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The sound of footsteps stopped right behind him and before Leonard could turn around to see what the ridiculous Seer was looking at, he felt his world tilt.
And just like that, the peaceful romantic veil lifted from Leonard's mind as he was grabbed.
"Klein!" He yelped, feeling the hand on his thigh tighten, his palm sliding dangerously close to Leonard's crotch as he was lifted off his feet and placed on Klein's left shoulder. "Stop it!" He hissed, clutching the top of the alpha's hair with one hand and his forearm with another. "What in the world is wrong with you? Put me down y—" the feeling of disbalance made him stutter like a frightened child. "—you madman!"
The Magician pretended not to hear him, turning to look up into his terrified eyes and grinning. "Do you like your new vantage point?"
"No." Leonard wasn't ready for more bullshit. His thighs trembled despite feeling the heat emanating from his mate's shoulder. "Put me down. I know I'm heavier than you so you might drop me." He tried to reason and Klein gave him an indulgent grin, as if he had asked for something irrational. "Darling, my heart, think of the baby," he pleaded, uncaring for how stupid his sappy pet names sounded.
I shouldn't have tried pranking him last week!
How was he supposed to know that pretending to go into labour was going to terrify Klein to the point of passing out for a few minutes? At four months pregnant, how could he go into labour and say 'the baby's coming' instead of panicking and babbling nonsense out of terror? Clearly it was scripted! A harmless prank to test the alpha's reflexes!
"I think this is good training. Sometimes on missions we need to carry our injured or passed out teammates. In those moments, we can't pick and choose how heavy they can be. Besides, this is better than doing weights." None of the words coming from that stupid mouth reassured Leonard.
How could he believe such bullshit when he could sense how hard Zhou Mingrui was shaking due to laughter?
You've already trained about this! You already know you should carry them in your arms or on your back!
He knew Zhou Mingrui was petty but he rarely saw that side of him. Leonard didn't know how to fix this mess he created so all he could do was resort to intimidation.
He tightened his grip on Klein's hair punishingly. "I'll rip your hair out and you'll have such a big bald patch even ritualistic magic won't fix it!" The threat might've been more effective if there wasn't an obvious tremble in his voice.
Zhou Mingrui just rolled his eyes at that. "It's quite shameful that you don't trust me, Leonard. Not only am I your alpha, the person who usually cooks for you, I'm also your most frequently-assigned mission partner!" He tsked, acting aggrieved.
"I. Will. Kill. You! I'm going to beat you up so badly you're truly going to realise what an omega's capable of. You're gonna be one big bruise when I'm done with you…" he paused, his face burning due to what he planned to say next. "Asshole!” The Omega swore aloud for the first time in his life. “I'll make a cautionary tale out of you! One that parents would tell their kids when they warn them about pranking others."
"Pffft! Ahahaha!! Goddess, your devoted servant has shed his Loenese manners and sworn at me! He's also gotten poetic with his threats!" He laughed, his body shaking with the action and Leonard felt his heart lodge into his throat.
"Zhou Mingrui!" He wailed, dropping the confident act. "I'm your wife! And I'm already doing all the hard work with Felix. Can't you forgive a harmless prank?" Leonard's voice softened, trying to appeal to Mingrui's protective alpha instincts.
"Harmless," he repeated. "I passed out and later had a nightmare about that!" Scoffing, Klein gently squeezed Leonard's upper thigh. "Grab my hand." He removed a hand from Leonard's thigh, raising it up near his face. "Grab it as support, swing your right leg off my shoulder and onto my right shoulder."
Leonard knew when to pick his battles and when to concede so he shakily reached out to grab Klein's hand before shifting. The alpha tightened his grip on his hand and slowly, Leonard swung his right leg off and onto Klein's other shoulder.
The feeling of being off-balance vanished and Mingrui's tense shoulders relaxed as the weight distribution became even.
"You're the worst," Leonard grumbled before threading their fingers together and squeezing them in gratitude. Goddess! I'm on love with the most terrifying man ever! He can plan such ridiculous pranks and I wouldn't know before I'm affected by them!
It was the Clown potion's fault! And Magician… Or maybe it's the entire Seer pathway's fault!
Anyone's fault but my own of course, he thought wryly.
Klein shook his head, raising his right hand and offering it to Leonard too as he teased. "You knew it and yet you married me and enjoy getting fucked by me."
"You're terrible! You could've just said 'and yet you love me' or something not as vulgar," he complained, entwining their right hands together too. "When are you letting me down? Don't forget, you can't get out of the steamed bun date no matter how hard you try. I wasn't the one who woke you early but since you're up, I want the date I deserve."
His ridiculous, shameless alpha pressed his nose against the inside of his thigh and inhaled slowly and deeply, sighing as if he was savouring a dessert.
Leonard's ears burned in response as Klein turned to shower his other thigh in the same attention. His mouth opened and closed but no words came out. Zhou Mingrui bit the fleshy thigh through the fabric, pulling a squeak from Leonard's mouth.
From his high vantage point, Leonard watched his mate indulge in whatever new fetish he had found out as his cheeks heated.
"Mhm, now that's how you say good morning," Klein drawled, lazy and pleased as he tilted his head to look up at Leonard. "You smell divine. I'd love to have your thighs wrapped around—"
He quickly wrenched a hand from Mingrui's grip and slapped it on that filthy mouth, blocking out whatever lewd thing was about to come.
"I won't reward you for bad behaviour," he answered resolutely. "I'm hungry. If you don't take get started on those buns within five minutes then I'm going make sure you get quadruple the amount of paperwork that you usually do."
Zhou Mingrui just sighed, as if he had made a very unreasonable demand before he began shuffling out of the door. Leonard only managed to fold himself in half a second before his face hit the doorframe.
"Are you mad?" He couldn't help but ask in wonder.
"For you, yes."
"Put me down!"
"Shh, I'm training myself for emergencies." Came the lame excuse again and Leonard resisted the urge to swear again.
"You're not going to carry me downstairs like this are you?" He was definitely regretting saying those words. What if Klein took it as a challenge?
"I'll put you down after I reach downstairs. I just want to test my endurance and stamina."
Endurance and stamina my ass! Who was it who fucked me until the early hours of the morning? Paperwork?
Leonard rested his forehead over the crown of Mingrui's head, sighing tiredly.
"Just for all of this, you owe me two scoops of ice cream. I'm going to be claiming this debt before we reach the office so prepare yourself."
"Only if you promise not to indulge in raw ingredients like a feral child." the Seer taunted shamelessly.
"Klein!"
“Am I wrong though?” His giggling mate asked and Leonard couldn't resist the urge to roll his eyes and fight back.
“Ha! Ha! You're so funny! I'm laughing so hard I might just give birth!”
“Leonard!”