Chapter Text
Harvey looks down at his paper cup. He hasn’t been able to bring it to his lips yet, he doesn’t want coffee, he doesn’t want to be here at all. He hasn’t touched his bagel either, all he’s been doing for the last 15 minutes since they settled in that café is tear apart his napkin, little bit by little bit.
Mike has been uncharacteristically quiet since they left home, and now he’s sitting here, his eyes fixed on the tarmac stretching out in the early morning lights outside the glass wall. His coffee cup seems empty and he wolfed down his bagel as soon as it was paid for.
One hour.
That’s all they’ve got until Mike has to board on that plane, which is going to take him far, far, too far away from Harvey. Harvey’s known this day was going to happen for about 2 months, when Mike announced he had made up his mind about Dr. d’Alliet’s offer. He’s known for two whole sunny and warm months that Mike was going to leave on September 15th, but, as he looks at the anxious-looking young man across the table, Harvey realizes that he had hoped Mike would change his mind. That every single summer day spent with Harvey doing fun things, having awesome sex, creating unforgettable memories, that all of that would make Mike want to reconsider his decision.
One hour.
Mike finally tears his eyes off the tarmac and turns to Harvey, mouth open like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t say anything. He just inhales deeply before exhaling shakily, his eyes never leaving Harvey’s.
“Say something,” he eventually whispers, placing a hand on top of Harvey’s busy hands, stopping the napkin shredding.
Harvey sighs and gently takes his hands away before bringing his coffee cup to his lips. Mike is excited, sad, anxious, scared, and Harvey doesn’t know what to say to make all of these feelings go away. Okay, maybe not the excitement. Harvey hates the idea of Mike going away with every fiber of his body, but Mike has the right to be excited about flying to Paris. It’s his first time on a plane and Harvey knows he’s also terribly anxious about that. Excited also, but mostly anxious about that part of the trip.
“Don’t go?” Harvey offers with a sheepish smile.
“Please…” Mike’s tense shoulders slump and he sighs again.
They’ve talked about it. 3 months. One trimester. That’s the option Mike chose. And not because Harvey told him he would rather him not accept Dr. d’Alliet’s offer, Harvey made sure of that. Mike assured him that he had weighed all his options, talked some more about it with Dr. d’Alliet and finally decided that, though he couldn’t see himself go abroad for 4 years, he couldn’t let this great opportunity pass him by. Three months is a long time, especially compared to the 5 months Harvey and him have been dating, but it’s manageable. And though Harvey said he didn’t agree with Mike’s decision, he said that he respected it.
“Anything but that…” Mike pleads. “We talked about it.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” Harvey replies and looks away.
He promised Mike to not try to convince him to stay, to not make his departure harder, he promised to support him and to wait for him. Wait for him. It hurt Harvey’s feelings when Mike asked him that, his eyes big with worry, as if, despite his efforts to prove his commitment to Mike, the young man still doubted him, still feared Harvey might want someone else.
“You’re going to love it up there,” Harvey looks at Mike with a smile. “Above the clouds, where it’s always sunny.”
“I’ll call you as soon as I land,” Mike smiles back.
“Don’t think about me. Think about everything you want to do and experience during your time there, okay?”
“You know I won’t be able to not think about you,” Mike rolls his eyes with a smile.
“Good answer,” Harvey chuckles. “Seriously, though, 3 months is not such a long time, you know? It passes by very quickly, especially when you’re having fun, so try to enjoy it to the fullest, okay?”
Mike nods and swallows thickly.
They remain silent for a while, looking out the glass wall, watching the sun rising above the horizon. It’s a beautiful view and Harvey would normally appreciate it, enjoy it. Not this morning though, maybe never again until Mike comes back, and the higher the sun rises in the sky, the tighter Harvey’s stomach gets.
“I, uh,” Mike breaks the silence and clears his throat. “I’m going to go, okay? You stay here, drink your coffee and… let’s say our goodbyes here, quickly, then I’ll go to where I’m supposed to and you stay here and drink your coffee, okay?”
Harvey hates goodbyes and long hugs and too many feelings being expressed, so Mike’s offer sounds good, or at least it should.
“You don’t even know where you’re supposed to go,” he gets up and grabs his coat. “I’m going with you.”
“I’ll ask, I have time,” Mike replies. “Please, Harvey,” he adds in a whisper, “Let me go.”
Harvey’s heart all but explodes in his chest, but he does a bang up job of hiding it, he even manages a tight smile.
“Alright”, he sighs and opens his arms, and Mike’s instantly pressed against him, hugging him tight.
“I’m going to miss you…” Mike sobs. “I love you. Thank you.”
“Thank you for what?” Harvey asks with a chuckle that barely passes his tight throat.
“For letting me go,” Mike replies and breaks the embrace.
Harvey shakes his head with a smile and pulls Mike to him again.
“I love you, baby…” he says, almost whispering into Mike’s ear. “Be good.”
“I will,” Mike nods and he presses a kiss on Harvey’s neck. “You stay here, right?”
“Yes, but you better go now before I change my mind,” Harvey replies.
“Goodbye,” Mike looks up, his eyes filled with tears.
“Bye, baby,” Harvey smiles again and he pulls Mike into a deep kiss.
3 months. One trimester. 90 days without Mike’s kisses and hugs and silly tantrums, without Mike’s smile and laugh and loving touch.
He promised to not make it harder, and Mike’s already crying and sobbing, so when they break the kiss, Harvey sits back down and waves sadly. Mike wipes his nose and eyes with his sleeve and he takes a deep, yet sharp, intake of breath before grabbing his hand baggage and walking away from the café.
When Mike’s out of sight, Harvey slumps back in his chair and closes his eyes. That’s it, Mike’s gone. His apartment is going to look and sound terribly empty now, because though Mike moved in Harvey’s old apartment a month ago, he spent all his nights at Harvey’s. They even went on a one-week vacation together in the Hamptons. If you had told Harvey a year ago, that he was going to meet someone he wasn’t going to get bored of, someone he would admire and want to protect, someone he would feel genuinely comfortable with, someone he’d want to spend all his free time with, and even want to take a week off work, he would have laughed his ass off. Because there was no way something like this existed and no way it would be for him.
“Attention all passengers. This is the boarding announcement for flight CD775 to Paris. We are now inviting passengers with small children and any passengers requiring special assistance to come forward and begin boarding first. Please proceed to gate B1.”
Harvey finishes his coffee and gets up. He can’t help a worried look towards the busy terminal, just in case, but he doesn’t spot Mike. He hopes he heard the announcement correctly and that he didn’t get lost and… his phone buzzes in his pocket and he smiles when he unlocks it. There’s a picture of Mike sitting in his seat on the plane and sticking out his tongue accompanied with a capitalized LOVE YOU. He replies with a selfie of the two of them at the beach and three lines of red heart emojis.
He walks out of the terminal and jumps in the first available cab, off to work. It’s pretty early, but he doesn’t want to go home yet, plus he’s got his hands full with the disaster Jessica left him alone to deal with when she left. Harvey’s managed to keep it rather quiet, working his ass off behind closed doors to reach a settlement, to get to the bottom of this whole incomprehensible lawsuit, and so far, it hasn’t affected the firm. He misses working with Jessica, he misses her support and, sometimes welcome, bossiness, it feels a lot lonelier now she’s gone. He’s been thinking about promoting Donna to name partner so he can have a new ally, but he’s not sure the other partners would approve, they’re all old misogynists, and without Jessica’s support, he can’t really see another woman ever becoming name partner, unless another Jessica shows up.
Donna has had some tough cases to handle in the last couple of months and she’s come out on top of each of them, her work impeccable. She must have sensed Harvey needed everybody to be extra autonomous and at the top of their game, because she clearly outdoes herself. She and Rachel have moved in together and they’re in the annoying honeymoon phase of their relationship, so Harvey usually invites Donna out for drinks and lets Mike do the same with Rachel. He still doesn’t like Rachel, it’s not like they have a lot in common, but he respects her and more importantly the work she’s been doing since she arrived at the firm. He’s also accepted that she is the most important person in Mike’s life, so that makes her an important person in Harvey’s life too.
The partner’s floor is very quiet when he arrives at the firm, coffee and bagel from the airport in his hands. He’s not ready to let go of them yet, he wants to hold on to them a bit longer, hold on to Mike a bit longer.
He sits at his desk and fires up his laptop. He won’t hear from Mike for another 7 or 8 hours, but that doesn’t mean he can’t still check up on him, so he opens Google and looks for a flight tracker.
“Hey”
He jumps and looks up to find Donna standing in the doorway, holding two coffee cups and a magazine.
“Hey,” he smiles sadly.
“I knew you’d be in early. How are you holding up?” she asks, walking in.
“He’s only been gone for one hour, ask me after lunch,” Harvey chuckles bitterly. “Thanks,” he adds, grabbing the hot beverage.
Donna takes a sit on the couch and starts flipping through her magazine. She just wants Harvey to know she’s here, doesn’t want to bother him with a million questions she already knows the answers to. She couldn’t believe he let Mike go when he announced it over one of the very first dinners at hers and Rachel’s new apartment. Oh she’s sure he didn’t give in without a fight, but still she finds him brave, she knows how hard it must have been for him to support Mike, to let him go. It’s not really surprising, now she thinks of it, Harvey’s changed so much since meeting Mike. Mike has brought the best out of him, something she knew was there all along. Her best friend is a changed man, he’s more confident, it’s not just a work façade now, he has more faith in people and in his abilities to cope with whatever curveball life throws at him, it shows in his demeanour and of course in his speech. He seems somewhat more at peace, despite what she knows is going on right now with the firm.
She also couldn’t believe Mike hadn’t told Rachel earlier, she learned about Mike’s decision during that dinner too. She later told Donna that she was really hurt that Mike didn’t tell her first, like he used to do, but that she understood that Harvey was there now.
As for her relationship with Rachel, nothing’s changed much since she arrived at the firm, they don’t work together, don’t have lunch together and basically don’t see each other all day, the associates working on a different floor. They’re still extra careful when coming in to work, for example, they make sure to not enter the building at the same time or that nobody sees them exiting together. Everything is really good with them at the moment, they’re living together, making projects… They went to Cuba for 3 weeks in the summer and had the time of their life, so she feels a little guilty, a little bad for Harvey who just said goodbye to his boyfriend. Something’s been bothering her since their trip too, she will need to talk to Rachel soon because it’s starting to stress her out, but she doesn’t know how to bring the subject up, she’s not even sure she should.
“Rachel’s birthday is next week, and I was thinking I could throw her a surprise party, what do you think?” she asks, looking up from her magazine.
“It’s fairly short notice, there’s a chance people won’t be free,” Harvey replies absentmindedly.
“I’ll ask Neal to show me this Facebook event thing,” she shrugs. “I want to party.”
Harvey hums and grabs one of the files he asked Ethan to retrieve from the archive. He’s close to getting the big picture on the lawsuit threatening the firm and he’s decided he wants this over with before Mike’s return. That’ll keep him (very) busy and it’s always easier to set a deadline, it keeps him focused. He wants his firm cleared of all accusations so he and the other partners can move on. Then they’ll have to decide on a new name, because “Specter” alone doesn’t work.
“Want to have dinner tonight?” Donna asks, folding her magazine.
“Where?”
“Our place?” she asks tentatively.
Harvey purses his lips and considers the proposal. The idea of not being alone tonight sounds appealing, but-
“Come on,” Donna insists. “Let’s get drunk and think about what you’re going to do while Mike is away.”
“Oh I know exactly what I’m going to do,” Harvey huffs and he points at the stack of files. “But okay, thank you, I’ll have dinner with you and Rachel.”
“Great,” Donna gets up and walks to the door. “Hey, I’m here,” she adds with a smile before walking back to her office.
Harvey spends the entire day on the phone and doing research. Ethan brings him a hotdog for lunch (which earns him a grateful smile and another 0 added to his bonus, but he doesn’t know that yet), Donna casually comes to check on him twice, and even Rachel walks past his office while he’s on a conference call with lawyers from the firm representing their unhappy clients, and she waves at him with a knowing smile. All in all it’s not such a crappy day and when 5pm rolls around, he realizes he hasn’t checked on Mike’s flight since lunch. He’s happy to read that the plane successfully landed in Paris at 8pm (Parisian time), 3 hours ago. He hasn’t heard from Mike, not even a text, so he logs on Facebook and sends him a quick message.
His phone rings seconds later.
“Hey,” Harvey answers and tries to not sound overly excited to finally speak to Mike.
“Sorryyyyy,” Mike sighs. “I wanted to call you earlier, but it took like an hour to get my luggage, and then Sylvie drove me to her house and then I met her kids and we had dinner and-“
“Mike,” Harvey cuts him and laughs. “It’s okay. How was the flight?”
“Amazing!” Mike replies and Harvey smiles, picturing the huge grin on Mike’s face. “Oh my god! I couldn’t sleep, I was too anxious, I didn’t even watch a movie, I spent the entire flight looking out the window.”
Harvey just smiles as it just finally kicks in: he’s not going to be able to see, or touch Mike in the next 3 months.
“Have you seen Paris yet?” he asks, his throat suddenly a bit tight.
“Yes! On our way back from the airport, Sylvie drove up the Champs-Elysées! She and her family live in a big-ass apartment two blocks from the Eiffel Tower, I can see it from my window!” Mike replies with such enthusiasm it makes Harvey feel a little better. “I can’t believe I’m here!”
“I’m happy for you,” Harvey nods to himself, as if to convince himself that he needs to be happy for Mike, not bitter, not sad, happy.
“How was your day? What time is it in New York?”
“It’s a little after 5,” Harvey replies. “I’ve been pretty busy. I’m having dinner with Donna and Rachel.”
“Good,” Mike says and pauses before sighing loudly.
“What is it?”
“I wish you were here…”
Harvey inhales deeply and swallows thickly. Oh how he wishes he were there with Mike too.
“We’ll go back together one day,” he says and pivots on his chair to look out the window. “And you can show me everything you’ve seen.”
“Yeah,” Mike sighs again.
“Come on,” Harvey schools him gently. “I’ve got to get back to work. And you need to get some rest before your first day of school. Call me whenever, okay?”
“Yes. Can I Skype you tonight when you’re with Rachel?”
“It’s going to be late for you, Mike…”
“I don’t care, please, I know I won’t sleep much anyway, I’m too excited”
“Okay, then,” Harvey shakes his head with a smile. “I’ll Skype you when I get there.”
“See you in a couple of hours, then!” Mike exclaims.
“Yes, and if you need to sleep, go sleep, okay? We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“No, I want to see you. And Rachel.”
“Fine,” Harvey chuckles. “See you later.”
“I love you.”
“Love you too,” Harvey replies before disconnecting the call.