Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

0. First meeting

Kravitz fell onto the balcony like a raven landing on a wire. Cities were the best places to work, cacophonous lights making conveniently excusing shadows. People like his target liked to stay in hotels who didn't have a lot going for them but wanted to, who would never allow the guest's view to be obstructed from shimmering protection spells. People like his target are usually too airheaded to put up one themselves. Thanking the way lights made shadows in unobtrusive nooks and crannies, Kravitz catwalked past the spilling moonlight into threshold of the bedroom, looking around to see

"Oh, you're a handsome one."

A bored set of eyes looking right back at him.

His target was lounged over the arm of the sofa, easy languidity in his form, dressed for bed in an ostentatious sheer pink robe. He was posed towards the balcony, and Kravitz scrambled to understand how he knew Kravitz was coming. Nobody sees the Raven Queen's shadows until the moment of their death.

"So what's gonna happen here buddy?" The target unfolded himself from the sofa and stretched, letting sheer pink fall over a t-shirt emblazoned with some unreadable slogan in black. Kravitz tracked the soft glow of a runestone cracking to life in a pink glow between the target's fingers as he lifted them above his head. "Because I just washed my hair and if it's all the same, I'd rather not sweat it all up again."

Kravitz's instincts catalogued details quickly-- Hair, nose, eyes were all the same as the bounty pictures. The bounty was meant to be on a vacant TV cooking show host. But in person, under this barest possible light, there was an unexpected edge of cleverness. Normal people don't react to an accidental confrontation with some unknown man sneaking into your room in the dead of night as if an acquaintance waltzed into their salon.

"That look in your eyes says you're unfortunately not here for pleasure. What is this, kidnapping? Revenge? Rival show? Shakedown? I don't think I owe anyone money right now..." He caught an unpleasant thought and his face wrinkled up. "Ugh, don't tell me it's an assassination."

"It was supposed to--" Kravitz slipped, body shocked into stillness while trying to get his bearings. "Listen, I honestly was hoping I could do this without... incident. Less messy to pass away quietly in your sleep. Less painful as well."

The target looked at him, a weird look on his face. "Say again?"

Maybe this was the vapid target. "What part did you not understand? I thought I made my point clear. You said it yourself, I'm not here for pleasure."

The target looked downright delighted as he spoke of murder. "Just what is that accent? I was 'opin--" He struggled not to laugh as he did a poor rendition of Kravitz's voice, "Ahm no' 'ere fo' pleazsha, gobnah."

Likely to mock under inappropriate circumstances. This was almost definitely his target. Kravitz manifested his cloak, letting his skin give way to its skeletal components as he drew himself higher and gripped his scythe, feeling the clack of bone against the staff. "You do realize I'm here to kill you, right?"

"Woi I reckon'd gobnah, wat wid' the pokey an' all!" He started laughing in earnest, still gripping the stone in a ready position. "Hoo man, how are you even with that voice?"

People were usually more intimidated by the inky skeleton transformation. It was becoming difficult to discern what was intelligence, what was candor, and what was foolishness in their short time together. "Okay, If I drop the accent will you take this seriously?"

The target just smiled bigger. "I don't take a lot of things seriously, my dude. But I'll tell ya what." He bloomed his fingers to show the fully charged stone in his palm, taking them off the trigger, and leaned in like he had a secret. "You go on your way and just leave me a lil' goodnight kiss, and I won't light this place up and alert every guard outside my room and policeman in the city that a tall, dark and strikingly handsome assassin tried to take advantage of my sleeping form."

Kravitz tried his best not to digest the last half of the target's words. "I still have ample opportunity at this very second to kill you." Plenty of people have tried to talk their way out of his work before, tried to joke, to beg, to seduce. Smooth words won't allow an escape. Kravitz was too much of a professional.

"Well, you haven't yet. So..." He stood to full height and tossed the stone in the air. "How about that kiss Bubeleh?" He looked at Kravitz like an end table he was considering. "After you put your skin back on. You can just leave if you're gonna stay a skelly boy."

Kravitz weighed his options. The entire ideal of his employment was termination with discretion.

No, that was a lie. The point of his job was to follow the raven queen's snap when she pointed a bounty for Kravitz to fulfill. For all she cared, targets could have an accident at the player piano factory with a self-written rag played on their teeth. So long as no one saw the Raven's Talons, anything was possible.

And there's the rub. A target knowing his intentions, his face, there's no way to take that back. There's a sleep spell twitching under his fingers, but he's underestimated this target once. It's unlikely he'd dismiss the experience as a dream, and he has his own twitchy finger on a runestone with god-knows-what spell breathing through it.

Kravitz pulled his skin back on, putting his scythe away. "I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting resistance tonight."

"I wasn't expecting a handsome fella to waltz into my room on Valentine's eve." His eyes looked behind Kravitz, probably at the clock. "Well, Valentines now."

"Indeed."

"What's your name?" There wasn't malice, or even hurt feelings at having this potentially deadly interruption to his night. Just curiosity with the edge of flirtation.

"Call me Kravitz."

"Kravitz. I'm Taako. Although," he wrapped a lock of hair around his finger, "you probably knew that already."

"I did."

"From the killing thing or my TV show?"

"The killing, in fact."

"Hm." He sat back down on the sofa, elongating. "I shouldn't expect you to stick around then, should I?"

That was an odd thing to ask of an assassin. He wasn't looking at Kravitz, taking the time to inspect his fingernails with a deliberate casual air.

"No." Kravitz snapped his fingers, releasing the Sleep he had stored before. Taako went completely limp on the sofa, one hand left dangling just above the carpet. "I suppose you shouldn't."

Kravitz pulled out his scythe, now confident that the tearing of the temporal rift wouldn't wake his target. Before he cut into the planar fabric, he couldn't help but take another look at Taako. There was... Something to him. Something that Kravitz would have to solve and learn inside and out before he came to catch his soul again. The tshirt rode up on his belly underneath the robe, abdomen expanding and deflating in even breaths. His freshly-washed hair spilled over the arm of the sofa, subtly reflecting the creeping moonlight.

Kravitz opened the rift and resolved not to get close again until he knew exactly how to take him down.

{0.5.

Taako woke up Valentine's morning with pounding on his door and the taste of magic in his mouth, his charged Disguise Self runestone dropped from his hand.

}

1. Through a Screen

"Well, you have to get pink salt for this, or the whole effect will just be ruined!"

Gathering intelligence is an important and expected step in the process.

"Let me tell you folks, the best pink salt in Faerun," Taako pulled a handful of pure white grain, threw it in the air and snapped his fingers, "is right here." The camera tracked the now chunky pink salt as it dropped onto the dish. "Now, if you can't transmute your own, store bought is fine!" The audience laughed, charmed.

Taako winked to the audience behind the camera and Kravitz's eye twitched.

"Now, when I was testing this recipe, Sazed, you know my assistant, he asked me, why  all the pink?" Taako looked at the audience like he had a secret. "Truth be told..." He snapped his fingers and his signature Sizzle Up! Apron and braid turned magenta. "It just looks great on me, my dudes!" There was delighted laughter and applause from the audience.

Kravitz made another note as the commercial break cut in with Taako waving with his now pink nails at the camera.

Burns Spell Slots on show days joined about 20 pages of notes and potential leads on how to best approach killing Taako. Kravitz will not let them meet again without claiming Taako's soul at the end of it. He queued up the next video, a somewhat recent appearance with him as a guest on The Mastication.

"Hello everyone and welcome to this Valentine's episode of The Mastication! Today we'll be--" Kravitz skipped past the host's inane dialogue to Taako's entrance and subsequent inanities.

"So Taako, while we're preparing this romantic dinner, I thought I'd ask a question that's been on everyone's mind." There were some scattered "woo"s from the audience.

Taako faked a gasp, wiping off a knife. "You had ulterior motives for asking me here?" The audience laughed and he sent them a quick smile. He was almost better at playing them than the usual host had been. "I'm hurt."

Can play other audiences

"You make it sound catty like that! We were just wondering-- No one has seen you with a Boo. What do you look for in a guy?"

Taako smiled as he chopped some nondescript vegetable. "I like dark hair, actually."

Likes dark

"Ooo!" The host said, grinding peppercorns in similair prep work. "Details are rare, coming from you. Nice work on those onions, by the way, if you're at home remember the way he's cutting those! Cutting across really brings out the flavor."

"--The flavor, yeah. Thanks. And I like to keep up up a little mystery, I feel like it's part of my charm. Don't you guys think so?"

Thinks highly of Understands Overestimates own appeal

"Anything else for your adoring fans while you dump those in this here bowl?"

He popped them in with a mage hand coordinated to the set and his outfit. "Well, striking handsomeness is a plus."

"Only striking? What about regular handsome?" The host pouted. "Am I not good enough for you Taako?"

"I do have standards Klargg."

Not into Klargg, might not like him at all?

"Alright, handsomeness, dark hair-- What about personality? Even you aren't that superficial."

"Well, this is a..." He looked to the side, unusually bashful before putting his show face back on. "Recent development, but nothing's sexier than a good work ethic. Handsome man in a suit, can't go wrong." He snapped and moved his mage hand to rearrange something in the bowl. "On that note, sharp dressers. We've just gotta look good together."

"Taako, I can't help but feel like this is talking about someone... Specific." The audience started to rumble. "I think we all feel that way!"

Taako didn't look fazed at all, but his handiwork became more automatic. "Now Klargg honey," snap "Fantasy Vegas was a one-time thing!"

Kravitz tried to write something, but something felt wrong in his hands. He looked down. For some reason, the pen he was using had snapped around the middle. He really needed to order sturdier materials.

{1.5.

MEMO: Kravtiz, your dedication is always appreciated, but please stop getting tabloids delivered to the Ethereal Office.

     --RQ

}

2. Through a Window

"--So then, Julia said that it actually kept looking at her even after she stopped petting it. Oh my gosh it sounded soooo fluffy-- Do you wanna see a picture? You need to see a picture." Magnus pulled his phone out, not waiting on a response and almost knocking the fern into the front window. As per usual. It was a picture of his fiance Julia with her face smooshed close to a noble-looking husky, obviously crouched low to get on the dog's level. "Aren't they perfect?" He sighed dreamily. He turned the phone back around and morosely took a sip on his now lukewarm drink. "Oh man, I wish I got to pet it."

"You're finances, doesn't that come with the territory?"

Magnus laughed, almost choking on his drink. "That's nasty broseph!"

"It is important though." Intoned Merle, climbing up his seat with a coffee ("Black." "But you hate--" "Black please."). "That's part of what killed my first marriage. Frequent sexual congress can--"

"NO." Taako put his hands over his ears. "I do not want to hear about this. I really, truly, emphatically do not want to hear about this and if you keep talking I will absolutely take it upon myself to kick you out of this overhyped mediocre shop old man."

"Oh, I get it." Merle opened his hand and too many creamer packets fell out, making hollow donks on the table. He opened one, dumped it in his drink and immediately grabbed another. "Merle gets here late, which is fine, except it obviously isn't."

"No, we just don't wanna hear about how you fucked." Says Magnus, bad taste obviously in his mouth. He took another sip of his old tea without changing his face. "Gross."

Merle busted open more cream packets. "Shut up Merle! You have nothing useful to say! I get it!"

"At least you know it." Taako mumbled, taking a pull of his drink. The only reason he was in this stupid shop was a "suggestion" from the studio management, and a suggestion from Lucretia was... Actually more avoidable for Taako than most people, but on some things it was easier to play along. A few sponsored appearances could be bargained for an exciting recipe or two, or begging off an appearance elsewhere. Sitting next to a big window and looking pretty wasn't the worst part of his job.

Magnus laughed. "Dude, you've been nasty all morning, what gives? This place isn't that bad."

"Oh, I'm not the cause of all of this vinegar?"

"Vinegar? Who even said that ever?"

"Wow, this coffee is overhyped. It's so bitter--" Merle took a theatrical sip of his overcreamed coffee looking Magnus right in the eyes. "Oh wait, that's just you."

Magnus and Merle kept bickering about something smallish and Taako decided to zone out. He had honestly been trying to be less bitter lately, at least in public, but lately Magnus gushing about his fiance never failed to bring it out of him. It had even been a couple months since his dream about the handsome stranger. Sometimes it seemed that Spring really brought out the lovey-doveyness of couples more than holidays specifically created for romance. It was kind of annoying being hung up on a dream.

More than that, he had been feeling off before he came into whatever this place was called. His skin was on edge, like someone was watching him every other day. He had checked for bugs and arcana multiple times around the studio and his house, but came up empty. Part of the reason they did this stupid show in one place was to have a less dangerous experience than the road.

Whatever, he still had enough instincts from the road to keep himself safe. He tried to check surreptitiously around the shop to find whoever was doing this to him.

The barista was probably out. They had stumbled out a request for a picture earlier when they made his sub-par latte and were the kind of person too dazzled by celebrity, however minor, to look directly at it. There was a wannabe fashionista right by the door, and a real one in the corner, both too involved with themselves to pay him any mind. (Not that Taako didn't sympathize, of course. An aloof exterior can be a must with some ensembles.) A couple of schoolkids tittered together on a table further in, trying and failing little cantrips. There was a more surly group of teens in the corner, but they were poor candidates as well. His audience was mostly middle-aged stay at homes, so a high schooler being too nervous to speak with him isn't a huge possibility or threat.

Even if one of the people in the shop was looking at him, none of them were hot or powerful enough to give him goosebumps. No one like that (besides himself) would be caught dead in a generic place like this anyway, and he didn't recognize any of them as following him. He decided to check back into the conversation.

"But see, Julia is allergic to roses, so I always have to find some other kinda flower. I don't want her like, to sneeze at my crotch."

Taako looked out the window instead of listening more. With a lack of anything else, he decided to check outside for the source of this watchy feeling and

Oh.

He must have rolled a twenty.

Out by the well manicured flowering city trees, he could see a handsome assassin-shaped form looking down and taking some kind of note on a tablet. Taako didn't have the presence of mind to look away before the assassin looked him right back in the eyes and startled, fine body going deliberately loose under pink petals.

Well.

Taako took a slow sip of his drink, keeping eye contact. When Kravitz didn't make any moves he winked, and turned back to Magnus and Merle. He wished vaguely for better surroundings than a flash in the pan or better company than rough-looking older guys, but at least his hair looked nice. Weather Kravitz was an assassin or a dream, there was no reason not to look nice for him.

{2.5.

"Dude, Taako, why do you keep winking at the bushes?"

"Always someone watching Mag. Always someone watching."

"... Merle, he's smiling did you like, do something?"

"No, I just think he's insane."

"Standing right here guys!"

"He's not mad, Oh my god he is insane!"

}

3. Through The Catwalk

"The Phantom" of Sizzle Up! STRIKES!

By Darwen Gabendren

It was looking to be a normal episode of FNBC's Sizzle Up! this week. Taako sparkling up the stage as usual, magic flying and the audience with bellies empty but for excitement.

This week, he was bringing out the ultimate slow cook to celebrate his anniversary-- Of the show, that is. Taako is a famously fabulous and famously single TV personality who has been a force of nature in promoting and performing his "magical cooking" show, Sizzle Up!, now on its fifth season. Fans were excited to see and taste an update to his famous 30-Clove Chicken, which was his first televised bake.

As he transmuted the finishing touches, however, something straight from a stageplay happened: Three spotlights fell in quick succession, debris narrowly missing both him and the audience.

"I was shocked!" Said Ren Ganiel, an elf who won a front row seat at the taping. "I'm a huge longtime fan, and I've never seen so much as a hair out of place, much less something this big."

No, there wasn't a rough-looking cable that wasn't replaced due to negligence or an intoxicated spotlight operator. The lights undergo a mandated inspection the day before performances for wear-and-tear or safety hazards, and all three passing with flying colors. The magic-infused steel was replaced just ten years ago and has an average life of 250 years, so there was no high risk or cause for concern.

When the cables were inspected after the event, the militia concluded that they were cut cleanly through with some sort of two-handed blade, with no traceable magical assistance.

So some yet unknown person cut through the wires to ruin the anniversary show, out of some sort of malice, grudge or jealousy, right? It might not be that simple.

To get to the bottom of this story, we have to see the more complicated events leading up to it. Mysterious notes, wilting flowers, ice not melting in the heat wave, a thick fog that entered the studio smelling of fruit so sweet as to be rotten, all reported in the studio the week leading up to the accident. But, as is often the case, there was little time or inclination to investigate.

Working on a cooking show with magic as major gimmick leaves a lot of room for doubt on weather magical instances are malicious or self-made. The crew's unofficial but beloved mascot, a cow shrunken down to the size of a shoe that spews frost or fire from its butt whenever it moves, was due to a failed experiment.

When you're taping a popular cooking show, especially an anniversary special when the series is ready to really blow up, the show must go on regardless of cheesy copper-novel tropes. Taako himself even insisted that security didn't need to be buffed up, as his "guardian angel" would be looking out for him. It's unclear whether he knew that an attack was coming, especially in light of these cryptic tweets, all made in the week leading up to the taping:

If there was no prior knowledge, it's quite a coincidence. Then again, as skeptics pointed out, "cryptic" is a specialty of his feed:

So the spotlight falls, with no one we know of having knowledge of the event, but nobody gets hurt. The militia have no leads, but there haven't been any odd events since the anniversary show. Not a closed case, but easily dismissed, right?

But that's not everything.

Although the spotlights were deliberately cut, they were also deliberately moved. The lighting designer and studio chaplain Merle Highchurch gave a statement: "These spotlights were definitely moved. All through the taping, the lighting was perfect, but around the end of the show it was... Off. My main dude Delarese bolts those heavy things in place, they don't just move on their own."

Taako's flair for the dramatic is reflected in his chosen venue: It is a repurposed theater, so many of the lights have been hung in place on a system of heavy-duty theatrical electrics.

So it seems that the Phantom wanted to cause a commotion, but not any harm. Did they have an vendetta against lighting instruments? Did they want to interrupt the taping? Did they just want attention from TV's Taako himself? Here's where we find another layer in the story.

When all of the chaos was died down and the audience was evacuated from the theater, security found Taako's manager Sazed tied to a pipe in the food storage room. Longtime Sizzle Up! Viewers might recognize him from early episodes as Taako's assistant, who would try catchphrases of his own.

Seemingly hit with the grogginess that only accompanies a Sleep spell, next to him was a unmarked brown bottle he didn't want anyone to touch. The militia took the bottle in for an arcana check, but came up with no spells from the bottle.

What they did find, after a forensics check, was arsenic.

The militia went test crazy, testing everything in the studio for the drug. They found traces of poison on Taako's cooking equipment, and a lot of it in the dish he was about to share with his audience.

Suspicion was initially on Taako, as he had not eaten any of the dish unlike his usual routine, but they quickly dropped him as a person of interest. Under the influence of a truth spell, Sazed spilled that he poisoned the anniversary meal as revenge for Taako's unwillingness to share the spotlight and was alone in his plot.

But still, people testify that Taako acted strangely even before the attack hit.

"I was ready to tie him to a chair." Killian, a member of the security team. "It's unlike him to get nervous before a show, even a big one. But he just kept looking out of windows, looking up, looking for... Something."

"He was staring up where the lights were, mouth catching flies, but other than that he wasn't harmed at all." Admitted Highchurch. "Idiot probably shoulda ran, but at least he didn't get hurt."

Maybe Taako caught a glimpse at some Phantom or his Angel up in the catwalks. He has so far neglected to comment on the issue to any publication, but that doesn't mean we've come out of this event empty-handed. We've been given one last sweet cryptic tweet from TV's Taako:

{3.5.
UPDATE: TV's Taako on His Near Miss: "I'd Fuck the Phantom"
}

Chapter Text

4. Through a Stone
Telltale graceless feet shuffled through Kravitz's door. One of his quartz golems moved though, carrying whatever Taako left behind from his latest hotel room stay. There hasn't been anything useful yet, a perfumed scarf or a single sock was the usual hoard, but something useful could be gleaned from baubles. Probably. This mound of paperwork was making it a little hard to focus.

"Another personal effect?" He asked without looking up. he Golem didn't move. "If it's not important, just leave it on the desk." He heard the Golem shuffle closer and sighed. "I don't know why you keep picking up sequins, I swear there's nothing-" He finally looked up and gasped.

The quartz Golem held out a stone of farspeech dangling from a thin silver chain. The Golem only knew where he found it. The Golem didn't understand who this rock was from. The Golem certainly didn't understand what this rock meant, didn't understand how this rock made him a failure of a bounty hunter whose career was compromised by a shitty cooking show wizard who he now knows smells like violets.

Fuck.

Kravitz took the stone wordlessly, dismissing the golem with a wave. It wasn't Taako's usual rock, printed in tabloids as a sleek rose gold number with a stylized TVT etched into the back. This stone, while not the cheapest model on the market, was unmistakably a burner rock for sale at your local Fantasy Costco. The most damning thing was a sticky note with messy scrawl on the back.

For K

Fuck.

Kravitz shut his eyes and tried to hold onto logic. He hasn't given up the ghost quite yet. As far as anyone knew, he was still a cool, stoic bounty hunter who never crafted personal connections with his victims. Nothing would change that if the stone was never used. He doesn't have Taako's frequency after all.

Well, he doesn't have it memorized. He found it, of course he found it, it's almost impossible not to find contact information in the mountains of research a target goes through, but

"Yoohoo~"

Kravitz fumbled the stone out of shock. The stone had unceremoniously crackled to life, a T illuminated on the smooth face.

"Are you there this time? If you actually never pick this up I am going to be mad. I had to talk to Garfield the Deals Warlock for this thing, do you know him? He's a pain in the ass, let me tell ya. How's this for a deal? You stop gabbing or I sock you in the mouth. Garfield, not you. Haven't heard you talk in a while." You. Did he mean-- "I mean, since the first time we met. It would be nice to... Hear you again." He did mean

Kravitz heard a sigh when he didn't respond. "You're never actually going to find this, are you. I spent a hundred gold coins on a basic-ass ugly stone and stuffed it in the stupid sofa cushion for--Listen, this is gonna be my last try. Ultimatum time so Taako looks like less of a desperate moron. If you don't pick up right now I'm gonna g--"

"I found your stone."

Silence.

Fuck.

"I-- You know I still technically have a bounty on you, right?" He began slowly, evenly as he could. Speaking rationally would slow his heart down a little at take the violets from beneath his nose. "That I'm still under contract to kill you? That if I don't have your soul in my hands by the end of this year I could be in deep shit?" He pinched the bridge of his nose, some strange wet anger washing over him. "Do I have to spell it out to you that keeping in touch with your assassin is a bad idea? Leaving a stone of farspeech with your personal frequency is asking someone to track you down. You're almost-- insultingly easy to kill. I have had, by my count, twenty-seven distinct opportunities to take your life."

"You've had--"

"Twenty-seven distinct opportunities. That is abysmal, even my easiest targets had about ten. If I ever fancied it, I could have waltzed in and finished my contract without a thought. I have no idea how you survived the first night I met you." He remembered how Taako was laid out on the couch, and wondered if the cleverness he saw was imagined. "What I can only assume at this point was dumb luck can't save you forever, you know." He was on autopilot, spitting out everything he had in his mental file, every detail and thought he collected about Taako that had no outlet until now. All of this had been sitting low in his chest for months, desperately avoiding labels. "How on earth would you defend yourself when you're burning spell slots to do your hair? To turn milk to orange juice? Do you even know offensive spells?"

"I've--"

"Any random person who decides they don't like your quiche, your stupid braid, the brand of spatula you use that week could track you down and poison you. It's already almost happened! I had to drop spotlights to make sure you didn't eat the stupid thing! Hey, if they wanted to try again, they could start with those godawful fizzy drinks you drink constantly! Where does all of it go, you drink at least seven a day!"

"Kr--"

"You don't even keep track of them! You always leave your lipstick all over the can so any random person walking by can tell which one is yours. Again, twenty-seven opportunities, without bribing your staff to slip you something which would be child's play because you are so out of tune with your surroundings. Your show security is so lax someone could waltz in with a broadsword sticking out of their front pocket and take out you and half the audience without a thought. Do you know how I know? I was able to walk straight through the back door and caught a look at me and shrugged. They just shrugged, Taako, didn't ask for a badge or identification and they were whittling a duck with a dagger. Where do you even find these people? Do you know how easy it would be to kill you? I feel like if I just sat on my hands this whole mess would be over with quicker. God, do you know how hard it is to not kill you at this point?"

The other line was silent. Kravitz scoffed. "I thought not. How--"

"You remembered me." Taako said softly through the phone. "You-- You actually. You were there. You're real." Fuck. "Uh. Hi. Kravitz."

Fuck.

Kravitz's face and neck burned immediately, rare heat in his cold body. So much for professionalism. Directly contacting a bounty and describing how they could prevent their death when you're meant to have a direct interest in killing him is so wrongheaded as to be laughable.

Then again, if he were to dig down into a place he tried to never touch (his feelings), he hasn't had a real interest in killing Taako since he was threatened with a kiss. This-- Obsession he's had has been more than a... professional curiosity.

"Krav?"

He ended the connection. No need to make this situation worse. He got all of that out of his system, and so long as he never touched the stone again he could be on his merry way.

The stone cracked to life again.

{4.5.

Call Time: 0:06

}

{4.7.

Call Time: 0:10

}

{4.9.

Call Time: 0:56

}

{4.99 

Call Time: 6:48

}

{4.999

Call Time: 16:55

}

{4.99999

Call Time: 36:58

}

5. Through His Friends
Kravitz sat in the shade of dead branches, staring at empty azalea bushes that shielded him from the rest of the park. Taako kept very irregular hours, even for Kravitz, and when he talked he talked for hours. While he had been conditioned to work on little sleep, it could really drain a guy.

Not that Kravitz minded. Taako talking for hours meant Taako's voice with him as he did paperwork, fed his dog, watered his plants. Taako's jabbing meant that they both had a landline to someone who... Cared about them, however ill-defined or unspoken that care may be. He could tell that in some way he made Taako happier when he talked to him, which made his chest expand with new air. He shifted on the stone bench that hadn't been warmed by his almost nonexistent body heat and wondered if he shouldn't head somewhere inside. It was getting quite cold again, and the shade was not helping the situation.

"Excuse me sir, may I sit with you?"

A small boy carrying a messenger bag and a smart hat on his head stood, eyes bright behind thick spectacles. His smile was a little nervous, but unfailingly polite.

Kravitz wasn't a fool. He nodded and made a little room for the boy. He jumped into the seat nearest to Kravitz, affecting a surprisingly casual air as he adjusted his scarf. He took a little time to carefully arrange himself and pull something from his messenger bag before turning to Kravitz and giving him his full attention.

"Are Taako's guardian angel, sir?"

"I was meant to be the opposite."

If he did his research correctly (and he did), this was the kid detective that hung around Taako and the gang. While inexperienced, he had a fearsome reputation to the truths he sought to find. More than that, Angus McDonald was able to get close to Taako like no one else so far. That alone made Kravitz respect him.

"Oh, I know that. I also know that you started the termination of the contract a month or so ago, so you have no professional reason to keep tabs on Taako." He pulled out a small graphpaper notebook. "Additionally, I have a very strong suspicion that you were the mysterious Phantom who saved Taako during his season finale."

"Now where'd you get that idea?"

"Taako likes to talk sir, and he's not always quiet. It was easy enough to pick up enough information about you to conduct an investigation." Angus McDonald looked amused and knowing. "I also know that's not a real accent."

"I KNEW IT!" Came a voice from the bushes.

"Merle!" Hissed another. "He's gonna find out where we're hiding!"

"Oh so you chose now to not rush in? Cockney dude hasn't been cockney this whole time!" A small figure popped out of the bushes, a bright bloom stuck in his ponytail. Kravitz recognized the figure as Merle, lighting designer and, somewhat bizarrely, chaplain of Taako's show. He walked with purpose towards Kravitz and Angus, leaves clearing a path for him. He clamored up on the bench in a similair fashion to Angus moments prior, albeit sans some dignity. "What else have you been lying about! What the hell kinda contract was it? If you've just been messing with Taako this whole time I swear I'll--"

"There's no need for all that." Kravitz said, trying to put on his most professional face. "That's-- The last thing I'd want to do is harm Taako." He turned to Angus, who didn't seem fazed by their sudden appearance. "Did they come with you?"

"In a sense sir. They followed me here, and they're much bigger than me so I was worried they'd use physical force if I didn't allow them to follow. Or pointed out that they were following." He continued to talk over a sputtering Merle. "Can you tell me how you met Taako? I haven't quite figured that out yet."

"I am actually curious about that too." Said Mangus, trying with less grace to extract himself from the foliage. A good amount of twigs were dislodged in the attempt. "Like, I think I maybe saw you at the studio once I think but never ever before that? And Taako like, denies that you exist." He paused, one foot in the bush, and looked Kravitz steadily in the eyes. "Do you exist?"

"I... To my knowledge."

"He exists sir." Angus confirmed.

"Good enough for me!" He plopped himself across from Kravitz. "I mean, it's glad to know Taako hasn't been going crazy for a year."

"I still don't trust him. Too pretty." Merle spat. "And we never got a name from Taako!"

"How has he been?" Kravitz asked, jumping at the name. "I mean. Taako. How is he?"

"Don't you know?" Asked Merle, still glaring. He slammed out a book with cover of neon pinks and greens and began tapping his wooden nails on it. Kravitz could just make out inscrutable jagged text on the cover. "You're the one who's sucking up so much of his time."

"Well, we only really communicate through farspeech." He looked back to the hole in the bushes, some of the branches still extended toward Merle. "We keep in touch but I don't... My job has meant that I don't see him often."

"That's so sad!" Magnus looked heartbroken. "Oh my gosh, I feel awful not seeing Julia after a whole day!"

"Magnus," Merle mumbled with an elbow into Magnus's side, "We're supposed to be interrogating him."

Magnus reached across the table and gently took Kravitz's hand. "When was the last time you saw him face to face?"

Kravitz wasn't sure what counted as a face-to-face meeting. He had been in Taako's general vicinity, and Taako even caught sight of him a few times, but strictly speaking there wasn't any interaction. His heart sank a little. "A few months ago, if I'm honest."

"MONTHS?!" The grip on his hand tightened, but the contact was strangely welcome. "That's awful!"

He hadn't really thought about it before, but it kind of was awful. As lovely as Taako's voice was, it lost something coming through a cold stone. Kravitz even had to stop tailing him for the last couple of weeks, meaning he only saw his face two-dimensionally.

"Months?" Angus looked confused, flipping through his notebook. "Are you-- Sure? I mean, I never saw you, but I assumed it was an illicit affair carried out in the dark of night."

"You read too many books kid." Merle pulled up his hat and ruffled his hair. "Besides, isn't your bedtime nine?"

"It's dark outside at nine."

"Do you want us to hook you up with a face-to-face?" Magnus offered. "I'm like his security guy kinda so if I take him somewhere no one will suspect stuff.

"That's quite a kind offer, but... I can't." He pulled his hands away from Magnus. "I'm sorry, my hands are probably freezing. I was out here for a while."

"Do you require warmth sir?" Agnus looked excited. "I've been working on my prestidigitation with Taako and I believe I'm able to help you."

"No, thank you." Prestidigitation wouldn't help with his condition, but there was no reason for them to know that. "Taako has mentioned you," usually in negative or bizarre terms, "from what I hear you're progressing well."

Angus lit up and started rambling a bit about his studies. Kravitz was grateful for the reprieve in questioning, and Angus was an engaging presence.

Merle looked at him and narrowed his eyes, still rapping his tree-fingers on the book. He muttered something under his breath then cleared his throat. "So, Crabbitz, how did you meet Taako again? I don't quite recall what you said."

"I snuck into his hotel room in the middle of the night."

Wait, he didn't mean to say that.

"I did not mean to say that."

Wait.

"Oh-ho-ho!" Merle looked smug. "Someone failed their saving throw!"

Magnus looked something short of scandalized. "You snuck into his room? Why the heck did you do that?"

"I was under contract to kill him and it seemed the most efficient option."

He saw the sharp end of an axe near immediately. "You want to kill Taako?" Magnus's eyes glinted with the intent to use his steel. He pushed the "Answer the question, do you want to kill Taako?"

"No! I haven't wanted to kill him since I came into his room!" He absolutely did not mean to spill that part of his guts. "I didn't mean to let on that I've been in love with him for so long." He definitely did not mean to drop the l-bomb like that. "Why do I keep telling the truth despite myself?"

"Oh, I cast a Zone of Truth." Merle readily supplied. "Wait, shit!"

The axe remained steady. "Angus, is there any way he could work around it? Some kinda spell?"

"I cast an arcana check when I suspected Merle cast Zone of Truth, and nothing came up. Whatever magic he has doesn't bypass Merle's zone. Actually," Angus adjusted his glasses, "May we ask you some questions while you're like this? Magnus seems determined to give you the 'axe talk,' and it might make them less suspicious of your motives."

"Hey, this was my idea!" Merle looked insulted. "Magnus didn't even realize Taako had a beaux."

"You're ending the contract, right?" Magnus still held onto his serious demeanor, eyes steady.

"I'm terminating the contract I was under to assassinate him. I started the process about a month ago. I'm under no obligation anymore."

"And if you do stop this contract, no one will come after him again?"

"I can't promise that, but," His fists closed around themselves, trying not to reveal his skeletal form. "If my employer terminates a contract, you can be damn sure that no one will want to touch it."

Magnus pulled his axe back. "You really don't wanna hurt him?"

"No, I love him too much for that." He sagged a little bit. "I swear I'm usually not this forthcoming."

"What, are you embarrassed?" Merle teased.

"Yes, I feel as though I am making a poor impression on you all. You're Tako's good friends and I haven't even introduced myself." He held out his hand. "Call me Kravitz, it's lovely to meet you all."

{5.5.

"Listen, I only talked to the vines, I didn't--"

Kravitz's stone crackled and the group froze.

"Krav, you there? Everyone on the planet is like, gone. Even my bookworm apprentice isn't bugging me every few seconds." Agnus looked at him fearfully, gesturing not to pick up.

Kravitz just has to keep mum about them, it's not a complicated process.

"Hello love, they're all with me."

Oh right.
}

+1.
Kravitz fell onto the balcony like a raven landing on a wire. The city was just beginning to thaw, any clinging winter snow turning to mush. Kravitz took a moment to watch the city shadows before kicking the shimmering protection spell back up. Taako didn't need to bring it down for him, but the thought was appreciated all the same. Kravitz catwalked past the spilling moonlight into threshold of the bedroom, looking around to see

Nothing.

Oh.

He was sure that this whole... Situation had been a sign to come visit Taako. His dropping hints that he was at this hotel, booking the same room, his flirty tone through the stone of farspeech, he thought--

"Krav? That you?"

Oh. "Yes." Maybe he was a little nervous. This was their first face-to-face in a year, and the first that came with expectations.

"Just sit anywhere!" A breezy voice called out from behind a door-- Kravitz's memory of the floor plan labeled it as the bathroom. The sound of a hairdryer whizzed up. "I'll be out in a sec!"

Kravitz checked around. The basic hotel room was mostly undisturbed, unlike the whirlwind that Taako was very capable of leaving behind. On the coffee table by the sofa sat two glasses and some green glass bottle. He wandered over to inspect the label. "Should I come back later?"

"Nope!" He said too lightly, popping the p. "I'm almost done here!" Kravitz fought down a wide smile, popping the cork on the Redcheek cider. Taako really did invite him over.

"I must say, I'm grateful you asked me here, even if I'm not completely sure why." He called. He carefully filled one glass and then the other, bringing one to his mouth. It smelled sweet and boozy with Christmas spices floating off of it. Kravitz almost felt giddy to know that Taako's lipstick would be imprinted on the other glass and he would be there to see it happen. "I'm not sure what you have to say, but I have some pretty good news myself."

"Oh?"

"I've finally fully broken from my contract!" He took another drink and refilled his galss to the top before popping the cork back on the cider.

"That means you don't have to worry about killing me, right?"

"Yes." He sat on the sofa. "It happened yesterday. I probably could have seen you before now, but I didn't want to take chances. My boss can be... Strict about these things."

THe hairdryer stopped. "So you're toatally cool now?"

"You could say nothing's between us now." He tapped on his glass, feeling a little triumphant. This was the first contract he hadn't filled, and he broke it of his own choice. It was almost a grand gesture, even if no one else understood.

"So I won't have to worry about handsome assassins sneaking into my room in the dead of night?"

"Well," He felt bolstered by the cider, "maybe if you invite them."

He heard the click of the door and then Taako say without a door between them, "That's good news for me."

Kravitz looked over and his heart stuck in his throat. There was Taako, less than ten feet away looking... Well.

Well.

He was leaning against the doorframe. deliberate and effortless, backlight of the bathroom causing his hair to halo around him. It was artfully tousled and touching his shoulders, shining like he was on set again. He had on the sheer pink robe he wore the day they met, but with, Kravitz thought swallowing, a lot less beneath it.

"Buh."

Taako smiled like he got the cream and walked closer to the sofa. The robe swished around his stockinged feet, opening just slightly from the motion. "What's wrong honey? Cat got your tongue?"

His eyes were sultrier than the first photoshoot he ever did for Elfine magazine, the one with the stuffed bear, and this time Kravitz could get intoxicated on the firsthand sparks dancing around his eyeliner. Taako was one of those people who could walk into a room of models without makeup and have enough charisma to marry the camera, leave it on their honeymoon and still get jewelry in the mail. Having it shining directly at your face could be a bit much, especially if you were predisposed towards him.

"Hi."

He took the glass that had started to fall from Kravitz's hands and took a quick sip, making an approving hum and leaving pink lipstick on the rim. He floated it over to the side table next to the bottle. Kravitz was too busy taking him in to respond, a breathtaking intrinsic beauty that could outshine the best carefully constructed images. The slope of his nose and heavy-lidded eyes were almost too much, especially after watching him from afar for so long. he was looking at Kravitz expectantly.

"I know I'm pretty darling, but I was really hoping something could happen here."

"I-Isn't this a little fast?" For me. Kravitz felt like he was going to leap out of his skin if this situation didn't immediately deescalate or escalate quickly.

Taako straightened his back, and Kravitz instinctually put a hand on his hip to... Something. It's important for something. "Honey, as far as I'm concerned, this is our one-year anniversary. I've been loyal, I'm almost certain you have been too..." He leaned back in, arms crossed this time, eyes shelled with scrutiny. "If you're not into me--"

"I didn't say that." He said quickly.

"If you're not into this--"

"I absolutely never said that." He moved his hand from Taako's hip to grab Taako's well manicured and naturally elegant fingers. "This all has just-- You're--" His body was overheating his brain. "Very attractive."

"Thank you."

"I wasn't expecting... this."

"In a bad way?"

"In no way a bad way." Smooth.

"So," Taako's hand flexed, "you're into it?"

Kravitz looked at Taako's attire, for a lack of courage to see his face. Beneath the robe, there was nothing but thigh-high stockings with a lacy pattern of roses at the top with garters leading up to a very/ flirty satin skirt with a rose design that was begging to be pushed up. "I definitely am. Into this. You."

"Well. Glad we established that." Taako freed his hand and put it flat on Kravitz's chest. "We are going to go as far as we want tonight." He fingered the top button on Kravitz's shirt. "Step one on this my chilly dude." He began popping buttons, hands practiced but still leaving a careless trail on his skin. "If we want anything to happen, You should really start by looking less like a tax att--"

He stopped when the buttons revealed Kravitz's chest. Taako was shaken out of his playboy person and reached under Kravitz's shirt, pulling at the stone of farspeech he wore, the thin chain behind cutting on the back of his neck.

"Is this-- The one I gave you?" His voice was soft. "You wear it?"

"Every day." Oh man that was so lame. Was it the wrong--

Taako fell into a crouch, hiding his face in his hands. "Oh man, I put this whole thing together and you go and do a thing like that--"

"I still have the note you wrote for me." Oh man that was so lame. Why did he try to go all in on this. Was it--

Taako leaned forward and put his forehead on Kravitz's knees. Kravitz resisted the urge to move his fingers through his done-up hair. "Do you know how long I spent on this look?" He sounded frustrated. "I'm wearing my three hundred gold foundation."

"You look really--"

"I know I look hot. That was the point of this. Taako don't fuck around when he gets hot for ya." He put his hands on Kravitz's knees (whoa) and looked up (whoa). "I put on my three-hundred gold foundation and spend hours putting on my face and put on my fucking garters and you manage to say things like that."

"I'm sorry?"

"Just my luck I have to do this with a romantic." He spat the word without malice. "Listen, I'm gonna keep going with my original movie star seduction and we can talk about whatever gross feelings later, okay?" He fluttered his lashes as he pushed up to stand and Kravitz forgot how to talk again. "Sound good, bubeleh?"

"Buh."

He kissed Kravitz's jaw, no doubt leaving a bright stain, and pulled back into sultry. "Good boy."

He grabbed one of Kravitz's hands and pulled it to his midthigh. Kravitz felt Taako push his hand up, the lace at the top of the stocking scratching his palm, moving past the short distance between the garters and the fringe of the skirt until he reached a hipbone.

Taako pulled his helping hand out of his skirt and pressed it to Kravitz's chin so he could look him in the eyes. "So bad boy," He said husky, "gonna take me up on this?"

This was really happening then. A year of watching and months of protecting and weeks of talking left a lot of wanting in Kravitz, and apparently Taako reciprocated. Taako reciprocated enough to make it romantic, and wear expensive makeup and spend all of this effort to make this special.

Okay.

Kravitz can (probably) play along with this.

"Bad boy?" Kravitz pitched his voice a little lower, sliding his other hand on the same path to cup the other hip. He watched closely the way Taako tried not to shiver. "Where did that one come from?"

"I've heard a rumor that you're dangerous." A kiss, this one on the temple. "And you did sneak into my room." Another kiss, on the cheekbone.

"And here I thought I was good." A kiss on the other cheek. "Little quick to call me a bad boy, don't you think?"

"Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part." He put his knees on the sofa so he was straddling Kravitz's lap properly now, putting a hand on each cheek and leaving a kiss on his forehead, curled over Kravitz so he was his entire horizon. For someone determined not to get into gross feelings, he was certainly trying to become Kravitz's whole world. "Or maybe it's those dastardly hands of yours wandering just a little too low."

They were now around Taako's thighs, fingers trying not to press too deeply. "Well, I have another idea about what bad guys do."

"What?" Taako asked, breathless.

Kravitz grabbed firmer onto the back of Taako's thighs and hoisted him up, Taako falling forward and slinging his arms around Kravitz's neck in response. Kravitz could feel the hard line of his body slam into his chest and smiled.

"What are you doing?" He asked delighted, allowing Kravitz to hold his full weight.

"Kidnapping you." Taako weighed barely anything to him as he made his way over to the bed. "Didn't anyone warn you that I was a bad guy?"

He dumped Taako unceremoniously onto the bed, just opening up his hands so he could fall unassisted. The robe opened fully and splayed around him, mimicking his hair. Kravitz was glad he wasn't under a Zone of Truth anymore, otherwise his candid nature might shock them both. He was waxing enough poetry tonight to make a candelabra of simile as is.

But damn Taako looked good.

Kravitz crawled over him to take in the view of his face properly.

"Hi."

"Hi." Taako breathed back. "What's up my dude?"

"Kidnapping." He brushed a loose curl away from Taako's forehead and let his hand stay over a cheekbone. "Saw someone so pretty I had to take them."

"Who could steal the heart of a thief?" Taako put up a hand and placed it on the back of Kravitz's neck.

Kravitz let the weight of it bring their foreheads together. "Aphrodite, Helen. Someone with a TV show."

"Well, if you want to get on TV, you need to change your image a little." Kravitz could feel his breath warm on his face and shivers on his exposed chest. Taako's free hand curled over his breast, tugging his shirt an inch more open. "You're up there with a face full of pink but forgot the most important part."

"And what's that?"

Taako reached up and pulled down and kissed Kravitz, slowly and just deep enough to hurt.

"Lipstick goes on your mouth dummy." He laughed. Kravitz put his other hand on Taako's face and kissed him again, more deeply, only coming up to breathe. He appreciated the rare feeling of warmth his body had as he looked down.

"What are you looking at?" Asked one of the most beautiful things Kravitz had ever seen, only a little smug.

"I'm just glad I get to be here with you." And he kissed him again, and again, and hoped he never had to stop.

{1.5

I love you

}