Archive of Our Own

     it was completely silent in the main working of the library, so quiet you could probably hear a pin drop; yoongi felt the best when it was quiet like this, in all honesty. it wasn't hard work today, just a lot of organization and putting books back on the shelves, which the best kind of work, in yoongi's humble opinion.

     it was a tuesday, around noon, too -- it was literally the least busy day of the week, so when yoongi saw in his work schedule that he'd be working today, his introverted self could practically taste the happiness. the less people there, the less he had to awkwardly and wordlessly explain that he can't speak, so it's nothing but gain.

     yoongi looked down at the surprisingly heavy stack of books labeled 'A-D' in his arms, sighing at the sheer amount of work it would be to run around and organize them, putting them alphabetically in their places. be honest, it wasn't the worst thing in the world, but it just may be the absolute most boring. that's what he gets for working at a damn library.

     he took a few short steps over to the non-fiction section, rearranging the books in his arms as he did; he sighed inaudibly as started putting the books back on the shelves as gently as he could. his boss would probably have a cow if he ever found out that yoongi was being slightly too rough with the books, that would be a crime against the reading gods and their feelings would be hurt or some shpeel he can't remember. the people he worked with were a little questionable.

     he returned the copy of 'armies of love', one of those really badly written and cheesy romance novels that had some random dude's abs over bad photoshop effects on the cover. he sneered, thinking about the weird, sweaty middle aged lady that would check that out next.

     most of the books were right next to each other, which was nice; he was left to work the entire time, which was only about twenty minutes, until he had to run back to the main desk and pick up another stack of books. it was almost like he was the only one there it was so quiet, so concentrating came super easy as he started back on the books labeled 'E-G'.

     he was only a couple books into the stack when he heard the faint ringing of the bell on the entrance door -- it was quiet enough that it was almost like someone was trying not to make a sound. yoongi blinked slowly and set down the stack of books next to the shelf, making his way to the front desk lazily, dragging his feet on the carpet.

     he stepped behind the big oak desk, skimming the back of it and looking for the little library card scanner that was attached with the coiled cord, yet somehow always got lost. he plopped it on the top of the desk, and as he did, the person who walked in approached the desk almost silently.

     he was taller than yoongi, and his skin was a lot darker; his hair was a beautiful peach color, making him look kind of like a character out of a story book. yoongi side smiled to be polite, waving to him and gesturing to a tiny little sign that said, 'how can i help you?'

     "do i have to be super quiet by not speaking? i can do that," the boy whispered, his voice was nasally even when he was speaking quietly. "i wanted to renew my library card."

     yoongi nodded, ignoring the jab directed towards him and holding his hand out to take the card. the boy obliged, rifling through his pocket, struggling to get a grip on it for a couple seconds before yanking it out and giving it to yoongi. honestly, yoongi wanted to laugh, but instead he just took the card and pivoted himself to the side a little so that he was facing the old computer monitor.

     he laid the card flat on the desk as he typed, looking down at it every couple seconds to make sure he was spelling the name right. 'jung hoseok', was a pretty nice name, he decided. the clacking of the keyboard was weirdly loud because of how dead silent it was, but it didn't take long for yoongi to be done doing the tiny amount of work it took to renew a card. he reached underneath the desk, grabbing the sheet of stickers that had this month's new expiration date; he peeled one off and placed it over the old sticker on the card, then turned to face the boy named hoseok, handing the card back to him with a lazy smile.

     "i don't have to pay?" hoseok asked, cocking his head to the side as he took the card into his own hands.

     yoongi made a small expression of surprise, nodding his head and holding up his fingers to say '200'.

     he must have looked really stupid, because hoseok made the weirdest face; he narrowed his eyes and upturned his lip as he said "what?"

     yoongi mouthed it rather, still holding up his fingers. god, he hated when people couldn't take cues.

     hoseok looked a little less confused this time, putting one of his hands on his hips. "200 won?"

     nodding, yoongi held out his hand, waiting for hoseok to give him the money so he could get this over with. hoseok pulled his wallet out of his pocket, rifling through it and pulling out the tiny amount of money yoongi was asking. he dropped the coins into his hand, the tinkling interrupting the quiet.

     yoongi bent over and put the money in the big container under the desk, the lazy and broke replacement for the broken cash register. yoongi looked up again, meeting eyes with hoseok; he waved softly, forcing a tiny courtesy smile.

     hoseok pouted his lip a little, closing his wallet and putting it back in his pocket. "is talking against the rules here?"

     yoongi could actually feel himself wince at that, his whole body tensing up as he frowned a little. he shook his head, but couldn't really think of how else to reply.

     putting his elbows on the desk casually, hoseok leaned into yoongi, a smile on his face. "do you want to go to lunch with me?"

     wow, that was a little unexpected. yoongi's eyes widened a little as he fidgeted with his hands, not wanting to say no but not really sure if he wanted to do that, either. rather, he pointed at himself, the gestured to the rest of the room, trying to portray that he does kind of need to stay here and work.

     "when do you get off? i can wait," hoseok grinned wider, and he honestly was really cute, as much as yoongi would hate to admit it.

     yoongi held up one finger, trying to say he got off at one, which he only just now realized that was literally an hour from now.

     that made hoseok back off a little and nod, smoothing his peach hair with his hand. "i've been wanting to read something new, anyway,"

     yoongi sighed, as he readjusted the collar of his polo; hoseok took leisurely strides over to the sitting area, pulling out one of the bulky wooden chairs and grabbing the book that was always on that tabletop, cracking it open like he actually cared. yoongi felt and probably looked a little dumbfounded, not entirely sure why he would ever agree to hang out with a stranger; he hadn't done that since he was a child that knew nothing. who knows, maybe this really smiley stranger is holding a dark secret like a basement filled with crazy torture porn dvds, or maybe he hoards weird and elaborate weapons and plans to use them on some unsuspecting stranger who can't scream; or even worse, he's one of those people that actually has a genuine interest in yoongi as a person -- those kind of people are the most delusional.

     he unwillingly returned to the task at hand, slowly making his way over to the abandoned stack of books he was putting away. when he walked past hoseok, the peach haired boy winked and waved a little, making yoongi roll his eyes hard. hoseok probably couldn't see that, though.

     the work felt a lot shorter with someone around, even if he wasn't talking; yoongi felt like he needed to impress him with his mad skills at putting books back on shelves, so what would have taken twenty minutes took only ten, letting him move onto the next stack and ultimately the end of the day.

     he blew his bangs out his face as he returned 'the lord of the rings', a book that was practically falling apart and he wasn't sure why they still rent it out. yoongi could hear the faint sound of a page turning every minute or so, and when he looked over his shoulder to see hoseok actually looking really invested in the book he was reading, which was a legitimate honey romance novel, his brows furrowed and his eyes straight; he found himself feeling a little bad for thinking about all those torture porn dvds he would be hoarding at home. maybe he just had regular porn.

     he darted his eyes up to the clock, seeing that it was literally only two minutes until one, he decided that was enough for today and that someone else would pick up his slack. maybe. who knows.

     he put the last book in the pile onto the shelf, a breathy sigh pouring out of his lungs. he turned on his heel to go meet up with hoseok, but rather was met with being face to face with him, a smile painted across the other boy's face.

     "ready to go?" hoseok spoke through his smile. he was really, really close. he smelled a lot like roses.

     yoongi nodded, backing up a step as he did. hoseok turned around and started walking towards the door, yoongi following kind of closely behind him. he waved to the new volunteer worker that had just walked in and was ready to start their shift. they honestly looked dead.

     the jingling of the door was a lot louder, and the outside world was too. yoongi pouted his lip a little as he followed behind hoseok, who stopped pretty damn abruptly, spinning around to meet their eyes.

     "where do you want to go? i'm paying." his eyes were squinting from the spring sunlight. he laughed lightly, putting a hand on his hip. he never did stop smiling. "i just can't afford anything drastic... i clean dishes for a living."

     yoongi felt a little anxious at the direct question. he bit his lip a little, hoping that hoseok wouldn't ask if he resorted to his usual method, because he doubted he knew sign language... he pulled out his phone, unlocking it and opening up a blank note. he began to type, his fingers quick on the screen. he held it up for hoseok to see.

     'you wash dishes and you're taking a stranger out to eat?'

     hoseok smiled bigger, his laugh a lot more wholesome this time. "you're really taking a vow of silence, huh? and you can still roast me even then."

     yoongi narrowed his tiny eyes, a competitive looking sneer on his face.

     'i'm not silent by choice. let's go get seafood.'

     hoseok looked a little confused, but he didn't fight it. "there's that one place a block away. that okay?"

     yoongi nodded weakly, sliding his phone back into his pocket.

--

     "you know, i still don't even know your name," hoseok was wasting no time shoving fried fish into his mouth like it was his job. he somehow was able to keep all of it in his mouth when he spoke, though. "or do you have a pseud?"

     yoongi's phone was already on the table, because he knew it would be awkward as all he if he just didn't speak. he set down his chopsticks and picked it up to start typing.

     'you asked me out before you even knew my name? wow'

     hoseok giggled sarcastically as he ate a piece of steamed broccoli. "and you said yes, so it's even."

     yoongi couldn't really argue with that; he stumbled typing the words a ton before he could even come up with something coherent.

     'my name is yoongi, but you'll probably forget that in a day's time'

     "yeah right, who would forget an adorable name like that?" hoseok smirked, cocking his head to the side and blinking slowly as he stared at yoongi, who sighed heavily as he stared at his phone screen.

     'okay, that was a little too gay'

     "was it?" hoseok looked jokingly offended. "i thought it wasn't enough."

     yoongi tried not to smile, but failed horribly; there was something really comfortable about being around hoseok that he couldn't pinpoint. that, and he would talk to him like he wasn't weird. he hated to admit that he didn't regret saying yes to a complete stranger, to which his teenage self would probably sock him in the stomach for even thinking.

     he snapped out of his tiny space out session, falling into the task of typing instead.

     'so, is this a date, or did you want to bring me to your house and kill me?'

     hoseok's eyes widened a little as he read that, but then he laughed. "you really think i have some kind of evil ulterior motive?"

     'well there's no way you would ask me to lunch because you thought i was attractive'

     "to you, maybe," hoseok shoveled some rice into his mouth, the loud bustling of the restaurant feeling almost drowned out. "i saw you and the whole damn world stopped, jesus,"

     yoongi felt heat rise in his cheeks, his hands remarkably weak as they moved. he had barely touched his food.

     'your jokes aren't funny, hoseok'

     hoseok narrowed his eyes as he took a sip of water. "jokes? when did i tell a joke?"

     yoongi let himself smile sheepishly, and god he hated how he looked when he smiled; he moved his hand to cover his mouth as he did, typing out a reply with one hand. he could feel how embarrassingly warm his face was.

     'you really are all talk'

     "and you're none, so doesn't it even out?" hoseok set down his chopsticks on his practically empty plate, resting his head in his hands instead, looking at yoongi. "you haven't told me why you're so remarkably silent."

     yoongi looked down at his food, chewing his lip and realizing that he would have to be completely and utterly stupid to think that this question wouldn't come sometime. well, that's a little dramatic; he obviously didn't need to tell hoseok his whole life story, but he still hated it nonetheless. his reply was kind of long winded, although he didn't want it to be. it took hoseok a little while to read all the way.

     'i haven't really had anything to say, so i don't see a reason to speak. it's not like i could anyway, every time i try no sound comes out, so i just kind of live with being mute now. is it really that detrimental?'

     "i didn't say that it was a problem, i actually think it's very cute," hoseok looked off to the side, aimlessly focusing on something that wasn't important. "so you didn't speak out of choice, but now you can't?" hoseok dragged his gaze back up to meet yoongi's.

     yoongi nodded, feeling kind of glad that hoseok could draw a conclusion unlike most people he tried to talk to.

     "i won't pry further. i'll leave that for our next date." he fished his phone out of his pocket and looked at the time, sighing when he did. "...mostly because my lunch break is gonna be over soon."

     yoongi cracked a smile, silently laughing as he always did.

     'pretty cocky of you to assume there will be a next date'

     "true. it would be even cockier of me to ask you for your phone number, too." hoseok stood up and brushed his clothes off, his bright yellow sweater thankfully not being victim of any spills. "and you can't use the 'i don't have a phone' excuse."

     'what, so you can never text me except to wish me a happy new year?'

     hoseok made a dumbfounded expression when he read that, cocking his head to the side. "how about so i can text you until you fall in love with me?"

     yoongi's breath hitched at that, his eyes falling to his phone screen. was he actually serious? his fowardness was actually kind of unsettling.

     'if i give you my number, will you explain to me your seemingly undying affection to me, a complete stranger?'

     hoseok laughed again, his whole smile seemingly lighting up the room. "that's it? consider it a deal." his words were a little rushed, and it was obvious he wanted to get going. "number?"

     yoongi decided against typing it out on his screen and pulled the pen out of his pocket to write it on a napkin instead, as if this couldn't have gotten more cliché. he handed it to hoseok, who snatched it up with a vengeance.

     "i'll be sure to call--" he blinked quickly and stuttered trying to fix his mistake, "talk to you as soon as i can. i think i already have a cute contact name for you."

     yoongi questioned hoseok wordlessly, tipping his head to the side.

     "how's star boy sound?"

     yoongi wanted to laugh so badly, but he couldn't. rather, he conjured up some snark.

     'hope there's a good reason for that embarrassing name'

     hoseok gave yoongi finger guns as he started to walk away, his hips swinging a lot when he did. his tone was loud when he spoke, "definitely!"

--

     it was stupid of yoongi to be waiting for hoseok to text him first, because he completely forgot to get his number. it was even stupider for him to be staring at his phone, eagerly awaiting the notification that he got a text. was his life really that boring that when one thing out of the norm happens he's this whipped? scratch that, the answer is most definitely yes.

     he kind of regretted being so invested in the conversation at hand this afternoon that he hardly ate the free lunch he was bought, because now he was here, with his tiny little apartment and empty fridge, the gurgling of his stomach getting to be louder than the damn tv.

     as he sat there on his unmade bed, honestly contemplating his three-days-before payday life, he sighed heavily when he realized that it would be a fever dream to think that anyone would ever come close to seeking out any kind of friendship with him. is that really what hoseok wanted, though? his behavior was a little uncomfortably forward, so it's likely the guy just wanted a quick fuck and yoongi was feminine enough to make due.

     yoongi let his weight fall backwards onto the bed, making a tiny little internal oomph when he did; he stared at his boring white ceiling, nothing but the faint sound of reality tv filling his ears. he wasn't sure how long he was going to lay there, but he was damn sure he was not gonna leave this bed until he was done feeling sorry for himself.

     of course he fell asleep somewhere along the way, and his only memory of it was nothing but the fact that he woke up completely disoriented from sleep and the only thing he could do was assume he just died without wanting to. his eyes blinked open slower than they ever had, probably; his first instinct was to get up and eat something, but then he remembered the no food epidemic. that was a pretty big spirit breaker, if he was being honest.

     he rolled over onto his side, taking his phone into his hands and pressing the unlock button lazily. he was met with a seemingly endless slew of notifications from the number he could only assume was hoseok's; he blinked hard as he unlocked his phone and opened his messages to read them in their entirety.

7:31PM

h: hey, yoongi, it's hoseok :P and you said i would never text! what are you up to?

7:38PM

h: you're not a two second texter huh... i always like a challenge

h: unless you're like, ignoring me. if so, fuck

7:54PM

h: you're either busy or you're ignoring me, so i wanna take the time to apologize for making you uncomfortable today

h: it was obvious i took you off guard, being so forward

h: i just. i had this dream okay

h: now bare with me, i'm really superstitious

7:59PM

h: sorry. got a snack

h: okay

h: i swear i had a dream about you a couple weeks ago

h: an actual dream that felt so real i felt like i was living in it

h: and i uh... i didn't know it was about you at first, really

h: but when i saw you i had no real doubt in my mind that you were the one from my dream

h: your pale skin and catlike features were fucking imbedded into my mind for weeks

h: i saw you and i felt the biggest déjà vu

h: i didn't expect you to be mute

h: or... a boy... hahaha

8:24PM

h: i forgot to add

h: in my dream you were collecting the stars and putting them in a jar, and you gave it to me

h: the starlight illuminated you like an angel

h: hence the 'star boy' contact name

h: sorry if this is weird and i scared you away, i honestly just... really want us to at least try our friendship if you're not completely disgusted by me

h: sorry, i'll shut up now lol

     yoongi inhaled deeply as he read the last couple of messages; it felt like his heart was hurting, because he didn't want to ignore hoseok. he cursed his depressed ass for falling asleep.

10:30PM

y: oh shit i wasn't ignoring you. i fell asleep an hour before you texted me and was sleeping so hard i didn't hear the vibration i guess

y: you didn't make me that uncomfortable. it felt really foreign to be sought out by someone is all. you don't disgust me either. do i really give off such bitchy vibes?

     yoongi stared at his screen for what felt like forever waiting for hoseok to respond, his eyes still feeling droopy from his unexpected nap. his screen had only just dimmed when his phone went off with a weirdly loud vibration.

h: shit, i thought you were ignoring me... color me surprised lol. and really? i don't weird you out?

     yoongi rolled on his tummy to have a better angle to type, smiling a little out of his own control.

y: i don't think you're weird. i just feel like you could slow down a little?

h: slow down? like.....

y: pursue me a little less desperately, maybe

h: you want me to pursue you?

     yoongi paused and bit his lip at that, because he knew that whatever he says, he's gonna feel fucking weird. does he honestly want someone he barely knows to actively seek him out, romantically, having a possibility for someone to take his damn love virginity? but he couldn't... say no, because he would just sound cold. that would be nothing new, but he didn't want to make hoseok sad.

     why does he care about how hoseok would react again?

     he left hoseok on read for a lot longer than he would have wanted as he had a legitimate internal conflict trying to figure out what to say. it wasn't that dramatic, jesus--

h: there i go, being too forward again, shit, im sorry

     great! now hoseok blames himself! look what you did, asshole! you couldn't text back fast enough!

y: no, i'm sorry i am just sucking

y: i'm gonna be honest, like, yeah i wouldn't mind that

h: so you like me too?

y: as much as i can like a complete stranger. you are intriguing

h: that's a relief honestly i thought you'd think i'm a creep

y: can't be sure yet... you haven't done anything to creep me out thus far, so

h: so do you want to go on a proper date tomorrow?

h: i don't work, at least i don't think so

y: i don't either. i think i would like that

h: you think? lol

y: don't push it

h: if you give me your address tomorrow i can pick you up at noon

y: any plans in mind?

h: not really... we can just spend the day together

     god, did that make yoongi feel giddy; he honestly didn't even try to subdue it at this point, because it was obvious hoseok was making him feel something and fighting it would be useless.

y: that's fine, i hate elaborate plans anyway

h: just text me your address tomorrow morning and i'll probably be there on time

h: i want to sleep now if i have to get all dolled up for you tomorrow lol

y: get some rest

h: aye aye captain

     yoongi stared at that last message for a lot longer than he should have, his hands feeling like they were trembling for god's sake. did he seriously agree to go on a date with the peach haired boy that looked like he owned real estate on the sun?

     while it was true that he should probably just get over himself and let something happen for once, he doesn't know how much he could really take; he hadn't had a friend since grade school, let alone someone he could possibly have a... crush on. jeez, that really did sound dumb when he articulated it out like that. he just met him today, how could he be so smitten with him? well, it might have to do with the fact that his laugh sounded like music and his smile that accompanied it was just as pretty; it could be the way he swung his hips when he walked, like he knew he looked beautiful but wasn't cocky about it.

     yoongi internally groaned, kicking his legs in the air and smacking his phone into the bedsheets. he was fighting a losing battle, wasn't he?

--

     the next morning was pretty slow, considering the fact that yoongi hadn't slept much and he was anticipating way too much. he had already texted his address to hoseok, who hadn't replied -- he could only assume he was sleeping still. it was only ten, but yoongi was so antsy that he was already dressed completely, and he was a little embarrassed to admit that he couldn't figure out to wear for a good twenty minutes.

     he was sitting on the couch of his little studio apartment, the finest his wage could buy; he was curled up into a tiny ball, looking at nothing of particular interest on his phone. it wasn't the best thing to preoccupy his time with, if he was being real; he got bored within a half an hour, so he was left to just sit there as time passed, his stomach still screaming at him from last night.

     he kind of tried to look for something to eat and failed, and that just meant him looking over what was in the fridge and pantry and not wanting to settle for saltine crackers and a glass of tap water. he rolled his eyes at how much of his last paycheck he wasted on frivolous things like the coat he saw on sale and insisted to himself he needed to have even though it's spring, the unnecessary amount of smoothies he bought at the corner shop to drink while he watched dramas, and not to mention the handful of money he spent last week on a secondhand piano that looked like it had never been loved, and he actually felt his heart ache when he pressed its keys and it sounded like art. that didn't keep him from feeling guilty as hell when he toted it home and realized he didn't even have instant ramen to eat, though.

     it felt like time was passing slower than it ever had, but when he got a text from hoseok, that made it feel like it was actually progressing and not stagnating completely. it was mundane, just telling him that he was on his way and to expect him in the next couple minutes.

     he let himself sink into the couch as he tried desperately to relax and make his brain stop screaming about the fact that he had plans -- actual, real life things to do with someone, with a real person that wants to spend time with him. he hadn't had any in depth human interaction that wasn't through a screen in so long it was a little physically painful.

     it was still really difficult to become close to people, so he just kind of stopped trying altogether. ever since he was 16 and moved out into his tiny apartment with his volunteer-work-now-turned-job wage, he hadn't had any new friends or even people who willingly talk to him. sure, he gets his taste of basic interaction from helping people at work, and sometimes his coworkers hit him up about going out to eat after the library closes, but he didn't exactly want to be hanging around people in their early thirties that have children and probably talk about soap operas. all of them looked at him weird anyway.

     finding people that didn't upturn their lips in a look of disgust when yoongi tries to articulate that he's mute are actually pretty rare; besides, no one wants a friend that can't even speak, right? that's how it felt, at least.

     the sound of his doorbell was something he almost never got to hear, minus the couple times a year that he had enough money to buy something from amazon and he has to sign for it. it took him a couple seconds to even respond, not exactly sure if he heard it right; but when he heard it again, he scolded himself internally, 'oh yeah, you're expecting someone dumbass.'

     he stood up and smoothed his shirt out as he tried his best to not look anxious. when he opened the door, he was met with hoseok looking overly excited, his peach hair tousled in a light wave and his skin glowing like he was wearing makeup -- yoongi wouldn't be surprised if he was. he was wearing a camouflage jacket with a white shirt underneath; he had on light wash jeans and a chain hanging from his belt. he didn't look formal, but there he was, holding a bouquet of roses of all things in his hands.

     "hey!" hoseok shoved the flowers into yoongi's face, and after a couple seconds of being dumbfounded, he took them into his own hands reluctantly, his trembling fingers having a hard time getting a grip on them.

     yoongi smelled the flowers, and sure enough, they had that soft floral scent that real roses would have. he spooned his eyebrows, looking up to meet hoseok's eyes questioningly.

     hoseok nodded knowingly. "yeah, they're real. are you surprised?"

     yoongi shook his head, looking down at the pretty red flowers again. he held up a finger as to tell hoseok that he'd be back, and he delved a little deeper into his apartment to fetch a vase to put them in. thankfully he kept them in a low cupboard so hoseok didn't have to see him get a damn step stool; he grabbed the clear glass vase and filled it with a bunch of tap water and set it next to the window sill, plopping them in it.

     he admired it for a little while, his hands on his hips. hoseok actually got him flowers, talk about a hopeless romantic.

     "you like them? there were so many, but roses just seemed appropriate." hoseok's words were the only sound in the completely silent apartment, and yoongi kind of liked it like that.

     he turned around and nodded, smiling weakly. he so desperately wanted to sign to hoseok how much he liked them because roses were his favorite flower, but he obviously couldn't. instead he pulled his phone out of his pocket and stepped over to the door again, typing as he walked.

     'roses are my favorite, thank you'

     hoseok laughed, a sound that made yoongi smile a little, too. "it was a lucky guess, then!"

     yoongi smiled silently with him, shoving his phone into his pocket nervously. hoseok held out his hand, to which yoongi stared at for a couple seconds, then met their eyes and cocked his head to the side.

     "can we hold hands?" hoseok's expression could only be compared to a begging puppy. "if not, that's--"

     yoongi grabbed hoseok's hand, interlacing their fingers, nodding and smiling when he did. hoseok actually looked a little flustered at that, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips as he turned away from yoongi's eyes.

     "we can get going, i-if you want," hoseok muttered, obviously finding it hard to look at yoongi directly.

     yoongi nudged hoseok out of the door with his other hand firm on his chest, almost making the other boy stumble backwards into the hallway. hoseok laughed his bright laugh, their fingers still interlaced; they walked side by side down to the tiny staircase that led to the first floor, taking the stairs in stride, hoseok being the unnecessary hand rail for yoongi just in case he fell.

     holding hands with hoseok felt strangely natural, and yoongi found himself practically squeezing his hand as they walked out of the apartment building and into the run down parking lot. the sun was bright, and when they got to be on the pathway outside, hoseok swung yoongi around to be facing him as if they were dancing hand in hand, taking the shorter boy off guard and making him smile wide, the vertigo of the movement making him a little dizzy.

     "you're so pale, yoongi," hoseok took yoongi's other hand into his, and god, did it look and feel corny; hoseok looked entranced as he stared, his eyes a little squinty from the sun. "is this okay?"

     yoongi nodded, his heart honestly feeling like it was being squeezed -- was it normal for breathing to be this difficult when all someone does is hold your hand?

     "i think we should go get something to eat," hoseok said, swinging their arms in unison. he laughed lightly, "how boring of me, my first plans are food."

     yoongi let go of one of hoseok's hands to grab his phone, typing out a reply with just his thumb.

     'i am so hungry it feels like i'm dying'

     "so you won't be picky?" hoseok giggled, the soft breeze blowing his roseate hair off of his forehead. "i was thinking we should eat in the park."

     'how romantic'

     hoseok took a deep breath, letting go of yoongi's hand so he could put his hands on his hips. "well, this is our first date, isn't it?"

     yoongi felt a little saddened by the loss of contact, but started typing anyway.

     'our second one, actually'

     hoseok hummed, starting off walking again. he took a few steps and then pulled his keys out of his back pocket, yoongi following closely behind him. "you really considered that a date?" he turned his head to see yoongi's response, which was a meek nod. he snickered, a sound that would usually sound cocky, but coming out of hoseok, it sounded like sunshine. "how flattering, you must be head over heels for me,"

     yoongi gripped hoseok's shoulder, making him turn around for a second to read.

     'you're annoying, shut up'

     "i can't read tone, but i know you're being sarcastic, so ten points to me." hoseok smirked, waving yoongi to the little blue car that was his. he pressed the button on his keys, unlocking it with a small mechanic sound. yoongi hopped down from the pathway and into the parking lot, opening the passenger door and being smacked with the heavy scent of roses.

     it was really strong; it made yoongi cover his face so he wouldn't inhale too much of it. he crouched down and got into the tiny little car, hoseok following him and doing the same. once the doors were closed and hoseok was about to start the car, he made an exaggerated sniff; he scrunched his nose and looked at yoongi, and they shared a knowing look.

     "those flowers really stunk up my car, jeez," hoseok covered his face with his spare hand as he put the key in the ignition, starting the rattly little engine. the radio was barely audible because of how loud the car was even when it was idle; yoongi found himself smiling a little bit at that, because it was just him that was in the boat of being broke as shit. he leaned over the console in the middle as inconspicuously as possible, seeing that there were three pedals. hoseok knew how to drive a manual?

     he shifted into reverse, backing out as cautiously as he could. yoongi rested his head on the window, the weakness of being hungry getting to be a little overwhelming.

     hoseok was a pretty good driver, yoongi decided; he drove kind of fast, but then again, who didn't? his car was loud as hell, though. when they were stopped at a light, yoongi tapped hoseok on the shoulder, getting his attention. he pointed at the dashboard, then to his ears, and hoseok smiled knowingly.

     "my car has a cracked cylinder," hoseok said matter-of-factly, dragging his gaze back to the road. "i have been saving up to get it fixed, but..."

     yoongi sighed inaudibly, lifting his head and typing a reply as fast as he could before the light changed.

     'stop spending money on food, dumbass'

     "hey!" hoseok pouted his lip as the light cycled and he shifted into second gear, the engine basically screaming. "i'm spending money on you, too,"

     yoongi folded his arms, not being able to really reply to hoseok in that moment. he looked out the window, people-watching a little, the early day sunlight getting to be slightly too intense. he looked down at his arms, and he really was super pale; it looked like he had never gotten out of his house in his entire life. well, that wasn't far off, really. he looked over at hoseok, who was focusing on the road as much as he could -- he was chewing on his bottom lip, obviously concentrating. yoongi found himself staring a little, actually. his skin was really glowy and dark, contrasting yoongi like night and day. there was something very alluring about hoseok, and yoongi couldn't pinpoint what it was; he couldn't even figure out if it was physical or emotional. was it just a matter of him being effortlessly beautiful, or was it the shameless way that he spoke, his words always sure and never nervous?

     yoongi blinked hard, smacking his temple a little bit. there's no way he was thinking that sappy poetic shit already.

     almost as if to snap yoongi out of his thoughts, hoseok started to whistle, the sound distinct over the heavy sound of the engine and faint radio competing with it; for the most part, the tune was something completely unfamiliar, and yoongi could tell it was something hoseok did when he was focusing judging by how naturally it came. the silence between them wasn't heavy, and yoongi reveled in that, his heart starting to feel a little less tight; given, it was kind of a requirement for him to be comfortable in silence.

     "i want some fast food," hoseok glanced at yoongi as he spoke, and when he caught him staring, a small simper tugged at his lips. "is there an objection?"

     yoongi shook his head, avoiding eye contact the best he could; hoseok snapped his fingers and pointed at the burger place that was literally only half a minute down the road, making a comedic 'ta da!'. he laughed at himself, shifting down a gear as he slowed down and made a quick right turn, the bump of the parking lot making the engine sound like it was swallowing itself whole.

     after they were parked and both of them hopped out of the car, the day had very quickly grown remarkably hot; the sun was high in the clear blue sky, and there wasn't a single cloud to shield any kind of heat. yoongi breathed out heavily, the warmth already making his head hot -- given, he was wearing pretty light clothes, but it still felt like hell.

     yoongi followed hoseok closely into the tiny but aesthetically pleasing restaurant, and he found out keeping up with his pace was pretty hard because of how damn short his own legs were. the cloud of cool air that they were met with when hoseok pushed the door open was heavenly; he thanked every god in the universe for air conditioning.

     hoseok made a dramatic sigh, pretending to wipe sweat off of his forehead and then falling to fanning himself. "i think the universe is trying to cook us as its meal today instead,"

     yoongi rolled his eyes, walking past hoseok to look at the menu. he wasn't particularly fond of burgers, but he decided it would be fine considering how ungodly hungry he was. he picked out the most appealing thing on the menu and turned to hoseok, holding up three fingers.

     "a number three? what to drink?" hoseok pushed his bangs out of his face as he leaned against the handrail of the waiting line.

     yoongi groaned internally, not wanting to get his phone out of his pocket in the first place.

     'i'm fine with whatever'

     "i was thinking some milkshakes would be cool, then!" hoseok spoke through his grin, waltzing up to order.

     the entire process didn't take long, probably only about five minutes; they got their food and were out the door, hopping in the car and heading to wherever hoseok would take him next.

     the nearest park was only a couple minutes away, but the car ride was honestly starting to make yoongi nauseous, so he was more than ecstatic to be out of the car and onto solid ground as soon as possible.

     the park was pretty and blooming and so very green; there were tons of trees, all of them contenders to be the canopy they would eat under. it was pretty much empty, but there were a few kids on the swing set and a group of teenagers under the gazebo near the middle of the park. yoongi chewed his lip as hoseok took his hand in his, his heart tensing up against every strand of his free will; he darted his eyes to look and see if people were staring.

     but why should he care?

     "this looks like a good spot," hoseok had a knack for walking way too fast, leaving yoongi to basically just be dragged by him most of the time, a lot of his concentration going into focusing on trying not to drop the little cup holder cardboard that held the milkshakes. he couldn't tell him to slow down, not with both of his hands being full.

     hoseok stopped dead in his tracks, almost making yoongi bump into his back; he looked up at the big shady maple tree, setting down the bag of food underneath it, but not letting go of yoongi's hand. "this tree has so many leaves already,"

     yoongi admired that too, his eyes scanning the sheer amount of leaves that covered its branches, completely out of place for it being so early in spring. the shade was a godsend, too. he set down the cup holder next to the food and let go of hoseok's hand, letting himself fall down to the grass, his tiny legs splaying out and his weight falling back onto his hands. he blew his bangs out of his face as he watched hoseok do the same; he crossed his legs rather, his hand already digging in the bag of food, trying to fish out a burger.

     "is the heat too much here in the shade, yoongi?" hoseok implored, setting his hamburger on his knee to unwrap it. "if it gets to be, you can tell me,"

     yoongi nodded, leaning forward to grab his milkshake. he took a sip of it, the coldness hurting his teeth a little bit, but it was welcomed if it meant he was going to get some damn sugar in his bloodstream. he wasn't about to start eating, not yet anyway; he had to take it in steps nowadays so he doesn't get nauseous. it probably had something to do with the fact that he never has anything to eat, but it's whatever.

     when he eventually did start eating, it was quiet between him and hoseok. the sounds of the afternoon were really comforting, too -- he could hear birds and the soft rustling of the trees from the gentle breeze; since the park they were at was on what could be more considered as a 'side street', the sound from cars was minimal, as was the grating noise of hustle and bustle. right now, it was just them two together, under the tree and eating lunch, not having much to say to one another. it wasn't uncomfortable at all, and yoongi didn't feel like he had to put on some kind of facade for hoseok, either. he was also thankful for being able to get some kind of sustenance after being borderline starved for the past couple days.

     hoseok had finished all of his food before he spoke next, a relieved sigh escaping him. "it's such a pretty day outside," he tilted his head to look at the sky, "i haven't been able to just admire it in a long time."

     yoongi exhaled heavily, his stomach feeling a little weird, but not nauseous. he looked up too, the blueness of the sky was honestly almost a little unbelievable; he was never a big fan of the spring, he was always someone who preferred autumn, but he didn't feel too upset about in this moment.

     it was quiet again for a minute or two, so when hoseok's voice cut through the air, it took yoongi off guard. "you know, you look so pretty in the sunlight."

     yoongi practically choked, his whole frame stiffening. he held up one of his hands to hoseok's face, his form of a gestural 'shut up'. hoseok giggled, his weight falling to the side, his body splaying out as he got comfortable laying in the grass. he kept laughing his bright laugh as he looked up at yoongi, who was avoiding his eyes hard, his face a warm crimson.

     "is it okay for me to compliment you like that?" hoseok rolled onto his back, his arms laying out freely to his sides. "are you okay with this?"

     yoongi pulled his phone out of his pocket, typing out a reply before shuffling towards hoseok and sitting on his heels closer to him, flashing him his screen.

     'you don't have to keep asking you know, i'm fine'

     'and i'm getting used to being complimented'

     "oh, i'm sorry, i just don't..." hoseok crossed his legs idly, his expression more serious than it was normally. "i don't wanna mess this up."

     yoongi chuckled silently, his shoulders falling to be more relaxed.

     'don't worry, i'm not that fragile'

     hoseok closed his eyes and smiled softly. "i know, but it doesn't hurt to make sure."

     'i appreciate the sentiment'

     it was quiet between them for a little while after that, hoseok practically taking a nap in the grass, leaving yoongi to lay down next to him, too; not to close, of course -- he curled up on his back, his knees propped up and his arms crossed over his chest. this whole thing wasn't weird, it was just foreign; he didn't know what to do with himself, not when he felt this warm in someone's presence. he wasn't interested in romantic relationships... and he never had a friend, so he couldn't exactly differentiate the two feelings, leaving him to just rely on his heart, which wasn't too reliable.

     he looked over at hoseok, who looked really sleepy; his eyes were droopy as he blinked them open and then closed them again. yoongi nudged him lightly, making the other boy borderline flinch.

     "what?" hoseok smiled weakly again as he always did when he spoke.

     'tell me about yourself'

     scoffing, hoseok rolled onto his side, his eyes soft when he looked at yoongi. "you actually want to know about me?"

     'i asked, didn't i?'

     "well, i suppose you're right," hoseok bit his lip. "there's nothing extraordinary about me, really."

     yoongi pouted a little and gestured his hands to do a go on motion.

     "you already know my whole name, so that's pointless, hmm, let's see..." he hummed, "i wash dishes for a living at this really nice restaurant, but they pay me practically nothing... um, i live by myself, because my roommate bailed on me, so rent has been a little difficult since then..." he trailed off for a couple seconds, thinking of what to say. "my main hobby is dancing, i also know how to rap and situationally i can sing, but those are pretty extraneous and i don't have the money to pursue either of those actively."

     'so you make music?'

     hoseok laughed sarcastically. "i haven't made my own music in forever, but if you're asking if i can, the answer is 'kind of'. do you make your own music, then?"

     yoongi shook his head humbly.

     'i always thought rapping was cool, but, you know. i play the piano, though'

     hoseok sat up, but was still leaning back on his hands. "that's so cool! i have always wanted to learn to play an instrument like that."

     'i taught myself over the years so i could have a hobby that didn't involve speaking or interacting with other people'

     "you're self taught, too? you're so cool," hoseok grinned sincerely, the sun shining through the leaves and into his peach hair, making it look almost white.

     yoongi covered his mouth to hide his sheepish smile and thought of something to change the subject.

     'honestly, the heat is bordering on overwhelming'

     "hmm, the heat is getting to be a little much for me, too," hoseok sat up straighter, his posture still kinda horrible. "i would say we could go to my place, but it's been hell since my roommate left. there's shit everywhere."

     'you're not someone who likes to clean?'

     hoseok snickered, throwing up a hand. "yeah right, i'm always trying to keep it clean. his stuff is scattered all about and he's been coming and going to get it all, so i just don't really go home these days." he shrugged dramatically, sighing heavily. "that sounds like an overreaction, but i'm pretty fond of my alone time too, you know?"

     yoongi nodded in agreement, standing up and holding out a hand for hoseok to take.

     'it's always just me at my place, so if you're trying to get me alone, that would be your best bet'

     "well, i can't say that's really my endgame." hoseok grabbed yoongi's hand after gathering up the trash they'd accumulated, pulling himself up with a spring in his step. "i kinda just wanna chill out and be comfortable for a while."

     yoongi slumped his shoulders, trying not to notice hoseok holding his hand for a little too long.

     'i don't blame you, let's get going'

--

     "your place is so cute and small," hoseok gawked a little as he examined the tiny studio apartment that yoongi called home, his eyes wandering over every corner. "just like you!"

     yoongi honestly felt his eyes roll back inside of his head out of their own will as he basically pushed hoseok through the doorway, the other boy almost falling forward with a disgruntled 'hey!'. realistically, yoongi a first instinct was to laugh, but he wasn't about to let hoseok see that.

     before walking past him, yoongi took off his shoes at the door, then took the steps over to the couch to finally rest. the cool air of his apartment was the best thing in the world, not to mention the darkness of it, his blackout curtains making it his tiny private abode. he leaned over to the coffee table and grabbed the bobby pin on it, then pulled his bangs back and pinned them out of the way, breathing out heavily when he did.

     hoseok followed yoongi's lead, taking off his shoes and then sitting next to him, pulling his knees to his chest. "your hair looks cute pinned back."

     yoongi pulled his phone out of his pocket, wiping the screen on his shirt.

     'that's all the praise you've got for me? that i'm cute? you only like me for my body?'

     "well, if i was here complimenting you whenever you make my heart race, it would be incessant," hoseok smoothed out his hair idly, then rested his head in his hand, looking over at yoongi. "i know we just met, but... i really like you."

     'well if you didn't, this would be a little strange'

     "no, no, i mean like..." hoseok bit his thumbnail, eyes flicking down to look at his knees. "i like how it feels when we're together."

     'care to elaborate?'

     hoseok sighed, the air around him uncharacteristically heavy; he nitpicked at his sleeves, obviously stalling for time, his eyes slow blinking as he inhaled to speak. "it kind of scares me how much i like you, because we hardly know each other," he laughed nervously, "i feel like i knew you in some kind of past life."

     yoongi heard his head say 'yeah, right', but his heart felt like it did a flip in his rib cage.

     'i don't really believe in that kind of thing'

     hoseok nodded, pivoting his body so he would be facing yoongi more. "yeah, i've kind of always been into that reincarnation thing, soulmates and stuff..." he rubbed the back of his neck, biting the inside of his cheek. "it's really childish, and i know that, but--" he was cut off by yoongi shoving his phone screen in his face.

     'having a childlike innocence isn't a crime'

     "you're right, but i still wish i didn't base a lot of my interactions on that kind of stuff," he half smiled at yoongi, "i always like, ahhh-- this is so, so cheesy," he looked up and laughed lightly, mocking himself a little. "but i a-always believed in love at first sight."

     'to be honest, that kind of thing eludes me'

     "see! i know it's stupid, but..." hoseok rolled his eyes, "i knew that when i first saw you my idiot brain would do this."

     yoongi rearranged himself too, leaning back to recline against the armrest of the couch. he stretched out his tiny legs, brushing up against hoseok's ankle unintentionally.

     'are you sure it's not just that you find me attractive?'

     hoseok shook his head and folded his arms. "i don't know what it is singularly. it's a lot of things,"

     'a list would be cool'

     "so cocky," hoseok smiled big and laughed, making yoongi smile a little too, wishing he could laugh along with him. "are you sure you want to know? it won't make you feel uncomfortable?"

     yoongi clicked his tongue, giving hoseok a snarky look.

     'i would like to know what makes me so great to you so i can focus on doing whatever it is more'

     it was hoseok's turn to look flustered, one of his hands going to cover his mouth. "it's a lot, like, how you communicate for example... you're really interesting."

     yoongi narrowed his eyes, moving to lean a little towards hoseok as he typed.

     'you think sarcasm is interesting?'

     "it's your overall demeanor that i find interesting is what i mean. that, and you're funny, cute, and i like the way your smile forms when you're embarrassed..." he groaned dramatically, "i could waste all my time talking about any one thing for an hour singularly if i wanted to, but..." hoseok shut himself up by biting on his nails again, his gaze falling to look at his socks.

     'so it's safe to say that you want to date me'

     hoseok's eyes widened at that, his arms wrapping and tightening around his knees. "wh-what?"

     'you want me to be your boyfriend'

     "well, i--" hoseok's cheeks were a warm cerise, his brown eyes looking bewildered. "you said it yourself, we... barely know each other."

     yoongi shrugged a little, tilting his head in matter-of-fact agreement.

     'if you want to get to know me, i'm not against putting a label on it'

     "you're really--" hoseok made unwavering eye contact with yoongi, staring practically. "you want to date..."

     'let's try it'

     hoseok's face was flushed entirely now, all the way up to his ears; yoongi wanted to laugh at how riled up he was getting, but in all honesty, it was one of the cutest things he had ever seen. he couldn't believe himself for going that far, actually asking hoseok to be his boyfriend -- of course he liked him, whether or not it was romantic was still shrouded in mystery.

     hoseok laughed softly, his hands pressed to his cheeks, trying to quell the heat of them. "so you're... my boyfriend,"

     yoongi nodded, readjusting the pin in his hair.

     "does that mean i can--" hoseok paused, taking a deep breath. "touch you?"

     'in what sense'

     "not like that," hoseok held out a hand at yoongi. "i mean,"

     'i know what you mean and the answer is yes'

     hoseok stretched his legs out, letting them hang off of the couch like they're supposed to; he scooted over a cushion towards yoongi, letting their hips touch. he outstretched his hand to touch yoongi, but looked unsure as to where to begin.

     "this is okay?" hoseok whispered, the atmosphere a lot more unsure now.

     yoongi swallowed hard, the feeling of someone being this close to him was something he had never felt before. he could feel his breathing get heavy as he nodded, giving hoseok leeway to touch him, the other boy's arm wrapping around yoongi's slim shoulders.

     that contact alone was enough; yoongi could smell hoseok's soft floral scent mixed with a hint of musky cologne, the smells intermingling and making something completely unique. his body was warm, his hands even more so, and the feeling of being coddled was strangely comforting; it was certainly something yoongi had never dreamed of enjoying.

     yoongi let his head fall onto hoseok's shoulder, getting another chestful of his... boyfriend's scent, making it already become very familiar.

     they stayed like that for a little while, just testing the waters of being close, neither of them adverse to it; hoseok broke the silence, his unique voice hushed.

     "can you hear my heartbeat?" yoongi could hear the smile in his voice. the black haired boy moved his head to rest on hoseok's chest instead, putting his ear to it; and sure enough, he could hear the loud, distinct sound of hoseok's heartbeat against his ear. he nodded softly, smiling to himself.

     "my heart has been like that ever since i met you," hoseok's words sounded sarcastic, but yoongi knew they weren't. "that sounds so cheesy."

     yoongi shoved his phone a little too close to hoseok's face, making him look cross eyed trying to read it.

     'that's because it is'

     hoseok laughed lightly, the reverberation of it ringing in yoongi's ear. yoongi felt remarkably warm being held; he closed his eyes and reveled in it, taking it all in; the fact that he was this close to hoseok, the person he just met yesterday, that he was actually fucking dating said stranger, behind held close to his chest in his own apartment. he tried his best not to let it all get to his head, breathing out a heavy sigh.

     of course his tired self would start drifting off, which apparently hoseok didn't try to wake him up from; the last thing he remembered was hoseok saying something to him that he couldn't exactly hear, and the warmth of being held eventually lulling him to sleep.

--

     "yoongi," hoseok's voice pulled yoongi out of his slumber, his hand touching the smaller boy's face. "are you still sleeping?"

     breathing out a heavy sigh, yoongi blinked his eyes open, quickly snapping awake from the foreign sensation of being touched by someone. his eyes were wide when he looked down at hoseok -- yes, down -- he was laying on top of him, his arms tucked up around hoseok's neck, his head on his chest, following the rhythm of his breathing.

     hoseok smiled up at yoongi, his arms wrapped around the other boy's waist, holding him close. "you wouldn't think it, but you snore."

     yoongi lifted his head a little, still blinking drowsiness out of his eyes. his breath hitched when he realized the actuality of the situation; he pushed himself up to be hovering over hoseok instead.

     "i didn't want you straining your neck sleeping while sitting up," hoseok whispered, loosening his grip on yoongi's waist. "you fell asleep so quickly, you must be really tired."

     yoongi huffed, propping himself up and off of hoseok, falling back onto his heels at the end of the couch. hoseok did the same, sitting up more, his hair all messed up from laying down. yoongi nodded a little, acknowledging that yes, he was tired; exhausted even, his head still heavy with the drowsiness. he rubbed his eyes, then felt his hair, the pin that was once holding it back now completely buried in his bangs. he looked up at hoseok, who was still a little blurry through his eyes.

     yoongi held out his hand, motioning for hoseok to give him his phone. it took a couple seconds for him to register what yoongi was asking for, but snatched it up from the coffee table quickly and handed it to him when he realized.

     unlocking his phone, yoongi groaned at the 9% battery left as he opened up his notes.

     'i'm sorry'

     'i wasn't too heavy was i?'

     "you're tiny," hoseok said matter-of-factly, folding his arms across his chest. "i liked the weight of you laying on me."

     flushing a little, yoongi crossed his legs like a pretzel, his eyes darting down to look at the floor.

     "i woke you up because it's late," hoseok's voice was quiet. "i have to work early tomorrow."

     'don't let me keep you here, you need to get rest if you're going to work in the morning'

     hoseok half laughed, slowly getting up from the couch and smoothing out his shirt. "i would really like to spend more time with you, but we have all the time in the world on days that i don't work."

     yoongi stood up too to escort hoseok out, his legs weak from how hard he must have been sleeping. hoseok made his own way to the door, opening the heavy white door and then sliding his shoes on.

     yoongi wanted to just go back to bed, but it was obvious that hoseok wanted to tell him goodbye with a hug or something of the sort; it was a little awkward for yoongi to try and figure out which one he was going for, so it ended up with hoseok just giving yoongi prodding puppy eyes for a few moments. yoongi eventually gave in and was the one to pull hoseok into a hug, standing on his tippy toes to rest his head in the crook of his neck better.

     hoseok pulled yoongi towards him with hands on his hips, their torsos touching now; he breathed out a light sigh of contentment before he spoke, "i'll make sure to text you,"

     yoongi pulled away to look at hoseok instead, making sure the other boy could see him nod.

     "goodnight, yoongi," hoseok said, his head cocked to the side, anticipating more than just a hug, but wasn't angry when yoongi backed off from him, arms falling to his sides.

     hoseok turned on his heel to leave, making sure he didn't slam the door when he closed it. when he was gone, yoongi's shoulders slumped, and he could already feel himself getting hungry again. being broke was pretty fucking shitty.

     he decided to actually find pajamas this time, because he didn't want to sleep in his jeans again. he sauntered over to his dresser and opened the top drawer, picking out some pajama pants and a holey t-shirt he kept for bedtime. he mindlessly got changed, then threw the pile of black clothes he had on into the hamper lazily.

     he was probably just going to have that gourmet meal of saltines and tap water before he went to bed so he didn't wake up feeling like absolute hell. he fetched the crackers from the pantry, filled up a plastic cup with tap water, then sat down on his bed. he plugged his phone in, then reluctantly started eating.

     his shoulders fell to be more relaxed as he sat in silence, his natural state; he blinked slowly as he shoved a cracker in his mouth, his heart still feeling tingly from being touched.

     it felt so damn weird, the fact that he had so little shame in that whole interaction; never in a million years would he ever think of being so close to someone physically, let alone ask them out like that... really, what had gotten into him? did he seriously fall under hoseok's spell that easily?

     it was a given that he liked hoseok, but to date him? that was a whole other thing entirely. yoongi couldn't believe he was that quick to trust, that he let someone who probably has terrible intentions into his inner circle...

     it was just a set up for how he got so badly hurt the first time.

--

     yoongi really did want to stop fucking sleeping all the time, but at least he didn't have to do anything today; that, and sleeping is just like a free trial of dying and you couldn't feel hungry when you were asleep.

     he had been awake for a little over twenty minutes, but he had been doing nothing but looking at his phone and being snuggled in his bed, not wanting to spoil any second of his day by moving. of course he had been waiting for hoseok to text him, to which he internally chastised himself for, because jesus christ he was lonely and such a damn idiot.

     it was safe to say that he was building a mental wall; he was trying to find anything to keep his mind off of hoseok, even to the point of him reading articles about how seals nap in big piles to get warm. he wanted to write some lyrics, or maybe play his keyboard, but he had no kind of motivation for that at all; instead, he fell to aimlessly staring at the ceiling when he ran out of things to distract him.

     he wanted to just go back to sleep, but he's been doing nothing but that the past couple days. he felt like... crying, really. he was happy, maybe; but god, he was anxious. every time he thought about the actuality of the situation, his heart felt like it was snapping in two. he hadn't had a personal connection since he was a child, for good reason... he got his heart broken that way -- that's the entire reason he was mute.

     he thought back on it, being no older than nine; he never really did well in school, nor did he have any close friends. he had kids he talked to, of course, but he never had a real friend. that was until grade five, when a group of his classmates practically swallowed him whole, taking him into their big ring of friends. he can't remember how it happened, really, but he could recall being a part of it, and how close he became with all of them.

     that was until they hopped up a grade and they started to act differently towards him; it started off slowly, them slipping in well-concealed insults here and there in the form of backhanded compliments. he didn't notice at the time, but thinking back on it, it was so god damn obvious. there was no real transition after that -- yoongi could remember the day when they all huddled around him during indoor recess, looming over him almost, each of them spitting hurtful words at his face like they were pouring lighter fluid on his face and dropping a match.

     he couldn't comprehend why they were treating him like that, why the people he loved so much and trusted with his life were tearing him limb from limb; he still wonders. the only thing he did know was that they made fun of the way he talked the most. it was his lisp, something he was always so insecure about. those insults kept on going, and going, and going... until he finally decided to stop talking altogether.

     people were scared of him at first, because he would not talk for anything; not even when teachers talked to him. he couldn't even begin to count the amount of times he got in trouble for not talking when his teachers and parents would try talking to him; it was innumerable, but that never made him want to try and speak again.

     he was so remarkably silent, even down to the point of him never making sounds -- he began to get used to living that way, and everyone abandoned making fun of him because they were just so fucking intimidated and mostly confused.

     it was a given that people then would avoid him completely, and making any new friends was basically impossible. he liked it that way, though; never letting people into your inner circle was a sure fire way of never getting hurt again.

     he had forgotten that he could speak. it wasn't until he finally tried to speak on the phone to get hired for a job that he found out that he actually... couldn't speak anymore. safe to say that it was the scariest point in his life, and he frantically searched the internet for any kind of answer to the problem; he found out that not using your vocal cords for long enough can basically make them so stiff they don't work anymore, and he knew right then and there, he was fucked.

     he has gone to multiple doctors since then, given, not really out of his free will; his mom took him a lot of the time, desperately wanting answers to why her son would be silent forever. most doctors did a couple tests and gave them a shrug, leaving yoongi to do the same and his mother to break down in tears each time.

     he was able to move out on his own without speaking to anyone directly, and he got his job at the library where, ironically, you need to be quiet. ever since then he kept to himself, out of his own free will but also out of everyone else's, because it was obvious no one wanted to be friends with someone who couldn't speak. he got used to being alone, because he had enough quiet time to think about the fact that everyone was out to hurt him. it only made sense.

     god, he hated thinking about it, but it was the only thing that plagued his mind when he thought about hoseok. what did hoseok want with him? was he going to hurt him too? scratch that, of fucking course he was going to. that's why yoongi couldn't stand himself right now, so frivolously acting in impulse...

     his phone vibrated loudly in his hands.

12:10PM

h: goooood morning yoongi!!! you're not still sleeping, right? well if you are, i hope you don't have your sound on... you need to get your rest :P

     yoongi looked a little dumbfounded probably; he narrowed his eyes as he started typing.

y: shouldn't you be working

h: i am, i'm on break right now. did you just wake up?

y: i've been up for a little while

h: dang, i was waiting for you to wake up so i could text you... i would have texted you earlier if i knew you were awake

y: why bother honestly

     yoongi regretted sending that the moment he did, but he couldn't exactly take it back, so he guessed he was just going to go down this road. hoseok didn't reply right away, it took almost a whole two minutes for him to say anything back.

h: why bother texting you? are you kidding?

y: there's better things to do

h: no way!!! what else could compare?

y: what'd you do all the time before you met me? nothing?

h: pretty much lol. you're giving me something to look forward to

     ugh, it was impossible to be difficult with hoseok, wasn't it? yoongi sighed silently, trying to think of a way to push him away somehow--

h: you're my boyfriend, so talk to me if you're upset

     yoongi felt that like a shockwave through his body; right... hoseok was his boyfriend.

y: i'm not upset

h: i've known you for three days and you're as transparent as a window

y: i'm being serious, i'm fine

h: i wish you could see the sheer magnitude of the eye roll i'm giving you right now

y: why would it matter if i'm upset?

h: ummmm.... cuz i like you and want to see you feeling well?

y: yeah, ok, you barely know me

h: oh my gosh, hush! [hugs] did something bad happen??

y: i don't want to talk about it

h: i can respect that, but are you feeling sad because of it? i can help

     yoongi gritted his teeth, tightening his grip on his phone. he fucked up so bad getting himself into this; why was pushing hoseok away so hard?

y: i actually want to be alone right now

h: okay! text me when you're feeling better, if you want to

     hoseok leaving was the complete opposite of what yoongi wanted to happen, but he wanted to push him away... jesus christ, what was the point of this even? was he trying to hurt hoseok or himself? wasn't he trying to protect himself? from what? hoseok doesn't have a mean bone in his body.

     in all honesty, this wasn't about trying to protect himself; he trusted hoseok, but he... hated how he made him feel. whenever they're together yoongi feels so remarkably shameless, so uncharacteristically happy; he even asked hoseok to be his boyfriend. there was no way. there was no fucking way he liked hoseok that much. it was just a spur of the moment thing, right?

     yoongi slammed his phone down on the bedside table, sickening anxiety pooling in his stomach. he wasn't going to cry, this wasn't that dramatic, he wasn't going to cry--

     yeah, he was.

     tiny little tears started rolling down his pale cheeks as he laid there, and he probably looked so damn pathetic; wrapped up in his blanket, crying silently in his dinky apartment about probably having feelings for someone. but it was so scary, to the point of it actually hurting; he wiped his eyes frantically, trying to stop crying as soon as possible. his hands got wet pretty quickly, because the more he thought about the actuality that he was crying over this, he cried harder.

     he sniffled wetly; it was starting to get hard to breathe, so he sat up instead, his back hunching over when he did. he shuddered harshly, his whole body getting a deep-seated shiver.

     he shook his head, wiping away more and more tears, until eventually he was able to pull himself together even a minuscule amount, his head being plagued by a migraine already. he inhaled deeply, calming himself down a little by breathing slowly.

     he really needed to find something to distract himself with.

     getting out of his bed was the hardest part, but he was able to get dressed, so he felt at least mildly accomplished.

     a lot of what he tried to do ended in him feeling hopeless; he tried to watch tv, but it was all bullshit. he wanted to try sleeping more, but some of his headache was due to the fact that he was doing nothing but sleeping. he was going to fruitlessly search his kitchen for lunch, but he settled on playing the piano for a while, trying to compose something new. never in a million years would he wish to be scheduled for work, but trying to distract yourself when you have no life is practically impossible.

     the only thing he was met with when he tried to play was dissonance, his fingers fumbling every time he tried to play a note. he should have known better than to try and create something when he was anxious.

     he did end up just watching some really shitty movies on tv, his eyes dropping from sheer boredom the entire time. time seemed to be moving so slow it wasn't even real, but when he looked at the clock, it was past six. that made him feel like absolute shit, his shoulders drooping to a slump as he sat there, thinking about the fact that hoseok was probably off of work now and was bound to be wondering about him. he so desperately wanted to tell himself that he didn't fucking care, but that would be the biggest lie in the known universe.

     why was he even trying to push hoseok away like this?

     yoongi reached over to pick up his phone; he unlocked it and saw that he had no messages, to which his heart sank, but then he remembered that he was the one that wanted to be dramatic. he knew he was wasting his time, he knew that this didn't matter...

6:22PM

y: hoseok, can we talk? i feel like shit

h: i've been waiting for you to text me since i got off work!! of course we can talk

     god, yoongi was such an idiot.

y: when can i see you again?

h: you miss me already? aww

y: yes

h: that's what you wanted to talk about?

y: i would like to see you in person for it

h: i'll be busy for the next three days, leaving me with no real travel time

h: i can talk to you through text, though. if that's alright

y: yeah that's fine

h: go ahead ^^

y: i've been thinking about it all day and i'm kind of just tired of beating myself up about it

h: mhm, its good to get it out of your system! what is it?

y: this is going to be kind of long winded because i am dramatic

y: when i was young, i was able to speak

y: but i was bullied so hard by people i thought liked me because i had a prominent lisp

y: looking back at it, it was probably an overreaction

y: but it hurt me so badly, so i just stopped speaking or making sound altogether

y: people were scared of me. no one tried to befriend me anymore

y: i liked being solitary like that, because it felt good to know no one had bad intentions because no one was close enough to me to hurt me

y: i didn't speak for so long that i eventually just couldn't. my vocal cords had seized up and the effect was permanent

y: i had learned sign language after that, and registered myself as disabled

y: i don't exactly regret it. but i wish i wasn't so alone

y: so that's why when you got close to me i was skeptical, and really, i still am

y: but for the most part, after thinking about it all fucking day, i realized that i can't push you away

y: even if you do want to hurt me, i don't exactly... care

y: i know, god it's obvious, i like you so damn much

y: you make me so shameless, and that scares me

y: i thought you were playing me a fool, so i thought the only real way to tell if you were for real was to ask you to be my boyfriend

y: if i'm being honest, i expected you to laugh at me

y: because it's safe to say that i lack social skills and i'm kind of a dick

y: your personality reeks of intrigue to me

y: what do you want with a person like me, really?

y: it's obvious you're my polar opposite, warm and not cynical at all

y: it's also obvious that i'm... smitten with you, for good reason

y: i think i've droned on enough. that's what's been bothering me

     hoseok didn't reply for almost twenty minutes, leaving yoongi to feel like a fucking idiot; but when he did, he could piece together that damn, hoseok had a heart of gold.

6:56PM

h: oh my god, yoongi T T

h: i'm so sorry people hurt you like that in the past

h: some people don't recognize that they have that much power over others' emotions, especially when they are close to them

h: that's not me defending them, that's me saying that they should have cherished you more, because you really are a treasure

h: i won't hurt you like that, you know. i like you just as much as you like me

h: i'm happy you asked me to be your boyfriend. i want us to learn about one another together

h: you can trust me, but i know words will not mend your wounds

h: i don't care that you can't speak, i embrace it

h: i have pieces of me that are cynical, too

h: but my cynicism stops with you

h: we just met, and this all could constitute as us moving way too fast, but i like this

h: we can grow together, right? ^^

h: of course i don't expect a movie romance, because we're both human

h: and if we aren't compatible in the end, then we aren't compatible, and we shouldn't fear that

h: because it's the present and we should be focused on the now and how we make each other feel, okay?

h: and i should be able to see you sunday. that's when all the turmoil is going to be put on hiatus

h: i'll make sure to get you something cool to cheer you up!!

y: you're not fucking with me?

y: how are you able to be so open to this kind of thing

h: cuz i like you!

h: plus, you're my boyfriend

h: my quiet little black haired angel

y: shut up

h: you don't want me to

y: ......

h: :-)

     yoongi let a big chestful of air escape him, his shoulders slumping with relief. it was this easy, wasn't it? he wasn't used to being able to sort out his internal problems by talking to someone about them. honestly, that's a little unheard of, but if that's how hoseok functions, that's how it is. he felt a lot calmer now, and he didn't know why he was expecting not to; he really was just that isolated.

y: i feel better now

h: that's good!! [hugs]

y: i spent the whole day trying to think of ways to push you away

h: it's okay that you're scared, you know

h: i don't expect this conversation to even make you stop feeling scared

h: and it's safe to say that it's gonna be impossible to push me away now :P

h: i like you too much

y: i don't think i need to be pushing you away anyway

y: i thought that was the solution to it, but you make me feel better and the whole day without you was a little aimless

h: awww

h: i can text at work, kind of

h: so we can talk as much as possible!! and you won't have to be lonely

y: i still wish we could see each other sooner

y: what's making you so busy?

h: hehe are you jealous? ;-3

y: relatively

h: selfish, but understandable why you can't get enough of me lol

y: when's my question gonna get answered

h: i have to help my old roommate move his stuff, i am going to go visit my mom, and i still have to work the next three days

h: there's room for me to see you if you squint... but i would rather us be able to be together for a whole day

y: hm... got any plans for that

h: wouldn't you like to know

y: yes

y: that's why i asked

h: i can plan something

h: a gift and plans? how demanding...

y: i would be okay with us just being together you know

h: oh i know! i'll think of something cool though

y: hey hoseok

y: what's your favorite color

h: that was unexpected

h: it's green

y: i don't really have one but i like white a lot

h: pure

y: i'd think your favorite color is peach

h: haha cuz of my hair? it actually used to be orange but faded like this

y: it looks very pretty on you

h: oh so flattering, thanks babe

     yoongi had to set his phone down for a couple seconds at being called that, his chest feeling like it was going to fucking explode.

y: i like being called that

h: babe?

y: yeah

h: [takes notes]

h: what other cute names do you like being called

y: i don't know, no one has ever called me pet names

h: when i look at you my first instinct
is to call you angel

y: i like that too

h: hmmm...

h: sweetheart? muffin?

y: those are a little too gay

h: we're both boys. boys that are dating

y: you got me there

y: any term of affection is welcomed

h: i'll just have to find the ones that make you the most flustered in person hehe ^^

y: cruel. cruel and unusual

h: it's not getting late, but i still wanna lay down and rest cuz i gotta be up by 4 in the morning to move my stupid roommate's stuff out to the storage unit

y: why so early

h: gotta do it before i go to work at 7

y: and i thought my shift starting at 9 was hell

h: it's not so bad, all i do is wash dishes

y: what kind of dishes are there to wash at 7 in the morning

h: the ones that didn't get finished the night before

y: how many...

h: a lot

h: let me lay down my eyes are droopy

y: you can't text while laying down?

h: your sarcasm is lethal

h: i'll talk to you tomorrow?

y: yeah, after work though

y: you can always message me while i'm away, i'll read them when i wake up or get home

h: okay ^^

h: good night babe

y: you can't see but i'm rolling my eyes

h: mhm, i totally believe you

y: rest well

     yoongi felt the weight on his chest when he had to say goodnight, and had hadn't realized that he spent almost two hours talking to hoseok; that, and his phone was pretty close to dying, so he thought he should probably just check out for the night. he walked over to his bed and plugged in his phone, then he plopped it on his pillow for later. dragging his feet over to the kitchen island, he aimlessly searched his pantry for something to eat. he nabbed up a ramen cup he didn't know he had, to which he thanked the lord for. he started boiling water in his kettle and leaned up against the counter as he waited, his arms crossed over his chest.

     he caught himself smiling at nothing when he thought about seeing hoseok again on sunday, his body almost feeling tingly from excitement. he also thought about what hoseok said, that he should focus so much on whether or not it will end badly and focusing more on how he feels in the moment... he hated that hoseok had this much control over his heart, but he loved it at the same time; he couldn't believe that he could even feel this way about someone in the first place. he was past the point of feeling stupid, past the feeling of crippling anxiety when he thought about hoseok. he didn't care if he looked desperate or if they were moving too fast, because it's obvious the feeling is mutual.

     he blinked slowly, his eyes dropping a little; the kettle started screaming, and he rushed to turn off the burner to eliminate the horrible sound. he poured the water into the ramen cup, then held it down with some chopsticks that were laying around on the counter. he picked it up slowly and brought it over to the couch, setting it gently on the coffee table as he turned on the tv to watch some more garbage, but without feeling like he's dying this time.

--

     time passed pretty quickly the next three days, slowing only when he was hungry as hell; he texted hoseok every waking moment he could, both of them talking about things that didn't really matter, but it was fine because they just liked talking to one another. yoongi got paid on friday, which was the best thing in the world, considering that he had been so broke he could barely eat the whole week prior. he worked friday and saturday, to which nothing exciting happened, so he had free reign to text hoseok whenever no one was looking. a couple weird people came into the library yesterday, two grown men with leather jackets and tattoos, eyeing yoongi like he owed them something, but it turns out they were just selling girl scout cookies.

     it was sunday morning now, and he actually went to bed at a decent hour so he could be up in the morning rather than the afternoon. he made himself hot cocoa for breakfast, because he was able to buy a box of it at the corner store the day before, and since he lived alone, no one could tell him not to. he got up to listening to some music through his laptop as he drank his cocoa, the warm sweetness of it feeling very soothing on his tongue after having just woken up.

     he found himself spacing out a little as he sat there, the music kind of fading out of his audible focus. he knew he could just laze around until hoseok texted him that he was going to come over; they had talked about it last night, and they settled on him coming over around 11 and he could spend the night since neither of them worked tomorrow, surprisingly. yoongi quickly caught onto the fact that their schedules would constantly intercept each other, and that made him feel a little melancholy in all honesty, but hoseok quelled his fears by saying that they could always text and that even though it wasn't the same, it was still enough.

     it was only a quarter past 10 right now, so yoongi had time to take a shower and get dressed nice. he pulled himself up from the couch to rinse out his cup, leaving it in the sink to worry about later; he strode over to the bathroom, already tugging the collar of his shirt up and off of him and tossing it on the floor. it didn't take long to get undressed and into the shower, leaving him to wait (un)patiently for the water to heat up because damn, if his apartment building wasn't the pinnacle of finesse and luxury. the warm water made his eyes droopy as it wet his hair, and he lazily started getting into the motions that he would usually cycle through when he showered; he was thankful that his hair wasn't dyed so he could lather as much soap as he wanted into it. he reveled in the warmth for a while, procrastinating actually doing what he needed to do.

     it didn't take much time for the water to start to run cold, meaning he should probably stop wasting so much damn time in there. he blinked slowly, rinsing the conditioner out of his hair and turning off the icy water, leaving his frame to basically collapse in on itself from how much he was shivering.

     he hopped out of the shower, his eyes closed as he blindly reached for a towel from the rack above the toilet. he ruffled his hair up with it first, not really caring about if it got messed up or not; he rubbed himself down to be mostly dry, then wrapped the towel around his waist. he stepped over towards to the door, plucking up his clothes piece by piece, then opening the door to be met with the complete and utter lack of humidity of the rest of his apartment being contaminated with air of the moisture chamber that his bathroom had become.

     he exhaled heavily, his wet hair still dripping a little. he heard his phone vibrate from across the room, and he practically bounded to get it, picking it up and fumbling pretty hard.

10:48AM

h: good morning angel, i'm almost there ^^ expect me in a few

y: make sure you knock

h: are you trying to do something secret?

y: i might be naked

h: oh, i better hurry

y: .....

h: ;-)

     yoongi plopped down his phone, trying to fight a smile; him and hoseok had been flirting like that for the past few days -- it's been light, but that didn't stop yoongi from feeling so overwhelmingly flustered whenever it happened. he shook his head, drying himself like a wet dog. he slid over to his little black dresser, pulling out an outfit piece by piece, putting each garment on as he went. he didn't feel the need to fret so hard about what he was going to wear this time, but he was still adamant about looking at least a little cute. he was able to get everything on besides his socks before he heard the sound of the doorbell; it took him unnecessarily off guard, making him practically jump out of his skin.

     he pulled his sock over his heel as he hopped over to the door, taking off the sliding lock and then pulling it open for hoseok. he couldn't help but smile when he saw his boyfriend looking like he was radiating sunshine, as beautiful as ever when he pulled him in for a tight bear hug, lifting yoongi up off the ground for a couple seconds.

     when he plopped him down, hoseok held onto his shoulders, smiling wide as they met eyes. "good morning!"

     yoongi grinned back, his heart fluttering in his chest. he was so happy to see hoseok again, especially with no mental barriers.

     "did you sleep well? have breakfast?" hoseok asked, cocking his head to the side and smiling wide. "are you feeling good?"

     yoongi nodded, his arms falling to his sides. he raised a hand to hoseok and turned on his heel, sliding on the wooden floor in his socks to grab his phone. he took to typing, signaling to hoseok that he could come in.

     'how about you?'

     "i'm a little worn down from the past couple days, but i feel better now," hoseok closed the door behind him, then took off his shoes; he stepped casually over to the little loveseat and let his weight fall into it. "it feels like forever since i've seen you."

     yoongi moved to sit next to him, smiling unwillingly at how familiar this all was.

     'it's only been a few days'

     hoseok sighed dramatically, pushing his hair off of his forehead. "it's been so hectic the past couple days, so it's been dragging on..." he turned to face yoongi, his eyes borderline sparkling. "that, and it's been too long since i've seen your cute face."

     yoongi covered his smile, his thumb working on a reply.

     'shut up'

     "you seriously think i would come over and not be all over you?" hoseok laughed, a sound that yoongi missed dearly. "what did you get up to the past couple days?"

     yoongi let his shoulders slouch, shaking his head a little, wanting his hair to hurry up and dry already.

     'i watched a lot of movies and went to work'

     "awww, sounds kinda mundane," hoseok hummed, suavely stretching out his arm to wrap around yoongi's narrow shoulders. "did work go okay at least?"

     nodding, yoongi felt his insides twist at the contact, his whole body feeling warm.

     'what's up with the small talk'

     "i just wanna know how my angel spent his time," hoseok pouted his lip. "you know, without me."

     'are you afraid i spent my weekend having a spicy affair with someone else'

     laughing lightly, hoseok nodded softly. "...a little."

     'and you seriously think i'd tell you if i was?'

     "that's a good point," hoseok pulled yoongi closer to him, so that now their thighs were touching; yoongi had been thinking about this kind of contact from hoseok the whole time they were away, and he would hate to admit it, but he honestly couldn't be happier to be close to him. "i know you wouldn't do that anyway."

     letting out a tiny exhale, yoongi scooted into hoseok even more, letting his head rest on the other boy's shoulder. he looked up at hoseok, meeting their eyes for a couple seconds, making him fight the urge to smile.

     'didn't you say you had a gift for me?'

     "oh, right!" hoseok's inflection was loud and excited, like it was almost always. "i have a couple."

     yoongi cocked his head to the side as if to ask 'what?'; hoseok smiled in response, taking his arm back to himself and hopping up to his feet. "this would be easier if we're standing."

     following suit, yoongi stood up too, making them only about six inches away from each other.

     hoseok breathed in heavily, looking down at his hands; he was obviously concentrating, trying to recall something from his brain.

     "don't make fun of me if this is bad," he muttered as he met yoongi's eyes, who tipped his head questioningly.

     he sighed, holding his hands up about midway; he motioned them in a way that looked really weird by strangely familiar to yoongi, and when he realized what hoseok was doing, he felt his heart flutter. the other boy was trying to use sign language, albeit a little horribly; but as yoongi watched hoseok's motions, it was obvious that he was trying to introduce himself, even though he got the structure of it backwards.

     yoongi smiled softly, meeting hoseok's unsure eyes after a couple seconds. the peach haired boy looked nervous, his eyes unsure and fast-blinking.

     "did i do it right?" his words were a little shaky. "i didn't have much time to practice, but i bought this cool book..."

     yoongi reached to his phone on the couch, snatching it up to say something.

     'you're seriously trying to learn sign language?'

     nodding, hoseok smiled sheepishly. "i thought that maybe it would be easier for you, like, being able to sign to me instead of using your phone all the time."

     'that is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me'

     it was obvious hoseok was flushing a little, his cheeks a warm shade of pink; yoongi reached out to touch hoseok, grabbing his hands and interlacing their fingers. hoseok curled his fingers around yoongi's too, biting his lip nervously.

     "if we're going to be together for any length of time, i want to be able to communicate with you better," hoseok whispered, shuffling closer to yoongi, to the point that their torsos were touching. yoongi tried not to show that he was practically trembling at the closeness as he shoved his phone in his pocket. "and i have a second gift."

     yoongi looked at him with a prodding gaze, the nonexistent gap between them feeling like fire. hoseok didn't look as on edge, though, and the eye contact they were sharing was soft and knowing.

     it was silent only for a couple moments before hoseok moved his hand up to yoongi's jaw, his fingers softly brushing up on pale skin; yoongi knew what was going to happen, and his eyes were a little wide with anticipation. "i have been thinking about being this close to you since we met, you know..."

     yoongi bit his bottom lip, his breath hitching in his throat; his hands moved to wrap around hoseok's waist instead, hands gripping the fabric of his sweater, almost like he was trying to keep his balance.

     "is it okay if i kiss you?" hoseok's voice was soft, and it felt like yoongi's heart was going to fucking stop right then and there. "if you're not ready, that's okay, too..."

     yoongi nodded, a slight smirk painted on his lips, trying to look outwardly as chill as possible, because inwardly he was not. like, at all. hoseok's fingers were light on his skin as they moved to the back of his nape, lightly touching his damp hair and threading themselves lightly into it.

     hoseok leaned down and into yoongi, not quite meeting their lips together yet, but being so close yoongi could feel his breath. "i'm..." he didn't finish his sentence before he kissed yoongi, making the smaller boy's breathing stop altogether; if felt so foreign, but like everything in the past week had been leading up to this point at the same time. yoongi kissed back, cocking his head to the side like he always saw people do in those romance films when they kissed; hoseok let his other hand cup yoongi's jaw, his touch still so remarkably soft and gentle, making sure he wasn't too rough at all. yoongi could feel his heart beating a mile a minute, his hands fighting the urge to tremble; hoseok was the one to pull away first, catching his breath a little before he spoke again, his eyelashes invading his gaze.

     "i don't want to say anything too drastic, but..." he paused for a couple seconds, practically nuzzling their noses together. "i think i'm in love with you,"

     yoongi's eyes were soft as he stared at hoseok, hoping that he could convey the same without words. he smiled out of the side of his mouth, moving his arm up to press a finger to hoseok's lips as to shush him. it ended up just muffling him in the end anyway.

     "i hope i'm not taking things too far..." hoseok murmured, his words a little slurred. yoongi took his hand back to himself, taking a tiny step back so hoseok could see him.

     he moved his hands in a way that made hoseok cock his head in confusion, yoongi trying to sign something he seemingly didn't know, but when he slowed it down a little, the peach haired boy smiled, obviously catching clues. yoongi took his phone out of his pocket, his hands still a little shaky.

     'that's how you sign 'i love you too''

     hoseok smiled wider, almost like he was beaming so brightly it could be seen from outer space. "you're making my heart turn to mush!"

     'you were taking notes right'

     hoseok looked at his hands, trying to remember what yoongi did. "i'll make sure i study hard." he put his hands on yoongi's waist, pulling the black haired boy into him again.

     'so it's safe to say i am the boy you were having dreams about'

     "ah--" hoseok seemed put off guard, but when he realized what yoongi was referring to, he bit his lip sheepishly. "i'd say you're better than the star boy."

     yoongi covered his mouth as he laughed silently, his eyes looking down at his screen as he typed.

     'i think i believe in all of that superstitious stuff now'

     'about love at first sight and soulmates'

     hoseok gasped dramatically. "really?"

     nodding, yoongi slid his phone in his back pocket and pulled hoseok in for another hug. he nuzzled his head into his boyfriends chest, his wet hair still kind of getting to be annoying, but he couldn't look for any kind of headspace to care.

     yeah, he was hopeless and over-dramatic, and all of this was probably moving too fast...

     but god, he had never been so happy.