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When the last Cup of China interviews had ended and the cameras had stopped flashing, Victor still hadn’t managed to wipe the sunshine grin off his face.
He hadn’t been able to stop himself from interjecting excitedly into Yuuri’s interviews, still so energized and surprised by Yuuri’s performance. Yuuri always smiled shyly while Victor chattered on, so Victor didn’t feel too bad about it. Besides, Yuuri was never much of a fan of talking with the press; Victor was more than happy to help out after today’s events.
They were walking through the abandoned halls of the arena now, their footsteps echoing against the tiled floors. Victor’s voice was also ricocheting off the walls, giving his energetic rambling a stereo effect.
“I’m still so impressed! You could tell everyone else was, too. Your friend Phichit did very well, so I see why he got the gold, but I still feel like you should’ve won after a surprise performance like that!” Victor exclaimed, gesturing wildly as he walked a step ahead of Yuuri.
Yuuri just hummed in response.
Ever so humble! Victor thought affectionately. “Ah, don’t downplay your accomplishment, Yuuri! I may be biased, sure, but you truly amazed the audience. It was beautiful, and the finishing touch of that quad flip had everyone on their feet!”
Victor rattled on, still excited by the very prospect that Yuuri could utilize a quadruple flip in his programs now. He smiled softly, remembering the heart-stopping emotion that had overwhelmed him when he had seen Yuuri spin through the air. It had sent sparks through his veins, finally lighting a blazing fire that Victor knew had to be shown to the world, but most of all, to Yuuri.
“You really have never failed to amaze me, Yuuri. I meant it yesterday when I said you were the best student!” Victor praised.
It took Victor a second to realize the silence, but when he did, he stopped immediately. Yuuri was standing still a few steps behind, hunched in on himself and flushed a light pink. Victor quickly retraced his steps back to him.
"Yuuri...?" he asked gently. What could be wrong? Less than an hour ago, Victor had finally garnered the courage to express his pride and love for Yuuri, and Yuuri had smiled back at him from the ice. So why did Yuuri look so conflicted now?
Yuuri seemed to steel himself and he stared determinedly into Victor's eyes. "Why did you kiss me?"
Victor felt his mouth fall open. That was the absolute last question he had expected to hear. Victor hadn’t read this entire situation wrong, had he…?
“Yuuri, what-?”
“Please just answer me!” Yuuri cut in, desperation in his voice. He bowed his head slightly, a sign of exactly how serious Yuuri was taking this.
Victor held up placating hands. This felt like the incident in the parking garage all over again. “O-okay, Yuuri. You don’t need to- to bow, it’s okay! Just look at me,” he urged quietly.
Yuuri looked up and Victor was baffled once again. Yuuri’s eyebrows were furrowed in the level of concentration that Victor was used to seeing in him just before a program or during a particularly complicated move in practice. His eyes seemed to glimmer more than usual. Surely not with tears…?! Victor thought, horrified.
“Why did you kiss me?” Yuuri asked again. He bit his lip after he got the words out. Victor panicked, desperately wanting Yuuri to smile again instead of seem to be on the edge of tears. What was happening here?!
“I don’t understand, Yuuri. I told you right then and there that it was the only way I could surprise you more than you’d already surprised me. I truly meant that. I wanted to show you how much that performance meant to me,” Victor said. He reached out for Yuuri’s hand, unsure of how to read Yuuri’s responding shiver. Victor rubbed calming circles into Yuuri’s palm, worried by the fact that Yuuri’s distress apparently hadn’t dissipated.
Yuuri squeezed his eyes closed, his hand closing tightly around Victor’s. He turned his face back towards the ground but kept his eyes shut. In a soft whisper that would have been inaudible if not for the echo of the empty hall, Yuuri spoke. “Was that all it meant?”
Victor felt like he’d been slapped by the words. Was that all? What was Yuuri asking? Why-?
“Did you only do it to- to surprise me?” Yuuri bit out, his lips wobbling in a pained attempt at a smile.
Oh.
Oh no.
The gravity behind Yuuri’s words suddenly hit Victor. Air whooshed from his lungs in a shocked exhale. Every comforting word he’d had planned flew away with his breath and Victor was left silent. Yuuri… Yuuri thought…?
“You think I only… I only did this as a way to…?” His words left him once more when Yuuri’s expression crumbled. Tears finally escaped from Yuuri’s eyes and Victor felt his heart plummet. This was definitely not the way things were supposed to be happening!
Victor blew out another harsh breath. He gently reached for Yuuri’s other hand, giving him plenty of time to pull it away in case that wasn’t what Yuuri wanted, but he met no resistance. Victor grasped Yuuri’s hands and held them aloft between them, just within Yuuri’s field of vision. Yuuri sniffled and looked up at Victor blearily.
“I’m sorry,” Victor breathed. “I guess I’m not that great at communicating my feelings after all.” He smiled apologetically.
Yuuri’s lips quirked downward in a (frankly adorable) look of confusion, but he waited. He fidgeted slightly, betraying his impatient nervousness.
“I can tell you with absolute confidence…” Victor paused, focused on choosing his words carefully. “Yuuri, I would never just kiss anyone who surprised me.”
Yuuri’s eyebrows rose. “Then…”
“I will admit, that performance did surprise me, and I wanted to show you that. But it was much more than that. Your performance was what finally made me realize that I had to show you everything I was feeling, how much you inspire me, and how much I care about you.” A self-deprecating chuckle escaped him. “Clearly I’m not so good at telling how I feel, so I thought… I thought if I kissed you, you would understand.”
Victor couldn’t meet Yuuri’s gaze. He wasn’t accustomed to this level of honesty, this complete trust of another person. If Yuuri had misconstrued Victor’s original intentions, there was no way of knowing if Victor’s feelings were truly returned. Victor was offering up his heart and hoping that Yuuri would handle it gently, one way or another.
But then again, if anyone deserved his trust and his heart, that person was Yuuri.
So Victor forced himself to look into Yuuri’s eyes again.
Yuuri’s brown eyes were glowing with a warm light that couldn’t have originated from the austere fluorescents above them. Tears were in his eyes again, but this time a smile accompanied them. This smile was no average twitch of the lips, no amused grin; no, this was the kind of smile that made Victor’s heart flutter in his chest. The smile was filled with relief, with exuberance, with…
With love.
Victor smiled just as widely back.
“I care a lot about you, too, Victor,” Yuuri murmured. “I hope you know that. I guess that’s, uh…” He swallowed. “That’s why I was taking this so seriously. I really, really wanted to be sure.” Yuuri squeezed Victor’s hands back just as tenderly as Victor had, his smile watery.
“I hope you’re sure now, Yuuri,” Victor said. “In fact, I never want you to forget how much I meant that kiss. I’m sorry I wasn’t clear enough. I’m sorry I made you cry.” He disentangled his right hand and wiped Yuuri’s tear-streaked cheeks.
Yuuri chuckled, pulling Victor closer to him with his newly-free arm. “Don’t be. I’m just glad to know for sure now. Honestly, I wasn’t really sure at first if it was a dream or reality…”
Victor grinned. “A dream come true, then, Yuuri?” he teased.
Yuuri’s face blossomed to a bright red, his joints going stiff in embarrassment. “V-Victor!” he laughed. “Don’t make fun of me!”
In the space of a single breath, Yuuri was suddenly chest to chest with Victor. His laugh quieted and Victor couldn’t help but feel triumphant. Victor took Yuuri’s chin in his right hand and gently tipped Yuuri’s head upward, a mirror of the moment in which Victor first encouraged Yuuri to embrace his inner eros. Victor smiled just remembering it, realizing how far they’d come.
“Don’t be embarrassed, Yuuri,” he murmured. “It’s a dream come true for me, too.”
Yuuri’s eyes softened, and this time he was the one who leapt into Victor’s arms for a kiss. This one, in Victor’s opinion, was just as good as the first.
Maybe even better.