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It's A Shame I Didn't Try (Not That I Care Anyways)

Summary:

Inspired by the lovely Insomnia_Productions and their Soukoku poem, I decided to write one of my own, in my favorite poetry form - a villanelle. I definitely did not write this while putting off my actual poetry assignment for homework.

Chuuya reflects on his naivety during the time when Dazai started becoming distant, and on how he left not long after.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

You walked, my partner, and I let it be.
I wanted to reach out, to touch, to grasp, to hold onto you.
It’s a pity my pride got the better of me.

Perhaps it had been wishful thinking; I’d say you’d agree,
That of your most inner turmoil maybe I’d have had a clue.
You walked, my partner, and I let it be.

I laugh at myself, to think that I’d know to some degree
Of the things that haunted you and of the self-hatred that within you grew.
It’s a pity my pride got the better of me.

I had let myself think that you, of all people, would’ve made me a guarantee
To stay by my side in the corrupted world that our tale did spew.
You walked, my partner, and I let it be.

And while you grew ever so distant from my sight, that night, passing by that old tree,
I realized I never put so much as a dent into saving you, for that you left and I knew.
It’s a pity my pride got the better of me.

Of all the horrors we’d witnessed, from our boyhood days in the mafia, it wasn’t hard to see
That it took more a toll on you than I thought it ever did me – all that we’d been through.
You walked, my partner, and I let it be.
It’s a pity my pride got the better of me.

Notes:

Thank you for taking the time to read this little poem of mine! I'm glad to have been able to contribute to this fandom. Leave a comment if you need any clarification on anything, enjoyed it, or felt personally assaulted by the level of angst. I tried.