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Kurt knows something is up when Blaine gets shifty-eyed just after the Wemma-wedding. He seems nervous and almost like he’s waiting for something, though Kurt can’t be sure for what.
When he picks him up from school the next day for coffee, he find him, huddled together with most of the cheerios, mumbling something that sounds like “he can’t know”, “only when I give you the signal” and “courtyard”.
So of course, as soon as Blaine asks him to get together for a lunch picnic in the courtyard the next day, Kurt knows what is up.
It’s surprisingly easy to get the marching band to help him out. Especially once he tells them that he thinks the hats make a great fashion statement.
It’s only at night when he has had dinner with his family that he realizes what is about to happen.
He’s on the couch, zapping through the channels and not even Burt Hummel could ignore his nervous energy and knee twitching.
The remote control gets snatched out of his hand and a second later the obnoxious sound of the reality TV show playing tapers off.
“Wanna tell me what’s going on?”
Kurt smiles; he loves being home and having people around him who know him and love him. He has those in New York but Rachel has been so focused on her Funny Girl audition and with Santana he wishes she would actually notice less because with the noticing comes the judging. His dad never judges him. Which is why he opens his mouth and everything just spills out.
“I think Blaine wants to ask me to get back together tomorrow. And when I realized that I didn’t put a stop to it but automatically did some things so that he’s the one with the surprise coming. It never even crossed my mind that maybe I shouldn’t meet him. Or tell him that I know what’s up. And then I realized that maybe that means that I want to get back together too but-“
He stops, takes a breath and dares to look at his father who is watching him with mild amusement.
“But?”
“But shouldn’t I be angry at him, still? But shouldn’t I be wary that he could hurt me again? We don’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to the long-distance relationship thing. Shouldn’t I love him less by now?”
He’s vulnerable and scared and unsure and Burt’s expression softens. He puts a reassuring arm around Kurt and squeezes his shoulders.
“There’s no one to tell you if you should love him less. Love isn’t something you can do according to a certain guideline. As to the wariness- I think you can never be sure that he won’t hurt you again. But do you really think he would cheat again?”
Kurt is shaking his head before Burt is even finished. “No. No, he wouldn’t do that. I mean- I thought that before, too. But it’s still not- I know that it probably hurt him as badly as it hurt me. I think I’m just scared because apparently I love him so much that it’s become this unconditional thing I have to accept. And that’s- scary.”
Burt just hums and looks deep in thought for a moment, fiddling with the adorable little rainbow pin Blaine has given him.
“In my personal experience there is nothing you can do about the scary part of loving someone. You just need to trust your love and his love for you to help you through the harder times of being in a relationship. But only you can decide if you want to take that risk. Apparently until tomorrow.”
He grins a bit and stands up, puts a hand on Kurt’s shoulder and the heaviness of his dad’s hand grounds him when he still feels afloat with all his different thoughts and feelings.
“You know I want all the best things for you, Kurt. What I want the most is that you’ll never stop yourself from getting what you want, or who you want, because you’re scared. If this year has shown me anything about you, it’s that you can do anything. Just do what feels right, okay? I’m going to bed now but I’ll see you tomorrow morning if you want to talk. Love you.”
Kurt mumbles a fast “love you, thanks”, before Burt is up the stairs and Kurt sits in the dark of their living room.
At last, he pulls out his phone a writes a quick text:
If there’s anything you want me to bring tomorrow, let me know. I’ll see you then :)
His phone vibrates just a few seconds later.
Just yourself will be more than enough <3 Sweet dreams.
Kurt’s heart skips a beat and he presses his phone to his chest like the teenager he is; grinning and rolling his eyes at himself, glad no one is there to judge him. Tomorrow will be good. All he needs now is a good outfit to complement both the marching band and the picnic blanket and he will be fine.