Chapter Text
the seven groupchat!!! (and reyna) (and nico) (and will) (and artemis for some fucking reason??) (til thalia and artemis share a phone)
(15:21, 15/09/22)
fun police: help.png
fun police: You skip one class because of a conflict with self-interest and now you're in danger of failing the damn course
fish sticks: dam course lmfao
fish sticks: anyw geez u'll live beth ur the smartest person i know
fish sticks: what is that btw
fun police: Homework.
fish sticks: oh my fucking gods maybe u r screwed
fish sticks: WTF even is that????
superman: It's just some maths equation
superman: i definitely can't do it but catch leo after his class
fun police: You know what? Good idea. Thank you Jason.
superman: :)
fish sticks: i cant believe that she's nicer to u than me
fish sticks: genuine betrayal
superman: Hey, she stole my best friend
superman: Piper and I are a package deal
beauty queen: hell yeah we are
beauty queen: annie u getting lunch?
fun police: It's 3pm.
beauty queen: and
fun police: Sure. Coffee place?
beauty queen: see ya in 20
superman: you know what i'm being excluded too nvm
(17:30, 15/09/22)
xxTHUNDERBOLTxx: y'all we're leaving CJ now
xxTHUNDERBOLTxx: if you need anything give me a call
furry bait: thank you thaliaaa
furry bait: and also thank you for helping out in war games
furry bait: and thank you for not murdering lavinia when she hit on you
xxTHUNDERBOLTxx: any time
Reyna: wait, lavinia hit on you?
xxTHUNDERBOLTxx: she hit on all of us
xxTHUNDERBOLTxx: and you see while the hunters are sworn off of all types of relationship, artemis would probably have less harsh punishments if we did end up with a woman
furry bait: Oh so she'd let you go?
xxTHUNDERBOLTxx: nah, just instead of killing you maybe she'd only remove a limb or two
furry bait: Okay! I need to go clean some weapons! Bye!
Reyna: so artemis didn't notice?
xxTHUNDERBOLTxx: bingo
xxTHUNDERBOLTxx: not that i care anyway lavinia's spunky i love that kid
Reyna: i'll... pass that on
Superman: wait thalia have you left yet
Superman: :(((
xxTHUNDERBOLTxx: yeah, whut up?
Superman: fuckkkk
Superman: i'm now back from my classes and i realised i actually have to clean the house
Superman: because SOMEBODY fucked it up last night because of a petty argument
Superman: (cough Will cough Nico cough Percy)
xxTHUNDERBOLTxx: yikes good luck bro
Superman: thanks i'll need it
sugar mommy: Jason, want me to help? I have some time to kill
Superman: isn't the senate meeting in 30 minutes
sugar mommy: And? I'm outside your door
Superman: okay i'm used to nico excessively shadow travelling but it is so weird coming from you
sugar mommy: :p
Superman: :)
Sunshine Boyfriend: hazel >:(
Superman: ABORT! ABORT!
(18:12, 15/09/22)
death king: hazel will wanted me to give you an older brother lecture on why you shouldn't shadow travel so recklessly
death king: you're pissing him off so keep it up lmfao
sugar mommy: :D 👍
sugar mommy: I'm told i can adapt to things easily
sugar mommy: it only took me like 2 weeks to figure out how computers worked!
death king: you go sis
death king: you go
Private Message: Piper >>> Percy
(18:19, 15/09/22)
Piper: leather was the right pick btw
Percy: told ya
Piper: how's ur apartment
Percy: positively dead but i just
Percy: didn't clean it
Percy: so jason has to do it lmfaoooo
Piper: he's gonna hate you
Percy: mood
Piper: u ok?
Percy: yeah i'm just being funny
Piper: u aint funny bud
Percy: :(
Percy: i once made annabeth laugh from a knock knock joke you know
Percy: i mean it was out of pity
Percy: but still
Percy: it was a laugh
Piper: you are, like, the biggest mess i know dude
Piper: and leo's my best friend
Percy: sounds about right
Percy: speaking about messes i got a text from jason LMAO wish me luck?
Private Message: Jason >>> Percy
(18:23, 15/09/22)
Jason: meds.png
Jason: Bro i had no idea you were on so many meds wtf are you okay????
Jason: i don't recognise like 90% of these
Percy: oh shit uh
Percy: you don't have ADHD meds?
Jason: They're the ones i recognise
Jason: but y'know what nvm
Jason: where tf do you want me to put them
Percy: just put them in my bathroom
Percy: ACTUALLY on second thought just leave them on my bed i'll sort them later i'm heading back now with a taco bell
Jason: okay!
Percy: ty for cleaning jason
Jason: I'm still angry at you btw
Percy: damn it
Private Message: Piper >>> Percy
(18:30, 15/09/22)
Percy: yeah he's still mad
Percy: but at least he didn't give my pills a surprise taste test
Piper: 1: that sucks and 2: that would be such a jason thing to do lmao
Percy: it's giving stapler at 2 years old
Percy: get him a stapler for christmas?
Percy: i'll buy it and you can make it super boujee
Piper: deal
the seven groupchat!!! (and reyna) (and nico) (and will) (and artemis for some fucking reason??) (til thalia and artemis share a phone)
(20:39, 15/09/22)
Sunshine Boyfriend: y'all
Sunshine Boyfriend: dad gave us a blessed bow with arrows that always hit a target right?
Sunshine Boyfriend: well one of the hermes kids stole it and started firing it all willy-nilly
Sunshine Boyfriend: there are EIGHT different kids here with arrows stuck in their ass
Sunshine Boyfriend: well there were because I had to heal them all by myself because i'm the only healer year-round nowadays
Sunshine Boyfriend: i need either a beer or a massage
Sunshine Boyfriend: i'm not picky
death king: i can kill you if u want
Sunshine Boyfriend: nico i love you but i just had to heal 8 arrow wounds at short notice by myself and then we had our fancy bow confiscated
Sunshine Boyfriend: now is not the time to threaten me with death
death king: sorry
Sunshine Boyfriend: oh gods now you're sad
death king: no i'm not
Sunshine Boyfriend: should i go to cabin 13?
death king: yes
Sunshine Boyfriend: omw then
Sunshine Boyfriend: this camp is fucking exhausting
(20:51, 15/09/22)
literally hotter than you: hey if it makes you feel better it wasn't your fault
literally hotter than you: unlike the building i burned down yesterday
literally hotter than you: and the bite i got from a telkhine in the fucking fish department of the grocery store
literally hotter than you: and the department store in town that mysteriously set on fire because of a "gas leak"
fun police: Leo, what the fuck.
beauty queen: ARE U OK
literally hotter than you: could do with some ambrosia maybe
literally hotter than you: or that works too okay
fun police: ?
literally hotter than you: willandnico.jpg
literally hotter than you: nico took our resident healer here lmao
beauty queen: hasn't will been through enough tonight?
Sunshine Boyfriend: nah i'm fine
beauty queen: my dude you look outright murderous in that photo
Sunshine Boyfriend: i'll kill nico for shadow traveling
death king: oh no kill me and send me to the underworld it's not like i have an exit or anything
fun police: How even?
fun police: Actually, I retract that. I don't wanna know.
death king: i won a monopoly game against dad
fun police: Actually, that makes a lot of sense.
(21:32, 15/09/22)
Superman: Percy where's my taco bell it's been 2 hours???
Superman: percy
Superman: dude are you okay?????
Reyna: percy.png
Reyna: He tripped on the sidewalk, called me to come get him, and passed out.
Superman: oh for fuck's sake
Reyna: Also, he was carrying a brick, which landed on his foot and now he has a few broken toes.
Reyna: I'll convince him to take a bath when he wakes up but for now he's just hoarding my couch.
Superman: of course he was
Superman: thanks reyna, keep him safe
Reyna: Of course. Want me to doordash you a Taco Bell?
Superman: yes
Superman: oh gods please yes