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Shen Qingqiu stared at the flesh creature his 8-year-old son had brought him. The beady little black eyes of the oddly phallic being on four legs stared straight back at him, peering straight into his soul as if it knew his deepest darkest secrets.
When it came to Shen Yuan, Shen Jiu was willing to give the world to him. Shen Yuan was his son, his sweet baby that he spent eight months carrying and three painstaking hours pushing out of his body. Before Shen Yuan, he thought Qiu Jianluo’s tortuous ways of tormenting him was bad, but childbearing was came pretty close to it in all honesty. He had come out of that experience a forever changed man.
In other words, Shen Qingqiu loved Shen Yuan to the point it tortured his very being.
But this. This— This horrid abomination that the heavens created out of spite. This might just be where he drew the line of just how much he loved his adorable son.
“A’diiiiieeeee, can we please keep him?”
“Wouldn’t you rather a more… conventional companion, Yuan’er?”
Shen Yuan placed his palms together, his fingers crossing over each other as he begged with the strongest puppy eyes he could muster up. There was nothing Shen Yuan hated more than acting like a spoiled brat, but the… Dog? Cat? Lizard? Well, whatever it was, sure looked pitiful and ShenYuan hated the idea of leaving it be.
“But isn’t he cute?” Shen Yuan asked, shoving the naked phallic thing into his father’s poor face.
Mu Qingfang told Shen Jiu that sometimes seeing cute things brought up feelings of aggression, maybe the aggression that was currently stewing in his bones was because he found this beast cute.
And then the creature started drooling.
Shen Jiu was sure that he did not find this abomination cute.
“No, it is gross and you will put it back right where you found it.” Shen Jiu spat out, taking a step back as he flicked his fan open as if he were building a wall between him and the creature.
The boy’s mouth dropped open in shock, his father had never used that tone of voice on him. Shen Yuan had always been told he was a mature child and he took pride in that. Not once had he never thrown a tantrum, caused trouble, or even broke down in sobs. Sure, maybe it was because his father spoiled him, but he would like to think he really was as mature as everyone had praised him to be.
For the first time in Shen Yuan’s sentient life, tears pooled at his lashes before cascading down. It was when his little friend had started to nuzzle his head against Shen Yuan’s cheek in worry did the boy start fully sobbing with broken hasps and hiccups.
Shen Jiu watched the whole interaction with panicked eyes and groaned. He really had no choice to accept this thing into his family of two, didn’t he? “Fine, you can keep it! But, you’re responsible for its well-being, do you understand?”
Shen Yuan nodded, whining as his father knelt down in front of him to wipe his big globs of tears away. “Thank you, A’die,” he muttered hoarsely.
“Don’t thank me. You know I can never say no to you.”
The regret of letting Shen Yuan keep a pet did not settle in until Shen Jiu realized he had to care for this thing himself. What was he thinking? An eight-year-old, even while as smart as Shen Yuan, would be incapable of caring for another living creature all on their own.
Shen Jiu had to feed the thing a special diet, bathe the thing because dirt and grom got stuck between its folds, and make custom clothes for the thing because it got cold easily. There was nothing about the thing that Shen Jiu did not hate.
“A’die, stop referring to Bingus as ‘the thing’! It’s rude and Bingus doesn't like it,’ his son whined as he listened to Shen Jiu muttering curses beneath his breath as he trimmed the creature’s nails. Just why did it have to have claws!
His son was lucky that Shen Jiu loved him so much. Had he not loved this boy, he would have long set this thing on fire, pulverized it, then kicked it down his peak while giggling as he watched its pink corpse splatter against every rock it hit on the way down. Awfully cruel? Yes. But anyone would understand when you had to hold something that felt like a large pillar on four legs as often as he did.
“Bingus is an animal and does not understand human speech. This one is sure this thing doesn’t feel.”
Shen Yuan stared into his companion’s derpy and empty eyes. No matter how hard Shen Yuan stared into them, not a single thought could be found. “Okay, so maybe Bingus is stupid, but I still feel hurt whenever you call Bingus that.”
“Well, there’s no helping it. You can’t complain when this father of yours is taking such good painstakingly care of him.”
“Well, maybe if you spent more time playing with him instead of taking care of him, you wouldn’t find him to be such a chore,” Shen Yuan humphed with crossed arms over his chest and a pout.
Shen Jiu didn’t bother with a retort. What was the point if it would only lead to an argument? Not only that, but Shen Yuan was right in a way. Taking care of such a high needs pet was far too much of a responsibility for something that Shen Jiu held not even a drop of love for.
“I know!” Shen Yuan suddenly yelled.
How odd, Shen Jiu’s stomach suddenly dropped.
“You should take Bingus to the next Peak Lord meeting! His purring will calm you down whenever you start to get angry.” Shen Yuan smiled at his own brilliance. He was so smart, thinking of an idea to get his father to like Bingus who clearly held a one-sided affection for his father. Bingus really did look like a pitiful kicked dog whenever he nuzzled his head against his father to ask for pets, only to be ignored and be left hanging.
Shen Jiu froze in sheer fear at the thought of arriving at the Peak Lord meeting with such a phallic thing in hand. Someone as elegant and peerless as him, holding something so shameful looking, oh, he would lose all face.
“Absolutely not! Are you trying to kill your father?”
“But… But…”
Then those damned tears started trickling down Shen Yuan’s face again. Shen Jiu wanted to think they were fake, just like most of Shen Jiu’s own tears, but he knew his son was being genuine as he always was.
“Fine! Just this once, and never again,” he said firmly as he rubbed his temples.
Once again, Shen Jiu soon began regretting his choices. Giving into that son of his so easily, just what had become such a cold man like him.
Shen Jiu let the thing sit in his lap as he waited for the meeting to begin. As always, he was the second to arrive with the first being Shang Qinghua as always.
Shang Qinghua squinted at the thing in his lap, scrutinizing it with great confusion. Was that Luo Binghe? “Shixiong… Did your disciple get cursed?”
“Which one,” Shen Qingqiu answered gruffly as he poured himself a much needed cup of tea.
“Luo Binghe…”
“No, that little beast is doing fine—great even. So great in fact, he baked me and Yuan’er some cookies,” Shen Jiu sighed out, exhaustion hanging onto every word.
“So, the…” Shang Qinghua gestured to the naked mole rat looking creature in Shen Jiu’s lap with a confused noise.
“Pingus.”
“The pingus…” The animal’s name bounced in Shang Qinghua’s head a few times before it finally landed in his head. “The pingus isn’t Luo Binghe?”
Somehow, that question managed to get a rare snort out of Shen Qingqiu. “No, but he sure does look like him, doesn’t he? So much so that my son endearingly named this thing after that little beast and even had a wig custom-made for it to look even more like him.”
Shang Qinghua nodded as if he understood. He did not.
Every single Peak Lord that entered and saw the phallic creature kneading at their sect’s tactician, did the same double take as Shang Qinghua.
Every single Peak Lord did until Liu Qingge that is. The monet Liu Qingge’s eyes crossed paths with the dick shaped beast in Shen Qingqiu’s lap, he froze up and took a wide stance as if he were asserting dominance against it.
“What is that thing,” Liu Qingge hissed with malice that Shen Qingqiu had never seen.
“A Pingus,” Shen Qingqiu calmly answered.
“Why is it here.”
“My son begged me to bond with him during this meeting,” he replied with a cheeky smile as he ran his hands across Bingus’s fatty body. The pingus emitted a sound that was an odd cross between a purr and a croak as it received its first ever sign of affection from Shen Jiu.
Liu Qingge hissed at the noise. Hissed! Like some sort of offended cat. It honestly reminded him of his favorite stray cat that hisses at the cucumbers he was growing in his garden. The sight was humorous and entertaining, yet oddly endearing all rolled into one.
“Well, get rid of it. It doesn’t suit you.”
“Oh? But, I quite like him. He’s quite cute, don’t you think so too?I even feel oddly maternal about him.”
Liu Qingge’s face clearly said he couldn’t believe his bullshit, and quite frankly, Shen Jiu couldn’t believe it either. All that mattered was pissing Liu Qingge off and getting a leg up on him; clearly, Bigus was the key to it all.