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Red and Gold
The day Tony realized he loved Steve the world was bathed in golden light.
It had been a long day for everyone. The Avengers alarm went off at four in the morning and no one was happy about that. Especially Tony since he was just heading to bed. The bad guy of the day was nothing the team couldn’t handle. Just some asshole with a delusion that the world could be taken over with an army of robot dogs the size of an average tree. So you know, regular day. The battle was over before any real damage could be done, this of course meaning that only a block of New York was destroyed. Most of the dogs ended up in holes on the ground, except for one that just really wanted to take a nap in the closest empty building. Tony had nothing to do with that one, no matter what Steve says.The sun was just starting to rise and everyone was tired. The wonder twins ended up getting a tail in the gut each and oh captain our captain was stuck for most of the fight playing fetch with his shield. There were no broken bones or open wounds though (at least in the people that mattered to him), so Tony considered it a win. Maybe it was the three day building binge or the adrenaline slowly leaving his body but Tony could feel his eyes closing without his permission. It was rather rude really. It was his own fault that he didn’t see the wall of the dog house (pun very much intended) falling his way. Or the fact that he was too slow to react in time. Steve was going to have a field day with this one. He’s going to give me a bedtime, fuck.
So yeah, maybe he deserved disappointed pout #5 from Steve (the one that looked both like a glare and like someone stole all his candy. It was also the one the Tony only seemed to cause and it should be illegal because come on.) and maybe he deserved the angry voicemail from Pepper (he was going to have to actually go to meetings now, fuck.), but he did not deserve the tears in Steve’s eyes and the tight grip on his hand. It was almost as if he cared. Which was impossible because he was Tony Stark and Steve was Steve Rogers, and to a lesser degree Captain America, and maybe that was only making sense in his head. Probably.
After hours in debriefing and even more in the hospital, the team was tired. Clint, Thor, and Natasha were in the commons watching tv. Bruce had escaped to his lab after giving Tony an exasperated look, which Tony couldn’t really blame him for since most of the past hour was spent with Bruce patiently telling Tony to sit the fuck down (In nicer words of course). And Steve, Steve disappeared before Tony could even get a word out. Tony knew where he was of course, even without JARVIS’ help he would know. He is a genius after all. Heading to the elevator was a lot harder than Tony would have liked to admit, turns out that when you have a broken bone you end up limping everywhere. Except Tony Stark did not have a limp, He was only walking with a little more style than usual, at least that’s what he’s been telling himself. Getting to the roof was even harder than getting to the elevator but when he got there all he could do was stand and look. Steve was sitting on the edge of the roof with the setting sun behind his silhouette. The only color Tony could see was the golden halo surrounding Steve that made his hair shine against the red sky and for a moment Tony could believe in God. That could be the only explanation to the angel in front of him, there was no way he was human. Tony quickly shook his head. That’s just the concussion talking. Even though I don’t have a concussion. Being subtle while sitting down next to Steve was the easiest part of the entire adventure up here. Of course, easy meaning he didn’t fall off the roof. That could be because of the arm around his waist though. “One near death experience is enough for me, Tony” Steve’s hand stayed where it was, Tony tried not notice. The tightening around his waist was completely nonexistent. It was.
“For how long?” Tony replied with a nudge, which was completely friendly and not just so Tony had an excuse to get closer to him.
Steve however had different ideas and pulled him into a hug. With Tony safely under his chin and hidden into his side he whispers “Forever” into Tony’s hair and kisses his head. Which is impossible, this whole conversation is really. But the only thing Tony can feel is Steve around him and holding him like he never wants to let Tony go. He can hear Steve’s heartbeat from where his head is on Steve’s chest and the only thing Tony can see is Steve’s neck slowly turning red and a bath of golden light. He has never loved the two colors more. He has never loved a person more. At least, not in this way. Maybe in anyway. Later there’ll be time to freak out, time to escape into his lab and hide from his friends. He’ll be able to repress his feelings in peace but for now he’s safe. He’s in the safest place he could be without having created it. He may not believe in God, but he definitely believes in Steve. And in his arms, Tony could feel himself starting to believe in a forever too.
———
Red, white, and blue
The day Steve realized he loved Tony the world was crying frozen tears.
It had been snowing for over a week and the city was over it. The fresh innocent blankets were gone by the second day and now there was only muddy slush and black ice. Steve was happy to use it as an excuse to stay inside. Not that he didn’t love going out, Steve adored being surrounded by the hustle and bustle of New York, seeing the people going about their everyday lives, knowing that they all have their own stories and their own problems. But today was different. He could feel the cold coming through the windows even though JARVIS has had the heat on since winter showed it’s ugly head. So Steve’s glad he can stay inside without being asked what’s wrong. Despite popular opinion he’s fine, even if he’s wearing a sweater in the warm common room, he’s fine. The sight of a red blur flying across the white sky distracts Steve from his thoughts. Tony’s back. Steve leaves the window and it’s chill in favor of going to Tony’s lab. He had been gone for the past couple days and Steve would be lying if he said he didn’t miss him. The tower was too quiet without Tony, too dull, too cold. When Steve enters the lab, he stops in his tracks. Tony is out of the suit and he doesn’t look too good. His usual olive skin is pale as if he just seen a ghost, he’s leaning on his desk to stay upright and despite just coming in from the cold, his hair is matted down with sweat. Oh, Tony. Steve goes to Tony without really thinking about it. When Tony only reacts by blinking blearily at him when Steve wraps his arm around his waist, Steve knows there’s something wrong with him. Tony weakly struggles against Steve’s help until he just can’t anymore and practically falls into his arms. Steve’s smile is amused but concerned as well, he picks Tony up and starts the trek to his room. The genius is obviously warm in his arms and if Tony thinks Steve isn’t going to talk to him about this then he is seriously wrong. “JARVIS can you tell me what’s wrong?”
“It appears as if sir’s suit malfunctioned causing the heat to fail. Sir currently has a fever of 100.5 degrees and hasn’t slept for approximately one and a half days.” Steve closes his eyes in worried exasperation. This man will be the death of me.
Steve places Tony in his bed and covers him in blanket upon blanket and is about to leave to get some medicine when a hand grasps his shirt. A meek “Stay. Warm,” escapes from somewhere in the pile and Steve can’t find it in himself to leave. Steve then finds himself covered by a warm, shivering genius that is using him as his own personal heater. Wouldn’t be the first time. Steve pets Tony’s hair in an act of comfort, to Tony, not him, and looks down at the calm face on his chest. Steve should be going to get Tony some medicine, but he can’t find it in himself to move. Tony’s face is still pale but he’s no longer wearing a frown, he looks young and somehow peaceful. Tony’s cheeks are rosy from either the warmth or the sickness and Steve can only think that he wishes he could see Tony blush in different circumstances. The blue light from the reactor fills the room and Steve can always breathe better knowing that it still glows. It’s at this moment that Tony sniffles and moves to get even closer to Steve and something in Steve’s chest starts to feel warm. Looking at this man, this amazing, beautiful, underappreciated man, trust him enough to take care of him in this state, Steve knows he loves him. He settles into the bed with Tony on his chest, needing no more thought on his feelings since he knows it’s just fact now. “JARVIS let me know when it’s safe to get him some medicine.”
“Dr. Banner will arrive shortly with the needed medication”
Steve smiles at the thought behind JARVIS’ decision and closes his eyes as he settles into the warmth and blue glow that is finally surrounding him after so long.
———
Red
The day their love became known, to each other at least, the world was bathed in red tears.
It was just another Avengers mission that caused it. Doom was the villain of the day and they’ve beaten him so many times that if Tony wasn’t so annoyed at being forced away from dinner with the team, he might feel bad for him. Might. It should’ve been an easy fight, especially since Doom is following the same MO as always. That being his doombots flying around and terrorizing the city with him laughing crazily in the sky somewhere. It’s gotten to the point where Cap doesn’t even have to yell orders, they already know what to do and where to go. Tony drops Clint on top of a building somewhere and yells at him anytime Clint decides to jump off said building without telling Tony, Nat and Cap fight on the ground slowly getting surrounded by fallen doombots, and Thor and Tony are on Doom duty. Thor keeping the doombots away and Tony going to beat some sense into Doom. Bruce opts to stay at the tower since the Big Guy isn’t really needed to fight this battle. No one really expected Doom to change up the battle plan after sticking with it for so long, which is probably why it worked so well. Tony was on his way to Doom, who was on the top of a building for once and looking at Tony getting closer, when everything stopped. All at once the doombots fell from the sky and Tony couldn’t move. The Iron Man suit went dark and all of a sudden Tony was falling too. He could feel the air rushing from beneath him and for a second Tony could feel the ice of space. The suit was locked and Tony couldn’t escape, the coms were down but he could hear the familiar voice screaming ”Tony!” He better not try to catch me Tony wouldn’t be able to live if Steve was crushed because he decided catching the Iron Man suit while it was falling the height of a 12 story building was a good idea. But he couldn’t really communicate that to Cap right now, he could feel the edges of panic grab his chest and, against his better judgement, closed his eyes and braced for impact.
When Tony opens his eyes everything is blurry. Everything hurts and he can only hear a high pitched noise. There’s no more darkness surrounding him but he can feel the suit encompassing him. Tony blinks at the image slowly focusing above him. It’s Steve. Of course it is. He’s saying something, but Tony can only focus on his eyes. He’s always loved Steve’s eyes, ha love, they’re shiny, as if Steve is about to cry. Tony tries to move his arm, tries to show Steve that he’s ok but he can’t move. Steve must’ve ripped off his face plate. It’s probably broken, fuck I’ll have to fix that. Tony tries to say something, anything, to let Steve know but he can’t. Something is trickling down his face and he should be worried but the only thing he can focus on are Steve’s eyes. He thinks he manages to smile. “You’re going to be fine Tony……stopped Doom…..focus, please Tony…..they’re coming….I-” Tony closes his eyes again, listening to Steve’s voice when it breaks through the pitched tone. He does smile now, if the last thing he hears is Steve’s voice, then he’s ok with that.
When Tony finally wakes up for real, it’s because of an incessant beeping that is playing in tune with the throbbing in his head. He can smell the disinfectant and knows without opening his eyes that he’s in a hospital. He hates hospitals. Someone is holding his hand and his first thought is Pepper but he knows her hand and he’s pretty sure it isn’t bigger than his. Tony opens his eyes to see Steve hunched over the side of the hospital bed with his head laying next to their hands. Steve’s hand is clutching Tony’s as if he’s scared he’ll never get the chance to again. He changed from his Cap suit and is left in a white shirt and jeans. His hands are stained red and Tony can see some dried blood still under his nails. Tony can feel his heart constrict at the thought of Steve being covered in blood, his blood. He squeezes Steve’s hand in comfort, for Steve of course not him, and the super soldier immediately wakes up. His tired eyes wildly search the room, which Tony just realizes is empty except for them, until he finds Tony’s. The emotion in Steve’s eyes stops Tony from thinking and isn’t that a miracle in it’s own right. They’re stuck in a limbo, where no one knows what to say or do because the look in their eyes, in Steve’s eyes, says enough. They say a lot but Tony can’t believe those watery eyes, he can’t believe that Steve feels that intensely for him so all he says is a meek “Hi.”
The hand holding Tony’s tightens impossibly more but it doesn’t hurt. Steve doesn’t say anything, he just looks at Tony. Just looks and looks and looks and in another life, Tony may have said the words he’s been wanting to say for months. But he’s not in that other life, if he were maybe Steve would feel the same. Before their staring contest could end something in Steve changes, he adopts the look he gets before a mission. Where his shoulders pull back and his posture reverts to those days as a soldier. His eyes only change into a more determined stare and Tony braces himself for the usual lecture. Steve’s gaze finally breaks its connection with Tony’s eyes only to look at their entwined hands. He smiles, a small shy smile that Tony likes to think he has only seen. That this smile is Steve’s smile for him. It feels like an eternity until he looks at Tony again, though it was no more than a couple seconds. Steve takes a deep breath and Tony doesn’t think he can handle what he’s about to say. “ Look Cap I know-” “I love you”
Tony’s heart stops. At least it feels that way. He must be in a coma, that would be the only reason this amazing person, this beautiful being would dare say those words to someone like Tony. This has to be his brain pulling a cruel trick on him. Steve doesn’t take Tony’s silence as a bad thing which is surprising. Instead he smiles another one of Tony’s favorite smiles and says “I know this is out of the blue and I know you’re probably doubting everything right now but you need to know this is real.” He squeezes Tony’s hand again and somehow Tony manages to blink. “I know I’m doing this all wrong, trust me I do but God Tony- when I saw you fall and there was no way for me to get to you in time-” He looks away “You were on the ground, bleeding and broken in your suit and the only thing I could think was that if you…if you were to never wake up, I would never see your eyes again” Tony is fixed in Steve’s gaze again, he can feel his brain thinking a mile a minute I’m dreaming “You would never know how much you mean to me, how much I love you, and how important you are to not only me but all of us.” Steve’s other hand moves to Tony’s face and strokes his cheeks swiping away the tears that somehow managed to fall. Stark men don’t cry but Tony can feel himself leaning into Steve’s touch. His eyes look so damn affectionate and honest, Tony might just drown in them. “So I figured when you woke up, because I knew you would, I’d spring all this on you. Seems kind of selfish now huh?”
Tony doesn’t know what to do. He was just given everything he could ever want in the palm of his hand and he doesn’t know what to do with it. He looks at Steve and sees so many things. He sees Steve making him breakfast and making sure the team doesn’t steal any of his food. He sees Steve already having a cup of coffee ready for him before he even gets to the kitchen. He sees Steve smiling at Tony when he starts to ramble and defending him against press. He sees Steve making sure he’s always ok and getting worried when Tony does something stupid in the field. He sees Steve doing so many things for him that he would never do for anyone else. He sees the different smiles and laughs that were made just for Tony and how did he ever doubt Steve felt the same way? Tony has a lot of questions but he’s willing to find the answers with Steve. So he looks into Steve’s eyes and instead braces himself to say something he shouldn’t find so hard. Steve understands as soon as he looks into Tony’s eyes. “You don’t have to say anything Tony I’ll under-” “I love you too.” Tony finds a new favorite smile and Steve finds a way to derail Tony’s brain. It’s no where near perfect. Tony’s whole body aches from falling from the sky and Steve still has Tony’s blood staining his hands but Steve can’t stop smiling and Tony refuses to let go of Steve’s hand and they’re together. Finally.