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Chapter Text

The first time Kara notices the handwriting that is decidedly not her own scrawled across the inside of her palm, she accidentally disintegrates her pencil.  She glances around to make sure nobody else saw and quickly digs around her desk for a new one.  

That done, she shakes her hand viciously, like a dog shaking off the wet (as if shaking it is going to make the writing disappear) and tries to determine if any of her friends might be playing a practical joke on her.

But no.

Nobody’s touched her palm for longer than a handshake this morning and anyway, James is out of the office on assignment and Winn has been holed up trying to do something really tech-y sounding that she didn’t understand when he’d tried to explain it.

She considers the possibility that it’s Alex since her sister could totally be getting back at her for stealing the last potsticker last night when she wasn’t looking, but that’s not Alex’s handwriting.

Besides, the writing is too purposeful to be a prank.

Call Rutherford

She doesn’t even know a Rutherford.  The only Rutherford she knows is the big steel mill outside of town, but she knows that there are probably plenty of Rutherfords around.  Probably with little top hats and monocles and saying things like “pip pip cheerio mate!”

Kara shakes her head a little.  Her thoughts are often a little scattered, but right now she needs to focus.

It’s probably not a prank.

Maybe some form of technology?  Kara panics.  Has Lilian been loose lately?  Have any of the Fort Roz aliens managed to figure out a way to get to her?  Maybe it’s something new they’ve never seen before?

Her mind is racing with possibilities.  She knows she should go to the DEO and get checked out.  But if she does that... well.  She’ll be put under so many tests she’ll feel like a Kryptonian lab rat. Even worse, Alex will worry.

So... maybe hold off on that.

***

She texts Winn instead.  Asks him to meet her outside the DEO.  She’s glad he doesn’t question it.

“So what’s up Kara?”

“I need you to run some tests--”

He's already nodding his consent before she finishes and she knows he's gonna have more reservations in a second.

“--and not tell the DEO or my sister?  Maybe?”

Kara shoots him a hopeful smile, trying to get him to cave.

That helpful nod immediately transforms into a look of sheer panic.

“Oh no.  No, no, no, no, no.”  Winn punctuates each no with a shake of his head and holds up a finger.  “Sorry Kara.  You might be Supergirl, but Alex scares me way more.  I’m not getting between you two.”

Kara frowns.  “You’re not getting between us.  I just don’t want her to worry over nothing.”

Winn hesitates, and Kara can feel him breaking.  She pouts for effect.

“Please?”

Winn sighs, rubbing a hand across his forehead.  “If Alex asks, you made me.”

Kara beams back at him.

“Deal.”

***

“That is pretty weird.  I mean, you’re an actual alien and you have a friend from another earth that you occasionally visit so it’s not like...the highest thing on the scale of weird.  But definitely...definitely weird.”

“But not like...alien technology weird.”

“No.  As far as I can tell your vitals are all completely normal and there’s no extra tech on you.”

She deflates at his words, shoulders slinking.  “That’s okay Winn.  It was a longshot anyway.  Thanks for trying.”

***

She’s been sitting at her desk at CatCo for over an hour, absentmindedly staring at her hand.  She’s managed to look busy when Snapper’s around, but only barely.  She can’t help the feeling in the back of her mind that she’s missing something.  Something big.

She bites her lip, a small idea beginning to form.  Tentatively, she licks her thumb and rubs at the edge, just the C.  Nothing changes.

She excuses herself to the bathroom and swipes some water over it and then more and more until she’s vigorously scrubbing the skin.  Nothing at all.

She knows she shouldn’t be surprised.  Winn didn’t swab her skin, but he’d probably have been able to tell if it was just pen.

She returns to her desk more flustered than she left it, at a loss for what to do.

As she stares down at her hand, willing a solution to come to her, she finds herself contemplating the handwriting.

It’s objectively quite attractive, even if it’s a little hastily written.  The strokes are long and even, elegant even.  It’s the writing of someone who has long had proper penmanship impressed upon them.  So much so that even something quickly scrawled across the hand can never be completely sloppily done.  The writing is small too, as if the writer hadn’t wanted it to be visible.  Kara can’t really see it unless she flips her hand over.  She finds herself wondering about the person behind the writing (most likely a woman, though she wouldn’t rule out a man).  Who is this stranger?  What are they up to?  

It’s only after she realizes she’s spent the last twenty minutes daydreaming about what this stranger might be like and how dreamy they might be that it hits her like a bolt of lightning, the revelation so startling it’s as if Livewire had returned to strike her once more.

Soulmate.

She has a soulmate.

***

Having a soulmate was one of those things that Kara had given up on when she’d learned that Krypton had been destroyed.  Just another thing she’d never get to experience like Kryptonian conception or being assigned a job by the council.

Still, she’d presumed it would be okay.  Earth didn’t have soulmates so people were perfectly content to pursue dating.  Dating had been reviled on Krypton, not just because it was considered a base activity--a pursuit of lower level instincts--but also because it was considered a grave insult to one’s soulmate.  It was almost freeing, having so many options at her disposal.  In her darker moments though, moments of indecision and paralysis, she’d longed for the simplicity of a soulmate, of knowing .

Soulmates had always been sacred on Krypton.  Though there was procreation between them, sex had never been part of the equation.  Kryptonians had generally reviled such desires and though Kara had heard of soulmates who’d partaken, it was always considered taboo.  Instead, a soulmate was considered the mind most compatible with your own, the ultimate intellectual pursuit resulting in a perfect meeting of the minds.  A strong bond and a carefully cultivated mind allowed synchronization of soulmates, many soulmates finishing the sentences of their partner.  It was said that some of the most compatible soulmates managed a near full-fledged telepathy whole planets away.  

Kara could still recall wistfully dreaming of her soulmate as a youngling, wondering about them and what they were like.  Mostly she’d hoped that they too liked the stars.  She’d hoped that her parents would approve and the match would be celebrated for its worthiness.  That her mind would be validated with a mind considered as studied as her own.

She remembered every year hopefully anticipating her yearly doctor’s appointment, hoping that this year would be the year that the doctor would declare her mind fully mature and capable of latching onto a soulmate.  She knew it was improbable nigh impossible because she'd never heard of one occurring before sixteen.  Still, that hadn't stopped her from hoping, from desperately trying to think adult thoughts for the moons leading up to her visit.

It never amounted to anything and she always left disappointed despite her parents best attempts to soothe her.

She almost laughs at those thoughts now.  She’d been so naive.

She bit her lip as she considered.  Clark had Lois, but he’d never mentioned soulmates to her.  Perhaps he hadn’t wanted to disappoint her if it turned out he was the only one?  Or perhaps he didn't even know what he had.

As soon as she got off from work, she called Clark, carefully probing the situation.

“Do you think Lois is your soulmate?”

Clark’s warm laugh filtered through the phone.  “Hello to you too Kara.”

She winced.  “Sorry, sorry.  Hi Clark.  Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

She could almost see Clark’s boyish grin, the one that lightens his face, taking away his severity and making him seem ten years younger.

“Lois is it for me.  So yes.”

“But how did you know you were soulmates ?”

“I knew when I looked at her she was special.  But I don’t know,” Clark mused aloud, “it wasn’t really one thing. It was everything about her, all at once.  I feel like I fall more in love with her every day.”

It was...romantic.  And a lovely sentiment.  But not what Kara was after.

“Okay but what specifically let you know you were soulmates and she wasn’t just someone you were in love with?”

Clark’s puzzlement was clear even over the phone.  “...I don’t understand what you’re getting at?”

“Did you see the ink?  Do you hear her in your head?”

Clark’s silence was her only reply.

Oh Rao.  What if she’d got it all wrong and Clark and Lois weren’t soulmates after all?  No.  Impossible.

After a few excruciatingly long moments, Clark spoke up.

“What are you talking about Kara?”

“I--it’s nothing.”

They catch up briefly and hang up not too long after.

Kara’s head spins.

No.  She’s sure they’re soulmates.  But Clark was only a baby when he left.  Maybe he just didn’t know how to strengthen the bond.

That was it.  That had to be.

Soulmate bonds required a certain mental effort and know-how to get the real effect.  And since humans generally didn’t cultivate that kind of mental strength, the link would be fuzzy at best, even if the other party did have the proper mental training.  Which Clark did not.

So the link is probably so tenuous he doesn’t even notice.  So.  Clark and Lois.  Definitely soulmates.  They have to be.

But Clark still doesn’t know anything about this.

So Kara is on her own.

***

She spends the next few days testing it.

Science isn’t really her favorite, but she spent enough time listening to Alex mutter about the scientific method to get at some of the basics.

She works her way through a few potential hypotheses.

She starts by working on the old mental exercises that her parents had taught her and she’d abandoned since coming to a planet where they would get no use.  

All she succeeded in doing was giving herself a headache as the fuzziness in her head increased.

She tries writing back to her soulmate, scrawling a hello and her name and her phone number all over her arm.  

The first time she does it, she’s on pins and needles all day.  At first she thinks maybe her soulmate isn’t awake yet to see it.  After all, she’d been all buzzed with the idea of contacting them and had woken up at 5--too early for a normal person to see the writing.  

But by the time it hits 10, she knows her soulmate is probably up.  She’s often seen words as early as 7 or 8 on her hand.  But maybe her soulmate didn’t notice?

She tries writing bigger.  Exaggerating her handwriting so her soulmate knows it’s not their own handwriting.  She scrawls all over half her arm to the point Winn gives her a weird look and asks if she’s considering getting a sleeve.  (Which she has to look up to realize he means a tattoo sleeve, but whatever that’s not the point).

She never gets a response.

It’s demoralizing to say the least.  

Here she is, buzzing with the possibility of a soulmate and her soulmate isn’t even curious to know who she is.

It was only after a message appears, written directly over her own writing, when she realized it was probably only working one-way.  Her body was receptive to her soulmate’s, but her soulmate wasn’t receiving the same way.  

Like a radio where there should've been a walkie-talkie.

So her soulmate isn’t ignoring her.  But she’s also no closer to meeting them and has no way of getting in touch.

All she had to go on were some incredibly vague notes.

Still.  It isn’t nothing.  

After Kara gets over her disappointment that they don't know she's out there, she learns to appreciate it.

They're not ignoring her.

She knows they're out there.  Probably close.

And it’s kind of nice?  Like getting secret messages from a friend, if she could only just figure out the code.

She figures that her soulmate is probably somewhere in National City and that’s why she’s finally getting notes from them.  They must have moved in recently and like signal strength, the connection was finally close enough to come through.

It’s possible they live closer, but the connection doesn’t seem to vary no matter where she is in the city, so she figures somewhere in the city is a safe bet.

So that just left...the whole population of National City.  But at least it was better than the whole universe or even the whole planet.  Compared to the near incomprehensible number of alien life forms out there, having her soulmate in National City was a relatively small number.

She’s tempted to use DEO resources, but she figured knowing something like that would just cause an uproar and a trail of paperwork a mile long.  She could tell them if she ever actually found her soulmate.

She thought about telling her friends or Alex, but something about it felt terribly personal.  She’d rather keep it to herself.  Besides, Alex’s dating life was fairly spotty.  It seemed like rubbing it in her face to let her know that Kara also had a soulmate to solve those problems.  And Winn and James...It’s one thing telling Winn she’s got writing on her arm, it’s another telling him that it’s because she has a soulmate.  He had, after all, declared he liked her and she’s not totally insensitive to that.  And she and James had had… a thing.  

She really needs more friends.

***

She spends a lot of time staring at the writing on her hand.  Sometimes it's as clear as the first one.  A note for a meeting or a call of some kind.  Sometimes it's a lot more nonsensical.  Things like S-K Form scrawled on her palm in the same elegant writing.  

She wants to shout sometimes.  To run around shaking people until she finds them.  Somewhere out there her soulmate is going about their daily business with no idea of the momentous thing that's happened in both their lives.

She wonders if it'd be easier. To not know.  To go around like every other human.  To date and hope that this person was the one , but never know for sure.  She's still not sure.  

This was never a problem on Krypton.  With a two way chain, soulmates knew almost as instantly as both were old enough to maintain the connection.

She doesn’t know how to handle this.

Should she keep looking?  Should she wait for them to just appear in her life?

For once she’s flying blind.

***

Kara’s absentmindedly staring at the writing-of-the-day (Verify 8-K , whatever that means) when Alex beams her in the face with a pillow.

It doesn’t hurt --she’s Supergirl after all--but she does splutter a little at being caught off guard.

“Earth to Kara!  Come in Kara!”

Kara winces.  “Sorry, sorry.”

“Seriously, you’re being a space cadet tonight.  It’s supposed to be sister night.”

Kara apologizes again, trying to refocus on the show they’re watching, but after only a minute or two, her eyes wander once more to the writing.  To her erstwhile soulmate.

“Okay,” Alex cuts in.  “Seriously.  What’s with the weird fascination with your hand.  It’s your hand.  You’ve seen it before.”

Kara bites her lip and holds up a hand as if to preemptively ward off attacks.

“Don’t freak out.”

***

“So you have a--”

“Yeah.”

“And he's writing those--”

“Yeah.”

“And you don’t know who--”

“No.”

“Right.”

Alex purses her lips contemplatively, but otherwise doesn’t respond.  

After a few moments, Kara lifts her head a little from where she’d been staring hard at her shoes.  Alex looks thoughtful, but she’s not glaring at her and she hasn’t immediately launched into a rant about safety.  Kara guesses that’s a good sign.

“You’re sure?” Alex asks finally.

Kara nods.  “We didn’t really use pens back on Krypton, but it makes sense with everything else.”

Alex hums and Kara can’t help but blurt out,

“So does this mean you’re not mad?”

Alex blinks a few times rapidly, as if to clear her head.

“Mad?  Why would you ever think I was going to be mad?”

Kara winces.  

“Because I kept it from you?  And I dunno.  It probably means the DEO has to file a ton of paperwork or something.”

“Kara,” Alex chides gently, “you’re more important than anything the DEO could make me do.  You know that right?”

Kara bites her lip.  She should know that.  In theory, she does.  Sometimes it’s hard to remember though when her thoughts get all jammed up going five thousand miles an hour.  She’s pretty sure there are times her thoughts could break the sound barrier with how quick they’re going and breaking the sound barrier means a sonic boom that inevitably scrambles everything up there.

What was she just thinking about?  Oh, right.

Alex is still looking at her expectantly, so Kara gives her a little nod and then burrows her way into her sister’s arms.  Alex makes a mock show of protest, but Kara knows that Alex craves the contact as much as she does.  

Kara’s always been pretty tactile and Eliza and Jeremiah were never the most hands-on parents so Alex is starved for touch.  Once they started getting along, it was one of the first things they bonded over.

Alex huffs a little, whining, “--ouch!  Kara stop squirming your elbows are really sharp; come on, quit it Kara!” as Kara rearranges herself to wrap around her sister so that they can both fit on the couch.  

Kara ignores her whining, beaming up at Alex when she’s comfortable.

Alex rolls her eyes, but she forgets (or maybe she remembers and just doesn’t care) that Kara’s got far better vision than the average humanoid and can see the tiny lift at the corner of her lips that indicates that Alex is pleased and just trying to hide it.  

They settle there for the night.  Alex knows that Kara has been fretting about telling her and now is exhausted, her entire body goes limp as she lets that tension seep from her bones.  

They don’t talk about it for the rest of the night, instead turning to the tv for some good old fashioned Buffy.

Kara finds herself at a loss to describe how relieved she is that Alex is so understanding.  Luckily for her, Alex already knows.

***

“So,” Alex says, mouth partially full of the potsticker she’d swiped before Kara could get to it (resulting in a heavily pouting Kara), “how does this whole soulmate thing work, anyway?”

Kara shrugs helplessly.  “I don’t really know?  All the soulmates I knew were two Kryptonians bonding together so this is pretty unprecedented.”

“Ooh unprecedented.  Big word,” Alex teases.

Kara, as a now mature and dignified adult with a real job, real apartment, and real responsibilities, responds by sticking her tongue out.

Alex laughs at Kara before taking another swig of her beer (some new craft brand Alex is obsessed with that Kara had wrinkled her nose at, but dutifully bought for when Alex was over).

“No, but seriously.  What’s the game plan?”

Kara twitches.  Her knee is bobbing up and down faster than strictly human and her hands keep coming up to play with her glasses even though they haven’t slid down the bridge of her nose at all.

Alex is still looking at her expectantly with one brow raised.

Kara clears her throat.  “There kind of...isn’t one?”

Alex immediately starts choking on the sip of beer she’d just taken, spraying some on Kara’s new rug.  Kara pouts.  She kind of wishes her powers extended to steam cleaning things.

Alex is wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“You verifiably have a soulmate, somewhere in this city, and you’re not going to look for him?”

“It’s not like I have a ton to go off of!” Kara argues.

“Still!  People would kill to have that kind of security in their relationships.  I’d love to just get a relationship to work for more than a few months, never mind the rest of my life.”

Kara stares guiltily down at her shoes.

“Sorry.”

“Oh hey, no.  Kara don’t feel bad.  That’s incredible that he’s out there.  I’m really happy for you.”

Kara smiles tentatively, but Alex is genuine and she soon finds herself beaming back at her sister.

“I just think… when the timing is right, we’ll find each other.”

Alex sighs, but she’s only faux exasperated.  “You always were the relentless optimist of the family.”

***

Things go back to normal after a while.  Well.  As normal as they can be.  

She still wonders who her soulmate is, but without anything definitive that can link her to them, it’s a pretty fruitless search.

So mostly she goes about her daily life, punctuated by the daily intrigue of what her soulmate will write next.

She’s come to think of them as a sort of pen pal.  She finds herself wondering at times what they’re up to.  When she greets the sunrise, she wonders if they’re an early riser like her.  If they’re the kind to smile and greet the day or if they snuggle down, wanting an extra hour or two of sleep.

She resists the urge to google everything that shows up on her arm, searching for clues.  That’s a dangerous rabbit hole that she doesn’t want to go down.

It’s a quiet kind of ache, born from simply knowing they’re out there.

Because as far as anyone else knows, there are no such thing as soulmates.  It’s just one more way she is totally alone.

But there’s something hopeful there too.  That at some point, she’ll meet her soulmate and she’ll be just a little less alone.

She hopes that someday comes soon.

She hopes.

***

She’s been staring at it all day.  

Daily Planet- 2.

That could be--could be anything.  There’s no reason to think it’s her meeting.  Well.  Clark’s really.

But she can’t help holding her wrist side-by-side with her own planner.  L-Corp at 2 with Clark.  

It can’t be?  Can it?

But the Daily Planet doesn’t often have reason to cover National City so unless her soulmate is visiting Metropolis for the day...well.  Kara can connect the dots.

She’s jittery all day, the sense of potential filling her veins and flooding her senses.  James has already banished her from his office twice because she keeps popping in for no other reason than to burn off a little excess energy.

She can’t help her guilty feeling of wanting a crime to stop just to quell the tingling that lingers in her extremities.  On the other hand, if something big comes up, she might have to miss the meeting entirely and that won’t do.

It won’t take longer than ten minutes to get to L-Corp, even if they take public transport.  Still, she leaves her desk at ten past one, no longer able to sit in her seat and goes to track down Clark.

Clark raises an eyebrow at her, but otherwise doesn’t comment.  She’s grateful now that she’s with him and not Alex.  Alex would’ve known something was up with her and would’ve wanted to know why.  Clark might sense she’s got jitters, but probably chalks it up to her first reporting assignment.

She smiles brightly and bounces on her toes until he finishes what he was working on.

They’re still too early, but Clark humors her and lets them leave a little after half past one.

The moment she steps into the building, that fuzzy feeling in the back of her head begins to build. Her head feels static-y, like there’s too much there, but she can’t quite get a read on it.

It’s a little like when she’s in the middle of a busy place and there are just too many voices, but it’s also not quite the same.  She doesn’t really know what to make of it.

They take the elevator up and the sensation builds, slipping down her spine until her entire body feels infused with something .  It’s not exactly unpleasant.  If it wasn’t so foreign, she might even like it.  But at the moment it’s doing nothing but unsettling her.

The secretary--Jessica is what the name plate on her desk reads--directs them inside.

When Kara steps into the room, everything intensifies like woah .  This is it.  Her eyes are trained on the floor, but she lets them slowly drift up, past the shapely calves and sharply dressed figure of a woman so stunning she almost gasps.

But all of that pales in comparison to her eyes.

Because the moment she locks eyes with Lena Luthor she knows.

Chapter Text

Kara doesn’t really need to breathe.

Sure, she makes a habit of it.  It’s weird for humans not to breathe.  And she likes the feeling of air, the crisp coolness filling her lungs.  But she doesn’t strictly need it. At least not at the rate humans seem to.

This is a blessing she never knew she needed because the moment she makes eye contact with Lena Luthor, she stops breathing.  She freezes up and her body forgets all non-essential functions.

The fuzziness that’s been filling her head for days evaporates and she’s left with a warm feeling of home.  The home she feels when Alex holds her close, vowing to keep all bullies away, multiplied by the security she hasn’t felt since she left Krypton.  It bubbles up somewhere from mid-chest and threatens to spill out her throat.

She’s sure she does a rough approximation of a fish for a few moments, only snapping her mouth shut when Clark elbows her roughly in the side.

She averts her eyes, staring hard at her left hand.  Discretely, she turns it just a smidge so she can see the faint outline of ink that she’s been staring at all day.

Daily Planet- 2.

She lets Clark do the talking, nodding along like she’s paying attention, but she’s not all there.  She’s too busy trying to discretely peer around Miss Luthor’s hand to check if they match.  She’s pretty sure they will, but she just needs to be sure --

Miss Luthor turns her hand as she waves it and Kara catches just a little bit of ink.  Her breath catches in her throat.  She’s only seen a little of it, but she doesn’t need to see the whole thing.  She’s spent enough time memorizing that handwriting that she’d know it anywhere.

Soulmates.

The confirmation is dizzying all over again.  It’s one thing to know she has a soulmate out in the universe in theory, or even to suspect that Miss Luthor is her soulmate.  It’s another to have the proof in front of her.

She’s still staring, just ogling Miss Luthor’s wrist which is probably weird.  But then again this is it.  Her soulmate.  Right here.

Should she say something?  

What would she even say?

It’s not like anyone else knows that soulmates are a real thing.

Kara bites her lip, still trying to figure out if she should say something.  But then Miss Luthor and Clark finish up and Miss Luthor bids them goodbye.

Kara stares hard in her eyes for any sense of recognition.  There’s a faint interest that the other woman is masking, but that’s the extent of it.  A spark of attraction sizzles through her veins so strong she almost shudders.  Miss Luthor probably feels it too.  But it isn't the connection that soulmates on Krypton had.

Kara bites her lip as she leaves.

She keeps quiet as she and Clark continue their investigation.  She desperately hopes her soulmate isn't up to anything shady, but there's no way to tell for sure.  She can't read her mind.  She feels so deeply in her bones that Miss Luthor isn't up to anything, but a mere feeling won't convince Clark that a Luthor isn't up to anything.  

And she’s still not sure what to tell Miss Luthor.

She's almost relieved when they figure out Miss Luthor--”Lena; call me Lena”--is the target and not the perpetrator, but then Lena’s bullheadedness rears its head and Kara wants to shake her pretty little head.  

And she’s still not sure what to tell her.

She's in the middle of a fight when she feels Lena’s hammering heartbeat.  Lena's in danger.  She's sure of it.  

She's not quite sure how she knows, but it feels like she knows Lena’s emotions.  Can sense them.

She wants to go to her, but she's tied up and she can't--

She leaves as soon as she's able and almost cries with relief that the two most important people in her life have somehow kept each other safe.  Alex has saved Lena and Lena has saved Alex.  Thank Rao because she’s not quite sure what she would’ve done without either of them.

Even though she’s only known Lena for a few days.

She's emotional and not thinking straight and Lena would probably be weirded out by a virtual stranger blubbering over her so she leaves as soon as she can comfortably excuse herself.  Lena.  Her Lena.  

She twitches with the want to hold her.  

But she can't.  Because Lena doesn't know what they are to each other.  

Not yet.  

***

She wants to talk to Lena after, but she doesn’t know what to say and two days turn to three and then four.  There doesn’t seem like a good time to address it and now it’s too late.  She can’t just… pop in for no reason.  Lena’s a busy CEO.  And Kara’s lost her excuse.

And then it seems like she’s always busy dealing with something else and Alex comes out to her and she realizes she’s spent so much time monopolizing Alex over her potential relationship, that she’s completely missed this about the most important person in her life.  Does a soulmate take precedence?  She doesn’t even know.

How is she in any way equipped to deal with a soulmate when she can’t manage her relationship with her sister?  How on Krypton is she supposed to love a soulmate the way they’re supposed to be loved--the way Lena deserves to be loved--if she’s not attentive enough to Alex to see she’s been struggling with this?

Alex is so afraid to tell her that she likes girls and Kara doesn’t know what to tell her.  If she tells her about Lena does that somehow take away from Alex’s own revelation?  Is she just stealing the limelight from her sister again?

Besides that, it feels particularly insensitive to talk about how she has a guaranteed soulmate when Alex’s love life has just been torpedoed.

She makes a split decision and decides keeping her mouth shut is the lesser of two evils.

She’s been keeping her mouth shut to Lena.  What’s one more person?

She spends the next few weeks paying attention to Alex.  She doesn’t know what to say to Lena anyway and her sister needs her right now.  Lena has no idea what they are to each other.  Her love life can wait for once.

***

Medusa is a whole whirlwind of emotions she’s not ready to deal with yet.  The prospect of Lillian Luthor out there terrifies her.

And then there’s Lena.  She doesn’t mean to sound accusing, really she doesn't.  But she’s been feeling off since the whole affair started and when she goes to confront Lena, she could feel her emotions welling up and driving her decidedly off-kilter.

It’s only as she’s flying away that she realizes--when pain hits her heart so acute it’s as if someone has grabbed it and is squeezing the life out of it.

Oh.

It’s the bond again.

And then she feels her own heart break again because she realizes the pain she just felt--that was Lena’s heart breaking.

***

She wants to hold Lena close after the events of Medusa, but it’s not Supergirl she’s close to.  It’s Kara.

And then Barry and Cisco show up and…

Kara feels another chance slip through her fingers.

***

It’s late one night that Alex finds her in her apartment in a less than ideal condition.  Kara considers hiding what she’s been up to.  But then, it’s not really worth the effort.  She’s no good at lying to Alex anyway.

It’s just that she’s spent weeks worrying about this Lena thing and it’s starting to eat away at her and she went into a minor panic spiral thinking about it earlier and now...

Kara's drowning her feelings the best way she knows how.  With a tub of ice cream.  

Alex takes one look at her setup and both hands find her hips.  Kara swallows, feeling like it's Alex and not her that has the x-ray vision.  

“Who broke your heart?”

Kara freezes, spoon halfway to her mouth.

Alex’s jaw drops open.

“Okay I was half joking.  Seriously. What's up?”

Kara bites her lip.

Alex raises an eyebrow as she walks in, dropping her bag and shedding her coat.  She snags a spoon and another tub of ice cream from the kitchen, toeing off her shoes so she glides across the floor in socks.

She nudges Kara over on the couch.

Kara greedily eyes the other tub and Alex rolls her eyes, swapping them as she digs into Kara’s half-finished container.

“So?”

“Remember how I told you I had a soulmate?”

“Sure.  Have you seen the light and decided you were going to go find him?”

Kara takes another bite, swallowing hard. And then in typical Kara fashion, she blurts it all out at once.  

“I kinda found my soulmate and it's kinda Lena Luthor.”

***

It takes...a little convincing.  Alex is more than a little skeptical especially because of Lena’s last name.

“You're sure the Luthors haven't just found a new way to get to you and Clark?”

“Why would they do this though?”

Alex throws up her hands, using her spoon to emphasize the point. “I don't understand half the crazy schemes Lex came up with. It's twisted enough to be him.”

“But how would he know?  Not even Clark knows!”

“Clark doesn't know?”

Kara worries her lip.  “I haven't exactly told him.  He was a baby when he left.  I think Lois is his though.”

“How do you know if Clark doesn't?”

“There are signs!  Like, did you ever wonder how Clark always knows when Lois is in danger?”

Alex purses her lips.  “So?”

Kara swallows another bite of ice cream.

“ So when Lena was in danger and you had to save her life, I could feel that!  I knew she was in danger; I could feel her heartbeat.”

“You have super hearing.  You can hear a lot of heartbeats.”

Kara shakes her head vigorously.  “No it's totally different.  I wasn't just hearing it.  I was feeling it.”

Kara squirms under Alex’s gaze, before rising to meet it.  In this, if nothing else, she has conviction.  

“Besides, Lena wouldn’t do that to me.”

“Well I don’t know!  How do you know the universe didn’t just choose wrong ?”

Kara blinks at Alex open-mouthed and horrified.  The idea that Rao would ever pick wrong it’s… more than unfathomable.  It’s offensive.  Rao’s choices on soulmates are never wrong.  

Alex seems to pick up on Kara’s emotions a beat later.

“Kara I didn’t…I--”

“No Alex,” Kara cuts her off with a pointed jab of her spoon.  “Maybe with someone else.  But you don’t get to doubt Lena.  She’s my soulmate.  And even if she wasn’t, she’s still my friend.  She doesn’t have to keep proving herself just because of who her family is.”

Alex thins her lips, narrows her eyes, and huffs.  Kara stares her down.

Finally, Alex breaks the staring contest with a little growl, muttering a quiet “I still don’t like this,”, shoving the ice cream at Kara, and getting up from the couch.  She's back a moment later with a bottle of whiskey.

“Where were you even keeping that?”

Alex shrugs. “Not important.”  She takes a generous swig straight from the bottle and uses her spoon to reach out and snag a bite of ice cream.

They sit in silence for a bit, both quietly eating ice cream.

It’s not not awkward.  But Kara supposes it could be worse.  

When both of their spoons reach for the same tub of ice cream, they find themselves enthusiastically dueling each other with spoons (“Kara don’t bend the spoons!  No super strength--hey super speed is cheating too!”), dissolving into giggles over their silliness.  They might be a superhero and a federal agent, but there’s something nice about being so comfortable that they can be silly like this.

Eventually, the giggles subside and they’re left with a much more companionable silence.  Kara takes a breath.  This is going to be okay.

Just then Alex shoots her a sly little smile.

“So you like girls too, huh?”

Kara pauses, caught with her spoon halfway to her mouth and squirms a little.  Alex waits patiently as Kara stares hard enough at her ice cream that she feels like it might melt, even without using her heat vision.  After a moment, she finds her voice.

“Is that okay?”

Alex blinks in confusion, taken aback by Kara’s question.  “Is that okay?  It’d be super confusing not to mention hypocritical of me to not be okay with that.”

Kara wrings her hands.  “I don’t want to step on your toes.  You just figured out this amazing thing about yourself and I don’t want to take away from that.”

Alex’s smile turns soft, eyes large and understanding.

“Kara it’s more than fine.  I’m glad to share this with you.”

“Really?”

Alex grins.  “Really.  Besides, I kept wondering what kind of man would be good enough for you.  Guess the answer is actually a woman.”

Kara feels the smile bloom on her face and she feels lighter than she’s felt in ages.  She has to glance down to make sure she’s not floating, a little surprised to find that she’s still on the couch.

Alex laughed.  “Okay but how long have you known?  Why did you keep letting me call your soulmate a man?”

“I wasn’t sure yet and I didn’t know how you’d take it!”

Alex gives her a smile and motions with her arm.  

“Come ‘ere you.”

Kara’s grin gets impossibly wider, and she slides under Alex’s arm.

“It’s kind of nice really,” Alex murmurs, “sometimes it feels like no matter how hard we try, there are some things we just can never share.  It’s nice to know this isn’t one of those things.  Like you might have an actual soulmate, but we can still share this one thing.  I dunno.”

Kara makes a noise of contentment.  She still has more than a few people to explain this to, not least Lena herself, but it’s nice to know she’s got Alex on her side.  Now if only it went this easily with Clark...

“Oh Rao!”

Alex looks up in alarm.  “What is it now?”

“How am I going to explain to Clark that Lena Luthor is my soulmate?”  

***

She doesn’t tell Clark.

***

Now that she’s told Alex and Alex is semi-settled with Maggie, Kara feels a little less bad about returning to focus on her own love life.

She’s still not sure what to tell Lena, but there’s this growing sense of urgency within her.  She feels like she needs to tell Lena.

It’s not fair to keep up this pretense of friendship when there’s this much bigger thing lurking in her mind.

It’s amazing though.

She knows logically that they’re soulmates.  But that doesn’t mean she isn’t surprised by how much she’s drawn to Lena.

She tells herself that Supergirl needs to check in because Lena is frequently subject to attacks and she’s merely doing her duty as a concerned superhero.  She definitely does not spend more time than necessary lingering in her office under the pretense of doing a sweep.  Just like she definitely does not spend more time hovering outside Lena’s office, listening to make sure all is well.  (Is that creepy?  Kara hopes not.)

And if Kara Danvers finds a need to get a quote from Lena for every article she writes... well.  Lena’s a public figure.  One of the most prominent in National City.  People are interested in what she has to say.  She only brings lunch because everyone is more compliant with food in their stomachs and anyway, if she doesn’t bring food, Lena often forgets to eat in the middle of the day.  And that’s just not good.

She can almost fool herself into thinking she’s just checking on Lena to make sure Lena’s taking care of herself.  When in reality, she just likes knowing Lena is healthy and happy.

She catches Lena working late at night when she’s on patrol as Supergirl and decides that too much work can’t be healthy for Lena.  Still, she knows which of her alter egos is more likely to be able to get Lena to do something, and it’s not the one with super strength.

As soon as she’s finished sweeping the city, she hustles back into normal clothes and pushes her way through the glass doors at the base of L-Corp.

Lena’s surprised to see her although she doesn’t let her face give away much.

“Lena!  What are you doing here so late?”

Lena glances up, her eyebrows shooting up in tandem.

“Kara?  What are you doing here?”

“I was… walking...yes!  I was walking home and saw that you were still in.  You need to take a break!  Whatever it is can wait till tomorrow.”

Lena’s lips twitch upwards as she surveys Kara.

“And how exactly could you tell I was in?”

Kara splutters.  Oh Rao she can’t just say she was flying by can she--oh!

“I saw the light from your office!”

Lena’s eyes are now crinkling with amusement and Rao she is pretty and the color of her top is really making her eyes pop…

“Really?  You could tell which office was mine from 50 floors down?”

“...yes?  I have great eyesight!”

Kara nervously moves a hand to adjust her glasses as Lena raises an eyebrow, pointedly staring at her glasses.  Kara hurriedly shoves her hands into her pockets.

“Anyway that’s not the point!”

Lena gives her a light laugh that Kara feels all the way down to her toes.  She resists the urge to blush.

“Well what is the point?”  Lena’s voice is at a drawl now and Kara’s sure she’s being teased but can’t bring herself to care.

“It’s late and you need to go home and get some rest.  Even CEOs need sleep!”

Lena’s eyes go soft with something like fondness and Kara feels like her whole body is suffused in a warm cradle of light--it’s almost like being back home on Krypton.

“And you thought you’d come get me and take me home?”

Kara nods enthusiastically, trying to ignore the way her heart skitters when Lena says the word ‘home.’  

“Yes if that’s what it takes!”

Lena smiles, standing and gathering her things.

“Well then Miss Danvers.  Take me home.”

The insinuation in Lena’s voice makes Kara’s mouth go dry as she wills herself to steady.  She wants… oh there are a lot of things she wants.  But not before she’s explained to Lena.

If Lena still believes her.  

If Lena still wants her.

***

One night when she brushes hands with Lena--showing up and making sure Lena bothered to leave the office is a habit now--she nearly snaps her hand back out of shock.  The electric current running between them is so strong it feels like it’s pulsing up her arm.  She side-eyes her arm for a moment longer.  

The feeling of a touch so strong is… unusual for her.  Other than when Kryptonite blows out her powers she gets to feel so little.  Her brain comprehends that she feels things, but it’s muted.  

Pain is a terrible sensation, but sometimes she wishes she could feel just a little bit more.

Like the wind on her face on a brisk autumn morning or the cold, wet of the first snowfall.  She’s aware of them, but can’t experience the sensation the same way.  The first time she had ice cream when she blew her powers out was an absolute revelation.  The way humans feel is so bright and vivid and she misses it sometimes.

All of this is to say that when she brushes her hands against Lena’s and feels a sensation so strongly, it makes her irrationally happy.  It makes her feel a little more...normal.

Lena is also glancing between their hands, a curious expression on her face.  That makes Kara feel a little better.  Lena feels something even if it’s not what Kara feels.  

She has hope that she won’t end up alone.

Rao she really really really needs to tell Lena.

***

Kara is giddy for a solid 24 hours after waking up to find her own name scrawled across her palm.  It’s not purposeful like Lena’s notes usually are.  The writing is a little looser, almost casually doodled.  It’s a little smudged, as if Lena had realized what she was doing and started rubbing it off, only to be distracted by something more pressing.

That’s the final straw.  Something is clearly brewing in between them and Kara wants nothing more than to pursue it.

But she’s got to come clean first.

She knows there’s nothing more terrifying she’s ever done in her life, but she needs to woman up and tell Lena.

She can totally do this.

Maybe after a few stress potstickers.

***

“I have something I need to tell you.”

Kara’s nervous.  Scratch that.  She’s well beyond nervous and edging into straight-up terrified.  She doesn’t know how Lena’s going to react.  But she needs her to know.

Thankfully, Lena’s very presence is a balm on her soul.  The moment she’d stepped into the room, she felt like she was soaking up the light of earth’s sun, the intensity giving her the will power to do this, to make this leap.

Lena leans forward, her expression is open and comforting.  And then the last thing Kara expects comes out of her mouth.

“It’s alright Kara.  I already know.”

Kara splutters, eyes going wide.

“You already know?”

Lena nods, just the barest hint of a smile stretching her cheeks.

“Yes.  It wasn’t exactly difficult to figure out.”

“You’ve started to get ink too?!”

Lena’s brow furrows.  “Wait.  What are you talking about?”

“What are you talking about?”

They stare confusedly at each other for a beat before both of them open their mouths and two confessions come out simultaneously.

“You’re Supergirl.”

“We’re soulmates.”

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry--what?”

“Oh.  Erm.  The other one too.”  Kara flaps her hands awkwardly.  She definitely should have thought this through better.  But she’d been so focused on the soulmate thing that she’d kind of...completely forgotten about this other secret.  Okay not completely forgotten.  

Just...everyone else important in her life already knew.  So when her head had connected the dots about Lena being one of the most important people in her life, somehow everything got a little bit jumbled and well…

Right.  That was another thing she was supposed to tell Lena.  Oops.  

Lena raises an eyebrow and Kara awkwardly rushes out, “But we’re also sorta...soulmates?  We… we belong together.”

Lena blinks.  Then a small smile appears on her face.

“You know most people just say ‘will you go out with me?’  But I’m not opposed to your version either.”

“No.  We’re actually soulmates.”  Kara is at a loss to explain this.  Lena is normally so quick on the uptake.

Lena raises one perfectly sculpted eyebrow at her, lips pursing just a touch as she leans back in her chair.  

“How romantic of you.”

“No--well, yes obviously--but that’s not what I meant!”

“Well, what did you mean Kara?”

“I mean we are actual soulmates.”  Kara doesn’t know how to express herself better; English doesn’t have all the words Kryptonians do to express the concept and it feels so limiting, so helpless.  How does she explain a thing that just doesn’t exist on Earth?

“Really I’m flattered Kara.  But soulmates?  The idea that there is only one right person for you in all of space and time is frankly a little depressing.  How on earth are you ever to find them?”

Kara’s jaw drops open.  Of all the ways this could be going, she could hardly imagine a worse one.  Her soulmate doesn’t believe her.  Worse, her soulmate doesn’t even believe in soulmates .

“No I--they’re not depressing if there’s a way to find them!  And I did!  I found you!”

“Kara I--”  

Kara barrels past her.  “And they exist on Krypton.  Or they used to.” Kara flails a little helplessly.  How does she prove--her eye catches on her hand.  “See?  The things you’ve been writing on your hand keep showing up on mine.  Soulmates!”

She waves her hand triumphantly in front of Lena.

Lena leans forward, eyes widening as she catches sight of the familiar handwriting.  Her hand immediately flips upward so she can catch the identical writing on her hand, eyes flitting back and forth between the two.

Kara grins triumphantly.  There.  Now Lena can’t refute--

“Where did you get a picture of my hand before showing up here?”

“Wha--Lena no .”

Kara wrings her hands a moment.  “Here.  Write something on your hand.  Anything.”

Bemusedly, Lena pulls out a pen and begins slow careful loops.  Her eyes pop open as she sees the same loops of her name appearing on Kara’s hand.  

Lena Luthor .

“You weren’t lying,” Lena breathes, “they really do show up at the same time.”

“See?”  Kara’s so pleased that Lena’s finally getting it.  Lena leans forward to inspect Kara’s hand.

“That is amazing technology.  Is that native to Krypton?  I can think of a dozen fantastic things L-Corp could do with that just off the top of my head.  Medical alerts for the sick and elderly.  Stranger danger alerts for children.  Really Kara I know it’s alien tech, but think of all the good it could--”

“It’s not technology!”

Lena stops peering at Kara’s hand and glances up.  She shoots Kara a puzzled look.

“Kara of course it is.  Why else would you be showing it to me?  I promise I’ll personally make sure it’s used only for good purposes.  You can have final veto over all products if that makes you more comfortable.”

“I--” Kara flushes, “that sounds amazing and I’d help if I could, but I swear that it’s not technology.”

Lena blinks at her.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand then.”

Kara blows out a breath and scrunches up her nose.

“Kryptonians were...a little bit telepathic.  And we all had a soulmate?  It was an actual thing there.  And you’re kind of...mine.  It’s not a line I swear!”

Kara fidgets, adjusting her glasses so they sit higher on the bridge of her nose.  She bites her lip as she watches Lena turn this over in her mind.

Lena stares blankly at her.

“So you’re telling me...that soulmates exist, you have a soulmate, and it’s me?”

Kara nods enthusiastically.  “Yes exactly!”

Lena purses her lips.  “Forgive me Kara, but that sounds more than a little far-fetched.  One soulmate?  And why would I be your soulmate over someone--and I apologize for being indelicate--who was actually on Krypton?”

Kara splutters.  “You’ll believe I’m Supergirl, but not that we’re soulmates?”

Lena shrugs.  “I’ve seen Supergirl.  It’s not too big a leap to realize she’s you.  But soulmates?”

“It’s common on Krypton I swear.  Or… at least it was.”  She winces just thinking about it, and Lena reaches out to comfort her on instinct.

The sensation of Lena’s hand making touch with Kara’s skin sends a burst of warm heat through both of them, sizzling just beneath the skin.  Lena stares curiously.

“Is that your doing?”

Kara scratches her head.  “Not on purpose?”

Lena hums.

“Huh.  Makes sense for such an intellectual planet,” Lena murmurs.  And then even quieter, “I’ve always wanted to be able to use the force.”

Kara bursts out laughing and Lena colors.  

“It’s not quite the same,” Kara explains just as Lena mutters, “I forgot you could hear me.”

“You knew I was Supergirl!”

Lena shrugs helplessly.  “Knowing that you two are the same isn’t quite the same as internalizing it.  Sometimes you’re Kara Danvers, mild-mannered adorable journalist.  And other times you’re Supergirl.  I know rationally you’re the same, but you do a good job of maintaining the distinction.  Who really are you?”

Kara bites her lip and extends a hand.  

“Nice to meet you.  I’m Kara Zor-El.”

***

Kara is sitting on her couch shoveling potstickers into her mouth like the world is going to announce a shortage of them tomorrow as she dutifully watches Buffy stake a vampire on screen.

“Can you believe--”

“Kara that’s gross chew and swallow .”

Kara dutifully does as instructed.  Head bobbing slightly as she exaggerates the swallowing motion.  Alex rolls her eyes.

“Can you believe it’s been 20 years since this show first aired?”

Alex smirks at her.

“Yes I can believe that because I remember watching it and you are avoiding .”

Kara shoots her a mock offended look.

“I’m not avoiding!  What avoiding?  I avoid nothing.”

Alex just shoots her a look and Kara slumps a little in her seat.

“I still think the Buffy thing is worth mentioning…” she mumbles.

Alex waves her hand.  “Buffy can wait.  Your soulmate is more important.”

Kara twists her expression into one of mock outrage. “Buffy can wait?  Buffy can wait?!  Where was this attitude when you made me marathon the sixth season a night before my test?”

“Please we both knew you didn’t need to study--”

“Where was this attitude when you had a meltdown over Tara?  Actually come to think of it that makes a lot of sense now--”

“Shut up I was young and emotional!”

“Where was this attitude--”

“Alright alright ,” Alex cuts her off.  “I get it.  I was a little hardcore about my Buffy obsession.  But I’ve got it under control now.”

“Alex you get mad if we don’t do a full series rewatch every year.”

“It is a modern day masterpiece ; people do scholarly research on it--you know what that’s not even the point.”

Alex points her finger threateningly at Kara.  “You’re just trying to use Buffy to distract me from my question!  What’s up with you and the littlest Luthor?”

Kara huffs out a small breath of air, watching as a small tuft of hair flutters up from her forehead, before settling back down.

“Nothing’s up,” she grumbles.

Alex raises an eyebrow.  “Nothing, really?”

Kara shrugs her shoulders.  “She said she likes me, but it’s a lot to process.  Which I get.  So I’m giving her space.”

As if on cue, her cell phone lights up on the table.  Kara hesitates for a moment before snatching it up, unlocking it and skimming the text.  She groans and slumps.

“Not Lena?” Alex asks sympathetically.

“Nothing,” Kara grumbles.  “I know it’s only two days, but she’s stopped even writing on her hand.  It’s weird .  I know it’s weird to be attached to handwriting, but I got so used to seeing it everyday.”

Kara doesn't mention the other thing.  That her whole being feels off being away from Lena, knowing they’re not quite right.  She doesn’t need Alex to resent Lena for something that isn’t even Lena’s fault, that Lena doesn’t even know she’s doing to her.

It doesn’t help her mood though.

Alex rubs her shoulder sympathetically.  “She’ll come around eventually.”

Kara sighs.

“I know.  I just wish eventually was now .”

***

Let’s talk.  Dinner tonight?

3 days of radio silence and the first thing she gets from Lena is this.  She doesn’t know how long it’s been there because she’s been avoiding looking at her hand--okay it made her a little sad to see it bare so sue her--but now the writing is undeniably back.  

Really Lena could’ve texted.  She didn’t have to brand it into her hand.

Then again, it is the most efficient way to reach her.  And if nothing else, it means Lena’s coming around to just what all of this means.

Kara bites her lip and texts Lena back.

Yes .

***

When she gets to the restaurant, Lena is already inside, twisting her hands nervously on the table, biting her lip, and staring down at the table like she’s suddenly gained the ability to see through it.

Kara steps inside and something inside her calms at being in the same room as Lena.  She clears her throat as she approaches.

Lena doesn’t visibly react, but Kara hears her heartbeat quicken.  Kara gives her her most reassuring smile.  Lena hesitantly returns it.

They make their way through pleasantries and place their orders.  (Lena pins Kara with a look when Kara only orders a General Tso’s Chicken.  Rather than call her on it, Lena calmly orders her beef with broccoli and another three servings of potstickers after that.  The waiter is kind enough not to react.)

“So…” Kara starts, unsure of how to proceed.

Lena takes a deep breath.

“You’re going to need to teach me how to do this.”

Kara blinks at her, but Lena barrels on, not quite looking Kara in the eye.

“Lord knows I’m terrible at relationships to begin with, but this is completely out of the realm of anything I’ve ever dealt with so I’m going to need you to teach me how not to screw it up.”

Kara reaches across the table, capturing one of Lena’s slightly twitching hands in hers.

“Lena,” she interrupts, “you’re not going to screw it up.”

“But what if I do?”  Lena’s eyes flit up, and in an instant, Kara sees her completely laid bare, all the worry, the fear, the anticipation of disappointment.

“Lena,” she says softly, speaking to her like she’s speak to a skittish animal, “you can’t screw this up.  The fact that we’re soulmates means you won’t.”

“It always worked out?  There wasn’t a single case of it not working out?  Surely you don’t have much data on human-Kryptonian combinations.”

“Well, no.  But--”

“So how do you know I won’t screw it up?”

Kara reaches out a hand hesitantly to bring Lena’s head up, where it’s dipped again.

“You might screw up.  I might screw up.  We might both screw up.  But you’ll never screw up badly enough that I won’t want to try and make it work.  I know you Lena.  Don’t hide behind this.  Just let me try .”

Lena takes in a shuddery breath.  “Okay.  I need you to take is slow with me.  But we can try.”

***

Kara catches Alex coming out of Lena’s office one day when she’s due to meet Lena for lunch.

“Alex?  What are you doing here?”

Alex shrugs as she walks past Kara.

“Your girlfriend is alright.  She can come to game night.”

Kara’s brow furrows.  “Alex what did you do?  Alex?”

But then the elevator doors are closing and she can’t speed in there without Jess noticing and dang it.

She texts Alex ???? but Alex doesn’t respond.  

Huffing a little at Alex’s crypticness, she wanders into Lena’s office.

“Um, what was that?”

Lena glances up and smiles wryly.  “I do believe your sister just gave me the shovel talk.”

“The shovel…”

“You know, hurt her and I’ll dig your grave myself.  That kind of thing,” Lena waves a hand dismissively.

Kara whips her head around as if she can see Alex, but Alex is far enough away now that even Supergirl’s x-ray vision can’t spot her.  She huffs and turns back to Lena.

“I’ll talk to her.”

Lena shakes her head.  “No need.  Besides, we’re fine.  We understand one another.  Honestly, I think it’s rather sweet that she still comes to threaten me when we both know that you’re more than capable of throwing me off the planet if you wanted.”

“I would never throw you off the planet!”

Lena laughs.  “I know you wouldn’t.  But still.”

Lena genuinely doesn’t seem bothered so Kara smiles, trying to make light of the situation.

“So should I be expecting the talk too?”

Lena shrugs.  “From who?”

Kara’s jaw nearly drops, but she clenches it shut so fast she can feel her teeth clack together in her skull.

“Lena…”

Lena sighs.  “Please don’t.  I’d rather we not spoil lunch with you pitying me.”

Kara clenches her jaw and nods, feeling her heart physically ache with how much Lena has suffered.  She moves around Lena’s desk and offers her hand to help Lena stand.  As soon as she’s standing, Kara pulls her in close to wrap her in a fierce hug.

It takes a moment, but Lena relaxes into the hug, going soft and pliant in her arms.  

Kara doesn’t know how to vocalize all the things she’s feeling and all the ways she wants to protect Lena from the way the world has treated her without Lena thinking it’s pity.  Still, one thought does come brimming to the surface, spilling out of her lips in a low, forceful tone.

“If anyone ever hurts you, they answer to me now.”

***

She’s patrolling the city when she feels the waves of sadness roll over her, drenching her in an undeniable blue .  Lena.

She flies towards Lena’s apartment, listening for that steady thump-thump-thump of Lena’s heart.  

The closer she flies, the more the despair seems to surface until she’s practically drowning in it by the time she lands.

She peers inside where Lena’s dressed casually, slumped on the couch with a glass of whiskey in one hand and her head in the other.  There’s a bottle of fairly expensive scotch sitting half empty on the table in front of her.

Tentatively, Kara knocks.

Lena glances up, a hand automatically going to scrub her face.  She gets up and opens the window and Kara flies in.

“What--what are you doing here?”

“You were sad,” Kara replies simply.

“How did you--oh.”  It takes Lena a moment, but she quickly realizes the bond.  “That’s… new.  I don’t know how I feel about you always knowing my emotional state.”

Kara winces.  “If it makes you feel better, it’s not all the time.  Just when you’re feeling something really strongly?  And it’s easier to tell when you’re closer.”

Lena sighs.  “I suppose it’s not like you can help it.”

“I’m sorry.  We can--we can work on some exercises so you can put up mental blocks if you want.”

Lena nods, but she’s already far away, lost in her own emotions.

“Sometimes I feel...so alone.  I realized that I don’t have anyone I can talk about this...this bond thing.  No one I can trust.  Lex is gone and you’re already implicated and...building walls keeps people from hurting you, but it also keeps them from helping,” Lena muses.

Lena gives Kara a look that she thinks she shouldn’t be able to decipher.  But as good as Lena’s poker face might be, their soulmate bond means that Kara is still reading her emotions like an open book.

So when the lone tear tracks down Lena’s face, Kara reaches in to brush it away, and then pulls Lena in for a hug.

“You’re not alone Lena.  You’ll always have me.  You’ll never be alone again.”

Lena collapses into her.  She’s not sobbing.  Not really.  Just the slight shaking of her shoulders gives her away and Kara frowns wondering how many times Lena has done this--suppressed her crying so that others wouldn’t see.  

But it’s okay because Kara can feel that through the overwhelming curtain of loneliness, the relief shining through, blasting holes through Lena’s years of grief so the tendrils of warm happiness can poke their way through.

***

“Was it strange?” Lena asks one night as they’re sitting in her office, cartons of takeout food around them.  It’s another late night working for Lena and Kara has started working on her articles at L Corp if she’s still got work at night, just so they can sit together for a few hours.

Kara pauses, a forkful of lo mein halfway to her mouth.  “Was what strange?”

“Realizing that you had a soulmate after all this time?”

Kara tilts her head, considering.  “I mean I wasn’t quite sure what the writing was at first.  But yeah.  After I figured it out...it was like finding out that there was another piece of home out there.  Krypton might be gone, but something survived.  It was...comforting.”

“Was it hard knowing you had a soulmate out there but not being able to reach them?”

Kara laughed lightly.  “Actually that was the easy part.  When you were just a vague concept, I could just take comfort in the fact that you existed.  It was only after we met that it was hard to be away.”

“What do you mean?”

Kara took another bite of lo mein and reached for the fried rice.  “Well I mean,” she swallowed, “we’re mentally connected but the connection is stronger on my side.  So if I didn’t see you for a few days or if we weren’t in a great place, I’d feel off.”

“Wait those days I was away from you, I was hurting you?”

“It’s not your fault!” Kara rushes to reassure her.  “And it wasn’t like hurt .  Just like everything had gone a little fuzzy.”

Lena is looking at her with a horror that Kara can now feel too and she tries to send reassuring waves back towards her.

Lena looks slightly mollified.  “That’s such an odd feeling,” she murmurs.

“Odd good?  Or odd bad?”

Lena tilts her head, considering.  “Odd good I think.”  She spends another moment considering and Kara takes the opportunity to send another burst of soothing waves towards Lena.

Lena startles and then laughs.  “That’s cheating,” she accuses Kara.

Kara holds up her hands innocently.

Lena sighs.  “Please don’t do it again.”

Kara is about to protest when Lena clarifies.

“Don’t keep it from me when I’m hurting you just to spare me.  I don’t want you to hurt either.”

Kara nods.

“I can do that.”

They sit in comfortable silence for a few moments, both quietly reveling in the comfort of each other’s presence while finishing their Chinese food.

After they’ve wrapped up, Kara helps Lena clear the table and then Lena mischievously presses a panel in her office and a fridge door pops open.

She turns, one eyebrow raised, and a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

“Ice cream?”

Kara’s face lights up.  “Yes!”

Lena laughs at Kara’s enthusiasm and pulls a couple cartons out of the freezer.

“Have you had this the whole time?  You’ve been holding out on me!” Kara accuses.

Lena laughs again.  “I only just had it installed relax.  The last time L Corp was attacked I took the opportunity for a remodel.  I thought you might appreciate the fridge.”

Kara sighs happily.  “You’re the best.”

“And you’re easy to please,” Lena shoots back.

Kara shrugs, unrepentant, happily digging into a carton.

It’s only after they’ve been sitting for a while that Lena voices the question that’s been niggling the back of her throat since Kara brought it up.

“Do you think about Krypton often?”

Kara’s whole body stills.  Lena hadn’t thought about it until she stills, but Kara is often moving, fidgeting, vibrating with too much energy to be totally still.  But she does for a moment and Lena almost regrets the question.

Kara’s voice, when it comes, is soft.

“Every day.  I have to.  Clark was a baby so he doesn’t really remember.  If I forget, there will be no one else to remember.”

Lena shuffles a little closer.

“I know it’s not quite the same, but if you want to talk about it, I’d love to hear.”

Kara blinks at her, seemingly confused.

Lena elaborates, “Kara I want to know you and where you came from.  You don’t have to bear that burden alone.  I’d be happy to try to help you remember.”

Kara’s eyes turn soft.  “I’d like that.”

Lena smiles, pleased with their progress.

Kara curls into Lena, sighing happily, “you don’t even know how much you already help.”

Lena hums, acknowledging her statement and Kara continues.

“Just having you, having the soulmate bond.  It’s like they’re not really gone.  Rao’s light lives on through you.  Through us.”

***

Lena has taken to drawing on her arm.  Nothing large or obtrusive.  They both have day jobs to attend to.

But silly little smiley faces or hearts or other little things that Kara sees and smiles at because she knows it means Lena is thinking of her.

One time after their lunch date gets cut short from Kara rambling about how terrible Snapper is because of a Supergirl incident, Kara gets back to her office to find a little doodle of a stick figure Supergirl and Lena’s elegant scrawl underneath.

Supergirl can do anything.

And so can Kara Danvers.

Kara beams for the rest of the day.

***

“I think my parents would’ve approved of our match.”

Lena startles from where she’s been sitting, jostling Kara a little because Kara had had her head in Lena’s lap.

Kara turns and pouts at Lena and Lena quickly resumes carding her fingers through Kara’s hair.

Kara sighs happily at the feeling.  

It’s one of their favorite positions.  They’d quickly discovered that as much as Kara likes lying on Lena, she’s completely solid muscle and even though Lena’s always too polite to say so, letting Kara nap on her always results in Lena being in mild pain after a while.  

They’ve done the other way with Lena napping on Kara, but Lena’s mind is always active and needing to do things and she gets squirmy too quickly for Kara’s tastes.  

Kara, on the other hand, needs to lie down.  She’s usually run ragged between doing whatever Snapper has asked of her and keeping up with superhero duties, so the ability to just lie down and do nothing is a relief.  Besides that, vegetating while binge-watching a tv show is an art form that the Danvers sisters have perfected and Kara is proud of her couch potato prowess.

This position is a compromise.  

It satisfies both their needs for constant touch and Lena can still sit up and do work.  If Kara’s feeling more awake, they can turn the tv on and let her watch something mindless.

The petting thing is a bit of a new habit.  Lena had done it once, absentmindedly, while reading some long and boring looking file the head of her engineering department had sent over.  And Kara had practically melted into her lap, limbs going loose and languid, unable to keep from humming in content.

If Kara’s had a particularly long day, sometimes she just arches into Lena’s hand and Lena laughs softly at her.

“I’ve never had a pet before, but I guess I’ll never need to with you around,” she teases.

Kara would retort, but the feeling of Lena’s hands softly scratching at her head causes a fuzziness in the best way and she’s far too content to keep up the pretense of an argument.

Only now that fuzziness isn’t serving her well.  The fuzziness is cut through by the shock that ripples through Lena’s emotions and spills over into hers.

Kara blinks her eyes open slowly, to find Lena’s eyes large and confused above her.

What had she said?

Oh.

“They would have Lena.  Kryptonians considered a match good based on how intelligent the bondmate was.  And even when you try and hide it, I know you’re a genius.”

Lena blinks again, a little crinkle appearing between her brows--Kara wonders if hers is as adorable as Lena’s because wow that crinkle is cute--as if the thought of being any parent’s idea of a good match for their kid is utterly foreign to her.  Kara’s heart drops for a moment as she remembers the way Lillian treated Lena.

Her hand comes up to stroke Lena’s face, bring her back to Kara from where she’s already spiralling into dark thoughts.

“Lena.  You’d be an incredible match for anyone.  Anyone would be lucky to have you.  And you’re perfect for me.”

***

“Okay close your eyes and feel me.”

“Kara we’re literally holding hands of course I can feel you.”

“Not so literally!  With your mind.  Reach for me.  I know you can do it.”

Lena’s hesitant, but she trusts Kara implicitly.  She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.  But it’s hard.  Her mind is a whirling mess and she can smell Kara and feel the warmth of her hands and Kara believes in her and never has Lena wanted more than to be up to this task but for once in her life she’s come up against a problem that she doesn’t know how to solve.

Lena huffs.  “I just feel silly.”

“Nooo,” Kara squeezes Lena’s hands a little, just as a show of support.  “You can do it.  Please try?  For me?”

And it’s really unfair when Kara asks her to do things with that puppy dog look because Lena thinks someone would truly have to be heartless to deny it (so maybe her mother could?  Lena shakes that thought from her head).  She sighs and closes her eyes, mind flickering back to that meditation class she once took in college.

She breathes in and empties her mind, focusing only on her breathing.  Slowly, she expands, letting her mind trickle only to her hands and their connection with Kara.  She lingers there for a while, ruminating on Kara’s hands and her connection to Kara.

Kara is such a solid presence in her life, radiates such a specific aura that Lena always seems to be able to pick out that--

Lena gasps and the connection is broken.

Kara is practically bouncing where she sits, grinning ear to ear.

“I felt that!” she says gleefully.  “Lena you’re a genius.  I can’t believe you managed that so quickly!”

Lena can’t help but return Kara’s smile, something rising in her at the pride in Kara’s voice.  Somehow it makes her feel more worthy than every other accolade she’s ever received:  every Dean’s List she’s ever made, every 30 under 30 list she’s been on, every hot 100 list she’s managed.  And she’s utterly determined to hear it again.

“Let’s try it again.  I feel like I know what to look for now.”

Kara beams at her and Lena smiles back.

And Kara feels herself growing more... stable is not the right word.  More herself .  Her true self.  Having the bond out in the open like this steadies her.

It’s not quite there yet, still feels a little fuzzy, a little staticky.  But as they work on it, the noise fades out and the interference lessens.

And as the bond between them strengthens (both literally and figuratively), Kara can’t help the warm feeling that shoots through her at just how incredible Lena is for picking up what is generally years of Kryptonian mental exercise nearly effortlessly.  She is so proud that Rao deemed her worthy of this woman.

***

Since that afternoon, they’ve been working on building up their mental strength.  Lena can sense Kara’s emotions when they’re in the same room now, without any need for touch.

And Kara is over the moon.

Or at least she thinks she is.

But then Lena takes her out on a date one afternoon.  And because she is Lena Luthor and sometimes Kara cannot even comprehend how wealthy she is sometimes, Lena directs Kara to fly them to her private island (“Lena why on earth would we take a plane when I can just fly us?”).  Lena claims it’s not that big of an island, but that doesn’t stop Kara from being mind boggled at the fact that Lena owns an island .  

But Lena smiles and says, “it was more than worth the purchase price if it gives you some place where you can just be Kara Zor-El without needing to be Kara Danvers or Supergirl,” and Kara just melts.

Kara floats them everywhere, letting them drift comfortably with the direction of the wind, sighing happily.  She doesn’t often get to do this, just fly slowly without purpose.

When she’s Supergirl, she’s usually racing to find something.  But there’s something so freeing about just hovering off the ground, letting her body escape gravity.  And as she floats, drifting through the wind on her back, the comforting weight of Lena sprawled on top of her makes her giddy and she lets herself just revel in the feeling.

Kara absolutely abuses her powers, creating a mini winter wonderland with her freeze breath one moment and lighting a bonfire with her laser vision the next.

And through it all there is Lena.  Not anchoring her to earth, but cracking the world wide open so that the sky is the limit.

She’s sad when they have to go, but Lena reassures her they can come back anytime she likes.

“Or even if I can’t come, what’s mine is yours Kara.”

Kara can’t imagine wanting to come here without Lena, but the statement warms her heart.  

The day is perfect and she opens her mouth to say so.

Only to be cut off because Lena leans in and kisses her.  Lena kisses her and she tastes like sunshine and Rao’s light and all the good things in her.

Because Lena kisses her and everything Kara didn’t know she was missing aligns and maybe Krypton is still gone, but she feels her people alive and well in their bond.

Because Lena kisses her and the joy bubbling up between them seems to echo forth, Lena’s joy magnifying Kara’s and vice versa.  It’s an echo chamber of happiness and Kara doesn’t know if it’s physically possible to explode with happiness, but her body is doing it’s absolute best.

Lena pulls back shakily.  It seems like she too doesn’t quite know how to handle the emotions that are overflowing between the two of them, the dazed smile mirroring Kara’s own.

“That was--”

“Perfect,” Kara finishes.

Lena’s smile widens even further, threatening to crack her face open and Kara can’t see her own, but she’s pretty sure she’s never smiled this wide in her life.  It almost physically hurts , but she can’t help it.

She wants to shout from the top of rooftops; she wants to do loop-de-loops in the sky; she wants to cry with sheer joy simply for want of an outlet.

But oh--there’s a simpler solution.

And so she takes it, leaning back in and capturing Lena’s lips once more, sending her joy and her love through to Lena, and nearly combusting when she feels it echoed back to her.

This.  

This is everything.

This is love and light and hope.

This is home .

And the House of El feels again like less of a burden and more of a promise.

El mayarah.

Stronger together.