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Maggie Sawyer has always wanted to be a cop.
She’s been dreaming of this since she was merely nine years old when the incident happened.
It all happened very quickly. Mason didn’t come back that day. He was a kid, just four years old and no one knew how he got out of the teacher’s sight. He didn’t come home and her family was in a state of panic.
Two weeks and he couldn’t be found anywhere. Not even the cops could locate him yet.
Her family grew more restless with each day and Maggie was sure everyone lost all hope. Not her though. She’d never give up on her baby brother.
It’s three more days later when there was a knock on the door. Her mom raced to answer it, hope etched into every inch of her face. Maggie watched silently from behind her, hope blooming in her own chest.
Detective Monroe stood there, tall and strong, her hand holding Mason’s and Mama let out a cry of relief.
The image never left Maggie’s mind. She knew right there that this was going to be her future. She wants to help people who need her. She will.
When Maggie wakes up on her sixteenth birthday and sees the words etched on her forearm, she lets out a breath of relief.
What the hell do you think you’re doing on my crime scene?
That could only mean one thing. She’s successful in her endeavour to become a cop. The thought puts a smile on her face for the rest of the day.
She does wonder who the girl is. What’s she’s like. If she got her soulmark already. She wonders if they’ll get along well. If they’ll fit together perfectly like all the stories she’s heard of. But she’s Maggie’s soulmate and she knows she’ll love the girl no matter what.
Wherever she is.
Somehow, Maggie thinks of the girl she met three years ago, the night she gets her soulmark. The memory is still vivid and she believes that that was the day she knew she liked girls for sure.
Mom was busy with work that day so Maggie had to take the responsibility of picking her brother up from the babysitter after she returns from her swimming practice.
She knocked on the door and is surprised to see a girl her age standing there. She was about to say something when Mason ran to hug her tight around her legs. She ruffled his hair and chuckled. “I missed you too, Mace.” Then she smiled at the girl. “Thanks for watching him.”
The girl’s eyes widen and Maggie’s first thought is that she has really pretty and big brown eyes. She opened her mouth as if she’s going to say something but then her mother is in front of Maggie. She quickly reached into her pocket to grab the money needed for Mason’s babysitting fee and handed it over. The mother expressed how wonderfully Mason behaved and she beamed proudly.
She grabbed Mason’s hand to walk him home but not before turning around to give the mysterious girl one last smile and wave. She’ll have to find her again another there. There’s something about the girl that draws Maggie in.
Two days later, the girl’s house is empty and Mom explained that they had to leave for a family emergency.
She pushed the image of large dark brown eyes from her mind, convinced that she would never see the girl again.
Knowing she achieves her ambition does not slow Maggie down in working her hardest to get to that point. She breezes through high school, takes a criminal justice course in college and pours herself into her work. She aces all her exams and she feels proud of herself for them. She worked for this. She deserves this.
In college, she meets a girl. Her name is Riley and she’s beautiful and inspiring but she’s not Maggie’s soulmate. Her first words to Maggie are “Can I sit here?”
Still, they pursue a relationship because their attraction to each other is mutual and who’s to say that a bunch of words on your arm has to determine your life.
They’re happy for nearly a year before Riley finds her soulmate and leaves Maggie silently crying into her too empty bed.
The police academy is a whole other level of work. She’s one of the best in her team but there’s so much competition and she has to work ten times as hard to stay on top of everyone else. The few times she performs badly, she doesn’t put herself down. She persists and her pushes herself back to the top.
She pushes romance aside, she’s not going to go looking for anyone until she’s at the exact position she wants to be in.
A few girls try to encourage her with dates but Maggie doesn’t go. She’s not interested in them.
When Maggie graduates from the police academy, her family take her out to celebrate. Her brother hugs her and tells her he’s proud of her. She’s beaming the entire day.
She actually did it.
She’s assigned to the National City Police Department. While she’s disappointed that she has to leave her family, she’s elated at the endless possibilities of such an open-minded city. Blue Springs was such a conservative town, she knew she’d never be truly happy there.
National City is huge and Maggie has trouble finding her way around most of the time. Blue Springs was tiny and she could walk through the entire town blindfolded. She feels like a fish in a tank being thrown into the ocean. She loves it. She can’t wait to fully settle in.
Getting an apartment a few minutes away from the precinct is the best luck she’s had. It grants her extra time every morning to recharge with coffee and take a long shower to fully freshen up her mind.
She instantly delves into her work and finds herself buried in paperwork at her desk most nights anyway.
Not long after she settles, the issue of aliens residing in the city comes up among many people. They don’t like the idea of living with anyone unlike them and Maggie is thoroughly repulsed at those people. She knows what it’s like to not be accepted by those around you. She grew up as an out and proud Latina lesbian in Blue Springs. It gets lonely.
She finds out her neighbor is an alien. Her name is Darla and she’s a Roltikkon who has only recently settled onto Earth. She can barely speak English and with what little she knows she tells Maggie that she learns by telepathic connections to the mind.
Hours spent with Maggie teaching her by touch blends into nights spent exploring each other’s bodies. And soon enough, Maggie is dating her alien neighbor who’s now almost perfectly fluent in English.
Darla introduces her to the bar she works at and Maggie easily gets herself acquainted with the alien scene in National City. She becomes somewhat of a representative to them.
She gets reassigned to the NCPD Science Department and she’s happy to be in it. Half of the aliens apprehended by them were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Maggie works to fix that.
She’s happy with Darla for a while. The thing about aliens is that most don’t have soulmates. She never has to worry about Darla leaving her.
But it’s not long before she realizes that Darla isn’t enough for her. She’s clearly not her soulmate and Maggie feels their connection slipping. She breaks it off as nicely as she can and tries to retain a friendship with her. She’s mostly successful in that.
Supergirl arrives in the city and Maggie is truly awed by her determination. She screws up a couple of times and Maggie cleans up after her mess. Still Supergirl persists and soon enough she’s helping so much that she and the rest of her coworkers spend most of their days doing paperwork inside.
It’s kinda relieving.
Before Maggie knows it, she’s working up through her ranks and awarded the position of a detective. The milestone calls for celebration and after calling to tell her family the news, she hits up the local lesbian bar. She hasn’t been here yet, despite being in National City for five years, and Maggie figures it’d be good to know the other queer women in the city.
That’s where she meets Emily.
Emily who’s definitely not her soulmate but also the most beautiful girl Maggie has seen in her life. And she’s seen a lot of beautiful girls.
They fall in love and Maggie convinces herself that soulmates don’t really exist. Emily is the one for her.
Maggie starts to hear rumors of the DEO, a secret government organisation that detains bad aliens in the city. She apprehends an alien one day, catching him right in the middle of kidnapping a child. She’d been led to believe that he was part of some sort of human labour trade that a group of aliens started. Usually, their prisoners ended up in the local prison but this guy was taken in by a group of black clothed people who stormed into the precinct that night, barking orders to her captain.
Despite her captain’s insistence that they were the FBI, Maggie found it hard to believe. She comes to the conclusion that the DEO really does exist and she’s just had a sneak peek of what they’re like.
She decides she’s not really a fan of them when they barge into the precinct multiple times after that, taking in the aliens she and her team apprehended. She especially hates the way they treat them. Like they’re somewhat lesser than other humans.
Maggie has her first fight with Emily two months into their relationship. It’s about Maggie spending more time on her job than Emily would like. Maggie knew this would happen eventually, that Emily wouldn’t agree with her cop hours. Maggie tries to explain but Emily shuts her off and leaves Maggie’s apartment.
Unwilling to lose her relationship, even if she knows one of them might just find their soulmate one day, Maggie takes the next day off to spend time with Emily and they tie the strings of their breaking relationship back together.
Maggie wonders how long this can last.
The president visits National City the same day a rogue alien decides to storm the streets of the city. Maggie wants to scream at the conveniently planned coincidence.
She rushes to the scene after being notified, glad that Supergirl was there to prevent too much damage.
When she arrives the FEDS are already there and she resists the urge to scoff. She doesn’t like them very much. From what she’s encountered they all think they’re above local cops and give an air of arrogance and smugness that annoys her to no end.
She observes an agent contaminating the evidence with his lunch and scoffs out loud. So much for accuracy and professionalism. Her partner looks at her with a puzzled expression and she points him to the agent. He shakes his head and frowns.
They get to work and Maggie examines the scorch marks on the carpet. She can tell it was from an alien with heat vision and she reminds herself to look up every known Kryptonian and Infernian in National City.
She hears the sound of heels clacking against tar road coming towards and sighs internally. Probably one FBI agent or another coming to chase her out of the scene. The agent calls for her attention and Maggie tries to look at her in distaste but one look at the girl’s face and she feels like she’s been punched right in the stomach.
There’s something about her that’s familiar and damn if she isn’t the most beautiful woman Maggie has seen in her life. Her stomach does an involuntary flip and-
“What the hell do you think you’re doing on my crime scene.”
She gets up and stands tall, making herself force out an aura of arrogance, hoping to make herself at least look like she’s not a dumb local cop to the agent. “Anyone ever tell you, all you FEDS sound the same? It’s like you all watch the same bad movies together a Quantico.”
The words roll off her tongue easily and it’s only after that she really registers the agent’s words to her. Her eyes widen against her own accord and she schools her features back together, eyeing the agent for any signs that she’s got Maggie’s words on her body. But her expression remains steely and guarded and Maggie shrugs away the wave of disappointment she feels for later.
“Who are you?” The agent glares at her with her defensively and Maggie resists the urge to roll her own eyes.
“Detective Maggie Sawyer. NCPD Science Division.” She reaches for her badge. “We handle all cases involving aliens and things that go bump in the night.” She shows the agent her badge and puts it back, never breaking eye contact. “Showed you mine, show me yours.”
The agent reaches for her own badge, taking it out of her back pocket and showing it to Maggie. “Alex Danvers, Secret Service.” Her voice softens, just a little bit that Maggie almost thinks she’s imagining it. “I’m sure you mean well, Detective, but this a federal crime scene.” Then her face morphs back into the arrogance Maggie is used to seeing on FEDS. “You’re contaminating my evidence.”
“I’m contaminating it? Your lackey over there is bagging charred carpet and crispy limo into the same Ziploc.” She pulls a smug look. “I thought the Secret Service would pay closer attention to detail.”
“We have technology that makes your City PD lab look like an easy bake oven.”
“And us dumb local cops would never deduce that the President’s assailant was either Kryptonian or Infernian.” She thinks she catches a hint of surprise on Agent Danvers’ face. “Both species have heat vision.”
Alex nods and the dismissive look on her face almost makes Maggie angry. But she’s having more fun with this conversation that she thought she would. “Thank you, but we’ll take it from here.”
She tries one last defense, knowing it won’t even work. “The airport’s within my jurisdiction.”
“Your jurisdiction ends where I say it does.” Alex squares up her shoulders and Maggie tries not to laugh. It’s a little cute, the way she’s trying to make herself look superior to Maggie.
Maggie decides to not push her buttons anymore and gives her one big smug smile. “See you around, Danvers.” She walks away, not allowing herself to look back. She can feel Alex staring at her back until she turns around.
Before she enters her police car, she takes a peek she can’t really resist and laughs at Alex glaring at an agent for contaminating the evidence.
It’s not until she reaches home that night that she really thinks about the words on her arm. Alex hadn’t shown even the tiniest hint of recognizing Maggie’s words to her. Her face hadn’t changed a bit and she went on like Maggie’s first words to her didn’t cause as much as an impact as her first words did on Maggie.
What the hell do you think you’re doing on my crime scene?
She traces the words on her arm, her skin there more sensitive than usual and she shivers. Maggie knows Alex is her soulmate, she knows because there's no other way to explain the magnitude of feelings she felt when Alex spoke those words to her. The only problem: Alex's soulmark clearly does not match the words that Maggie said to her after. She slumps into her sofa. What if she’s one of those people with unrequited soulmates? She’s heard of people who suffered from that fate and there’s suddenly tears pricking at her eyes. She blinks them away. If she thinks rationally, then maybe it’s not even Alex. Maybe someone else is supposed to say those words to her. In that exact order.
She knows it’s unlikely. Especially since her body warmed the second the caught sight of Alex and she felt something clicking in place. She felt as if every moment in her life led her to that scene and she sighs.
Maybe Alex didn’t realise Maggie’s words until later. She knows that can happen to people. Maybe the next time she sees Agent Danvers, she’d have realised the words that came out of Maggie’s mouth were imprinted on her arm forever.
It doesn’t seem like it has.
Maggie sees her again, in the warehouse where the escaped Kryptonian was last seen and her eyes widen.
The all black outfit. She recognizes it so well. The big ass gun she holds. She’s not FBI, she’s from the DEO.
Alex barely gives her the time of day there and Maggie shoves her disappointment away. Her silence is enough for Maggie to confirm that she really is DEO, though.
She invites Alex to the bar with her and Maggie is unnecessarily attracted to the image of Alex Danvers riding her Ducati. She pushes the thought away. Alex is clearly not interested and Maggie has a girlfriend waiting for her back home.
When Alex nearly takes out her gun in the bar, Maggie grabs her arm and the jolt that’s sent through her arm at the contact almost leaves her speechless.
Maggie panics for a moment when Darla tells her she moved on quick, afraid Alex will realise what’s going on with her. Instead Alex asks about Darla and she gets an excited gleam in her eye as she lists everything she knows about Roltikkons. Maggie decides she likes Alex even more now that she’s out of her working element. Though, if Alex is anything like her, she never really falls out of her work.
They fall into easy conversation. When she comes out to Alex, she maintains eye contact, afraid of unacceptance even after all these years. Alex doesn’t even flinch but asks more about Maggie and she nearly sags her shoulders in relief.
Maggie tries not to feel too disappointed when Alex stalks off after learning where their alien friend is hiding.
The last thing she expected was to get kidnapped by an Infernian with bright red hair and a massive distaste towards their president.
But now she’s tied up in some unknown place and it’s hot and Maggie is sweating too much. She struggles against her restraints but Scorcher arrives. Maggie almost sympathizes with her. She can partly understand her disdain towards the amnesty act. She can’t really blame her for feeling afraid.
Supergirl shows up and Maggie is truly surprised. Of all the people, she expected to come after her, Supergirl was definitely not on the list. Then she sees Alex coming towards her and of course. Of course a member of the DEO would know Supergirl and enlist her help to save Maggie. She feels herself warm at the thought of Alex caring enough about her to help.
Alex tells her to run away, effectively putting herself in harm’s way but Maggie is having none of that. Even if she’s sure Supergirl has got them covered. She grabs the closest thing she can find and hits Scorcher against the head before she even grabs her gun.
Hands down the most interesting thing she’s done all her life.
At the DEO, Alex personally takes care that Maggie gets the full treatment for her injuries and when she checks on Maggie later, she can’t help the grin that comes to life on her face.
Alex is soft and funny and a little bit shy towards her now and wow, Maggie really needs to push away her feelings because Alex is looking at her with stars in her eyes and Maggie cannot deal with this right now. Not when she still has a girlfriend she promised to come home to. So Maggie rejects Alex’s invitation to stay at the DEO and if she thinks she hears a hint of jealousy in Alex’s voice when she mentions Emily, she ignores it.
She doesn’t go back to Emily as promised that night. One look at her and her girlfriend would go nuts over Maggie’s safety and the very thought of arguing tonight makes her groan. So she calls Emily and apologizes, promising to see her for lunch tomorrow.
They bump into each other a few times but it’s strictly professional and Alex shows no signs of her being Alex’s soulmate. It saddens her but she tries her hardest not to think about. Besides, the more time she spends around Alex, the more she realises that the girl in front of is undeniably straight. Other than maybe her choice of clothing. Not that Maggie’s so-called gaydar has ever done her any good.
Maggie gets tasered right in the middle of a fight and she screams, falling onto the rough tar road feeling her back sting and nerves tingle. Alex is by her side in a second, grabbing her arm and asking if she’s okay.
She feels herself being lifted up and Alex helps her lean on the van behind them. “You got tasered.” Her eyes are calculative. “You should be fine in a couple of minutes.”
She knows this of course but she also knows that Alex is trying to distract her from the remnants of the pain she feels. She nods through gritted teeth and lets out a heavy breath.
Alex talks to her until she regains her composure but Maggie doesn’t hear what she’s saying. She just stares into the depth of Alex’s eyes, seeking the comfort from there.
When Maggie invites Alex to the masked event she got tipped to, she forces herself to not think of it as a date. For one, Alex is clearly not interested and, more importantly, Maggie is in a relationship that she sees no point in screwing up anytime soon.
Still Maggie can’t contain herself when she sees Alex in her form fitting blue dress, exposing enough skin that Maggie has to force herself to not wonder how soft it would feel under her fingertips.
Low-key flirting isn’t too harmful and it comes naturally to Maggie so she compliments Alex on her dress. A flustered and blushing Alex Danvers is endearing and she can’t help herself but to grab onto Alex’s hand, squeezing once to reassure her. Maggie knows there’s no real reason for hand-holding but Alex doesn’t let go so lets herself relish in the feeling of Alex’s soft palm fitting almost perfectly in hers. They don’t let go till they reach an empty table.
When Supergirl shows up during their visit to the alien fight club, Maggie feels her stomach drop. Sure, maybe she should feel grateful for the hero’s help but somehow, when she’s around both Alex and Supergirl, her stomach coils. The two communicate with each other so easily, everything with them so natural that Maggie actually begins to feel jealous. And she knows she has no right to feel that way but she can’t really help it.
Alex leaves with Supergirl, presumably to the DEO, and she’s left to take Roulette to the NCPD by herself. She sighs. This was going to be fun.
It barely takes an hour after her arrest, but Roulette is already being released and sometimes, Maggie really doesn’t agree with the law system. Still, seeing Alex come to visit her lifts her spirits up by tenfold, especially after she calls Maggie a great cop, and she completely forgets about Emily, almost agreeing to go for drinks with Alex.
Emily arrives and Maggie promises a next time. She hates that she’s looking forward to that more than a night with her girlfriend.
Drinks at the bar after late nights at work, turn into pool sessions in the middle of the day and Maggie realises how much she enjoys spending time with Alex. Even as she loses every pool game they play, throwing another bill at Alex in faux-anger.
She’s not even disappointed in losing her money because Alex, sweet kind soul that she is, uses it to pay for their drinks.
She ditches a few dates with Emily, knowing full well her intentions behind it and she’s not surprised when Emily shows up one night, arms crossed and eyes brimming with tears. She calls Maggie a hard-headed, insensitive sociopath, much too obsessed with her work to be with a girl. Maggie just lets the words wash over her, watching silently as Emily rants. Emily slams the door when she leaves, telling Maggie that she never wants to see her again.
Maggie lets herself cry that night. To mourn the relationship she could have had with Emily. If she’d maybe just tried a little bit harder.
She’s up and about the next morning and acts like nothing ever happened.
Alex is nothing but genuinely concerned for her well-being after she tells Alex about her break-up. She invites Maggie out, insists on spending time together to help Maggie get her mind off things and Maggie is touched and grateful for Alex. She really is. But she also knows that spending time with Alex will take too much out of her, bring about feelings that she doesn’t want to think about just yet.
And then Alex is talking about keeping each other company and suddenly Maggie believes that maybe she pegged Alex wrong. She calls Alex out on her sexuality and when Alex denies it, Maggie crosses a line. “You’d be surprised how many gay women I’ve heard that from.”
She regrets her words as soon as they come out. The look Alex gives her is something she’s seen so many times. It’s the same look she saw in the mirror when she realised that maybe her feelings for Laveena from fifth grade were not all friendly. It’s the look of everything in the world collapsing around as you realise that oh maybe I’m not even straight. It’s the look of the confusion and disbelief that comes after and Maggie kicks herself because she’s practically dragged Alex out of a closet she didn’t even know she was in.
She heads back to work with angry thoughts in her mind and later finds herself sitting alone in the bar with three shots lined up in front of her.
She’d already downed two when Alex appears and her first question is to ask Maggie how she feels, not a trace of anger in her voice. Instead, she looks a little nervous. Maggie apologizes for earlier and Alex nods.
She sits in front of Maggie, a thoughtful look on her face. Then she’s talking about always being perfect and Maggie thinks that yes, Alex Danvers is definitely the textbook definition of perfection.
When Alex talks about dating, she realises where this conversation is heading. Alex’s eyes are wide and wet as she speaks and she can’t get the proper words out of her mouth. Maggie understands and gently prompts her a few times but Alex never comes across to saying the actual words. Maggie just listens because she knows that’s what Alex needs right now. She listens and she appreciates and she thinks that Alex Danvers is truly an amazing soul.
In light of their conversation, Maggie has a fleeting thought about Alex not accepting that Maggie is her soulmate earlier because of her gender but she shakes the thought away. It’s highly unlikely and she knows what happens when you date baby gays. It’s happened to her one too many times in college. They get bored after a while, realising there’s a whole unexplored ocean of better women out there for them. They make the leap into the water and leave Maggie stranded on the island to pick up the broken pieces of her heart. She doesn’t need that in her life right now.
She doesn’t see Alex for nearly a week and if it wasn’t for the occasional text messages, not strictly about work, Maggie would have been worried. She turns up that morning, Maggie sees her enter with her sister Kara, as she’s arranging the pool table. She waits for Alex, trying her hardest not to stare and when Alex finally finds her, she lets out a large dimpled smile. “Danvers! You’re alive.”
Alex smiles back at her and Maggie feels the words on her arm tingle. A recent development that’s been there since the night Alex came out to her. It tingles every single time Maggie so much as thinks about the other woman and she hates it. Hates the constant reminder that she’s probably one of those people with unrequited soulmates.
They talk and Maggie tells Alex about coming out to her parents. She sugarcoats it a little, reserving the part where her father couldn’t look her in the eye for two months for a later time. Then she adds, “I told my little brother Mason first. He took it the best. Hugged me and told me he loved me.”
Alex’s eyes soften. “You didn’t tell me you had a brother.”
“Well it never really came up. I don’t get to see him often anymore, aside from weekly skype calls.” Maggie explains. She misses her brother, she really does and she realises that she’s going to have to find the time to visit him one of these days.
Alex quiets for a moment, thinking hard. Then she swallows. “Maybe it’s just a phase. You know, maybe it isn’t real.”
Her heart aches for Alex. She knows that feeling, trying to convince yourself that your feelings aren’t valid, that you’ll get over it soon. She tells Alex the words she wished someone could have said to her when she came out. “No. It’s real. You’re real and you deserve to have a real, full, happy life.” She pauses. “Kay? Tell you family. This is the biggest thing to ever happen to you and you shouldn’t have to do it alone.”
Alex’s eyes are wide and there’s so much gratefulness in them. “I have you.”
Maggie’s arm starts to tingle again, a stronger tingle. She resists the urge to rub at her arm. She smiles, assuring Alex that she does have her back and promises her a drink when she comes out.
That night, she goes to the bar again, hoping that maybe, if her lucky stars are with her tonight, Alex would be there. Turns out, they are, because Alex is there just a half hour after Maggie arrives.
Alex tells her she came out to Kara and Maggie’s eyes widen. She hadn’t expected Alex to do it so quickly and she’s truly shocked. But more importantly, she’s so proud of Alex. So damn proud and so happy for Alex that before she knows it, she has her arms around Alex for a hug.
The hug is brief but damn, does she feel so warm and safe in Alex’s embrace. Her arm tingles again and it’s far stronger than ever before. She pulls away to get their drinks but then Alex’s hand is on her arm, right at her soulmark and the tingles morph into flares and it’s not something she can ignore.
And then Alex’s lips are on hers and she’s kissing back against her will and the soft burn of her soulmark feels so real and unmistakeable. Alex’s hands are on her face, her touch soft and light and Maggie pushes away, letting out a soft wow. She can’t do this now. It’s too early for Alex.
Her stomach sinks at the confusion on Alex’s face, quickly turning to realisation and then pure agony and humiliation. She tries to let her down easy, tries to make it clear that now is not the time. “Well, we’re at really different places. And everything is changing for you and everything’s gonna feel really heightened and shiny. And, um, you should experience that for yourself. Not just to be with me. I shouldn’t get involved with someone fresh off the boat. Those relationships never really work out.” The pain in Alex’s eyes is clear and she looks ready to run away but Maggie doesn’t let her yet. She needs Alex to know that she’ll always be there for her no matter what happens. “I’m here for you. But as a friend.”
Alex lies. Tells her that they’re cool and she walks away from Maggie, leaving tears brimming in both their eyes and leaving Maggie with the realisation that she’s done the thing she’s never wanted to do. Hurt Alex.
The pleasant burn on her arm turns into a sharp stinging pain as Maggie watches Alex retreat from the bar.
She doesn’t really speak to Alex for days after that and there’s a gaping hole in her heart and a constant sting on her arm. She hates herself for hurting Alex.
She just can’t do it. She can’t be with someone freshly out of the closet. Especially when that someone is an unrequited soulmate who’s most certainly going to meet her actual soulmate one day. And for all she knows, Alex might have already met her.
It still doesn’t stop her from hurting, especially when they do see each other on the occasional case. Their conversations then are short and clipped, Alex barely looking her in the eye and a tinge of sadness on her face that makes Maggie’s arm burn every time Alex spots her.
She hates it. Hates the pain she’s caused Alex. Hates that she’s lost the only true friend she’s made in all the years she’s been in National City. Hates that she and Alex will probably never be friends again.
Another unpleasant and recent development in her life has been the sudden presence of Supergirl every time she sees Alex. Most of the time they’re at the same crime scene and as soon as Maggie approaches Alex, Supergirl stalks to them, arms on her hips in her classic superhero pose and a glare pointed directly towards Maggie. A glare that makes her think that this must be what it feels like to lock eyes with Supergirl just before she blasts you in the face with her heat vision.
Alex immediately relaxes upon Supergirl’s arrivals and Maggie is perplexed. Clearly, their relationship with each other was much deeper than Maggie first expected. For a while, she thinks that the soft touches they save for each other and the communicating they seem to be able to do using their eyes is because they’re dating. She laughs to herself at the thought, maybe the words on Alex’s arm are the first words National City’s superhero said to her. She wonders what that would be.
If Alex were dating Supergirl, though, Maggie doesn’t think of anything she could possibly do to win Alex over one day. A day that’s probably never going to happen because she’s not going to date an unrequited soulmate. She’ll just die alone in an empty home, wondering what it might be like to have spent her entire life with Alex Danvers.
Ultimately, it doesn’t take long for her to realise that the bond Alex has with Supergirl is more platonic than romantic. It’s the type of bond you’d have from spending years and years in the company of that person.
Which draws Maggie to the conclusion that Alex is aware of who Supergirl is under that suit and superhero persona she gives off. She reminds herself to look more into it another day.
She’s about to text Alex, telling her that she’d like to have some help in looking for the Guardian when Alex shows up at the NCPD parking lot.
A week ago, Alex would have been more than happy to tell her who the Guardian is but now she refuses, giving her the classified information excuse, the mistrust clear in her voice and the stinging on her arm returns.
“No, Maggie, we’re not friends.” Alex drops the words that make her arm sting so bad and tears spring to her eyes. She’s glad she manages to stop them from flowing out.
She asks for an explanation and then tries to explain that she does like Alex but her words go unheard. Alex says her part and Maggie lets her release all her feelings, listening intently and carefully. She calls Maggie amazing and her arm stops it’s stinging for a second but it’s back when she watches Alex walk away from her for what feels like the thousandth time that week.
She lays off the Guardian because even if Alex is unsure about Maggie right now, Maggie still trusts Alex with her life.
The entire car ride to the Guardian’s location is filled with silence and the constant itch on her arm that Maggie aches to rub.
It only stops when Alex thanks her for letting Guardian free.
She doesn’t sleep well that night. She aches for Alex’s friendship and she wants Alex to at least try a friendship with her again. She realises that she really needs Alex in her life and if she can only have her as a friend, well, then it’s worth trying.
She knocks on Alex’s door the next evening but there’s no one inside. Which means Alex is probably at Kara’s, so she heads there, the words she wants to say hanging on the tip of her tongue.
She can tell Alex is surprised to see her so she gives her a small smile.
“Hey.” Alex closes the door and she’s thankful for the privacy it gives them. “What are you doing here?”
She asks for a few minutes of Alex’s time and promises to just disappear if Alex never wants to see her again and even if the very thought makes her heart ache and her arm sting, she knows she’ll do it. Just to make Alex comfortable. She says the words she’s rehearsed so many times in her mind today, her voice undeniably shaky and uneven. “I don’t meet many people that I care about and I care about you.” She grins. “A lot. You’ve become really important to me, and I hope that one day you and I can be friends.” She struggles to get her words out properly, not certain of what Alex’s reaction to them might be. The last thing she’d want to do is further ruin the chances of rekindling their friendship. “Because I don’t want to imagine my life without you in it.”
Alex looks away and Maggie’s certain that she’s screwed up. That maybe she should have kept that last line to herself. She watches Alex walk to the door and her shoulders sag in defeat. She’s never going to-
“Pool.” Alex says and Maggie feels the hope blossoming in her chest. “Tomorrow night.”
She smiles, more relieved than she’s ever felt in her entire life. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
Alex returns into the apartment and Maggie leaves with a smile on her face and her arm tingling pleasantly.
Alex is a bit reluctant at first when she meets Maggie for pool that night. But she’s here and she’s trying and that is good enough for Maggie.
Much to her relief, they naturally fall back into the easy conversations they used to have in short time. Maggie cracks jokes, the ones she knows Alex likes and her arm tingles every time Alex lets out a bubble of laughter.
If she tried hard enough, she could almost pretend that the kiss never happened.
Before she knows it, a few days have passed and they’re back at where they were two weeks ago. Easy conversations, random text messages about the most random topics and her personal favourite, working together on cases and being each other’s partners.
Maggie thinks she could forget about her feelings for Alex if it were not for the constant tingling in her arm every time she so much as thinks about her.
Alex brings it up first and Maggie groans inwardly. She’d been hoping to avoid this entire topic. “What do you think of soulmates?”
Maggie feeds her a lie because she wants Alex to never ever know about the words on her arm. “I just don’t think they really have to define anything? I mean you’ll love who you love, regardless of the words on your arm.”
Alex nods and Maggie thinks that she may even look a little sad. “It’s just… I think I’ve already met her.”
Maggie eyes widen and she feels sick to her stomach. “You did? Well then, why are you not chasing after your girl, Danvers?”
“I think I met her a long time ago, before I got my mark?” Alex says. “I don’t know, the words she said to me, it stuck.”
“Are you still in touch with her?” She’s amazed at how cool she seems to act, as if her heart is not aching inside. She doesn’t want to lose Alex or any chances they might have.
“I don’t think she even remembers me.” Alex admits and her voice is sad enough that Maggie wants to hug her.
Instead she gives a fake smile, hoping it’s not obvious just how much she’s affected by this conversation. “I’m sure you’ll find her again.”
Alex gives her a sad smile.
The first time they fight, Maggie is down right pissed at Alex. It’s only been a week since they started hanging out again but Maggie pays no mind to that fact. She is mad.
Mad because M’gann is her friend and she’s locked up in the DEO for absolutely no purpose and Alex refuses to see reason.
“I can’t do anything, Maggie.” Alex argues back. “She lied to J’onn and it’s his call now.”
“She saved him.” She ignores the blaring pain on her arm, reminding her of who exactly she’s fighting with. “If it wasn’t for her, he’d be dead.”
Alex’s shoulders sag and she sighs. She looks genuinely sorry but Maggie knows Alex won’t go against her boss’s decision. “I’m sorry, Maggie, but I can’t let her go.”
Maggie leaves, her arm on fire and her brain screaming at her to go back to Alex.
They don’t talk for days. Alex sends her messages after messages, apologizing and asking her if she’d like to go out but Maggie ignores them and the sting on her arm.
M’gann is one of the few people in this city that she actually considers her friend and now she’s gone too. Gone forever if J’onn has anything to say about it.
This is exactly why she never trusted the DEO. They lock up aliens, immediately assuming everyone of them is bad, never giving them a chance. Never pausing to think that maybe they have lives like the rest of the humans on Earth.
Rationally, she knows that M’gann being locked up has nothing to do with the fact that she’s alien but rather because she was pretending to be a Green Martian to the last son of Mars. She’d instilled a sense of hope and companionship to J’onn only to throw it all away and reveal her actual self. Buried beneath her anger, she does feel a little bit sorry for J’onn but she’s not going to think about that anytime soon.
News of the alien bar attack reaches her one morning from Darla and her entire world crashes around her. She knew them, so many of them. She knew their family, their friends, their stories. They were who sent went to when she was feeling down. They came to her when they felt under the weather.
She looks at the list of names of the dead aliens from the police report she got her hands on. Her captain refused to allow her a place on the investigation. She knew it was probably for the better but she tried to fight her way in anyway.
It didn’t work.
That’s why she’s sitting quietly on her couch, staring blankly at the list in front of her.
Twenty-five aliens and she knew ten of them. She remembers their names, their faces, their personalities and her chest aches for them, for the families that a few of them had here.
There’s a tentative knock on the door and Maggie knows it’s Alex. She’d know even if it wasn’t for the slight itch on her arm. She opens the door to let Alex in and she’s scooped into a bone crushing hug immediately.
She buries her face in Alex’s shoulder, embracing her warmth and affection. “I’m so sorry, Maggie, I heard what happened at the bar.” Alex pulls her closer. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” Now that you’re here. “I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you. It wasn’t your fault.”
Alex rubs her back. “Hey, it’s alright. She’s your friend, I understand. And I’ll talk to J’onn about it tomorrow.”
“Thank you.” Alex kisses her forehead and suddenly, everything is so overwhelming. The tears she’s been holding since she got Darla’s call this morning pour out. Alex squeezes her tight and whispers soothing words into her ears.
She cries. She cries for her friends at the bar and their families. She cries for M’gann who’s locked away, probably even unaware of what happened. She cries for herself because she’s in the arms of the woman who’s supposed to be her soulmate and she’ll never get to be with her. She cries and she cries and Alex doesn’t let her go.
Eventually she comes to and she pulls herself away from Alex, apologizing for the tears she left on her shirt.
“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s fine.” Alex waves her off. Her voice softens. “Do you need anything?”
Maggie pauses, hesitating for a second, afraid of crossing a line. She gives in. “Stay?”
Alex nods in agreement. “Of course. Now, how about I order some food and we watch crappy movies till we fall asleep?”
A ghost of a smile lingers on Maggie’s face.
Two days later, she gets a call from Alex, instructing her to bring her team to L-Corp. She knows immediately that it’s CADMUS trying to fulfil their plan of killing every single alien in National City. She vowed to herself to end them once and for all as soon as Alex told her who was behind the incident at the bar.
In her raging anger, she forgets to put on her full gear so she’s not at all surprised when the real Hank Henshaw shoots her with his laser eye and she’s sent to the ground cringing in pain. She would laugh at the irony of it all if it weren’t for the pain in her shoulder. A lesbian being shot when she’s conveniently not wearing proper armor. Hah. It’s like she’s living a walking trope.
Supergirl is by her side in a second, checking if she’s okay but Maggie shoos her away. Ending CADMUS is more important than her silly arm.
She blacks out soon enough.
When she comes to there’s wind blowing into her face and she’s being held by strong arms in a red suit. Her mind isn’t working fully and her shoulder stings from the pain. In an attempt at humour, she says, “At least take a girl out for drinks first.”
Supergirl blinks at her with blue eyes that are strikingly familiar then shakes her head. “Shut up.”
They land at the DEO soon enough and Maggie passes out again.
This time, when she wakes up, she sees Alex working on her shoulder. The pain has reduced to a slight numb feeling so she must have been given drugs to soothe her. She also realises that she’s not wearing a shirt and she blinks at Alex. “You didn’t take a peek at me, did you?”
Alex blushes and stutters out a, “N-no, of co-course not.”
“I wouldn’t blame you, Danvers. I have great boobs.” Her words only cause Alex to blush harder.
“Shut up. I need to sew your stitches properly.”
Maggie laughs but she complies, content to just watch Alex work in silence.
Alex finally finishes with her shoulder and she puts her tools away. “Thank you.”
“No. Thank you.”
Maggie looks at her, puzzled. “For what?”
“Well, I told my mom.” Alex tells her and Maggie is truly surprised at how fast Alex seems to have gotten around to accepting her sexuality.
“You did, how did she take it?”
“Better than me.” Maggie laughs at her, endeared. “You know, when you, um, when you first suggested that I was gay, I denied it ” Maggie raises her eyebrows, so damn proud of Alex for finally being able to say the words. “And then I thought it was just about you, I mean how would I not like you.” Her arm tingles at Alex’s words and she’d almost forgot about the words there. There’s a fleeting thought of Alex taking a peek at her arm but she dismisses it, knowing Alex would never do something like that. Alex continues, “But you know, deep down I still wasn’t comfortable that that was my new normal. But it is. My new normal. And I’m happy that it is. Cause I, uh, I don’t know, I finally, I get me. And now I realise that it wasn’t about you but it’s about me living my life.” Alex does one of those cute things with her mouth. “So, thank you.”
“Anytime.” Maggie smiles at her, full of support. “And Alex? I’m proud of you.”
Alex offers to send her home later but Maggie rejects it, admitting that she needs to think for a bit. She’s glad that Supergirl brought her Triumph for her so she doesn’t have to worry about taking a cab.
She gets on her bike and halfway to her house she takes a turn back. Because you know what? Alex is right. Alex didn’t come out for her just for her, she came out for herself. Besides, she could have died today and the last thing she’d want is to lose her life before she even takes a chance to be with Alex. And if Alex finds her soulmate eventually, then so what? At least Maggie would have had the experience of being with hers.
So she stops by at Alex’s favourite pizza joint, buys some beer and is knocking at Alex’s door less than an hour later, her arm tingling with her excitement.
Alex apologizes for her pyjamas but Maggie just laughs, admitting that they’re cute on her.
“You uh, you got a case or something? Oh god, I could really use a good old fashioned murder right now.”
Maggie starts to feel the anxiety blooming in her stomach and she plays with her hands, pacing around the area as she speaks. “No, I- I didn’t come here for work. I just really needed to see you and talk to you.”
Alex takes two beers out and looks at her with concern. “Is everything okay?”
She doesn’t really comprehend the words. “Um, well here’s the thing. I almost died.”
“I would not have let that happen.” Alex insists and Maggie truly thinks she’s the most amazing soul she’s ever met.
“Yeah, I know that. But, um, it got me thinking that I.. I was so stupid. I thought that and I guess I was kinda right, you came out for me and that scared me. But um, life is too short. And we should be who we are and we should kiss the girls that we wanna kiss. And I really just…” She can’t believe she’s actually doing this. “I.. I wanna kiss you.”
“I just..” She whispers and then she’s grabbing Alex’s face and kissing her. And god does it feel just so amazing and so right. The words on her arm pulse pleasantly and she feels just so wonderful in this moment. She truly cannot believe how long it took her to do this. Why did it take her so long?
Alex is soft and warm against her and she takes it all in before eventually pulling away.
“So you’re saying you like me?” Alex has the goofiest grin on her face and Maggie thinks she’s already halfway in love with her. “Cause that’s what I got.”
Maggie laughs. “Of course. You’re not going to go crazy on me, are you?”
“Probably.” Alex is holding her hands to herself, as if she cannot believe that the moment is truly real. Alex reaches out to push her hair away from her face and then pulls her in for another kiss that Maggie completely melts into.
They pull apart later and Alex lets out a relieved laugh. “That was amazing.” Then her face turns more serious and Maggie tilts her head. “I know I shouldn’t be asking, Maggie, but I need to see your arm.”
Maggie recoils so fast and a flash of hurt settles on Alex’s face. “I don’t think that’s the best idea, Danvers.”
“Please.” Alex looks so sad and she has this huge sad brown eyes that Maggie’s staring right into. “I need to see it.”
Maggie gives in against her better judgement because clearly this girl is going to be the death of her. She offers her left arm, takes a deep breath and pulls up the sleeve of her leather jacket.
The words on her arm are small, she knows this, but in this moment it feels like they’re huge letters that can be read from miles away.
Alex gasps as she sees those words but Maggie’s eyes remain fixed on the ground. She feels Alex’s finger running across her arm and the words tingle, sending shivers down her spine. She can’t believe this is actually happening. “You didn’t tell me.”
Maggie sighs and lets out a bitter laugh, finally making eye contact. “Well, it’s not like it would have mattered. You already know who your soulmate is and it’s obviously not me.”
Alex blinks, but she kisses the words on her arm and Maggie gasps at the feeling. It’s better than anything she’s ever felt before. “You remember the girl I told you about? My soulmate?”
She looks away again, not willing to speak more of Alex’s soulmate. “Yeah, you met her a long time ago.”
Soft fingers touch her cheek and pushes her gently so she’s looking at Alex again. “Maggie, that girl was you.” Maggie’s eyes widen because Alex must be playing tricks with her. No way that’s true. “Your brother Mason, I used to babysit him. And you came in one day to pick him up and said-”
Maggie finishes her sentence. “Thanks for watching him.” Alex nods. “You didn’t say anything back and I went looking for you the next week but Mom said you moved away.”
“We, uh, learned what happened to Kara’s family that day. So we rushed back to look after her and we never had the chance to return.” Alex explains. “When I got my mark later, the first thing I thought about was you but then I pushed it aside because well, I thought I was straight. Then you mentioned Mason the other day and it just… it clicked.”
She offers her hand to Maggie, pulling up her own sleeve. The words are written so clearly against her skin. Thanks for watching him. Maggie traces the word with her finger and the gasp Alex lets out fills her ears. She can’t believe she didn’t recognize her immediately. The large, dark brown eyes are suddenly so familiar.
“I found you, though.” Maggie says and when they kiss again, neither of them know who started it. They just know that it’s the most full they’ve ever felt in their entire life.