Work Text:
JamesRhodes: Does Sam still live in DC?
IAmJamesBuchanan: trying to get with my man?
JamesRhodes: Trying to get out of this snow storm, more like.
JamesRhodes: And he was my man first.
IAmJamesBuchanan: nah if anything you were his
IAmJamesBuchanan: but yeah, we’re home. need a place to crash?
JamesRhodes: Yeah, if it’s not too much of a bother.
JamesRhodes: Tony left me out here in the freezing cold while he flew away and left me with a broken Iron Man suit.
IAmJamesBuchanan: asshole
IAmJamesBuchanan: this is why he and steve would be perfect for each other
IAmJamesBuchanan: then they can be assholes together
JamesRhodes: Or assholes to each other.
JamesRhodes: In Tony’s defense, I don’t think he realized that I wasn’t able to fly this suit.
JamesRhodes: I’m still feeling a bit abandoned in the cold, though. Winter in DC? Kind of brutal. If only my best internet friend would come and save me.
IAmJamesBuchanan: yeah yeah i’m coming
IAmJamesBuchanan: sammy’s coming too
JamesRhodes: Oooh Sammy, is it?
IAmJamesBuchanan: shut up
IAmJamesBuchanan: you’re not invited to my wedding
JamesRhodes: Not true. I go to all my exs’ weddings.
IAmJamesBuchanan: ok stalker
IAmJamesBuchanan: where are you?
JamesRhodes: Who’s the stalker now?
JamesRhodes: In DC.
JamesRhodes: Freezing my ass off.
IAmJamesBuchanan: no shit
IAmJamesBuchanan: i meant what area
JamesRhodes: Ohh. The capital.
IAmJamesBuchanan: alright give us a minute
IAmJamesBuchanan: sam said he’s excited to see you
IAmJamesBuchanan: whatever that means
IAmJamesBuchanan: granted we were about to sit down to watch the hobbit trilogy
IAmJamesBuchanan: as if he’s getting out of watching that
JamesRhodes: Oh my God.
JamesRhodes: I can’t believe Sam Wilson is dating a nerd
JamesRhodes: What have you done to him?
IAmJamesBuchanan: sam says that you were literally studying rocket science when you met
IAmJamesBuchanan: and that you graduated from mit
IAmJamesBuchanan: your best friend is literally tony stark. you’re clearly a nerd
JamesRhodes: Hey, details. I never said I wasn’t.
IAmJamesBuchanan: you’re annoying
JamesRhodes: We said it before: Sam Wilson has a type.
IAmJamesBuchanan: is that your way of calling me annoying?
IAmJamesBuchanan: i’ll have you know i take pride in being annoying.
IAmJamesBuchanan: whatever. sam isn’t getting out of movie night and neither are you
JamesRhodes: I’ll bring the frozen hands if you bring the popcorn and the mutual ex.
IAmJamesBuchanan: he’s not my ex, now is he jimothy?
JamesRhodes: Okay NOBDOY calls me that.
IAmJamesBuchanan: yet, james, yet.
IAmJamesBuchanan: i see you
IAmJamesBuchanan: freezing your ass off on the steps to the capital building
IAmJamesBuchanan: some friend you have
JamesRhodes: Why does Sam like you again? Because you’re mean?
IAmJamesBuchanan: it’s part of my charm
IAmJamesBuchanan: get in, i was promised cold hands
JamesRhodes: Oh I’ll show you cold, Barnes.
IAmJamesBuchanan: i’m counting on it
IAmJamesBuchanan: wow i really thought you and sam would have been more awkward
IAmJamesBuchanan: shoulda known that sam can’t turn off that charm of his to save his life
IAmJamesBuchanan: i almost feel like i’m intruding on something.
IAmJamesBuchanan: just almost, though. so really i don’t
JamesRhodes: I can’t believe you’re texting me right now.
JamesRhodes: I’m literally in your car. Two feet away from you.
JamesRhodes: And it’s not like Sam and I haven’t seen each other in the last few decades. We’re friends, we have mutual friends. He and Tony get together every now and then to gossip. Probably about me if I’m being honest.
JamesRhodes: But, nah, Man, Sam and I are cool. Why else do you think I knew he lived in DC?
IAmJamesBuchanan: fine. point to you.
IAmJamesBuchanan: i don’t care what sam offers you, though. you’re sleeping on the couch
JamesRhodes: After a Hobbit trilogy movie night? It sounds like we all are.
IAmJamesBuchanan: fine. you’re right. but if you’re going to cuddle with anyone, cuddle with me. sam’s all mine.
JamesRhodes: Ha. You have my word, Barnes. You don’t have to worry about me getting between you and Sam.
JamesRhodes: Now let’s stop ignoring your boyfriend and talk aloud like normal people.