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Yuuri thought his chest was going to explode, his heart was going to crack open, Hell even a meteor crashing through the roof would have been acceptable.
"Victor?" Yuuri asked. His voice came out hoarse and quiet.
Victor's back was still turned to Yuuri.
"Victor, where are you going?" Yuuri asked again, his voice louder.
It was dark and Yuuri's vision was fuzzy like he didn't have his glasses, but Victor remained painfully clear.
Yuuri lay on the ground like a broken toy. Victor stood far away, tall and proud. Yuuri reached out, but his arm was dwarfed by the presence of Victor. He stretched further, but still couldn't reach Victor.
"Victor!" Yuuri nearly shouted, "Victor, look at me!"
The silence was louder than anything Victor could have spoken.
Somehow, Yuuri knew it was all his fault. Victor wasn't looking at him for something he did. Victor didn't want to be near him.
"I'm sorry," Yuuri said, his eyes burned with tears.
Victor took a step forward, leaving Yuuri unmoving on the floor.
"Wait!"
He kept walking. Yuuri clawed at the floor to try and drag himself forward, but he was frozen behind Victor.
"I'm sorry!" Yuuri choked, "I'm sorry!!!"
Tears streamed down Yuuri's face. 'I did this. I deserve this.' He thought. 'Victors going to do so much better than I could ever do. And I'm selfish enough to want to him to stay.
"VICTOR!!!" Yuuri yelled. His chest heaved as he tried to control himself. Yuuri pressed his forehead against the ground and sobbed. He gulped air like he would never have it again, like his tears would strangle him. He could hear cold, even footsteps over his own heaving. "Don't leave me. Please, don't leave me..."
The footsteps stopped, and Yuuri looked up. He blinked to focus his vision as best as he could.
But Victor was gone entirely. His golden ring laid cold and dull.
Yuuri sat on the ground, numb. Then he screamed and curled in on himself.
Yuuri woke up petrified in a tight ball. He felt hot and wanted to get out of bed and walk around, but he also got a shaking feeling something was wrong.
'What could it...'
His dream busted through the flood gates. Yuuri instantly started crying.
'No. Stop crying. You can't. Keep calm, it wasn't real.'
'But it felt real.'
Yuuri turned over on his other side like he was expecting the worst sight ever. Fear and worry melted out of his bones when he saw Victor sound asleep beside him.
Yuuri breathed a sigh of relief and reached to put on his glasses. Makkachin whined and looked up at Yuuri from his dog bed.
'Maybe now would be a good time to stretch my legs.' Yuuri thought.
Yuuri pushed the covers off and tip-toed over to Makkachin. He knelt beside the dog's bed and ran his fingers through his curly fur.
"It's okay, boy,"
Makkachin looked up at Yuuri as if to say: "Yeah, you're crazy if you think that."
"Yuuri?" Victor mumbled. "What are you doing?"
Yuuri wished Victor would just go back to sleep. He closed his eyes and bit out: "Nothing. Makkachin was just worried."
"Worried by what?" When Yuuri didn't answer, Victor spoke more seriously, "Yuuri, what's going on?"
Yuuri looked over at Victor sitting up in bed. Any traces of sleep were wiped off of his face. Yuuri's face burned and he looked down.
"Do you want me to turn a light on?" Victor asked, his voice growing soft again.
"No, I'm okay." Yuuri mumbled. He pushed himself up and got back into his and Victor's bed. Closer, he could see the concern on Victor's face through the dim light. "Just go back to sleep," Yuuri said.
"Only after you tell me what happened."
Yuuri looked down at the covers, twisting the corner between his fingers. "I had a dream. A really bad a dream."
Victor stiffened. He grabbed Yuuri's hand with a squeeze. "Do you want to talk about it?" He whispered.
Victor's ring shone even in the dark. Yuuri smiled and bit the inside of his cheek to stop from crying.
"No matter how hard I tried...I couldn't get to you, and you left me." Yuuri said not taking his eyes of Victor's fingers intertwined with his. "I was holding you back from your return to skating, so that's why you left. I know, it's stupid that I would ever think that way-"
Yuuri stopped talking when he heard Victor let out a strangled gasp. He looked up and saw tears freely falling down Victor's cheeks.
"Victor?! What is it?!" Yuuri asked, grabbing both of his fiancé's hands.
"I'm so sorry, Yuuri. I'm so sorry!"
Yuuri's eyebrows stitched together. "What?"
Victor gulped, but couldn't control his tears. "I'd never leave you! A-and I'm sorry that you don't know that; that I never told you!"
"Told me what?"
"I need you, Yuuri." Victor said. He deflated and hunched over like he was wracked with pain. "I should be telling you everyday how much you mean to me, but I don't. I'm not good enough for you!"
Yuuri threw his arms around Victor and pulled him close. Victor clutched onto him like a life line sobbing, and Yuuri could not help his own tears.
"Listen to me." Yuuri said resting his head on Victor's shaking shoulder. He rubbed his hand over Victor's bare back and spoke softly. "You are my entire world. You gave me a second chance by just being you...the impulsive, stubborn, amazing person that you add. I could never thank you enough for the hope you have me to continue skating and to love you. There should be no regrets from you."
Victor laughed in between sniffles. "Yeah, but there is. I only ever wanted to win before I met you. I was alone by myself on the ice and that was it. No one ever wanted to get close to me." Victor ran his fingers half-heartedly through Yuuri's hair. "Then you came along, and for the first time in my life I felt what life was really like. You're the one that gave me hope, Yuuri. If I ever lost you because I don't treat you the way you should be...I don't know what I'd do...what I'm trying to say is that I would never dream about leaving you, and I hope you never would dream of leaving me."
Yuuri smiled and looked up at Victor. His body was shaking less than it had been and the rise and falls of his chest were becoming even.
"I do feel that way, Victor."
Victor wrapped his arms around Yuuri and held him close. "Good," he whispered.