Chapter Text
It was a cloudy day.
A gentle breeze swept through the trees surrounding a small village, rustling the leaves and sending the occasional stray leaf tumbling across the dirt paths. The villagers went about their usual routines, trading goods, tending to their crops, and chatting amongst themselves.
It was a perfectly ordinary day... right?
In Wifies' opinion, it was an incredibly BORING one.
He had come to the village hoping to find something to occupy his time. Anything, really. He'd already spent enough time sitting around with nothing to do, and remaining in the same place for any longer threatened to drive him insane.
Well, perhaps insane was an exaggeration.
He was simply bored.
Very bored.
Bored enough to wander into a random village without any particular destination in mind. (Survival instincts of a fly 💔)
As he strolled along the cleared paths with his hands tucked into his pockets, he glanced around at the surrounding buildings. A few villagers stood outside their homes, exchanging emeralds and goods. Someone was hammering away at a nearby workbench. A cat wandered across the path in front of him, completely indifferent to his existence.
Wifies watched it disappear around a corner.
"...Wow."
He continued walking. (And then I walk in /j)
Perhaps he should have brought something to do. A book, maybe. Or some materials to experiment with. He could always find a nearby crafting table and—
A blurry shape suddenly appeared in the corner of his vision.
Wifies barely had enough time to turn his head.
Something slammed into him.
"Huh— OOF!"
The impact knocked him off balance. His feet slipped against the dirt, and before he could figure out what had happened, he landed flat on his back with a rather undignified grunt.
For a moment, he simply lay there.
...What?
He blinked. Practically seeing stars in his gaze.
Then, he opened his eyes properly.
There was someone on top of him.
More specifically, there was a frog dude on top of him.
Wifies stared.
The frog dude stared back.
Or, at least, Wifies assumed he was staring at him. His eyes looked super unfocused, and his expression was so bizarre that Wifies couldn't tell whether he was looking at a person or some creature that had escaped from an abandoned laboratory. Yuck.
The stranger's mouth hung slightly open. An unusual amount of froth had gathered around it, and his entire body seemed to vibrate with an energy that could only be described as deeply concerning.
Wifies slowly raised his head.
Then he lowered it again.
He closed his eyes.
No.
He opened them.
Absolutely not.
This had to be a dream.
He had been having a perfectly ordinary day. A boring day, yes, but an ordinary one anyways. He had been walking. Mindlessly. Peacefully.
And now there was a frog on him.
A frog that looked like it had just consumed an entire inventory of suspicious potions. (Bullying Froggy atp bro)
"...Excuse me?"
The frog dude made a strange noise.
"RIBBIT."
Wifies' expression flattened.
"Right. Of course."
He tried to sit up, only for the stranger to lean forward and nearly headbutt him.
"WOAH—!"
Wifies immediately shoved him away.
Getting the stranger off him proved significantly more difficult than he thought. The frog dude clung to him with an almost alarming amount of determination, forcing Wifies to struggle against him until he finally managed to push him aside.
Wifies scrambled to his feet.
He retreated several blocks worth of distance—or at least it felt that way—before turning to face his attacker.
The frog dude remained on the ground.
He looked up at Wifies.
Wifies looked down at him.
Silence.
Then Wifies pointed at him accusingly. His eyebrows knit together in frustration.
"Who are you?!"
The stranger tilted his head.
"RIBBIT."
Wifies stared.
"...That's not a name."
The frog dude grinned.
It was not a reassuring grin.
In fact, Wifies was beginning to suspect that nothing about this encounter was going to be reassuring.
He took another step backward.
"Okay. Let's try this again. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
The frog dude's eyes widened.
"RIBBIT!"
"That's not—"
The stranger abruptly lurched to his feet.
Wifies froze.
The frog dude froze, too.
For a brief, wonderful moment, Wifies thought perhaps the situation had finally stabilized.
Then the frog dude lunged at him again.
"OH, COME ON—!"
Wifies threw himself sideways.
The stranger sailed past him and crashed face-first into the dirt.
There was a distinctly unpleasant thud.
Wifies stared at the scene.
The frog dude slowly lifted his head.
Dirt clung to his face.
There was so much dirt on him that one could almost mistake him for a toad.
Eugh.
Wifies wrinkled his nose, taking the slightest step away.
"That is disgusting."
The frog dude smiled at him again.
Wifies decided, quite firmly, that he did not like this person.
He turned around and ran.
Behind him came a series of hurried footsteps.
Wifies glanced over his shoulder.
The frog dude was following him.
On ALL FOURS.
Of course he was. (You will be missed, Wifies. Goodluck /j)
"WHY ARE YOU CHASING ME?!"
"RIBBIT!"
"THAT DOESN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!"
Wifies picked up his pace, weaving between buildings as the stranger pursued him through the village. A villager carrying a basket of carrots barely managed to move out of the way before the frog dude nearly barreled into him.
"HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!"
The villager's complaint was answered with another enthusiastic ribbit.
Wifies heard the basket hit the ground.
He did not look back.
He was many things. He was intelligent, resourceful, and generally capable of handling unexpected situations.
But he was not equipped to deal with whatever the hell this was.
He rounded a corner, nearly collided with a wooden fence, (just pretend there are usually fences in villages shhh) and slowed to a stop.
A dead end.
Wifies stared at the fence.
Then he slowly turned around.
The frog dude was approaching.
His grin had somehow grown wider.
Wifies took one look at him and immediately reconsidered every decision he had ever made.
"...Okay."
He raised his hands slightly.
"Let's be reasonable."
The frog dude tilted his head.
"Ribbit?"
"Yes. Excellent. You're listening."
Wifies took a careful step to the side.
The frog dude mirrored him.
Wifies stepped in the opposite direction.
The frog dude did the same.
Wifies narrowed his eyes.
Oh, you're kidding me.
He darted to the left.
The frog dude lunged.
Wifies barely dodged, and the stranger slammed into the fence hard enough to make the wooden planks rattle.
Wifies took the opportunity to slip past him.
He made it three steps before the frog dude caught up and collided with him again.
They both tumbled to the ground.
"OW!"
Wifies pushed himself upright, rubbing his shoulder.
He sat there for a moment, glaring at the stranger.
The frog dude sat across from him.
He looked delighted.
Wifies' irritation slowly gave way to something else.
Confusion.
He examined the stranger more carefully.
The unfocused eyes. The strange movements. The frothing mouth. The complete inability to respond coherently to simple questions.
It was bizarre, certainly, but there was a pattern to it.
Wifies tilted his head.
"...Oh."
The frog dude blinked.
Wifies' expression changed.
"You're sick."
The stranger stared at him.
Wifies stared back.
"You're actually sick."
He sighed and dragged a hand down his face.
"Great. Just what I needed today."
He had come to this village looking for something to do.
Technically, he had found something.
Unfortunately, that something was a highly erratic frog person who seemed determined to make his life miserable.
Wifies glanced toward the village's main path. A few villagers were peeking around the corners of their houses, watching the spectacle with varying degrees of concern.
Wonderful.
Now he had an audience.
He stood and brushed the dirt off his clothes.
"All right. Come on."
The frog dude immediately scrambled to his feet.
Wifies pointed toward the opposite end of the village.
"I'm going to find somewhere safe to take you before you bite somebody."
The stranger's eyes widened.
"WHERE ARE WE GOING?!"
Wifies flinched.
He whipped his head around and pressed a finger to his lips.
"Shh! Be quiet!"
The frog dude gasped.
Wifies stared at him.
"...Why are you gasping?"
"YOU TOLD ME TO BE QUIET!"
"YES, AND YOU'RE STILL YELLING!" Wifies whisper-yelled.
The frog dude clamped both hands over his mouth.
For approximately two seconds.
Then he leaned forward and whispered at a volume that was somehow louder than his previous shouting.
"WHERE ARE WE GOING?"
Wifies closed his eyes. Just how stupid is this guy?
He was going to regret this.
He could already tell. Wifies pinched the bridge of his nose.
He needed to think.
First, he needed to figure out what exactly was wrong with this stranger. Second, he needed to find a place where he could examine him without an audience of increasingly concerned villagers. Third, he needed to figure out how to get through the rest of the day without losing his mind.
In that order.
Preferably.
"All right," he began, lowering his hand. "What's your name?"
The frog dude stared at him.
Wifies waited.
"...Your name."
The stranger opened his mouth.
"FROGGY!"
Wifies blinked.
"Oh. So you can speak properly."
Froggy gasped as if Wifies had just accused him of a terrible crime.
"I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO SPEAK!"
"Congrats!"
"THANK YOU!"
Wifies stared at him for a long moment. Yeah, he was really stupid.
He was beginning to suspect that this was going to be the longest afternoon of his life.
"Right. Froggy." He gestured vaguely toward the path. "I'm Wifies. Now, would you mind following me?"
Froggy immediately grabbed his arm.
"WHERE ARE WE GOING, WIFIES?"
Wifies looked down at the hand wrapped around his sleeve.
Then he looked at Froggy.
Then back at the hand.
"...You know what? I'm not even going to ask."
He began walking.
Froggy followed him with the enthusiasm of a puppy that had just discovered its owner was holding a treat.
Except this puppy was approximately as coordinated as a shopping cart with a broken wheel.
He tripped over a stone.
He recovered.
He nearly walked into a tree.
He recovered from that too.
Then he stopped to stare at a chicken.
Wifies made it another three steps before realizing the footsteps behind him had disappeared.
He turned.
Froggy was crouching in the middle of the path, staring intently at the chicken.
The chicken stared back.
A staring contest ensued.
Wifies watched for several seconds.
"...Froggy."
No response.
"Froggy."
The chicken clucked.
Froggy gasped.
"IT SPOKE."
Wifies' expression went completely blank.
"It's a chicken."
"IT SPOKE, WIFIES."
"Yes. That's usually what chickens do."
Froggy slowly turned to face him.
His expression was one of profound realization. His eyebrows (if he even has any) shot up, looking like he just invented the greatest thing ever. Wow.
"...Can I eat it?"
Wifies stared at him.
"No?"
"WHY?"
"Because it's someone's chicken!"
Froggy looked at the chicken again.
The chicken clucked.
Froggy clucked back.
Wifies had absolutely no idea how to respond to that. How did he even manage to replicate the chicken's clucking noise?
He simply grabbed Froggy by the back of his shirt and started dragging him away.
"COME ON."
"WAIT! I WAS MAKING A FRIEND TO EA- TO ENJOY!"
"MAKE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE WHO ISN'T LIVESTOCK!"
"THAT'S SPECIES-IST!"
"THAT IS NOT A WORD!"
A villager passing by stopped to watch them.
Wifies gave him a strained smile.
"He's not usually like this."
He paused, his smile now looking sheepish.
"...Actually, I don't know. I met him ten minutes ago."
The villager slowly backed away.
Wifies couldn't blame him.
It took another five minutes to reach the outskirts of the village.
Five minutes.
That was all.
And somehow, Wifies had aged approximately five years.
He led Froggy along a narrow dirt path that wound between a few scattered trees. The village was quieter out here, far enough away that the noise of trading villagers and clucking chickens had faded into the background.
There was a small, abandoned-looking wooden structure nearby. It appeared to be an old storage shed, its roof slightly crooked and its walls weathered by years of neglect.
Wifies stopped in front of it.
"Perfect."
Froggy tilted his head.
"IS THAT YOUR HOUSE?"
"No."
"IS IT MY HOUSE?"
"No."
"IS IT OUR HOUSE?"
Wifies slowly turned to look at him.
"...What?"
Froggy gestured enthusiastically toward the shed.
"OUR HOUSE!"
"We met ten minutes ago."
"AND?"
Wifies stared.
Froggy stared back.
For a brief moment, Wifies considered simply walking away and allowing nature to take its course.
Then Froggy smiled at him.
It was a completely ridiculous smile. His face was still dirty, his eyes were still unfocused, and he was still behaving like he'd been launched directly out of a malfunctioning dispenser.
But there was something almost childlike about his excitement.
Wifies sighed.
Great. Now I feel bad.
"All right," he muttered. "Temporary shelter. That's all."
Froggy threw both arms into the air.
"YIPPEE!"
"Inside voice."
"YIPPEE!"
"That was the opposite of an inside voice."
Wifies pushed open the shed door.
It creaked loudly.
Inside was a small collection of old crates, a dusty workbench, and a few shelves. There was enough space to sit down, and the roof appeared to be intact.
More importantly, there were no chickens.
Wifies stepped inside and glanced around.
He could work with this.
He turned toward Froggy.
"Okay. Here's what's going to happen."
Froggy immediately sat on the floor.
Wifies paused.
"...I wasn't finished."
Froggy looked up at him.
"YOU SAID SIT."
"I did not."
"YOU WERE THINKING IT."
Wifies slowly inhaled.
Then exhaled.
"Just stay there."
Froggy nodded enthusiastically.
Wifies walked toward the workbench, inspecting the dusty surface. He brushed away some debris and set his hands against the wood.
He would need to conduct a basic examination first. Figure out whether Froggy was experiencing some kind of magical condition, a potion-related reaction, or something else entirely.
He wasn't a professional physician, but he knew enough about potions to recognize that Froggy's symptoms were far from normal.
And if there was a way to help him, Wifies would find it.
He always did.
Usually.
He turned around.
"Froggy, I'm going to ask you some questions."
Froggy saluted.
"YES, SIR!"
"First, how long have you been feeling like this?"
Froggy tilted his head.
"LIKE WHAT?"
Wifies gestured toward him.
"...Like this."
Froggy looked down at himself.
He examined his hands.
His clothes.
His legs.
Then he looked back up.
"LIKE A FROG!"
Wifies stared at him.
"...I'm going to need you to be more specific."
"LIKE A REALLY COOL FROG!"
Wifies closed his eyes.
He was going to need a notebook.
And possibly a stronger headache potion.
Approximately ten minutes later...
Wifies had learned three things.
One: Froggy was physically capable of sitting still for a maximum of four seconds.
Two: he appeared to have the attention span of a particularly distracted slime.
And three: attempting to ask him anything resembling a medical question was an exercise in futility.
"Have you eaten anything unusual recently?" Wifies asked.
Froggy was currently upside down, leaning against one of the crates.
"DEFINE UNUSUAL."
"Anything you wouldn't normally eat."
Froggy thought about it.
Wifies waited.
"...A rock."
Wifies stopped writing.
He slowly lifted his head.
"You ate a rock?"
Froggy nodded.
"IT LOOKED TASTY."
Wifies stared at him for a full three seconds.
Then he wrote something in his notebook.
Possible ingestion of non-food substances.
He underlined it.
Twice.
"Anything else?"
Froggy thought harder.
"...A mushroom."
"What kind of mushroom?"
"A PURPLE ONE."
Wifies' pen stopped moving.
"...Where did you find it?"
"IN A CAVE!"
Wifies slowly lowered the notebook.
He looked at Froggy.
Froggy looked at him.
Neither spoke.
Then Wifies took a deep breath.
"Froggy."
"YES?"
"Did the mushroom have spots?"
Froggy's eyes widened.
"IT HAD LOTS OF SPOTS!"
Wifies put the notebook down.
He stared at the ceiling.
I am going to have to deal with this one step at a time.
He wasn't certain whether the mushroom was relevant, but it was worth investigating. Strange ingredients could cause strange reactions, especially if the mushroom had magical properties.
He would need to find out where Froggy had encountered it.
He would also need to ensure that Froggy didn't eat anything else.
Preferably including the furniture.
Wifies turned back toward him.
"All right. New rule."
Froggy sat upright.
"NO EATING RANDOM THINGS."
Froggy gasped.
"NOT EVEN THE ROCKS?"
"ESPECIALLY NOT THE ROCKS."
"THIS IS OPPRESSION."
"THIS IS COMMON SENSE."
Froggy crossed his arms.
Wifies crossed his.
They glared at each other.
Then Froggy slowly uncrossed his arms.
"...Can I eat a cookie?"
Wifies stared.
"Where did you get a cookie?"
Froggy looked down at his hand.
There was, in fact, a cookie in it.
Neither of them knew where it had come from.
Wifies looked at the cookie.
Then at Froggy.
Then back at the cookie.
"...Put that down."
Froggy shoved the entire thing into his mouth.
Wifies made a noise that was somewhere between a gasp and a scream.
"FROGGY!"
Froggy chewed happily.
Wifies pressed both hands against his face.
I need a vacation.
I need several vacations.
I need to move to a different dimension.
For all his complaining, Wifies didn't leave.
He could have.
There was nothing physically stopping him from walking back to the village, finding somewhere to rest, and pretending that the entire encounter had never happened.
But he couldn't quite bring himself to do it.
Froggy was clearly unwell. Beneath all the shouting and erratic movements, there was something genuinely concerning about his condition.
And Wifies didn't like unanswered questions.
Especially when those questions involved a stranger who had apparently decided that eating rocks was a reasonable life choice.
He returned to the workbench and opened his notebook to a fresh page.
At the top, he wrote:
CASE FILE: FROGGY
Below it, he began listing the symptoms.
* Unusually erratic behavior.
* Difficulty maintaining attention.
* Excessive aggression or impulsivity.
* Unusual vocalizations.
* Possible exposure to unknown magical substances.
He paused.
Then added:
Eats rocks.
He stared at the last point.
"...I cannot believe I have to write that down."
From across the shed came a loud crash.
Wifies slowly turned his head.
Froggy was standing beside a toppled crate.
The contents had spilled across the floor.
Froggy looked at the mess.
Then at Wifies.
Then back at the mess.
"...Oops."
Wifies stared at him.
Froggy smiled nervously.
Wifies closed his notebook.
Very carefully.
Then he stood up.
"Froggy."
"YES?"
"Come here."
Froggy immediately ran toward him.
He tripped over the fallen crate.
He stumbled.
He recovered.
Then he crashed directly into Wifies.
Both of them fell over.
There was a long silence.
Wifies lay flat on his back, staring at the wooden ceiling.
Froggy lay beside him, looking perfectly content.
"...You know what?" Wifies muttered.
Froggy turned his head.
"WHAT?"
Wifies closed his eyes.
"I'm adding another symptom."
Froggy gasped.
"WHAT IS IT?"
Wifies opened one eye.
"You're annoying."
Froggy grinned.
"THANK YOU!"
"That wasn't a compliment."
"YOU'RE WELCOME!"
Wifies stared at the ceiling again.
Somewhere, deep within the recesses of his mind, a tiny voice whispered that he was going to regret every second of this.
For once, Wifies had the distinct feeling that the tiny voice was absolutely correct.
And he had no idea that this was only the beginning.
Wifies remained on the floor for another few seconds, staring blankly at the ceiling.
Beside him, Froggy had somehow managed to find a piece of wood and attempted to chew on it.
Wifies slowly turned his head.
"...Is that edible?"
Froggy paused.
He looked at the wood.
Then at Wifies.
"NO!"
"Then why are you eating it?"
Froggy considered this question like a philosopher thinking hard about the meaning of life.
"...IT LOOKED EDIBLE."
Wifies stared at him.
Then, unexpectedly, he laughed.
It wasn't really that loud. Just a short chuckle that escaped his mouth before he could stop it.
Froggy immediately perked up.
"YOU LAUGHED!"
Wifies' expression returned to its usual composure.
"No, I didn't."
"YES, YOU DID!"
"You imagined it."
"YOU THINK I'M FUNNY!"
"I think you need medical attention."
"THAT'S BASICALLY THE SAME THING!"
Wifies opened his mouth to argue.
Then he stopped.
Wait.
That was an interesting response.
He sat up, brushing dust from his sleeves.
"Actually, hold on."
Froggy blinked.
"WHAT?"
"Can you understand everything I'm saying?"
Froggy nodded.
"YEP!"
"And you remember your own name?"
"FROGGY!"
"Good. Can you remember anything that happened before you started feeling like this?"
Froggy's expression changed.
For the first time since they'd met, he didn't immediately shout an answer.
He looked away.
His fingers fidgeted with the edge of his sleeve.
Wifies noticed.
Of course he noticed.
"Froggy?"
"...I dunno."
The answer was quieter than Wifies expected.
He leaned forward slightly.
"You don't remember?"
Froggy shook his head.
"NOT REALLY."
Wifies reached for his notebook.
"That's fine. Take your time. Do you remember where you were?"
Froggy squinted at the floor.
Then at the wall.
Then at the ceiling.
"...Somewhere."
Wifies paused, pen hovering above the paper.
"Somewhere."
"YEAH!"
"How helpful of you to say."
"THANK YOU!"
Wifies wrote nothing down.
Instead, he watched Froggy for another moment, considering the possibilities.
Memory loss wasn't necessarily connected to the other symptoms, but it was worth keeping in mind. If Froggy couldn't remember what he'd done or where he'd been, there was a chance he'd encountered something dangerous without realizing it. (ouuuu)
A potion, perhaps. A magical plant. Some sort of environmental effect.
Or something Wifies hadn't considered yet.
That last possibility was particularly interesting.
He liked problems that didn't have obvious answers.
They were the only ones worth solving.
"All right," he said, closing his notebook. "Let's try something else."
Froggy immediately sat up straighter.
"IS IT A GAME?"
"No."
"IS IT A CHALLENGE?"
"No."
"DO I GET A PRIZE?"
Wifies thought about it.
"...Maybe?"
Froggy gasped so loudly that Wifies briefly wondered whether the entire village had heard him.
"WHAT'S THE PRIZE?"
"Information."
Froggy stared.
Wifies stared back.
"...You don't know what that means, do you?"
"NOPE!"
"Wonderful."
Wifies stood and walked toward the workbench.
He needed to gather a few things.
Fortunately, he'd brought a small satchel with him when he'd left home that morning. It contained some basic supplies, a notebook, a few spare bottles, and several ingredients he'd collected for an unrelated project.
He placed the satchel on the table and began sorting through its contents.
Froggy immediately appeared beside him.
"WHAT'S THAT?"
Wifies didn't look up.
"A satchel."
"WHAT'S IN IT?"
"Supplies."
"WHAT KIND OF SUPPLIES?"
"Useful ones."
"CAN I SEE?"
"No."
Froggy leaned over his shoulder.
Wifies shifted sideways.
Froggy shifted with him.
Wifies moved to the other side of the table.
Froggy followed.
Wifies stopped.
"...Are you doing this on purpose?"
Froggy grinned.
"DOING WHAT?"
Wifies narrowed his eyes.
Interesting.
He had no idea whether Froggy was genuinely unaware of how irritating he was being or whether he simply enjoyed getting a reaction out of people.
Both possibilities were equally plausible.
He made a mental note to investigate that later.
For now, he pulled a small glass vial from his satchel.
Inside was a pale blue liquid that shimmered faintly when it caught the light.
Froggy went completely still.
Wifies noticed immediately.
His fingers paused around the vial.
"...Oh?"
Froggy's eyes were fixed on the liquid.
The grin had disappeared from his face.
Instead, he looked almost apprehensive.
Wifies tilted the vial slightly.
Froggy's gaze followed it.
He moved the vial to the left.
Froggy's eyes moved left.
He moved it to the right.
Froggy's eyes moved right.
Wifies' expression sharpened.
"You're reacting to this."
Froggy blinked.
"HUH?"
"This."
Wifies held up the vial.
Froggy immediately leaned away.
Wifies stared at him.
Then at the vial.
Then back at Froggy.
A slow smile spread across his face.
"Well, well."
Froggy took another step backward.
Wifies took one forward.
Froggy took two backward.
Wifies stopped.
"...You're afraid of it."
"NO, I'M NOT!"
"Then why are you moving away?"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE MOVING TOWARD ME!"
"Fair point."
Wifies stepped back.
Froggy relaxed slightly.
The moment Wifies raised the vial again, however, Froggy flinched.
Wifies' smile widened.
"Fascinating."
Froggy looked horrified.
"WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT?!"
"Because this is fascinating."
"IT'S A BOTTLE!"
"It's a bottle containing an alchemical mixture that appears to trigger a behavioral response in someone displaying unexplained symptoms."
Froggy stared at him.
"...SO IT'S A BOTTLE."
Wifies sighed.
"Yes, Froggy. It's a bottle."
He carefully placed it on the workbench, well out of Froggy's reach.
Then he opened his notebook.
Observation One: Froggy exhibits an immediate reaction to an unidentified potion.
Observation Two: The reaction appears to involve fear or aversion.
Observation Three: Further testing is required.
He paused.
Then added:
Note: Do not allow Froggy near the supplies.
From across the room came a suspicious rustling sound.
Wifies slowly lifted his head.
Froggy was standing beside the satchel.
His hands were inside it.
Wifies stared at him.
Froggy stared back.
Neither moved.
"...Froggy."
"YES?"
"Take your hands out of my bag."
Froggy slowly withdrew them.
He was holding a second vial.
This one contained a bright orange liquid.
Wifies' eyes widened.
"WAIT—"
Froggy uncorked it.
"WHAT DOES THIS ONE DO?"
"PUT THAT DOWN!"
Froggy sniffed it.
Wifies practically lunged across the room.
"DO NOT—"
Froggy sneezed.
A tiny spark shot out of the vial.
There was a brief pop.
Then Froggy's entire head became surrounded by a cloud of pink smoke.
Silence.
Wifies froze.
Froggy froze.
They stared at each other through the smoke.
A single pink particle drifted between them.
Froggy slowly blinked.
"...Oops."
Wifies looked at the vial.
Then at Froggy.
Then at the vial again.
He snatched it from Froggy's hand and examined the label.
His expression changed.
"Oh, for the love of—"
He stopped himself.
Read the label again.
Then looked at Froggy.
"...You absolute menace."
Froggy grinned.
"THANK YOU!"
"THAT WAS NOT A COMPLIMENT."
"YOU'RE WELCOME!"
Wifies set the vial down and immediately began examining Froggy's face.
"Any dizziness? Nausea? Changes in vision?"
Froggy thought about it.
"...I CAN SEE YOU."
"Excellent. That's a start."
Wifies waved a hand in front of Froggy's face.
Froggy followed the movement.
He snapped his fingers.
Froggy blinked.
Wifies leaned closer.
"Can you tell me how many fingers I'm holding up?"
Froggy stared at his hand.
"...SEVENTEEN."
Wifies looked at his five fingers.
Then at Froggy.
"...Right."
He scribbled something into his notebook.
"Possible temporary cognitive disturbance."
Froggy leaned over to look.
"WHAT'S THAT?"
"Medical terminology."
"CAN I HAVE SOME?"
"No."
"WHY?"
"Because you can't eat medical terminology."
Froggy looked disappointed.
Wifies returned to the vial.
He checked the label more carefully this time.
It wasn't a dangerous substance under normal circumstances, but it wasn't meant to be opened without preparation, either. The smoke had been an unexpected reaction, likely caused by the vial's contents coming into contact with air.
He should have known better than to leave it where Froggy could reach it.
Then again, he'd also failed to anticipate that Froggy would attempt to eat a wooden crate.
There were several lessons to be learned here.
Most of them involved Froggy.
Wifies sighed.
"All right. That's enough experimenting for now."
Froggy gasped.
"WE WERE EXPERIMENTING?"
"Technically."
"THAT WAS AWESOME!"
"You nearly inhaled an unstable alchemical mixture."
"AWESOME!"
Wifies stared at him.
Then, despite himself, he smiled faintly.
"...You're unbelievable."
Froggy beamed.
"I GET THAT A LOT!"
For a moment, Wifies simply watched him.
He was still loud. Still erratic. Still completely incapable of following a simple instruction.
But he'd reacted to the blue vial.
He'd also had an unusual response to the orange mixture.
Those reactions might have been unrelated, but Wifies couldn't dismiss the possibility that they were connected to whatever had caused Froggy's condition.
And if they were connected, there might be a way to reverse it.
He returned to his notebook, his mind already racing through possible explanations.
"Okay," he murmured. "Let's start from the beginning."
Froggy leaned over the table.
"THE BEGINNING OF WHAT?"
"Your symptoms."
"OH!"
Wifies picked up his pen.
"Tell me everything you remember before you found me."
Froggy opened his mouth.
Paused.
Looked at the ceiling.
Then grinned.
"...I WAS HUNGRY."
Wifies waited.
"...And then?"
"THEN I FOUND YOU!"
Wifies slowly lowered his pen.
He stared at Froggy for a moment.
Then he wrote down the answer.
Possible trigger: unknown. Subject recalls hunger immediately before encounter.
He underlined unknown.
Twice.
This was going to take longer than he'd anticipated.
Much longer.
But for the first time that afternoon, Wifies wasn't bored anymore.
He had a mystery.
(ok im done writing. mac & cheese DONE /ref)