Work Text:
Dinner?
Okay
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Do you want dinner?
Angelo’s?
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Should we go out for dinner?
Can we order in? I’m bit tired
Chinese?
Sounds lovely
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Dinner?
Not today. No.
Why?
I have a date
Oh.
Boring
Why today?
Because, Sherlock
How is it going?
Sherlock, dont text me I’m on a date
I suppose you are
Yes I am. Its going great.
No its not
Go f yourself
Figured who killed the speckled blonde
The speckled blonde?
Julia Stoner
Oh. I’m so calling the blog like that!
You would, wouldn't you?
Yes. Its perfect.
I need you to go with me to the stepfather.
Not now. Need to go.
Fine
John
I will be respectful
John
Answer
This is silly
Who is sulking now?
Ok, you should be home by now
Where are you?
Based on the time it takes you to eat two course dinner with a partner, while drinking wine and some fascinating small-talk (maybe not so fascinating in this case) the cab ride should have ended half an hour ago. You should be home.
Unless you decided to go elsewhere.
Highly unlikely, you would be slightly intoxicated at this point and in need of a lie down.
These boring things make you tired.
So where are you?
Are you at her apartment?
Are you spending the night?
Seriously, John, based on your stamina and exercise regime, while also taking into account some silly chit-chat before, you two should be done with intercourse right about now.
Ugh
Okay
Text me when you are free so I know nobody kidnaped you.
Jesus Sherlock! Nobody kidnapped me. She ditched me because I was texting so I went for a pint with some of my old friends.
Wait, did you deduce how long I eat based on our dinners?
And the length of intercourse? Really? Thats very generalized assumption.
You don't have old friends
I do. My old Rugby mates
They all hang out with you because of old time’s sake. There’s no emotional connection anymore.
How would you know?!
Don’t get angry. Come home. Stepfather. Need you.
Of course you do.
I do. Get on with it.
15 min.
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Dinner?
Mediterranean today. My treat
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Sherlock, what are those things in the fridge?
Its duck feet. Nevermind. I figured it out.
Why do we have duck feet in the fridge?
Experiment
Of course it is.
I expect it to be gone by tmrw morning. Need to get to the clinic now
Fine
Don’t sulk. Dinner today?
Yes
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Dinner?
Picking some on my way
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Is there any particular reason why there is five different shoes on our couch?
Case, John.
Ok. What do you want to eat?
No time. Case, John!
I can see that. So Italian?
You will not let this go, will you?
Italian it is
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We are out of milk
How would you know?
Wanted to make you tea today. There was no milk. Since you gone to Tesco's I'm texting you now so you won't forget.
Thats actually really... sweet?
Is that the word? I’m not good with words.
Clearly still astonishing that somebody reads your blog.
F off
Skimmed or semi?
Whichever you prefer.
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Remember that one time when you came home with that weird book?
I come home with lot of weird stuff. Which one?
The dream one
Yeah, it's somewhere under the 1987 Strand copies. Or it was. What's going on?
Why would you need a dream-interpretation book?
Mrs. Hudson has her girlfriends over. They are arguing about something, need to settle the quarrel.
Are you hanging out with these old gossips again?
Guilty as charged. They have scones and really good tea.
Leave me some when I get home.
Of course (not)
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Where are you? There are no scones left.
Pub. Greg says hi.
Who?
Sherlock! We talked about this
I will just say that you say hi back
I never said it.
Don't even push your luck. There are scones on your night table. But you didnt bother to go look there, did you?
Why would you put food into my bedroom?
To slightly nudge to sleep tonight. It's been 2 days
Good night, John.
Good night Sherlock
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I picked some muffins on my way from work. Kitchen table. Also did a bit of tidy-up. Try not to catch anything on fire until I get home.
Honestly, I'm offended.
You are also flammable
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Dinner?
Ok
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Pick me up around 7?
Will do.
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Dinner?
Yes.
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Did you eat today?
Yes.
Don't lie to me. Just came home. There's everything in the fridge just as I left it. And no take out boxes.
Good observation.
It doesn't take a Sherlock Holmes you know
Just finishing at Bart's.
I will be there in 30 min. Dinner
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John.
John?
John!
JOHN!
Call me.
Something happened.
CALL ME!
Murder John.
CALL-ME!!!
Still on a date?
Did you turn off your phone?
You would never.
Did you leave it at the back off the taxi again?
You can be the biggest slob sometimes. Good that I always pick it up.
John.
Seriously, this is exciting!
The victim did it this time.
John.
Are you reading these?
How is Sarah by the way?
Hope you are having a lovely evening while I'm here SOLVING A MURDER.
Or is it suicide?
Either way, I solved it.
Want to know how?
John!!!
Fine, I'm just going to call you.
Left you a voicemail. Call me when you get it.
And bring me a diner.
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Bringing home dinner.
Wow I should write this down somewhere
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Dinner in the fridge. Next to something that looks like snails in oil. Hope it's not.
It's burned tongues. Honestly John and you call yourself a doctor?
A what???!!!
Cow tongues.
Why?
Experiment.
Want them gone when I come home
Fine.
And dont sulk
Am not.
Sure
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This is embarrassing
It's a two, John.
Still embarrassing
Just get this wrapped.
Pun intended?
Don’t make sheet jokes on me
Another pun implied.
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Mycroft says he wants his ashtray back.
He what?
He said queens ashtray but you know...
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Dinner?
Yes.
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58
Why are you texting me from the other side of our room?
59
Stop looking at me like that.
Tell me when you get to 69
That is, honestly, so childish.
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How are you holding up?
Let's not talk about it.
I will be home soon
Ok.
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Lets have dinner.
Usual?
I don't care. Lets have dinner.
John...
Dinner, Sherlock. Don't get distracted.
Okay.
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I'm sorry.
Where did you run off?
There's giant hound on the lose.
Come back.
I hate this room without you.
John.
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Lets have dinner.
You have to stop doing that.
Doing what?
That.
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Lets have dinner
No.
Why?
Case.
Are you punishing me?
Maybe.
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Lets have dinner.
John!
Okay...
Dinner?
Please?
Angelo's?
You are paying.
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Lets have dinner.
I don't like it, do you get that?
What? Dinners, Sherlock?
The phrase.
Sure you don't.
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Dinner?
Yes!
No date?
No :)
It's been weeks. And honestly, John. Don't use emojis. It's putting me off.
Okay. Lets have dinner.
...
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Lets have dinner.
It stopped being funny a few texts away.
Not trying to be funny
Sure.
Honestly. I'm not!
Chinese.
Okay
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Lets have dinner
Sushi?
Okay
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Lets have dinner
There's that new spot in Soho I wanted to try.
Sure, why not
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Lets have dinner.
Your treat.
:)
Emojis!
Sorry
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Lets have dinner
Sure.
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Lets have dinner
Chinese.
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Lets have dinner
Order in please.
Lets have dinner
Fifteen.
What?
Fifteen texts.
Are you counting?
Every day.
Yes, yes I am.
Lets have dinner Sherlock
16. God, yes.
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How could you do this to me
I will never stop believing in you
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Lets have dinner
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I miss you
It was all for you
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Come back to me, Sherlock
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Lets have dinner
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Did you really hate that phrase?
I just wanted to be more like her.
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This is pointless
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I shouldnt be texting a dead man
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Lets have dinner. Please?
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I suppose I should have just said it then
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Did youhave dinmner with Irene, Sherlock?
I mighjt hve bee a little drunk
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I miss you
Every day
Every hour
I miss you
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Lets have dinner
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Today I had dinner with somebody else
She is lovely
Might as well be a psychopath
I think thats why I like her
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Mycroft just gave me a file on the woman I started dating
Psychopath
Close call
Need to do some more surveillance
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Connected to Moriarty. Of course she would be
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I still miss you
A bit less when Im on a case of my own
A bit more
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Need to keep her on a tight leash
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I think Im gonna have to propose
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Whatever happens I love you
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Todays the day
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John!
Don’t do anything stupid.
I’m on my way.
Bit of a heads up: Not dead.
Ps: I do too
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Let’s have dinner?
:)
Emojis?
:) cant stop me
Let’s never use that phrase again. I'm going to do it properly: Would you like to go on a dinner with me?
Is that a date?
Of course, you git.
Ask me then.
Would you go out on a date with me?
I like Lets have dinner more. Much simpler. Has bit of a flirt to it.
Angelo's. There be a candle on the table.
7pm
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Let me solve you a case, John Watson.
Now thats what I call a sexy catchphrase!
We can have dinner after.
Or, you know...
...we could go home :)
...have a take out :)
...solve some stuff :)
...
Yeah, let’s do that.
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Solve me a case, Holmes.
I will solve you a case, Doctor Watson
Ps: I love you
Ps: I know :)