quietlycloudy

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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    recursion (noun) : an algorithm used in iteration where the program goes a step deeper into itself with each loop until a condition is met

    As Shane stares across the club under the flickering lights at Ilya Rozanov, he thinks this might be the worst day of his life.

    Then he has to do it all over again.

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya’s still learning what Shane likes and needs, observing him quietly because Shane’s not so forthcoming with what he wants unless he’s certain it’s what he’s supposed to want. But it’s not until Shane reaches back and grabs Ilya’s hip to pull him closer, pressing their bodies together and taking some of Ilya’s weight, that he realises Shane’s been studying Ilya the same way.

    “I’m trying to take care of you.”
    “Why?” Ilya says, instead of something safer.
    Shane twists over his shoulder to frown at him. “Because I want to? Because you’re tired and sad and not feeling well?”
    “Oh.” Ilya pulls his bottom lip through his teeth. “But I…”
    “I think maybe we both fucked up tonight?” Shane says tentatively.
    “No, is not your fault.” Ilya rubs a hand over Shane’s shoulder and then kisses it, wet and soft. “You’re good.”
    Shane hums like he’s not convinced. He turns and drapes his arms over Ilya’s shoulders, still pressed close. “After this, will you…”
    “Yes,” Ilya says, his mind sharpening attentively, “Tell me what you need.”


    Or: They communicate just a little bit better and let themselves be just a little more vulnerable, both with each other and their people.

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    07 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 47

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    Shane has been the favorite son for twenty-nine years. Ilya, he’s sure, has never been the favorite son. Maybe when Irina was alive, maybe when he had his mother to adore him, to support him and encourage him, to cheer him on. But he’s never basked in the glow of people who love him, not like Shane has. When Ilya disappointed his parents (his real parents, not Shane’s), he had something to be afraid of, something real, real danger, real fear of losing, of not being good enough. Ilya was raised starving.

    Shane should be willing to share. He should want to.

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    04 Apr 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “You don’t mind, do you?” Shane asked, before he could stop himself.
    Ilya looked at him like he’d said something stupid. Shane cringed. “No, it is good for me,” Ilya said, his lip curling up. “Healthy competition.”

    After Sochi, Shane starts sleeping with another man. After Vegas, he picks back up with Ilya, too.

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    03 Apr 2026

  5. Rec *

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    The day after attending a charity event in Vancouver, Shane, Ilya, Scott, and a few other players board a plane to take them to Tampa for 2017 All Stars.

    The plane goes down somewhere in the wilderness, in the middle of a storm.

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    01 Apr 2026