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“He’s gone, Prompto. It’s time to make your peace with that and move on,” Gladiolus said as he moved to pull the tent back up.
It had been a year now with Noctis gone, meaning light had flooded back into Insomnia and Lucis, chasing away the daemons. A year Prompto had suffered without a hand in his, without lips against his own, without a chest to lay on while he pretended everything would be okay, if only for that moment. It was still hard, accepting that his boyfriend of four years was gone again, but he didn’t think ill of it because it was selfless. Noctis had lost almost everything and he gave up what little he had left for the good of his people.
For the good of all people.
“It’s best not to dwell on what we can’t fix,” Ignis added in, his hands being busy rolling up sleeping bags, his touch being the only thing he could rely on now.
Well, that and Gladiolus, but Prompto wondered how long the previous shield to the Lucis line would stick around. He knew he was getting on his nerves, constantly taking those pictures again and hoarding them to tell Noctis about later that night.
He was always the first one up and the last one to bed to maximize the time he could get. There was so much that happened in a day that Noctis needed to hear, that he needed to tell him, to keep the line between them all alive.
“I have made my peace. I don’t dwell,” he said firmly from where he was sitting on the edge of the haven. “You don’t understand, do you? He misses us, just as we miss him, and he listens.”
“The Astrals don’t even listen, Prompto,” the raven-haired sighed. It hurt, he wouldn’t lie, hearing those words come from someone that had known Noctis even longer than he had. Someone who had, had a better chance at getting close and had memories with him that went back more than just a few years.
“How can you say that? How can you think that? It isn’t like he just abandoned us. He gave everything up to save us. He loved us and this is what you do? Leave him in the silence?” Prompto asked, raising his voice as he moved to stand up. From the corner of his eye, he could see Ignis going stiff. He tried not to fight with them, was blessed that they hadn’t just left him to fend for himself, but some things just got under the blond’s skin.
For example, leaving Noctis alone when he had sacrificed himself for them.
“Wherever he is, he has Luna, he has his father, and he has people surrounding him. He’s not checking in every five seconds to hear an update about how we saved a group of children from a couple coeurls or found an injured chocobo again and brought it back to Wiz. He’s made his own peace, he did his duty, and now he is resting—”
“You’re wrong,” Prompto snapped, sounding so unlike himself as he shook his head and curled his fingers into his palms. To say he was angry would be an understatement. He was bitter, he was hurt, and most of all, he was disappointed. “I almost wish you could see yourselves now. All that time saying you would stand by him through it all and the moment you can’t see him, you ignore him.”
“Prompto, it isn’t like that,” Ignis murmured softly as he stepped closer, offering a hand out towards the gunner. When he didn’t take it, Prompto felt that hand instead touch his forearm and for a brief moment, the younger wondered how Ignis just knew where he stood.
“Is that what it’s going to be like when I die? You’ll just push me out of your thoughts, too? Forget I was ever there?” He provoked, almost wanting Gladiolus to attack him if for no other reason than to get some sort of emotion out of him. He wanted the man to snap at him, show he was hurting, too, but all he did was stand there and look at Prompto with something the blond was pretty sure was pity.
“Of course not. You’re our brother.” Prompto had to scoff at that while looking up at Ignis with a look he knew wouldn’t be seen. “Don’t look at me like that.” At least he can sense it, Prompto thought.
“So was he. You were sworn to advise him. Gladiolus was sworn to protect him. I get that your jobs are over, but he still misses us. He cares, he listens, and if you really tried, you would hear him, too,” he finished before pulling his arm away from Ignis and going to grab his bag.
Eleven years ago, it was filled with things that they would need for their journey after Insomnia had fallen. Last year, it was filled with items he had been smuggling into Hammerhead and Lestallum to help people that couldn’t get those types of medicine and supplies on their own without paying a pretty gil. Now, it was filled with memories that Prompto refused to let go of. His camera, all their old photos, Noctis’ glove..
He was a mess, he knew, and he wasn’t saying he wasn’t holding onto something because he was scared to let go of the boy he loved. The boy he watched never want to become a prince, but served as a great king. What he was saying was that they weren’t the only ones that lost something that night. Noctis had lost more than he had ever bargained for and Prompto wasn’t about to let him down and forget about him.
Their journey was silent that day and honestly, Prompto was still surprised they were even together after a year. When Noctis had first disappeared into the crystal, Gladiolus had gone off without a word after only six months. Ignis would have never left Prompto, but the gunner knew he was more of a burden than help, so he had left the man in Lestallum one night and never looked back. Of course they ran into each other and sometimes ended up fighting the same enemy, but in the end, they all went their separate ways again and Gladiolus and Prompto didn’t speak all that much.
What killed Prompto was the shield had faith back then and now he didn’t believe in anything.
Iris told Prompto once, maybe a couple months back, that Gladiolus would come around. She had said she believed Prompto and had even spoken to Noctis one night while sitting on the wall of Lestallum with him. However, soon she started to fade away as well and Prompto lost his hope in her as well.
Ignis was loyal, Prompto didn’t think Ignis knew how to be anything but, and he never judged the blond for creeping out of the tent before dawn every morning to say a few words or when he moved to sit on the end of the haven to eat while looking at his photos and talking about them. Prompto appreciated it, but he knew the man was concerned as he always sighed as he turned away to get into their tent.
Today had been no different. He had gotten up, spoke to his past lover as though he were still there physically, while clicking his camera and cleaning it out to be ready for the day. That had been when Gladiolus found him and said those horrible words that Prompto would never forget.
He dragged his feet behind the other two as they made they way around the land of Duscae, looking for some legendary bird egg that Iris was hoping to save. They only picked up the gig because it was Iris and Gladiolus was weak to anything his sister asked for.
He wondered if Ignis felt as alone as he did. They both had lost their reason to live, their sole purpose, and now were just mindlessly finding things to do to keep themselves occupied. His heart felt a pang at the thought of Ignis feeling like he had no purpose anymore and made a mental note to tell Noctis that later. For now, he decided to would keep an eye out for the man that even though had no sight, didn’t need someone to look after him.
That night, after the egg had been found and brought back to Iris, Ignis cooked a meal that smelt oddly familiar, but not something he had, had anytime recently. With a turn of his head when his name was called, he glanced down at the meal in front of him and gave a sad, but soft smile.
“Mother & child rice with memory cake..” He breathed, heart breaking slightly as he inhaled the scent and held the plate closer to his stomach. “You remember.”
“Of course I do, Prompto,” Ignis replied and for a moment, the blond was satisfied with Gladiolus training down below instead of sitting up here with them by the fire. It meant that Prompto didn’t have to hide the way he missed Noctis and neither did Ignis, seeing as he had just made the late king’s favorite meal and seemingly just for Prompto. “He use to ask me to make this every night. I don’t know how he never got tired of it.”
“Too much of a good thing never seemed to harm him,” Prompto chuckled a little before taking a bite of the food and immediately smiling around it. Noctis may not have been there anymore physically, but he was definitely there in spirit and Prompto felt it in the way Ignis moved to rub a hand against the gunner’s shoulder before stepping away and making what Prompto could only assume was Gladiolus and his dinner.
When Gladiolus had come back, dirty and sweaty, Prompto had moved to the edge of the haven again, missing the grunt he was given for his meal choice. Crossing his legs, he placed his camera beside him on his left while his plate moved to rest on his right, before sitting down firmly against the rune stone.
“You missed it today. Today, I did this shot that hit the beast right between the eyes! I’ve been learning how to lace my shots with fire, so there was this bright explosion when the shot made contact. It was sick, dude,” he chuckled lightly as he took another bite of his food and hummed appreciation. Gladiolus maybe didn’t get it, but Prompto was satisfied with Ignis and how he gave when he could and resisted keeping Prompto from giving when he, himself, couldn’t.
“Wish you coulda been here to see it. I hope.. You’re looking down on me..” He paused before feeling those pesky tears come back to fill his waterlines. He didn’t always cry, he was getting better with it, but today he couldn’t stop himself. “I miss you. Every day, I miss you. There is a piece of me missing, Noct. But.. I feel so selfish. You gave your life so that we can live on. I’ve actually started waking up before dawn, every day. I watch the sun rise and.. Think of you.. And the sacrifice you made for our world. You truly were larger than life. I could never live up to what you became, but I can make damn sure try to be a better me, every day, for you,” he whispered, believing in those words more than anything else these days.
“Gladiolus will come around.. I’m sure of it. Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow, maybe Noct in another ten years,” he laughed dryly at the pun, “but one day. Maybe.. Maybe it’s a little harder for him to accept, I don’t know, but I have faith sometimes. Even if I struggle with it. He just makes it so damn hard. How did you deal with him for so long?”
“And Ignis,” he paused again with furrowed eyebrows as he tried to think of the words to say about the man. “Ignis, he.. He misses you. More than he’ll probably ever admit to, but he misses you. Tonight, he made your favorite, just for me.. Mother & child rice with memory cake. I don’t know how he does it, Noct. I have two hands and two working eyes and I could never make this dish. It’s just.. It’s just like we use to share,” he sighed, this time in fondness of the memories they use to have.
Not use to. Prompto hadn’t forgotten. He would keep those memories alive.
“I hope you are well.. And I hope Luna and the king are as well. Send them my love and.. And tell them everything is okay down here. Insomnia and Lucis are rebuilding still, but soon it will be just like home. Well, not just like.. I don’t feel I’ll ever be at home again without you here,” he mumbled before flicking a piece of dust off of his jeans and going to shake his head, allowing a small and fond smile to cross his lips. “I love you, Noct. I’ll see you again, but until then, we’ll always have this.”
——
After finishing his meal and going through his pictures that night, Prompto fell asleep against the stone in a light doze. Ignis couldn’t help but smile down at the man, who would always feel like that young boy so in love way back when, while moving to carefully grab the dishes around the blonde. When he came back, he had a blanket in hand and a pillow he slipped under the male’s head while covering him for the night. “He’s in safe hands, Your Majesty,” he breathed towards the open night and would never admit to hearing the soft, ’thank you,’ he heard back.
——
“He’s a fighter, that one.”
“He’s always been a fighter and that’s why I wait for him.”