Chapter Text
Scar was a small ball filled with nerves on the brink of exploding. He was bouncing his feet up and down as he waited on the steps in front of the castle until he got let in. He was rereading his script like a million times, making small last-minute adjustments. He was so scared that it wouldn’t be good enough for the prince.
He was one of the only people who got hand-picked by the prince to be invited to perform some of his work. Most of them were picked by the assistants of the king and the queen. But not Scar. Prince Xisuma had reached out to him on his own, a handwritten letter sent by a pigeon. It was one of his most prized possessions of Scar.
And now he was here, dusting the grime from his clothes another time as he heard footsteps from the other side of the door. It swung open and Scar just watched how the man, one of the workers, waited for Scar to join him inside. Scar bowed down slightly, he had no clue how to act. What to even say, even. He wondered if there was a right thing to say in this type of situation or if it was to just be silent.
“The prince is waiting for you inside.” Scar hummed slightly and followed the guy to one of the many rooms. From living in a tent for the past months, being inside this castle was something Scar never even dared to dream of. This felt too good to be true. To have the ability to be here, to have been granted the chance to perform for people like the royal family.
“Would you like anything to drink?”
“No thanks.”
The guy nodded his head, walking past the kitchen and to the back of the castle where there was a door. He opened it, leading to the big back gardens. Scar’s eyes widened as he gazed over the fields of flowers and plants. Every single one of them was faultlessly placed and precisely taken care of. At the rearmost side of the garden was this beautiful, yet dainty, open-air theatre.
“You have a bit to prepare. The prince and his comrades will arrive soon.”
“Okay. Thank you so much.” The man didn’t say anything else. He instead pointed his nose up high in the sky and spun around, walking away. His hands swung in a similar rhythm as his hips, both swaying with every step he took. He looked pretentious, that was all Scar could think about him. Just a pretentious little boy who probably felt too good in Scar’s presence. Scar knew he wasn’t the most adequate playwright who has performed for the prince before, but he was still a person. A person who was worthy of getting the same treatment as everyone else. His money nor his upbringing should have had any effect on this.
“Good day, sir.” Scar’s eyes shot up and he met sights with Xisuma who was standing right in front of him. He looked so different than Scar would have ever expected. The only time Scar had seen the prince was when he was drawn as a portrait, and for some reason, the people would always take away some of the prince’s most noticeable features. For example, his bright and kind eyes welcomed Scar with just a single gaze. Or his lips were curled into a soft smile. The slight stubble he had on his upper lip and the number of wrinkles he had on his forehead. Scar just stared at him until he spoke again. “You must be Scar, correct?” His voice was like it was honey, laced with some kind of twang. However, it wasn’t unpleasant to listen to, not at all, actually.
“Y- Yes, sir. My name’s Scar. It’s an absolute honour to meet you.”
“Mutual. I can’t wait to see what you have prepared for us. I hope you don’t mind I invited some of my acquaintances, right? This is Wels and this is Jevin. Both are some of my knights.” Scar shook his head. “My parents will join us in a second too.”
“I- I hope you will enjoy it, sir.” Scar bowed another time, his knees shaking vigorously. He wished his friends were here, people he could lean on. He could really use some support right now. However he had to do this alone, even is his whole body was vibrating because of the sheer amount of anxiety he was feeling.
“Hey, we don’t bite. Maybe my parents, but I will make sure that that won’t happen, okay?” Scar chuckled.
“Thank you, sir. But I am fine… Just a bit nervous, that’s all.”
“and with tooth and nail, he did tryeth to keepeth his lover to stayeth. He did caterwauling up at the sky, beseeching God and cursing his name as 't wast him who is't did hath't damned him this inevitable faith. 't wast him who is't did separate him from his lover.
He still remembers how his hands would fold into his, an undying fire yond wast only growing warmer and brighter. Sparks would literally fly off of those folk whenever they did hold each other. They did need nothing moo but each other. Nothing moo, but their love for each other.
And under the starless night sky, bawling wast did hear. A kind of caterwauling like baby doest for 't’s mother. A howl to the moon as his hands did groweth bitter cold. The fire did hath't been did dim and all wast thither wast just ash and a desire to beest did love again.”
Scar ended his story with a small, awkward bow. He was too nervous to look into his audience, knowing that if he had disappointed the royal family, he would never let himself live with it. But too much to his surprise, he could hear some clapping. Scar tilted his head upright to see Xisuma being rather enthusiastic. He looked like he was impressed.
“I adored it!” Scar felt his heart pounding in his chest, a weight had finally been lifted off his shoulders by these three small words.
“Thank you so much, sir. It means the world to me to hear you say that.”
“It was… Different,” the queen muttered, “It really was different. That is as much as I can say.” Scar noticed how prince Xisuma rolled his eyes at the comment of his mother. Scar just nodded his head ever so slightly.
“So the two characters in the story… The protagonist, so to say? He is… queer?”
“If you’d like to word it like that, yes. Yes, he is.”
“And you think that that’s acceptable to read in front of the royal family?” Scar was a bit taken aback by the king’s comment. He didn’t even think about it. He didn’t even think about how progressive the royal family might be.
“Uh- Uh…” Scar was stammering. Words were like a knot, all tied up and bundled together and he couldn’t seem to untie the sentence that he was trying to convey. Instead, he just stood there as a pathetic attempt of an excuse left his mouth and got vomited out, disappearing into thin air. His attempts at explaining himself quickly started to become silent whispers that were all left unheard. Scar knew his face was burning, his cheeks feeling like they were on fire. He was trying really hard not to burst out in tears, knowing that would only add to the embarrassment.
“I thought it was very nice to see something else for a change,” Xisuma said, standing his ground. “I honestly have had enough of those people that come here, all telling us the same story.” Xisuma looked at his parents, a daring glimmer was shining in his eyes. “You know what. I liked it so much. Scar, how would you feel if you got to perform at our ball?”
“What? Really”
“Yeah! I think our guests would love to see you perform. Don’t you think so too, mother, father?” Xisuma knew that his parents couldn’t start an argument here, right in front of these people. That would ruin their perfect reputation. No, he was willing to take the punches twice as hard later.
“S- Sure…”
“Well, then we have a plan. Scar, I am very thrilled to invite you to the annual royal ball. You are allowed to bring one guest.” Xisuma was too kind, too nice, too friendly. His eyes curled up as he showed Scar one of the most genuine smiles he had seen in a while. Scar bowed another time.
“I don’t know how to say thank you.”
“Oh, you don’t have to! It’s an honour to have you perform.”
Scar felt like his head was in the clouds as he walked home. The whole world looked a bit brighter like the sun was finally reaching his sight after having been hidden behind branches for so long. His whole body felt light like he was a feather, taken away by the wind. He would let mother nature take full control of where he would end up, himself not doing anything that could change the outcome of what the world wanted.
It was a strange feeling, however, to be wanted. Scar never felt like he was ever truly loved, ever truly appreciated. It always felt like he was a stranger to everyone around him and that no one really knew who Scar was exactly. They knew parts of him, most often just his creative side or the side that is always happy and always tries to find the positive in everything. But there was so much more going on than just that. He was anxious and doubted himself more often than he believed he was capable of succeeding. He too had nightmares late at night about everyone leaving him, just like everyone else. He was just another person and before he would know it, he too would get lost in the crowd. Completely forgotten about time and people who are much more special, talented, important than he could ever imagine.
Scar’s biggest fear was probably to be forgotten. He wanted his legacy to be known, to be seen and to be heard. He wanted the name Scar to become something bigger than he could ever be. So he wrote. He wrote day and night in the hope that one day he would be discovered.
And today, he was found. A light reached the tunnel and a hand that finally caught him. He was found. There was someone who liked his work, who saw him and the potential he had.
“You really embarrassed us, son.” Xisuma just nodded. Saying anything else than agreeing with his parents wouldn’t be ideal for him. “Inviting someone without even discussing it first with us. And also an outsider? Were you out of your mind?”
“No, father.”
“Then why did you do that? We cannot return the invite, that’d be cruel!”
“I just thought it’d be good to invite someone more interesting for once. I thought that maybe the guests would enjoy having some entertainment too.” The king sighed.
“How could you be so foolish?”
“Father…?”
“I trusted you. I trusted that when you organised this whole thing, you wouldn’t invite people like Scar into our home! I had more faith in you, Xisuma.”
“What does that mean? People like Scar? What is different about him from all the other tens of playwrights we have seen? What makes him an outsider and not part of our folk? What makes him-” Before Xisuma could finish his sentence, he felt a harsh impact on his cheek. Pain similar to needles and stinging nettle flourished across the left side of his face. Xisuma flinched away.
“Don’t speak with such a tone to your father.”
“Yes, father. My apologies, father.” Xisuma’s breath was trembling. “It will never happen again.”
“Good. Now go to your room, okay?”
“Are you going to do anything about Scar?”
“There’s very little we can do now. We just have to accept the consequences that you have caused for us.” And while Xisuma knew he should be feeling bad, he was glad that it was Scar who he had invited. He was glad he had stood up for him and he didn’t regret one single choice.