Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“So I had a great time tonight,” Sam said, breaking the silence that had fallen over him and Karen, his date, a few streets back.  They passed upscale shops and thrifty brownstones, Karen taking an oddly particular interest in the sights around her, even though Sam’s pretty sure she’s seen them all a thousand times before.  If he’d been counting the numbers right, they were only two buildings down from her house.  “I really enjoyed getting to know you.”

“Huh?  Oh, oh yeah, me too,” Karen said, focusing back on Sam.  “Dinner was great.”  She looked across the street again, at the group of boys who had gathered on one of the porch steps, playing their acoustic guitars, singing along, and laughing every now and then.  Sam wanted to reach forward and take her hand, but as the thought entered his head she put her hands in her shallow jean pockets.

Sam dug his hands into his pockets, too, leaning against the stair railings of the house that Karen indicted was her own.  “Do you, um, think you might want to do this again some time?  Like can I call you?”

Karen tucked her dark, curly hair behind her ear, turning her attention back to Sam.  Her hazel eyes glowed in the light of her porch light, her plump lips curling up in a smile.  She looked beautiful.  When Sam had asked her out, he’d been taking a chance, figuring she was out of his league.  She’d said yes, though, which Sam thought was probably a good side.

“How about I call you, okay?  Or text you or something?”  She grasped Sam’s bicep tightly, squeezing.  Sam jumped to attention.  That was the cue, right?  For the first date end-of the night-kiss?

He leaned down slowly, eyes flickering to her lips, wondering if she would let him kiss her, or if it was too soon, or -

“Goodnight, Sam,” Karen said suddenly, releasing her hold on Sam’s arm and moving quickly up the steps.  Sam watched her unlock the door; she looked back at him as she stepped inside, flashing him a toothy smile, but then she was gone.

Sam stood for a few more moments before sighing and turning back to walk the way he came from, searching for the subway stop a block away.  Karen really was gorgeous, and she was smart and funny and Sam just really hoped that maybe they could make something out of their relationship.  For once.

His phone buzzed in his pocket.  Got a bottle of wine and the first Avengers waiting for you at the apartment. You can tell me all about your date :) - Blaine.  Sam smiled and texted back a quick you’re the best before pocketing his phone and heading straight for the apartment he shared with his best friend.

“Hey, so what about your date? Has that girl called yet?”

Sam shook his head.  “Nope.  But it’s only been like, three days or something.  It’s whatever,” he tried to respond casually, hoping that his voice wouldn’t somehow give away the fact that he checked his phone at least every ten minutes when he was awake, hoping for a call, a text, an email, something.  At least he wasn’t looking at Blaine when he said it.

He really thought the date had gone well.  Damn it.

“She’ll call,” Blaine said softly behind him from his perch at the kitchen island.  “She’d be absurd not to.”

Sam snorted. “Absurd.”

“Hey, I know I have the vocabulary of someone from the ‘50s.  Sue me.  You’ve been my best friend for seven years, you should know this by now.”  Sam looked back at Blaine, who gave him a wide, cheesy grin.  His ‘you love me anyway’went unspoken.

“But really,” Blaine continued as Sam turned back to the stove.  “She’ll call.  You’re the nicest guy I know.  You’re always so sweet to the girls you go out with.  You’re one of the best boyfriends I’ve ever seen.  Why wouldn’t she call?”

Sam shrugged.  “That’s kind of just how it goes.  It worked in high school, but now that we’re older…I always think they’re enjoying themselves, but I never get a call back.”  Sam scraped the slices of toast out of the skillet and onto a plate, reaching up to the cabinet for powdered sugar and syrup.  “And it’s like every girl wants something different, something that’s not me, and I don’t know what to change so that they’ll want me.  I have no idea what they’re looking for.”

He sighed.  Reaching over to the coffee maker, he grabbed the cup sitting under the spout, spraying whipped cream from the can over the top.  Holding that in one hand and the plate of toast in the other, he carefully made his way to the island and set both in front of Blaine.

“Three full slices of french toast with cinnamon and powdered sugar, completely doused in syrup, and a breakfast roast coffee with caramel syrup and whipped cream for one Mr. Anderson.”

Blaine took a bite of french toast and moaned with pleasure.  Sam found himself focusing on Blaine’s mouth and the way it wrapped around the fork before he blinked and realized where he was staring.  “This is perfect.  Deliciously unhealthy, but so worth it.”

Sam smirked, grabbing his own slice of french toast and single egg over easy off of the counter.  “But hey, that’s what brunch Sundays are for, right?”

Blaine nodded.  “Thank you for cooking, by the way.  I’m making you something equally as fatty next week.”

Sam groaned.  Blaine was going to be the death of him.

“And, um,” Blaine continued after a few bites, “I have no idea what those girls want.  Girls are confusing.”  Sam definitely knew that.  “But I mean…I have Kurt, right, and Kurt is so great, he’s-“

“Hey now, brunch Sunday,” Sam interrupted before Blaine could continue.  Blaine cleared his throat.

“Yeah, anyway.  I have a boyfriend, but if I didn’t…I would kill to date someone like you.”

Sam completely ignored the sudden heat in his cheeks.  “Yeah, I kind of figured that out in high school,” he joked instead.  He barely even saw Blaine’s light shove coming.

“I don’tstill have a crush on you, dork. I’m in a committed relationship, thank you very much.  I was just saying.”  Sam could tell that Blaine was trying to ignore the blush on his own cheeks just as much.

“Don’t even lie, Blaine, you love me.”

“Nope.  Not a single bit.”  But Blaine’s eyes as he looked at his best friend betrayed him.

“Well, thank you anyway.”  He bumped his shoulder against Blaine’s.  “It really does mean a lot to me.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, finishing their breakfast.  Since Sam cooked, Blaine was supposed to do the dishes, but before he could gather up their plates a blonde, furry head popped up over the couch behind them and let out a whine.

“Aww, Teddy, are you finally up, sleepyhead?” Blaine cooed, moving the plates to the sink.  “Are you ready for your walk?”

Teddy bounded to the door, wagging his tail and letting his whole back side move with it.  Sam reached for the leash, quickly catching the dog so he could hook it onto his collar.

“I’d definitely say he’s ready.  We’d better hurry before he pees all over the floor like last week.”

Blaine abandoned the dishes, instead reaching for his jacket.  “Well then, onward, trusty steed!

“You know, I think I could just be a hermit.”

Blaine shook his head at Sam, trailing after Teddy who tugged the pair down the streets of New York, weaving between the passers-by who were steadily walking down the street.  The crowds were slightly more compacted than usual, everyone keeping their arms braced at their sides and walking closer to their companions thanks to the frigid late-fall wind.  “You can rock plaid, and you can rock a goatee, but there is no way you can rock a hermit beard.”

Sam pouted.  “Well, how about a bachelor?”

“You want to become my brother?” Blaine asked incredulously, his expression making Sam laugh.

“Sure!  It’ll be easy.  Sleep in all day, drink a lot of alcohol, go on dates every night, I could totally be like your brother.”

“Please don’t, I don’t think I can deal with more than one of him,” Blaine said, eyeing Sam.  As if noticing Blaine’s lack of attention on him, Teddy suddenly took the opportunity to race down the street, jerking Blaine along with him; Blaine dug his heels into the sidewalk as Teddy pulled, hoping to slow the dog down.

“No, it’ll be great!” Sam said.  “I’ll date the girls, and maybe, you know, get a little somethin’-somethin’,” he waggled his eyebrows, to which Blaine rolled his eyes, “but I’ll still have you, so I’ll be fine!”

Blaine paused as Teddy finally slowed down enough to check out a nearby light pole.  “What does that mean?”

Sam shifted on his feet, sticking his gloved hands into his pockets.  “Well, I mean, even right now, girls are awesome, but I don’t need them.  You’re my best friend, you know everything about me and I know everything about you and we know how each other works and stuff, so you’re really all I need.  Not girls that come and go.”

He bit the inside of his cheek.  He had been completely honest, just stating things he thought to be fact, but Blaine was staring at him, eyes wide and jaw slack, and he realized that what he’d said had come off a lot more serious than he’d intended.

But maybe he’d meant it.

“I-“

Just as Blaine was about to respond, Teddy took off, tearing Blaine from Sam’s gaze and reminding both of them that there were people surrounding them.  Sam chased after them, trying not to knock into any pedestrians, and found the two stopped at a baby stroller, Teddy sniffing the baby inside, Blaine talking to the young woman behind it.

“I am so sorry about my dog,” Blaine apologized.  “He gets a little…” The young woman smiled and shrugged him off, though she looked flustered by the sudden bombardment.

“No, it’s fine!  Kenzie loves dogs.”  True to her words, the baby inside the stroller giggled as she placed her hand on Teddy’s curious and wet nose.  Sam watched as Blaine actually saw the baby, not just the stroller, his eyes lighting up and his lips breaking out into a wide grin.  Sam swore he could see his heart melt.

“Oh, she’s precious!  Can I play with her?“ Blaine gestured toward the baby.  The woman nodded, and Blaine instantly kneeled down to the baby’s level.

“Blaine loves kids,” Sam said, moving closer to the woman as Blaine cooed to Kenzie and rattled one of her toys.  Her tiny hand grasped around the rattle, and Blaine’s smile grew even wider.  “He’s an actor, but I swear if he had a backup it would be some kind of teacher, like kindergarten or something.  Or music for little kids.”

“Do you think that’s what he’s going to wind up doing?” she asked.

Sam shook his head.  “No, he’s definitely going to be famous someday.  He’s…he’s incredible.  You should hear him sing.”

If they strained they could hear Blaine, already singing the ABCs to Kenzie as she giggled along.  Sam turned to the woman, holding out his hand.

“I’m Sam, by the way.”

“Rebecca,” she replied, shaking his hand with a smile.  Her other hand remained on the stroller; Sam noticed that she didn’t wear a ring.

“So is Kenzie yours?”

“Oh, no no no,” Rebecca said, trying to laugh off what Sam had implied.  “She’s my niece.  I moved to New York to be closer to my sister and help her out.  She’s got four kids, isn’t that crazy?”

Sam laughed in agreement, leaving out the fact that he thought he would love to have a houseful like that some day.  “So, um, are you single?”

“Yup.  I really only got here about a month ago, so I’ve kind of just been trying to get comfortable.  Haven’t had a whole lot of time to meet guys, you know?” she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she looked over to check on Kenzie, Teddy, and Blaine.  Kenzie was squealing in delight, Teddy attacking her face with ‘kisses’ as Blaine sat back and laughed.

“Well, maybe-“

“You and your boyfriend are really cute, by the way,” Rebecca continued, still smiling down at the trio.  Sam gaped, stumbling over his words and looking back and forth between Rebecca and Blaine.

“Wait, he’s not-“

“Sam, I think Teddy’s moved on to comic books, we gotta go!” Blaine called, suddenly being tugged up and away from Kenzie and towards the comic book store down the street by their over-energetic pet.  “It was really nice meeting you! Bye, Kenzie!” he shouted to Rebecca and Kenzie before he got swallowed by the New York City crowd.

“Yeah, it was nice meeting you,” Rebecca smiled at Sam, waving before she continued pushing the stroller down the street, leaving Sam behind.  He watches her walk away incredulously, before turning and following Blaine to the comic book store.

Not again.

“So,” Blaine coughed, still skimming the boxes of vintage comic books and carefully avoiding Sam’s gaze.  “Speaking of my bachelor brother.”

Sam looked up from his own box, a copy of X-Men between his fingers.  “Speaking of Cooper?”

“Yeah, he’s um…he’s getting married.  Again.”

“Wow.  What is this, the third time?” Sam asked.  Blaine nodded, pursed lips indicating he wasn’t exactly pleased.  “In like five years?  Dude, your brother is like the worst bachelor ever.”

“He’s going through a phase,” Blaine said, moving on to the shelves behind him.  “Some kind of, ‘I’m getting too old so I have to find the one even though I’m kind of grasping for straws instead of actually searching for true love’ thing.  I kind of feel sad for him.  Does that make me a bad brother?”

Sam shook his head.  “No, it just makes you a protective one.  You want your brother to have the best.”

Blaine smiled, glad Sam understood him, like he always did.  “He’s kind of the reason why I don’t want you to become a bachelor.  You’d probably wind up doing the exact same thing.”

Sam considered it.  “Well, I mean I know I fall in love too hard too fast, and I jump steps a lot-“ Blaine tried to disguise his laughter as coughing, which didn’t go unnoticed by Sam, “-shut up, you did it too, you’ve just been with the same person for forever- but I don’t want to get divorced, you know?  I want to know that the person I’m marrying is definitely someone I’m going to be with for the rest of my life.”

“Don’t we all,” Blaine mused.  “But you’re not like him.  And not that he’s bad, you’re just…different.”  He held up a comic out of the stacks and passed it over to Sam: Spider-man/Human Torch #3.  “How about this one?”

Sam grinned.  He’d had that comic when he was younger, but he’d had to sell it after his family lost their house so that he could buy Stacy a Barbie doll for her birthday.  “Dude, this is perfect!” he exclaimed, sticking it on top of the stack of comics he planned to buy.  Out of the corner of his eye he could see Blaine blushing.  To distract himself, Blaine looked around the corner, checking on Teddy.  Their dog was in a pen with the owner’s dog, trying to get the older St. Bernard to play with him by jumping on his stomach.  The other dog, thankfully, was very patient with Teddy. 

“But yeah, Cooper’s getting married, in like two weeks,” Blaine said, turning back to Sam.  “And, um.”  Blaine looked hopefully up at Sam through his lashes.  Sam narrowed his eyes, unsure of where Blaine was going, before it dawned on him.

“And you want me to go with you?”

Sam raised his eyebrows when Blaine nodded.  “Didn’t I go with you to the last one?  And the one before?”

“Yeah, so you know they’re not going to be awful!  I mean, the ceremony probably won’t be to either of our tastes because it’s Cooper and the girl he’s marrying who’s our freaking age, but there’ll be good food and cake and an open bar and please, Sam, please?”

Blaine didn’t have to beg, because Sam would always be more than happy to go with him, but he was still curious.  “So, why isn’t Kurt going again?”

Blaine closed his mouth with a snap, knowing that Sam already knew the answer.  “He’s got -“

“A work thing, yeah, right,” Sam finished, turning back to the comic books.  “It seems like he always does,” he said in a softer voice, almost hoping Blaine wouldn’t hear.  Blaine and Kurt’s relationship wasn’t exactly the best topic to talk about between Blaine and Sam, which is why it was supposed to be banned on brunch Sundays.

“He’s just…busy.  He’s working really hard, and he’s supposed to get promoted soon, and he’s really making a name for himself.  I’m proud of him.  It just sometimes means that he can’t be there for things like weddings or parties or whatever.  It’s fine.”  Sam bit his tongue, not wanting to push the topic further.

“So, will you go with me?” Blaine asked.  Sam turned around, a comic book in hand.

“Of course I will,” he answered, extending his hand with the comic book out to Blaine, holding the book open to the page he knew Blaine would love.  “Here.  Young Avengers #12.”

Blaine took the book, smiling down at the page where Billy and Teddy kissed for the very first time in the comic series.  Sam knew Blaine had always seen the couple as a source of inspiration.

“Thank you,” Blaine said softly, and Sam knew that all was forgiven.

“Ready to buy these and head out?” Sam suggested, already gathering up the comics he’d picked.

“Yup.  You ready for pizza and a movie?”  As Blaine got Teddy out of the pen and clipped on his leash, Sam snuck Blaine’s stack of comics under his own and walked over to the cashier.

“You know it.”

Chapter Text

“Will you stop fussing?” Cooper said, laughing as Blaine straightened his tie for the third time.  Blaine frowned at his older brother, who was already reaching up to tug the collar away from his neck.

“I’ll stop fussing if you stop fidgeting and messing up your tuxedo!  Don’t you want to look classy at the altar?”

“Classy? Sure, why not.  But not stuffy,” Cooper countered.  “Besides, I can totally pull of the slightly-messy-and-ruffled-but-still-totally-hot look and you know it.”  Blaine scowled, knowing his brother was right.  As much as he hated to admit it, Cooper’s (meticulously created) blown away hair and easy smile already made him look charming.  Cooper tugged down his tie even further, but Blaine slapped his hand away before he could unbutton his collar.  There had to be a line.

“Aren’t you nervous at all?” Blaine asked, instead turning to the mirror and fidgeting with his own suit.  He patted his pockets, checking for the ring.  After assuring himself that it was still safely in place, he moved on to straightening his handkerchief and flower on his tux jacket.  Out of the corner of his eye he could see Cooper watching in the mirror, an amused smile on his face.

“I’m fine,” Cooper said as Blaine dropped his hands to his sides.  “I’m pretty sure you took the brunt of all the wedding nerves.  Besides, it’s not like I haven’t had a lot of practice,” he winked.  Blaine rolled his eyes.

“Of course you have,” he mumbled to himself, abandoning his work on his jacket and moving over to the table where he left his phone.  Sam had been texting him since he’d arrived at the church, commenting on the decorations, on some of the guests, and ‘blaine. BLAINE. your aunt mildred’s hair.  i’m just saying.’ But at that moment, there were no new texts.  Sam would probably text him again in a few minutes, but he’d been hoping for at least something from Kurt, a good luck about the wedding, or even something about the party he was currently attending for Vogue.com.  Blaine pressed the sleep button on his phone and set it back down on the table.

Cooper sighed behind him.  “Look, I know you think I should be doing what you’re doing, settling down with the ‘love of my life’ or whatever.”  He actually put air quotes around ‘love of his life.’  Sometimes Blaine really did not understand his brother.  “And you know what?  I think I really am.  Amber is amazing and I love her.  We’re going to be good together.”  

He paused, giving Blaine the impression that he was trying to piece his words together carefully.  “We’re not you and Kurt.  We haven’t known each other for nine years, we’ve…experienced other relationships than just each other.  Obviously, for me.  But we’re two different people from you and Kurt, and I really think we’re going to work.  But just because I didn’t find her like you did doesn’t mean my feelings aren’t real.  You and I are different.  We find things and people, relationships, in different ways.” 

Blaine hesitated to respond.  “Are you sure you’re not rushing things?  That you just really want to be in love someone, so you’re somehow convincing yourself that…” He trailed off, not wanting to offend his brother, but also wanting to make his thoughts known.  “Never mind,” he finished quietly, ignoring Cooper’s pointed look.  It was a look that implied Cooper knew something Blaine didn’t, and that made Blaine slightly uncomfortable.

They fell silent then, both Andersons fixing the last touches on their tuxedos - Blaine meticulously straightening his, Cooper casually messing up his own.  Cooper opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again.

“You know,” he started, smoothing down his jacket, “I kind of always suspected that it would be you and Sam.”

Blaine paused in the middle of fiddling with his cufflink.  “Be me and Sam…what?”

“Ending up together,” Cooper continued casually, ignoring Blaine’s gawking.  “You suit each other.  You support each other.  You get each other.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile as hard as when you’re around him.”

“Except for the fact that he’s straight and I’m dating Kurt,” Blaine said, grasping for words.  Was this really coming out of Cooper’s mouth?  He had to be insane.  “Sam’s my - my best friend, yes, but he’s not - we’re not-“

“All I’m saying is,” Cooper interrupted, “I think there’s a reason he’s here with you tonight and Kurt’s not.  Even if you don’t think my wedding is that big of a deal, since I’ve already had two.  That Sam has also attended.”

As if on cue, Sam popped his head in the door, preventing Blaine from arguing any further.  “Hey guys!  It’s time!”

Cooper exhaled, a huge smile on his face.  “Showtime.  Coming, squirt?”

Blaine nodded, a grumbled, “Don’t call me that,” on his breath.  Cooper was already too far ahead to hear, but Sam laughed, grasping Blaine’s shoulder.  Blaine relaxed under the comforting warmth of his best friend’s hand.

“You’re gonna be a great best man, you know that, right?” Sam said in Blaine’s ear.  “I mean, you already have been like two times, but still.  You’re gonna rock this.”

Sam nodded to himself, squeezing Blaine’s shoulder before lowering his hand to the center of Blaine’s back.  Blaine shivered, though he wouldn’t admit it.  Even after all these years, he still loved how tactile Sam was.

“And hey, maybe third time’s the charm, right?”

Sam surveyed the room as he sipped on his second beer of the night.  As usual, the room was filled with family and famous friends, people that Cooper had networked with on his way to TV commercial fame.  He spotted a group of bridesmaids in purple dresses, giggling and probably already intoxicated with too much champagne, but they were already focused on a similar group of groomsmen across the room, each girl insisting one of their friends should make the first move.  The couple of the night was on the dance floor, all other wedding duties finished, and surprisingly (at least to Sam) they only had eyes for each other.

To his left, Blaine slammed down his third gin and tonic on the bar counter.  Out of the corner of his eye, Sam saw him gesture to the bartender for another.

“Wanna slow down there, champ?” Sam asked, turning away from the crowd and towards Blaine.  Blaine shot him a glare out of the corner of his eye, before accepting the glass from the bartender.

“You’re not my mom,” Blaine grumbled, making Sam laugh.  “It’s my brother’s third wedding, and probably not his last.  I’m allowed to drink, I’m an adult.”  He pouted as he took a sip.  Sam watched with an amused smile.  “And don’t call me champ, you sound like Cooper.”

Sam turned back to the aforementioned groom, Blaine turning with him.  Cooper and his bride were still smiling happily at each other, accepting congratulations from their guests.  “You know, maybe she’s not that bad.  Maybe they’re good for each other.  They look happy.”

Blaine contemplated Sam’s words. “He…Cooper, no, he needs to like, to have a best friend.  He needs to have a best friend, and fall in love with her.  That’s when he should get married.  Not…not this, they’re just gonna get divorced, they always do.”  He sighed, and Sam could tell he’d had one too many, though he wasn’t going to insist he stop.  He knew that would only end in a fight.

“So…you think you should marry your best friend?” Sam asked instead.

Blaine nodded matter-of-factly.  “Absolutely.”

Sam smirked at Blaine’s drunken words, nudging Blaine.  “I thought I was your best friend.”

Blaine turned to him with wide eyes.  “You are,” he insisted, as if Sam were crazy to assume anything else.  “You’re my best friend forever, Sammy!”

“So you think we should get married?”

Blaine’s jaw dropped, as if he just put together the implications of his words.  “N-no, I mean, it’s not that, I just - I’m supposed to marry Kurt!  I love Kurt, Sam, I’m so flattered but-“

Blaine stopped as Sam doubled over, laughter attracting attention from the people around them.  “Blaine, it’s cool.  I get it.  My heart will go on.”  Blaine rolled his eyes as Sam clutched his chest dramatically, laughter still spilling from his mouth.

“That’s not nice,” Blaine said, leaning back against the bar and taking another sip of champagne.  “I’m drunk.  That’s really not nice.”

“I’m sorry,” Sam said, quieting his laughter.  As he and Blaine looked back out into the crowd, he let his arm drape across the back of Blaine’s shoulders, resting on the bar behind them.  Blaine instinctively leaned into him, as he had so many times before.

“For the record, I’d totally marry you.”

Blaine’s mouth tipped up at the corner in a small smile.  “We’d be an awesome married couple.”  He leaned his head against Sam’s shoulder, Sam automatically resting his head on top of Blaine’s.

“You know, this isn’t helping,” Blaine said after a few moments, breaking the comfortable silence.  Sam lifted his head, looking down at the top of Blaine’s gelled hair.

“Helping what?”

“Normally there’s at least one girl staring at you across the room like you’re God.  You just don’t notice her because usually you’re staring at a different one the same way.  But tonight nobody’s looking at you like that.”  Blaine sighed, snuggling further into Sam.  “They all think you’re my date.”

Sam opened his mouth, unsure of what to say.  “I…okay.”  It’s not like it wasn’t a common occurrence.  And Sam didn’t care what people thought, as long as it wasn’t killing his game.  And tonight?  It looked like his game was so far dead that it didn’t even matter.

“We should dance,” he said instead.  Blaine looked up at him, setting down his champagne glass.

“Yeah?”

“What could it hurt?” Sam insisted, taking Blaine’s hand and pulling him along until they reached an open spot on the dance floor.  He immediately pulled Blaine into his arms, holding him in a dancer’s pose.  Blaine stood close, so close that they were pressed chest to chest.  Sam slowly led them in a circle, Blaine’s eyes closed as they swayed.  Sam pressed his cheek against Blaine’s hair, feeling Blaine press his nose into Sam’s neck.  Maybe it was that he was slightly tipsy, or that Blaine was a cuddly drunk, but Sam swore he could feel Blaine’s heartbeat where they were pressed together.  For a brief moment, he couldn’t imagine being without Blaine’s warmth.

Over Blaine’s shoulder, he caught Cooper’s eye.  Across the room, Cooper gave him a wink and a thumbs up.  Sam rolled his eyes before leaning in closer to Blaine.

Denials could wait until morning.

In true Cooper fashion, the reception had gone on almost all night.  The newly married couple had finally cleared out around three in the morning, leaving the wedding party, especially Blaine, to supervise the cleanup.  Sam had stayed around to help, eventually making a coffee run for both him and Blaine to help sober them up.  Instead of leaving, like everyone else had, they had chosen to sit on a bench at the park behind the reception hall and watch the sunrise, sitting close to conserve heat.

“So.”

“So?”

“I’m going to Paris.”

Sam tore his eyes away from the sunrise and focused solely on Blaine. “Paris?”  Blaine nodded.  “Wow.  When?”

“In about a week.  And we’re gonna be there for about three weeks.”

“We?”

“Kurt and me,” Blaine answered, taking a sip of his coffee.  “It’s going to be really nice.  We’ll get to see the Eiffel tower, and go to a lot of fancy French restaurants and stay in a beautiful hotel - “

“You want to do all that instead of…spending a lot of time in the hotel room?” Sam insinuated, waggling his eyebrows.  Blaine adorably scrunched up his face and hid behind his hand as he laughed.

“Well, yeah, I want to do, um…yeah, but he - Kurt has some work stuff.  Fashion week or something,” Blaine finally admitted.  Sam hid a knowing cough behind a sip of coffee.  “But it’s not that much,” Blaine continued, reading Sam’s thoughts before Sam even had to say them, “and we’ll get to spend plenty of time together.  I feel like we’ve kind of been distant from each other lately.  It’ll be a great time for us to reconnect.”

Sam let the subject drop, instead turning back to the sunrise.  Around them, birds chirped their morning songs, and the fish in the pond in front of them began to stir.  A gust of cold wind blew by, causing Blaine to pull his coat tighter around him and instinctively lean closer to Sam.  Sam shuffled closer, letting his arm drape across the back of the park bench.  

“Paris.”

“Paris,” Blaine repeated, nodding to himself.

“Paris sounds fun,” Sam said.  “Maybe not a place I would pick, but you’re going to have a good time.  It’s all artsy and stuff.  Right up your alley.”  He felt more than saw Blaine’s laughter through the movement in his shoulders where they were pressed against his arm.

“‘Artsy’,” Blaine scoffed.  “And just where would you go for a big vacation like this?”

“Somewhere on this continent for starters,” Sam answered immediately, even though he knew Blaine already knew.  They had talked about where they would travel if money were limitless, what their choice would be if they only had so many days to live, where they even wanted their honeymoons to be a few times before.  And for most of the scenarios, Sam had always pictured Blaine right there with him.  “California.  Or maybe Texas.”

“Texas,” Blaine groaned.  “What is there to do in Texas besides-“

“Barbecue, rodeos, NASCAR races, and country music,” Sam sighed dreamily.  He’d never actually been there, but he figured it would be a lot like Tennessee, where he grew up.  “We could get you some cowboy boots and go to the gay pride parade in Austin, and then I’ll sing you some Kenny Chesney.”

Blaine laughed as Sam painted the picture for him.  “Wait, I’m going too? When exactly is this?”

“When we get married, of course,” Sam winked.

“Oh, I wasn’t aware we were getting married, this is all so sudden!”

“What, you don’t remember from earlier?  You were drunk, I give you that, but you were all, ‘You gotta marry your best friend, Sam, you just gotta!’” Sam said, flopping over into Blaine’s lap.  Blaine groaned, pushing at Sam’s shoulder, but Sam didn’t relent. 

“That was a terrible imitation. I sound nothing like that,” Blaine said.  Sam laughed, knowing that Blaine was right.  He had a real, spot on impression of his best friend that he’d never shown him, but it was nowhere close to the way he had just acted.

Sam sighed, comfortable in Blaine’s warm lap.  He started humming an old Kenny Chesney tune, one he knew Blaine would recognize from listening to Sam try to learn it on the guitar they were younger, and drew out another groan from Blaine.  “Fine,” Sam said, conceding, “No Kenny for you.  You’re just gonna have to go to lame old Paris.”

“What a tragedy.”

“For three whole weeks.”

Blaine paused, letting his fingers push through Sam’s hair.  Sam closed his eyes in pleasure.  “You’re going to miss me, aren’t you?” Blaine asked.

“Nope. Teddy might, though, I’ll probably have to put up with him crying all that time, and - hey, no, don’t stop!” he whined as Blaine removed his hand from his hair.  

“Of course I’ll miss you,” Sam said once Blaine resumed stroking his hair, his voice quieter.  “Three weeks of an empty apartment, three brunch Sundays without you.”

“Don’t worry,” Blaine said, his voice just as soft, “I’ll be back before you know it.” 

Chapter Text

“Damn it!”

Sam threw down his controller as his character dropped dead on screen.  Mike grimaced in sympathy next to him, but continued to shoot at whatever he could.  It wasn’t like he and Mike hadn’t played as a team before.  Every time the five guys got together to play video games they had to face off via arm wrestling or rock paper scissors or some other game to see which four guys would play first.  Occasionally Blaine lost to Mike, usually in rock paper scissors, which meant Sam would pair with Mike while Puck and Finn paired up.  But it was never the same.  Years of playing together meant Sam knew every one of Blaine’s tactics, and vice versa, so they could always watch each other’s backs and not get eaten by zombies.

But Blaine had left for Paris the day before, so Sam was left with Mike.  And, well, Mike…

“Congrats,” Mike grumbled as a zombie bit into his character’s head, Puck and Finn whooping in the background for being the last team to survive.

“Yeah, suck it, Chang,” Puck said as he rose from the couch to get another beer.  “You too, Evans, but you’ve already got the lips for it.”

“Wow, never heard that one before in my entire life,” Sam deadpanned.  “Your jokes are getting stale, Puckerman.  I think it’s the old age.”

“Old age my ass,” Puck muttered, but didn’t argue any further.  Sam smirked behind his beer bottle.

Finn sank into the couch, groaning and scrubbing his hand over his eyes.  “Rachel wants me to be old.”  

“The hell does that mean?  Does she have like a fetish or something?” Puck asked.

“Dude, no!  That’s gross!”  Finn scrunched up his nose. “She wants me to act more mature or something.  I’m mature, right?”

The room fell silent.

“Whatever,” Finn pouted.  “But she wants me to like, work harder at my job and get more promotions and stuff.  And that makes sense, she wants me to have a bigger title or whatever, but…I’m comfortable where I’m at, with mostly just filing and running errands and stuff.  I feel like I’m good at this level, like I can do what’s expected of me and not disappoint my boss, and that I’m getting paid well for the work I do.  And if I get a promotion, then what if I can’t do all of that stuff?  What if I suck?”

“So don’t do it,” Sam suggested.  “Do what you like doing.  Do what you’re good at.”

Finn nodded, happy that someone got it.  “She wants me to be good at more things, but I’m happy where I am, so why should I change that?”

“It sounds to me like she wants you to be as successful as she is,” Mike said.  Rachel had recently landed a lead role in a new Off-Broadway musical adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, which also had a good chance of being taken to Broadway in the future (or, that’s what Sam heard from Blaine, anyway). 

“Maybe that’s it,” Finn said, thoughtful.  “But…I’m not her.  I’m not going to be a huge Broadway star or anywhere near that.  I want to be a teacher, and I can’t even be that yet.”

“But you’re still working on your teacher certification, right?” Sam asked.  Finn nodded.  He had been working to become a music teacher since he was in high school, but it was slow moving since Finn had needed to get a full time job after he’d moved to New York and married Rachel.  He had mostly been taking night classes for the past few years to complete his degree.

“Yeah, but until then it’s still just desk work at the office.  But I don’t hate what I’m doing.  It works until I can do what I really want to do, you know?”

“You need to tell Rachel that,” Mike said.

“I’ve tried, but it feels like she’s not listening to me.”

“Ah, the joys of married life,” Puck interjected.  “Glad I never have to deal with that.  Am I right, Sam?” He lifted his hand up for Sam to high five, but Sam only raised an eyebrow in response.

“You know I want to get married, right?  I’m just still looking for the right person and all?”

“Ha, yeah, that’s it,” Puck scoffed, sharing a look with the other guys.  Mike rolled his eyes at whatever Puck was implying that Sam didn’t understand; Finn just looked confused.  “Dude, you’re being lame.  Stop pouting over Blaine being gone and get with the program.”

“I’m not-“

“And you still gotta watch out for girls acting like this,” Puck said, cutting Sam off.  “Because they all do at some point.  Tina’s done it plenty of times, hasn’t she, Mike?”

Mike frowned.  “Yes, we’ve had some disagreements.  But we know how to work them out, and that’s what I was just about to tell Finn.”  Turning his back to Puck, he focused on Finn, who had downed his beer in Mike’s absence.  “You have to find a way to talk with her.  Set aside a time for you two to have a discussion about your feelings -” Puck gagged in the background “- and try to get both sides of the story.  Usually if Tina and I are arguing, we’ll try to make it kind of romantic, like a dinner date or maybe a bath together, to keep the mood calm and remind each other that we still love each other.”

Sam smiled, but said nothing.  He and Blaine did something similar, the very few times they fought.  They would block out anyone else, any texts or calls or anything, and…well, they wouldn’t take baths together, but they would order pizza and sit on the couch and talk until they reached a resolution, and then finished the night with a Marvel movie.  The look on Finn’s face told Sam that, for the entire time he and Rachel had been together, instigating a discussion like that had never occurred to him.

“Dude, that is genius! I could-“

“Great!” Puck cut Finn off before he could continue.  “Can you guys talk about that later and let us get back to the game?  I need to kick Sam’s ass at least one more time.”

“Puck, you’re totally just jealous because you don’t have anyone to talk things out with,” Sam jabbed as he picked up his controller.

“But I also don’t have anyone to get into the doghouse with in the first place.  And you don’t even get to say that shit until you’re married.  Now seriously, let’s get back to the video games before you start waxing poetic on me.”

The first Sunday without Blaine arrived, finding Sam at his own workplace on off hours.  Apparently his boss had decided it would be more efficient for someone to organize the misplaced CDs when the store was closed instead of during their slow work hours.  While Sam thought the idea was a little unusual, he had nothing to do since Blaine was in Paris and was also getting paid to come in, so he thought he might as well.

“Can I hang more of these throughout the store?”  Tina held up a poster in front of him.  Sam hadn’t actually looked at them yet, but two hours in and he was already bored out of his mind from inanely sorting old CDs, tapes, and records.  He’d jumped at the chance to invite his friends to hang out with him under the guise of Tina hanging up posters for her upcoming youth women’s rally.

“Sure,” Sam shrugged.  “I don’t see why not.”  Tina had already pinned a poster to the bulletin board, but there was plenty of boring white wall space that they had filled in the past with random posters and fliers for band gigs, so he figured she wouldn’t be doing any harm.

“Awesome,” Tina smiled and gathered up more posters in her arms, walking to the back of the store and leaving Sam with Mike, who was…well, Sam wasn’t sure what he was doing.

“Dude, you okay?” he asked, snapping Mike out of his reverie.  Mike dropped his arms to his sides, a little embarrassed at being caught.

“Yeah, I’m just practicing choreography for the showcase coming up,” Mike said, pulling an earbud out of his ear that Sam hadn’t noticed before.

“He’s got two duets and a whole dance to himself!” Tina bragged from the back of the store.  Sam laughed, looking at Mike’s humble smile.

“Awesome, dude!  Congrats!”

“Yeah, it’s…it’s pretty cool.  I think Tina might be more excited than even I am, though.”

“She’s proud of you,” Sam said.  “It’s really sweet.”

“It really is,” Mike smiled.  His eyes focused on the back of the store, and even though Sam knew Mike couldn’t see Tina, he could still how much he loved her through the look in his eyes.

“Do you think three is enough?” Tina asked as she returned to the front of the store.  Before he answered, Mike gave her a quick kiss on the nose, which made her giggle.

“I think three is perfect.”  

“You think people are going to come, right?” Tina asked, wrapping her arms around Mike’s waist and resting her head against his shoulder.  Sam observed silently, not wanting to intrude on what had become a private moment, but also appreciating their sweetness with each other.  It was a moment that really made him long for someone who he could share something similar with, to hold in his arms and comfort, to absentmindedly kiss, to love and support more than anything.

“People are definitely going to come.  Because it sounds amazing.  Because you make it sound amazing.  And because promoting female equality and anti-slut shaming in schools is really important, right?” Mike asked.  Tina nodded, and Sam got the feeling Mike had made this speech many times before.  

“Not to mention, the posters just look amazing, thanks to Sam,” Tina said, finally tearing her gaze from Mike’s.  Sam dropped the current CD he was holding onto the rack, surprised at the sudden attention on him.

“What?  Oh, uh, thanks!” he said, regaining his bearings.  He hoped they hadn’t caught him staring at them, but Tina’s face said otherwise  “Sorry, I just…you two are really good together.  That’s all.”

“Well, thank you,” Tina said, dropping her arms from Mike’s waist but still taking his hand.

“I really wish I had what you guys had,” Sam said, quieter, turning back to the CD rack and picking up a random CD.  Its place was further down the aisle, so he walked away, hoping the embarrassment of getting caught wouldn’t follow him.  Tina and Mike did trail after him, Mike picking up a misplaced tape and replacing it on the shelf opposite Sam’s.

“Are you dating anyone?” Tina asked hesitantly.  “Maybe getting serious with someone?”

“I’ve been dating a lot, but none of them seem to want to go past even two dates,” Sam answered.  “It’s not that I don’t want to get serious, I really do.  But I feel like I don’t know what they want, because they don’t seem to want me.”

He sighed, turning to lean back against the shelf.  “I’m not finding the right person, and it’s kind of frustrating, because most of my friends have that person, you know?  But they’ve also all known each other since high school, which is kind of weird when you think about it, but even in high school I couldn’t get a girl to stay with me for very long.”

There was a pause, where Tina and Mike seemed to exchange some kind of unspoken thought, leaving Sam in confusion.  Finally, Tina turned back to Sam; Mike had a wary look on his face.  “Sam, do you ever think-“

“Tina-“ Mike said in a warning tone.

“-That maybe that person could be right there in front of you and you’re not seeing it?” she finished in a rush before Mike could say anything further.  Sam blinked, still completely confused.

“What?”

“Tina,” Mike repeated, and that time Tina listened.

“I know, I know, I shouldn’t meddle in other people’s lives, I’m working on it I swear!” she reassured.  “I just had to say it okay but now I’m done.”

“Wait, I don’t understand,” Sam protested, but Tina shook her head.  Mike laughed, sympathizing with Sam’s confusion though he clearly knew something more than Sam did.  Tina stepped forward, placing her hands on Sam’s shoulders and looking him in the eye.

“You’ll find that person someday, Sam,” she said solidly, clear as day.  “Just give it time.”  She wrapped her arms around Sam in a hug, which he returned because at this point he felt like there was nothing else he could do.  “Now, our best friend is out of the country, which means we totally need to bond in these next two weeks.  Got it?”

Sam nodded as Tina dropped the hug, taking Mike’s hand.  “See you later, Sam!” Mike said, gathering up the rest of Tina’s posters as they left the shop.  Sam leaned against the shelf once again, wondering what the hell Tina had just been talking about.

Usually, by the end of Sunday nights, Blaine and Sam would be watching a movie, or playing video games, or singing together, or some other activity that perfectly topped off their day.  Without Blaine, Sam sat on the couch, Teddy curled up at his side where Blaine would usually sit.  The TV blared, but Sam had no idea what was playing.  He stroked Teddy’s fur absentmindedly as he sifted through his phone.

Over the week, Blaine had sent him a few picture messages, the international charges be damned.  There was one of the Notre Dame chapel, one of the Arc de Triomphe (which Sam recognized, but would never have known the name of if Blaine hadn’t attached it), and a few of interesting storefronts or items Blaine had spotted.  Blaine had yet to send one of the Eiffel tower, though he had told Sam he had a perfect view from his hotel room.  But Sam’s favorite was a selfie Blaine had sent of himself in front of a river that Sam was sure was a landmark of France, but he had no idea what the name was.  To him, the river didn’t matter.  Blaine’s bright smile stirred something inside of Sam, making him miss his best friend even more.  Despite what he had said before Blaine left, he found himself wondering what it would be like to be experiencing all of those sights with Blaine.

(He wouldn’t tell anyone, and he kept his friends safely away from his phone because of it, but that picture of Blaine was currently his lock screen.  Just until he returned from France and they could take a new picture together.)

Sam swiped his finger back and forth across his phone, thumb hovering over the ‘recent calls’ button.  He didn’t have to go completely without Blaine on Sundays, did he? He could call just to check in and -

His finger hit Blaine’s name before he could give it a second thought.

Blaine blinked his eyes open, confused at the darkness of his room save for the bright light hitting the ceiling and the shrill noise coming from…somewhere, accompanied with a rumbling noise.  Next to him, Kurt groaned sleepily, rolling away from Blaine and burying his head under his pillow.  He said something mostly unintelligible, but it sounded something like “Blaine, answer it, I swear to God.”

Answer…phone.  His phone.

On his bedside his phone continued to ring and vibrate, the brightness from the lit up screen penetrating the room.  He fumbled to grab the phone in his hand, squinting at the screen.  Blonde Chameleon.

“Hello?” he said after pressing the ‘answer’ button, scrubbing at his face and sitting up in bed.  Kurt let out another groan, but said nothing else.

“Hey, Blaine!  How’s Paris?”  Sam sounded wide awake on the other end of the line.  Blaine looked out the window, observing the starry sky and only somewhat lit city.

“Kind of dark and quiet right now.  It’s…” He reached over to his bedside table, turning the clock to face him.  “Sam, it’s 2:30 in the morning.”

“Oh God, I completely forgot about time zones.  I’m really sorry, dude.”

“No, it’s fine,” Blaine said quietly, lips lifting up into a small smile.  He still may be half asleep, but he really did miss his best friend’s voice and all of his quirks, including those that made him call Blaine in the middle of the night.  “Paris is pretty cool.  Kurt and I went to a nice restaurant for brunch today,” he continued hesitantly, trying not to wake up Kurt and also hoping not to upset Sam.  It was really nice getting to see Paris with his boyfriend, but having brunch on a Sunday with someone who wasn’t Sam just felt…weird.  “I ate snails.”

“Snails?”

“Yeah, and lots of fish eggs,” Blaine laughed.  “You’d hate them.”  Then again, Sam hated almost anything involving seafood.  Lake fish he could handle, especially those he caught and cooked himself (which were surprisingly good - at least, the one’s he’d served to Blaine had been).  But forget scallops, crab cakes, lobster, and especially French delicacies.

“I’ll take your word for it.”  Blaine could hear the ease in Sam’s voice and could almost picture the exact smile that would accompany his words.  Before he could respond, Kurt pulled the pillow off of his head.

“Blaine, it’s the middle of the night, can you maybe save this conversation for morning?”

“Yeah, sure, sorry babe,” Blaine answered hurriedly, covering up the phone with his hand.  “Go back to sleep.”  Kurt complied, tugging the pillow back over his head.  Blaine knew Kurt would hate himself for doing that in the morning.

He turned away from Kurt and back to the phone, dropping his hand from the mic.  “Hey, Sam, I’m sorry but it’s really late and-“

“Oh, yeah, yeah, I understand,” Sam responded quickly.  “Go get your beauty sleep.”

“I’ll call you in the morning, okay?  I promise.”

“Awesome.  I…I miss you.”

Blaine closed his eyes and smiled, even as a pang of longing reverberated through his chest.  “I miss you too.  Like a lot,” he said very quietly, hoping not to disturb Kurt.  “But it’s just two more weeks, okay?”

“Okay.  Teddy sends his love.”  In the background, Blaine heard a canine-like whine that must have been their puppy yawning.  He laughed.

“Tell him I love him too.  Goodnight, Chameleon.”

“Goodnight, Nightbird.”

“So yeah, then we moved back from Italy to New York…no wait, we lived in LA for a year, and then we came back to New York.  Anyway, Daddy bought me an apartment on the Upper East Side, near 72^nd Street, and I’ve been here ever since,” Annie finished with a platinum white smile, flipping her blonde hair back over her shoulder.  Sam blinked, already overloaded with information - or maybe he was just intimidated.  Her stories made her seem way out of his league, which he hadn’t expected when he’d first run into her at the coffee shop down the street from the music store.

One of Annie’s perfectly manicured hands came up to fiddle with the charm around her neck, a jeweled circle of some sort.  Sam leaned closer, his focus already pulled away from the previous conversation.  In the middle of the pendant was a diamond star, surrounded by two rings of colors, one red and one blue.

“I like your necklace,” Sam said, his heartbeat quickening as he realized what the necklace resembled.  Annie looked down at the charm, as if she had already forgotten what she was wearing.

“Oh, thanks.  My mom got it for me a few years ago for the Fourth of July.  I didn’t even know you were supposed to get gifts for that.”

“So do you like Captain America?” Sam asked.  But the blank look on Annie’s face made his heart drop to the floor before she could even open her mouth.

“Who?”

“You know…Captain America?  From the Avengers?  Super soldier?” Sam provided, hoping to ring a bell.  There’s no way she’d never heard of Cap, right?

“Oh, so like Batman?”

Sam plastered a fake smile on his face.  “Yeah.  Sure.  Like Batman.”

Dinner with Cate (“with a C’”) had been going slightly better.  Then again, no superheroes had been brought up so far.  Instead Cate talked mostly about her work, leaving Sam to listen attentively.  They had met through Tina at the young women’s shelter about a week ago when Sam dropped off another batch of posters.

“By the way, are you coming to Tina’s rally?”

Sam swallowed his bite of pasta quickly, surprised by the sudden question.  “Um, yeah, I was planning on it.”

“Great.  It’s going to be awesome.  The stupid fucks at PS #32 need to realize that their male students aren’t getting distracted by girls wearing shorts, the rule makers are just sexist bags of shit.”  Cate dropped her fork onto her plate, creating a loud clatter that made Sam flinch.

“Some men just want to watch the world burn,” he said on reflex, voice slipping into a well-practiced British accent.  Cate was cool, she seemed like the type who might recognize his impersonation…

The frown on her face told him otherwise.  “What?”

Sam coughed, shifting on his seat awkwardly.  “Batman?  Well, Alfred.  The Dark Knight?”

“Oh, yeah, I watched that in high school.  With Heath Ledger, right?”  Sam sighed in relief, but it was short lived.  “So you do impressions?  That’s, uh, charming.”  

The tone of her voice told Sam she found it anything but.

“Dude, I know Paris must be amazing and all.  But if you ever get a spare moment, can you call me?  I need dating advice.  Or at least to hear I’m not a complete loser.  And that there are people in this world who don’t assume Batman and Captain America are even remotely related.  So yeah, please call me, even if it’s like at five in the morning.  Teddy’s asleep, but he says he loves you.”

“Hey Sam, sorry I missed you.  You are not a loser.  That girl must just have different interests than you.  Which is totally okay, but it also definitely means she’s not the one for you.  Also, Cap totally beats Batman’s ass, but Iron Man wins over both of them.  Tell Teddy I love him too.”

“Damn, missed you again.  A, how dare you, Cap totally owns Iron Man, and B, Tina asked me for some song advice for this rally thing she’s doing, which is weird because I’m pretty sure the songs I like aren’t even close to what the rally is about, but I thought I’d ask you instead, since girl songs are kind of your specialty.  But yeah, call me so we can bounce off ideas.”

“Nope.  Iron Man is better.  Just accept it.  Is your song for that teen women’s rally she was telling us about?  Because if it’s that, you know Katy Perry is more my specialty than general girl songs, but I think Tina would have a heart attack if Katy was even suggested.  Maybe make an acoustic arrangement of a Beyonce song?  Oh, you should definitely call later, by the way, but not tonight because I’m apparently supposed to go to this party thing for Kurt’s job.  But I miss talking to you.”

“It’s later.  Like next day later.  So, tag.  You’re it.”

“Tag backs.  Did you find a song?”

“Yep, your suggestion was genius.  Like they always are.  …I miss you.”

“I miss you too.  And…I have something really important to tell you, and I can’t wait.  But I want to do it in person.”

“That’s cruel teasing, Blaine.”

Blaine sighed, listening to the phone pressed up against his ear ring as he dialed Sam.  At this point, he completely expected it to go straight to voicemail.  He already had his comeback ready.

“Hello?”

He jolted, surprised to hear a live response on the other end.  “Sam?”

“Hey, Blaine.”  He could hear some rustling on Sam’s end; Sam himself sounded a bit off, talking slower and deeper than normal.  “What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing really, I just…” Blaine bit his lip.  It felt good to finally hear Sam’s voice in something that wasn’t a voicemail.  “I couldn’t let this game of tag defeat me, you know?”

Sam chuckled on the other end of the line.  “Yeah, that was really dumb.  Stupid international calling and all that.”

“Yeah,” Blaine said.  “But only three more days, right?”

“Right.”  There was a comfortable pause.

“So what are you doing right now?  Having another fancy lunch?  Trying on all of the super expensive clothes just because you can?  Or sightseeing?”

“Actually, yeah, I am sightseeing,” Blaine answered, turning around.  In front of him stood the Eiffel Tower; he knew it was coming, it was the exact reason why he was standing in the square, but he had wanted to wait until he was talking to Sam to actually see it in all of its glory.  Even if it was just through voicemail.  “I’m right in front of the Eiffel Tower.”

“It took you two and a half weeks?”

“Shut up, we were busy.  And…I kind of wanted to see it with Kurt, but we just couldn’t find the time.  So he’s at some fitting or clothes showing or something, and I’m here.”

“What’s it like?”

“Tall.  Extremely tall.  I feel tiny.”  Sam snorted on the other end of the line.  “Tiny-er.  It’s not lit up right now because it’s the day time, but I know they light it up at night.  I can usually see it wherever I am.  But God, Sam, it’s enormous.  It looks like it’s poking the sky.  It looks the same as it does in pictures, but actually seeing it, god, it’s so much more powerful.  I can’t stop staring at it.”  He paused.  “I wish you could see it.”

Sam hummed in agreement.  “I wish I were there.”

“Three more days,” Blaine said quietly, Sam repeating him.  Blaine was looking at one of the unofficial wonders of the world, a sight he probably would never get to see again, but suddenly he just wanted to be back in New York City, in a boring Starbucks having coffee with his best friend.

“I should get back to sleep,” Sam sighed, interrupting Blaine’s thoughts.  “Tina’s rally thing is tonight and I’m supposed to play guitar.”

“Wait, back to sleep?  What time is it there?”

Sam paused.  “Not too early.  I’m just being lazy.   But I also went to bed really late last night, so I should catch up on some Z’s.”

“Oh,” Blaine said.  “Well, I’ll talk to you later?  At the very least, I’ll call before we get on the plane, but I’ll probably call earlier.”

“Sounds great.  Go eat snails on the Eiffel Tower for me.”

“Will do,” Blaine laughed, hanging up the phone and already missing Sam’s voice.

Sam set his cell phone back down on his bedside table, squinting at the clock.  4:32 A.M.  He rolled back over in his bed, Teddy huffing at his feet.  His still sleep-hazy mind replayed his and Blaine’s conversation back to him, lumping into a jumble of words and comforting voices as he drifted back off to sleep.

He pictured Blaine’s description of the Eiffel Tower, so tall and powerful that it could overwhelm both of them.  If he were there he would have tugged Blaine up to the very top, as high as they could go.  Blaine probably wouldn’t go that high by himself, but if it were the both of them it would have been an adventure.

His mind went back to their not-goodbyes, reminding Sam of the random thought he had tried to ignore as he’d hung up the phone, blaming it on his sleep-addled mind.  Just as he fell back asleep, the phrase repeated in his head.

Love you.

Chapter Text

Eyes still shut, Sam woke slowly to the feeling of wet skin being pressed to random spots on his face and a heavy body laying over his.

“Teddy, it’s way too early, leave me alone,” he groaned, swatting his hand at the intruder.  Instead his hand coming into contact with fur, it wrapped around gelled hair, causing the person above him to laugh.

“Teddy? Not sure whether I should be insulted or not.”

Sam’s eyes snapped open as he realized the body above him was not his dog’s, but his husband’s.  Blaine smiled down at him, eyes bright in contrast to the gloomy weather outside.

“You’re home already?” Sam asked.  “I thought you weren’t supposed to get here until tomorrow!”

“The showcase got cancelled, so they went ahead and said the performers could go home if they wanted.  Some of the other guys stayed so they could be total tourists, but it’s been way too long since I’ve seen you.  So I hopped on the first plane back.”

“Mmm, three whole days,” Sam agreed, running his hands up and down Blaine’s sides.  Blaine sat back a little on his heels so Sam could adjust himself into a sitting position on the couch, but wound his hands around Sam’s neck at the first opportunity.  The warm metal of his wedding ring grazed against Sam’s neck, making him smile.

Blaine leaned down so that he could press his forehead to Sam’s.  They stayed that way for a few moments, taking in each other’s bodies and heavy breathing and reacquainting themselves with their husband.

“I don’t think we’re ever going to get out of the honeymoon phase.  Not when I missed you this much,” Blaine said.

Sam laughed, kissing Blaine’s nose.  “I missed you so much,” he repeated, gripping Blaine’s hips and tilting his mouth upward.  Blaine got the message, dipping down to press a kiss to Sam’s lips.  Sam sighed, reveling in Blaine’s soft lips that he hadn’t felt in what felt like forever, before parting his lips and sucking on Blaine’s bottom lip gently.  Blaine whimpered before pulling away slightly, leaving their foreheads connected.  Their eyes stayed closed.

“I love you,” he whispered.  The words filled Sam’s heart, feeling so obvious and so right.  

“I love you, too.”

Sunlight blazed through the open curtains, seeping past Sam’s eyelids.  He felt wet skin on his face again, though this time it was more realistic and slobbery.  Instead of lips, it felt more like…tongue.

“Teddy,” he groaned, this time knowing for a fact that it was his dog.  He opened his eyes to see Teddy’s smiling, furry blond face.

Sam sat up, scrubbing his face and wincing at the sunlight streaming in through the window.  Teddy barked, alerting Sam that he would probably need to go to the bathroom soon, but Sam ignored him for the moment.

The dream remained heavy on his mind, the ending playing back to him over and over.  He had no idea what it meant, and he didn’t really want to think too hard about it yet.  He did know that he really needed to stop falling asleep in the middle of the night, because that was when he had the weirdest dreams.

“Have you ever had a really weird dream?”

“Define weird,” Tina said, hunched over the portable sound system she’d brought to the gym.  Sam had wondered out loud whether the gym came with its own sound system for basketball games or other events, but Tina stated that the venue owners hadn’t provided it for her, and besides, she was more comfortable with this one, since she’d used it so much.

Judging by the amount of time she’d already spent setting it up, Sam wasn’t so sure.

“Weird like…about a person that it shouldn’t be about in a situation you shouldn’t be in.”  Sam didn’t look up at Tina as he answered, instead flipping through his phone to see if Blaine had texted him.  Time zones still confused him, but he thought Blaine might be preparing to leave Paris soon.

“Like one of those dreams?”

Sam wasn’t sure what she meant.  “Um…sure?”

Tina gasped behind him, and Sam heard the thud of whatever cord she was holding hitting the ground.  “Oh my god, who about?” she asked as she ran over to stand in front of him.  Sam wasn’t sure he liked the look on her face; as much as he loved Tina, it was honestly kind of scaring him.  “You have to tell me!”

“I didn’t even say that I had one, it could-“

“But you implied it!”

“-be hypothetical for all you know!”

“Then why would you even ask?”

Sam paused.  She had a point.  “Fine.  But I can’t tell you.”

“Aww, Sammy,” Tina pouted.  Sam groaned, moving away from her to avoid her gaze and picking up the cord she’d dropped.  He knew nothing about sound systems beyond plugging in a guitar, but it couldn’t hurt to try, right?

“Was it about Rachel?”

“What the hell?” Sam asked, so shocked by Tina’s question that he lost the flimsy concentration that he’d had.  “No!”

Tina shrugged.  “Thought I’d ask.  I’m just trying to think of people who you shouldn’t be dreaming about.  Any of the multitudes of girls you’ve been dating are out, it would make sense for you to dream about at least one of them.”  Sam scowled, turning back to the console.

“Hmmm…Santana.”

“No.  Been there, done that in high school.  Don’t dream about her, it’s scary.”

“Noted.  God…what girls are you even friends with that you haven’t dated?”

“Thanks, Tina.”

“Hey, it just means you’re a romantic.  Oh my god, it wasn’t about me, was it?”

Sam blinked, shaking his head.  “Sorry to disappoint, but no.  That phase also passed in high school.”

Tina didn’t ask, even though Sam knew that she wanted to, but she very clearly had a smug look on her face.  Sam smiled; he didn’t really think of Tina in a romantic sense, especially since she was engaged to one of his other closest friends, but he could admit that she was, at the very least, attractive.

“So why shouldn’t you be dreaming about this person, anyway?  Is it because they’re taken, or…?”

Sam shrugged.  “I mean, they are taken, but I don’t think that’s really the reason?  It’s just that h- they’re not someone I would usually be attracted to.”

“Maybe you’re attracted to them but you just didn’t realize it,” Tina suggested.

“Like, unconciously?”

“Subconsciously,” she correctly gently.  Sam was grateful for the correction,b ut he still disagreed about the other part - he didn’t think he’d been attracted to Blaine without realizing…but he stopped, suddenly remembering his and Blaine’s constant closeness, how he’d never been that way with any other guy or even girl friend, and how empty he’d felt the past three weeks.

“I…I don’t think that’s it.  I’m just really close to them, and I shouldn’t be attracted to them, or dreaming about them, or-“

The look on Tina’s face, like a lightbulb had gone off in her brain, told Sam that he’d just said too much.

“Blaine?”

He winced.

“Oh my god, you had a sex dream about Blaine?!”

“Wait, what?  When did I ever say this was a sex dream?”

“You said it was one of those dreams!”

“I meant romantic!  A weirdly romantic dream!”

“That is so not what ‘those dreams’ means!”

“But I was so not thinking about having sex with Blaine!”

“But are you now?”

Sam stopped.  He was.  Damn it, Tina.  He shook his head to clear it, pushing any thoughts of kissing Blaine with significantly less clothing than he’d had on in the actual dream far from his mind.  “Can we focus?  On something like the fact that I had a dream where I was married to my best friend and have no idea what the fuck it means?”

“Dreams are usually compiled of stuff from your subconscious.  So you’re probably subconsciously in love with Blaine,” Tina stated matter-of-factly.  She reached down and grabbed the cable that had been resting stagnantly in Sam’s hand for the past couple of minutes, plugging it into a hole on the console, far from the one Sam had been eyeing.  The console blinked to life.

Sam gaped at her.  “I-no!  I am so not in love with Blaine!  I mean, I love him, he’s one of my best friends, but I’m not - I can’t be!”

“And why not?  The gentleman doth protest too much, methinks,” Tina quoted.  Sam groaned in exasperation.

“You’re way too comfortable with this idea.”

“And you’re too defensive.  Maybe I’m comfortable because it’s actually pretty obvious.”

“What?”  Sam’s eyes bugged out.  Tina just shrugged nonchalantly at him.  “He’s just my best friend.  He’s-“ Sam tried to grasp for more reasons why he couldn’t be in love with Blaine, but…

But he knew everything about Blaine.  He knew what made him laugh, what made him cry (and how much Sam himself wanted to punch anyone that made Blaine cry), what he needed when he was crying…

He knew how much he enjoyed being close to Blaine, touching Blaine, and how he’d felt like a part of him was missing  

And how his brain had decided to make up for that absence by presenting him with one of the strongest images possible.

“…He’s my best friend.  And he has a serious boyfriend.  And… I think I’m in love with him.”

“Think?”

“This is new information, I’m still processing.”

He dared a glance up at Tina’s face, unsure of what he would see.  Her expression was more serious than he’d expected now, almost bordering on pity.

“So…what are you going to do now?” she asked, taking a seat on the ground next to him.  Sam shook his head.

“What can I do?  He’s dating Kurt.  He loves Kurt.”  Tina scowled.  Though she was polite to Kurt when necessary, she had shown an outward disdain for Blaine and Kurt’s relationship since high school, mostly when Blaine wasn’t around.  (And though Sam showed no signs of it, he agreed in this moment, if only because he’d just realized that he was in love with his best friend and may have been a tad bit jealous.)  

“Well, just think about it,” Tina said instead of going off into a tangent about Blaine and Kurt like Sam expected her to.  “You’ve got a few options.  Love him from a distance and be kind of miserable because he’s got a boyfriend.  Try to woo him over with your nerdy charm, that could be easy.  It would definitely work if it weren’t for Kurt.”  Sam smiled to himself, mind going back to senior year and Blaine’s obvious crush on him.  “Or you could just tell him outright.  What have you got to lose?”

“Um, my entire relationship with him, especially our friendship if he rejects me?”

“True.”  Tina sighed, nudging her shoulder against Sam’s.  “Sammy, I can’t tell you what to do.  I can only tell you what I see.  And what I see is that you look at Blaine like he’s the center of your universe and you just didn’t realize it until now.  And it’s not a far cry to say that Blaine looks at you the same way,” she added, making Sam’s heart race for a second before he squashed the idea flat.  Getting up his hopes before thinking things through could only end in disaster.

Tina stood, brushing off her skirt before extending a hand to Sam and pulling him up off the ground.  “You’ve got to make the decision yourself.  But whatever it is, I’ll be here if you need a cheerleader or a shoulder to cry on or hopefully a party planner to celebrate you two getting together.  But-“

“-Let’s be realistic,” Sam finished.  They both smiled at each other before Sam engulfed her in a hug, resting his chin on the top of her head.  “Thanks, T.”

“Don’t thank me until we’re sure this doesn’t blow up in your face.”

“…Great vote of confidence.”

“Hey, I thought we were being realistic.”  She craned her head to look up at him.  “Have you processed enough yet?”

“I don’t know.  It feels like it should be too soon to say, but now that I’m actually thinking about it, it feels like, really obvious.”  He laughed at himself, but the sound came out more as air than anything else.  “It’s more like the physical things.  Sometimes I stare at him, at like, his mouth, or maybe his hands, or anything, and I don’t even realize I’m staring.  And when I do realize, I tell myself it’s just that my eyes landed there, I zoned out, it didn’t mean anything.  I’ve done that with some other guys, too.  But I also want to touch.  And I ignore that, because I have no idea where that thought comes from.  But it’s kinda like how I feel around most girls, so it’s just like… yeah.  And he’s just nothing like any friend I’ve ever had, and it’s just all the little things, so many things that were easy to ignore, but when you put them together…”

“It’s love.”

Sam nodded.  “I’m in love with him.  Really dumbly in love with him.”

Tina let out a sigh, snuggling closer to Sam.  “Well, you two would be perfect for each other.  I don’t think that’s dumb at all.”

Crash!

Sam winced as the stack of pots and pans fell to the floor.  Teddy barked loudly behind him, running forward and attempting to attack one of the smaller pans that was still spinning.  Leaning down, Sam pried the pan handle from Teddy’s teeth, setting the pan back up on the counter.

“Is that supposed to be a sign?” Sam muttered to himself, crouching on the floor to pick up the rest of the cookware, having to wrestle a few more handles from Teddy’s grip.  “Is this dinner a bad idea?”

Teddy barked again.

Sam sat back on his heels, running his hands through his hair roughly.  He knew it would make the blond strands stick up at random angles, but at the moment he didn’t care.  Teddy immediately began sniffing at his jeans, pausing to lick every few seconds.  Sam wasn’t sure whether the dog was trying to comfort him or was just curious about something he’d encountered hundreds of times before.

“We tell each other everything,” Sam said, hand raising to pet Teddy’s head and scratch behind his ears.  “It feels weird to keep this a secret from him, because he knows everything about me.  But if I tell him and it goes wrong…”

Sighing, Sam looked up at the counters he could see, observing the mess he’d already made.  Various half-cut vegetables were strewn across the counter, waiting to be put into a salad, if Sam could only focus on one task at a time instead of panicking and moving on to the next vegetable when he was only halfway done with the first.  A package of pasta sat unopened by the sink on top of the printed-out recipe.  Sam had never made risotto before, but he knew Italian was one of Blaine’s favorite cuisines.

“Screw it,” Sam said, rising up off the ground.  He grabbed the trash can from the pantry, setting it in the middle of the room before beginning to clear off the mess he made.  Blaine would never have to know he’d even thought up this stupid plan.

He didn’t get very far.  As soon as the first tomato hit the garbage can, Teddy began barking yet again.

“God, what?” Sam asked, turning to Teddy in exasperation.  Teddy stopped momentarily when he noticed that Sam’s attention was on him.

Sam hesitantly reached for the head of lettuce to his right.  Teddy barked.  Sam touched the lettuce.  Teddy raced forward, grabbing the hem of Sam’s teeth between his jeans and growling.

“Teddy!” Sam exclaimed, shaking his leg.  Teddy held fast.  “Bad dog!  Bad!”

Teddy pulled, dragging a shocked Sam with him.  He let go once Sam was back in front of the stove, the pot for cooking noodles directly to his right.

Sam blinked.  There was no way Teddy could really know…

“Should I cook the dinner, boy?”

Teddy barked, though now his jowls were turned up into a smile.

“The hell…?”  Sam shook his head, still a little confused, but grabbed the pot and began to fill it with water.  “Probably just hoping that he gets some human food,” he grumbled, even though there was a small smile on his face.

He cooked in silence for a few minutes, preparing the pasta to boil before turning back to the salad.  Teddy laid down to rest by the sink, his job complete.

“If this goes wrong I’m blaming you,” Sam told the dog as he tore apart pieces of lettuce and placed them in a bowl.  He could probably make Blaine’s favorite vinaigrette after he finished everything else; he thought he had enough ingredients.  He sighed, figuring that if he got no opportunity to tell Blaine his feelings, or if the moment felt off, he could at least pass the dinner off as a welcome-back-I-missed-the-shit-out of you meal.

Behind him on the island counter, his phone buzzed.  Sam dropped the rest of the lettuce in the bowl, dusting off his hands on his pants, before reaching for his cell.  Blaine Anderson calling.

“Hello?” Sam answered immediately.  He could hear muffled noises on the other end of the line, as if Blaine were in a public area.

“Hey!” Blaine said.  Sam smiled broadly; every time he’d heard Blaine’s voice over the past few weeks it felt like a small weight had been lifted, even more so now that he knew why.  “I’m at the airport!  We’re going to grab our luggage and then catch a cab home.”

Sam looked around at the disaster area that was their kitchen.  “Um…how long do you think that’ll take?”

“Well, it’s New York traffic, and I think we’re about to hit rush hour, so at least an hour?  Maybe more?  Why, not excited to see me?” Blaine teased.

“No, that’s definitely not the case.  I’ve just…got a surprise for you.  And it’s not ready yet.”

“Sam, you really don’t have to-“

“I want to,” Sam said.  Hearing Blaine, knowing he was home, was already making Sam’s heart race.  He had to at least try, right?

“Okay,” Blaine said, and Sam knew he already appreciated whatever surprise Sam was going to give him.  “I’ll take my sweet time getting home.  I’ll probably swing by Kurt’s, help him get his stuff back to his apartment, then I’ll come home, okay?”

“Great!  I…I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me too.  I’ve missed you like crazy,” Blaine admitted.  “Oh!  And I have something I really need to tell you, so this’ll be great!”

“Oh, right, your surprise thing!” Sam remembered.  “You’ll definitely have to tell me that when you get here.”

“Right.  So…an hour and half?”

“Hour and a half.”

They said their goodbyes, Sam almost not wanting to hang up.  When he heard the click on Blaine’s end of the line, he set his phone down and turned to Teddy.

“Come on, dude.  We’ve got some work to do.”

Sam knew he was staring.  He’d taken a few bites of his food, but not nearly as many as Blaine had; Blaine really seemed to love the tortellini Sam had finally concocted.  Instead, Sam’s eyes remained on Blaine, his fork resting on his plate more often than not.  It had only been three weeks, but not actually seeing Blaine had made some of his quirks go fuzzy in Sam’s memory - the meticulous way he ate his food so he didn’t get anything on his cheeks, how he tended to tilt his head down when he laughed or when he received a compliment.

Then there were the parts of Blaine that Sam hadn’t focused on before, at least not consciously.  His fingers tapped a beat against the table, long and probably warm and making Sam really want to hold them.  His eyelashes flared out around his eyes, highlighting their honey brown warmth.  His full, plush lips pulled into a smile, forcing Sam to practice some restraint to not just lean across the table and-

“Do I have something on my face?” 

“What?” Sam asked, startled out of his thoughts.  Blaine was already wiping at his face with a napkin.  “No, no, you’re…you’re perfect.”

Blaine froze, napkin still pressed to his cheek.  “Oh…thank you?” he said as he lowered the napkin to the table slowly.  Sam inwardly kicked himself.  Way to be obvious and weird.

“I mean, y-you look…perfect.  Your clothes.  Paris clothes?”

“Oh, yeah,” Blaine said, looking down at his new attire.  “I mean, we were kind of there for a fashion thing, so we got a bunch of clothes to take with us.  Kurt was in heaven.”  He smoothed down his fitted blazer, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt.  Sam thought the clothes definitely flattered him, highlighting his face and incredible body in the best ways, but something still felt off.  It didn’t quite feel like…Blaine.

“And I mean, I’ve missed seeing you, too,” Sam admitted.  “I’m just making sure you didn’t turn into an alien or something while you were gone.”  Blaine laughed, covering up his slight blush.

“I’ve missed you too,” Blaine said.  “You know I have.  And I’m glad you didn’t go and chop off your hair or get like a million earrings while I was gone.”

“Hey, I could totally pull off the Teddy Altman look if I wanted,” Sam said, pulling another laugh from Blaine.  Teddy perked up from his spot on the couch momentarily, hearing his namesake, but settled back down when he realized they weren’t talking about him.

Blaine took another bite of his tortellini, groaning pleasurably at the taste.  Sam gulped, subtly lowering his hand to his lap, over the napkin that was already conveniently covering it.  Stop that, you’re not a horny teenager anymore.  “Sam, this is amazing.  Where did you learn to make this?”

“I honestly have no idea how I managed it.  I just grabbed a recipe off the internet because I know you love Italian, and it just kind of happened.  Teddy did help, so maybe that was it.”

“Oh, well of course.  Give Teddy my thanks.  This is one of the best welcome back gifts I’ve ever gotten.”  Blaine winked before taking a sip from his glass of wine, which he’d somehow managed to bring back from Paris.  Sam’s heart stuttered for a minute, then did it again as his and Blaine’s knees brushed.  He didn’t know whether that was deliberate on Blaine’s part or not.

The moment fell silent, and while it was comfortable, something inside Sam told him - perfect moment.  Go for it.  He set down his fork and took a huge breath, steeling himself.

“So…I need to talk to you about something.”

Blaine’s eyes widened as he quickly sat down his glass and gulped down his sip of wine.  “Right!  I forgot for a moment.  But can I go first?”

Sam stopped short.  He just got up the nerve, he didn’t want to lose it, but it would probably be better to get Blaine’s thing out of the way before he admitted his feelings, so that there wouldn’t be the chance of Blaine forgetting about his news after.  Blaine had hyped it up too much for that.

“Um…sure.”

“Okay,” Blaine smiled excitedly.  “So…okay, there’s kind of a story that goes with it.  Basically there was a day where Kurt was working, I think he was at a conference with some people from Paris Vogue?  Anyway, it doesn’t really matter, I was just on my own.  And I’m walking down the streets, trying to see if there are any shops I want to go in to pass the time, and I turn the corner and there’s a huge Verragio store, you know, like the jewelry store?  It’s right in front of me, and I look in one of the windows and there’s this ring.”

Sam’s heart stopped.

“It was platinum with this beautiful diamond design and it just spoke to me, you know?  It’s like it was saying ‘this is the perfect time, take a chance…’”

Sam tried to tune him out while still appearing to pay attention.  He couldn’t sit there and listen to this, not when Blaine described his moment so much like how Sam had felt seconds ago, ready to spill his heart out.  He couldn’t listen to how they went to a fancy restaurant that night, how there were violins playing and candlelit dinners and all of that crap when it felt like his lungs had stopped working properly.

“…And I pulled out the box and he nearly started crying and he said yes before I could even ask the question.”

This.  Wasn’t.  Happening.

“Sammy, I’m engaged!”

“Enga- wow!  Wow.  That’s…” Sam felt like he couldn’t form words; he didn’t want to form words, really, he just wanted to get out of there ASAP so he could maybe at least get a breath of fresh air and clear the buzzing in his brain.  Instead, he downed the rest of his glass of wine, slamming it down on the table and rising quickly to grab the bottle to pour another.

That’s what you get, dumbass.  Nothing works out for you.  Not even your best friend.  You should know that by now.

“We should toast or something, right?” He asked, allowing himself to cringe since his back was turned.  “To celebrate, or whatever.”

“That sounds great,” Blaine answered.  Sam finished pouring the glasses, subtly filling his with way more than necessary.  He took a huge gulp of his before walking back to the table.

“To…to getting engaged, right?” He asked tentatively, raising his glass.

“To love,” Blaine answered, clinking his glass with Sam’s.

“To love,” Sam echoed, eyes locking with Blaine’s.  To love, indeed.  Fuck everything.

Blaine took a sip, savoring the taste, before setting his glass down on the table.  Sam took another sip in return, once again a little larger than necessary.  He could pretend that the slightly bitter taste going down kept him grounded.

“There’s one more thing I need to talk to you about,” Blaine said.  Sam took a deep breath; surely whatever Blaine was about to tell him couldn’t be any worse than his previous announcement.

“I know Cooper’s my brother and all, and I know he’s probably kind of expecting me to ask him, since I’ve already, you know, been in three of his weddings, but…” Sam stood corrected.  Maybe it could be worse.  “You’re my best friend.  You’re one of the most important people in my life.  And honestly I feel a lot closer to you than I do to Cooper, which is probably kind of weird but it just is how it is, right?”

Sam nodded, lips pressed together tensely.

“So, Sam, will you be my best man?” Blaine asked, eyes wide and hopeful.  If Sam could have, he would have groaned and hit his head on the table.  But that would mean he would have to explain why to Blaine, which wasn’t happening any time soon.  Or ever.

“Of course,” he answered instead.  “I’d love to.  I’ll be…I’ll be the best best man ever.”

“Thank you,” Blaine said with a smile.  Sam felt his heart warm all over again, despite all of the shit that had just happened, and he cursed himself.  “It means so much to me.”

“Well, you’re my best friend, so how could I say no, right?” Sam said, downing another glass of wine.

Chapter Text

“Engaged!?”

“Yup,” Sam groaned.  “Perfect ring, perfect restaurant, perfect timing, perfect everything.  It’s all so perfect.”

“Gag me,” Tina said, pointing her finger to her mouth in a gagging motion.  Sam laughed, even though he knew he probably shouldn’t.  Sometimes Tina just got him.

“And that’s not even the best part.  Guess who’s the best man?”

Tina’s eyes widened comically, her mouth open in a gasp.  “No.”  Sam nodded bitterly.

“I mean, are you really surprised?” Mike said to Tina, placing a record back in its place.  He and Tina had stopped in at the music store on Sam’s lunch break at Sam’s request - well, Sam had actually just asked Tina, but she brought Mike along and Sam had no complaints.  “They’ve been attached at the hip since high school.  Blaine doesn’t even live with Kurt, he lives with Sam.  It was kind of a no brainer.”

“Well, yeah, but it’s still gotta suck,” Tina countered.  She threw Sam a pitying look, which he accepted for the moment.  Today was his self-pity party.  He could buck up tomorrow.  “Why did you even say yes, anyway?”

“Because it’s Blaine,” Sam said.  “Because he looked at me with those eyes and it’s just like, how could I say no?”  Tina nodded in understanding, throwing a knowing glance back at a very confused Mike.  He looked between the two leaning against the counter as if he were trying to piece together a puzzle, before letting out a long oooooh.

“He figured it out?” He asked Tina, who nodded again.

“Yup, just last week.  Our Sammy’s all grown up.”

“Wait,” Sam interjected.  “Mike knows?”

“Well, now he does,” Tina said.

“And is this one of those things where everyone knew I was in love with Blaine except for me?”

Tina and Mike nodded in tandem.  Sam groaned.

“Why didn’t you guys tell me?”

“Pretty sure you wouldn’t have believed us until you figured it out for yourself,” Mike said.  He had a point.

“So what are you going to do now?” Tina asked, hopping up on the counter.  Sam shrugged.  

“What can I do?  It’s kind of over, isn’t it?  I’ll just be his best friend.  Like usual.  I’ll support him, and he’ll get married, and we’ll still be best friends, and nothing’s going to get messed up.  It’ll be fine.”

“But you won’t be happy.”

Sam shook his head.  “Look, Blaine’s wanted this since high school.  Since before he even met me.  Remember when he nearly freaking proposed and he hadn’t even graduated?  He got quieter about it after then, since he and Kurt got back together without them even getting engaged, but he’s been waiting for years, just for the right moment.  Me telling him now would just ruin it for him and make everything awkward, and I’m not about to be that friend.  I’m not going to be that person.  He loves Kurt.  He’s marrying Kurt.  That’s it.”

He grabbed a stack of CDs roughly, filing through them.  All choices that customers had decided they didn’t want at the last minute, and with good reason.  In Sam’s humble opinion, all of these artists sucked.  He walked to the back of the shelf, aiming to put the CDs back on some of the more hidden shelves, where they belonged.

Tina and Mike were whispering at the front, where Sam left them.  He could hear the percussive sounds from the rougher consonants, the hisses from the S’s that they voiced, but he couldn’t make out any intelligible words.  The quiet of the back, only interrupted by the soft music playing through the shop’s speakers, didn’t last long, as Tina came not-so-subtly walking through the shelves, her heels clicking on the tile.

“Sam…”

“Just forget it, Tina.”

“No.  I’m not going to sit here and watch you make yourself miserable when you and Blaine both deserve to be happy.”

“And you don’t think he is happy?  He’s engaged to the love of his life,” Sam said with a scowl, setting down the last of the CDs with a clang as he turned to face Tina.  Her mouth was already open, ready to retort, but he cut her off.  “No, wait, forget I asked.  I know you don’t like their relationship, but Blaine does.  And that’s not changing.  And I’m seriously not about to make things awful for us by either telling him I love him and him rejecting me and me having to be the awkward best man, if he doesn’t kick me out of the wedding, or me telling him and then him feeling torn between me and Kurt.  Because he will hate that.”

He turned back to the shelf, switching some of the CDs around to make it look like he was organizing them, though in reality he was messing them up even more.  Tina didn’t get the hint; instead, she leaned back against the shelf next to him.

“I just…I get what you’re saying.  And I know you can predict what will happen in your and Blaine’s relationship way better than I could, but…I don’t know.  I feel like you just lying down and taking it would be wrong.”  Sam shrugged, about to respond that that was just the way it was, but Tina continued.  “And I have an idea.  Will you at least hear me out?”

“Sure.  Whatever.”

“What if you let him make the choice for himself?  Or came up with the idea for himself or something?”

“What does that even mean?”

“Like,” Tina stood up straight, beginning to pace.  Sam turned to watch, slightly intrigued although at the moment he was thoroughly confused, “what if instead of outright telling him you love him, you show him?  And he figures it out for himself, and then there’s less expectations and more freedom?  And then he makes his own choice without feeling like you expect anything from him, so if it’s no it’s not awkward and if it’s yes then it’s awesome!”  Tina took a deep breath, excitement in her eyes.  Sam stared at her warily.

“And how exactly would I do that?”

“Just…be the absolute best friend you can be, I guess.  Show him that you’re better.  And then go above and beyond that.  Oh!  Like when you’re being his best man!”

“Tina…I don’t know…”

“Sam.”  Sam’s eyes snapped up to Tina’s at the firmness in her voice.  “I really think this is something that might work.  And you’ll have plenty of time to work on it during the engagement, planning a wedding takes at least six months to a year.  Trust me, Mike and I know.”   It had been at least two years since Tina and Mike had gotten engaged, with a wedding only vaguely in sight.  

“And Sam?  If you never try, the answer will never be yes.”

Sam sighed, chewing on his inner cheek.  He knew she was right, he was just…scared.

“You just don’t want him to say no,” Tina said quietly, voicing Sam’s thoughts.  He nodded.  “Sam, he - he loves you, okay.  In some way.  He just doesn’t think about it because he loves Kurt.  Just like you.  But he loved you in high school, and-“

“He didn’t love me, it was just a crush, and I’m pretty sure he’s long over that.”

Tina stepped forward, running her hands up and down Sam’s arms comfortingly.  Sam was fully aware that Mike was still at the front of the shop, but he couldn’t help but slacken into her touch.  He really did like how touchy-feely they got occasionally, just like how he liked touching and being touched by Blaine (though for two completely different reasons). 

“Where’s the Sam Evans I used to know?” Tina asked.  “The one who would fight as hard as he could for love, and could barely take no for an answer?”

“I’m pretty sure he disappeared somewhere around the seventh breakup or so,” Sam said with a bitter laugh.  Tina clucked her tongue, and Sam tried not to laugh harder at how motherly she sounded in the moment.

“But this isn’t just a random girl anymore.  This is Blaine.  This is your best friend in the whole world, the person you’re head over heels in love with.  And isn’t he worth it?  Isn’t the possibility of spending the rest of your life with him, of being the one to walk down the aisle with him instead, worth it?”

Sam’s heart began fluttering again weakly at just the images; standing on the right side of Blaine at the altar, buying a house and adopting at least three more pets and having childrenwith him…

“Yeah.  It is.”

“So you’re going to try?”

“I’m going to try,” Sam affirmed.  Tina squealed, throwing her arms around him.  Sam’s back pressed against the shelves behind him from her force, laughter coming from the deepest parts of his chest.  “But I’m going to need your help.  Moral support and all that.”

“I’m going to be with you every step of the way.  If I have to bully my way into being a groomswoman, I’ll do it,” Tina said, arms still squeezing the air out of Sam.  He adjusted her more comfortably, hugging her just as tight.

“Better not tell Mike about you hugging me like this,” he joked.

“Mike will understand.”

“Mike is right here,” Mike piped up next to them, catching both Sam and Tina by surprise.  Tina unlaced her arms from Sam’s, instead looping her arm around Mike’s waist.

“I loooove you,” she cooed, making her fiancé laugh and give her a sweet kiss.  Sam smiled, the image of him and Blaine doing the same thing someday appearing on its own.

Tina checked her phone for the time, eyebrows raising up for a second in surprise.  “Shit, we’d better get back to work!  Sam, call me and we can come up with a strategy or something!”  She waved as Mike ushered her out the door, throwing his own wave behind him as the door shut with a jingle.

Sam smiled to himself, returning to the counter.  Operation: Best Best Man was apparently in effect.

In the entire twenty-five years of his life, Sam didn’t think that he had ever been to a restaurant this fancy.  Upscale.  Whatever.  He awkwardly adjusted his tie, pulling it slightly looser around his neck.  A string quartet played in the background.  People in suits and expensive dresses and loads of jewelry murmured and clinked their glasses together.  Sam would probably be the one to trip and fall on his face or knock over a waiter. 

Great.

“Here’s your table,” the hostess said sweetly, in a tone that tells Sam maybe she secretly hates her job and has been working for five hours straight but the money is way too good to pass it up.  He breathed in relief, seeing a large, round table set for over ten people in front of him, half of the party already there.  Blaine rose from his seat with a bright smile on his face.

“Hey, you!” he said, tugging Sam in for a full-bodied hug, squeezing his arms around Sam tightly.  Sam subtly leaned his face against Blaine’s neck, inhaling his cologne.  Blaine had tried out something new for the occasion, a sharper scent that drew more attention.  Sam liked it, though he preferred Blaine’s usual cologne simply because it was so him.

“You look so good, I love this shirt!” Blaine commented as he pulled back, running his arms up and down Sam’s sleeves.  Sam flexed his biceps ever so slightly.

“You bought it for me,” he pointed out, leaning in towards Blaine, whose eyes widened in recognition.

“I have good taste,” he winked.  “Come on, sit down!”  His hand fell to Sam’s wrist as he gently pulled him over to the table and into a chair next to his own.  Sam finally took in the familiar faces at the table, nodding in turn to Cooper, Mike, Tina, and Artie.

“Artie!  Finally finished shooting - uh, what was it?”

“Heaven on the Prairie,” Artie answered, and Sam thought he could detect a grimace on his face.  “It’s definitely good to be here instead of there.  Getting credits for a resume is great, but I’ve had just about enough of Kansas for one lifetime.  You’d think we could have shot on a green screen in L.A., but…” Artie shook his head, muttering something about hipster producers.  “I’m definitely hoping to get into something with a more techno-robotic theme for my next project.  I already have a screenplay in mind.”

“Whenever you get it written, call me,” Cooper piped in.  “I’ll probably need the distraction from the missus or ex-missus anyway.”

“Cooper!”

“I’m kidding, baby bro!”

“You better be,” Blaine said, glowering at Cooper behind his wine glass.  Cooper threw back his head and laughed, the sound ringing throughout the restaurant and turning more than a few heads; Blaine only looked over at Sam exasperatedly.  Sam gave him a pitying smile, reaching over and squeezing his shoulder.

At that moment, the waitress approached their table, asking if they were ready to order.  Blaine asked for a round of water, but otherwise excused her since they were still waiting on Kurt’s half of the wedding party.  As soon as she left, Blaine cleared his throat and sat up straighter in his chair.

“Okay!” he announced, putting on his ‘public speaker’ tone that Sam remembered well from his presidency days in high school.  “I really want to thank you all for agreeing to be my groomsmen,” Tina coughed, causing the whole table to laugh, “and groomswomen, thank you Tina.  I appreciate you being willing to support me and Kurt through this joining of our lives, and any other help you might give during the wedding planning-“

“Holy cheesy speech, Batman,” Artie interrupted.  “Blaine, you’re our friend.  We love you.”  Sam nodded in agreement.  “Of course we’re here for you.  And you would do the same for us.”

Blaine smiled sheepishly, settling back down in his chair.

“By the way, what are we supposed to do for the wedding?” Cooper asked.  “I mean, I’ve kind of always been on the groom side, not the groomsmen.  You’re the pro at it.”

“…Thanks?  And really, you don’t have to do much.  I think Rachel’s handling most of the wedding party planning, since she’s Kurt’s maiden of honor.  But we might need some extra help with picking up and placing decorations or something like that, because the wedding is in two months.”

Two months?!  Sam’s heart dropped.  That meant he only had two months to convince Blaine to be with him instead.  He looked around the table; everyone had similar worried expressions on his face, but none so much as Tina and Mike.

“Why?”

“It’s a surprise.  I think Kurt wants to tell.”

“Boy, you better work fast,” he heard Tina mumble, and he very clearly knew her double entendre, even if the rest of the table didn’t.

“So, decorations.  Are we also supposed to throw, like, groomsmen showers, or what?” Artie asked.  “How is it supposed to go with a same-sex wedding, anyway?”

“There’s-“ Blaine began, but was cut off by his cellphone ringing.  He tugged it out of his pocket, peering at the screen, before glancing back up at the table.  “Sorry, this is Kurt.  I have to take this, he should be getting here soon.”  He stood and walked to the exit, inching his way through tables full of people; Sam watched him leave, but when he turned back around, all eyes were on him.

“So what are we supposed to do?  Besides decorations,” Mike asked.  Sam shrugged.

“I mean honestly, not much.  You get a tux, you go to the bachelor party, you show up to the wedding.  Like Blaine said, Rachel’s doing most of the heavy stuff.  And I have no freaking idea what’s going on with the shower.”

The men nodded in assent.  Tina’s eyes were still fixed on the empty doorway that Blaine had left through.

“Please tell me this whole wedding planning isn’t going to be like that,” she grumbled.  Sam nudged her knee with his under the table, and he could tell that Mike did the same on the other side.  “What?”

Mike opened his mouth to explain, but Sam beat him to the punch, hoping his answer wouldn’t cause an argument within the present wedding party.  “I hope not either, but I would go ahead and plan on it.”  Tina groaned.  “I mean, they have to plan this together anyway, right?”  He and Tina shared a look, showing their hidden mutual displeasure, though they both knew what Sam said was true.  They would just have to work around it.

“Speak of the devil,” Mike said, pointing toward the door.  Sam turned to follow his gaze to see a group of people walking through, Blaine and Kurt at the forefront.

“Guess who’s finally here!”

“Traffic was awful,” Kurt informed as he slid into the seat that Blaine held out for him.  “And it didn’t help that we ran over our appointment and we still haven’t picked dresses for the girls to wear.”

“I’m sure you’ll find them soon,” Blaine said, leaning over to kiss Kurt on the cheek.  (Sam suddenly found the napkin in his lap very interesting.)

“I would just really like the girls to all wear the same dress, but we need something that’s flattering for all figures.”  Kurt looked between Santana and Rachel, who had taken seats on either side of Finn after the three had arrived.  “And it doesn’t help that Mercedes isn’t even in from L.A. yet.  Or that we have to rush to get them ready by Christmas.”

“Wait, so that’s why you’re having the wedding so fast?”  Mike asked.  “To have it on Christmas?”

“Well, Christmas Eve,” Kurt said.  “I just think it would be so beautiful, with all the Christmas lights and the snow and the atmosphere.  Blaine proposed at just the right time.”  Kurt smiled at Blaine, patting his hand and unintentionally (or, maybe intentionally) showing off his engagement ring.  Sam gritted his teeth, breathing in heavily through his nose.    

“So wait, what am I supposed to wear, again?” Tina asked from across the table, interrupting their moment.  Kurt hesitated to answer; it was clear he hadn’t even thought of Tina.

“Maybe Tina should go with you the next time you pick out dresses,” Blaine suggested kindly.  “Then we can have all of the girls in the same dress.”

“That sounds fine,” Kurt conceded, though he didn’t sound to pleased to have Tina tagging along.  Sam would love to be a fly on the wall in that room, just to see if their glares could actually catch each other on fire.

“We also need to discuss who’s walking down the aisle with whom,” Blaine said, swiftly changing the subject.  “Traditionally, the maid or maiden of honor and the best man walk together, so that’s Sam and Rachel-“

“Wait, won’t that be weird?  Since Rachel and I are, like, married?” Finn asked.

“Finn, it’s tradition!”

“But-“

“Maybe Sam could walk with Santana?” Blaine suggested.

Sam nudged him in the side.  “Dude, no!  She’ll claw my eyes out!”  

“Sam!” Blaine whispered sharply, ignoring Santana’s smirk from across the table.

“Or he could walk with Mercedes…” Kurt said.  Sam shrugged.  He and Mercedes hadn’t really talked since high school, but it’s not like they were on bad terms.  Walking with her would definitely be all right.  “But the wedding party is already lopsided, and I feel like it just wouldn’t make sense to not have the maid of honor walk with the best man.”

Kurt turned to Blaine, seeking his agreement.  Blaine nodded once.  “Sam and Rachel will walk together.  Finn, I promise you, no one in the audience is going to get suspicious of anything.  You can walk with Tina, since you two are the odd person out on either side, and Mike and Santana can walk together.”

Sam sighed in relief, and he could see a visible sigh from both Artie and Finn as well for not getting Santana as a walking partner.

“You boys got lucky,” she said.  “At least I like Mike.”

“And that just leaves…Artie, Mercedes, and Cooper,” Kurt stated, putting the finishing touches on the information he’d just jotted down in the notepad he had pulled out when Sam wasn’t looking.  “Artie and Mercedes can go together, and then Cooper can go stag.  Does that sound good?”

The whole table nodded, glad to be finished with the topic.  Cooper looked especially happy, and Sam was sure he was already planning some kind of acting exercise he could do while walking down the aisle alone.

“All right.  One more-“

The waitress reappeared, distracting the whole table as she asked for their orders.  Each person ordered in turn, both food and drink, before the waitress left with a smile very similar to the hostess Sam had seen.

“Where was I,” Kurt mused, drawing attention once again.  “Oh!  I need to ask you all one more thing.”

Everyone at the table perked up.  Sam stole a glance at Blaine, who gave him a small shrug, telling Sam that he had no idea what Kurt was about to ask.

“I thought it would be really special if…the New Directions sang at our wedding!”

Rachel squealed, grasping on to an equally excited Kurt’s hand.  Finn, Santana, Mike, and Artie were all nodding in approval.

“Oh my god, we have to start picking out songs now.  I’m so coming over to your apartment after dinner!” Rachel announced to Kurt.  Already, they began launching into a discussion of which songs would best fit, a stream of classic Broadway love songs that even Sam could recognizing being their first choices.

Sam looked over at Blaine, who had his mouth pursed in a way that made him seem like he had something to say.  Sam elbowed him, gesturing for him to say whatever it was.

“I don’t know, it’s just…maybe it could be cool if the New Directions from our year sang too?” he suggested.

“That idea sounds awesome,” Sam agreed, earning a wide smile from Blaine.  Tina and Artie echoed his sentiments behind him.  “We could even get Marley to write a song-“

“Wait, what?” Kurt asked, interrupting Sam.

“…Blaine wants our year of New Directions to perform,” Sam answered when Blaine remained silent. 

“Why?” Kurt asked, turning to Blaine.  “If we’re already going to have the New Directions that was there when we were both at McKinley?”

“I just…You would have your group, and I would have mine, and I thought it would be special for the both of us,” Blaine explained.

“But we don’t need the two groups, because it’ll be our New Directions.”

“Dude, can’t he just have something special for himself?” Sam blurted out before he even realized what he was saying.  All heads turned to him, a gasp coming from one of the girls.  For a moment he was tempted to shrink back into his chair, but he only sat up straighter.  “Like…you’re having something special to you, so he can, too, and it’ll be like two separate worlds coming together.”

“But it shouldn’t have to be,” Kurt argued.  “My point is that it will be the New Directions that was there when we were both in it, so it will already be a group that don’t have to come together.”

“But everyone and their mom knows that Blaine was a lot closer to the New Directions from our senior year, so why can’t he just-“

“Because the old New Directions will already be there because so many are in the wedding party-“

“Like he’s not going to invite-“

“Stop!” 

Both men’s mouths snapped shut, focusing on Blaine in between them.  He had his hands up as if he were physically restraining them from each other.

Blaine looked back and forth between them awkwardly, unsure of what to say.  “I…” he shot a look towards Sam, and Sam knew he had lost the argument.  “Kurt’s idea is fine.  It makes sense to have the one group where we…where we both were.  I changed schools to join him and that group.  It makes sense.”

Sam turned away to grab a sip of water, gripping the glass a little too tightly and trying to ignore the reactions from everyone else at the table, especially Blaine’s fading ‘what the hell was that’ look.  The table fell silent for a few moments, the only sounds coming from the clinking of glassware and a few awkward coughs.

“So where is this Christmas wedding, anyway?” Santana asked, smoothly breaking the tension.  “If it’s outside to show off the winter snow I might actually take a blade to your perfect porcelain skin.”

“Of course it’s not outside,” Kurt said.  “We don’t actually know where the venue is yet, but we should soon.”

“Aren’t you supposed to book venues like, a thousand months in advance?  Are you even sure you’re going to get one anywhere since it’s Christmas?”

“My boss is Isabelle Wright, I’m sure I can pull some strings.  I’m definitely thinking something like the Plaza, or maybe the St. Regis…”

Sam tuned Kurt out as he continued weighing location options with Rachel and Santana, instead turning to a quiet Blaine.

“You okay?” he murmured, leaning in and bumping his shoulder against Blaine’s.  Blaine nodded, only looking at Sam for a second.

“Look, I’m sorry about arguing.  I just…it’s okay for you to have some things special to just you in the wedding, you know that.”  Blaine sighed, finally looking up at Sam through his lashes and giving him a small quirk of a smile.

“It is special.  And I’ll find more things for me later.  It’ll be okay,” Blaine assured, knocking his shoulder back against Sam’s.  For a moment, Sam could pretend that it was just them, that there weren’t crowds of people around them expecting them to act a certain way.  And for the moment, he would take it, especially since he would need them to survive in the two months to come.

Chapter Text

“The invitations need to reflect the mood of the wedding, but also the location,” Kurt mused to himself, poring over more than thirty different examples laid out in front of him.  Blaine hovered over his shoulder, attempting to see what Kurt saw.  To him, they mostly just looked white with different borders on each card.  At first glance there were at least five that he was drawn to, and all of them looked pretty similar to the other four.

“That’ll be hard, since we don’t even know where the wedding’s going to be yet,” he joked, but was met with silence as a response.

“It’s definitely going to be at a ballroom, so we can go off of that,” Kurt said, picking up one envelope and eyeing it closely, then shaking his head and setting it back on the table in favor of the one next to it.  “It needs to be elegant and classy, and have some sort of…structure to it.  A presence, not too…I don’t know, flowery, or airy.  But it can’t be too boxy, either. I don’t want it to look like it’s going to be at a sporting event.”

Blaine wasn’t sure how boxy equaled sporting event, but okay.  “I like this one,” he suggested, pointing toward a simple cream envelope that had a slightly raised border in a straight rectangle.  Kurt finally looked up at him, brows pulled down into a frown.

“That is literally the definition of boxy.”

“Fine.  I was just trying to help.”  Blaine set down the envelope back from where he’d picked it up.  Kurt immediately scooted it over to the side of the table, next to other envelopes that Blaine had quickly figured out was the ‘rejected’ pile.

“What about this-“

“Blaine, I love you,” Kurt interrupted, “but…could I maybe have a little space?  We could do this where I pick out a few, and then you pick out a few, and then we discuss them together and make a choice, instead.  It could be an easier way to narrow them down.” 

Kurt gave Blaine a pleading smile, tilting his chin downward and looking up at Blaine like a puppy might.  Blaine clenched his jaw shut.  Already, he knew that it would probably end up being one of Kurt’s choices without his really being considered, but he didn’t want to cause a fight.  And Kurt’s taste would be more fitting for the wedding, anyway.

Instead of arguing, he placed his hands on Kurt’s shoulders, massaging his fingers into the muscles.  Kurt leaned back into his touch, humming in pleasure.

“Out of the choices, which place is your favorite?  For the wedding?”

Kurt remained quiet for a few moments, sorting more invitations into ‘rejected’ piles and ‘maybe’ piles.  “Paris.”

“Paris?”

“Don’t you think it would be beautiful?” Kurt immediately asked, spinning around in his chair to face Blaine, as if he already knew he was going to face opposition before he’d even voiced the idea.  “All of that snow, and the Christmas lights, and god, the Eiffel Tower all light up?  Paris is such a romantic city, it would be perfect for our wedding!”

“It’s also halfway across the world,” Blaine argued.  “And we were just there-“

“And we know how perfect it is!  We could share that with all of our wedding guests!”

“How are we going to get them there?”

“We don’t-“

The doorbell rang, cutting Kurt short.  Both Blaine and Kurt looked back and forth from the door to each other, debating whether they should continue the conversation or answer the door.  Kurt’s phone buzzed loudly against the wooden desk, showing that he had an incoming call.  Kurt took the phone call hastily while Blaine huffed, crossing the large living room to unlock the door.

“Sam?”

“Hey, dude, I thought we were hanging out?”

Right.  Coffee and window shopping at arts and crafts stores to make jokes about all of the items inside and let Sam pick up some new pencils.  “Um…” Blaine looked back to Kurt, who was talking rapidly on the phone to whoever was on the other line.  “Now’s not really a good time.  I think.”

“Actually, I need you to go get some more samples for me, for the table place cards.  I might need to go into work soon.  Do you think you could do that for me?” Kurt asked, cupping his hand over the phone’s mic.  Blaine nodded, still not finished with their discussion but knowing he had no other choice.  Kurt having to leave to go into work had been a frequent occurrence lately.

Kurt crossed over to him, wrapping his arms over Blaine’s shoulders and letting Blaine drape his hands lightly around his waist.  “Just think about it?”

“Think about it,” Blaine answered, leaning in for a kiss.  He felt Kurt sigh against his lips in relief.  “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”  Kurt leaned in for another kiss.  Blaine heard an awkward cough come from the door way.

“Um, guys?”

Blaine pulled away, laughing at the slight cringe on Sam’s face.  “Sorry about that.  Newly engaged couple and all.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam teased, grabbing Blaine’s arm and tugging him out before he could show any more not-exactly-public displays of affection and intentionally make his best friend feel even more awkward.  “I’ve got chapstick in my pocket if you need it.  Now come on, Romeo, we have very important place cards to fetch.”

“This…” Blaine said, pointing to his peach danish, “this is a godsend.  I needed this.”

Sam smiled, taking another bite of his chocolate chip muffin.  “Yeah?”

“Mmm,” Blaine answered, moaning around the bite in his mouth.  

(That’s so not fair, Sam thought.)

“You looked like you could use a pick-me-up,” Sam said instead, nudging Blaine’s coffee toward him.  Blaine swallowed his bite and took a long drink from the medium drip.  

“Today’s just been…today.”  Blaine took another sip, and Sam thought he could actually see the tension releasing from his shoulders.  “Wedding planning is not all it’s cracked up to be.”

“Kurt’s not being a groomzilla, is he?”

Blaine laughed at Sam’s bad joke.  “He’s fine, he’s fine.  It’s just…” He didn’t finish his sentence, just shook his head as if he couldn’t say what he wanted to say.

“Just…?  Come on, you can tell me,” Sam prodded.  Blaine let out a sigh.

“He’s so focused on the wedding.  Everything needs to be perfect, and that doesn’t surprise me one bit.  I mean, it’s Kurt, and that’s something that I love about him.  But it feels like he’s spending more time working on the wedding than working on us, or like, letting me help him out.  Working together with me.  I don’t know, I’m not making any sense.”

“No, I get it,” Sam said, leaning forward in his seat.  “It’s a wedding for the both of you, but he’s acting like it’s just his.”

“I…yeah, kind of,” Blaine said, nodding thoughtfully.  “I mean, he’s planning it for us, but-“

“But he’s only picking out things that work for him, not that work for you, too,” Sam insisted.  “He’s only focusing on what he wants.”

“Yeah…”

“He’s acting like a jerk.”  Sam sat back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest.  Blaine wasn’t looking at him; instead, he was staring down at his danish, and Sam thought he could see him chewing on the inside of his cheek.

Sam wondered if he’d gone too far.

“I have an idea,” he blurted, reaching down under the table for the sack of place cards they’d picked up earlier.  “You know how he wants you guys to choose the invitation envelopes separately and then come together and decide?”

Blaine nodded warily.

“Well, what if you did the same thing with these?  To, like, balance it out?”

Blaine hesitated before reaching for the first card Sam pulled out.  “I don’t know…”

“Come on, just try it,” Sam encouraged.  “If it doesn’t work you can still look together.  There’s no harm in doing it.”

“…Okay.”

Sam laid the first handful of cards on the table, not even attempting to hide his grin.  Both men took a moment to examine the cards, before Sam picked up the one that really drew his eye.

“What about this one?”  It was simple.  Elegant.  Just a raised border that gave Sam the good feeling of a sense of structure.

Blaine scooted his seat closer to Sam, looking over Sam’s shoulder.  “Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing.  It’s just…it’s too boxy.  Kurt doesn’t like the style.”

“Oh.”

Blaine’s eyes glossed over the cards again, occasionally settling on one card before moving on to the next.  “It would really help if I knew what the invitations were supposed to look like.  They’re supposed to look like they come from a set, right?”

Sam shrugged.  “I don’t know, I’ve never gotten married before.”  For some reason, this made Blaine chuckle.

“Right.”  Blaine picked up a few cards and placed them at the top of the table, the “boxy” one Sam had picked out right at the very end of the line he created, before sweeping the rest into a clumpy stack and placing them in the vacant chair next to him.  Sam grabbed a few more cards and laid them out.

“Kurt says they need to reflect mood and location.  I have no idea what the location is.  Neither does he.”

“What’s the mood?”

Blaine paused.  “I’m really not sure.  Classy?”

“Is that a mood?”

Blaine shrugged.

“O…kay.”  A card caught Sam’s eye.  “This is classy.”

Blaine scrunched his nose.  “Not sure I like all of the swirls.”

“It’s…wintery?” Sam said, but he could still tell Blaine wasn’t feeling it.  Honestly, he wasn’t either.  To him, it looked like whoever used it was showing off, though he really couldn’t explain how.

Blaine reached across Sam to the card all the way across the table.  Sam may have subtly leaned into where their bodies made contact; Blaine didn’t need to know.  “This is…interesting.”

The card was a clean white, the fake names of the attendees (Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, how original) and the table number below them in smaller font resting between two mirroring small but intricate designs.  The whole look create a balance in every direction of the card.

“Classy.”

“And…I don’t know what our wedding colors are yet, but I think Kurt’s leaning toward royal blue…we can make those designs blue.  Make them look wintery.”

“Kind of like snowflakes?”

Blaine’s eyes lit up.  “Yeah!  It’ll look so cool!”  He shuffled rest of the cards on the table into a stack, placing the one he had just picked at the top.

“So, what do you want the wedding colors to be?” Sam asked curiously as Blaine put the cards he liked into their own separate bag.  Blaine sat back in his chair, thinking.

“I think the choices right now are between royal blue, a dark red, or like a forest green.  Something wintery.”  Blaine began gathering the rest of the cards and placing them in their own stack.

“Green?”

“Yeah, not my favorite either.”

“Blue would be pretty.  Especially if there’s windows and you can see the snow.  Blue’s my favorite.”

“I know,” Blaine smiled.

Sam leaned back, casually draping his arm around the back of Blaine’s chair.  “Red’s your favorite.”

Blaine nodded again, a small smile on his face.  “You know me so well.”

“Only been your best friend for seven years.  It’d be pretty bad if I didn’t at least know that.”  He squeezed Blaine’s shoulder as Blaine pressed his back against his arm.  

Blaine let out a sigh, looking at their surroundings, at the few fellow brave souls who’d chosen to sit outside on the sunny but chilly day.  Sam followed his gaze, only then realizing that for the past few minutes he had tuned everything that wasn’t them out.  “As my best friend, and best man, you’re going to keep me sane these next few weeks, right?”

Sam cleared his throat.  “That’s my job.”

Blaine smiled, leaning in for a sideways hug.  Sam wrapped his arm around Blaine tighter as Blaine tucked his head into the crook of Sam’s neck.  “Thanks, Sam.”

Sam didn’t respond, just hugged Blaine closer and wishing that the circumstances for the moment were completely different.  They held each other for a few moments longer before the realization that people might start looking seemed to hit the both of them at the same time.  As much as Sam would have liked it, they couldn’t afford to be mistaken for a couple anymore.

“I should get these back to Kurt,” Blaine said awkwardly, attempting to break the moment.

“Do you have to right now?”

“He didn’t text me to say he was going into work, so he’s probably wondering where I am, since it’s been over an hour.”

“You just-“

“He’s not going to be mad, but I should go,” Blaine said firmly and stood, the two separate sacks of cards in his hands.  Sam sighed, but stood as well.

“See you at home?” he asked.  Blaine nodded, leaning forward for Sam to tug him into one last hug.  Sam hugged him tightly, and on the spur of the moment as he pulled away he planted a kiss on Blaine’s cheek.

“Later,” he said, grabbing his keys and his trash before turning to leave, tossing the trash in the can on the sidewalk.

“Yeah, later,” he heard quietly behind him, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn and see Blaine’s reaction.

As he walked briskly down the sidewalk leading to his apartment, Blaine checked his phone for the third time since he’d gotten off the subway.  12:37 AM.  For New York it wasn’t exactly late by any standards, but he really hadn’t meant to stay out that long.  He’d dropped the place cards back at Kurt’s, run out to get them both Chinese for dinner, ate dinner with him, and they’d talked.  Kurt picked out a few place cards that he’d liked, the one Blaine and Sam had chosen at the forefront, and Blaine found an invitation that had somewhat matched, and they’d made a decision together.

That decision had made Kurt extremely happy, and so talking had then led to other things, and then it was 11:30 at night and Blaine was tugging on his clothes so he could get to the subway on time.  Which, he missed it anyway, of course, so he’d had to wait for the next one for thirty minutes to take him home.

They made decisions together.  It was what Blaine had wanted.

But they hadn’t talked about Paris.

He wasn’t even sure where that had come from.  He knew that Kurt was a big dreamer, especially when it came to planning, and he loved that about Kurt.  He also loved that Kurt usually had a miraculous way of making those big dreams happen.  But to ask their families, friends, wedding parties, anyone who they’d hoped would attend the wedding, to fly halfway across the world, no matter how romantic the setting was…

Blaine shook his head.  It was just a big dream.  They would find a beautiful ballroom to have their wedding in, right in the heart of New York.  And it would be perfect.

Reaching the steps to his apartment, Blaine shoved his hand in his pocket, reaching for his keys.  His fingers wrapped around nothing.  Confused, he patted the rest of his pockets, making sure he hadn’t misplaced the keys in one of the heavier pockets of his late-fall coat.

Nothing.

Blaine groaned, looking up the building to the window of his and Sam’s apartment.  The light was still on, as he’d expected; Sam usually found inspiration for his art late at night, when the atmosphere was quieter.  Blaine reached over to the call box and pressed the button for their apartment.

“Hello?” he heard, crackly through the speaker.  He sighed loudly.

Sam laughed.  “Locked yourself out again?”

“Must’ve let the keys at Kurt’s.  Please don’t be a butthead about it.”

He heard another laugh from Sam, before the front door clicked open.  Blaine raced inside, eager to get out of the cold, and ascended the steps as quickly as he could.

“I think the keys fell out of my pockets or something,” he said once he was through the door, taking off his coat and relishing the warm air.  As expected, Sam was hunched over a sketchbook.  Teddy bounded from his dog bed in greeting, licking at Blaine’s boots.  Blaine leaned over to pet him, and he jumped into Blaine’s arms.

“Like, out of your coat?” Sam asked, not looking up from his book.

“Uh…sure.”  Blaine usually kept his keys in his pants pockets, which meant they would have had to have fallen out while they were on the floor, but he didn’t need to mention that.

“Did you get things figured out?  Like with the cards?”

“Yup,” Blaine answered happily.  Sam nodded, dragging his pencil over the paper in a shading motion.

“What are you drawing?” Blaine asked, scooting closer to Sam on the couch and peering over his shoulder.  Teddy wiggled on his lap, and Blaine made sure to continue stroking his fur.

At Blaine’s question, Sam immediately flipped the sketchbook over, eyes finally darting up to lock with Blaine’s.  “Nothing,” he insisted.  

Blaine was surprised.  Usually he was the one person Sam let look at his art before it was completed.  “Oh, come on, Sammy.  Let me see!”  He reached across Sam’s lap for the book, but Sam held it out of his reach.

“Um, it’s…it’s just not done yet.”

“But-“

“It’s a surprise,” Sam added, tucking the book into the cushion of the couch.  Blaine pouted, not removing his arm from its position and resting his hand on Sam’s wrist.  He knew Sam had difficulty resisting his puppy eyes.

“Blaine…”

“Please?”

Sam hesitated, biting his lip.  Blaine’s eyes tracked the movement, which made him realize just how close his face was to Sam’s.  It reminded him slightly of earlier, at the coffee shop, though this certainly lasted longer.  “I can’t.  It’s just not ready.”

“Fine,” Blaine grumbled.  Teddy moved from his lap to Sam’s, flopping over the book and blocking his path anyway.  “Oh, I see who your favorite is,” he said to the dog, who hmphed as he laid his head down on his paws.

“Nah, he totally loves you,” Sam said, rubbing his hand down Teddy’s spine.  “He missed you like crazy when you were in Paris.  He’s going to miss you even more when you’re gone.”  Sam looked at Blaine then, something hidden in his eyes, and Blaine got the impression that he wasn’t just talking about Teddy.  

“Are you kidding me?  I’m going to come visit every single day.  He won’t have time to miss me.”

“What a great husband,” Sam joked.  Blaine snorted, bumping Sam’s shoulder.  Sam laughed, but sobered quickly.

“You…you’re going to be a great husband,” he said, much more sincerely, and giving Blaine the same look from before.

“Thank you,” Blaine said, matching Sam’s seriousness.  

Sam cleared his throat.  “Whoa.  Sudden tension.  Um.  I should go to bed.  Yeah.”  He leaned over and grabbed Blaine in a one-armed hug.  Their cheeks brushed together, and Blaine shivered, wondering if Sam was going to kiss him on the cheek like he had earlier.  Blaine was secretly glad that Sam had walked away after that, not turning to see Blaine very cliche-ly touching his cheek where it tingled from the kiss.

Sam left him kiss-less, placing Teddy on the ground and standing.  “Yep, off to bed.  You guard that book, you hear me?” he instructed the dog.  Like a good guard dog, Teddy followed Sam into his bedroom to sleep, leaving the book wide open for anyone to grab.

Blaine eyed the book from where it peeked out in the couch.  Sam clearly trusted him not to look, and he knew he shouldn’t if Sam didn’t want him to…but it was so tempting.

‘I’m a terrible friend,’ Blaine thought as he reached for the sketchbook, turning it to the last page.  ‘Literally the worst.’

But Sam was hiding was really for nothing, in Blaine’s opinion, since he couldn’t really make out who it was Sam was drawing.  All Sam had drawn so far were two human figures, entwined together intimately on a couch but with no distinguishable features.

Blaine put the sketchbook back in the couch cushion.  Whoever it was could wait until Sam was ready to explain.

Chapter Text

“Well.  This is it.”

Sam looked up through the wall of rain in front of them to the building across the street, which was planted firmly between two other stone buildings that looked almost exactly like it.  Maybe it was just the rain, but Sam thought if it weren’t for the awning over the door stating the hotel’s name in an elegant cursive that he could barely make out, he probably wouldn’t have noticed anything special about the building.  The decorative roof of the building was somewhat impressive, if a person dared to look up despite the rain, but other than that…

“It looks like just another building.”

Blaine set him a sideways glance, face shadowed by their shared umbrella.  “Sam.  It’s the St. Regis.”  He shook his head, stepping on the street once the crosswalk light changed.  “Come on, you’ll understand once we get inside.”  Sam followed in a rush, wincing at the few drops that managed to hit his head as Blaine moved forward without him.  He shrugged at Blaine once he successfully got back under the umbrella, even though Blaine couldn’t see.  Still just a building.

They pushed through the crowds on the sidewalk, ducking around dreary black umbrellas until they finally stood under the maroon awning of the hotel.  Sam took the umbrella from Blaine, shaking out as much water as he could before closing it, while Blaine nodded and smiled at the doorman who welcomed them as he walked inside.  Sam awkwardly fumbled the umbrella, unsure of where to put it, before the doorman finally extended his hand.

“Thanks, man,” Sam said, handing the umbrella over.  The doorman nodded before placing the umbrella next to a whole pile of wet umbrellas inside that Sam somehow managed to miss.

Sam stood up straight, brushing at his coat in hopes that he might get some of the water off, before finally looking around at the hotel’s interior.  Blaine wasn’t kidding.  In front of him extended a long hallway, branching off into what Sam assumed were multiple rooms, stairwells, or other hallways.  A crisp marble decorated the floor, while the beige walls extended up to a high ceiling that held chandeliers placed strategically down the hallway.  There were plush couches and chairs scattered around in the first offset room Sam could see and around columns near the front desk, but Sam didn’t dare sit on one in his wet state.  Instead, he took his place beside Blaine, who was waiting for the woman at the front desk to finish talking on the phone.

“…Yes, they’re here,” the woman, whose name tag read ‘Lindsay,’ said into the phone.  “Do you want - okay.  Yes.  I can - yes ma’am.  Yes.  All right.”  Lindsay hung up the phone with a click before turning to Blaine and Sam.  “Alicia Conners is our hotel event coordinator.  She’ll be showing you the ballroom when she gets here, but she’s out at lunch right now.”

“Oh,” Blaine said.  “How long will we need to wait?”

“Only about twenty minutes or so, but she also told me that if you wanted to go upstairs and take a look now, that would be fine.”  Lindsay frowned slightly, as if that was an unusual occurrence. Sam looked over at Blaine, who was nodding as if he understood perfectly.

“That sounds great, thank you.  Do we just -?”

“Take the elevator all the way to the top, then take two turns to the left,” Lindsay instructed, gesturing toward the elevators.  Blaine thanked her again before turning to Sam.  “Shall we?”

Sam smiled, even though he was inwardly dreading seeing the place where Blaine might be getting married.  It felt too real.

They walked side by side to the elevator, both letting out a deep breath once they got inside - Sam’s of dread, Blaine’s presumably of nervousness and excitement.

“So what do you think so far?” Blaine asked, breaking the silence as they rode up the twenty floors to the one labeled ‘Roof.’

“It’s definitely fancy,” Sam said.  “Why are they letting us go up on our own?”

“Kurt has connections.”

“Connections.  Kurt.  Right.”

“And I think my dad may have been name-dropped at some point,” Blaine continued.  “But mostly the it’s the-“

“Connections.”  One thing Sam would never have, unless it was getting a music album or maybe a comic book a few days early.

Blaine did like it when Sam surprised him with an album he’d been waiting for, though…

The elevator dinged and the doors spread, revealing a room that resembled the hallway downstairs.  They followed Lindsay’s instructions, rounding the corner twice, before coming upon a door with a plaque to the side that read ‘The Roof.’  Blaine stepped inside first, letting out a gasp that had Sam rushing in behind him.

It was…it was gorgeous.  Almost purely white, the entire room pointed up to the ceiling, which Sam first assumed was painted like clouds, but then realized it was more of a floral design.  Either way, it made the room resemble heaven.  Windows lined the room, no more than two feet apart from each other, framed with heavy gold curtains.  The curtains were currently open, but there was a second, sheer sheet underneath them that blocked Sam and Blaine from seeing the rain, so the room still had a light and airy feel.  More chandeliers hung from the ceiling, lighting the room as if by a bright candlelight.  Some gold colored chairs were pushed to the sides of the room at the moment, but they still coordinated with the elegant and angelic feel of the rest of the room.

It would be an amazing place to get married.

“Wow….” Blaine said, so breathless it was almost a whisper.  He strode to the center of the room and circled around, taking everything in.  “It’s beautiful.”

“Mmm,” Sam responded, staying by the door and shoving his hands in his pockets  He kept his focus on an awe-stricken Blaine and not on how the room would look decked out with the chairs arranged around tables, half the room left clear and Blaine on the dance floor, taking his first dance with someone who wasn’t Sam.

Blaine continued to slowly circle himself, and Sam could tell Blaine was picturing the exact thing Sam was trying not to.  Sam stepped forward, wet shoes squishing on the marble floors, which drew Blaine’s attention.

“So you like it?”

“I…” Blaine took one more glance around the room.  “Yeah.  I do.”

There was something off in his voice.

“You don’t love it.”

Blaine froze, his eyes away from Sam, instead facing the front of the room.  “It’s beautiful.”

“But you don’t love it,” Sam repeated, stepping closer to Blaine.  “Could you see yourself getting married here?”

“I think so,” Blaine said.

“Even though it’s not perfect?”

Blaine hesitated.  “It might not be where we get married.  It might not be what Kurt wants.”

“What does Kurt want?”

Blaine looked back at Sam.  “He wants to get married in Paris.”

Sam’s eyes widened.  “Paris?”

Blaine nodded.  “He fell in love with it when we took our trip, and he wants to share that with our wedding guests.”

“And how is he going to get everyone over there?”

Blaine shrugged, letting out a small laugh.  “That’s kind of what I said.  I just… I don’t know.  I want to make this wedding perfect for both of us.”

“But you don’t want Paris.”

Blaine said nothing.  Sam stepped closer, placing his hand on Blaine’s shoulder and squeezing.

“Hey, you can tell me.  This is what best men are for, right?”  Blaine cracked a smile.  “You don’t want Paris?” Sam asked again.

Blaine shook his head.

“Do you even want here?”  Sam gestured around the room.  Blaine followed his hand with his eyes, taking one more look, before sighing.

“I don’t know.  This really is beautiful.”

“But?”

“But…” Blaine walked to the side of the room, sinking into one of the chairs and letting out a little huff of laughter.  “It’s funny.  I thought I had everything that I wanted planned out in high school.  Kurt and I talked about our future all the time.  But now that we’re here, and we need to know all of the specifics, I just… have no idea what I want.”

“Or you do know what you want, but they clash with Kurt’s ideas, so you go with his instead,” Sam remarked boldly.  Blaine coughed.

“That’s really not all that bad.”

“Dude, you gotta stand up for yourself sometimes,” Sam said.  Blaine’s jaw dropped, about to protest, but he shook his head instead and said nothing.

Sam sat in the chair next to him, putting his arm across the back of Blaine’s chair tentatively, noticing the unusual gap of air between them.

“What would you want?  For your wedding, I mean?” Blaine asked, taking Sam by surprise.

“Um…” Sam looked away from Blaine’s eyes quickly, trying to gather up his thoughts before they came out something like ‘to be marrying you.’

“Not this,” he settled on, gesturing to the room.  “I’d definitely want a spring or summer wedding, so it could be outside.  Probably at some time that straddled the line between them, so it’s not too hot but people aren’t dying from allergies.  I’d want it to be at a park or something, definitely somewhere where people just walking on the street could see.”

“Why?” Blaine asked.

“Because it would just feel like I’d be shouting my love to the world,” Sam said honestly, locking eyes with Blaine again.  His eyes were soft again, mostly filled with curiosity, though there was something else in there that Sam couldn’t place.  “Saying I’m so in love and I’m getting married and everything is perfect.  You know me, obnoxious romantic,” Sam joked.  Blaine smiled, trying not to laugh, though he was nodding along with Sam’s words.  As he listened attentively, he leaned closer and closer to Sam, until their sides were touching as they normally would

“I kind of thought that would be something like what you wanted, too,” Sam continued.  “Especially since for you, it wouldn’t just be saying, hey, I love this person.  It would be you saying, I am in love with this man, and I’m marrying him, and you can’t take that from me, even if you wanted to.’”  Blaine’s smile lowered slowly, but his eyes got bigger, realizing that Sam had hit the nail on the head.

“And,” Sam said, standing up and taking a few steps around the room.  The missing warmth from Blaine’s body heat made his arm tingle, and he could tell Blaine was caught off guard by the sudden change.  “Your colors would be red.  It’s your favorite color.  But it’d be like a bright red, because it means burning, passionate love, but also boldness.  People would see you from far away.  The wedding would catch their attention.”  He turned back to Blaine, who had started rising from his seat.  “That’s what I would want, too, even though blue is my favorite color.  Blue’s too cold for something like this.  For telling people how much I love…this person.”

Blaine nodded, stepping towards Sam, completely caught in the moment.  In Sam’s mind, the ballroom had disappeared.  It was the two of them, Blaine and Sam, outside in front of hundreds of people whether they had been formally invited to the wedding or not, Sam wearing a light dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, wearing a red tie hung loosely around his neck, Blaine in a similar dress shirt but with a crimson vest over it, hair gelled and every button in place.  Perfectly representing them.

“Everything would be simple.  Maybe even almost casual.  But people would know,” Sam said quietly, knowing Blaine was close enough to hear him.  Blaine was standing so close.

“And for your perfect wedding, our New Directions would be there to sing,” he said.  Blaine’s eyes lit up even more, pleased by the idea.  “And Teddy would be the ring bearer,” Sam joked, making Blaine laugh.

“And you’d be standing right beside me?” Blaine asked.  Sam’s heart jumped into his throat, the image of him at the altar with Blaine, exchanging vows and rings, sharing their first kiss as husbands, blazing in his mind, before he realized that Blaine meant as his best man.  Standing right beside him, on the other side of him.   

“And I’d be standing right beside you,” Sam repeated all the same, gulping down the lump in his throat.  He felt pulled towards Blaine, to his intense eyes and slightly parted lips, and god did he want to kiss him then - 

“So sorry I’m late,” a blonde woman in a professional but stylish suit interrupted as she stepped through the door, closing it delicately behind her.  “New York traffic, you know.”  She stepped forward, high heels clicking against the marble floor, and extended her hand to Blaine.  “Alicia Conners.  St. Regis event coordinator.”

“Blaine Anderson.  Pleasure to meet you,” he said.  “And this is -“

“Your groom-to-be, I assume?” Ms. Conners said, turning to Sam and giving him a firm handshake while he tried not to laugh.

“Oh, no,” Blaine corrected, a blush rising on his cheeks.  “This is Sam, my best man.  Kurt couldn’t make it, he had…work.”  Blaine gave her another smile, but Sam knew him well enough to know that it was 100% fake.

“Oh, well, I beg your pardon,” Ms. Conners said.  “Nice to meet you, Sam.  How are you liking the ballroom?” she asked, turning back to Blaine before Sam could even nod in greeting.

“It’s lovely,” Blaine answered.  He sent a glance towards Sam before continuing, a glance that left Sam confused as to what it meant.  “I could see myself getting married here.”  Ah.  It meant that.

“Wonderful,” Ms. Conners said, clapping her hands together in delight.  “What sort of ideas do you have for the wedding?  You want it to be at Christmastime, correct?”

Blaine nodded.  “Christmas Eve, if possible.  We’re…”  This time when he hesitated, he didn’t look at Sam at all, but the silence sent the same message.  “We’re thinking something like an elegant winter wonderland?  If that makes sense.  Royal blues and silvers, and lights and sculptures that resemble ice.”

Ms. Conners nodded along, and Sam could already see the picture forming in her head.  It formed in his, as well, solid and cold.

“And your fiancé?  This is what he’s thinking as well?”

“It’s definitely what Kurt wants,” Blaine assured.  Sam coughed in his fist, holding himself back from any further commentary.

“What do you think?” Ms. Conners asked suddenly, turning to Sam.  “Does a winter wonderland sound like a good idea to you?  Usually it’s good to get a few separate opinions.”

Sam looked back and forth between Ms. Conners and Blaine, knowing what he wanted to say but also knowing there was no way he could say it, not without upsetting Blaine.  “I’m…I’m just here for moral support.  I don’t really have an opinion,” he said instead, eyes settling on Blaine.  Blaine locked his gaze with Sam for a moment before looking down at his feet.  He knew exactly what Sam was thinking.

Ms. Conners turned back to Blaine and began asking questions about the potential set-up of the room, were they to have the wedding there.  Sam didn’t take his eyes off of Blaine, even though he knew that whatever intimate moment they’d had earlier was completely gone.  Sam had lost this round.

That didn’t stop his dreams that night from taking place in a park in the middle of the day, flashes of bright red and sounds of a choir accompanying him kissing his best friend and the person he loved more than anything in front of the whole world.

Chapter Text

Kurt’s apartment was bustling with people, all here to bring gifts that he could probably afford on his own anyway, judging by the sleek, modern furniture that was normally in the apartment as well as the recent addition of overly ornate decorations for the wedding shower.  It seemed like everywhere Sam turned he was running into baubles (that was what they were called, right?) that hung from the ceiling, or large but fake statues that would go back into storage once the party was over.  There was even a fountain on one side of the room, spurting water and counterbalancing the similar chocolate fountain that was placed on the other side of the appetizer and dessert table.  And if Sam wasn't running into decorations, he was running into people that he barely even knew, most of which were wearing designer clothing and carrying designer handbags, meaning they were friends of Kurt's.

Sam needed a drink.

A table farther behind the food, pressed up against the wall of the living room, held a bowl of fruit punch that probably wasn't spiked, as well as multiple bottles of wine that they must have brought back from Paris.  Leaning against the wall next to the table, Tina held one of the intricately designed wine glasses in her hand, the wine inside already halfway gone.  Sam quickly grabbed his own glass and filled it to the brim, taking his place next to her.

"This party sucks," Tina said, her words slightly slurred.

"How many have you had, exactly?" 

"Not enough to make this party not suck." 

"Ah," Sam said, and took a drink.

"Everything is so obnoxious," Tina continued, downing the rest of her glass and pouring another.  Sam made a mental note to keep an eye on her throughout the day and probably hide her glass after she finished that one, even if it was just for a little while.  "It's like an explosion of Kurt.  I want to vomit."

"Please don't." 

"I won't," Tina said.  "Wine puke is the worst puke."

She took another sip anyway.

"And the worst part is, Mike has an audition, so he's not here to distract me by making out with me on the couch."

"I don't think Kurt would like that very much," Sam mentioned.  Tina huffed, her volume rising.

“I don’t give a fu-"

Sam quickly cupped his hands over Tina's mouth, ignoring her sticky lip gloss and whine of protest, even though he was laughing.  He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, making sure to sneakily take her glass and leave it on the table, before guiding her towards the couch.

"Come on, let's sit, Tina-girl."

Tina let out a sigh but followed his lead.  "And I can't make out with you, because I am happily engaged, and my bridal shower will be nowhere near this obnoxious."

"Whenever you get around to having it."

"Shut up."  Tina pouted.  "Also, you're completely in love with Blaine."

"That I am," Sam said, looking around for his best friend.  He realized with a start that Blaine and Kurt were actually headed their way.

"You have to go talk to them," Tina said, nudging Sam forward.

"Me? You talk to them!"

"I can't," Tina protested.  “You don't want me to talk to Kurt when I'm tipsy, it won't be pretty."

"Actually, I think it'd be pretty hilarious."  Tina gave him a pointed look.  “Okay, true."

"And you're the best man, anyway."

Sam sighed and turned to Blaine and Kurt, who were right in front of them.  Tina stayed slightly behind Sam.

"You two look...cozy," Kurt said.  Sam could feel Tina's scowl.

"Uh...okay," Sam said before Tina could speak, keeping a straight face even though he didn't exactly like what Kurt was implying.  "Just hanging out, waiting for the party to get started."

"As friends," Tina added.  Sam took a small step forward, hoping that it would put more space between Tina and Kurt.  He didn't need to worry; at Kurt's tight smile, Tina rolled her eyes and walked away, muttering something about needing another drink.

"Kurt," Blaine said quietly, watching Tina leave and sending an apologetic glance to Sam.

What?  I meant cozy as friends.  Even Rachel and I don't hang on each other like that at parties."  Kurt gave Sam the same tight smile he gave Tina.  "It's good that you two are so close.  Just try to not fall in love with her like you do with every other girl.  Since Tina’s taken.”  Sam knew Kurt meant to be well-meaning (well, probably), but the words still cut deep.  Not to mention their irony, since Sam had already fallen for someone who was “taken” by Kurt himself.

“Dude, you were the one to imply it, not me,” Sam said.  “Not like I didn’t know you had it in you, but why are the bitch claws out suddenly?  Gotta show off for your preppy friends or something?”

Kurt pursed his lips, any trace of a smile gone.  Blaine looked back and forth between the two, wanting to step in, but Sam brushed them both off before he got the chance.

“Look, whatever.  I’m gonna go find my friend before she does anything she’ll regret tomorrow.”

“You do that.”

Sam rolled his eyes, turning to walk away, but as he took a step without looking he ran smack into one of the fake statues.

“These decorations!” he said in frustration, grabbing the foam figure before it fell and hit someone.  He heard Blaine and Kurt race to help him, but he managed to right the statue himself.  

“Isabelle uncovered a whole photoshoot set in storage that they never used, and offered to let me use it for the party,” Kurt said, answering a question that Sam never asked.  “But of course you don’t like them.”

“They’re just everywhere,” Sam said.  “I’m surprised that I’m the first one that’s hit one today.”

Kurt didn’t look convinced.  Sam didn’t know why he needed Sam’s approval anyway, though at that point it was mostly both of them looking for a fight.  Blaine was still hanging back, still too shocked that this was happening between his fiancé and his best man to say anything.

“But you’re right.  If I were planning the party, I wouldn’t have chosen these in a million years.  But what I really don’t like is that it just looks like you.  I don’t see ‘Blaine’ anywhere.  Did you even help plan the party?” he asked Blaine, catching the latter off guard.

"I mean," Blaine stuttered.  "I helped get the party together.  I didn't feel like I needed to help with the decorations, since Kurt's more of the..." Blaine waved his hands, fishing for the right word, "designer, I guess, out of the two of us."

Kurt smiled at Blaine, pleased, then smirked at Sam as he wrapped his arms around Blaine's waist.  Sam took another drink to hide his scowl.

"You don't think the decorations should look like both of you?" Sam asked, thinking of their conversation in the ballroom.  "That people should see you coming together as a couple?"

"It's just decorations, Sam," Blaine argued, frowning even more.  "And besides, I think they resemble me and Kurt just fine."

"Sure," Sam bit out, looking around the room one more time.  Still looked like Kurt pulled every single shot to him.

"Well, I'm sorry you don't like them," Kurt said.  "But it's good that you shouldn’t have to worry about them, right?  Since that's not part of your best man duties."  The front door opened and a burst of people walked in, greeting the room loudly and drawing Kurt's attention immediately.  "Oh, it's Natasha Bridges!  Blaine, come on, we need to go say hi."

Kurt quickly walked to the crowd without a backwards glance, kissing whom Sam presumed to be Natasha on both cheeks.  Blaine followed, slower, turning back and looking at Sam with an expression that could only read what the hell?

"So, on a scale of 1 to Run Joey Run, how awful was that conversation?"  Sam jumped, turning and facing a magically-appearing Tina, who handed him a glass of wine.

"I wasn't there for Run Joey Run," Sam responded instead of answering.  "Are you guys ever going to let Rachel live that one down?"

Tina shook her head.  "Absolutely not.  So?  Was it awful?"

"Just..." Sam sighed, crossing to the closest couch and sinking down onto it.  "Annoying, mostly.  And frustrating."

Tina crossed her legs under herself and sat next to Sam.  “And bitchy,” she added.

Sam just nodded.  “With them it just feels like Blaine never gets a say, and he refuses to see it."

Tina murmured in agreement.  "Kurt calls all the shots, Blaine's just the good boy that follows his orders."

"Yes!  Exactly!"  Sam groaned, leaning back into the couch.  Tina rubbed his shoulder comfortingly as he snuck a glance over at the couple in question.  He cringed when he realized Kurt's arm was back around Blaine's waist, holding him tight as a vice as he introduced Blaine to his colleagues.

"Is the plan still on?" Tina asked.  "Are you still trying to...?"  She left the question open-ended, both allowing Sam to fill in his own answer and preventing anyone else at the party from overhearing.

"I hope so," Sam said.  "At least, I'm trying.  But any time I try to talk to Blaine, or we move forward or whatever, he takes a few steps back.  Because of this stupid wedding."

"So what's your next move?"

"I-"

“Please tell me you’re not moving in on any of the poor girls at this party, Trouty.” Sam craned his neck over the back of the couch and was met with an upside-down view of Santana’s breasts, encased in a form-flattering red dress with a very deep v-neck.

“What, Santana, are you calling dibs?”

Santana flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked around the room, eyes locking in on a woman with long, sleek black hair that fell all the way to her perfectly round ass.  “Maybe her.  Later.  But none of these girls need to deal with your sappy clingy romantic shit.”

Sam bit his tongue, willing himself not to give the weak rebuttal of ‘I’m not clingy.’  “I heard you had a girlfriend, though,” he said instead.

“And I heard you didn’t,” Santana retorted, twisting the knife.  Sam even dramatically clutched his chest, causing Santana to roll her eyes. “Olivia and I broke up two weeks ago, get with the program.”

“Sorry I don’t keep up with the love life of the girl who insists on insulting me every time we meet.”

Santana smirked, rounding the couch and sitting with her legs crossed, looking as though she came straight out of a fashion magazine.  “So, what was that earlier?”

“What was what?” Sam asked.  He reached over to grab his glass of wine from the coffee table, and only then realized that Tina had finally gotten bored and was taking a small nap on his shoulder.  She slid off his shoulder with a start, then got off the couch, claiming that she needed some appetizers.  Sam asked if she could grab some strawberries and chocolate, then turned back to Santana.

“‘That’ is whatever the fuck happened with Kurt earlier.  And Blaine.  But mostly Kurt.”

“‘What happened’ meaning…” Sam asked, even though he had a good guess.  He just didn’t know how Santana would have already heard about it.

“Rocky Horrible, you were being a complete bitch back there.  And that’s coming from the queen bitch herself.”

“He started it,“ Sam grumbled.  Santana rolled her eyes.

“I mean, it’s not like I wasn’t impressed.  It just wasn’t you.  And why are you bitching back at Kurt anyway?”

Sam stayed silent.  He knew that Santana was right; the way he’d acted wasn’t like him at all, but since he realized his feelings for Blaine, Kurt’s everything seemed to grate on his nerves, even if it wouldn’t have before, and he’d felt like he couldn’t resist rising to the bait.  Especially when Kurt was overshadowing Blaine without either of them even noticing.  Sam thought pettily, if Blaine were his boyfriend, he would shine as bright as he freaking wanted to, if only Blaine would open his eyes and see - 

“You haven’t been taken over by the green-eyed monster, have you?” Santana asked, leaning closer and peering at Sam as though she were trying to see right through his skin.  Sam shrank back, uncomfortable under her gaze.

“I mean, I have green eyes-“

“No, Score 340, I mean are you jealous?”

Sam gulped.  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I knew it!” Santana exclaimed, clapping her hands and throwing her head back to laugh.  It kind of reminded Sam of Ursula, from the Little Mermaid.  (He watched it with Stacey enough in his teens, and occasionally with Blaine on Disney movie marathon nights, don’t judge.)  “You totally want to bang Blaine.”

“I don’t-“

“Seriously, Evans, don’t even try to deny it.  Everyone knows you’ve been ass over heels in love with him at least since college.  My guess is even all the way back to high school.”

Sam frowned, confused.  “I haven’t been, though!  At least…I don’t think?”  Since high school?

Santana scoffed.  “Please.  Don’t even try to deny it.  In fact, I’m willing to bet that’s why all of your relationships - or, dates, or whatever - since then have failed.  They weren’t Blaine.”

“Santana I’m not gay, I like girls-“

“I didn’t say that, I said it was because of Blaine.  They weren’t the person you’re in love with.  Am I right?”

Sam hesitated, then nodded.

“Of course I am.  Auntie Tana always knows,” Santana said smugly.

“So…everyone knows?” Sam asked, almost not wanting to know the answer.

“Everyone except for you, apparently.”  Sam wanted to butt in, say that actually, yes, he did know, but Santana wouldn’t let him.  “And Blaine.  And Kurt.  And probably Finn, too, he never knows anything.”  Sam groaned, leaning his head against the back of the couch.  Santana stood, brushing nonexistent dust off of her dress.

“Well, now we’ve got that figured out.  I should probably warn you that you’re playing with fire.”  Sam picked his head back up, peering at Santana.  “I mean, you’re in love with Kurt Hummel’s boyfriend.  And if shit doesn’t go down hard enough from that, I’m one of Kurt’s bridesmaids.  Groomsmaids.  What the fuck ever.  I’m obligated to take his side.  So you’ll also have me to deal with, if he sics me on you.”  She smiled a toothy smile that reminded Sam too much of a cat honing in on their prey.  “You have fun with that, Sammy.”

She blew Sam a kiss, then crossed the room to the long-haired brunette.  Sam let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, then got up off the couch.

He. Needed. A. Drink.

“Everyone!  Everyone, can you please gather round!”  Kurt called out, clapping his hands together to grab attention.  Sam groaned from his spot on the couch, where he had been leaning against Tina for the past…thirty minutes?  He had lost track of time at least a glass ago.

The rest of the people at the party, who had been drinking more classily and soberly and whom Sam was currently annoyed at for being so dignified, gathered around Kurt, who somehow looked like he was standing above everyone else even though he was still on ground level.  Sam could even see a clear path to him, and to Blaine, who was standing about a foot behind Kurt, waiting for him to make his announcement.

“So, Blaine and I have been discussing,” Kurt said once the crowd went quiet, “and we have a big surprise for the wedding.”

The crowd went impossibly quieter.  Sam thought that the people collectively leaned closer to Kurt in anticipation, though that may have been the alcohol running through his blood.

“If everything works out,” Kurt continued, looking back at Blaine and giving him a smile.  Blaine smiled back, but Sam felt like he was the only one who could see the slightest tinge of annoyance or…disagreement.  This wasn’t about…?

“If everything works out,” Kurt repeated, “Blaine and I are planning on getting married…in Paris!”

Kurt’s audience cheered, thankfully masking Sam and Tina’s simultaneous groans.  Sam momentarily realized that any one of the people gathered closest to Kurt, if they were even going to the wedding, could pay their own plane fare.  They probably even traveled overseas on their own all the time.  That didn’t make Sam want to travel that far any more than he’d wanted to, especially to see the person he loved more than anything marry someone else.

“We’re already in talks with the Hôtel d’Evreux staff, and we can still have the wedding on Christmas Eve.  It will be absolutely perfect.  Start looking at plane tickets now!”  Kurt clapped his hands, gesturing towards the dining section of his apartment.  “Now, we have filets and risotto and cake in the kitchen, so fill your plates and dig in!”

Sam and Tina remained on the couch as the crowd flooded into the next room.  At some point during Kurt’s speech, Sam’s eyelids had fallen shut without him realizing it.  As he peeled them back open, he saw Blaine and Kurt walking slowly behind the crowd and passing directly in front of him, talking quietly to each other.

“So…perfect.”  Sam slurred out, attempting to sit up straight.  “Perfect wedding.”

“Excuse me?” Kurt asked, coming to a halt in front of Sam.  

“God, everything has to be perfect with you, doesn’t it?”  And then he was trying to stand and - nope that wasn’t happening - oh wait, there was Tina’s hand on his back, he could do this.  He wasn’t that drunk, was he?  “Perfect wedding, and perfect decorations -“

“Still with the decorations,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes.

“And the perfect place and perfect trophy husband, and everything is so fucking perfect that nothing is real, is it?  It’s all just a made up fantasy.”  He wasn’t quite sure where he was going from there, but he could hear Blaine’s intermittent noises and “Sam!”’s of protest.

“How are you even going to get everyone over there?  Don’t plane tickets cost like a thousand dollars?  Not all of us can drop money like that like you do on a new scarf-“

“Sam, can you just-“

“Did you even ask?  I mean, you didn’t ask the people attending whether they would even want to fly out to see you, obviously, but did you even ask Blaine?”

“Of course I did!” Kurt protested.

“Really?” Sam retorted.  “Because I know for a fact that Blaine doesn’t even want - “

“SAM!”

The entire apartment fell silent at Blaine’s outburst.  A few people in the other room poked their head in, just enough to see Blaine’s enraged glare that was fixated right on Sam.

“Can I talk to you privately?” Blaine asked through gritted teeth.   He didn’t wait for a response, just turned and walked briskly toward the balcony door.  When Sam hesitated to follow, he turned and jerked his head, pointing outside.

Sam looked back at Tina for reassurance; the scared look on her face resembled exactly what Sam was feeling.  Had he fucked everything up?

At Blaine’s beckoning cough, Sam followed him out the door like a dog with his tail between his legs.

“What the hell was that?”

Sam recoiled, pressing his back against the freezing railing.  It wasn’t like Blaine never cursed; yeah, sometimes he included words from the 1940s in his vocabulary, but the occasional not-so-nice word would slip out if he stubbed his toe on their counter (which he did at least once a week), or if Teddy bit a little too hard, or there was that one time when Blaine and Kurt were in Blaine’s bedroom with the door shut…the one time Blaine tried that at their apartment when Sam was there.  (A very awkward conversation had followed.)

But for Blaine to swear while directing it at Sam, so angrily…

“What do you think you were doing?  Saying all of that shit to my fiancé, and at our wedding shower on top of that!  Why the hell-“

“I was just trying to-“

“Trying to what, Sam?”

Sam groaned, tugging his fingers through his hair.  He was sure it looked awful now, being pulled on top of the snow lightly falling on it, but he didn’t care.  “I was just saying what no one else would!  He’s being a jerk-“

“So are you!”

“He’s completely ignoring you for everything, and no one will fucking point it out!  Blaine, he doesn’t treat you right!”

The sound of Blaine’s hand slapping against the railing, the snow doing nothing to mask the sound, made Sam close his jaw with a snap.

“That’s not for you to decide, Sam,” Blaine fumed, quiet and commanding.  The angry fire in his eyes made Sam shrink back; he felt like Blaine was twice as tall as usual, and he was twice as small.

“You don’t get to worry about how Kurt treats me.  You are my best friend, but mine and Kurt’s relationship is just between him and me.  And for you to try to take things in your own hands, in public, without discussing any of this with me…”

Blaine shook his head, turning his back to Sam and placing his hands on the railing, pushing so his arms were still ramrod straight as he overlooked the city.  “And it’s not just today.  You’ve been acting like this for a while, but you’ve never had the guts to just come talk to me.  And honestly?  I just… I don’t even know who you are right now.  I’ve known you for what, eight? Nine years?  And you’ve never acted like this before.”

“Blaine, I-“

“So, why?”  Blaine turned back around, leaning his back against the railing, and now, though the fire still burned dimly, there was sorrow in his eyes.  “Why are you being such…such a jackass?  And why now?  I thought you were happy about me and Kurt.  I don’t understand.  Is it because I’m marrying him?”  At any other moment, Sam would have laughed.  Blaine couldn’t be closer to the truth.  

“Is it because you feel like you’re going to lose me?”

Sam shrugged, burying his cold hands in his pockets and looking down at his shoes.  “I mean, I am, right?  You’re going to get married, and…”  And I’ll lose my chance.  And we won’t know what we could be together.

Blaine sighed, stepping forward.  “Me getting married isn’t going to change things.  You’re not going to lose me because of that.  I’m still planning on having Sundays with you, or some days like them if our schedules change, and coming to visit Teddy all the time, and to come to you when I need help or when I need a really good laugh or just when I want to be Nightbird and Chameleon.”  That made Sam smile.

“But if you keep doing what you just did in there…then you’ll lose me.”

Sam froze, snapping his eyes up to Blaine’s.

“I won’t let you shit on my fiancé.  A best friend wouldn’t do that, and I can’t even be friends with you if you keep doing it.”

Sam gulped, but nodded.

“And, I mean, in there?  You embarrassed me, and you embarrassed yourself.  And I know I probably sound really patronizing right now, but it’s true.  And I picked you over Cooper for a reason.  Because you are my best friend above everyone else, and I thought I could trust you to support me and help me with any way you could for the wedding, when it’s extremely stressful but extremely amazing.  But in there, you made a complete ass of yourself, getting drunk at a wedding shower and then shitting on one of the grooms.  You know it, I know it, everyone in there knows it.”

Sam bit his lip, but nodded again.  His insides felt shaky, like they were going to burst, both from adrenaline from arguing with Kurt earlier and from getting his shit called out by Blaine.  He clenched his hands in his pockets, trying to get a hold of himself.  Blaine was stepping closer, and he didn’t know how to react, because he wanted to just take Blaine’s hand and run away from there, just the two of them, but he knew that would never happen now.  Blaine’s hands came up to rest on his biceps, lightly squeezing, to draw Sam’s eyes.

“But Sam?  I need you.”

And there, on top of the adrenaline, was his heart clenching nervously.

“I need you, to be my best friend, to support me, to be here.”

Blaine dropped his hands.

“But I don’t need you like this.  I don’t want you like this.”

Blaine fell silent, and Sam realized it was finally his turn to talk.

“So…what do you want me to do?  Do you want me to stay?”  Only as the words left his mouth did Sam truly realize there was a possibility that Blaine might be out of his life forever, not just married to another man.

“I would love for you to stay,” Blaine said, a smile lifting the corners of his mouth.  “But you need to apologize.”

“I’m sor-“

“To Kurt.”

Sam clenched his jaw, but nodded.

“And you need to support me.  Even if you don’t like what I’m doing, for whatever reason, I need you to be there for me.”

“Okay.”

“Promise?”

Blaine held up his hand, extending his pinky.  Sam was surprised at the nostalgic gesture, but after a moment, hooked his pinky with Blaine’s.

“Promise.”

Blaine once again reached up and squeezed Sam’s shoulder tightly.  Sam leaned forward, thinking Blaine was going to pull him into a hug, but Blaine’s hand was already gone.

“I’ll see you inside.”

Blaine walked back through the glass doors and into the warmth of the apartment.  Hot air spilled out and grazed Sam’s front, but after the door shut behind Blaine it was gone.  When he was sure Blaine couldn’t see him, he let out a groan, tugging his hands through his hair again.  He opted to stay outside for a few more minutes, calming himself down and letting the coldness penetrate his skin.

Chapter Text

“Dude, all I’m saying is, Kurt could have asked at least one of those models he works with to be one of his bridesmaids.”

“Groomsmaids.”

“Whatever.  I mean, it would totally balance out whatever weird shit they’ve got going with pairing off guys and girls and whatever anyway, but it also might actually leave someone open to hook up with the wedding,” Puck pointed out, looking around to the other guys for reassurance.  The only one raptly paying attention was Finn; Mike was immersed in his phone, whether to talk to Tina or to talk to an agent, no one really knew, and Sam had been drifting off to thoughts of an absent Blaine the entire afternoon.  Artie would have been there with them, and he probably would have agreed with Puck, but he’d had to catch a flight after the wedding shower that Sam hadn’t even seen him at to go back to L.A. for a few weeks.

“And you need a groomsmaid to hook up with at the wedding because…?” Finn asked.

“Because that’s just what you do at weddings, dude!” Puck said, as if it were obvious.  “But I can’t at this wedding, because the fucking bridesmaids are Rachel and Santana!”

“And what’s wrong with that?”

“You can’t bang them.  Or, I can’t.  Rachel’s married to you.  Santana’s gay.  And I mean, you’re kind of a bridesmaid, but I’m not banging you, dude.”

Finn shrugged, seeing Puck’s point.

“And I’m not saying they’re not good choices.  Rachel and Santana are great.  But a model would have been a totally easy lay.  But apparently there are rules against being close friends with anyone we haven’t known since high school.”

Mike snorted, one ear on the conversation as he continued texting on his phone.  Finn laughed, realizing that what Puck said was true.  Somehow the majority of their class had wound up in New York and managed to stay in each other’s close circles whether they liked each other or not.

“But dude,” Finn said, coming up with a different point, “isn’t it supposed to be the groomsmen that hook up with the bridesmaids?”

“Don’t even talk to me about that,” Puck groaned.  “I’m still bitter.”

“About what?” Mike asked.

“That Kurt didn’t pick him as a groomsmen,” Finn answered.

“I thought he and I were bros!” Puck said.  “At least…kind of sort of!  Since high school!  I mean, I stopped throwing him in dumpsters.  I would have defended him against assholes.  And I’m basically like his stepbrother in law through best friendship!”  He gestured to Finn, who nodded, offering Puck his bag of Cheetos.  Puck grabbed a handful, stuffing the majority of it in his mouth before continuing.

“And what about Blaine?” Puck said, the Cheetos muffling his speech.  “We’ve shared some good times, aren’t he and I bros?”  He turned to Sam, nudging his leg with his fist when he didn’t respond.

“What?” Sam asked, startled out of thoughts of Blaine and the wedding and how badly he’d fucked up last weekend.  Even though he’d apologized, both to Blaine and to Kurt, he was still in the doghouse, trying to get back on Blaine’s good side.  Blaine had been spending more time at Kurt’s since the shower, not coming home until late enough that he would only spend a few minutes with Sam and Teddy before turning in for the night.  It struck Sam as weird, since Blaine told him that Kurt had actually been working even more than usual, and Blaine was doing his share of getting things in order for the overseas wedding, but Blaine claimed that it was easier to focus over at Kurt’s, where there was no one there to distract him.  Sam couldn’t tell if he was telling the truth or just avoiding Sam for the time being, but he missed his best friend.

“Blaine and I are bros, right?”

“Um, yeah,” Sam said, brain still trying to focus in on the conversation that had been going on around him.

“So what’s the deal?”

“…Deal?”

“Dude, where has your head been?” Puck asked, reaching over and scruffing up Sam’s hair.  “You’ve been completely out of it all day.”

“Sorry, guys,” Sam said sheepishly, removing Puck’s hand from his head.  

“What gives?”

“I…” Sam looked around to three pairs of expectant eyes, not really wanting to explain what he’d been thinking about.  Santana’s claim that everyone knew he had feelings for Blaine echoed in his head, but he had no idea how accurate she was.  “Nothing.”

He was met with a resounding groan, mostly from Finn and Puck.  Mike’s eyes were fixated on him, and Sam got the feeling that Mike could see Sam’s thoughts playing on his face like a projector.  He probably knew exactly what Sam had been thinking about, especially since Sam was willing to bet Tina had spilled every last detail that she could remember once she’d gotten home.

“Come on, Evans, we’re not stupid.  Something’s got you all messed up.”  Puck patted his lap, scooting closer to Sam.  “Now tell Dr. Puckerman what’s wrong.”

“I’m not going to tell you if you’re going to act like a pervy psychiatrist,” Sam said, scooting towards the edge of the couch and away from Puck.

“But you are going to tell us?” Puck asked, waggling his eyebrows.  Sam stared at Puck, then at Finn, who had a similarly eager look on his face.  Mike had returned to his phone, but continued to look at Sam over the screen.

“You guys don’t want to hear about this.”

“So, girl problems, then.”

“Not exactly.”  Sam knew the minute the words were out of his mouth that they were a mistake, because now he had to explain to Puck what he meant, or else be pestered about it for the rest of his life.  “Blaine and I are just…going through some shit.”

Puck let out a laugh, leaning back away from Sam.  “Having a lover’s quarrel?”

Sam’s eyes widened comically.  “W-what?”

“Oops, was I not supposed to say that?” Puck asked Finn, still laughing.

So Santana was right.  “How long have you known?”

Puck immediately sobered in surprise.  “Wait, for real?  You’re really in love with him?”

“Dude, you’re in love with my brother’s fiancé?” Finn asked without giving Sam a chance to answer Pucks’s question.  Sam winced; he hadn’t even thought of Finn and Kurt’s relationship.

“I thought you guys kind of knew.  At least, that’s what Santana said,” Sam mumbled, retreating back into himself.

“I mean, we kind of did, we just didn’t know if you knew it or not.”

“Dude, that’s messed up,” Finn commented, but Puck nudged him with his elbow.  

“No, this is awesome.  It’s like a soap opera, but better.”  Puck turned back to Sam, leaning forward and resting his forearms on his knees.  “So?  What’s going down with the super-couple?”

“You’re not screwing him right?  He’s not cheating on my brother?” Finn asked seriously, interrupting Puck.

“No!  No, of course not, I would never, he would never, he doesn’t even know.”  Sam paused.  “I think.”

Puck rolled his eyes, reiterating his question.  “So, dude, what the fuck happened?”

Sam let out a sigh, before diving into his story.  “Basically, I realized I was in love with him right before he got engaged, and I’ve been trying to win him over, but I was a complete douche and it completely backfired.”

“Like at the wedding shower?” Finn asked.  Puck let out a low “oooooh, yeah.”

“Yeah, dude that never works,” he said.  “Heard this tip once, to pick up girls?  Subtly insult one girl and compliment the other so that the other likes you or some shit.  Never works.  They immediately see right through to the douche you are.”

“Thanks,” Sam said, not feeling any better.

Puck turned to Finn.  “Am I right?”

Finn hesitated, looking back and forth between Puck and Sam.  “I mean, should we even be giving him advice?  He’s kind of trying to steal my brother’s fiancé away from him.”

Puck gave him a pointed look.  Finn sighed.

“I mean, okay.  Yeah.  I used to do that too.  Like I thought it was a good idea at the time, but honestly the worst times for me and Rachel was when I was being a douche to the other guys she liked.  When we were broken up, the really good times were when I was just trying to be really really good to her, instead of talking about how awful the other guys were.  Even if they were total douchebags.”

“Dude, that’s what you totally gotta do,” Puck said to Sam.  Finn blinked, surprised.  “I mean, Kurt’s not a bad guy, and Blaine loves him.  But like, sometimes their relationship is shit.  Everyone but them can see it, but if you try to insult it, they’ll get really defensive.  Especially Blaine.”  Sam nodded.  Been there, done that.

“So,” Puck continued, drawing out the vowel, “what you gotta do is just make Blaine realize that he’s in love with you too.  Be lovey and awesome to him.  Show him that you guys could be the most amazing couple.  And let’s be real, you would be.”  Puck shrugged, ignoring Finn’s frown.

Sam felt like he’d been smacked over the head with Puck’s advice, because once he really thought about it, it felt like it should have been really obvious in the first place.  Every time he talked shit about Kurt, even if it felt true to him, Blaine pulled away from him.  But when he impressed Blaine, when he made Blaine feel good about himself, when he swept Blaine off of his feet without either of them even realizing - that was when they were closest, where Sam felt like he actually had a chance.

“Dude.  That’s genius,” Sam said, finally smiling.

“Duh,” Puck said.  “And we’ll totally be your wingmen and advice givers.”  Finn let out a sound of protest.  “Well, Finn won’t be, he has loyalties.”

“You’re not going to tell Kurt about any of this, will you?” Finn asked.

“Not unless you tell Kurt about me being in love with Blaine,” Sam answered.  Finn grinned.

“And I mean, I actually won’t be there for a lot of it, since I was so kindly unincluded in the wedding,” Puck continued.  “But Artie will be there!  Probably.  I think he’s wanted to make a movie with you two since high school, anyway.  And Mike will be there too!  He’s even right here!”

Mike waved.  Sam realized -

“You knew all of this all along, didn’t you?”

“I was really just waiting for you to figure it out yourself.  And I mean, I’ve been kind of busy, so I couldn’t be there to tell you you were being an ass.  Sorry.”

Mike’s phone went off in his hand.  He turned his attention back to it, but it didn’t look like the kind of text he’d been hoping for.  A second later, Sam’s phone chimed.  He looked down at it, realizing it was Blaine.  His heart skipped a beat as he opened the text.

Don’t forget! Tux fitting tomorrow! See you all then :) 

Sam sighed, hearing Finn’s phone go off, most likely with the same message.  He debated sending something back, but wasn’t sure what to say.

Can’t wait ;), his fingers typed out, his thumb hovering over the send button.  He went back through the text, changing the semicolon to a colon, and pressed send before he could lose his nerve.

“So apparently I’m going to the tux fitting with you guys,” Finn said.  “Weird.  Kurt got his fitted like last week.”

Sam shrugged.  At least he’d have someone who understood on his side, along with Mike.  At that moment, Puck’s phone dinged, and he cheered.

“Sweet!  I’m coming too!”

“Do I really need to try on this many jackets?” Finn grumbled, awkwardly fussing with the collar of his tux jacket.  “I’m not even the lead at this wedding.  I didn’t even try on this many tuxes for my own wedding!”

“We’re just trying to get the best fit,” Blaine said, helping Sam into a jacket a few feet away.  “And I mean, since you’re the tallest, I figured if we could find one that looks great on you, we can tailor the same thing down to everyone else.”  He smoothed his hands down Sam’s lapels, right over his heart.  “This looks great on you,” he mentioned quietly, tugging at the slight peak lapel.

“Thanks,” Sam said, giving Blaine a smile meant for only him.  Blaine met Sam’s gaze, hands still on his chest.

“Why do we have to wear tuxes anyway,” Finn interrupted, though he wasn’t even speaking directly to either of them.  Blaine coughed, stepping away from Sam and over to Mike.  Sam’s chest suddenly felt cold.  “Why can’t we just wear suits?  We all have matching black suits, right?”

Blaine shook his head, ignoring Finn.  Puck raised his eyebrows at Sam, jerking his head in Finn’s direction.  Sam frowned, then realized what Puck meant: after yesterday’s conversation, the guys had discussed a few tactics that might help with getting Blaine to fall in love with Sam.  Mike had suggested helping out with the wedding in the best ways he could, not just the bare minimum, so Blaine could see how dedicated he was, especially to making up for his earlier behavior.  Sam had spent the night researching how to go above and beyond with being a best man.  There wasn’t much to go off of, since a best man didn’t have all that many duties, but he’d worked with what he had.

And now, apparently, was the perfect opportunity to use what he’d learned.

“You can’t just wear a suit if you’re in a wedding party,” he said, stepping towards Finn.  “You wear a tux to look refined.  You’re there to highlight the groom, so you can’t look like a slob.  Especially next to Kurt, I think he’d probably kill you.”  He looked back at Blaine, making sure the comment wasn’t too uncalled for, but he found Blaine laughing to himself.  Pleased, Sam continued.  “I mean, you can’t upstage the groom, either, but you have to be the perfect background, a piece of the puzzle creating a bigger picture.  As a groomsmen, you have to set yourself apart from the rest of the people coming to the wedding.”

He circled Finn, checking out the jacket he had on.  “Since you’re so freaking tall, a black tuxedo with shawl lapels would probably look best.  But notch lapels might also work, since they’ll make your shoulders look broader, which will make your waist look slimmer.”  He placed his hands on Finn’s shoulders, trailing them down lightly to his waist to make his point, but not pressing so hard that either of them were uncomfortable.  Still, Sam could feel Blaine looking at them out of the corner of his eye.  “Really, it’s all about what will make you look the most put together, because anything else will just make you look uncomfortable or kind of sloppy, even if you don’t feel that way.  And that’ll draw attention, which is bad.”

He patted Finn’s shoulders, stepping away.  Puck sent him an exaggerated wink, telling him he’d done well.  Sam laughed quietly in response, but not quietly enough that Blaine didn’t notice.

“Boys, can you stop flirting?” he joked, but there was a slight hint of bitterness to his tone that made Sam curious.  When Sam’s attention was drawn back to Blaine, Blaine had turned back to Mike, intently focused on the collar of his jacket.

“Why, are you jealous?” Puck retorted, hiding an honest question in a joking tone, just as Blaine had.  Sam bit his lip, waiting for Blaine’s answer to the opportunity Puck took that Sam couldn’t take himself.

Blaine scoffed, but a light blush tinted his cheeks.  “Very funny, Puck.  Not like I’m getting married or anything.”

“Oh, yeah, that,” Puck said, but he winked at Sam again.  

The person assisting them, Daniel, stepped into the sectioned-off room, arm full of more tux jackets.  “These are for Blaine,” he announced, placing the jackets on a table close to Sam.  He gave Sam a quick, flirty smile as he left the room.  Daniel had been flirting with Sam all day, and while Sam enjoyed the attention, he didn’t return it.  He did chance a glance at Daniel’s ass as he walked away; good, but not as good as Blaine’s.

That was how Sam found himself lately, ever since he’d realized that, yes, he really was attracted to guys, too.  He could find other men attractive, just as he found women attractive, but he didn’t want them any more, not like he used to.  He just wanted Blaine.

Blaine walked over to the table, frowning as he rifled through the jackets.  “What’s up with him?” he mumbled to Sam, plucking a jacket from the middle of the stack.

“Guess he just thinks I’m cute,” Sam said, gauging Blaine’s reaction.

Blaine scoffed.  “Do you need me to tell him to back off?”

“I don’t mind, but you could if you wanted to,” Sam said.

Blaine pulled the jacket over his shoulders.  “Just make out with Puck over there, you two have been fooling around all day anyway.”

“Nah, I don’t want to make out with Puck.”  Sam eyed Blaine carefully, laying his hidden entendre on thick.  But Blaine didn’t catch it.

“Good.”  Blaine snapped the lapels of the jacket in his hands, smoothing them down across his chest.  Sam stood behind him, hands running over the jacket across Blaine’s back.

“Hey.”

Blaine locked eyes with him in the mirror.

“Are we okay?” Sam asked.  He was talking about everything between them, especially what happened at the party, not just messing around with Puck, and he hoped Blaine understood that.

The tension eased out of Blaine, small frown lines turning into a gentle smile.  “Yeah.  We’re okay.”

He turned from side to side, examining himself in the mirror.  Sam tracked his movements with his eyes

“What do you think?” Blaine asked.

“Looks too big,” Sam answered honestly.

“Well, it’s a test-“

“No, I’m just talking about the lapels, not the actual size.  It’s not the most flattering for you.”  Sam examined a few jackets lying on the table, his fingers grazing across one that caught his eye.  “Does your tux have to be black?”

Blaine looked surprised at the random question, but answered, “No.  I mean Kurt hasn’t- he’s wearing white, and black’s not really a main color for the wedding, so I don’t see why I’d have to.”

Sam held up the jacket.  “What about grey?” he suggested.  “Having a different color tux would really make you stand out from us, and it’d look good with the girls’ blue dresses.”

Blaine took the jacket from Sam, looking over it before shrugging out of the one he had on with Sam’s help.  “You think?”

Sam nodded, pointing out parts of the jacket once Blaine had it on.  “It’s got the same lapels as mine and Finn’s, which will make your shoulders look broad and your waist look slim.  Except it’ll look even more awesome on you, dude, since your waist is pretty tiny.”  He turned Blaine towards the mirror, placing his hands on Blaine’s waist, much heavier than he had on Finn’s.  “And that’ll lead down even further, and I know they say the tux is supposed to end under your butt, but you need to make sure it’s literally right under, because it will make your ass look fantastic.”

Blaine coughed, choking on spit at Sam’s words.  Sam patted him on the back a few times, but returned his hands to Blaine’s waist once he’d recovered.

“I really like this one on you,” he murmured, so that only Blaine could hear.  He wasn’t sure, but he thought Blaine might have shivered.  “It fits well.  And you’re going to really shine up at the front of the ceremony.”

Blaine blushed, but shook his head.  “I like it too, I like it a lot, but Kurt’s going to be the one that shines.  He’s wearing…Armani, I think.  He asked me if I wanted to wear designer too, but I didn’t really-“

“No, you are going to shine,” Sam interrupted, gently encouraging Blaine to turn to face him.  “It’s just who you are.  It’s in you.  You have this quality that draws people to you, that just makes you, like, radiate.  The tux isn’t going to create that, it’s just going to compliment it.  It’s all you, Blaine.”

Blaine gulped, eyelashes fluttering as he blinked.  He opened and closed his mouth a few times, then looked around the room.

“Where did everyone else go?”

Sam swiveled as Blaine broke away, stepping towards the curtained doorway.  Sure enough, the other three guys in the room had disappeared.  Blaine poked his head out the door and apparently found them outside, calling them to come back in.  Sam couldn’t hear their muffled response to why they had left.

As they filed in, Blaine took his place back in front of the mirror, checking out the jacket’s fit.  “I really do like this, Sam,” he said.  “And I like the one you and Finn have on.  I think we’ll take it.”

Sam grinned.

“So we’ll just get our measurements taken and put down our deposits, then we’ll be out of here.  And we’ve already got Cooper and Artie’s measurements, we got them before they left for L.A.., so we can go ahead and get their tuxes too.  Oh, and Sam,” Blaine said, turning to Sam as he took off the jacket, “can you come with me to something important after this?”

“What is it?” Puck pried, mouth full of some snack he must have found outside their room.

Blaine looked at Puck, startled, a blush rising on his cheeks.  Clearly, it was something Puck, or anyone in the room but Sam, wasn’t supposed to know.

“It’s…it’s a surprise.”

Chapter Text

“Dude, where are we?”

At the forefront of the store Blaine had guided Sam into had been displays of women’s lingerie, anywhere from classic sexy corsets and baby doll dresses to kinkier roleplay costumes, but further toward the back were…toys.  Toys that Sam had heard of, even checked out and fantasized about a few times, but he never really imagined that they came in such a variety.

Blaine walked straight past the toys, not even sparing them a glance, and Sam wondered briefly how accustomed Blaine was to the sight, or if he was carefully avoiding them instead.  He bee-lined to the back wall to a rack of what looked like more lingerie, hundreds of panties hanging from floor to ceiling.

“So I thought it might be nice if I wore something…special, for mine and Kurt’s wedding night.”

Sam coughed.  Those panties were meant for…oh.

“And I mean, you’re my best friend, so I thought maybe you could help me out.  You’ve got good taste, and I mean, you’ve been around this stuff before, right?”  Sam was confused for a moment, before realizing Blaine was talking about his stripping history.  He nodded, unable to form words.  Yes, he’d seen other guys in teeny tiny shorts that left almost nothing to the imagination, but those guys weren’t Blaine.

“So you’ll do it?” Blaine asked, looking hopeful.

“Y-yeah, sure,” Sam croaked out.  Blaine grinned.

“Great!  Help me pick some out.”

After grabbing a handful of panties each in Blaine’s size, they both retreated to the dressing rooms, Sam groaning on the inside.  (How the hell was he supposed to handle seeing Blaine in all of those?)  Blaine grabbed a pair off of the top of the stack, one of the more concealing ones, and disappeared behind the curtain hanging in front of a small cut-away section.

“So, is this like, an idea you and Kurt came up with?  The pa… the… yeah?” Sam asked awkwardly as he sat on the conveniently placed couch, unsure of what else to say at that moment.  Getting his mind off of thinking about Blaine in lingerie would probably be helpful in not reverting to a horny teenager, but all completely non-sex-related topics had disappeared from his brain.

“No, I just thought I would surprise him,” Blaine said, slightly muffled by the curtain.  Sam nodded, even though Blaine couldn’t see him.

“Well?  What do you think?”

Sam lifted his head to look at Blaine as he stepped out from behind the curtain.  He gulped.  Blaine had left his chest bare to give the full effect, perfect planes on his chest leading down to his slightly rounded stomach that Sam loved.  He’d chosen a pair of boxers with a tuxedo design, the white ‘shirt’ putting emphasis on his…well.

“I…” Sam’s voice broke off in a crack, which he attempted to cover with a cough.  Blaine circled around himself, checking out all angles in the dressing room mirror.  The tight silk hugged Blaine’s ass perfectly, making Sam’s groin twitch with interest.  Fuck.

“I mean, you look good,” Sam tried again, his voice coming out much more evenly.  “Really good.  But I kind of think the design is a little too…”

“Cliche?” Blaine answered.  Sam nodded.  “Yeah, I thought that too.”  He walked back over to the table, bending over to sort the remaining panties and giving Sam an amazing view of his ass.  Sam clenched his teeth until Blaine turned around, a red thong in his hands.  Fuck.

“Maybe this one next?”

“Dude, I mean, are you sure you want to try on a thong?  What if other guys have tried it?”

Blaine frowned, eyeing the thong.  “Well, I mean, I tried on the one I have on.”

“But that one’s not strung up through your ass.”

“Good point.”  Blaine dropped the thong.  Sam let out a small sigh of relief.  Grabbing the next pair, Blaine walked back behind the curtain. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

Sam waited patiently and quietly, not even attempting to make small talk as he tried to prepare himself for what he was about to see.  From just the sight in Blaine’s hand, being able to see Blaine’s skin through the fabric, he thought he might spontaneously combust.

“Oh.”

Blaine was still behind the curtain.  Sam focused on his voice, wondering if there was a mirror inside the partition that allowed Blaine to see before Sam could.  The curtain moved back slowly, Blaine stepping out more shyly than the first time.

Oh.

Much like the first pair, the panties constricted across Blaine’s groin, tightly accentuating the area.  The black stood out against his skin; only, this time, the lacy fabric showed through, allowing Sam to see Blaine’s hips, his muscled vee, and the clear bulge of his dick, even though the panties didn’t show anything too specific.  Blaine turned to look in the mirror, revealing his completely lace-clad ass.

“Fuck.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Blaine blushed anyway.  “Do you think these are good.”

“They’re, um, they’re amazing,” Sam said honestly, slightly tugging at the collar of his shirt.  “They look fantastic on you.”

“Thanks,” Blaine said, smiling.  He began examining himself in the mirror, skimming his hands down his body from his waist to over the panties.  “They fit really well,” he mused, as if Sam needed telling twice.  “And the lace will feel really good when…”  His fingers scratched over the lace.  Sam imagined his own fingers rubbing there instead, his hips, his mouth.

Sam subtly picked up a pillow on the couch next to him and placed it on his lap.

Blaine caught Sam’s gaze in the mirror, and Sam felt frozen to the spot, both of their eyes burning with something.  “They feel sexy.”

“You are sexy,” Sam said honestly, the words out of his mouth before he even knew what he was saying.

“Thank you,” Blaine whispered.  Sam couldn’t even hear him, but he could see his lips mouthing the words.  “I think they’ll work,” he continued, louder as he came back to himself.  Walking quickly towards the partition, he moved behind the curtain and closed it with a snap.

Sam finally let out a deep breath, leaning his head back against the wall.  His muscles ached with the restraint of not jumping Blaine then and there, though he found himself incredibly thankful for the several feet that had separated them.  He closed his eyes, the vent above him beginning to blow cool air that soothed his heated skin.

“Ready?” Blaine appeared before him, hand balled into a fist with the panties inside.  Sam hopped to his feet eagerly.  He needed to get out of there, pronto, before he did anything stupid.

The cold December air nipped at Blaine’s skin, stinging as the wind whipped by, but he didn’t mind.  It felt good after the stifling tension back at the lingerie store.

Blaine followed the crowd on the sidewalk, holding a bag tightly in one hand and his phone in the other, the screen reading a text from Kurt: ‘Come over to my apartment, I’ve got a surprise for you ;)’.  The bag discreetly held his purchases from the lingerie store, covered by bright red tissue paper.  At the last minute, he’d grabbed a pair of simple black silk briefs, the same shape as the others he’d tried on but somewhat less racy.  However, in the bag they covered the lacy panties, which had been shoved down in the bottom.  Blaine liked the way they looked on him, but he didn’t know if he could face Kurt in them, knowing how he’d felt when Sam had seen him in them.

Mentally, he hit himself for the fifth time since he’d left the store.  What had he been doing back there?  The lingerie was supposed to be a surprise for Kurt, but as he’d tried to imagine how they would feel in the moment, on his wedding night, in his mind the hands had become bigger, the shoulders broader, the chest more muscled, and suddenly it was Sam above him, holding him down and - 

It had to have been the weird combination of the store and his best friend being there.  That was all.  He was just tired from all the planning, and his brain had been making up things, and it was all nothing.  Absolutely nothing.

Well.  It’s not like the way Sam had been looking at him had helped, but -

No.  He had been making that up in his head, too.  He was just…ridiculously horny lately.  And losing his mind.

And besides, Sam had been even more eager to leave the store than he was.  Blaine honestly had to convince himself not to be upset at how happy Sam had been when Blaine had gotten the text from Kurt, allowing Sam to have their apartment to himself.

His phone buzzed in his hand.  He spared a glance at it as he stopped at a crosswalk, even if the rest of the crowd ignored the solid red hand lit up across the street.  Another text from Kurt.  Hurry!! :DD  Blaine smiled before pocketing his phone.  He only had one hand to text with, and he would reach Kurt’s apartment before he could finish his reply.  But his fiancé must have been extremely excited about whatever it was, because he rarely used emoticons.  He was so much better at finding the words to describe how he felt.

Blaine came to a halt, already in front of Kurt’s apartment building.  He sent a quick ‘Here!’ text, waiting for Kurt to buzz him in.  Kurt had wanted to get him a key, but the landlord refused.  Apparently it was too risky for such an upscale building.  

A motion from above drew his eye - Kurt was standing at his window, waving down at Blaine while his phone was in his other hand.  Blaine grinned, waving back as well as he could, before Kurt disappeared from view.  The door let out a buzz and a click, allowing Blaine to enter.

After the elevator ride and the walk down the hall to Kurt’s apartment, Blaine was met with an armful of Kurt as soon as he walked through the door.

“Oh!” Blaine laughed, air rushing out in a gush as Kurt squeezed him.  “Hi, baby!”

“Mmm, hi,” Kurt said, giving Blaine one last squeeze before pulling back and kissing him full on the mouth.  Blaine sighed into the kiss, pulling Kurt closer with his forearms, phone and bag still in his hands, as he kissed Kurt harder.

“Hi,” he breathed when they pulled apart.  Kurt smiled, hands trailing down Blaine’s arms until he reached his hands.

“What’s this?” he asked, his fingers nudging at the bag.  “Is this for me?”

Blaine quickly yanked his hand away, setting the bag down on a chair near the doorway.  “It’s a surprise.  It’s for the wedding,” he soothed, kissing Kurt’s resulting pout away.  “You can wait a few weeks, can’t you?”

“I guess,” Kurt said, but Blaine could tell he wasn’t upset.  “Oh, and speaking of…”  Kurt’s eyes brightened instantly as he walked over to the counter, where papers lay strewn in a very uncharacteristically unorganized manner.

“What’s all this?” Blaine asked as he sat at one of the raised stools.

“This is my surprise,” Kurt announced, looking as though he were about to burst with excitement.  “So you know I’ve been working a lot more lately.”

Blaine nodded, knowing that all too well.  He told himself it would just make their honeymoon period all that more sweet.  

“Sorry, sorry, I know,” Kurt winced, “It’s just that - okay, I’ve just had to arrange a lot of things to get this put together.”

“And this all has to do with the wedding?” Blaine asked, picking up one of the papers.  All he could see was the layout of…was that an apartment?

“Well, more like after.”  Kurt began bouncing on his toes as Blaine peered closer at the paper, attempting to read the description.  Kurt seemed like he wanted Blaine to piece the puzzle together, but Blaine couldn’t make any sense of it, since the description was in French.

“Are…are we moving?”  They hadn’t discussed much of their living situation after the wedding.  Blaine had figured he would just move in with Kurt, since Kurt’s apartment was a large loft that would be more than enough space for the both of them.  Any time Blaine had tried to bring it up, Kurt had avoided the topic.  He suddenly realized this was why.

Kurt nodded excitedly.  “Even better.  There’s a job opening.”

Blaine looked down at the paper again, zeroing in on the French text.  “…Where?”

“Paris!” Kurt squealed.  “Blaine, they want me to work at Paris Vogue!”

Blaine’s heart fell down to his stomach.  “Paris?”

“Isn’t it amazing?” Kurt asked, voice sharp, as if he were trying to push his excitement onto Blaine.  He huffed out a deep breath, suddenly frustrated.

“How long have you known about this?” Blaine asked instead of answering Kurt.  He placed the paper back down on the counter with a slight snap.

Kurt sucked on the inside of his cheek, rapping his fingers against the counter.  “Since before we got engaged.”

“Since-“

“It wasn’t official!” he explained quickly.  “I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to jinx it!”

“So you were just going to drop this bomb on me?” Blaine asked.  Kurt said nothing, his chest heaving as he blew hot air out through his nose.

Blaine shook his head, grabbing another paper on the counter and reading it briefly, not even absorbing the contents before slapping it back down.  “And you took the job?”

“Of course I took the job!  Why wouldn’t-“

“When do they want you in Paris?”

Kurt paused again.  “After New Year’s.”

“New Y-“ Blaine spluttered.  “So, what?  We weren’t going to talk about this?  We weren’t going to discuss the pros and cons-“

“What cons could there be, it’s Paris!” 

“Other than packing up and moving my entire life halfway across the world?”

Kurt fell silent, cheeks still hollowed.  “I thought you’d be happy,” he said, quiet yet angry.  “I thought you liked Paris.”

“As a vacation spot!” Blaine exclaimed, hands flailing in the air to punctuate him.  “What about my career?  What about my family?  What about my friends, what about -“

“-About Sam?”

Blaine had never heard Kurt say his best friend’s name with so much venom before.  “Yes, about Sam.  Is there something wrong with me wondering what would happen to our relationship if I moved ten thousand miles away?”

“Oh my god, Blaine, it is not that far-“

“Who cares, it’s still an ocean between me and my best friend!  What’s so wrong with worrying about that?”

“Nothing,” Kurt snapped.  “Just - nothing.”

They both fell silent, Kurt fuming to himself, Blaine trying to decipher what he’d left unsaid, and wondering when the hell the sudden animosity between his best friend and his fiancé had started or why it even existed.

“Your career will be fine,” Kurt said, addressing Blaine’s first point and completely ignoring his last.  “You’re an actor.  It’s not like they don’t have theater in Paris.”  Blaine really hated Kurt’s tone at that moment, how it seemed to be designed to make Blaine feel stupid.

“But I’ve been building a reputation here.  In New York.  And I’d have to learn a whole other language, and it’s just not that simple, Kurt-“

“Well excuse me for not understanding the hardships of theater, Blaine,” Kurt snapped bitterly.

“Oh, are we bringing that into this now?  Are you suddenly resentful that you chose fashion over theater?  Not like because of that you got this incredible opportunity or anything-“

“So you admit that it’s incredible!”

“Of course it’s incredible!” Blaine said.  “That doesn’t make it right to make that big of a decision without talking to the person you’re marrying!  It’s not right to assume I would completely change my life for you, again-“

“Oh, it’s about that now-“

“-And to not even think about the fact that it would be ripping away the people I love and the career I’ve worked hard to build and any opportunities I might have-“

“Just like the opportunity you’re going to rip away from me now?”

Blaine slammed his hands down on the counter, standing up in a rage.  He said nothing, turning away and taking deep breaths before he completely lost his temper.

“It’s not like I asked you to do this right before you did your first run on Broadway,” Kurt said quietly behind him.  “You’re at a lull right now.  You’re not getting cast.  You know it and so does everyone else, but no one cares because you’ve been so busy helping with the wedding.”  Blaine heard Kurt move closer, around the counter, but Kurt didn’t try to touch him, though his voice was more gentle.  “But you’ll charm them so well over there.  That’s what you do, you’re such a leading man.  And it won’t be that hard to pick up a new language,” he joked, though Blaine didn’t laugh.

Blaine gripped the back of the couch in front of him, his knuckles turning white.  He wanted to please Kurt, of course he wanted to please Kurt, but he couldn’t just sit and take moving to Paris with no say in the matter.  He was fine with letting Kurt call the shots most of the time, when it was nothing that could hurt Blaine, but he had crossed a line this time.

“Why didn’t you ask me first?” he asked one more time.

“Because I thought you’d be okay with it.”

Blaine spun around, looking Kurt in the eye.  “Never do that again.  Ever.”  Kurt nodded, but Blaine stepped forward, emphasizing his point.  “I’m dead serious.  We are a partnership.  You have to talk about this things with me, or else our relationship will suffer.”

Kurt gulped, but grew hopeful as he realized what he thought Blaine was implying.  “…So does that mean we’re moving to Paris?”

Blaine pursed his lips, but didn’t deny it.  “Just give me one thing.”

“Anything.”

“I want the wedding to be in New York.”  Kurt’s eyes widened.  “Let’s have it at the St. Regis.  I just… I need this last thing in New York.  It’ll be like a goodbye.”

Blaine could tell Kurt wasn’t a hundred percent pleased with Blaine’s request, but he still nodded.  “Okay.  We’ll have it here.”  Kurt smiled, leaning forward to brush his lips against Blaine’s cheek, but Blaine turned away.

“You call Ms. Conners.  I’m going home.”

Chapter Text

“This dress needs to seal the deal, make a grown man kneel-“

“But it can’t come right out and say bride!”

“Can’t look like a desperate whore-“

“Tina, that’s not the words!”

“I’m sorry, it’s just what I heard the first time I listened and I keep forgetting it’s wrong!”

Sam pushed the slightly cracked door to open slowly, revealing Blaine and Tina in Blaine’s bedroom.  He leaned against the doorframe as they continued to laugh and banter, Tina shoving clothes into a suitcase, Blaine carefully arranging picture frames in cardboard boxes.  Teddy, who had been chewing on a bone in the corner, ran to greet Sam with a smile and wagging tail.

“Omigod you guys!” Sam shrieked in time with the music, voice just as high pitched as Elle Woods’.  Without missing a beat, Blaine and Tina squealed ‘omigod!!’ right back at him as Sam leaned down to give Teddy a good belly scratching.

Tina hopped over to give Sam a hug as Blaine jumped up on the bed, continuing to belt out Elle’s lyrics on his own.

“Love is like, forever, this is no time to economize,” Tina sang to Blaine in response, looking up at Sam through the corner of her eye and giving him a nudge with her hip.  Sam waggled his eyebrows.  Blaine, paying no attention to their silent plotting, continued to jump on the bed in time with the music.

Unsurprisingly, he was caught completely off guard when Sam and Tina tackled him down onto the bed.

“Guys!” Blaine gasped through laughter, twitching away from Sam’s tickling fingers though he was pinned down by Tina’s hold.  “Guys, okay!  Uncle, uncle!”

Sam flopped down on Blaine’s left side, chest heaving with exertion, as Tina did the same on Blaine’s right.  They laid in silence as the song shuffled to a perky upbeat dance number from the same musical, before Blaine stretched his arms around both Sam and Tina’s shoulders and tugged them close.

“I love you guys,” he said, squeezing them together.  Sam shifted his arms around until they were comfortable, one arm draped around Tina’s back, the other behind Blaine’s head. He leaned in close, comforted by the smell of Blaine’s cologne.

“We love you, too, Blainey,” Tina murmured.  Blaine gave her an extra squeeze before they all pulled back, ending the moment before it could get too serious, though there was still some tension in Blaine’s face that had nothing to do with messing around earlier.

Sam fell flat back onto the bed, apparently farther than the first time since his shoulder and arm hit the open suitcase, almost knocking it off.  Sitting up, Sam noticed that not only was the suitcase almost packed to the brim with clothing, but the walls had been completely stripped and there was already a stack of full cardboard boxes by the door.

“Abandoning me already?” he asked.  “Dude, the wedding isn’t even for two weeks and half your room is already packed.  Can’t you wait till after?  It’s not like you’re going to ship all of this off to Paris with you.”

“That’s what I said, but Blaine likes to be so organized,” Tina teased, also sitting up.  They both laughed, Sam thinking about the alphabetical state of the sheet music in the living room and the perfectly compartmentalized fruits, vegetables, and milk cartons in the fridge.  He looked back to Blaine, smiling, but found him completely sober, eyes focused on nothing.

“Hey, what’s up?” Sam asked, nudging Blaine’s knee.  Blaine looked up, suddenly alert, and shook his head.

“Oh, I was just…thinking.”

“Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Ha ha, very funny.”  Blaine paused.  He cleared his throat nervously.  “Um.  The wedding’s not in Paris.”

Sam’s heart jumped.  Tina actually let out a cheer, exciting Teddy so much that he raced over from his spot in the corner to jump on the bed and curl up next to Blaine.

But Blaine still wasn’t smiling.

“Dude, aren’t you happy?  This is what you wanted!”

“I mean, yeah.  Yeah, I’m happy,” Blaine assured, but Sam wasn’t convinced.

“Is there something else?” Tina asked.

“I’m…I’m not moving this stuff into Kurt’s apartment.  I mean, I’m not moving into Kurt’s apartment.”

Tina opened her mouth, but Sam shook his head at her before she could make an inappropriate joke about the wedding being off.  Blaine’s face clearly said it wasn’t the time.

“So what are you doing?” he asked.

“We’re moving into a place together,” Blaine began to explain, but stopped.

“Okay,” Sam said.  “Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?”

Blaine didn’t respond.  Sam and Tina looked to each other, both wearing confused expressions, but said nothing, hoping Blaine would elaborate.  Even Teddy’s ears perked up, waiting to see if Blaine would speak.

“We’re moving to Paris.”

“What?”

“Tina-“

“He can’t just make you do that, he-“

“Tina, please-“

“Blaine, it’s not fair for you to-“

“Tina.  Please.”

Tina fell silent at Blaine’s resigned tone.

“It’s happening.  I’m moving.”

He reached over and squeezed her hand, trying to coax her to understand.  She nodded, then looked back and forth between Blaine and Sam.

“I think I’m going to go.”  She stood, then leaned forward, kissing Blaine on the cheek.  “Just…be careful?”

Blaine nodded.  Tina gave Sam a wave, Teddy a scratch on the head, then closed the door behind her.  

Sam focused on his hands in his lap, Blaine shifting beside him to tuck his legs up under himself.  In the background, the music changed to the first chimes of the musical’s ballad.

“So.  The wedding’s not in Paris.”

“No.  I asked Kurt… he’s doing this for me.  Because…”  But he said nothing more.

Sam sniffed, rubbing his hands together tightly, intertwining the fingers and gripping the palms and doing whatever he could to keep himself grounded.  Paris.

“Are you mad?”

“No.”  Sam shook his head.  “I’m not mad.  I’m just…”  He closed his eyes, which were becoming wet.  “Sad.  I’m really sad.”  He looked up at Blaine, who looked equally as upset.  “I know you don’t really want me to ask this, but…is this really what you want?”

Blaine took in a deep breath, already nodding, and Sam could tell that what was about to come out of his mouth wouldn’t be an honest answer.  “Yes, I mean, it’s a beautiful city, and it’ll be nice to build a new life with Kurt, and…”

“Are you just telling yourself that?” Sam asked bluntly.  Blaine hesitated, then let his shoulders collapse.

“Sam, I can’t take this away from him.  And what I want most is to be with him.”

‘Wow, that didn’t hurt at all,’ Sam thought as he looked up to the ceiling light, trying to hold back the tears filling his eyes.

“Sammy…”

“I’m sorry, it just…” Sam blinked, wiping at his cheeks, “it really sucks to feel like I’m losing you.”  Teddy whined, nuzzling his nose into Sam’s thigh.

Blaine shook his head, his voice thick.  “You’re not losing me.  You’re never going to lose you.”

Sam laughed, a cold and empty sound coming out.  “Blaine, we had a hard enough time keeping in touch when you were over there for three weeks.  This is…”  He could not say forever.

Blaine reached across Teddy, gripping Sam’s shoulders tightly and forcing him to look at him.  “This is not goodbye.  I won’t let this be goodbye.  I’ll travel back here as often as I can, I’ll call you every day, I swear, I…” He faltered, a tear falling down his cheek.  “Sam…it’s going to be okay.  We’ll be okay,” he said, choking on a sob.

“And what about you?” Sam asked, reaching up to hold Blaine’s arm.  Blaine shrugged, dropping his hands so that they rested at Sam’s elbows.

“I mean, I’m just trying to look at it this way.  I changed my life for Kurt before, and it brought me one of the best things in my life.  It brought me you.  Maybe it’ll happen again.”

“So are you just going to replace me?” Sam asked, only partially joking.

“I could never replace you,” Blaine said seriously.  He tugged Sam closer, puling him into a hug, pressing their chests as close together as they could get.  Sam honestly didn’t know how he would ever let go.

As he buried his face in Blaine’s shoulder, he distantly heard the male lead of the musical sing, ‘I need you to stay…’

“I love you,” he whispered, only barely uncovering his lips and wondering if Blaine could even hear.

Blaine squeezed him together.  “I love you, too, Sammy.”

Sam’s heart clenched.  He regretted saying anything; he would rather have let his feelings go unsaid than have to face hearing how Blaine loved him just as a friend.

Blaine pulled back, letting out a sniff.  “We should get dinner, yeah?  From that Thai place we like?”

Sam nodded, happy to let Blaine make the decision.  Blaine got off the bed slowly, hand trailing down Sam’s arm until it linked with Sam’s hand.  He held it until he couldn’t hold it any more.

When Blaine was gone, Teddy whined at Sam again, licking his hand a few times before circling himself and laying down right in the center of the bed.

“I don’t want him to leave either, buddy,” Sam said, petting Teddy’s back.  Two weeks.  Two weeks to win Blaine over, or not only would he lose his chance, but he would lose his best friend.

At any given time, the “Blam apartment,” as Sam had dubbed it when they moved in, had some sort of noise filling it.  Sometimes it was the two of them playing fetch or tug of war with Teddy; sometimes it was Blaine cheering as he defeated Sam at Mario Kart and won a bet between them; sometimes it was Sam grabbing his guitar and Blaine pulling out his keyboard in an impromptu jam session where neither of them really knew the instrumentals of the songs they were playing, but they sang along anyway and the songs just seemed to come together perfectly.  They would laugh when Teddy joined along, finishing off their trio - or, the way it felt to Blaine, though he was too scared to admit it, their family.

But as Blaine sat on the couch that night, the sun beginning to fall behind the skyline, the apartment was completely silent.

After Blaine had ordered dinner for them both, Sam had come out of Blaine’s bedroom and shut the door, pretending to lock it.  He declared that, for that night, neither of them needed to think of moving, or Paris, or even the wedding.  It would be a night of dinner and a movie until they crashed on the couch from a food coma, and that was it.  Because hell, it might be one of their last Sundays together.  Blaine had laughed, but inside, he was grateful.  He needed a night of normalcy before he got thrust back into everything else.

They’d spent half an hour on the couch together, opting to sit close with Sam’s bare feet tucked up under Blaine’s thighs.  They didn’t talk much, since Sam had immersed himself in his sketchbook and Blaine spent some quality time with Teddy in his lap, Sam smiling at them when he looked up from time to time, but it was thirty minutes of mostly silent comfort that Blaine rarely got from anywhere else.  Almost no one else that he knew understood.

Eventually Teddy had barked, backside wiggling the way it did when he realized he had to pee.  It was Sam’s turn to take him outside, but he was hunched over his sketchbook so intently that Blaine had offered to take him instead so Sam could finish his drawing.  Sam had looked up, realizing what was happening, and insisted on taking his turn, plopping down his sketchbook on the couch before Blaine had a chance to argue.

Which meant Blaine was alone, even just for a few minutes.  In a quiet apartment.  With Sam’s sketchbook right next to him.

Blaine looked around the apartment for something, anything to distract him, but his eyes kept pulling back to the book.  Sam had been working on his drawing right in front of Blaine, and he’d left without asking Blaine not to look like last time, so…it would be okay if Blaine glanced at his drawings, right?  Sam usually let him, no matter how far he’d gotten in the drawing.  And maybe whatever he’d been drawing last time was now complete so Blaine could see it in its full glory.

Blaine pulled the book onto his lap and flipped open to the last page that had been drawn on.

The sketch actually wasn’t complete, but it also wasn’t the same sketch Blaine had seen before.  Sam hadn’t gotten into the intricate facial details yet, but he’d outlined two men in his comic-like style, one blonde whose hair was slightly messy and the other brunette whose hair was gelled down, clearly meant to resemble himself and Blaine.  At the bottom center of the picture was a figure that was supposed to be Teddy, a furry sketch holding his place until Sam filled in his nose and eyes.  Blaine smiled to himself, cherishing the picture.  Once Sam finished, Blaine thought he might ask for the picture, or at least a copy, to take with him.

His fingers hesitated, gripping the previous page between his left thumb and forefinger.  He just wanted to see how far the other drawing had come along.  Sam hadn’t said anything about him not looking, and he’d already seen it before, so there couldn’t be that much harm done if he stole a peek.

He flipped the page.

Instead of a messy scribble of two figures vaguely on a couch as it had been before, some lines had been erased and others made bolder to show that one of the figures was on the other’s lap, arms around his neck.  What made Blaine pause was the fact that the drawing was clearly of two men.  Two men that resembled the two figures in the first drawing that Blaine saw.

Blaine closed the book with a snap.  There was no way… it was probably just something of Sam’s imagination.  Just a coincidence.  Or maybe it was supposed to be a fan thing, Blaine had seen him drawing Teddy and Billy from Young Avengers before, usually as a gift for Blaine.

Whatever it was, Blaine was adding that picture to the list of things he wasn’t thinking about that night.

The front door open, Teddy bounding in with a stick in his mouth.

“What is that?” Blaine asked, trying to clear the nerves in his chest.

“He wouldn’t come in without it,” Sam shrugged, coiling up Teddy’s leash.  Blaine noticed that he had a white sack on his arm.

“Dinner?”

“Yeah, the dude came while Teddy was peeing, so I just went ahead and got it.”  Sam plopped the food down on the coffee table, reaching for his sketchbook.  “Did you peek?”

“W-what?” Blaine asked, jumping, before realizing by Sam’s smile that he was probably talking about the first picture Blaine had seen, the one that was definitely of him and Sam.  “Oh, oh yeah.  Sorry.”

“Nah, you’re fine!  Do you like it?”

Blaine nodded.  “I want a copy when you’re done.”

“Will do,” Sam said, giving Blaine a grin that made his heart skip a beat.  Sam reached forward, grabbing the containers of food before Teddy realized how easily he could steal them, and handing one to Blaine.  “Dig in.”

Blaine opened his box of food, pushing all thoughts of the more intimate drawing out of his head.  Tonight would be completely normal.  That was exactly what he needed, and nothing would get in the way of that.

From: Puck

dude, i heard about paris. from mike, not finn, kinda offended. but rough luck, man, do we need to come up with a new strategy? like a sonic the hedgehog fast method? txt me

From: Tina

I’m having shots. Come over.

From: Santana

Votre vie doit aspirer. (That means your life must suck.  Google translate.)  But for real, Two Directions, I pity you but I’m also laughing.  Just thought you should know.

From: Tina

Okay, Mike hid the tequila somewhere.  But seriously, if you need a shoulder to cry on, or to bitch to, you know I’m your girl.  And I may need you to be my guy, who knows.  Oh, and I need your advice on a dress to wear to that stupid party.  Or Blaine’s advice, but don’t tell him I said the party was stupid.  Text me to let me know if you’re alive and haven’t drowned yourself in alcohol without me, because if you have I’ll never forgive you.   

Sam flipped through the messages, but wound up placing his phone face down on the table next to him instead of responding to any of them.  They could wait until morning.  Right now, he was stretched out on the couch, stomach full and takeout boxes strewn messily across the coffee table while Avengers 2 played on the TV screen with the volume turned down low.  Mostly importantly, Blaine was curled up next to Sam, head on his shoulder as he napped.

He would figure out what to do tomorrow.  Tonight, he was going to savor what was normal, because if things went wrong, in two weeks it wouldn’t be normal any more, it would just be gone.

“Sam? What time is it?” Blaine murmured, blinking his eyes open.  Sam’s hand had been stroking his hair, which had barely been gelled that morning, and with it he gently coaxed Blaine to lay back down on his shoulder.

“Shhh, doesn’t matter.  Just go back to sleep.”

Blaine complied, draping an arm comfortably across Sam’s lap.  Sam reached awkwardly to the other end of the couch, grabbing the blanket strewn across the back and pulling it over Blaine and himself.  The movie was only about halfway over, and Sam was content to watch the rest just like this.

“Sammy?” Blaine said, voice still half-asleep and almost childlike.

“Mmm?”

“I don’t want to go.”  Blaine nuzzled into Sam’s shoulder, chest rising evenly.  He was already asleep.

Sam tucked an arm around his waist, stroking his side with his thumb.

“I don’t want you to go, either.”

Chapter Text

“Cooper!”

“Squirt!”

Blaine immediately groaned as Cooper engulfed him in a hug, deliberately muffling his younger brother.  Sam laughed, standing off to the side as the Anderson brothers’ parents trailed behind Cooper at a much slower pace.  

Cooper pulled back, holding Blaine at arm’s length and looking him up and down.  “Nope.  Haven’t grown a damn inch.”  He ignored Blaine’s spluttering (“It’s only been four weeks, and I’m not that -“), instead reaching out to Sam.  “Samuel!”

“Cooper!” 

Cooper pulled Sam into a bone-crushing hug as well, squeezing the air out of Sam’s lungs.  Out of the corner of his eye, Sam could see Blaine’s mother embrace her younger son, his father standing back with the carry on suitcases.

“Where’s the fiancé?” Cooper asked Blaine.  “Not that I’m not pleased to see old Sammy here!”  He clapped Sam on the back, so forcefully that Sam had to take a few steps in Blaine’s direction to catch himself.

“He’s at JFK, picking up his parents,” Blaine said.  “Where’s your wife?  Hopefully not divorced yet?”

“What little faith you have, little brother,” Cooper said, holding his hand to his chest as if he were wounded.  “She had to go back to L.A. after meeting Mom and Dad.  Has an audition for some daytime soap.  Really hate to break it to you, but she’s not going to make it to the wedding.”

“I’m sure I’ll live.  Good luck to her,” Blaine said.  “No flirting with bridesmaids at the wedding.”

“I would never,” Cooper said.  Leaning closer to Sam, he added, “They’re all unavailable anyway, right?”  Sam laughed and nodded.

Mrs. Anderson stepped forward, holding Blaine’s cheeks in her hands.  “Sweetie, you’re too thin.”

“Moooom-“

“You hush,” she said, swatting lightly at Blaine’s cheek.  “My baby boy is moving to Paris, France, I get to be the stereotypical overbearing mom for four days.”  She reached up and wrapped her arms around Blaine’s shoulders, pulling him down for another hug.

“So.”  Sam turned, hearing a cough behind him.  Mr. Anderson was still standing there, completely poised, but slightly set apart from the others.  Thomas Anderson always had a refined air about him, but at that moment he somehow managed to look awkward.  “How have you been, Sam?”

“Doing fine, Mr. Anderson,” Sam replied.

“Work going well?”

Sam shrugged.  “As well as it can, at a music store.  Still getting a good number of customers.”

“Good, good,” Mr. Anderson nodded.  “Are you going to continue working there after Blaine moves out?”

“I…don’t see why not?” Sam said, confused.

“Well, I just figured, with the apartment, and…” Mr. Anderson shook his head.  “Never mind.  Forget I said anything, it’s not my place.”

Sam suddenly realized what Mr. Anderson meant - Sam wouldn’t be able to afford their current apartment all on his own.  He hadn’t even thought of that, since he’d been trying to avoid thinking of Blaine leaving at all.  He’d have to get another job, one that pays better, or have two jobs, or move out, or get another roommate.  He couldn’t picture anyone taking Blaine’s old room.

“I…I don’t know, sir.  I haven’t really thought of it.”

Mr. Anderson leaned closer, checking to make sure Blaine was still immersed in conversation with his mother.  “Look, son.  I know this whole wedding and Paris thing is sudden, so I can imagine it would throw you off guard financially.  If you need any help, just…call me, okay?  Don’t even worry about it.”

Sam opened his mouth to respond, surprised, but Mr. Anderson gave him a curt nod, clearly stating it was not up for discussion, before turning and talking to Cooper.  Sam should have known better than to even try to argue.  He thought back to his senior year of high school, when Blaine had suddenly come up with a mysterious scholarship that paid most of his tuition at his community college.  The way Mr. Anderson had asked about Sam’s time at college after that, truly invested and interested, had always made Sam suspicious of where the money had come from.

“Dad?” Blaine asked, pulling Sam’s attention.  “Are you going to say hi?”

“Of course,” Mr. Anderson said.  “I just know better than to get in the way of your mother when she’s on a mission.”  He walked over to Blaine, giving his son a hug, as Mrs. Anderson countered him and made her way over to Sam.

“And you too, Sam, you’re-“

“Too skinny, I know, Mrs. Anderson,” Sam laughed as she hugged him, only tall enough that her head reached his chest.

“I should have made you some food, I could have at least made a pie-“

“You never make me food!” Cooper interjected.

“Yes, well.  Sam is special.”  She reached up, patting Sam’s cheek.  “Are you coming to dinner?”

“Oh, I can’t.  There’s no way I can afford-“

“Nonsense, we’ll pay,” she insisted.  Sam looked to Blaine for permission.

“I’m not sure I’m even going to be welcome.  Isn’t it just for like, the families of the grooms?”

“And you’re not family?” Mrs. Anderson said before Blaine could say something similar.  “You’re like a second son to us.  Blaine is like your brother.”

Sam nodded, wondering what she would say if she knew the truth.  Cooper coughed.

“Rachel’s coming too,” Blaine put in.  “I know she’s married to Finn, but it’s not like you being there wouldn’t make sense.”

“Then it’s settled,” Mrs. Anderson said.  “You’re coming to dinner.  No arguments.  Now let’s get out of here so we can get our luggage and you can get out of those ratty jeans.  Sam, I’m taking you shopping later.”

“Mrs. Anderson-“

“No.  Arguments.  And for heaven’s sake, Sam, you’ve known me for seven years.  Call me Laura.”

“-Isabelle’s already sent me pictures of the apartment, it’s absolutely beautiful.  It’s right in the heart of the city, just around the corner from the fashion district, and of course you can see the Eiffel Tower from it, you can see that everywhere, but get this - it’s out of a huge glass window that frames the entire west wall!”

“So have you already packed your things?” Carole, surprisingly managing to get a word in edgewise between Kurt’s excited gushing.  “Are you shipping things over yet?”

Kurt gulped down a sip of his wine, nodding.  “I’ve had movers come and take the pieces of furniture I don’t use often, or have multiples of that I don’t need right now, like the couches.  We’re not going to get new furniture just yet, moving in will be difficult enough.  Right sweetie?”  He nudged Blaine, who snapped out of his thoughts.

“Yup.  No shopping.  Enough’s been spent on this wedding, we can save up for a while.”

The look on Kurt’s face made Sam wonder if that was the right answer - at the very least, Sam guessed Kurt wanted to add a few spring items to his wardrobe as soon as he got to France.

“Speaking of the wedding, is everything all set?  Venue and stuff?” Burt asked, sitting next to Kurt.  The table was carefully arranged so that blood family members were generally sat together, Sam the awkward man out between Cooper and Blaine.

“Absolutely.  I still can’t believe they managed to get us in on Christmas Eve, it’s going to be so per-“ Kurt cut himself off, looking over at Sam, who coughed, looking in any other direction.  “…The best wedding ever.”  He squealed, squeezing Blaine’s shoulder.

“Anyone having dessert?” The waitress asked, suddenly appearing behind Kurt.  “I have a menu if you need it.”

“I’ll pass,” Kurt answered immediately.  “That tux is surprisingly tight, and I need to fit into it in less than a week.”  He looked around, gauging the others’ reactions, almost as if he was expecting them to do the same.

“Let me see that menu,” Cooper said, stretching across the table and accepting it from the waitress.  “I want…the cannoli, please.”  He passed the menu over to Sam challengingly.

“I shouldn’t-“

Cooper kicked Sam under the table.  “If you want one, get one.”  Feeling like he was fifteen instead of twenty-five, Sam opened the menu.

“Um, can I get the tiramisu, please?  Do you want one, too?” he asked Blaine, knowing it was his favorite.  Blaine shook his head.

“Dude, can I see that?” Finn asked obliviously, Kurt frowning.  Sam handed the menu over to Finn, sitting back and letting his shoulder rest against Blaine’s.

“I’d like the cappuccino pie,” he told the waitress.

“Finn, that looks like a lot of food,” Rachel said, reading over Finn’s shoulder.

“It looks delicious!”

“Fine,” Rachel said, turning back to Kurt and asking him about his tuxedo.  Sam was a little surprised that Rachel hadn’t already heard about it in detail, but Mr. Anderson began talking before he could listen in on the conversation.

“So, Blaine, have you had any luck with auditions lately?”

Blaine shrank back in his seat, so minutely that Sam might have been the only one that noticed it.  “Well…no, not really.  I’ve been pretty busy with the wedding, I haven’t been able to go to as many as I’ve liked.”  Blaine looked sideways at Kurt, who was still completely engaged with Rachel.  “And I guess it’s for the best, anyway, because I’m moving in two weeks.  Not like I could take a job.”

Sam frowned.  Blaine had a point, but Sam also knew that Blaine had gotten a call asking him to audition earlier that morning and had had to reject it for that very reason.  Even to Sam, Blaine had put up a front, but Sam could see when he ended the call that his body was itching to go perform, just once.  Making sure Kurt still wasn’t looking, Sam snuck his hand under the table and squeezed Blaine’s knee.  Blaine jumped slightly, looking over at Sam.  He seemed surprised, but he smiled, eyes warm.

“You’re going to pick it back up when you move, right?”

“Yeah, of course.  It’s my career.”

“Are you going to have to do it in French?”

“Well, it is Paris, Dad.  Gotta make the theater understandable to the locals.”

“Don’t you think that’ll be hard?”

Blaine shrugged, still slightly nervous under the interrogation.  Mr. Anderson asked more questions, Sam felt Blaine lean further and further into his arm.  “I figure it’ll help me learn the language a little easier, having to act it out.”

“What’s the market over there like?  Or whatever you call it in theater.  Is theater a big thing like it is in New York?”

“I…” Blaine hesitated.  “I don’t know, Dad.  Probably not as big as Broadway, but it’s still a big city, so there’ll still be theater.”

“And there’s film there, too, if you wanted to get into it?”

Blaine nodded, looking to Cooper, who’s similar career was clearly on his father’s mind.

“But it’s foreign films.  Those usually aren’t as big as Hollywood, even internationally.”

“Dad-“

“Mr. Anderson,” Sam cut in, saving Blaine from having to deflect his father any further.  Blaine sighed in relief, sinking back into his chair slightly.  Sam could tell Blaine didn’t like being reminded that the way his job worked was about to change drastically, but he didn’t want to show it because he was scared of upsetting Kurt.  “Yes, theater is tougher over there, because there’s not as many opportunities.  But Blaine’s so talented that he’ll sweep all of the casting agents off of their feet.  He’ll get a job in no time.”  He looked at Blaine confidently, pleased when he received a grateful smile.

Mr. Anderson didn’t seem like he had any more to say, but even if he did, the waitress came with their desserts before he could.  She delicately placed Sam’s in front of him, handing him a small spoon to accompany it.  Sam looked around, waiting for the others to receive their desserts, before digging in.

“Oh my god,” he groaned, mouth still full of tiramisu.  “This is amazing.”  Cooper and Finn let out similar groans as they took a bite of their own desserts.

Blaine cleared his throat, shifting in his seat awkwardly and looking at Kurt, who was still talking to Rachel.  As Sam took another spoonful of tiramisu, Blaine eyed the dessert.

“Dude, do you want some?” Sam asked.  Blaine hesitated, but caved when Sam waved the spoon in his face.

“Okay.”  He took a bite, covering his mouth to hide his groan of delight.  “Oh my god.”

“Right?” Sam laughed.

“Do you need me to bring another spoon?” the waitress asked.  Sam had completely forgotten she was still there.

“Nah, we can share.  Might give him best friend cooties, but he’ll live.”  Sam took another bite of tiramisu.  The waitress nodded, leaving them to finish their dessert.  The table fell into light chatter, silverware clinking against dishes.  Sam and Blaine passed the spoon back and forth between them, both of them eating in comfortable silence.

“Thank you,” Blaine said when they were through, and Sam knew he wasn’t just talking about the dessert.

“I couldn’t find the tequila, but vodka’s better, anyway,” Tina said, placing the sacks presumably full of liquor on the counter with a thud.  Sam sat up from where he’d been playing video games on the couch, staring at the wide open door behind Tina.

“How did you-“

“Your spare key isn’t very hidden.  And you owe me a drinking night.  Got any tonic?”  Sam shook his head.  Tina sighed, grabbing some glasses from the cabinets and finding the orange juice in the refrigerator.

“Screwdrivers it is.”  She mixed the drink in the glasses, pouring more vodka into both than Sam thought was supposed to be in a screwdriver.  “How was dinner?  Was it complete torture?” she asked as she handed Sam his glass.

“Surprisingly, no,” Sam answered, taking a sip and wincing at the strength of the drink.  “I mean, Kurt talked most of the time, and Blaine was really quiet, but it wasn’t all that bad.”

“Describe how that’s not bad.”  Sam swatted at Tina’s calf, which was pressed up against his leg, her bare feet tucked under his thigh.

“How have you not gotten in as much trouble for talking shit about Kurt as I did?”

“It’s a gift,” Tina said, flipping her hair.

Sam leaned his head back against the couch.  “Well, at least I think stuff with Blaine is working.”

“Yeah?”

“I think he’s getting closer to me.  And I mean, we’ve always been close, that’s a weird way to put it, but like-“

“He’s getting more comfortable?”

“Yeah!  Like, okay, his dad started grilling him on shit, and Kurt was right next to him, and yet he kept leaning into me like he was using me for support.”  Sam blinked.  “Does that sound weird?  Am I making stuff up in my head?”

Tina shook her head.  “No, it’s good.  It’s like a subconscious thing, saying he’d rather be with you.  He’s not exactly as close to realizing it as you’d want him to be right now, with only like half a week before the wedding, but it’s still good.  He just needs a kick in the ass.”

“I wish,” Sam said.  “But it’s also like, I can’t force it.  I can’t make him pick me over Kurt.  And I don’t think I’d want to, anyway.  I want him choose me on his own.”

“You just need more time.”

Sam drank to that.

“Or, I mean, you could just tell him.”

“Yeah, that would go over well,” Sam scoffed.

“I’m just saying!” Tina said, waving her arms out and accidentally sloshing a bit of her drink out of the glass.  “Swift kick in the ass, right?  I’m not saying you should say ‘dude, pick me over Kurt because I’m a thousand times better,’ I’m saying just tell him how you feel.  You only have, like, four days left anyway, and then he’ll be married and moving across the freaking planet.  You really don’t have anything to lose at this point.” 

“Except -“

“His friendship, blah blah blah.  Sam, he’ll be gone.  You’re already losing him anyway, whether you like it or not.  You’re just being chicken shit,” she said, taking a drink.  Sam drank as well, not arguing any further, though the words sank in deep.

“Where is Blaine, anyway?” Tina asked, looking around for Blaine as if she just noticed he wasn’t there.

“Not with Kurt,” Sam said, answering her unasked question.  “He’s helping his family into the hotel, spending time with them and all that jazz.”

“Ah,” Tina said.

Sam swirled his drink in the glass, already starting to feel the calm comfort that comes with the first sips of alcohol.  He didn’t even know if Blaine was coming home that night or if he was staying with his family.  It’s not like it would be that much of a surprise to come home to a drunk Sam and Tina; Sam came home to a slightly tipsy Blaine and Tina all the time.  Maybe Blaine would even join them, this time.

“Is he having a bachelor party?” Tina asked suddenly.

Sam smacked his palm to his forehead.  “Fuck, I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be planning that.”

“You’re slacking on the job, Evans.”

“I know.  I’ve been too busy trying to win over the groom.  God, I hope he doesn’t want like, strippers or anything.  It’ll be just my luck if he spends the night ogling a hundred guys who aren’t me.”

“Well, you did used to strip,” Tina said.  “You could probably hop right up there with them.  He wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off of you.  Or your junk!” Tina cackled.  

Sam groaned.  “Oh god, Tina.”

“You could give him a lap dance!” she suggested, her voice growing louder in excitement.  “He’ll totally want you after he feels your ass on his -“

Sam clamped his hand over Tina’s mouth.  “You’re terrible.”

“You want it,” Tina said.

Sam hesitated before admitting, “Only after we’re dating.”  Tina fell into shrieks of laughter.

“But until then, I’m completely ignoring your epicly fail-tastic ideas.”

Tina downed the rest of her drink, getting up to pour another.  “Well, you could at least do something for him.  Something big, something romantic and special.  Even if it’s not at a bachelor party.”

“Especially if it’s not at a bachelor party.”  Sam racked his brain.  “Well, there is that other party.  The rehearsal thing.”

“Rehearsal dinner?”

“Yeah.  Who all is coming to that?”

“Um,” Tina said, thinking as she poured orange juice to mix with the vodka in her glass.  “Like, for usual weddings it’s the families and the wedding party, but I think they’re making this more of just a party party.  So like, people from Kurt’s job,  because it’s also like a going away party?  And I talked to Unique the other day, and she said most of the New Directions are going to try to make it, since the wedding’s in the States now.”

Sam sat up straight.  “The New Directions are coming?  Like, our New Directions?”

Tina nodded.

“Do you have all of their numbers?”

“Most of them, and I think the ones I do can call the ones I don’t.  Why?”

“Call them up, I have an idea.”

“Wow.”  Blaine knew the St. Regis was impressive, but somehow he still hadn’t expected the rooms to be so lavish.  Cooper’s red-themed room held a king-sized bed with silk sheets, the bed posts holding up a decorative canopy rail with no canopy.  On both side of the room were chaise lounges, matching the bed, and at the foot of the bed was a sitting stool, facing the TV on top of the ornate dresser.  The outer wall held a window, framed by silk curtains which were held back so the two Andersons could view the city beneath.  “Mom and Dad splurged.”

Cooper shrugged.  “Dad’s stayed here lots of times.  And the wedding’s here anyway, so they figured it would be convenient.  I can get drunk off of my ass at the reception and not even have to leave the building.”

“Um.  Thanks.”

“Any time, little bro.”

Blaine stepped over to the window, looking down at the city streets.  He knew his parents were staying in the next room over (and god help them if Cooper did pick someone up at the wedding while he was drunk), but at the moment they were at a cigar bar that someone had recommended to Blaine’s father.

“Dad didn’t seem too enthusiastic today.”

“What do you mean, squirt?”  Blaine looked back at Cooper, who was already stretched out across his bed.

“I don’t know.  He felt a little distant, which he usually is, I get that, but… I’m getting married.  Can’t he be a little more excited, just this once?”

Cooper rolled over onto his stomach.  “You think he’s upset about the wedding?”

Blaine shrugged.  “Maybe?  And he also doesn’t seem happy about me moving to Paris.”

Cooper sighed, patting the spot on the bed next to him.  Blaine immediately walked over and sat down on the bed, bouncing a few times once he realized how soft the bed was.

“His youngest son’s moving to a foreign country.  He’s just looking out for you,” Cooper said.  “I know it sounded like an interrogation, but he really was just making sure you’re doing something you’ll be okay with.  And I don’t think he’s upset about the wedding.  Well, necessarily.  I think, if Dad’s upset about anything, it’s that you’re getting married to Kurt.”

Blaine reeled back.  “Seriously?  Damn it, I thought we had gotten past that-“

“Whoa, Blaine, calm down,” Cooper said, sitting up.  “I didn’t say it was because you’re getting married to a guy, Dad doesn’t give a shit about that.  He loves you and all of your gayness.”  Blaine scowled.  “I just get the feeling that he doesn’t like Kurt all that much.”

“Well.”  Blaine frowned, not pleased with that idea.  “I’m getting married to Kurt, so he’s just going to have to deal.”

Cooper shrugged, checking his phone for the time.  “And, I mean, there’s kind of the fact that…”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“What?” Blaine asked more insistently.  Cooper set down his phone.

“Okay, you know how I said I always thought you and Sam would end up together?”  Blaine nodded.  “Well, Dad did too.”

“Dad…wants me to be with Sam?”

“Are you kidding me?  Dad loves Sam.”

“I mean, I knew Dad liked him, but-“

“How does Dad show affection?”

Blaine thought.  “By buying us stuff?”

“Right.  And didn’t he pay for Sam’s tuition?”

“…Some of it.”

Cooper nodded.  “Most of it.  And he would pull strings and get Sam a job up here in some law firm if Sam wanted, but he hasn’t asked Sam because he knows Sam is artsy like us and would go crazy in a boring office job.  And I know you didn’t hear because you were talking to mom, but Dad offered to pay for Sam’s rent until he could get a new roommate or something after you leave.”

“What?”  Cooper just shrugged at Blaine.  “…Dad shows affection so weird.”

“Tell me about it,” Cooper said.  “But he’s never done anything like that for Kurt.  I’m just saying.”

Blaine sat back against the bedpost, reeling with the new information.  “But…I’m marrying Kurt.  Not Sam.”

“I’m just saying what I think.  He hasn’t actually outright told me any of this.  And he gets that you’re marrying Kurt, he just…he wants what’s best for you.  He doesn’t love Sam because Sam is Sam, he loves Sam mostly because Sam is so good for you.  He sees how happy Sam makes you.  He loves Sam because you love Sam and Sam loves you.  So that’s why he’s upset or whatever, and you and I can’t change that,” Cooper said, interrupting Blaine before he could argue.

Blaine folded his arms across his chest.  He really didn’t know what to say to knowing that his father would rather he marry his straight best friend than the person he’s been dating since high school.

“Speaking of Sam.”

“Cooper.”

“What was going on with you two at dinner?”

“Nothing!  Cooper, what the hell?”

“You two were cuddling in the booth!”

“We were not cuddling!”  Cooper gave Blaine a look.  “Okay, we cuddle sometimes!  As friends!”

“In public?”

“Cooper!”

“I’m just saying!” Cooper said, holding his hands up in defense.  “Even as friends, you two were just really close, okay?  You paid more attention to him than you did to your fiancé who was sitting right next to you.”

Blaine growled.

“Blaine.”

“Shut up.”

“So you think I’m right?”

Blaine groaned, flopping back on the bed.  “You don’t need to point it out!  Okay, so we were close.  We’re best friends, we’re close, I know we’re weirdly close.  Whatever.”  He paused, taking a breath.  Cooper’s silenced coaxed him to admit, “We’ve been closer, lately.  We had a fight, but after that, it was like there was something different.  Like it’s always felt good to be with him, because he’s my best friend, but lately…”

“It feels even better?”

Blaine scrubbed his hands over his face.  “Kind of.  I don’t like that I can’t really put my finger on it.  But I like the feeling it gives me.  Like we’re stronger together.  And it sucks, because I think it’s happening because I’m about to move, and when I do move it’s all going to be ripped away.”

Cooper let out a joking awww, patting his hand on Blaine’s gelled hair.  “Squirt, you are just…adorably oblivious.”

Blaine peered at Cooper between his fingers.  “Am not.”

“Are too.  Always have been.”

“Fine.  So if I’m so oblivious, what do you think I’m not seeing?”

Cooper hesitated.  “Squirt…”

“Cooper.”

“I think, truthfully and honestly, that this is something you want to stay oblivious about.  You’ll stay happy that way.”

“Coop,” Blaine whined, but Cooper shook his head.  “You’re really not going to tell me, are you?”

“Nope.  Maybe you’ll figure it out someday.  But not right now.”

Blaine sighed.

“So are you having a bachelor party?” Cooper asked suddenly, changing the topic to distract Blaine from whatever he was keeping secret.  “We should hire some strippers.”

“No.  No strippers.”

Cooper flopped down on the bed next to Blaine.

“Sam was a stripper, wasn’t he?”

“Oh my god, Cooper, shut up!”

Chapter Text

“Morning,” Sam yawned, stretching as he stepped out of his bedroom.  “Whatcha doin’?”

Blaine was huddled over the counter, urgently writing something down on a piece of paper but scratching out his words every few seconds.  “Vows suck.  Did you know that?  They suck.  They’re supposed to be the most romantic thing in the word, proclaiming your love in front of everyone you know, but they just-“

“Suck?”

Blaine groaned.  “They suck but they don’t suck.  They just suck to write.”

“Say suck one more time,” Sam said, smirking.  Blaine rolled his eyes, not indulging him, but there was a quirk of a smile at his lips.

“They need to be perfect,” Blaine said.  “But everything I write sounds like cheesy crap.  Which is weird, because it’s not like I haven’t done this before.  I made huge proclamations to Kurt all the time in high school!  Why is this so difficult?”

“Are you sure that whatever you said in high school wasn’t also cheesy crap but you were fooling yourself because you were like sixteen?” Sam asked.  Blaine threw his pen at him.  “Hey!”

Blaine grumbled, turning back to his paper.  “The wedding is tomorrow, and I put this off until today because I am a complete idiot, and you are no help.”

Sam picked the pen up off the floor and placed it back in Blaine’s hand before circling Blaine and wrapping his arm around his shoulder, reading what Blaine had already scratched out.  “Yeah, that’s some pretty cheesy shit.”

“Thanks,” Blaine deadpanned.

Sam peered closer to the text, thumb beginning to brush across Blaine’s shirt absentmindedly.  Tina’s words, just tell him, rang through his head.  “Maybe it’s that the things you want to say and the things you need to say are completely different now.  What you need to say has changed since then so it’s harder to put words to it.”  Sam mentally went back over what he had just said.  “That…was really confusing.”

“Just a little,” Blaine said quietly, already soothed by Sam’s closeness.  He looked up at Sam through his lashes.  “Will you help me?”

Those stupid beautiful eyes, Sam thought.  Helping the person he was in love with find the words to tell another person he loved them sounded like a total blast, but it was Blaine and he could never turn Blaine down.

“Are you sure I should?  Shouldn’t it come from your heart, or something like that?”

“Sam…” Blaine dipped his chin lower, turning up his puppy dog eyes full force.  “Please?”

Sam groaned, tipping his head all the way back on his neck.  “Fine.  I’ll go throw on some clothes and we’ll go for a walk.  Teddy?  You coming?”  He knew their dog probably needed to go outside at some point, since he hadn’t yet that morning, but secretly Sam thought he might be able to spin writing vows into quality alone time with Blaine.

A sleepy Teddy looked up at Sam, then out the window, then closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

“All right, then, party pooper,” Sam said, even though inside he was thinking, ‘good boy.’

“Do you think I could sing my vows?”

Blaine looked questioningly at Sam over his coffee cup, already perched at his mouth so he could take a drink.  He’d basically been inhaling it since they’d stopped at Starbucks, but Sam couldn’t blame him - it had to be below freezing outside.  That, coupled with the fact that it was midday on a Friday where Sam didn’t have a shift and Blaine didn’t have an audition, left the city streets much clearer than usual.  They passed by a few people on the sidewalk every minute or so, but for the most part they had their free pick of a pathway.

And yet, they were still walking shoulder to shoulder, bumping arms or hands more frequently than should be casual.  But it’s not like Sam was complaining.

“Could be cool, but you sure you want to try to remember lyrics when you’re probably going to be nervous as hell?”

“I’ll probably be nervous even with just words.  Oh god, it’ll be even worse because it’s like a monologue, Sam -“

Sam grabbed Blaine’s shoulder, holding him still.  “Blaine.  Calm down.  You’ll be fine, okay?”  He nudged Blaine forward, encouraging him to keep walking.

“Singing might be a little out of place.  I know, it’s how you’ve always said what you really want to say, I’ve done it too, but first of all, you’re already going to have the New Directions singing at the wedding.  You singing too might be overkill.  And if Kurt’s not singing his vows to you, then it might just look kind of weird.”

“Right, right.  So back to square one.”  Blaine tossed his coffee cup in a nearby trash can before looking up.  “Wait, is that…?”

They had been walking under scaffolding, slightly shielding them from the wind, but as they got closer to the crosswalk Blaine rushed forward, sticking his hand out into the open air.

“Sam, it’s snowing!” 

Blaine just barely stepped out onto the street, still level with the parked cars on the side, and stretched out his arms, throwing his head back to the sky and opening his mouth.  The snowflakes fell sparsely, but he still stuck his tongue out, spinning in hopes of catching one.  The winter light illuminated him, making his skin shine and his cold-bitten pink cheeks stand out, and as he laughed as he caught a snowflake on his tongue, Sam felt like he couldn’t breathe.  Blaine looked perfect.

“I love you.”

Blaine dropped his arms, turning to face Sam.  “What?”

Sam rushed forward, meeting Blaine on the street and spilling out his words before he could lose his courage.  Just tell him.  “I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  You mean the world to me.”

Whatever expression he’d expected from Blaine, it wasn’t the one he was wearing - a joking smile, not taking Sam seriously.  “You want me to say that?  I mean, it’s good, but it’s…it’s really generic, don’t you think?  Kinda cheesy?”  He grabbed Sam’s coffee cup and took a sip, handing it back to him before he crossed the street.  Sam hung behind, dumbstruck.

“You coming?” Blaine called behind him.

Sam looked both ways on the street before running across to catch up to Blaine.  “Okay, okay, how about…how about this.”

He set his cup on a nearby bench, standing up straight and guiding Blaine to face him so that he was sure he had Blaine’s full attention.

“You…you are my best friend.  You’ve been my best friend for so long, and it’s one of the most incredible things I’ve experienced.  Because you’re not just my best friend.  I’m so in love with you that it hurts, sometimes, it drives me crazy, because all I want is you.”  He stepped forward, taking Blaine’s hands in his.  Blaine’s smile began to falter.  “You are the most important person in the world to me, and I can’t, I can’t imagine my life without you.  I need you.”

Blaine’s smile was completely gone, replaced with the realization that Sam may not have been talking about him and Kurt.

“Sam…”

“Ahem.”

Both men jumped, turning to face Santana and Rachel, who had both come out of the nearby Macy’s.

“What’s going on, guys?” Rachel asked hesitantly, looking back and forth between the two men.  Sam opened his mouth to respond, but realized he didn’t know what he could say.

“R-rehearsing vows,” Blaine stuttered.  “You guys?”

“Buying dresses for tonight’s party,” Santana replied, obviously not believing Blaine’s answer even though Rachel accepted it.  Santana glanced at Sam, who ducked his chin downward.  “You actors are weird.  Always have to get so into the moment.”

Sam glanced up.  Santana was still glaring at him, but he mouthed a thank you to her, glad to be rid of the awkward moment.  He reached behind him, grabbing his coffee off of the bench, but as soon as he turned around Santana and Rachel were right in front of him.

“How about you boys treat us to a new pair of Louboutin’s?” Santana asked, wrapping her fingers around Sam’s bicep.  “For the wedding and all.”

“Uh, Santana, I don’t-“

But Santana was already pulling Sam down the street to the nearest Saks Fifth Avenue, Rachel and Blaine not far behind.  As they walked, Santana squeezed her fingers around Sam’s arm just on the side of too hard.  Even through his jacket and long sleeved henley, he could feel the impression of her nails.

“You’re playing with fire, Sam,” she reminded him chillingly, quiet enough that Blaine and Rachel couldn’t hear.  Sam couldn’t remember the last time she’d used his first name.  “Do not turn this into an explosion.”

For a party with a such a large amount of people the room was surprisingly quiet, people chatting in voices so low Sam could pick out exactly which Christmas songs had been arranged into a jazz accompaniment and played over the speakers.  There was a huge decorative Christmas tree in the corner of the room, right next to the small platform stage, and while the lights from the tree were so bright they seemed to cast all the way across the room, the tree, of course, held no presents underneath.

Sam barely recognized anyone in the room - to his left, there was Mike, Tina, Finn, and Puck arranged around a table, somewhere in the room were the Anderson family, plus Artie and Mercedes, who had just gotten in from L.A. that day, and to his right there was Blaine, Kurt, Santana, and Rachel, all chatting to people Sam had never seen before in his life.  Santana and Rachel both looked gorgeous in their recently purchased dresses and high heels; Santana even towered over Blaine, her heels were so high, but neither Blaine nor Sam objected, since she didn’t actually make them pay like she’d said, but went ahead and bought the shoes herself.  Sam was pretty sure she hadn’t even bought Louboutin shoes herself, and he wasn’t surprised, because when he’d seen the price tag on one of the pairs he’d nearly passed out.

Blaine, similarly, looked absolutely amazing.  He’d spent at least an hour rooting through his closet, meticulously and frustratingly choosing pieces to coordinate in a way Sam had never seen him do before.  Blaine always looked incredibly put together, but for that night he had really dressed to impress.  Sam hadn’t understood, thinking they were just going to a wedding rehearsal (in which Blaine and Kurt had both opted to sit out and watch instead, since there was no bride to follow tradition, which led to the ceremony awkwardly and hilariously marrying Puck and Burt instead) and then to a casual rehearsal party, but as it turned out “rehearsal party” may or may not have had anything to do with the rehearsal anyway.  And since party meant that multitudes of Kurt’s coworkers were once again invited, looking around, Sam understood.  Blaine had to be able to compare to Kurt, who was also dressed to the nines, as well as any other party goer who wore the most expensive things they could find in their closet.

Not that Sam was complaining.  The navy blazer and tight red pants combination Blaine had picked out both very strategically highlighted his…assets.  Just as Sam had suggested weeks ago at the tuxedo fitting.

Sam crossed over to Blaine, weaving through groups of chatting people until he reached the group of his old schoolmates.  He nudged Blaine’s shoulder to let him know he was there, but when Blaine turned to see him he let out a groan.

“Don’t say a word.”

Sam blinked, surprised.  “What?”

“Wait, what?” Blaine asked, now confused that Sam hadn’t said whatever he was expecting him to say.  “Oh.  Uh, never mind.”

Blaine’s eyes flickered over Sam’s shoulder before he turned back to Kurt, a little embarrassed.  Kurt, however, was talking to one of his coworkers, a beautiful redhead that Sam may have tried to talk to three months ago, before he realized his feelings for Blaine.  Sam looked back over his shoulder, trying to see what Blaine may have been talking about.

Oh.

A banner that read ‘Congratulations, Kurt!’hung on the far wall.

“What.”

“Shhh,” Blaine said, leaning back into Sam. 

“What the h-“

“Don’t worry about it.”  Blaine let out a huff of air, keeping his voice low enough so that Sam could hear, but Kurt couldn’t.  “The party’s a combination of rehearsal dinner, Christmas, and going away party for Kurt,” he said as he turned to Sam.  Sam could tell that while Blaine was trying to put on a poker face, he wasn’t exactly pleased with being excluded from his own wedding rehearsal party.  But since Blaine didn’t want to talk about it, Sam shrugged and didn’t push.

“Congratulations, Blaine,” he did joke, leaning forward and whispering in his ear.

“Shut up,” Blaine said, but he tried to hide a laugh while doing so.

“Blaine!” The redhead grabbed Blaine’s arm suddenly, her French manicure wrapping around his wrist.  “Are you so excited?”

“…For?”

“For the wedding?” 

“Oh!”  Blaine blinked, Sam hiding his laughter behind a cough and getting an elbow to the stomach for it.  “Of course I am!”

“And Paris, too?”

Blaine’s smile faltered a little.  “Yeah, yeah.  Paris too.”

“Melanie works out at the Paris branch, sometimes,” Kurt put in.

“Maybe we’ll see each other sometime,” Melanie said, teeth blindingly white as she smiled.  Blaine nodded hesitantly. 

“Yeah.  Maybe.”

“So you guys are going to get there, and get totally famous, and then…what?  Settle down?  Have kids?” Melanie asked.  Blaine began to respond, a genuine smile already returning to his face, but Kurt answered first.

“Oh, no.  No kids.”

“No?” Melanie said.  Blaine’s face fell into a frown.

“What?”

Kurt looked at Blaine, surprised.  “Well, we’re going to be too busy.  You’re going to be acting, and I’m going to be at Vogue, and I’ll be traveling a lot-“

“Traveling?”

“Just for a few days at a time, but it’s part of my job, Blaine.  Besides, you’re an actor, why do you want kids?”

“There are plenty of actors who have kids.”

“But you’d never get to spend time with them.  You’d be working, and I’d be working-“

“It sounds like you and I wouldn’t get to spend any time together, either,” Blaine replied, bitterness in his voice.  “I’m sorry that it’s such a crime to want kids.  Do you even want pets?  Or just a completely bare apartment?”

“No, I don’t want pets, because we wouldn’t be able to take care of them ourselves!”

“Um.”

Melanie coughed before Blaine could respond and let the argument get any more heated.

“Awkward,” she said, looking back and forth between Kurt and Blaine.  “I don’t mean to butt in, but…isn’t this something you guys kinda should have talked about before you get married?”

“Yeah.  But I guess it’s too late for that now.”  With that, Blaine walked away into the crowd.  Kurt, still fuming, didn’t follow him.  Sam nearly did, but before he could, he got a text from Tina.

‘They’re here!!! Come outside!’

Sam looked up, checking to see that Blaine was still at least in the room.  Mike had already strategically distracted him, keeping him in place and allowing Sam to make his way outside.

“Hey!” he shouted once he stepped into the hallway.  He was met with a cheer in response from the New Directions from his senior year, Jake and Ryder already rushing forward to tackle him in a hug.

“Dude!  What’s up?” Jake said, though he didn’t expect a response and let Sam go ahead and hug Marley and Unique.  He high-fived Joe, then looked at Kitty hesitantly.  She had her lips pursed and her arms crossed, the same way Sam remembered her from seven years ago, but let Sam wrap her up in a hug, too.

“Thank you guys so much for coming,” he said once he’d gotten to everyone.  “Blaine is seriously going to love this.  Speaking of,” he looked at Tina, who checked back inside the door before nodding at Sam, “we could probably sneak back in now.  And Blaine needs some cheering up right now, so, this is basically perfect timing.  Everybody ready?”  Everyone nodded back at him, the boys letting out a whoop of excitement.  Sam grinned.

“Cool.  Now stay near the wall, and I’ll tell you guys when to come up.  This is gonna be awesome.”

“Um.  Ahem.”

Sam tapped the microphone, causing the speakers to screech in feedback.  He could see everyone on the floor wince.

“Oops, sorry.  Um, okay, so as all of you guys know, Blaine and Kurt are, uh, getting married,” he said, earning a round of applause.  He tried to gesture to both of them, but saw that Blaine was sitting at a table near the stage, while Kurt was back on the other side of the room with another group of his coworkers.  Sam coughed, dropping his free hand.  “And this party is also kind of a going away party for them, because they’re moving to Paris.  And we’re all here to show them how much we love them, and, uh,” Sam looked to Tina, who gave him a gesture of encouragement, “and we’ve got a special group of people here who want to show Blaine how much they love him and will miss them.  So…guys?”

He turned to the side of the stage, watching Tina usher everyone on stage.  He stood awkwardly, waiting for them to get into formation, and looked over at Blaine.  Already, he knew that calling everyone up had been worth it; Blaine was hiding an excited smile behind his hands, cupped over his mouth in surprise.

“Hit it!”

Music began to play through the speakers as the New Directions stepped and clapped to the beat.  Sam took a deep breath, before lifting the mic back up to his mouth to sing.

“I could lift you up, I could show you what you wanna see, and take you where you wanna be.  You could be my luck, Even if the sky is falling down I know that we’ll be safe and sound.”

Some audience members cheered, already entertained by the surprise performance and recognizing the popular song from years ago.  Blaine clapped along to the music with everyone else, getting up out of his seat and walking to the edge of the stage.  Sam stood by as Jake and Kitty took turns at solos, casually stepping to the side of the stage that Blaine was on so he could see his reactions.

The whole group joined in at the chorus, not even attempting choreography since they hadn’t had any time to rehearse, but each person getting into it in their own way.  The girls mostly jumped up and down, Unique belting her heart out in a cadence above the rest of the group, while the guys play fought on stage, happy to be back together again.  Yet, at every moment, they were singing to Blaine, making him feel included in their reunited family even though he wasn’t actually up there with them.

By the time Sam’s next solo rolled around, after Tina, Ryder, and Artie had taken their turns, Blaine had unshed tears in his eyes.

“I could show you love.  In a tidal wave of mystery, you’ll still be standing next to me.”  The rest of the New Directions harmonized with him for the rest of the song, hitting the final chord of “we’re safe and sound” beautifully.

Applause erupted as the music died down, the New Directions’ chests heaving with exertion.  It was only a few seconds before the group rushed off the stage and pulled Blaine into a giant group hug.

Sam trailed behind, letting those who hadn’t seen Blaine in forever get to him first.  He vaguely noticed another song playing, an apparent impromptu karaoke session beginning with Rachel taking first dibs, but he ignored it in lieu of seeing the smile so wide it might break Blaine’s face in half.

“I can’t believe you guys are here!” Blaine exclaimed, embracing Marley, then Unique.  His eyes locked with Sam’s over her shoulder, and Sam gave him a small wave. 

“Come find me later,” Blaine mouthed, already swept up in a hug from Ryder.  Sam nodded, grinning.  He looked over Blaine’s shoulder, seeing Kurt hovering there.

“Blaine?” Kurt said, having to raise his voice over the New Directions’ chatter.

“Yeah?” Blaine said, turning awkwardly while still hugging Ryder.

“Do you maybe want to sing a duet after Rachel gets done with her solo?”

“Uh, yeah, just…let me catch up with these guys first, okay?” Blaine said, turning back to give Jake a hug.  Kurt nodded curtly, glancing up at Sam before walking away.

The duet never actually happened.

Blaine spent over an hour talking to the New Directions, any trace of anger from before the performance completely replaced by utter happiness.  Sam was content to watch from afar, letting Blaine enjoy his surprise.  He’d see Blaine later that night for sure, at their apartment.

Or, in the room Sam had eventually escaped to so he could take a breather, instead.

“Hey!” Blaine said, causing Sam to spin around.  “I’ve been looking for you!”

“Well you found me,” Sam teased.  Blaine grinned, still staring at Sam, and Sam thought he wouldn’t mind if Blaine looked at him like that for the rest of their lives.

“Come here.”  Blaine tugged Sam into a hug, burying his face into Sam’s neck.  Sam sighed into it, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s back as Blaine did the same to Sam’s waist and held on tight.  “Thank you,” he said, his voice muffled by Sam’s shirt.  “That was one of the best things anyone’s ever done for me.”

“It was nothing,” Sam said, but he held Blaine tighter all the same.

Blaine pulled away, seconds or minutes later, Sam didn’t know, but he was sniffing and wiping at his eyes that hadn’t shed any tears yet.  “You’re incredible, you know that?  Absolutely incredible.”

Sam shook his head.  “No.”  He stroked his hand against the back of Blaine’s hair, down to his neck, and held him firmly.  Blaine smiled, leaning into the touch.  “I know I’m being cheesy right now, but seriously?  You’re incredible.  And you deserve everything.”

Blaine didn’t respond, just ducked his head bashfully at the praise.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked tentatively.  “From earlier, I mean.”

“I’m…better,” Blaine answered.  “For right now.  And I’ll be okay.  It’ll work out eventually, it always does.”

“You know you can talk to me, right?” Sam asked, his voice gentle but firm.  Blaine let out a sigh, hesitating, before his words came tumbling out.

“I mean, I want kids.  I want kids so bad, and you know that.  And I really don’t know how we managed to get eight years into a relationship without even discussing kids.  We talked about our future all the time, but somehow kids were never actually mentioned, even though that’s what I imagined, but usually it was Kurt shaping the picture, it’s always Kurt shaping the picture, and I just went along with it but now… I don’t know.  Maybe he’s right.  We’ll probably be too busy for kids anyway.”

“But that’s not what you want?” Sam prodded, breaking Blaine’s flimsy resolve.

“No.”  Blaine shook his head.  “I want kids.  Or even a pet, god, he knows how much Teddy means to me, how can he just say no pets?  We could get a house sitter, but we wouldn’t even need one because it’s not like I’m never going to come home from the theater!  I’m going to sleep in our apartment, even if he’s wherever in Europe at the time!”

Blaine threw his hands up in the air, pacing around the room a few times before settling down in a chair.  Sam let him walk, following him once he slowed.  “I don’t know, maybe he doesn’t know.  He’s never really hung around Teddy, anyway.  Maybe it’s just you that gets that.”

“Maybe,” Sam said shamelessly.  “I mean, I do get a lot of things about you.  I get how much you love Teddy.  I get how much you want to have kids.  Because I want them too.  I want at least two kids, maybe three, running around the house and messing everything up and hanging macaroni art on the fridge and playing miniature superheroes.  And I want a million pets, inside and outside, Teddy lounging around in his old age with a cat as his best friend and a huge labrador and a golden retriever puppy playing out in the yard.  And one of the kids would have a turtle, and another would have a hamster, and the house would basically be a zoo, but it would be awesome.”

“That does sound like a great life,” Blaine said, quietly, imagining a version of it in his head.  Sam didn’t know who he was imagining it with, but he wanted to scream, ‘you could have that life, you could have it with me, please give me a chance, I love you so fucking much-’

But he didn’t.  Blaine looked lost in thought, anyway, a small smile on his face, but he snapped out of it quickly, shaking his head.

“We should get back to the party,” he said, standing up.  Sam stood with him, following him to the doorway, casually looking at his surroundings along the way.

“Wait.”

Sam reached out, grabbing Blaine’s arm lightly.

“Look where we’re standing.”

Blaine looked down, and Sam laughed, guiding him to look up instead.

“Oh.”

In the doorway hung an inconspicuous sprig of mistletoe, begging to have its tradition honored.

“Well.  I guess that happens when you have a Christmas party full of adults,” Blaine said, but didn’t move away.  He looked up at Sam, his brown eyes warm, and barely got out a, “We could-“ before Sam kissed him.

Sam tried to go as gently as he could, not wanting to scare Blaine off with his excitement, but it was extremely difficult.  One of his hands trailed up to wrap around Blaine’s neck, just under his jaw, and the other held Blaine’s waist, pulling him closer.  It felt incredible.

And, even better, once Blaine got over the surprise of being kissed, he kissed back.

Tentatively, at first, Blaine pressed forward, aligning his lips with Sam’s, but as he got bolder, more into the kiss, his arms came up, mirroring Sam’s hands and winding his fingers through Sam’s hair.  Sam leaned forward daringly, pulling Blaine’s bottom lip between his lips, and Blaine groaned when Sam took a step, pressing Blaine against the doorway and resting his weight against him.  The hand on Blaine’s waist drifted lower, lower, until it was cupping his ass, and took Sam the opportunity when Blaine gasped to let his tongue enter Blaine’s mouth.  Their tongues slid together as Blaine pulled him closer, hot and slick, and Blaine sucked on Sam’s tongue at his first opportunity, making Sam moan into his mouth.

Sam wondered, in the back of his head, why the hell he had waited until he was fucking twenty-five to even try this, when he could have had this at eighteen.  He also wondered, hoping and praying, if he just could keep kissing Blaine forever.  He wanted to damn well try, but eventually Blaine pulled back to catch his breath.

“Oh my god.”

Sam took in a deep breath, before kissing Blaine again.  Blaine sighed, his lips gliding against Sam’s, before his eyes snapped open, his body going rigid.

“Oh my god.”

He stepped out of Sam’s embrace, looking around.  No one was in the hallway, but Blaine could still barely look at Sam.

“I…I need to get back to the party.”

Sam stuttered, still disoriented.  “Blaine, wh-“

“Sam,” Blaine said, looking back at him.  Sam wanted to ignore the sadness in his eyes.  “I have to go.”

He walked back to the party, music spilling out of the room when he opened the door down the hall and muffling when he closed it.  Sam fell back against the door frame, disoriented and wondering what the hell had just happened.

Sam shut the apartment door slowly behind him, looking around at the well-lit living room and already hearing the clacking of Teddy’s nails against the kitchen tile as the dog raced to greet him.  He ducked down, giving Teddy a good scratch on the belly when Teddy flopped over on his back.

“Hey, buddy.  How are you?”  Teddy wagged his tongue, wriggling under Sam’s fingers.  “Have you seen Blaine?”

Teddy didn’t answer, squeezing Sam’s hands between his paws and lightly nipping at his fingers, but Sam could hear shuffling inside Blaine’s room anyway.  He stood, Teddy flipping back over onto his feet and waiting for Sam to make his move, and slowly walked towards the door.

Blaine stood inside, staring at the cardboard boxes lining his bedroom wall.  He was already dressed for bed in grey sweatpants and an oversized plain white t-shirt - something he usually only wore if he was sick or distressed and somehow found comfort in the clothes.

Sam knocked on the doorframe, giving Blaine fair warning he was there.

“Oh.”  Blaine turned, somehow looking lost in his own bedroom.  “Hey.”

“Hey.”  Sam shuffled awkwardly from foot to foot, shoving his hands in his pockets.  He didn’t really know what to say after that, generic conversation starters like ‘all packed up?’and ‘ready for tomorrow?’ that he actually really didn’t want to know the answer to flicking through his mind until he finally settled on - 

“Do we need to talk?”

Blaine scrubbed at his eyes, letting out a sigh of resignation.  “I honestly don’t know what to say.  And I don’t mean that in a mean way, I just…”   

He turned to Sam, the skin around his eyes slightly red.  When Sam looked closer, he thought the whites of Blaine’s eyes seemed residually red, too, and he wondered if Blaine had been crying.

“Sam, what was that?”

“I…”

“You kissed me,” Blaine said before Sam could even form words.  “I don’t - what - you’re not-“

“It was just a mistletoe kiss,” Sam said, cutting off Blaine’s spluttering, even though he knew it was just a lie.  “Christmas and stuff.”

“That was not just a mistletoe kiss, mistletoe kisses don’t have - tongue, and full body contact, and god, Sam, that wasn’t like some stupid little peck!” Blaine protested, marching forward to Sam and making him cower back just a little bit.

“You kissed me, like that, and you don’t even like guys, and what the hell am I supposed to do with that?” 

“I was just trying to give you an out,” Sam muttered.  “If you wanted to just…ignore it.”  

“But you didn’t want me to take it, did you?” Blaine asked.  Before Sam could answer him, he reached over on his bed for a pad of paper that Sam hadn’t noticed before.  His sketchbook.

Sam’s heart dropped.

“Is this us?”  Blaine held the book up to Sam’s face, pages open directly to the drawing that Blaine was never supposed to see, the drawing of Blaine in Sam’s lap, just like the dream Sam had that had changed his life forever.

“I-“

“Answer me.”

“Yes,” Sam said.  Blaine let out a choked off laugh, completely filled with shock, as Sam confirmed what he obviously already knew.

“You just - Sam, what the hell am I supposed to do with this?” Blaine asked, throwing the book back down on the bed.  “With - god, and you wanted me to just ignore this?”

Sam stood up straight, a little braver.  “No.  I didn’t.  What I want is…god, okay, I like guys, and I know I figured that out ten million years too late, but I like guys, and what I want is you.  What I want is for you to stay here, in America, and be with me.  Because, fuck, I am so in lo-“

“Don’t,” Blaine said sternly.  “Don’t say that right now.”

“Blaine-“

“Please,” Blaine begged.  “Don’t say it.  You - you’re just saying it, just feeling it because I’m about to leave and you can’t-“

“No.”  Sam stepped forward, grabbing Blaine’s forearm.  “That’s not it at all.  I knew I was in-“ Blaine gave him a pleading look, begging him to change his wording, “that I had feelings for you before you even got engaged.”

Blaine shook his head, trying to look somewhere, anywhere, except Sam’s eyes.  “Sam…”

Sam gritted his teeth, daring to air the thought that had been at the back of his mind for hours.  “You kissed me, too.”

Blaine stayed silent for a moment, then nodded.  “Yeah.  I did.  That’s part of why I’m so confused.”  He pulled his arm out of Sam’s grasp, resuming his pacing.  “I don’t know what the hell is going on with me, or with anything.  I know, at the party, I was feeling really vulnerable, because of this morning and because of Kurt and just because I’m scared about everything.” 

Sam tried to interrupt, because he refused to accept that it was just momentarily vulnerability, but Blaine kept talking, more to himself than to Sam now.   “And you kissed me, and god these feelings were supposed to go away after high school, I thought they were gone but then you kissed me, and oh god, why are they still here, I’m supposed to get married tomorrow - I’m supposed to get married tomorrow and my best friend is in love with me and I’m moving to Paris and I don’t know what to do and I just-“ 

He hid his face in his hands, but not before Sam saw that tears had started to fill his eyes.  Sam’s heart thudded as he realized Blaine did have feelings for him, he was just trying to push them away, still hoping -

“I just want things to go back to normal,” Blaine said, quieter and muffled.

“Blaine,” Sam said gently, taking a tentative step forward, “either way, nothing’s going to be the same as it was.”

Blaine nodded and sniffed, voice thick.  “I know.  This is what Cooper was talking about, wasn’t it?”

“What?”

“Nothing,” Blaine said, shaking his head and laughing bitterly to himself.  ‘It’s just…it would have been better if I didn’t know.  About this.”  He gestured between them.  “Because then I wouldn’t be so confused.  And so torn.”

He took a deep breath, trying to find some resolve.  “I’m marrying Kurt,” he said, the words digging a hollow pit in Sam’s chest.  “I’m marrying Kurt because I’ve been preparing for this for eight years and I’ll marry him and everything will just…be fine.  It’ll all be fine.”

Blaine nodded to himself resolutely, looking at Sam as if, with his decision, the past day hadn’t happened.  Sam just shook his head sadly, knowing that his words were going to break Blaine’s heart just as much as Blaine’s had broken his.

“I can’t be your best man.”

Blaine’s face fell.

“What?”

“You not knowing was one thing, but I can’t just stand there and watch you get married to someone else.  Not now.”  Sam shrugged and he sniffed, holding on to whatever dignity he had left even as he watched Blaine’s face crumble, fighting the urge to run over and wrap him in an embrace.  “Ask Cooper, I’m sure he’d be glad to.”

“But I need my best friend.”

“We’re not just best friends anymore, Blaine, don’t you get it?” Sam asked, not waiting for an answer.  “Besides, I was going to lose you anyway.  Might as well get it over with.”

He turned, taking one last look around the room, knowing that in two days time it would be empty.

“Sam…” Blaine said weakly behind him.

“Goodnight, Blaine.”

Chapter Text

In four days’ time, Cooper had managed to turn a pristine hotel room into a complete pit.  There were already fast food sacks and and clothes strewn everywhere - how many times did he need to change in one day, anyway?  Blaine stepped around wadded up shirts and crumpled jeans, hoping not to wrinkle them any more than they already were, as he attempted to get to the mirror.

Cooper laid across the bed, texting on his phone.  Blaine could see him as he leaned closer to the mirror, checking to make sure his bow tie was on straight.  Mike and Tina were perched on one of the chairs to the side, Tina on Mike’s lap as they talked quietly. 

“You’re fidgeting again.”

“You know me,” Blaine responded.  “It’s what I do when I’m nervous.  Not like it’s my wedding day or anything.”

Cooper dropped the phone onto the bed and sat up straight.  “Where’s Sam?”

Blaine sighed, heart stuttering in a way that made him feel slightly empty.  “I already told you.  He’s not coming.”

“No, I know that,” Cooper said.  “What I want to know is why isn’t he coming?  Why are you here, nervous as hell, and Sam’s wherever the fuck out there and letting me be your best man instead of doing it himself?”

“I thought you’d be happy to be my best man,” Blaine mumbled, looking down as he untied and retied his tie so he at least had something to do with his hands.  “You’d be the best man at my wedding just like I was the best man at yours.”

Cooper frowned, leaning up against the dresser next to Blaine.  “You know, when you asked Sam to be your best man, at first I was really confused.  And a little offended.  I didn’t get it.  Like, I always thought brothers were supposed to be your best men unless you didn’t have one.”

Blaine honestly didn’t know how to defend himself, how he could explain his choice to Cooper, but he didn’t need to.  Cooper continued without pause.

“But, for my weddings, I also didn’t have a ‘Sam.’  I don’t have a best friend who knows me inside and out, who I couldn’t stand to live without.  But you do.  And he should be here, in my place, and you need him here.”

Blaine said nothing, but he did drop his hands, placing them on the dresser in front of him so he had something to support himself.  He couldn’t tell Cooper the real reason Sam wasn’t there, not now - 

“You figured it out, didn’t you?”  Cooper stared at Blaine, trying to read him, but Blaine didn’t move.  He barely breathed.  “What I wouldn’t tell you.  You know that Sam - and you - and god you’re such an idiot - “

“Cooper? Shut up,” Blaine snapped.  “Can you just - can you please just be my best man?  That’s all you have to do, just stand there and hand me these rings when it’s time.   Can you do that?”  He fished the rings out of his pocket and turned to Cooper, thrusting his arm out to him.  Cooper glared, but extended his hand, allowing Blaine to place the rings in his palm roughly.  “Thank you.”

“Whatever.  I’m going to go check on the ceremony, see if it’s time.”  Cooper grabbed his jacket and phone from the bed, slamming the door on his way out of the room.  Tina and Mike looked at Blaine, wide-eyed, probably having heard the last part of the conversation, if not all of it.  Tina looked as if she wanted to say something, maybe give Blaine some comfort, but Blaine shook his head.

“The wedding’s probably going to start soon.  Just…go with him.”

They both nodded, leaving quickly to give Blaine some space to calm himself down.  He leaned over the dresser, breathing slowly and heavily and trying his hardest not to look into the mirror.

“Blaine?”

He didn’t hear the key slot click or the door open, but he did look up to see his mother step inside carefully, surveying the room with a grimace.

“Over thirty and he still can’t pick up a damn t-shirt,” Laura said, leaning down and picking up one of the shirts on the floor and folding it.  Blaine smiled, the familiar domestic sight calming him down slightly.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, sweetie.  Look at you,” Laura cooed, stepping forward to grab Blaine and get a better view of him.  “You look so handsome.  My little boy has grown up so much.”

“Moooom,” Blaine groaned, but he smiled all the same.

“Are you excited?”

Blaine wanted to respond, he did, but the residual hollow feeling in his chest that had been there for a day - or maybe a month, growing slowly - made him stop.

But his mom understood.  “Are you scared?”

Blaine nodded and gulped.

“Oh, honey.  Do you think it’s just cold feet?”

He wanted it to be.  So badly.  “I don’t know, Mom,” he said honestly, sitting down on the bed.  Laura followed him, rubbing her palm over his shoulder blade soothingly.  “Maybe?  It’s just that…” But he couldn’t put words to what he was feeling.

“Blaine.”  Laura took Blaine’s cheeks in her hands, turning his face to make him look at her.  “It’s normal.  And it’s okay.  This is such an important time in your life and everything’s going to change because of it.  It’s okay to be scared.”

“But everything’s supposed to be coming together, right?” Blaine asked.  “That’s what a wedding’s all about.  But lately it just feels like everything’s falling apart, and I don’t know what to do about it.  Nothing is turning out like I expected it to.”

“Sometimes things just happen that way,” Laura said.  “Sometimes things happen, and they’re completely unplanned.  But even the most completely unexpected things can turn out to be amazing, if you let them.”  She nudged his shoulder, hinting at something that Blaine had been suspicious about for years.

“I wasn’t planned, was I?”

Laura laughed.  “No, honey, you weren’t.  It was just supposed to be Cooper, but then you came along and surprised us all.  But, like I said.  You are one of the most incredible things that ever happened to me and your father, just as much as Cooper is.  Don’t you ever forget that.”

Blaine let his mom pull him into a hug, squeezing her back tightly.  As she pulled away, he hesitated.  “Mom?”

“Mmm?”

“I… I don’t know what to do.  Because like you said, I didn’t plan on Paris, and it might turn out to be really cool.  But I can’t…I can’t decide.  On Paris.  Because there’s…”

“There’s something else?”  Laura filled in when Blaine trailed off.  Blaine nodded.  “Something unexpected?  And you don’t know if that might be better instead?”  Blaine nodded again, happy that his mom got it, even if he knew he shouldn’t even be debating the two.

Blaine saw her hesitate for a moment.  “Blaine, does this have anything to do with Sam?”

Blaine nodded slowly.  Laura didn’t push any further, and Blaine was grateful for it.

Laura patted Blaine’s shoulder, searching for the right words to say.  “I know I’m supposed to be one hundred percent supportive and say yes, it’s just cold feet, you’ll be fine once the wedding’s over.  But I can’t do that.  Because I don’t think what you’re feeling right now is just cold feet.  I don’t know what’s going on with you and Sam, I’m not even completely sure what’s going on between you and Kurt, but I think, if you’re scared and doubtful about the wedding, now is the time to say so.  Marriage is for a lifetime.  Well, it’s supposed to be.  It’s better to say you’re not ready right now, if it’s true, than to have to deal with a divorce later if your fears come true.”

She reached up, stroking Blaine’s hair over the gel.  “Blaine, I can’t make this decision for you.  I can’t tell you which road to pick.  But I can give you advice, and my advice is that you need to go with your heart.  Do what your heart is telling you.  Do what it wants.  I think that’s where you’re going to be your happiest.”

Blaine nodded, silent as he processed her advice.  She pulled him into another hug, then stood, straightening her dress.

“I’m going to go out there and tell them you need a little more time, okay?  And I want you to know this - whatever choice you make, I will love you, no matter what.  And there are so many people out there that will still love you, too.  All of your family, all of your real friends.  They will love you.  And they’ll understand.”

Laura left the room, closing the door softly.  Blaine stood, checking himself in the mirror one more time, and looked at his tuxedo jacket, hanging lifelessly on display as it waited to be worn in the wedding.  He rapped his fingers against the dresser, nerves already building and heart pounding in his chest as he tried to, true to the cliche, listen to his heart.

He grabbed his phone, walking straight past the tuxedo jacket and out of the room.

“Get up.”

Sam groaned, blinking at the sudden sunlight streaming into his bedroom.  He rolled over, turning his face into his pillow and attempting to go back to sleep.  It didn’t matter what time it was, he knew for a fact he had absolutely nothing to do that day and could spend the entire day in bed wallowing in self-pity if he wanted to.

But, judging by the pillow thrown at his back, he wouldn’t be granted that much.

“Sam, get up.”

Sam squinted one eye open, looking at the doorway.  Cooper stood there, arms crossed.

“The fu-“

“Get out of bed and get dressed, or I’ll pull the covers off of you and expose all of your naked glory.”

“I’m wearing boxers,” Sam said, still confused.  “What the hell are you doing”

“What am I doing?  What are you doing?” Cooper asked, marching forward and taking some of the duvet in his hands and pulling.  Sam tugged back quickly on his end, not trying to preserve any modesty, but he still didn’t want to leave the warmth underneath.  Thankfully, Sam eventually won the tug of war.  

Cooper huffed.  “You’re laying in bed like an ass while Blaine is at the hotel, practically shaking, he’s so scared, because he’s about to get married and doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing and doesn’t have the most important person in his life to comfort him.”

“I’m not the most-“

“Bullshit.  You’re being pathetic.”

“Hey!”

“You are!” Cooper insisted.  “You’re literally about to lose your last chance to be with Blaine, forever.  How is that not pathetic?”

“What chance?  I don’t have a chance!” Sam yelled, finally snapping.  It registered in his head too late that Cooper knew he was in love with Blaine, but it didn’t matter anymore.  The whole world could know he was in love with Blaine, he didn’t give a fuck, because he still couldn’t be with him.  “I talked to him last night, and he’s still choosing Kurt.  There is no chance.”

“Then man the fuck up and go be his best friend.  Go be his best man, or, fuck, at least go talk to him.”  Sam began to protest, but Cooper cut him off with a wave of his hand.  “He needs you.  I don’t know what exactly went down last night, but he needs to know that you two are okay.”

Sam shook his head, the defeat he’d been feeling since the night before sinking in again.  “I can’t.”

“Then you’re not the person I thought you were.”

“What is this, Legally Blonde?” Sam said.  “What do you care anyway, Cooper?”

Cooper folded his arms over his chest, looking at Sam like he was an idiot.  Or, at least, more than he had been.  The look mostly said that Sam should already know exactly what he was about to say.  “You make my brother happier than I’ve ever seen him,” Cooper said simply.  “And losing you is hurting him just as much as it’s hurting you.  I don’t know about you, but I always want to see my little brother happy.”

Sam knew Cooper meant Sam would want to make someone like his own little brother Stevie happy if he could, which, of course he would, but in that moment he still only imagined Blaine’s smile in his head, the wide grin that always warmed Sam down to his toes.  “But…he’s still getting married.  He’s choosing Kurt.”

Cooper shrugged.  “Maybe.”

“What?”

“Look, just… go talk to him,” Cooper said, casually diverting Sam.  “Give it one last try.  What have you got to lose?”

“I don’t want to make him uncomfortable…”

“You won’t.  He wants you there.  Now, put some pants on and let’s go.”

Sam threw back the covers, already reaching for a pair of jeans on his floor before a thought occurred to him.  “Wait, wasn’t the wedding supposed to start by now?  What if they’re already at the altar?”

“Tina’s stalling.  And it’s not like they can get married without me anyway, I have the rings.  Now let’s go!”

Blaine had been standing outside of the white wooden door, number 714 written on a brass plate at the top, for at least five minutes.  It didn’t seem very long normally, but at that moment, the second dragged by like walking through quicksand.  He knew what he needed to do, he knew there were people waiting, wondering what was causing the hold up, but the door looked incredibly ominous for something so plain and Blaine’s hands felt heavy at his sides, unwilling to knock and face what was on the other side of the door.

He took a deep breath and knocked anyway.

“Come in!”

Blaine turned the knob, opening the door with ease.  The room inside looked completely different from Cooper’s; reds had been replaced with pure whites, a floor-length mirror standing in the middle of the room while a twin bed had been pushed to the side.  Kurt stood in front of the mirror, putting the final touches on his tuxedo, but looked up at Blaine as he entered.

“Isn’t this bad luck or something?  Seeing the groom on the wedding day?” Kurt joked.  “I know it’s actually supposed to be the bride, but we’re kind of lacking there.”

He smiled, turning fully to Blaine, but stopped when he saw the look on Blaine’s face.

“What’s wrong?”

Blaine opened his mouth, but no words came out.

“Blaine?”  Kurt’s voice was shaking.  Blaine swallowed.

“Kurt…”

“We’re not getting married, are we?”

Blaine, hesitantly, shook his head.  He braced himself for an outburst, but surprisingly, Kurt’s face just…fell.  

“Is it because of the kids thing?” Kurt ask, already resigned. 

“No,” Blaine said honestly.  “The kids are part of it, but there’s more than that.  It’s because…Kurt, what you and I want are two completely different things.  Our lives could go in two different directions right now, and you and I don’t want to go the same direction.  There’s not a way both of us could be completely happy.”

“Because you don’t want Paris.”

Blaine nodded slowly.  “Because I don’t want Paris.  And because you don’t want kids.  Because…because there are some things in our relationship, some problems, that have been there forever, and I haven’t said anything because I wanted to just try to forget they even existed, and I think you wanted that too, but they’re just never going to get fixed.  Not at this point.  Because they’re part of who we are as individuals, especially when it comes to what we need, and we just can’t give each other what the other person needs anymore.  If we ever could.”

Blaine rocked on his heels before taking a step forward, hoping Kurt wouldn’t back away.  Kurt did stay rooted to his spot, but his hunched shoulders and lowered chin told Blaine that he probably shouldn’t try to come any closer.

“I love you Kurt, I really do, and I think I always will, in some way.  But love just-“

“-Isn’t enough?” Kurt finished.  “That was a little cheesy.”

“I’m sorry,” Blaine said, then repeated himself, not just apologizing for the wording anymore.  “I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry that it took me this long to realize and own up to all of this.  Especially since I’m doing it right before what was supposed to be our wedding.”

“At least you didn’t do it at the altar,” Kurt supplied.

Blaine’s mouth quirked into a sad smile, similar to Kurt’s, but he could see right through Kurt’s joking facade to the hurt underneath.  “I’ll completely understand if you never forgive me.”

“Honestly?” Kurt said.  “I’m not sure that I ever will.”  Blaine took a deep breath.  He’d expected that, but the words still sucked to hear.  “But I’ll move on.  I’ll have Paris.”

“And you’ll be incredibly successful, and you’ll find a guy who can give you what I can’t, who will fit in your life perfectly and travel all over the world with you and love you so much.  Because you are the perfect guy, Kurt.  Just…not the perfect guy for me.”

Kurt looked Blaine directly in the eyes, his own eyes searching.  “I need to know.  Is there someone else?”

Blaine thought of Sam, of how he was going to go back to their apartment that night and try to work things out, and see where their relationship would lead, but he shook his head.  “I’m not leaving you for someone else.”  That part was honest.  “I’m leaving you because of the things between us.”

“Cryptic,” Kurt said, “but I’ll take it.  It’ll help me keep my dignity, at least.”

Kurt looked down at his hands, twisting his engagement ring around his finger a few times before pulling it off and extending it to Blaine.  “Take this.”

Blaine didn’t reach for the ring.  He knew it was his fault, but the sight was still hard to take in.  “Are you sure you don’t want to keep it?  Sell it, throw it into a river, something?”

Kurt laughed, but there was a thickness in the back of his throat.  “No, you do whatever you want with it.  I think I want to start a fresh life as soon as possible.  This will help.”  He took Blaine’s hand in his own, placing the ring in his palm and cupping Blaine’s fingers around it.  They dropped hands at the same time, Blaine’s hand heavy and warm.

There was a sudden awkward tension between them, neither knowing what to say now that things seemed so official.  Finally, Kurt spoke.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but maybe you should go now.  Let me cry in peace.  Or maybe trash the hotel room, I don’t know.”

Blaine nodded in assent, shoving the ring into his pocket.  “I can do that.  I need to go talk to someone, anyway.”  He turned to leave, but looked back over his shoulder.

“Kurt?”  Blaine paused.  “I’m really sorry.  Again.”

“Me too,” Kurt said.  “Goodbye, Blaine.”

“Goodbye, Kurt,” Blaine replied, echoing the words they swore they’d never say.  He walked out of the room before he could do anything else, closing the door behind him for good.

Chapter Text

“You better not have just convinced me to make a complete ass of myself,” Sam muttered out of the corner of his mouth.  Cooper laughed loudly next to him, drawing a few stares from other people riding the subway.

As reluctant as Sam had been at first, on the race to the subway station and the subsequent ride to the hotel, his stomach had begun clenching, his hands shaking with nervousness.  Somewhere along the ten minute trip, he actually started to believe he had achance.  Which felt scary as hell.

The subway pulled to a stop.  People began collectively rising from their seats slowly, Cooper pushed Sam forward, almost out the door completely, so he would be the first one to exit.  “Go get him, Romeo.”

Sam barely spared him a glance, propelling forward to the steps and taking them two at a time.  The subway stop was only two blocks away from the hotel.  Sam could probably get there in two minutes, if he really wanted to.  He jogged down the street, narrowly missing at least three people, one who shouted obscenities at him as he ran by, and completely ignored the crosswalk save for checking if there were any cars coming.

When the hotel was in sight, he skidded to a stop.  This is it.  Your last chance.

“Go!”

Sam turned, seeing Cooper from across the street, hands matching his words as they waved wildly in the air.  Sam jerked his chin down into a nod, then stepped inside.

He mentally went through the plan in his head - Cooper had given him his room key on the subway, telling him the room number that Blaine was staying in just in case he was still there so Sam could avoid making a scene.  If not, well, Sam had already been to the ballroom.  He knew exactly where to go.

Completely ignoring the front desk, Sam raced to the elevator, slamming his thumb into the ‘up’ button.  When the elevator didn’t come fast enough, he pressed the button again, and again and again until the elevator dinged and the metal doors slid open.  Sam jumped, already moving to step into the elevator, but stopped short.

Blaine looked up from the floor, locking eyes with Sam.  Sam stared, taking in Blaine’s clothes, the loose jeans and threadbare sweater that he’d had since high school and only wore around the apartment, the sneakers on his feet, and, mostly importantly, the fact that he was on an elevator and not getting married.

Neither of them said anything, but they did stare so long that Sam had to throw his arm out to stop the elevator doors from sliding shut.

Blaine looked at the door with a start, then stepped off the elevator, finally saying the words that Sam had been waiting to hear for two months.

“The wedding’s off.”

Sam let out a breath of relief, forgetting for just a moment that it wasn’t just about him and Blaine, it was also about Blaine and Kurt.  Sam instantly felt regretful.  “Are you okay?”

Blaine nodded, stepping closer to Sam.  “Mostly.  I will be.  I was the one who called it off.”

Blaine looked around the hallway, as if he were searching for something.  Sam followed his gaze, suddenly wondering, if the wedding had been called off, where were the guests?  And was that what Blaine was looking for, too?

“Where is everyone?”

“I think my mom, and maybe Tina, are helping them set up whatever we would’ve had for the reception.  We have the space rented, anyway, might as well let people enjoy it.”  Blaine laughed to himself.  “Remember when they did that after Mr. Schuester’s not wedding?  In high school?”  Blaine’s eyes dimmed, suddenly remembering what had come after that reception.  Sam tilted his head down, catching Blaine’s gaze with his.

“What happened with Kurt?”

“We’re just…” Blaine tried to explain.  “I don’t know how to explain it.  We’ll be happier separately.  It sounds strange, since we’ve been together for so long, but…this way, we’re not going to force ourselves.  We’ll just be happy.  Does that make sense?”

“Yeah.  It does.”  Sam understood, and either way, it wasn’t like he was unhappy with the results.  He wasn’t going to push Blaine any further.  “Do you want to get out of here?”

Blaine nodded, his demeanor suddenly changing.  His chest became more open, eyes more pleading.  “I was kind of hoping…if it was okay with you, could I move back into the apartment?”

Sam’s heart swelled.  “Technically, you never moved out.”  That got a wide smile from Blaine.  “Blaine, it’s your home, too.  I…I want you to come home.  And Teddy wants you to, too,” he threw in, as an attempt to soften the intensity of his statement.  “But mostly me.”

“Honestly, I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else,” Blaine said.

Sam ducked his head.  He didn’t know if it was too soon to ask, but he needed to know.  “So where does this leave us?”

Thankfully, it seemed like Blaine had known the question was coming.  He stepped forward, taking Sam’s hands in his.  

“Sam?”

Sam’s heart began to pound in his chest.

“I love you.”

Sam let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, the air coming out in a mix between a whoosh and sporadic laughter.  The sound would have been embarrassing, at any other time, but he didn’t care because it felt incredible to hear those words.

“I love you,” Blaine repeated, stepping closer.

“I love you, too, Blaine, I love you so much,” Sam blurted out in a rush, wondering if Blaine was going to kiss him then.

But he didn’t.  Blaine stopped, and Sam realized there was more he wanted to add.

“There’s a ‘but,’ isn’t there?”

Blaine nodded.  “I just need a little time, that’s all,” he explained.  “I’ve been in a relationship for what feels like forever.  I need to learn myself again, I need to reevaluate everything from mine and Kurt’s relationship so I don’t jump right in and make the same mistakes again.  I need to put myself on a new track.”  He squeezed Sam’s hands tightly, and Sam squeezed back, letting Blaine know that he understood.  “I know it sucks, me asking to move back in to the apartment and being around you all the time and still saying we can’t be together just yet, but I really think it’ll be what’s best for both of us in the end.”

“No, I totally get it,” Sam said.  “It might be torture, yeah, but it’ll be so worth it.  Take all the time you need.  I’ll be here.”

“And I want you to know that, no matter how long I take, I want to be with you.  Even if we have to go slow at first, for my sake.  I want to be with you.  I’m going to be with you, someday.”  He stepped a little bit closer, their toes touching.

“There is one thing I want to do, though.  Before we start the whole waiting thing.  Because I’ve kind of been wanting to do this for, like, seven years, and now that I know that I can, I’m just going to do it, okay?”

Sam frowned.  “Wh-“

Blaine cut him off with a kiss.  He wrapped his arms around Sam’s waist, pushing up on his toes so he could get the best angle.  Once Sam realized what was happening, he pulled Blaine close, kissing him back as best as he could.

He heard Cooper whoop in the background, whenever the hell he’d gotten in the hotel.

Sam had never been happier.

“Crap!”

Sam could only watch as the grenade his character threw, in the entirely wrong direction which was not his fault, exploded into a building and killed hundreds of his fellow soldiers.  He paused the game to let his brain take a break and looked at Teddy, who had been chewing loudly on a squeaky toy for the past ten minutes.

“How could you let that happen?”

Teddy bit his toy in response, the squeak piercing Sam’s ear.  Sam stared back at the TV screen, the ‘Return/Restart/Quit selection taunting him.  Maybe he should just accept that he was shit at video games and leave it at that.  But he couldn’t let a stupid video game get the best of him.

As he picked up the controller, guiding the cursor to ‘Restart,’ he heard the front door open.

“I’m home!” Blaine called from the hallway.  Sam turned, seeing Blaine bustling through the door, arms full of his umbrella, his audition binder, and plastic white sacks.  Teddy jumped up from the couch, still carrying his toy, and ran over to greet Blaine, who wrestled the toy from his mouth and tossed it across the room in a light version of fetch.  Teddy raced after the toy, giving Blaine a chance to get to the counter.

“You brought dinner?” Sam guessed.

“Yeah, figured we could use a treat.”  Blaine deposited the umbrella on the floor and the sacks onto the counter, the white boxes inside keeping them upright, before walking to his room to put down the binder.  Teddy, already bored with fetch, took his toy into Sam’s room.   Sam let him go, praying he wouldn’t trade his toy for any of Sam’s shoes.

“What’s the occasion?” Sam asked Blaine, knowing he shouldn’t watch him change into something more comfortable, but stealing a glance anyway.  Blaine’s back, muscles stretching as he raised his shirt over his head, was quite possibly one of the sexiest things he’d ever seen.

He did look away out of respect as Blaine shed his pants, though Blaine didn’t seem to care about modesty then as much as he usually did.  Blaine walked back into the living room once he was finished changing, wearing a soft t-shirt and sweatpants.

“I had a really crappy day today,” Blaine finally answered, walking over to the sink and ducking his head under the water to scrub out the gel.  He continued talking, louder so Sam could hear over the water.  “You know how I had that callback this morning?  Well, the subway broke down at a time where, like, everyone had to get to work, so I had to run, in the rain, to the callback.  I looked like a hot mess from the waist down, except completely and entirely without the ‘hot.’  There was no way I got that part.”

Blaine grabbed a towel and rubbed his hair dry, damp curls popping out frizzily after he removed the towel.

“I’m sorry,” Sam said, nearly tacking on a ‘babe’ at the end.  Six months later and he still had to control himself, had to remind himself that he and Blaine weren’t dating.  Yet.

Blaine shrugged him off.  “After the callback, I come outside and it’s stopped raining.  Which was great.  Until someone drove through a huge puddle and managed to splash my entire body.”  Blaine grabbed some plates out of the cabinet and began dishing out servings of food for both Sam and himself.  “And then I found an open call line, so I got in it, even though I was still soaked.  But I waited so long that my clothes nearly dried.  And then I waited so long that they closed the audition, and even though I finally have my Equity card and got to go before all of the non-Equity people, they still closed the audition before I got in.

“And then, on the way home, I stopped inside this Chinese restaurant that I’d never been to before to grab food for us, but I didn’t have any cash on me.  I know, stupid in New York, but I have to go to the bank soon anyway.  But they didn’t take cards.  Not even credit cards.  This is New York in 2020, who doesn’t take cards?  So I kept walking and got this food instead, and by that time it was like I might as well just walk all the way home instead of take the subway, but I’m pretty sure I stepped in pee at some point.”

Blaine frowned at himself.  “Wait.  That was- forget I said that last one.”

“I don’t know, I think it was the perfect cherry on top of how shitty your day was.”

“Yeah, but it was completely not - never mind.”  Blaine handed Sam his plate of food, his own still left on the counter.  He didn’t sit, so Sam set his food on the table next to him and stretched his arms out to Blaine.

“I’m really sorry your day sucked.  Do you want to cuddle later?  Make you feel better?”  Sam was joking, mostly, but Blaine looked as if Sam had stumbled upon the jackpot.

“Yes,” Blaine said seriously.  “Exactly.”

“Wait, what?” Sam asked, surprised.

“That’s my point, that’s exactly what I was trying to say.  Today was really crappy.  And some days are just crappy like this, where everything goes wrong.  But today made me realize that all day, every time something bad happened, or when I was waiting in line, tired and bored, all I wanted to do was come home to you.  At the end of a crappy day, I want you to hold me.  And kiss it better.  And maybe do, um, other things,” Blaine implied, blushing adorably.  “And I want to do all of those things on good days, too.  I want to be with you, Sam, and today made me realize that I don’t know why I’m waiting anymore.”

Tentatively, Blaine stepped between Sam’s legs and sat on his lap, wrapping his arms around Sam’s shoulders.  Sam’s arms instinctively circled around Blaine’s waist.

“So basically what I’m really hoping is for this, Chinese food and cuddling on the couch, to be our first date.  If you want.”

Sam tried to appear calm, even though his heart jumped up to his throat, nearly choking him on his own happiness.  “So does this mean you’re my boyfriend now?”

Blaine leaned close, touching his nose to Sam’s.  “Eager, aren’t we?” he teased.  “Just a little bit?”

Sam tilted his head up, catching Blaine’s lips in a kiss.  “You love me.”

“Yeah,” Blaine smiled.  “I do.”