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The opening bars to La Vie En Rose clash suddenly with Wataru's movie and shock the doves settled around him into a flurry of spread wings and feathers. Ah, his peaceful Saturday! Interrupted! He hits the pause button on the remote and tries to calm the birds.
He spies his phone lit up and flashing - the caller ID says it’s Eichi, meaning this should be interesting. Wataru rolls across the floor to reach it and picks up.
“Wataru, are you free? Like right now?”
Wataru licks his spoon clean of ice cream and sticks it upright into the nearby tub before replying. He hopes his voice doesn't sound too strange without having warmed up.
“Oh, Eichi, you know I’m always free for you…! What do you want from me?”
“Want to go surprise Keito? I think he needs a break from his student council work, he’s been going every weekend.” Eichi sounds mischievous and maybe excited, like a little boy, which is adorable. Sometimes Wataru thinks it’s simply not fair how Keito can draw out this much Amazing from Eichi just by being himself while Wataru has to work for every bit. Mostly he enjoys the challenge. The playing field has to be leveled somehow, otherwise it would be no fun at all. Currently it sounds like a lot of fun.
“What a brilliant and incredibly considerate idea. As expected of you, Eichi! Shall we meet in front of the school gates, then?”
“Oh, I can get someone to pick you up. Just remind me what your address is…”
Wataru stifles a laugh at the thought of pulling up outside school inside a huge black limousine driven by a fancy chaffeur, ready to pull a prank on a classmate. That would be a scene in a strange show indeed. He also doesn't want Eichi knowing where he lives.
“There will be no need for that! I shall simply teleport there, for I am a magician, after all.” He’ll take the subway like a normal person.
“Oh, well, see you there in twenty minutes, then! I’ll be impressed if you really do appear out of thin air in front of me.” Eichi laughs quietly. ”I’m looking forward to it. Bye, now.”
Wataru winces. Maybe he’ll need to find something faster than the subway. And he needs to decide on the costume for this part, too. These pyjamas certainly won't do. What a challenge...!
--
A taxi ride, a stealthy sprint up the hill and climbing over the wall surrounding the school is all it takes in the end. Although he has to let his doves out of his false beard first for the sake of their comfort.
Eichi is already waiting for him, leaning against the gates and checking his phone. Wataru can’t exactly make himself appear out of nowhere without setup so he settles for a twinkling sound effect and a swirl of his cloak as Eichi turns to look through the iron bars of the gate.
“Amazing,” Wataru says, adopting the voice of the doddery old wizard he’s playing, “‘tis I, your very own Wataru Hibiki.”
“Wataru! When you said 'magician’ I certainly wasn't expecting this…”
“Fuhahahaha! Then I have succeeded, haven't I? But do not fear! Even in the form of a medieval wizard, I still have all the arcane powers of a stage magician!” He sweeps the pointy hat off his head and retrieves his last dove from inside, then a magic wand; with a wave of the wand and another sweep of his cloak he uses his school ID to send the motorised gates swinging open.
It would have been a nice touch to unroll some red carpet at this point, but he settles for releasing the dove and throwing some red roses onto the path. And another bouquet’s worth, for good measure - and just these last few - it never seems like quite enough when it comes to roses...! But he stops himself just in time.
“ Abracadabra…! Only the grandest of entrances are appropriate for you, Eichi, so I have created one. Shall we go?”
Eichi claps. “How lovely! Yes, let’s go.” He takes Wataru's arm as they walk. “It’s a little hard to hear your voice through that beard, though. I hate to spoil your act, but I’d rather talk more with you, and see your face, so could you take it off?”
Wataru looks at Eichi out of the corner of his eye. “I would shave it off, Eichi, but I didn't bring a razor with me. I’m disappointed you don't like my beautiful beard, it took so long to grow out…”
“Hm. True, it looks almost as long as your hair, and you’ve been growing that for as long as I’ve known you. Why don't you kill two birds with one stone and shave off both? I wonder what you’d look like.”
“I would look as Amazing as ever! I’ll be willing to do that if you actually want it, you know. But for now, I shall rip out my facial hair by the very roots!” With a feigned cry of pain (Eichi looks at him with real concern!) he unhooks the beard and conceals it with a little sleight of hand.
“Better?” He doesn't leave room for a reply, instead tearing off his voluminous wizard robes the same way as the beard to reveal a tacky store-bought witch costume underneath. “Better still?”
“Wow. I like the … the skirt. And the fishnets. Perhaps I should be checking under your clothes for surprises more often.” Eichi’s expression is very nice. Simple little surprises are the best kind.
Wataru twirls. “A witch somehow seems more appropriate for Halloween, doesn't it? Ah, but that’s not for a few weeks yet. I suppose you'd rather turn this into a second Valentine's for Keito, hmm?”
“Now where did you get an idea like that? …Well, it has to be some kind of holiday, at least...”
Wataru links their arms again and carefully matches his pace to Eichi’s as they climb the stairs to the student council room. Eichi walks faster than usual - is it a particularly good day for his health, or is he just excited?
He unlocks the heavy wooden door to the room and opens it with a quiet click. It’s warm and sunlit inside, but empty.
“Aw, Keito’s not here yet. I suppose we’ll have to wait.”
“Perhaps he finished all his business in the weekday?” Wataru wouldn't be surprised considering how hard Keito works.
“No, he’s definitely coming, because I told him not to, like, twenty times, and he kept telling me he’d only stay home if I came instead. Implying he hates being around me so much, how cruel…”
“My rival needs to learn to express his appreciation for your lovely presence, does he?” Wataru peers out the back window and spots a green-haired figure with terrible posture hurrying across the courtyard. “Ah, he’s coming now! I’ll hide behind the door to surprise him - or would somewhere else be better? This room has potential -- “ He glances behind him as Eichi pulls out a chair with a deliberate clack .
“Instead, Wataru, why don't we give him something good to walk in on, hmm?”
He smiles at Wataru and raises an eyebrow - no, he’s wiggling his eyebrows. Amazing, truly amazing.
Wataru wiggles his eyebrows back. “Ooh, Eichi, you’re like a jilted lover, trying to make your beloved jealous… just like something out of a romance novel! I’m impressed.”
Eichi frowns. “Does that mean you refuse?”
“Of course not! No matter how absurd or debasing the offer, this Wataru Hibiki can never resist the chance to perform with you, and on such a uniquely intimate stage…!”
Of course being played as a second fiddle for the sake of another is horribly insulting, but this chance is just too good to pass up! By all rights it should be impossible for him to steal the spotlight from Eichi and Keito; that doesn't mean he can't try . Or that he can't succeed. He’s a miracle worker, after all.
--
Wataru looks up to watch Keito’s reaction as he comes in. Firstly, he stops short, eyes widening, and adjusts his glasses with a finger. Then he grabs the left lens frame and adjusts them again, and squints, as if trying to see something too far away. Then, apparently having confirmed what his eyes are telling him, he carefully shuts the door behind him, sets down his bag and the bundle of roses he’s carrying, and takes a deep breath.
“I -- “
“Hello, Keito,” Eichi interrupts, breaking character instantly. “We’re here to brighten your day.”
“ Eichi -- “
“ That's right, my greatest rival! No work for you today, only playing with us.” He winks at Keito, who ignores it.
“And you, Hibiki...!”
Keito props up his glasses one last time. “...How about I start from the beginning? I walk up to the school gates and find out someone’s been littering garden waste all over the premises, which I have no choice but to pick up. For a start, it’s a waste of money, and the resources used to grow them, not to mention my own personal effort! And now I come in here ready to do work to your personal benefit, Eichi, seeing as you won’t do it yourself - no, seeing as you can't possibly be allowed to do it yourself - and I find you two - “
Wataru stops listening to the lecture and returns to his business, which is the business of making out with Eichi. He’s sat in a chair - not the big president’s chair but a smaller one to the side - and Eichi is sat on the table in front of him, which offers him a lot of possibilities.
He knows that Keito likes seeing Eichi get what he wants, so he plays up his submissive role here, sighing loudly and leaning in as Eichi nuzzles at his neck. He knows that Eichi likes a little surprise, though, so he threads his fingers into that lovely soft blond hair and pulls him in for the kiss, making it look like Eichi is initiating by way of a little expression of shock, widening his eyes dramatically before letting them flutter half-closed.
And he knows that he, personally, enjoys seeing Keito squirm, so he maintains unbroken eye contact with Keito the entire time, even as Eichi grabs for balance at his shoulders, pushing him back into his seat and deepening the kiss. Eichi tastes like Earl Grey. Keito squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before continuing with his lecture.
Eichi makes a lovely little noise into his mouth before breaking off the kiss, enough to distract Wataru - he glances up to see that Eichi, too, is watching Keito from under his lashes. He’s breathing a little too fast and heavy to be just healthy excitement so Wataru grips him by the waist and gently pushes him back up to sit properly on the table. Eichi doesn't let go of his shoulders though, so Wataru has to stay close. He lays his head on Eichi's knee.
“...And that’s why your behaviour right now is absolutely unacceptable and you need to stop immediately. Do you understand? Have you learned your lesson? No, you haven't, have you.” Keito is looking at where Eichi is rubbing his thumb over Wataru’s bottom lip.
Wataru can't resist a little improvisation, not that his role matters anyway. “Mm. A splendid performance, that lecture, I must say. You have rather shockingly high endurance for one so physically unfit, Hasumi Keito-kun!”
“I wasn't performing, Hibiki, I was giving you the talking-to you deserved. And I am perfectly fit by normal standards, thank you - “
- Eichi sticks his fingers back into Wataru’s mouth, pressing at his tongue -
“ Look, just get out of my seat. Both of you. Move.”
“There are plenty of other chairs for you to sit in, Keito,” Eichi points out reasonably. “If you really want to work so badly…”
“While you two carry on like that?”
“Yep. It’s great fun, I could keep at this for hours. How about you, Wataru?”
“Oh yes , Eichi, of course you may use me as you like…! To your heart’s content, so do not be afraid to crush my bones and snap my spine for the sake of your happiness…!” Possibly all three of them cringe at that horrifying line. Actually none of them do, but there are other tells, like the way Eichi has a fixed look on his face, suddenly lost deep in thought, or how Keito almost imperceptibly glances at the door as if planning his escape route.
“I’ll move you by force if I have to,” Keito warns, stepping closer.
“Oh? But so will I!” Wataru reaches out with a flourish of both arms, fast as a flash, and yanks Keito into the chair with him. Keito squawks and tries to escape, but Wataru trips him up with one impossibly bent leg and so he ends up falling into Wataru's arms bridal style, whole body gone stiff. He’s gone pink all the way to his ears, and his expression is somewhere between mortification and deepest offense. Blushing really suits him. It makes his eyes sparkle even greener than usual. Wataru makes a point of inspecting those eyes up close, leaning down until his braid brushes up against Keito’s cheek.
Keito closes his eyes. “Eichi, will you please call off your disgusting clown before he does something even worse than this.”
“But Keito, I’m as powerless as you are. This terrible evil witch cast a spell over me, and I need the kiss of my Prince Charming to break the curse.” Wataru looks back up in time to see Eichi make a ridiculous kissy face at Keito.
“Eichi, no. Stop it.” The fond note in Keito’s voice in the face of all this is truly Amazing.
“Fufu fu . Would you rather kiss me instead, then, prince?” Wataru makes his own kissy face, which he knows is ten times more ridiculous.
“Hibiki, I’m reporting you for sexual harassment!”
“Oh my. Well, even this Wataru Hibiki won't go that far. You are free to leave my loving arms…”
“No, I don't want that. What I want is for you to leave my chair .” Keito frowned. “Hold on. Hold on a second. Wait, I do -- “
Eichi bursts into laughter. “Ahh, he finally admitted it,” he crows, pointing at Keito. “Don't try and deny it, Keito! That was a beautiful Freudian slip.”
“It was not.”
“Was too.”
“No.”
“Yes it was.”
Keito glares at Eichi silently rather than continue it any further, letting out a long audible hiss of breath from his nose like a kettle on the boil.
Eichi plucks the glasses off of his face. “Come with us to… hmm... Burger King or I’m not giving these back,” he commands, swinging his legs.
“Can you not !” Keito jumps out of the chair and folds his arms. “Alright. I’m not even going to bother getting my spare pair out of my bag because you're going to give those back to me right now. Aren't you Eichi .” His stern tone is ruined as he tries to adjust the empty air in front of his face. Keito should star in a comedy show (unless the MCing in Akatsuki lives counts, in which case he already is).
“Wataru, catch!” Eichi tosses Keito's glasses over and Wataru palms them out of the air. He twiddles his fingers and swaps them for a bushy-moustached beaglepuss, which he slides onto Keito’s face.
“Your real glasses are in the Kingdom of Burgers now! You must go on a quest to regain them, oh noble and tragic knight…!”
“Hibiki, have you heard of ‘short-sightedness’? Do you understand the concept of a prescription? Do you realise that this plastic thing doesn't help me to see at all -- ”
Before he can get any further Eichi starts laughing again. “Who is this?” he asks in mock confusion. “Where did Keito go? What have you done with him, mysterious moustache stranger? Your disguise is just too perfect for me to see through.”
Watching the two of them bicker - Keito whipping off the fake glasses, Eichi gasping at the reveal that it had been him all along - Eichi taking the 'disguise’ and putting it on himself, the twitch at the side of Keito's mouth as he struggles not to smile at the sight - Wataru can barely bring himself to be jealous.
But causing a disturbance is in his character, and he can never break character! So he hops out of his seat, sprinkles a double handful of glitter and rose petals over the two of them, conjures three different pairs of sunglasses with a series of loud pops, and puts a fourth pair on as they turn to look at him.
“Incognito! Shall we go? Would you two lovebirds like to ride to Burger King in my beautiful balloon?” Keito opens his mouth to say something but Wataru soldiers onward. “My balloon, it can only bear the weight of two at most, so I shall have to sprint along underneath…!” He smiles brightly. “Neither of you can steer it, so I wonder where the wind would blow you…? I wonder where you would land? In the middle of the ocean, stranded and slowly perishing of hunger and thirst although you are surrounded by water on all sides…? Ahh, so romantic !” He clutches at his heart like he’s dying himself.
“I’d die of going without my medicine before I died of hunger and thirst,” Eichi says mildly. “And then Keito could eat my corpse.”
Keito sniffs. “I doubt you have any nutritional value, Eichi.”
“Yes, but wouldn't I be delicious?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Well then, if you won't eat me you’ll have to eat burgers with us instead.”
Eichi finally takes off the nose glasses and gets to his feet to lead them out of the room. He gets only a few paces across the room toward the door before his breath catches and he stops to lean against a table. Despite all that had apparently happened in the Quarrel Festival Keito still jerks towards Eichi, stopping himself a moment before he can go over and steady him; and Eichi’s knuckles still whiten against the dark wood of the table even as a rueful smile crosses his face.
Wataru, too, would very much like to go and give Eichi a shoulder to lean on, but that would only annoy him. Instead he leaps over to grab the roses Keito had collected and throws them out over Eichi’s path the same as he had at the school gates.
“Of course Your Majesty cannot proceed onward without the proper fanfare,” he calls out smoothly. “I deeply apologise for making you wait even a moment!”
“Wataru, you don't actually need to bring out roses every time I do something, you know that, right?” Wataru smiles noncommittally (he absolutely does need to, roses are his trademark).
Eichi looks back. “Come on, then.”
Keito rolls his eyes. “Fine. You're such a pain.” He pauses. “But I’m not standing for littering in my own student council room. Those flowers are going have to be picked up again .”
Wataru looks at him.
“I’m not doing it. Hibiki, you're the one who brought them here and threw them down here, so take responsibility.”
Keito’s expression is stern. Wataru looks at him - looks at the flowers - gets down on his hands and knees, looks at Keito again - picks up a single flower, inspects it sadly, looks at Keito again -
“I’m not helping you with that.” Keito’s fingers are twitching. Wataru continues to collect the roses one by one. Once he has the whole bunch he crawls over to Keito and silently offers them to him, still on his knees.
“Am I supposed to accept these from you?” Keito asks in disbelief. “What - why do you do things like this? What exactly are you trying to achieve?”
Wataru puts on a hurt expression. “I thought you wanted me to pick them up for you.”
“I - okay, I’ll find some water for them or something.” He snatches the roses out of Wataru’s hand. “Happy?”
“I may pass out from delight,” Wataru proclaims, and hands Keito his real glasses back.
And so they go to Burger King - not in the limousine he’d pictured, thankfully, but there is a fancy, slightly nervous chauffeur waiting to take them there. Wataru pulls the brim of his hat down further over his face, hoping the lady at the next counter over doesn't recognise him as a regular, while Eichi learns the wonders of reading the menu above the counter and orders a hamburger three layers tall.
--
“Coooome on, Keito,” Eichi sings, wagging a french fry in the air. Keito doesn't respond, instead spearing a salad leaf on his fork and biting it in half with a certain aggression. “Just one single fry. Then I’ll leave you in peace.”
“Unlikely,” Keito says, eating the other half of the leaf.
“Why won't you do it? Wataru would do it, wouldn't you, Wataru?” Wataru nods solemnly.
“I don't think there’s anything he wouldn't do, Eichi,” Keito says, sounding nearly worried at the prospect. He glances dubiously at Wataru.
“Do not fear, Keito-kun, even a versatile creature such as myself has lines that are yet to be crossed. For example, murder, or certain types of grievous bodily harm… oh - and I would never give up on you, Keito-kun…!” He slides across the table to take Keito's hand. “I’ll protect you, don't worry. If your physique is too delicate to handle even a single sliver of potato --”
Keito snatches his hand away. “Don't touch me randomly,” he says, pointing his fork at him before turning back to Eichi. “All right, bring it on. I’ll eat as much damn potato as you like.”
“Reverse psychology!” Wataru cheers as Keito delicately takes the end of the fry in his mouth, pulls it out of Eichi’s grasp and eats it.
“Somehow I was expecting that to be more romantic,” Eichi muses. He picks up another chip. “Let’s do this more by-the-book. I didn't cook this, so… Keito, I ordered this food from the counter with love. Now, close your eyes and say 'ahh’ for me...”
There’s a very long moment of silence while Eichi and Keito stare at each other and Wataru tries to muffle his laughter.
Finally Keito closes his eyes. “...Ahh,” he says, totally deadpan. Eichi feeds him the chip.
“Can I open my eyes yet?” he asks after swallowing it.
Eichi laughs. “No,” he says, and leans forward over the table to kiss him. Keito jumps, then relaxes and all the tension seems to leave his body as he kisses back. The sharp lines of his mouth, his jaw, his shoulders all soften. He puts down his fork and reaches out to cup Eichi’s cheek. Eichi hums, closes his own eyes.
Wataru wishes he’d brought popcorn. It would be the perfect prop for this. Instead he slurps his milkshake as loudly and annoyingly as possible and gives a thumbs-up and a wink when Keito cracks an eye open to glare at him.
Keito pulls away and whispers something to Eichi, who laughs mysteriously. Keito tuts and sits back, arms folded.
“Hibiki. I appreciate that what we're doing isn't exactly appropriate but that’s no excuse to… spectate. Please have some sense of privacy. Or more accurately a sense of shame.”
“I’m just returning the favour. It’s an eye for an eye, isn't it? You were certainly an attentive audience earlier today…!”
“What… no. No, you two were in my workspace, being disruptive, that’s an entirely unreasonable comparison - ”
Eichi flops sideways onto the table to frown up at Wataru. “Look, Wataru, you got him all annoyed again. I was doing so well.”
Wataru smiles. “Now I’m the one doing well, aren't I? Fufufu - my heart is filled with contentment at this reception, even moreso than it usually is.”
“Hmm. I truly can’t understand you sometimes...”
“That is just as it should be, Your Majesty,” he says lightly, and with that goes back to drinking his milkshake.