Work Text:
Yin cringed as the mouse on the TV grabbed the pepper shaker and poured a large amount of pepper on the cat, which was cornering him. She put her hands over her eyes as the cat inhaled three times and sneezed violently, blowing himself into the wall. Yang, however, found this hilarious and laughed at the buildup, release and the aftermath. He continued laughing even after the sneeze ended. "Man! That was the best sneeze ever!" Yang said. "I bet I can sneeze like that!"
"Yang, I really don't think you should do that." Yin was frozen with fear as she imagined that. "It's really dangerous, and it'll hurt a lot."
"Two words. Who cares?" Yang asked, grabbing the remote and turning off the TV. He pulled Yin's arm and ran into the kitchen, with her trailing behind. He looked around for some pepper and gasped with delight as he saw the pepper shaker, right next to the salt shaker on the table. He let go of Yin and grabbed the pepper, aiming it towards his face and staring at the black stuff inside. "Watch this, Yin!"
"Yang, don't!" Yin shook her head, trying to convince Yang not to inhale the pepper. Instead, he went ahead, tilting his head back and shaking pepper into his face. A good amount of the spice made it into his nostrils, which enlarged to a disproportionate size as he took a big, deep sniff. "Uh-oh..."
Suddenly, he stopped. A massive, burning itch surged through his entire nose as he reflexively pulled the pepper away. His nose quickly turned a bright red hue as his nostrils began to flare involuntarily. His eyes watered slightly, and one of his monster sneezes began to build up. He began to take hitching gasps.
"Ah... Ahhhhhhhhh... Aaaaaaaaah..." Yang inhaled as the power of the sneeze grew and grew. His head tilted farther and farther back, and his mouth opened wider and wider with every single inhale. He really had to sneeze and instantly accepted his fate. He had sneezed a few times before, but it was one of his dreams to sneeze a really, really large and loud sneeze. The inhales continued, however, as though the sneeze was stuck. "Aaaaahhhh...! Aaaaaahhhhh! Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!"
Yang screwed off the pepper shaker's lid and dumped the entire container into his nostrils. Before long, his entire nose burned worse than acid spilled on a cut. Thanks to the pepper, the urge to sneeze became ten times worse. The resulting sneeze would surely be painful, but just imagining such a great, big, monstrous sneeze felt almost satisfying. Yin put her hands to the sides of her head, hoping she wouldn't hear too much of the sneeze. Yang's nose twitched and rumbled like a volcano about to erupt, and he took three more gasps before the sneeze escaped.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Yang's head shot forwards as he sneezed the sneeze he had always wanted to sneeze, completely uncovered. A small bit of clear mucus came out of his nose, filled with some of the black pepper that was making him sneeze so strongly. To Yang, the sneeze felt absolutely awesome. And it got even more awesome as Yang released a barrage of slightly smaller sneezes.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! AHHHHHH! CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAH! AHHHHHHHH! CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CHOOOOOOOOOOOO! CHOOOOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAHH! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! CHOOOOOOO-CHOOOOOOO-CHOOOOOOOOOOO-CHOOOOOOOOOOO-CHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! AH! AAH! AHHHH! AAAAAAAHHHHHH! CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Yang recovered from his absolutely tremendous sneezing fit, which had felt so painful it was fantastic. He panted a few times, with his nose running a bit from trying to expel every grain of pepper from his nose. He put the pepper shaker back on the table and rubbed his nose with his left forefinger. Yin was completely shell-shocked. She had seen lots of sneezing fits, but they were nothing compared to what Yang ended up with. She tried to say something, but the only word that came out was, "Wow."
"Man, that felt so awesome." Yang gave a weak smile. He was telling the truth. He may have wasted more than half of the dojo's supply of pepper trying to get that sneezing fit out, but on the plus side, the fit consisted of the best sneezes he had ever sneezed in his life. He knew Master Yo would be mad at him for doing something completely stupid, but for better or for worse, it was all worth it.
"Ha! That definitely sounds like something Yang would have done!" Lumpy said as he chuckled to himself. "I've actually done it myself..."
"Yeah, I know," Meowth said. "Everyone knows you've done it. This fanfic is so stupid..."
"But can you imagine if Yang actually decided to use pepper on himself and make himself sneeze?" Lumpy asked. "That sounds like the most Yang thing he'd ever do!"
"Shut up, Lumpy, this stupid show's been cancelled for almost nine years," Meowth responded as he rolled his eyes. "Who cares about it anymore?"
THE END