Chapter Text
[7:20 PM]
Shitty Group Therapy
CoolBitch:
The plan
Snorter:
Raven
CoolBitch:
Was so close to working
Last brain cell standing:
Raven...
CoolBitch:
so CLOSE
HOW DID WE GET LATE BY TWENTY 20 minutes??
WE LEFT AT 6
I Suck Dicks:
I mean technically it was six ten
CoolBitch:
SHUT IT BELUGA BITCH WE MISSED THE BEST PARTS OF THE PARTY
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
Wellll
Imma go get a drink
CoolBitch:
OH HELL NO
YOU DONT GET TO ACT INNOCENT WHEN YOU WERE BUSY DROOLING AND MASTUrbatiNgg OVER LEXAS INSTA ITS LITERALLY WHY WE WERE LATE IN THE FIRST PLACE "DRIVER"
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
I WAS NOT MASTURBATING
Panda mf:
With the intensity of the stare you gave your phone, it was probably equivalent to masturbating
Just with your eyes
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
Shut it EcHoe
Panda mf:
-_-
Better Blake UwU:
And Clarke's running..
CoolBitch:
BITCH
I Suck Dicks:
The amount of Bitch we say is overwhelming
Permanent TrashPrince:
OH SHIT SHE JUST BUMPED INTO LEXA
RAVEN THIS IS YOUR CHANCE
Last brain cell standing:
Did you just help Raven kill Clarke?
For like the 100th time?
Permanent TrashPrince:
HELL YEAH
Snorter:
#FREEDOMFROMCLARKE
Last brain cell standing:
Jasper no.
Snorter:
#thehashtagaboveneverhappened
Last brain cell standing:
Good, now go mingle and stay out of trouble
Snorter:
Sir yes sir!
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
CRAP CRAP CRAP I BUMPED INTO LEXA AND SPILLED CHEEP AS BUDLIGHT ON HER SHIRT FUCK IT WAS WARM TOO
SHES WAS WEARING A GUCCI SHIRT TOO OH SHITJSJNE
Better Blake UwU:
OKAY OKAY CALM DOWN
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*
LUNAS GONNA KILL ME
I Suck Dicks:
Is she that bad?
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
No shit blake, i prob don't remember most of it but definitely remember the part when i came over their house for the first time and she deadass looked me straight in the fucking eyes and said if i ever hurt lexa she's going to cut off my limbs and make me watch her fEeD it to my fishes one by one
SHE SAID IT IN THE MOST NON THREATENING TONE OF VOICE AND I ONLY WENT THERE FOR A SPLIT SEC BECAUSE I GAVE LEXA BACK HER HOODIE
Permanent TrashPrince:
#OMGCLARKEHASLEXASHOODIE
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
SHUT THE FUCK UP COCKROACH THIS ISNT THE TIME IM STRESSED
And fyi i only had her hoodie for a day because it was cold at school
Candle Addict with a hint of Clarke:
Do you guys know who spilled beer on my shirt? They just left so tell me in person cause my phones about to die brb
Clexa Club for the hoes
[7:35 PM]
Better Blake UwU:
CLARKE
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
WHAT
Better Blake UwU:
YOU DID NOT JUST DIP LIKE YOURE BEING CHASED BY RAVEN WITH A BLOWTORCH AFTER SPILLING BEER ON LEXA
Permanent TrashPrince:
This is good
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
Why is Murphy here?
CoolBitch:
DONT CHANGE THE SUBJECT OR I WILL ACTUALLY CHASE YOU WITH A BLOWTORCH
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY FOR THE GIRLS
Featuring Murphy
Better Blake UwU:
TELL HER
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
NO
SHES GONNA THINK IM CLUMSY AS HELL
IN WHICH I AM NOT
Permanent TrashPrince:
Ooooo party girl griffin—who is also class president—is scared about what a specific Quarterback thinks about her
Thats new
CoolBitch:
Wait wait wait
But you are a klutz Clarke
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
NOT HELPING
Plus Luna's gonna make me pay for the shirt and it costs my whole house
Wait
I just checked it's three houses..plus my life savings
Better Blake UwU:
Why would she make you pay it?
Its just a spill
Its not like you ripped it to shreds or anything
CoolBitch:
Right Clarke?
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
Uhhhh
About that
It also got caught on my watch..and tore
CoolBitch:
I am for once
Rendered speechless
Better Blake UwU:
Are you fucki-
Permanent TrashPrince:
Teen drama at its finest everyone
Shitty Group Therapy
[7:39 PM]
Candle Addict with a hint of Clarke:
There's also a big hole in the back???
Better Blake UwU:
Just hold on a sec Commander
CoolBitch:
We're trying the find the culprit
Candle Addict with a hint of Clarke:
???
Clexa Club for the hoes
[7:40 PM]
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
GUYS PRAY FOR ME
CoolBitch:
You miss Griffin are dying soon enough so say hello to Murphy and the rest of the squad in hell for me
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
DONT I ACT LIKE WE WONT MEET THERE REYES
I GAVE YOU A RESERVED SEAT RIGHT NEXT TO SATAN AND WHOEVER IS RELATED TO HIM
MURPHY TOO
CoolBitch:
BITCH PLS IM THE MOST NICEST PERSON YOU WILL EVER MEET IN YOUR ALMOST EXPIRED LIFE SPAN
Permanent TrashPrince:
I can see it now
"Here lies Clarke Elizabeth Griffin who got brutally killed by Luna unknown middle name Woods. While whiteness Raven Lindsey Reyes just sits on a bench not far from it and drinks a soda while the crime happened. We don't know who we are most concerned by, the killer or the one watching."
Im talking about possibly a new match made in hell couple
Better Blake UwU:
Don't lie you'll probably be there too Murphy
And Raven I VIVIDLY remember you pushing an old lady during a Christmas sale at the mall last year to AGGRESSIVELY take the last VR Headset from her hands
CoolBitch:
IT WAS ON SALE WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO
Better Blake UwU:
IDK...NOT PUSH HER??
CoolBitch:
YOU'D DO THE SAME YOU CRIMINAL
Better Blake UwU:
BUT DID I??
Permanent TrashPrince:
Im a simple sixteen year old asking a simple question
Is satan hot tho?
Better Blake UwU:
NOT THE TIME TO ACT GAY MURPHY
Permanent TrashPrince:
Just asking
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
GUYS HELLOOO
A LITTLE HELP HERE
Permanent TrashPrince:
Yo guys i just saw Costia Forester dragging Woods up towards the second floor
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
WHICH WOODS ??
Better Blake UwU:
Cue jealous Clarke
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
Im not jealous but Murphy's cockroach ass better tell me which Woods sibling she's going upstairs with
Permanent TrashPrince:
But I don't want you to kill anyone
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
If you wont it's probably you who will die so hurry up
Better Blake UwU:
So bossy
I bet Lexa likes that
CoolBitch:
Kinky
Are you power bottom or something?
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
EVERYONE SHUT IT
MURPHY I SWEAR TO OCTAVIAS RIDICULOUS TIKTOK ACC
Hurry up or I'll tell everyone that you like-
Permanent TrashPrince:
OKAY FINE I'LL TELL YOU
Better Blake UwU:
You did not just call my beloved tiktok that
And did he just cut her off on text?
Permanent TrashPrince:
Jk I'm just fucking with you
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
BITCH
Permanent TrashPrince:
I don't like anybody
Better Blake UwU:
And you think we believe that?
Permanent TrashPrince:
Shut up O
But I'll tell you a hint tho Clarke
CoolBitch:
Its so obvious tho
Better Blake UwU:
Not to blondie
She's a little slow
Better Blake UwU:
I mean..
she is slow for a class President
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
????
I'm literally right here
Permanent TrashPrince:
LETS CONTINUE
Hint: Its Clarke's Woods
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
Thats the most bullshit hint Murphy
What are we? In preschool?
Permanent TrashPrince:
Nah im just bored and decided to mess with you
Parties aren't really my thing
I repeat YOUR Woods
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
But I don't have a Woods
CoolBitch:
Sighs
We need some work to do Griff
Better Blake UwU:
I'm just waiting for all hell to break loose
I'll just do tiktoks outside to ignore the blood curdling screams later
CoolBitch:
Murph just tell her
CoolBitch:
No
I'm having wayyy to much fun
Another Hint: its the Woods sibling that Clarke loves the most
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
I certainly do not love any of them
Well Lincoln is tolerable and I don't rlly know anything about Luna yet
Wait-
Permanent TrashPrince:
And it Clicks
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
THAT BITCH
CoolBitch:
🎶 She's a runner she's a trackstar 🎶
Permanent TrashPrince:
OH SHIT SHES FAST
Better Blake UwU:
HAHAHAHAHA
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
IT DOESNT MEAN I LOVE HER LIKE THAT
Better Blake UwU:
Of course
CoolBitch:
We better warn the others
Better Blake UwU:
I agree
Shitty Group Therapy
[8:05 PM]
Better Blake UwU:
Somebody get the first aid kit
Last brain cell standing:
Why?
CoolBitch:
Code blue
I Suck Dicks:
.....What is code blue?
Better Blake UwU:
I swear i feel like Murphy's giving you head rather than you listening to most of our group meetings
CoolBitch:
Sighs
Listen here you tampon looking sheep shits about to go down between Clarke and Costia, blonde on blonde which is VERY dangerous so you better get the fucking first aid kit
I Suck Dicks:
Ohhhh
Wait did you just call me a tampon sheep?
CoolBitch:
Yes
You got a problem with it bitch blake?
I Suck Dicks:
1 i am not a tampon sheep 2 nor am i a bitch blake and 3 i do have a problem with it
CoolBitch:
.......
I Suck Dicks:
......
Panda mf:
Oh shit
Better Blake UwU:
I can now confirm that my favorite part of this whole gc is the Bellamy slander
Panda mf:
I agree
[8:10 PM]
*tries to be optimistic about life*:
Why is Raven choking Bellamy and putting his face near the stove which is turned on?
Better Blake UwU:
Read the text above
*tries to be optimistic about life*:
Ohhhh
He was practically wishing for death, did i miss anything?
Better Blake UwU:
Yeah you didn't really miss anything, im drinking beer while Echo is watching Bellamy and Raven go at it
*tries to be optimistic about life*:
I just realized, where is Clarke?
Monty and Murphy are obvious and maybe Murphy too but I thought she would be close by and leading your little group?
Better Blake UwU:
.....
Oh fuck
It's quiet upstairs
*tries to be optimistic about life*:
??
Better Blake UwU:
She found out that Costia was dragging Lexa up to the second floor so she followed
Silence is deadly when it comes to that normally innocent looking blonde sixteen year old girl who's obsessed with art
*tries to be optimistic about life*:
Sooooo
what are planning in that beautiful head of yours?
Better Blake UwU:
Flattered
And no I'm not gonna do anything
Watching Clarke beat up Costia up for free? Hell yeah
*tries to be optimistic about life*
....okayy
Just please don't break anything
Everything in this house is costly
Better Blake UwU:
I can tell
[11:30 PM]
Better Blake UwU:
Does anyone know why Clarke and Lexa are acting weird?
CoolBitch:
I just noticed that
And in saying that while being tipsy so its a big deal
Panda mf:
You're not tipsy you're Jasper Jordan level drunk but actually still smart to type normally
Better Blake UwU:
Jasper Jordan level drunk?
Panda mf:
He's talking to a bush
While Murphy's taking a video of him
*tries to be optimistic about life*:
Wait but like we should talk about Clexa's problem
Like they're ignoring each other
Panda mf:
Wait really
*tries to be optimistic about life*:
Yeah
Panda mf:
Thats a first
Something big must've happened during those 2-3 hours upstairs
I Suck Dicks:
Thats sus
Panda mf:
Yeah like your name and just you in general
I Suck Dicks:
I'm not sus
CoolBitch:
You are and we will continue to think so
Better Blake UwU:
Oh shit
Panda mf:
What?
Better Blake UwU:
@Lincoln Woods and Luna Woods
Sand Licker:
What now?
I'm busy
Better Blake UwU:
Im 100% sure someone just violently hurled in your bushes
The one with the pretty flowers and shaped as a W
*tries to be optimistic about life*:
WHAT
Better Blake UwU:
And its probably Jasper
Sand Licker:
Little shit
CoolBitch:
WOah now
Don't kill him
Sand Licker:
Why the hell not?!
If moms gonna kill me since she put me in charge then I'm bringing him down with me
CoolBitch:
Dont be dramatic
Trust me I'd do the same but he's.....Well Jasper and he's the clown of the group
Not to mention hEs also our weed dealer so don't destroy our fragile little ecosystem
Sand Licker:
I thought you were drunk? How the hell are you still typing
CoolBitch:
EXcuse ME
IM drunk but it doesn't mean i got dumber
I got more brain cells drunk than ten thousand Jasper Jordan's
Sand Licker:
...noted
*tries to be optimistic about life*:
Well it's 11 and the parties ending
What do we do now?
I Suck Dicks:
Time flies so fast when you're partying i swear
CoolBitch:
OHSHBEUJSJS I GOT AN IDEA
Panda mf:
I'm scared but what is it?
CoolBitch:
Don't be dramatic panda face
Panda mf:
:|
CoolBitch:
WEll considering there's no more food and i got the munchies
Why don't we go to a fast food chain?
Better Blake UwU:
Literally half of us are drunk
Sand Licker:
And stoned apparently
CoolBitch:
BUT WE'LL SOBER UP
I PROMISE
Better Blake UwU:
But how about the rest?
You know
Murphy is...okay? He doesn't really show shit, Monty is a little high, Jasper is fucked, Clarke is on the other side of the house talking to Finn while Lexa is in the corner drinking probably expensive alcohol
CoolBitch:
I'LL ROUND THEM UP
PLSS
Sand Licker:
Ok fine hurry up
[11:39 PM]
Candle Addict with a hint of Clarke:
I was summoned
Permanent TrashPrince:
What are we up to today my fellow delinquents
I Suck Dicks:
Welcome back to the land of the living guys
Last brain cell standing:
Yeah
After me and Jasper had to make a couple stops by some bushes for him to puke
And I'm starting to have a headache
Panda mf:
The moonshine finally catching up?
Last brain cell standing:
Unfortunately
Sand Licker:
Wow Raven
Only took you 9 minutes
CoolBitch:
I know right?
You ungrateful fuckers don't have faith in me
I'm honestly offended
Better Blake UwU:
Where's Clarke?
CoolBitch:
I told her to come or reply in the gc but she probably forgot
Candle Addict with a hint of Clarke;
She's talking to that Collins dude
*tries to be optimistic about life*
Captain of the lacrosse team?
Candle Addict with a hint of Clarke:
Yeah
CoolBitch:
Ew
I hate him after he turned salty after I rejected him
He's probably gonna shoot his shot at Clarke
Candle Addict with a hint of Clarke:
He won't dare
Better Blake UwU:
Woah
Bit protective there Lexa?
Candle Addict with a hint of Clarke:
No I'm not
Just looking out for her
Sand Licker:
I can practically see you clenching your jaw from a few feet away
Candle Addict with a hint of Clarke:
And what makes you think that my dear sister?
CoolBitch:
You have a VERY defined jawline if i do say so myself Commander
Better Blake UwU:
I second it
Panda mf:
If you tried you can probably cut wood with it
CoolBitch:
No no not wood
METAL
Permanent TrashPrince:
My aesthetic right now is every girl in this group chat flirting with Lexa
*tries to be optimistic about life*
Guys stop
SHES ABOUT TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST
Better Blake UwU:
We're just messing with you Lex
We know Clarke has your heart
CoolBitch:
AND IM JUST BEING HONEST
Candle Addict with a hint of Clarke:
WERE NOT DATING OKAYY??
Just friends jeez
I Suck Dicks:
Whatever makes you fall asleep at night
Better Blake UwU:
ANYWAYSSS
Now that were complete because i can see Clarke walking towards us
Where the fuck are we going?
CoolBitch:
I say 7/11
Panda mf:
Really?
CoolBitch:
Why not?
We can buy food from there and eat at the side walk, theres also skateparks and some random places we can go run around in
Permanent TrashPrince:
I SAY LINCOLN SHOULD DO THE TALKING WHEN WE BUY SOMETHING
I feel like he's the only sane one here and the closest to looking like an adult
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
Hey guys
CoolBitch:
Ayyyy
We're finally complete
Mi familia
I Suck Dicks:
Were just trying to figure out where to go next
Candle Addict with a hint of Clarke:
And possibly dinner if we have to
I'm starving
Permanent TrashPrince:
Not used to not abiding with your athletes diet Lexa?
Candle Addict with a hint of Clarke:
Something like that
Snorter:
And i just realized how hungry i am
Panda mf:
You're alive
Snorter:
Now that I'm here this gc from now on is going to be full of relatable memes
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
Pls dont
O already sends a bunch of tiktoks
Snorter:
Too late
[when-its-summer-but-you-have-depression.jpeg]
Panda mf:
Relatable for 90% of us
CoolBitch:
So klorky who were you talking to?
Candle Addict with a hint of Clarke:
Yeah
Who
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
Ohh
I was talking to Finn and he wanted to ask if i was going with anyone for the dance in a few weeks
Better Blake UwU:
And you said??
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
Nobody duh
CoolBitch:
I don't know if i should be pissed or something else
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
...why?
CoolBitch:
NOTHING
Absolutely nothing Griff
I Suck Dicks:
Its more like
Now that he knows you dont have anyone yet, he'll probably try to ask you
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
Oh
Well if anyone wont in the next few weeks I'll probably have to
Last brain cell standing:
You know you don't really need a date all the time for a school dance right?
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
Yeah i know but it's always been a fantasy of mine since i was a kid
You know...be with someone and get the most experience? We're in high school for fucks sake and will be in college in less than two years
*tries to be optimistic about life*:
I understand that a lot Clarke
I have similar intentions
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
Then it looks like we're gonna get along just fine Lincoln
Sand Licker:
You alright there Lexa? I can see you staring off into space from here
Candle Addict with a hint of Clarke:
Yeah
Its probably just the alcohol or something
Soooo 7/11 it is?
Permanent TrashPrince:
Why the hell not?
Better Blake UwU:
Hell yeahh
CoolBitch:
YESS
APPROVED BY THE ONE AND ONLY COMMANDER
I Suck Dicks:
Im down if you guys are
*Fuck's Lexa for her People*:
Always
Sand Licker:
Might as well right?
*tries to be optimistic about life*
Cmon Luna
Have fun for once
We're finally part of an actual group
Sand Licker:
Fine
CoolBitch:
Don't worry
You'll love us;)
Snorter:
Someone's going to have to help me up
CoolBitch:
Next stop for the delinquents: 7/11
Better Blake UwU:
The delinquents are back bitchess