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He stumbled into Suguru's room, the silence making him sick. He couldn’t stand it, but perhaps he was being an idiot deciding to come here.
Suguru had left the Jujutsu world behind. He had left him behind. He had left Shoko behind. He had left his echoes behind.
Suguru had turned the only happy memories in his life into a searing pain. He stumbled inside, the room a ghost of its previous owner. Clothes were still hanging in the cupboard. The bed was still unmade. The mangas were still on his desk. His favourite plants were still on the windowsill. His shampoo was still in the bathroom.
Satoru closed the door behind him and collapsed to the floor. He didn’t dare to step into the room, didn't dare to touch anything, afraid of some kind of spell breaking.
If he just laid here, maybe he could pretend that Suguru was just on a mission.
‘Explain yourself, Suguru.’
If he just laid here, maybe he could pretend he was just missing Suguru on one of his long missions.
‘There’s a point to it. Significance too.’
If he just laid here, maybe he could pretend Suguru had gone downstairs to get some snacks and his favourite sweets.
‘You’re going to kill all non-sorcerers and create a world of only Jujutsu Sorcerers?’
If he just laid here, maybe he could pretend that they were still the strongest together.
‘Are you the strongest because you’re Gojo Satoru or are you Gojo Satoru because you’re the strongest?’
He couldn’t even breathe properly, his tears choking up his throat. He tried, really tried to not cry but looking at the ghost of Suguru here didn’t help.
The whole world had just decided he was to be a miserable man his entire life, or perhaps fate had it personally out for him. Why couldn’t he just have his best friend next to him? Why hadn’t Suguru trusted him, told him something? Why did he have to be such a moron, to not notice his friend breaking?
He sat there waiting for Suguru to return from his mission, watching hours pass by. Maybe he should call. 'The number you have dialled is currently unreachable. Please try again later.’
Of course.
He looked around again. Everything was still the same. He was here. Alone. Suguru was gone.
He stood up shakily, his body moving on its own. He thought he would lay down on the bed, but it still smelled of Suguru. He tried to read the manga Suguru had been reading. But then Suguru wouldn’t know the ending. He looked into the cupboard, his eyes landing on the blue turtleneck Satoru had gifted him. Yeah, maybe he could touch that. If he ruined it like he ruined everything, he will get him a new one, this time in Suguru's favourite colour.
He held the turtleneck gingerly in his hands, afraid of even holding it. He simply stared at it as he made his way back to the door. Suguru didn’t Satoru touching his room anyway. Yeah, he will wait at the door for Suguru to return. Maybe he will change his mind and return.
He stared at the turtleneck. "Can you tell—tell me—when will—Su—Suguru be—be" He couldn’t even fucking say a damn sentence without his throat choking up from tears, threatening to swallow him whole. How pathetic.
He held the sweater close. It still had Suguru's scent. He hadn’t liked the light blue colour. I'll get your favourite colour now. He wore it at every special occasion. Why? He had used to say he didn’t want to just let such a nice and expensive seater collect dust. But you left it behind. Why did you leave it behind?
You should’ve taken it with you. You said you didn’t like the colour, but liked the sweater nonetheless. So, you should’ve taken it. Did you leave it behind because you didn’t like it? Did you just used to put up with it? Why did you leave it hanging miserably in your cupboard, Suguru? Isn’t that cruel? Now what should it do without you? What should I tell it when it asks me where are you? What should I say when it asks when are you coming back? You should’ve taken it with you, should’ve thrown it away with your hands.
Will you come to take it back with you? Just for that, will you come?
He had always loved the light that had greeted him in a dark room after he had been locked away. The gust of wind he had experienced on a particularly hot summer day. The warmth of sun on his skin he had felt after snowfall. The shine of stars he had used to see from his window as a kid in an otherwise bleak dark sky.
Suguru who had made Satoru feel like himself.
But then the door had closed again, cutting off the light and leaving him in his darkness, alone. The wind had only lasted for a second. The clouds had covered the sun again, making the snow feel even colder. The stars had disappeared as his windows were closed off.
Suguru had left Satoru, leaving only a strongest sorcerer in his wake that he couldn’t recognise.
He had seen Satoru leave with Suguru in Shinjuku as he had turned his back on the strongest sorcerer.