Work Text:
F1 Drivers 2026
08:21 PM
LANDO
Important question
George Russell
Sorry but all of your important questions are not important.
And they definitely don’t belong in this group chat.
LANDO
You don’t even know what I wanted to ask?
And starting your sentnce with sorry doesn’t make it less rude
George Russell
I know its going to be dumb and that’s enough for me to know.
Carlos
I have to agree with George, at least partly
LANDO
Thanks traitor
Oscar
I´m more than happy to hear your question
LANDO
You have to say that because you’re my boyfriend. You have to hype me up, agre with me all the time and all that stuff
Oscar
I don’t always agree with you
Gabi
You agree with a lot he says
George Russell
Because he´s a little crazy sometimes …
LANDO
Does everyone in this group chat hate me?
Oscar
I love you
Carlos
You´re okay
Kimi
I don’t love you sorryyy
I like you as my colleague. You´re cool
But I want to hear your question
Charles
I´m in for some pointless conversation
LANDO
You´re all so nice today
🖕
I don’t feel like asking my qeustion anymore
Franco
Fine with me
LANDO
Oh fuck you
Franco
🧡
Alex
Ask your question
Oscar
We want to hear what you want to ask
George Russell
I don’t.
Oscar
And we don’t care, so keep going @LANDO
Ollie
Shoot
LANDO
You really want to hear it?
Charles
Yes
Max
Stop behaving like a child and talk. Nobody will beg for you to ask your question
LANDO
You make me feel really welcome
Thank you @Max
🖕
Max
You know i cant find this fucking emoji
Lando
That’s why I use it
🖕
Oscar
Ask your question @LANDO
And don’t react to Max. He´s just provoking you
Max
If I find that damn emoji …
George Russell
I changed my mind. Ask @LANDO, so we´ll get this over with. Otherwise this will never end.
Oscar
In Landos defense, he just wanted to ask his question and everyone started making it a big deal. Maybe we would´ve been done by now
Max
Mister Smarty-Pants
LANDO
Okay, okay, because you´re all so eager to know and I don’t want my boyfriend to start beef with Max ...
btw, a very gentleman move of you @Oscar. You´re getting dessert later
Pierre
Nobody is eager to know
Arvid
ew
Ollie
ew
Carlos
We´re just here for the entertainment
Kimi
I do want to know
Liam
At this point I want to know too. Theres so much talk about this ominous question that I´m honestly expecting anything. Most likely something dumb, but I´m still intrigued
LANDO
If you had to adopt one of the rookies (lets say since 24) who would you adopt?
@Liam rude. My question is completely normal. You could call it a poll. Something for sience
Alex
Debatably
Max
I´m pretty sure science isn’t involved
Liam
Okay, I didn’t expect that
Arvid
Me neither?
Oscar
Did you come up with this because of our conversation?
Isack
omg
You want to adopt?
Kimi
OMG
Charles
Congrats
George Russell
Aren't you being a little hasty with this?
Last month Lando nearly had a panic attack when we talked about kids.
LANDO
First of all, I panicked because we talked about me being pregnant. That’s completely different than adopting.
Seconldy, we will not adopt so chill. Oscar and I just talked about maybe getting a pet but we don’t know yet. Having pets comes with responsibility and we´re on the road a lot so I don’t know if it’s a good idea
Arvid
It can work if you take care of your pets the right way
Max
Cats are nice
Charles
Dogs are better. Loyal, intelligent, fluffy
Max
Cats are way more independent. That’s better with a job like ours.
And besides they don’t pee everywhere
Like your apartment, in front of motorhomes, on the logo of other teams …
Charles
I heard other storys of these precious cats. I recall George telling me something yesterday
George Russell
Don’t know what you mean @Charles
@LANDO You and Oscar talked about pets and your next logical train of thought is which rookie you would adopt?
Max
We will talk about this again @Charles
LANDO
Yes
Got a problem with it?
George Russell
Fascinating…
Carlos
You sound like a therapist
Max
I think he has notes about some of you
Oscar
Notes as in …
Max
Facts and some interesting things like that
With that I mean Lando being a little weirdo
LANDO
Can we not
Max
Sorry, I take it back
I´m really interested somehow
LANDO
…
Thank you, George?
George Russell
Didn’t have anything to do with that. He´s learning all on his own. Like a child learning to walk. I´m very proud.
Max
Rude
But thank you
Kimi
I´m afraid to ask but is that some kind of kink?
George Russell
God no.
Kimi, what do you think of us?
Kimi
Sorry?
Alex
I mean Lando isn’t the only weirdo in this group chat so it wouldn’t be impossible
George Russell
Thanks, Albon. I´ll remember your nice words.
To get back to our topic, Max is actually interested.
He´s pacing through our flat. He always does this when he´s invested.
Max
Why are you suddenly turning on me?
George Russell
Lando has suffered enough.
Charles
You really care for him. Wow
LANDO
Back to my question for real this time
Who would you pick?
Kimi
We are talking about us? The rookies on the grid?
Liam
Ollie, Kimi, Arvid, Gabi, Isack, Franco and myself?
LANDO
Yes. The yuong ones
Arvid
As if you´re much older than us
Hulk
I do feel old around you sometimes
Kimi
Because you are older. Not like Lando
LANDO
Thank you?
Hulk
I will not comment on that. I´m old, so I´m wise and don’t have to go along with that
Gabi
Good choice, Mozão
Hulk
Thank you, Herzblatt♥️
Oscar
Have you thought about who you want to adopt @LANDO?
LANDO
A little but I want to hear your answers first
Charles
I need to think about that
Max
Some good options
Isack
He talks about us like we´re some kind of objects
Liam
We´re like different types of red bull he has to choose from
Kimi
I´m the original version then
Gabi
Can I participate too, even though I´m a rookie?
I still want to adopt
Hulk
Yes, we participate. I don’t care what they say
Carlos
Damn, hulk really wants those kids
Go for it
Arvid
Is this like in families where the father marries a much younger woman and you suddenly find yourself the same age as your stepmother?
Gabi
Yes! And don’t speak badly to your dear mother!
Liam
He´s already living his role as stepmother
Hulk
I think we should adopt Ollie
Ollie
Me?
Gabi
Why Ollie?
Hulk
You get along with him quite well. I want to adopt someone that fits in our family
Gabi
That’s a nice thought and you´re right. We´ll adopt Ollie
Oscar
You okay with getting adopted by gabico @Ollie?
Ollie
Sure, why not?
Hulk
A little more enthusiasm, son
Charles
Hahahaha
Alex
What a great family you´ll be
Kimi
I know who I want to adopt!
George Russell
Are you even in a relationship?
Kimi
No, but I can be a single father
George Russell
I don’t like the sound of that.
Kimi
No no, its okay
I´ll just adopt Nando.
George Russell
???
Max
Forgot he was one of the rookies
LANDO
Nando wasn’t an option?
Kimi
But he is a rookie so he deserves to get adopted by someone
Nando
That’s nice of you, kid
I would adopt you too
Oscar
Okay, so you two adopt each other?
George Russell
Don’t like it!!!
Alex
Because you wanted to adopt Kimi. That’s okay. You can still be his uncle
George Russell
Who wants to be the uncle?
No one.
Charles
Someone´s not happy with being the uncle
Max
Its okay. We´ll just adopt Kimi and Nando
George Russell
I cant have a child nearly ten years younger than us and another child over fifteen years older than us.
Max
No problem, schatje. We´ll make it work
Nando
I won't cause you any trouble
Kimi
Me neither
Alex
More children gone.
Isack, Liam, Arvid and Franco are left.
Isack
We're like the puppies who are left behind at these adoption events. Sad, alone and without a chance of ever being loved
Liam
I don’t want to be like a sad puppy
F1 Drivers 2026
08:46 PM
Arvid
No answer for 10 minutes is also an answer
Isack
What a way to make us feel loved
Liam
So we are the puppies …
Max
Fuck it
I´m adopting all of you
George Russell
No.
Max
Okay, I´m adopting Isack. That's non-negotiable.
Welcome in the Russtappen family!
George Russell
Three children are a lot.
Max
We can handle them.
Isack
I´m very easy to handle
Like totally easy
Handling me is the easiest thing you will do
Max
Handling him is the easiest thing you will do. You hear him?
Think of a sad puppy and a sad me
George Russell
Okay, okay.
You´re right, we can handle them. They´ll be good children.
Alex
Aww
Kimi
🩵
Nando
🩵
Isack
💙
Thank you for giving me a chance. I promise I wont let you down
Max
Never doubted you. You´re a good kid
George Russell
You are and I think you fit good in our family
Ollie
You good @Isack?
Liam
I think he´s having a nervous breakdown
Isack
Am not!
At least I´m adopted
Arvid
Wow. Thank you. Rub it in
LANDO
We´ll take you
Arvid
Me?
LANDO
Yes, you and Liam. You´ll be brothers
Arvid
Oh …
Oscar
Not good?
Pierre
I´ll adopt Franco
Franco
I don’t need to be adopted
I´m an adult …
yk?
Pierre
I don’t care, Yuki and I will adopt you
Alex
Are Yuki and you …
Charles
Congrats?
LANDO
What?
Pierre
Oh
No
I´m not in a relationship with Yuki
But in a reality where I can adopt Franco, the only person I'd do it with is Yuki
Carlos
Sounds about right
Charles
Ready for the work that comes with having a child?
LANDO
Especially a child like that
Franco
Well said, Boomer
LANDO
What???
I am not a Boomer!!!
You take that back, you insolent child!
Ground him @Pierre!!!
Pierre
That’s his way of expressing himself. Let him be
Alex
Oh no. You´re one of those gentle parents?
Pierre
What’s wrong with that?
George Russell
I know that I´m not going to gentle parent.
Our kids need to learn how to behave.
Alex
So we got lets his kid do everything and lets his kid do nothing
George Russell
No, they can do things, just in a Russtappen way.
Max
They have to be home by 10, no alcohol, no drugs, no unsafe sex and they should always listen to their fathers
Simple rules
Pierre
My rules wouldn’t be that different. I mean that’s the basics
George Russell
Teach your son some manners first.
Pierre
And your kids are all saints?
Max
Yes. Don't speak ill of our children!
Franco
I don’t want to be involved
Pierre
Too bad. You´re officially a Gasly now!
Liam
Another one adopted
Looks like we have to beg Landoscar to take us in
Oscar
We´d love to take you in.
You are both great
LANDO
Yeah, even though Arvid doesn’t seem to like the idea of us adopting him
Not happy with Oscar and me as your fathers?
Oscar
Sure, we have our flaws, but we´d try for you
Alex
I love how you advertise the landoscar family
Kimi
Every child would be happy with you two
LANDO
So you´d let yourself be adopted by Oscar and me?
Kimi
Okay, so in theory every child would be very happy. Like really happy. Just not me. My place is with George and Max.
Nothing against you
Oscar
Message is clear
Arvid
I´m okay with anyone adopting me
LANDO
No, you didn’t seem so sure. You have to feel secure
@Liam We will happily adopt you
Liam
Sure
LANDO
Nice. You´ll get your own room and I´ll buy you everything you want
Oscar
Don’t spoil him too much
LANDO
Why not? He´s our son now and he needs to live his best life
Liam
Doesn’t sound that bad
You´d buy me a yacht?
LANDO
Everything you want
Oscar
Okay, seriously, you cant spoil him that much. That ruins the character
Liam
No, you´re safe. You can buy me as much as you want and I will not change. Don’t worry
LANDO
See?
Oscar
That’s not how this works
And he is manipulating you. If I got a yacht, I'd tell you everything you want to hear too
LANDO
Okay, I see your point. We´ll talk through what he gets? Not everything, but he deserves some things
Right?
Oscar
Yes
Carlos
I like how you all have a concrete plan to raise the rookies
Gabi
You can´t go in this without one
Hulk
That is so true. You don’t want a little maniac as kid.
But I think we don’t have to worry with Ollie
Gabi
No. He will grow up and be a responsible adult
Ollie
Thanks?
Hulk
Although I have to point out that things will be a bit stricter in our household
Ollie
Can I change my adopted parents?
Charles
Nope. The hypothetical adoption papers are already signed
Ollie
Strict how?
Gabi
Nothing bad
Ollie
You agree with the strictness?
Gabi
Sure
Hulk
I don't think we're expecting anything unreasonable from you. Your room should be tidy, you should have good table manners, be punctual, obey your parents, and do reasonably well in school or at work. You don’t have to be the best but be good.
And of course, we love you, no matter what you're going through
Kimi
Okay, I´m happy with Max and George
Gabi
???
Max
He means we´re the better parents
Hulk
Let him live with you and we´ll see. At least Ollie will be a trustworthy, competent, attentive person
George Russell
And Kimi and Isack won’t? Is that what you´re saying?
Hulk
Maybe …
Make of it what you will
George Russell
That’s it. Nobody speaks of my children like that! Maybe they are loud and maybe they are chaotic, but they are mine! And they´re perfect like that!
Alex
I recall someone thinking this was dumb at first
George Russell
Shut your face @Alex
Max
I love you and our children
LANDO
Why does every conversation in this chat turn into a love confession from russtappen lately?
Kimi
I´m a little emotional rn
Charles
You will all be great parents. To the rookies, pets or actual children
Lewis H
I hope I don’t interrupt anything and can only agree with Charles
I'd also like to offer to hypothetically adopt Arvid
Arvid
Really?
Lewis H
Yes.
Arvid
Oh
Wow
Thank you
That would be nice
Liam
I want to be adopted by Lewis too
LANDO
That’s too bad
Oscar
We´ll care for you better than Lewis ever could
Liam
He´s a knight?
LANDO
Who cares?
Oscar
Don’t argue with your father and be happy that you´re part of the Landoscar family
Liam
…
I mean …
It could be worse
Oscar
That’s all?
Liam
I´m happy
Oscar
Thank you
Carlos
All children are adopted
Lance
None of this must ever become public, you do realize that?
LANDO
Chill @Lance
George Russell
Chill @Lance.
Lance
Isn't that kind of a double standard? @George Russell
Max
🖕
Copied it from our conversation
LANDO
Still haven’t found the emoji?
Max
NO! I still haven’t found the emoji!!!
Thank you very much
🖕
Isack
And we are the children?
sure