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It feels like a dream too good to be true. But he knows it’s true if only by the pounding of his heart. The Grand Prix Finals are over, he’s gotten silver, he’s staying in for another season at least (which could be more, if Victor has anything to say about it) with Victor as his coach still, Victor is coming back for another season, they’ve pair skated for Yuuri’s exhibition gala performance and most important is that he and Victor are engaged . It all feels almost too good to be true that all of this is happening.
Which is why he’s waiting for it all to come falling down.
He can’t help it; despite all the proof around him of all that has happened and is yet to happen, there’s still a part of him that’s waiting for reality to come crashing down. It’s irrational and he knows it, but his anxiety has always made it this way. He’s come to live with it, but right now with everything seeming so perfect, it feels like it’ll all fall away to nothingness and that the past year would have never happened.
The sound of the shower being turned off pulls him out of his thoughts and he looks over at where the bathroom is to see Victor coming out, dawned in a bathrobe. Yuuri feels his cheeks darken, despite having seen Victor naked several times since they meet all those months ago he’s still not used to it, or it’s just a natural response to this situation.
“The bathroom’s all yours when you’re ready for it Yuuri,” Victor says, running a hand through his still drying hair and Yuuri makes a sound of nonchalant from his position on the bed.
“Yuuri?” Victor asks, coming closer to their beds that they’d pushed together since they got here and he can hear the concern in Victor’s voice. He doesn’t want to worry him, say that everything’s fine , but that’s not how this is supposed to work. They’re supposed to be open with each other - when I open up to him, he meets me where I am- rings in his head, it just their unwillingness to be honest with each other, that’s what had caused their falling out a few days ago. They couldn’t keep things like this, they needed to be able to just talk.
“Is this all really happening?”
So he just lets out what’s been on his mind, probably since Victor arrived.
“What?”
“I mean, this is real, right? The last eight months haven’t been a dream or something? I really got silver, you’re coming back to competitive skating along with being my coach, us pair skating, us being together and engaged. ” It all comes out, all the worries from the past few days, months even, but it’s out there in the open and all he can hope is the Victor understands what he’s trying to say.
He feels the bed dip and turns to see Victor there, arms coming to wrap around him (his own come to wrap around in return), a small smile on his face.
“Yes, this is all happening moya lyubov. It’s all real, it’s all happened and there’s more to come.” The words are light and almost playful, but most of all reassuring. Yuuri snuggles a bit closer to Victor, the words ringing in his mind.
“I...I know that. I just...can’t help but think that this has all been a dream and that one minute it’ll all be done, as if it never happened, you know?”
Victor hums in understanding.
“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be thinking like this, but it almost feels too much, too good to be true. I just want this to be real and true, and not something that’ll slip away if given the chance.”
A hand comes to rest of his cheek, turning his head to meet Victor’s, the smile from before slightly bigger.
“Yuuri,” he begins, voice soft with all the understanding in the world. “It’s okay, I know you get like this sometimes, all anxious and worried.”
Yuuri nods slightly.
“This is not going to go away anytime soon, I can promise you that.” The other hand comes to take his, the one with his ring and soon he feels Victor plant a kiss to said ring. “Everything over the past eight months has been leading up to this. This is only the beginning of everything else. Let us not speak of endings when we’re only beginning moya lyubov.”
Yuuri smiles at that, planting a kiss on Victor’s check.
“You’re right, I’m just overthinking as usual.” Victor hums at that, squeezing Yuuri’s hand slightly. “I know this is real, that everything has happened and we have the rest of our lives to think about, on and off the ice.” He’s granted a chuckle at that, Yuuri’s not good at addressing their personal relationship that much. “Our rings are a sign of that, a sign to a hope of a future that both of us want, right?”
Victor nods.
“Yes, you’re right. No matter what’s happened, it’s happened and will stay that way. We can only hope that the rest of what we want will go as planned. You don’t regret anything that’s happened that’s lead up till now, right Yuuri?”
Yuuri thinks for a moment. Sure, there are some things that could have gone better (like their first meeting, he still can’t believe he did that , even with all the pictures), but is there anything he really regrets?
“Not really, other than telling you to go back to ice while I was going to retire. I shouldn’t have done that, I was being too selfish like you said.” Victor opens his mouth to speak, but Yuuri places a finger over his lips, silencing him. “It all worked out though, and other than that there’s nothing I regret. If anything, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant we’d end up right back here.”
Victor smiles at him, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
“I agree. Now, rest up moya lyubov. We have only the hopeful future waiting for us.”
Yuuri smiles at that, cuddling closer, the thought of that future where they’ll be together every step of the way greeting him as he closes his eyes and surrender to sleep.