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Of stupid bosses and meaningless actions

Summary:

What would happen if one night Felicity was in the Foundry when Digg and Oliver came back with Oliver injured? But it wasn't through a fight, it was through him being stupid, and not keeping an eye on what he was doing and where he was standing

Notes:

I got the idea for this fic after my friend and I had been discussing the Sims (there was a sale on, I think there still is, I just got a new laptop and we were chatting to each other while I redownloaded the games) and we started to talk about all the daft ways our Sims have died, then the whole thing just snowballed. This is the first time I've tried to write Oliver Queen and John Diggle and I'm not genuinely 100% certain that I've managed to capture the characters, let me know what you think

Work Text:

Felicity sighed to herself as she wondered whether or not her boss understood how not to get hurt.  Like, did no one ever teach him on the Island?  No one, even earlier than that?  Because he had learned that running with scissors was a bad, stupid, quite dangerous pastime, right?  Surely he had learnt at some point how to convincingly lie?  If Tommy were right, you would completely expect a big, massive playboy to learn how to lie?  Surely, he had a bit of practice at least one of the four Ivy League colleges he had flunked dropped out off all before becoming a Robinson Crusoe style castaway?

 

If he had the lesson had so clearly not sunk into the man’s head.

 

Which led Felicity to the current point in time, she huffed as she rolled back from the computer desk stretching out her shoulders as she darted over towards the medical bay.  Though was it a medical bay if there was only one ‘bed’ which couldn’t even earn the title bed because it was, in essence, a stainless steel table?  Hearing Patricia’s, the Slayer’s Chief Medical Resident, voice in her head, Felicity spread out some of the clean tissue type covering over the bed, and squirted some Cutan Hand Sanitizer over her hands, taking the time to make sure that the Bacteria Killer was properly rubbed into her skin.

 

Spinning round in a small form of shock when she heard the door to the Foundry bang open, Felicity moved out of the way, still not sure how she would explain her vastly superior strength, or even if she wanted to, Digg had to get through.  Once Digg had deposited his cargo of heavy (probably mostly musculature but Felicity took her breaks where she could) billionaire onto the medical table, Felicity surveyed her boss.  Why did the guy have to come back covered in blood?  Had he been in a fight?  Darting forward to squirt John’s hands with some of the Cutan, she wondered to herself what the hell kind of germs Digg was carrying in with himself, especially if he had been out in the field, fighting. 

 

She didn’t even want to think about what had happened out there.  It was a massive side eye!

 

“Alright, what happened out there?” she asked John eyeing her boss with a worried look.

 

“I don’t know Felicity; I swear to God that guy needs a tracker or something, have I become responsible for him?  I didn’t even want a dog as a kid; Andy did, not me!  Why do I always end up looking after these stupid white people who seem to like nothing more that injure themselves?” John started to rant before Felicity cut him off.

 

“Gee thanks, Digg!  But what the hell happened, where did this massive cut happen?” Felicity barked as she raised her eyebrow in amusement as she surveyed her bleeding boss.

 

“He cut himself, he wasn’t even in a fight, except for the fight with the fence railing.”

 

“Alright, not like him to be so clumsy, what was he doing when he cut himself?” Felicity asked as she helped Digg roll Queen over.

 

“He was on the phone; he just seems to zone out sometimes” Digg rolled his eyes as he helped his boss out of his jacket, wincing when he saw some of the spreading red stains from blood spreading across his lower back and strangely his entire left arm.

 

“Alright, does he need stitches?  Do you want me to get you the needles?” Felicity was startled when the man she had previously thought of as an outwardly stoic man huffed a small laugh out.

 

 

“No, my hands are too big, and Queen is such a whiny baby, about it, do you mind?”

 

Glancing in shock over at the man, Felicity busied herself adjusting a small tourniquet to the arm, before gently cleaning off some of the excess blood with a bit of damp tissue paper.  Once she could see the wound, Felicity took the time to clean the surrounding corded skin and flesh with a strong and potent alcoholic disinfectant wipe; she wanted to make sure that the area of skin was clean and sterile before she closed up the wound.

 

No point in letting germs get into his bloodstream.

 

“No, just hold him down, while I do this” Felicity calmly spoke while snapping on a pair of the rubber, plastic feeling medical grade gloves, smirking along with Digg as Oliver shuddered beneath them at the sound.  Was Oliver thinking of maybe a traumatic scrotum examination appointment?

 

“Alright, hold him down here, while I do this, who was he talking to?” Felicity asked as she started to clean around the wound.

 

“Oh, it’s so obvious you’ll kick yourself for not guessing, wanna guess?”

 

“Just tell me, Diggle, you know you want too” Felicity tried to cajole the man as she pulled the small aluminium tray towards her.

 

“It was, of course, the Gorgeous Laurel, why he was ringing her, actually why was she taking the call?  Doesn’t she hate the guy?  Isn’t there all that bad blood between the two?  I just don’t understand” not many people knew, but Digg could be a surprising gossip at times.

 

Who knew that the former army soldier turned into such a little old lady at times? 

 

Felicity hummed to herself as she focused in on sewing up the small wounds.

 

 

 

Rubbing a moist (eugh, she hated that word – moist) cloth over the wound, Felicity thought and spoke “haven’t you ever fallen time and time again for the wrong person?  Even though you know that the relationship is so toxic?  Not just to you and the person you’re in the relationship, because hey I don’t judge, but to everyone else in your nearby vicinity?  But because you feel like you owe the person something, you still go back into your old habits?” Felicity’s voice took on a wistful tone, Digg probably thought that Felicity was thinking back on some of her personal romantic history.  Felicity thought that she wasn’t even sure, if she was thinking back on some of her more ‘chequered’ history, did she even have any skeletons hidden away in her closet?

 

 

 

Damn, maybe she was as vanilla as she feared?

 

Though, Felicity opted to tell herself that she just didn’t go back on her past mistakes. 

 

As Edna Mole said ‘I don’t look back darling, it distracts from the now!’ maybe that wasn’t exactly what she said but shush you were in Felicity’s mind, where nothing made sense.  Because sense was for chumps and her mind was a scary place!

 

“Alright, that’s it, you’re done, does he need a tetanus shot?” Felicity broke through the fog of Digg’s contemplative expression.

 

“Yeah, couldn’t hurt to give him one, can I give it to him?” Digg’s evil grin split his face; he was no doubt thinking of some of the more degrading things that Oliver had made him do, certainly that night in particular.

 

“Whoa, should I step out of the room?” Felicity made her way over to the small drawers containing the sealed bags full of the phials of vaccinations.

 

Because sometimes the Island Herbs just didn’t work adequately!

 

And if Queen insisted on using the Eastern remedies instead of going to the doctors (because he was rich he probably had a health insurance policy, or at least his mother probably did) for things like open heart surgery or brain surgery!

 

Maybe that was oversimplifying the problem, was that oversimplifying the problem?

 

Yeah, that was most likely making Queen’s dependence on the Eastern remedies of herbs and poultices, seem like the be all and end all.

 

Whatever, rant over!

 

Realising that her thoughts had played out across her face, she started preparing a small needle; Felicity double checked to see if the site of her intended injection was clean.  Twisting the arm back and forth in her hands, she found a good sized vein and closed her eyes briefly ready to inject.  Opening them, she met Digg’s nod and plunged the needle into the skin and vein, knowing that the best way was just to get the whole thing over and done with, so the anticipation and dread couldn’t build up too much, much better to get it over and done with.

 

Depressing the small plunger, Felicity watched as some of the liquid moved out of the small phial.  Thinking privately to herself that she should try to brush up some more on her medical knowledge, Felicity loosened the small tourniquet and took it off the arm.  Moving away from the now irritable billionaire, she took the gloves off, trying to rub some much-needed feeling back into her fingers.

 

“Alright, Digg, now you, did anything happen to you while out on patrol?” Felicity tiredly asked her friend, giving his body a cursory examination, not completely satisfied that she hadn’t been able to spot any injuries.

 

“No, none on me, I just had to hurry to get the dynamic dumbass here, back, so no fighting for me I’m afraid.  Probably just a pulled muscle, I’ll get some ice on it when I get home, though, no need to worry.” Digg explained in his soothing rumble.

 

“Wait, what happened?  Why am I back here?  Didn’t we go out on patrol tonight?” Oliver’s confused voice breaks through the companionable atmosphere.

 

“Oh, look who’s awake, how are ya feeling Sleeping Beauty?” Digg mockingly responded, winking at Felicity, who had amusedly raised an eyebrow when the man awoke with what could only be described as a start.

 

“Look, Queen, I don’t give a damn what you do in your private time, but while you’re out in the field, you are only out in the field at that time do you understand?  The only person you should be answering calls from is Felicity here if your comms breakdown”

 

“Hey” Felicity interrupted in protestation.

 

“Sorry Felicity, but man you don’t EVER get distracted out there.  How the hell am I supposed to protect you out there if you keep disappearing and pining after your ex?  Man, you are lucky that you only needed a tetanus shot today, next time you may give yourself a concussion or get yourself seriously wounded by getting shot. Man, are you even listening to me?” Digg lectured continuing to look incredibly pissed off with his boss.

 

“Yes, yes but Laurel rang, I had to answer it could have been important” Oliver started to sound like a whiny baby as he tried to defend himself.

 

Felicity snorted drawing attention to herself once again, holding her hands up when she realised that she had drawn attention to herself once again.

 

“I’m going to go here, see you guys on Monday.”

 

“Wait Monday?  Why aren’t you coming in at the weekend?” Oliver whipped round at Felicity’s declaration.

 

“Not that it’s any of your damn business why I’m not coming in, but it’s the weekend, remember those?”

 

“Whoa, why so defensive?  It was a simple question, I just want a simple answer, and I think I deserve it.” It was now Oliver’s turn to raise his hands defensively when Felicity and Digg turn to stare at him disbelievingly.

 

Huffing to herself, Felicity ignored Queen as she made her way out of the Foundry, she wasn’t going to explain herself to that stupid man-child again.  He didn’t need to be informed yet again of Felicity’s religion and her choices.

 

She may not be the strictest Jewish person anymore, but she did tend to fall back into the habits of the religion she was brought up to believe in.  But ever since she was a child, when she wasn’t finding answers to the latest conundrum, or even when she just wanted a little bit more comfort in her already topsy-turvy life. 

 

Who the hell did Oliver Queen think he was to get in the way of that?

 

Making her way out through the side door of the Club, thank goodness she wouldn’t have to deal with any drunk people tonight, she was so not in the mood for that.  Felicity made her way to her car; she was so relieved that it was a Friday night and that she could now relax given that it was the weekend.  Folding herself into her car, Felicity held her face in her hands for a moment, while she silently gathered together some of her energy.

 

Making the quiet road trip home, Felicity pulled over as her phone began to ring, smiling that it was one of her old friends from the Scottish branch of the Watcher’s Council.

 

“Hey, Aoife, how’s it going?  How’s the injury treating you?”

 

“I’ve designed several nice new homes and created some new families if that tells you anything?” Aoife grumbled to her friend.

 

“I suppose that’s so, how many have you killed?” Felicity laughed trying to strike the right balance between concerned and sarcastic.

 

“Um, well a lot, I mean I’ve created Sims exactly like some of the people who annoy me in real life and put them in the swimming pool and taken the ladder out, so they drown.  Stupid idjits can’t work out how to climb out of a pool without a ladder.  You played any of it recently?” Aoife grunted.

 

“No, I mean I made a family a few weeks and got bored of the characters so I may have set fire to their home because that wanted to move a new family into the house.  But I haven’t had a chance to play in a while.  Anyway, what do you need Aoife?” Felicity muttered.

 

“Nothing, I just wanted a whine and a moan, I’m bored here, do you know that I managed to completely read the ‘Song of Ice and Fire’ books.  Give me something new to do ‘City” Aoife whined managing to pull off what she had previously thought of as impossible, sound sweet even when being an annoying pain in the ass.

 

“Are you cleared for any research?  Because if you are, you could always do some research about some of the signs I’ve noticed cropping up in dear ole Starling?” Felicity offered, knowing that her friend would refuse.

 

“Ooh, you know now just really isn’t a good time, I mean I have to focus on getting better for now, but maybe next time I won’t pass, okay sweetums?” Aoife once again sounded weak, making Felicity laugh even harder.

 

“Well, let me know, listen Aoife I am insanely tired right now, I’m going to have to let you go, I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

 

“Okay, bye sweetie” Aoife hung up pathetically leaving Felicity to leave her phone on the counter.  Making her way into the kitchen, Felicity pulled out a small carton of milk, pouring it into a glass.  Humming around a massive yawn, Felicity put the glass into the microwave and pressed a few buttons waiting for the milk to heat up.

 

While Felicity was waiting for the milk to heat up, she made her way into the bathroom, scraping off her makeup and taking out her earrings.  Making her way back to the kitchen, Felicity took the glass of milk and downed it all in one gulp.  Leaving her glass upside in the kitchen sink, Felicity made her way back into the bathroom.  Shoving a toothbrush into the mouth, Felicity tiredly brushed her teeth, ready for bed.

 

A bit of sleep would do her a world of good now.

 

Felicity just collapsed into the bed, asleep and blind to the world before her head even hit the pillow.  It would be a relief to think that she had gotten a nice clean, nine hours of sleep.