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Earth, to the five paladins, after being gone for five years, was far more bizarre than any other alien planet they had visited. The soft green grass that tickled their toes, the blue sky that was home to the heartfelt singing birds, and other beings that looked like them, it was overwhelming in the sense that for some reason they were afraid. They had thought that once they had returned home that they'd be filled with unspeakable joy, but no such feelings were present.
‘Is this really our planet?’ They had thought to themselves. Everything was just as they had left it, but they felt like they no longer belonged.
Coran on the other hand was absolutely in awe, he’d never seen such a planet. In rank of beauty it would definitely make second, right behind his home world. Being in a daze from admiring the soil, he hadn't realized when men in suits had surrounded them until his hands were in cuffs. He was rather confused to say the least.
“How can people treat their guests like this?!” Coran shouted.
“We landed here on a giant Castle ship, of course the secret service would be after us!” Pidge had explained with an attitude. Coran wondered if being sassy was ingrained in her DNA.
“Shut up.” The man shoving him in a black vehicle told them. In all his planet exploring years, he’d never seen such a contraption. Earth was by far the most interesting.
The group finally arrived at a white mansion and Coran again was forcibly handled. “I have to say I'm not getting a very good first impression of the people occupying this planet.” Coran griped trying to reach for his moostachio, but remembered he his hands were inaccessible at the moment.
When they got inside Lance, as expected ( though everyone assumed it’d be sooner) started to whine. “I finally get to be in the White House and it's because they think I’m a terrorist.”
“Lance, shh, don’t!” Shiro and Hunk warned to late.
“Terrorist? Terrorist?” The secret service agents turned to him echoing the word repeatedly until Lance shouted:
“Tourist, I said tourist.”
The agents turned back around to stare at nothing stoically like they had preciously. Then Coran heard it, the sound of footsteps approaching, they vibrated through the room and made Coran shudder for some reason. ‘Something is coming, something powerful and amazing.’ He thought to himself.
The man holding Coran let go and fell to his knees, he watched the rest of the men doing the same.
“Good afternoon, Mr. President.” They chorused.
Coran turned and that’s when he appeared before his eyes, his toupee billowing in the wind coming from an open window. A blush spread across his cheeks, the color of his hair. He remembered seeing a few balding spots on his luscious head of hair and he wondered, if it ever came to it, if he’d look that amazing wearing one.
“You must be the king of this planet, I am Princess Allura of Altea. As a princess, you must understand that I do not appreciate being treated like this!” Allura said in a commanding voice.
The man raised his hand and pinched his fingers together, his lips were pursed in a ever present kissy face. “I. Am. King.” He said in an odd manner.
“Dude, how long have we been gone?” Hunk whispered to Lance.
“I thought America was a democratic country.” Keith mumbled to himself.
“We are members of Voltron, surely you've heard of us. Voltron’s Paladins are even citizens of Earth. You must let us go.
“Voltron? Must be a Soviet Russian spy organization. Or you are all illegal aliens.” The man concluded.
“Woah, woah, woah there. Lance Mclain, look it up, I’m definitely neither of those.”
“And I’m Donald Trump, look it up, I am the most superior man on this planet.” He shouted lifting up his chin.
“Oh yes, I can certainly see that.” Coran piped up, whiping his head so his stauche bounces. Trump watched it closely, eyes wide in what seemed like surprise, but he quickly turned his from the scene.
“Let him go, as a man, he’s clearly the leader. We'll have a chat in my oval office.”
“But Sir, is it all right?”
“Did I studder?”
“But sir, having a meeting in the bathroom is kinda…”
Trump squinted his eyes at the man. “I'm surrounded by morons.”
The agent wiltered. “Why?” He wondered as Coron and Trump walked away.
“I don't either, man.” Lance replied. “I was thinking the same thing.”
The man stood up and turned to Lance a blush on his face, his body twisted in shyness and his fingers to his lips.
“You’re an idiot.” Keith says annoyed, as single tear threatening to fall.
Lance gasps in Spanish. “You’re the idiot for calling me an idiot.”
Lance felt a hand trail down his arm and pull at his cuffs. “How about I get you out of these and take you somewhere he can’t bother you anymore.” The agent from before said winking at the tan boy.
“Uhh…” Lance raised and eyebrow in confusion.
Just then the sound of chains breaking erupts through the room. It’s Keith, he had broken from his handcuffs with his mullet powers.
“Stay away from my husband!” He shouts running towards them and pulling the agents hand away breaking the cuffs along the way.
“Keith, my darling!” Lance says in a loving manner falling onto Keith’s chest.
The agent runs away in tears.
*Away in the Oval Office (the president’s office on the bathroom)*
“You are an alien! My Trump powers amaze even me.”
“Yes, I hope you don’t mind.”
“Mind?” Trump asks astonished. He then smiles, reaching over his desk to curl Coron’s face cow in his fingers. “Meeting you is the second greatest thing ever to happen to me. The first being an actor in that one Home Alone movie.”
“Wouldn’t being king…”
“Shhh~.” Trump interrupts. “Don’t say another word. I’m going to get us some liqueur.” He left and then came back with some hard Vinegar and scutch. He handed Coran I bottle and turned up radio to some techno music. They each took a sip and then ripped off their shirts to show their jacked bodies and started dancing.
The time passed as their bodies turned sweaty and they became hammers from the alcoholic beverages. Before they even realized it, it became evening. By this time they were already slow dancing, staring into each other’s eyes.
“Coran, this time with you has been life changing.”
“It’s the same with me, Donald.” He lifted his meowstoch to press it to Trump’s lips and Trump leaned forward to before pulling completely away and pushing Coran lightly back. “What’s the matter?”
“I can't, I have a wife, Melania. I love her too much.” He turned his face away not wanting to show his tears. “Even though she's a woman.”
“Should I just leave?” Coron asked in a whisper.
“Yes, you and the rest if your company are free.”
For the first time ever, Clean had experienced love and heart break all on the same fateful day.