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The youngest Vorbarras had taken the news well—though the Crown Prince had looked appalled, vaguely ill, when Gregor explained “body birth” to them. The girls were excited about the idea of a secret, invisible baby, but the expected date was much too far away for them to really understand. That night, Laisa had waited for Gregor in bed, hoping to get one last word in.
“I’m glad that we’ve taken care of that,” Laisa said. “The children knew that something was going on, they just couldn’t figure out what.”
“When they asked us why you were having a baby this way…” Gregor hesitated. “You were very thoughtful. You brought a good perspective to them.” Gregor had gotten stuck at that point, with the unspoken attitude plain on his face: we made a mistake. Laisa had explained that it was just a different way to have children, that people’s bodies were able to make babies without replicators or medical centers. Sergei had asked them, solemnly, if that meant the medical team was going away, and looked reassured when Laisa told him it was quite the opposite. Valentina had asked if a body birth was easier, and Laisa had said that it was easier in some ways, more difficult in others. She’d gone on to discuss which of their Toscane relatives had borne children, including her own mother and both of her aunts. Talking about Grandmother shifted them naturally to talk of the Toscanes’ next visit, and when the kids had found out that Grandmother and Grandfather were arriving again before the baby was, the question of pregnancy had quickly been put aside.
Gregor had stayed quiet except to support Laisa’s comments in front of the children, but the discussion that evening had opened up his own set of questions.
“So, did Ekaterin have anything to say, or did you mostly discuss the pregnancy with Helen?” He nudged Laisa playfully, trying to keep his tone light.
“She called it a young woman’s game. We talked about Tien, and his particular reasons for wanting a body birth”—she grimaced slightly—”but that she was glad she had done both. The thing I noticed was all the stories she had about her pregnancy with Nikki, not from the twins’ gestation; only that trip to Graf Station and thinking that she was going to miss the birth.”
Gregor held back, thoughtful.
“She also wondered whether the twins would have been more similar if they’d spent time together in utero. Then we decided that Barrayar probably didn’t need two of Helen.”
Gregor's eyes got huge. "What if it's twins?"
"Well, that's pretty unlikely."
"But that would be... difficult."
"More difficult after they were born than before, surely." He was settled beside her now, and she shifted closer to him. Neither of them spoke for a moment.
Finally, Gregor drew a careful breath. “But why would you want to carry a pregnancy, when the replicator would be so much safer?”
Laisa hesitated. “It’s complicated. I’m glad of the replicator with Sergei, and the girls, but when Simon was growing, I was so busy that sometimes I didn’t think about him for …” she hesitated. “For too long. With this one, I will always remember that the baby’s growing. Feel connected. There’s not very much I can give to a fetus in a replicator, especially running around with four other children nearby. If we did a transfer now, I’d miss him.”
“Or her.”
“Or her, yes,” Laisa smiled. She tried to steer Gregor back towards logistics. “Body birth is still fairly common on Komarr, you know; they’re probably the galactic experts on gestation in situ at this point. We’ll bring in a team from Solstice, it will still be perfectly safe.” As safe as I am on any other day, she thought. “Perfectly safe” was not a term Gregor could wholly understand.
“It’s a lot to ask of you, and your body, while Simon’s still so young. We’d planned on waiting another three months, until after Winterfair. We hadn’t even settled on a name yet, or whether we should have a girl or a boy.”
Laisa tried not to let her irritation show. He was always so calm and logical, her husband, even when he was feeling sorry for himself. Gregor was willing to let the Empire play out in all its beautiful chaos, but when it came to his own actions, he craved iron-clad control.
Gregor sighed. “We can certainly do some gene scanning after the fact, but not using a replicator, it limits the options for therapy if...”
Laisa put a hand over his lips. “We will have enough options.” Even after four healthy children, Gregor had never stopped worrying what the Vorbarra genes might carry. Laisa knew better by now than to tease him, or reassure him, or lecture him on nature and nurture.
“It’s well within the area of risk we can handle. I know it’s not a question you expected to face, but—let’s see what happens?” Laisa asked. “I can’t do this without you.”
Gregor nodded mutely. Laisa curled back into his arms and put her head on his shoulder. “Thank you.”