Work Text:
The words echoed around inside of Jasper's head like a haunting chant. He hadn’t moved from the spot he stood in when she said the words, he couldn’t find the energy. Jasper knew he needed to move, needed to go after her to fix this, but he couldn’t move. Hell he felt like he couldn’t breath. He knew he had fucked things up not asking for help, thinking he could fix it on his own. However, he never thought it would be this bad, none of it; with Eleanor, with James. It was all just one giant cluster fuck. All because he didn’t stop and think to just ask for help. He thought he could handle it on his own and look where that got him? Shit creek with no paddle to help him out.
Except, this wasn’t like with James or the others. This he could fix or at least he needed to try. Len deserved that much. For him to at least try and fix this, to mend what he broke. If anything, she deserved to know the truth. All of it. Even if she walked away at the end. He couldn’t even blame this one on his father. This was all him and unlike his father he was going to fix this. He was going to do everything in his power to make things right, or at least try. He at least owed that much to Eleanor.
“Len, wait.” Jasper finally mumbled out the words, but they just echoed into the empty room. Jasper shook himself from the state he was in and making his feet move. He needed to go after her, so he did just that. Kicking his feet into motion, he twisted around quickly making his way out of the Princess' bedroom and down the hall. He wasn’t sure where she was or how far she had made it, but she was leaving. So he quickly made his way through rooms towards the doors of the palace, praying she hadn’t made it out of them. Taking a short stop to catch his breath, Jasper took a moment to think. She was so determined to leave, ready to walk away, he was sure she’d already said goodbye to everyone. She wouldn’t be making any stops. All but one, her father’s picture, which meant the living room like area.
Ducking into the hidden hallways, he took a couple short cuts that would lead him right to the living area where the picture hung. Jasper took a short pause, standing at the door that lead to the hallway right outside the doors. He wasn’t sure if he was praying she was there or taking a moment to figure out what to say. Probably both. Taking a deep breath, Jasper pushed the door open and made his way into the large room. He’d been right, there she stood right in front of her father's picture. She wasn’t really speaking though, just standing and looking at it. It felt off as if she knew he would come and she was waiting. Jasper quickly pushed that thought down, she wasn’t waiting for him. That was the point of this, she was done waiting. He’d really fucked up this time.
“Jasper...please.” She whispered in a pleading voice when she noticed the moment he walked in. That was why she hadn’t been speaking, but just standing there looking sad and broken at the picture.
“Please, Len...Just, let me explain. Please.. I’m not asking you to stay..Just, you deserve to know the truth.. All of it.” Jasper's voice matched her in a whisper of a plea. He could tell by the way her shoulders slumped down that she was going to hear it. Even though Jasper was sure she was fighting every instinct that told her to just walk away. Jasper found himself at a loss of words. He wasn’t actually expecting to get this far. Taking in a few deep breathes, Jasper took a couple steps tolds the Princess. But Jasper stopped, retreating back once he noticed her put a hand up at him while taking a step back away from him. Okay, some distance was probably good.
“You have five minutes, Jasper.” Eleanor spoke in a more firm voice, but he could still hear the hurt and hollow feeling that was in it. Her eyes were still down casted, looking at the floor and not him. Probably to hide the tears he could see welling up inside of them. She was trying to hold herself together, keep herself from breaking in front of him and it broke him. It made him want to run over to her, hold her tight in his arms and apologize, but that wasn’t going to be good enough this time.
“Okay, that’s - that’s all I need.” Jasper finally answered back, looking away from her for a moment and up to the picture of her father, before looking back at her. This was it, he had to lay it all out on the line. Heart and soul, and he was horrible at this kind of stuff. But for her? He would do his best to try because she deserved it.
“I’m sorry..- there is more.” Jasper spoke, cutting his words off at the sound of her sigh and eye roll. She was now looking up at him, staring at him and he couldn’t help but feel nervous. Switching from one foot to the other, he looked up taking in a deep breath before looking back at her and meeting her eyes.
“I should’ve just told you. The truth. Instead of.. Instead of just walking away. Thinking that was the best action. There was a reporter and she knew about us. She wanted to write a story and she was going to write the story. She knew about my past and like I said before, I’m okay with that. I’ve done what I’ve done, but it wouldn’t be fair to you. It wasn’t fair to you. I couldn’t let her drag you down because of my past. But instead of asking for help, I took it into my own hands and I accept the consequence of my actions. But I- I can’t let you walk away thinking-” Jasper found his throat to close up, the emotions welling inside of him threatening to spill over. His eyes had drifted to the floor before drifting back up to Eleanor. He couldn’t read her. She had closed herself off, put her walls back up and he couldn’t blame her.
“I’ve done a lot of bad things in my past, and I can’t apologize for none of it. I would, but it wouldn’t change it. But, none of that matters. I just need you to know that being with you was the best part of my life. It’s the happiest I have ever been. That night I walked away, I didn’t mean any of it. And I know actions show more than words. I’d give you the world to prove it to you. To show you I’ve never been as happy as I am when I’m with you. I just-” Jasper cut his words off watching her shake her head some. He could see the tears falling down. He was going to lose her and just on cue with his thoughts, she started to back away, ready to run. Shit, he just needed to tell her. Jasper took two seconds to decide before taking the few steps towards her, closing the distance. His fingers gentle wrapped around her wrist, pulling her back to him, but keeping a small distance between them.
“Please...I-I love you.” Jasper whispered the words. He wasn’t even sure if he spoke them loud enough to be heard, but in the emptiness of the large room, it seemed like they bounced off the walls. Making the words sound louder than they really had been spoken.
“I’m not saying it to make you stay, or to force you to stay.... I just needed you to know, before you walked away. God, I should’ve said them soon. I should have handled things different and for that, I am sorry. I would take it all back if I could, but I would never take back what we had. I wouldn’t change that for the world.” Jasper continued to speak in a soft gentle tone, a whisper plea, hoping she would pick to stay, but he wasn’t going to hold her back either. She deserved better. Jasper let his free hand come to rest gentle on the side of her face, his thumb stroking her cheek gentle.
“Jasper...I-” Eleanor spoke. Emotion lined her voice heavy causing her to cut her words short. Her eyes spoke for her, though. Jasper just simply shook his head with a sad soft smile on his lips. Leaning in he let his lips brush against her forehead, lingering for a few short moments before pulling back. He gave her a sad smile as silence filled the room.
“It’s okay. I-I fucked up. I just needed you to know.” Jasper spoke after a few minutes of silence, both just simply looking back at each other. He wasn’t going to force her to stay or hold her back. That wasn’t fair to either of them, especially not to her. “Go. Go follow your dreams. I refuse to hold you back. You deserve better then that. I just-. You just deserved to know. It wasn’t all in your head, you weren’t wrong.” The words felt heavy on his tongue. Letting her go was the last thing he wanted to do, but knew she needed it. She needed this freedom, this time to heal. Leaning in once more, Jasper gently kissed her forehead, holding on for a few more moments before letting her go.
Taking a few steps back, he let her go. He let her walk away. His eyes drifted to the picture of the king before drifting to the floor as he took in a deep breath before letting it out.
“Jasper…” Her words echoed in the quiet of the room. Her words also caused him to snap his eyes up from the floor to where she now lingered in the door. “Don’t give up on me, okay?”
Eleanor echoed the same words from before when they had their first date. A small smile on her lips as she waited, even though she knew the answer.
“I won’t, ever.”
Jasper spoke the words from before, but the words echoed something else, knowing what she really had been asking him. A soft smile pulled at the corners of his mouth, echoing her smile. The silence stretched for a couple more moment as both looked at each other, not ready to walk away, but knowing one had too. Eleanor gave one more soft smile before turning around and walking away. Jasper watched her go this time, knowing she was coming back home to him.