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Everyone always said you could use someone to mellow you out, someone to ease all of that anger you’ve got. And honestly, you kind of wanted someone to approach you in the middle of one of your tantrums and pull you into their arms until your yelling has turned into crying it out. Ideally you’d fall asleep like that. The perfect beginning to a perfect pale romance, right?
You never counted on Gamzee. You think you had it all wrong until Gamzee happened. Obviously you were meant for the calming role, because this – having your moirail half asleep in your lap with his head on your shoulder – just feels natural. There’s no way it could come so easily to you if you weren’t meant for this.
He’s only ever really truly at ease around you anymore. He has too much pressure on him, and too much guilt within him. You do your best to get him to relax for a while. As you play with his hair and he practically melts into you, you like to think your efforts are working. He’s not tense at all anymore by this point. A smile threatens to take over his face, and you could almost swear you hear him purring.
Keeping him calm keeps you calm too. You remember before you thought this role must be a chore. You kind of felt sorry for whatever poor bastard would get stuck with you as a moirail. Now look at you, being all comforting and shit without even minding. Actually, scratch that, it’s more than that. You really want to be here with Gamzee. You like to think he wants you with him too.
No, he definitely wants you with him. He hardly lets anyone else touch him. He doesn’t even stay in the same room as the humans unless you’re there with him. If Gamzee didn’t thoroughly enjoy curling up against you, you wouldn’t be able to make him. You have to trust that he does, anyway. That’s what romance is all about. But as he shifts to make himself more comfortable, trying to bury his face in your neck without his horns getting in the way, you don’t have any doubt anyway.
It’s not long after he settles down again that he finally falls asleep. You close your eyes and listen to his breathing, trying to keep yours slow enough that it doesn’t disturb him. You just managed to calm him down, and now you don’t want to work him up again. Only his fidgeting in his sleep gets you to move, and then it’s only to accommodate him. He squirms and you adjust for him until you’re lying on your back and he’s using your shoulder as a pillow. (In the middle of all this, you notice his face paint is smudged, which may or may not mean the asshole got paint all over your shirt and neck. You can’t summon the energy to care.)
Gamzee comes to rest with one of his arms across your torso, the other awkwardly under himself. You think that can’t be comfortable, but he’s asleep and you don’t have any complaints so you decide to let him be. But you will continue to watch over him and adjust for him if you need to. Isn’t that what moirails do?