Chapter Text
The sand settled beneath her as she flopped down. She pressed the bottle to her lips and let the liquid fill her mouth. There was a satisfying burn as the amber liquid passed over the split in the bottom lip and then again as she swallowed. It was a beautiful night, the air around the water cool enough to wear a hoodie, the sky was clear and the moon shone brightly from above. This was the most at peace she had felt in days. She stared out into the water, the replay of the past few weeks finally coming to a slow end in her head. You really know how to mess things up, Swan, she thought. The alcohol numbed the pain, both internal and external. The bottle had just started its path back to her lips again when the shadow approached from out of the corner of her eye. She passed it to the left as her best friend sank down beside her. They sat in silence for a while, just passing the alcohol back and forth.
“Wanna talk about it?” Ruby asked as she swallowed another mouthful. Emma shrugged. She wasn’t too sure that there really was anything to talk about. She screwed up, and now this was the price she had to pay.
“How did you know I was here?”
“It’s hard to call the sheriff when she’s starting the bar fights. Surprisingly enough, it was Leroy who called me. They said you walked out and headed in this direction.” Ironic, the town drunk calling for assistance.
“I fucked up, Rubes.” She twisted the lid back onto the bottle and let it fall between them.
“I heard. I’d like to hear your side though. Blowing up like that isn’t you. What’s going on?”
Emma laid back, her arms folded behind her head. “Everything just keeps falling apart.”
“You mean your relationship with Killian? You didn’t honestly expect that to work, did you?” She rolled onto her side, her head cradled in her hand. She licked at the wound on her lip, giving some thought to Ruby’s question.
“No,” she replied after several long minutes. “It’s just --,”
“Life. Yeah, I get that,” Ruby interrupted, impatiently. “Emma, you knew he wasn’t any good for you the first three times you dated him. I went through hell trying to get my friend back after that last time.”
“I know, I know. We’re toxic together.”
“Then why go back?”
Emma shrugged, “I didn’t have to think about anything when I was with him. It was purely physical. Things were going so well with Regina. We were doing the whole family thing, dinners together almost every night, tucking the kid in together; hell, I was cooking breakfast for them on Sundays. It was nice, something I’ve never had before. But then, I don’t know, the past couple of months’ things started getting a little…weird.”
“Define weird.”
“I…last month, she told me she loved me. Last week, she asked me to move in. I mean I was already there most nights anyway, so it only made sense, but, I don’t know,” she rambled on for another couple of minutes before Ruby pulled her into a hug.
“You chicken shit. You’re so afraid that everyone is going to get a glimpse of one of your flaws that you run as far away from anyone who even shows a little bit of interest in you before they get a chance to see what a beautiful mess you really are.”
“When I saw him at the bar with that girl, I just…I lost my shit. He sweet talked his way back into my bed, Ruby, and then a week later he’s at the bar with someone else.”
“He’s a jerk, you knew that.”
“How do I tell Regina?” She grabbed the bottle from the sand and twisted the lid off. “How do I tell her that just days after running out on her, I slept with my ex?” She swallowed several times before pulling the bottle away. “I always ruin everything.”
“She loves you. Yes, she might be a little hurt right now, but I think you guys can move passed this. Go talk to her.” Ruby pushed herself to her feet, then held a hand out to help Emma up.
“Can you come with me?”
“I’ll walk with you as far as Granny’s, then you’re on your own.”
###
She turned down Mifflin Street with her hands in her pockets. Going to talk to Regina was a lot harder than it seemed, she couldn’t help but think of all the ways it would end badly. She had stopped and turned around three times before she had made it that far. Her back pocket began to vibrate, but she didn’t even have to look at it to know who it was.
“Quit stalling, Swan,” Emma had barely hit the answer button and lifted the phone to her ear as Ruby's voice came through.
“I thought I was on my own?”
“You were until I saw you pass by the front window of the diner two times.”
“What am I supposed to say, Ruby? Hey, Regina, I know I ran when you asked me to move in but I really love you, and I want us to work. Also, I slept with Killian last week.”
“Umm, yeah, something like that. C’mon, Em, this isn’t rocket science. This is the woman you lo-,” Emma hit the end call button and slid the phone back into her pocket. She paused just outside of the gate and took several deep breaths. This is it. She found herself on the porch in no time, her hand outstretched, knocking on the door. Emma waited several minutes for Regina to answer, but as time approached the five-minute mark, she decided to turn around and head home.
“Emma?"