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It was raining.
Changkyun hated going out on missions in the rain. It made everything more miserable and heavy rain like this made the visibility so much worse.
But he had no choice. It was a rescue mission, with a very important target, they were told. He probably wouldn’t appreciate them too much if they waited for the weather to clear. And besides, Changkyun told himself, this equipment was built for rough conditions.
Unfortunately, he wasn’t.
He was just a soldier, just one man in a sea of other. He might have been one of the best pilots but still, he was expendable.
Cursing under his breath, Changkuyn changed into his pilot gear. He had done it a thousand times before but today, he felt nervous. His hands were trembling as he buttoned up his coat. He blamed it on the damn rain.
“Hi Lucia… I hope the mechanics haven’t been too rough on you”, Changkyun said, a smile ghosting on his lips as he ran his hands over the mech, trying to let the familiarity of it wash over his nervousness. The computer beeped sadly.
“He gets a hello but I don’t? Now that’s rude.”
The voice made Changkyun jump in surprise. He clenched his hands into fists, a foreful smile on his face as he turned towards the voice.
“Hyunwoo.”
Hyunwoo didn’t smile. Usually he did. Now, he frowned as he walked closer, strong arms wrapping tightly around Changkyun. It was warm and familiar, it felt right. Changkyun sighed, his whole body shuddering.
“What’s wrong? And don’t say ‘nothing’ because I can tell something’s bothering you”, Hyunwoo murmured, his voice barely a whisper.
“It’s this mission. And the weather. I have a bad feeling about this”, Changkyun replied, realizing how dumb he sounded the second the words left his mouth. He had flown his mech through a tornado and survived. Lucia hadn’t been happy, and neither had Hyunwoo but he had survived. A little rain couldn’t be that bad.
“Changkyun”, Hyunwoo said, and his tone was light, “look at me. You’ve done this a thousand times. It’s a standard rescue mission, and not even from a high security facility. You fly in, you fly out. And besides, you won’t be going alone, I’m coming too. And so is the rest of the unit.”
Changkyun chewed on his lip but nodded. Hyunwoo smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners and Changkyun couldn’t resist the urge to smile back. He still couldn’t ignore the fear in him, the feeling that something awful was going to happen, so he reached out and grabbed Hyunwoo by the wrist.
“Promise me you’ll come back safe, please.”
Hyunwoo smiled.
“I promise.”
The frantic beeping of the computer wakes Changkyun. His head is spinning, Hyunwoo’s voice echoing like he’s still there. Raindrops are drumming against the mech, their sound melancholy and threatening at the same time. Changkyun can feel tears burning his eyes, and his lungs feel like they’re not cooperating.
He can’t tell if the mech is actually spinning, or if it’s just his head. He feels like he’s falling, falling into an abyss. He feels weightless and heavy at the same time, like he can’t move his body but it’s floating, falling like raindrops or angels.
He closes his eyes, and sees flashes of Hyunwoo’s smile and his voice over the comm, cracking.
Hyunwoo had always been their leader. He looked like a leader with his broad shoulders and professional outlook but Changkyun knew it was all a façade. Hyunwoo was about as threatening as a stuffed teddy bear. Changkyun called him that one time, jokingly, and it stuck with them through all the years.
The memory brings the tears back and pushes them onto his cheeks. The sob tears through him before he can catch himself, and the computer beeps sadly in the middle of its freak-out. All Changkyun can think about is Hyunwoo, his eyes, his smile, his words.
I promise.
Changkyun wants to scream and fight, wants to go back to this morning and never let go of Hyunwoo, never come back to this moment. Not that he knows what or when “this” is. He doesn’t even know where he is now, and the computer is still frantically beeping.
A few deep breaths help him calm down enough to wipe his cheeks. The first thing he notices is that his earpiece is missing but it’s hopeless trying to look for it. He would have to disassemble Lucia, at least partially, to get a good look at it.
The control panel tells him he won’t be needing his earpiece. The comms are down. Most of his systems are down, and his left wing is mostly missing. There’s wires hanging out, swirling in the wind like little ballerinas.
He’s falling.
The realization makes his heart stop. Or at least that’s what it feels like. The fear he’s been feeling since this morning is suddenly overwhelming, wrapping its cold arms around him and paralyzing his lungs.
It’s always been there, he figures.
The knowledge, the fear, that some day someone wouldn’t return from a mission. It did happen every now and then but everything had calmed down after the war. Changkyun had been foolish enough to hope they would be safe. Hyunwoo had often smiled at him sadly whenever he’d said his wishes out loud.
That’s all Changkyun can think of. The curve of Hyunwoo’s smile, the way his eyes crinkle at the corners, the warmth of his embrace.
Changkyun has always known someday, someone wouldn’t return from a mission. He had just hoped it wouldn’t be Hyunwoo.
He had never thought it would be him.