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Chris
Chris didn't take much seriously and Vilde took everything seriously but that’s why they were friends. Chris helped Vilde relax and laugh while Vilde kept Chris in line so she wouldn’t go too far off course. Sure, Vilde was dramatic and talked too much but she was always down to party, loved hard, and was always there for her friends. Chris loved Vilde like a sister, and she was ride or die for her.
“For once it would have been really nice if you could have defended me Chris!”
That hurt, she didn’t tell Vilde or anyone else but, that really hurt her. She always had Vilde’s back, she just didn’t make a big thing about it. If someone called her annoying or made fun of her, Chris didn’t say anything in that moment but she got revenge. Just ask Britt Haugen who’d told Vilde she was a “fat bitch” at some party in grade 9 and in a few days had dog poop in her locker. She didn’t want attention for it, she just wanted people who hurt Vilde to suffer for hurting her best friend.
Chris loved Vilde, she defended Vilde, and she paid attention to Vilde. So, if her best friend was having a sexual identity crisis, you bet your ass she was aware of it. She first noticed one night at some party Ingrid had invited them to before they were kicked off her bus. As usual, Vilde had too much wine and started complaining that she wanted someone to kiss.
“Chris, do you think Sara’s pretty?” She had asked, slinging an arm around her.
“Yeah.” Chris had shrugged in reply, not thinking much of the question.
“She has nice lips, I bet the boys who kiss her like them.” She kept musing, staring at Sara who was flirting with some second year. “I wonder what it’s like to kiss her.”
Chris turned her head and furrowed her brow in confusion. Was Vilde just drunk or was she drunk and serious? Turns out it was the latter because the girl in question got wide-eyed and red in the face.
“I’m just kidding, I…I’m going to the bathroom.” She sputtered out and ran off so quickly, she knocked over a couple that was making out in the middle of the floor.
Chris didn’t take much seriously but if Vilde needed something, that got her full attention.
Eva
Eva liked kissing and Eva liked drinking. She had held herself back for so long and now she just wanted to live and have fun. So when no boys would kiss her at the Penetrator party, she chose Vilde. Jonas had a new girlfriend, Isak rejected her, and Vilde looked so delicate and pretty standing next to Chris, that she forgot Chris was even there when Noora shoved her into Vilde’s arms.
“Do you want to make out with me?”
She wanted someone to make her feel wanted and who better than one of her best friends? It went on until the alcohol caught up with her, and Vilde brought her outside to take care of her. Frankly, none of that made her think anything about Vilde, except that she had soft lips and was a great friend, but what happened on the way home was another story.
“I’ve never kissed a girl before.” Vilde whispered with Eva was under her arm, fighting off the urge to fall asleep.
“Me neither.” She croaked out. “Sorry.” She felt like she’d ruin the blonde’s evening. She seemed so far away, like the kiss had ruined everything. She had no idea about her seeing Noora and William so, she put the blame solely on herself.
“It was nice. If you want to do it again, we could. You know, at a party or anywhere.” That sobered Eva up a bit and she looked up at her to see if she was joking or not. Vilde didn’t look at her but the way her hand on Eva’s shoulder tensed, she was serious. Eva wasn’t upset or against the idea, just surprised and drunk so she struggled for a reply. Every time she thought of this moment she wished she could’ve said something, anything, because if she had, Vilde probably wouldn’t have said,
“Like for boys, boys like lesbians.” She was lying. Eva was drunk but she wasn’t far gone enough to fall for Vilde’s act. She almost wished Noora was there to give Vilde a rant about feminism and doing things for boys attention, because at least someone would be speaking.
Vilde never brought it up again so neither did Eva. If Vilde kissed her again, Eva didn’t make a big deal about it. When Vilde told the girls that their kissing made her horny, Eva didn’t make a big deal about it. If Vilde stared at her for too long to be platonic, Eva didn’t make a big deal about it. Whatever Vilde was feeling or dealing with, Eva would let her deal with it in her way while keeping a close eye on her.
Eskild
Noora had left with William, Isak had taken her room, and Eskild need to blow off some steam. It was Pride in Norway and he was getting his plans in order for the party when he got a text from Eva.
“Can the girls and I tag along to pride? x”
He knew it would bug Noora if he hung out with “her” friends without her but she couldn’t stop him. He told Eva when to meet him, where to buy tickets, and promised to get them their alcohol. When the day came, he noticed two closet cases: Isak at home and Vilde, hours into the party crying outside. Isak is a story for another day, Vilde is our focus now.
He’d stepped out with a guy to get a little air and make out in semi-private. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Vilde.
“One second.” He told his future one night stand and sat by her. “Hey, cutie, want me to get your girls?”
“No.” She shook her head and looked up at him, the sight tugging at his heart-strings. She’d been fine all day. She had been drinking, laughing, and while he had to stop her three times from saying “I love the gays!”, she was having fun. Now, her eyes were dull and red and she looked like she wanted to escape the world.
“What’s wrong?” He took her hand, squeezing it gently, not wanting to push but he did want to get laid and taking care of her was not his idea of celebrating Pride.
“You’re all very brave…I wish I was brave.” She met his eyes and it was like she was screaming at him but he was gone himself and unable to read exactly what was upsetting hr.
“You’re wonderful Vilde. You’re sweet, you’re pretty you’re fun, and, yes, you’re brave. Don’t let anyone, including yourself, tell you that you aren’t.” He meant every word, genuinely having a soft spot for these girls. She pulled him into a tight hug, face buried in his chest and didn’t let go to the point where he had to look back at his hookup, and mouth “be right there.”
As he looked back on that moment, he knew what she pleading him to do; ask if she was gay or at least what’s wrong. That way, it would’ve been him to bring it up which would’ve taken the pressure from her a bit. He’s glad he didn’t notice, she needed to do it on her own. He’s glad that all he did was calm her down enough to bring her back to the girls and call them a cab back to Eva’s. He’s glad he held her, made her feel safe, and reminded her she mattered to a lot of people.
Magnus
Magnus wasn’t stupid. A lot of people thought he was a joke, incapable of taking things seriously or having emotional depth but he was perceptive. He was far more emotionally aware than anyone knew but he didn’t want to make a big deal of it. He’d learned to sense patterns with his mom, he’d helped Isak with Even, and he knew Vilde was gay.
He’d lost his virginity to her the night after the Christmas party and it was great…for him. He hadn’t given it proper attention during because he was too high off of the feeling but she barely reacted to anything. She seemed like she wanted to like it, explaining to him what to do and what she liked but nothing to a reaction. He noticed that she didn’t finish like he did but when he offered to help, she’d gotten quiet and pushed him off.
“I’m sorry, was it that bad?’ He asked her. He was happy to say he’d had sex but embarrassed that the girl he’d done it with seemed like she wanted to puke.
“No, no, it was fine, it was your first time and you were good.” She was lying, his sex high didn’t make him stupid.
“What’s wrong?’ He tried to wrap his arm around her but she shrugged him off.
“I’m sorry, I think I’m getting sick…probably some food from last night.” She ran off to the bathroom and within moments he heard gagging.
“Should I get you something?” He felt so ashamed, what had he done to her? She was silent for a few moments before her soft request came through the door.
“Can you get my phone? I need to call Noora.” He did it right away. She didn’t tell him to go but, he wasn’t stupid, so he got ready. He started to get dressed but he couldn’t help but listen and the conversation. He’s both relieved and sad that he did. He didn’t get it all but Vilde had made herself throw up, she was sorry, she feels wrong, and she wants to like him. He sent her a text as he left.
“There’s nothing wrong with you.”
He gets a response the next morning.
“Want to watch a movie at my house Friday? x”
He goes and, at first, they have fun. They watch some shitty movie, laugh, and no one tries to touch or kiss anyone; it’s nice. When it’s over, she starts kissing him and she says she wants to have sex with him again, but he’s not stupid, so he tells her no.
“Why not? You’re a guy, you’re supposed to want it all the time!’ She’s not upset, she’s angry.
“You don’t want to.” Maybe he is stupid because that observation gets him yelled at and thrown out. Vilde doesn’t speak to him or look at him for a while after that but he’s not stupid, it has nothing to do with him and he’ll be there for her when she’s ready.
Even
Even only knows Vilde as the chipper, type-A girl who pops up every so often asking Isak to do something to help his future social standing. He likes her though, she doesn’t mean any harm and she’s a nice source of amusement. So, when she approaches him outside the school as he waits for Isak to finish a text, he’s happy to see her.
“Even! Glad to catch you without Isak!”
“Why’s that?”
“He’d be mad if he heard what I’m going to ask.” She sighed and looked him square in the eye, like she had nothing to lose. “You like boys and girls, right?” He nodded, but his guard started to go up, unsure if he was going to like this. Even wasn’t defensive like Isak but he knew what people thought about bisexuals and he was ready to give her his speech about how bisexuality was valid. “How did you know?”
That, took him by surprise.
“I don’t know. I just, I knew I liked girls because it’s acceptable to like girls. I didn’t feel pressured, it was just easy to like something people expect you to, you know?” She nodded, hanging off his every word like his answer was the most important thing in the world. “And then I started to notice boys and I thought it’d be nice to kiss and date them too but it didn’t diminish that I wanted to date girls. Over time, I just knew I liked both.”
“You don’t like one better? Like being with Isak isn’t better than your ex-girlfriend because he’s boy?”
“No. I like my relationship with Isak better but it’s not because he has a penis.” His answer didn’t seem to help her, if anything, she looked more upset. “Are you okay?”
“Nothing, I was just curious about you. Every time I see you, it’s at a party with Isak attached to you so I just wanted to get to know you.”
“Well, you can ask me anything, even if Isak is here. I won’t let him be mean to you.” He winked at her, relieved to see some stress leave her body.
“I’m not mean to Vilde.” They turned to see Isak there, his brow furrowed.
“You snapped at her for asking where to buy a Christmas tree.” Even reminded him and Vilde smiled, happy to be defended. Isak, confused by the new bond between her and his boyfriend just rolled her eyes. Vilde left them, smiling one last time at Even who had a feeling he’d be seeing that smile more often.
Vilde
Vilde had always believed she was supposed to be a certain way: skinny, happy, and dating a handsome, well-off boy. That’s what society told her, and that’s what her mother told her so she sacrificed a lot to get there.
She lost her virginity to the most popular guy in school because she knew it would give her status. She starved herself, worked out too much, and made herself throw up to get a better body and make said boy want her. She did it because maybe then she wouldn’t feel so empty, maybe then her mother would accept her, maybe then she’d be the most popular girl in school and she’d love herself.
It didn’t work but she still learned to love herself.
She had Chris, who made her laugh and had been with her every step of the way no matter what stupid thing she did or said. Chris accepted her from day one, and she’d never forget that.
She had Sana, who she’d been so rude to for no reason other than ignorance. Sana, who always told her when she was in the wrong and even if she hated it, she grew from it. Sana, who opened her mind and changed her.
She had Noora, who was everything Vilde wanted to be. Confident, strong, perfect body, wanted by the hottest guy in school. Yet, Noora told her she was pretty and brought her lunch; she looked out for her. If Noora thought she was special, she had to be.
She had Eva, and maybe it would never happen for real but she loved Eva. Eva, who’s presence had changed everything. Eva got them invited to a Penetrator party and then another one and it brought a lot of drama but it brought her to a party where they kissed. You’d think what hurt her the most that night was seeing Noora kissing William but it wasn’t, it was how much she loved kissing Eva; more than any boy. Eva, who’d changed everything.
She had Magnus who was hurt by her rejection but didn’t hate her. He looked out for her at parties if she’d had too much to drink. He defended her when people said she was weird, loud, and annoying. He was nice, overly talkative like her and, frankly, if she couldn’t make their compatibility work, what guy could she make it work with?
She had Eskild, Isak, and Even. They were all just being themselves but who they were was something people disrespected. Despite that, they still went out and admitted to the world who they were and who they loved. They inspired her.
All of these people showed her she was okay, she was loved, and she mattered. She didn’t have to be “perfect”, and she didn’t have to like boys. She just had to be herself and, hopefully, love who she was.
“I called all of you here to share something very important.” She stood in Eva’s living room, staring down her girls, Eskild, Even, Isak, and Magnus. “I…I am a lesbian.” For the first time in Vilde’s life, she felt like she was completely authentic, and her eyes began to well up at the admission. She’d held it in for so long, and she was finally free. Eva was the first to react, she stood and pulled Vilde into a tight embrace. She didn’t say anything, she just held her and pulled away, smiling softly at her.
Everyone’s reactions touched her heart in different ways. Noora gave her a gentle hug, saying she was proud of her. Eskild told her the same and offered to tell her the best bars for lesbians when she was ready. Sana had smiled, her dimples showing, and said she was still mad at her for some dumb comment she’d made at lunch; her way of saying she accepted her. Chris had high-fived her, pulled her into a bear hug, and ruffled her hair. Isak had squeezed her shoulder and congratulated her but the way he looked into her eyes said it all. Even smiled brightly and kissed her cheek, telling her he was happy for her.
Vilde was happy to have their love and support, truly she was, but most importantly she loved herself. She finally loved and accepted herself, and that’s what mattered.
It also helped that after the “meeting”, Eva had pecked her on the lips and bought her a coffee.