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It all started innocently enough. On his birthday, Kaneki received presents from everyone they knew. He also got some from people Amon didn’t know and, here’s the kicker, people that Kaneki didn’t know. While Kaneki had smiled and thanked everyone, a small furrow dug itself between Amon’s eyebrows.
Still, Amon had thought it was a one time thing (or a once a year thing). He thought he could get over it. He wasn’t jealous.
And yet…
People really needed to learn to keep their hands to themselves (really, it was only polite). That…Tsukiyama (Kaneki kept telling him he said the man’s name like he was trying to scrape it off his tongue, but Amon would NEVER be so childish) kept toying with Kaneki’s hair. Dressing him up. Ogling his bared lower back like some delicious meal. Amon stepping into his view was pure coincidence (the glare that followed wasn’t though).
That Eto, king of the ghouls or god or whatever, was also clearly aiming to lose a finger or two. She l I c k e d his boyfriend! Licked him! On the FACE (well, technically it was the eye, something that Kaneki said couldn’t be construed as making a move at all, but ghouls were weird and Amon had his doubts).
For the purpose of “mask-making” (“Stop putting that in quotes, Koutarou! It’s actually his job!”), Uta had to put his hands all over Kaneki’s face. Amon had seen him linger, pulling at Kaneki’s squishy cheeks, poking at his pouty bottom lip. Uta was clearly a pervert criminal. Amon was just doing his civic duty by learning how to stitch leather.
Worst of all was Touka. She’d look at him (like she was taunting him) and would caress Kaneki’s shoulders or hair and…his boyfriend would just melt (damn her!!!). This went on constantly whenever Amon was in the room. He couldn’t even do anything about it (though he was not jealous) because Kaneki looked so pleased!!
But then…
Hinami caught on that Kaneki liked the cuddles and now she was ALWAYS stuck to his side like a leech (she was a cute kid, but she also gave him smug looks from underneath Kaneki’s arm). Ayato, that little brat, followed in his sister’s footsteps as well. Of course, his caresses were a little violent, though not violent enough to hide their true nature (”I’m pretty sure he’s trying to beat me up, Koutarou. He also pulled my hair! How is that a caress!?”)!
Amon was pretty sure he heard Ayato call Kaneki daddy too…
(Kaneki busted a gut laughing when Amon brought it up. He couldn’t make out much past the tears and whatnot, but it sounded like Ayato actually called Kaneki A-dad-ta?)
All in all, Amon had to put his foot down. It was obvious that
A) Kaneki’s friends were trolling him
B) Kaneki’s non-friends and stalkers were creepy perverts
And
C) When strangers saw all this touchy-feely stuff going on, they assumed that they could touch Kaneki, too! Which was! Not! Allowed!
The next time they all got together, Amon very pointedly stuck to Kaneki’s side all night. No one had the chance to sit next to him. No one got to cuddle him because damn it all, Amon was there first. When some stalkers showed up, Amon beat them off with a stick (or a quinque).
A sense of victory followed him until they got home. The moment they had both gotten into bed, Kaneki collapsed into endless giggles.
“You are so obvious,”
He said, looking up at Amon with tears in his eyes,
“They love it when you get jealous. This is going to be gossip fodder for months.”
Amon frowned and crossed his arms. Glaring a hole in their bedspread, he muttered,
“I’m not jealous…”
Kaneki rolled over, rearranging himself so his head was in Amon’s lap.
“Babe,”
He said (smiling in that way that Amon couldn’t resist…how was he this lucky? Ugh, he couldn’t resist giving his boyfriend at least one quick kiss),
“I love it when you get jealous, too. Why do you think I let Nishiki touch my butt?”
“HE DID WHAT!?”
Amon’s screech didn’t quite manage to smother Kaneki’s hysterical laughter.