Chapter Text
“Technoblade?”, Philza hesitantly says his name. It was still odd to hear his name said by another person. He idly wonders if anyone besides Chat has even said it before. He looks over at the other boy. They were walking back together after trading some gold bars with the Piglins, having only stopped once so the boy could take a small break. “Can I..Would it be ok if I flew a bit right now?”
“Well why are you asking me?”, Technoblade expresses his confusion. The blonde blinks, tilting his head slightly before he breaks into a big smile. Technoblade didn’t get him sometimes. How could he be so happy at the obvious? He was a dork if you asked him.
“Will you watch me?”, Philza asks again hopefully, bouncing on the soles of his feet. Technoblade shrugs. Even he could admit he was interested in someone taking flight. He thinks of the way the boy had came almost crashing in the first time, barely able to carry himself off the ground. He nods.
“Yeah. Better keep an eye on you.”, He says.
“Hey! I know how to fly.”, Philza says with a pout before he takes a few steps back and runs in place a bit to ready himself, wiping the sweat on his face with the back of his sleeve. “Ok, stand back and watch then, I’ll show you!”
“Sure thing.”, Technoblade says dryly as he steps back. The boy takes a deep breath, giving a running start before he spreads his jet black wings. The feathers are matted together, and the appendages look dull due to the dust that clings to them, but that doesn’t stop him from taking off even so. It almost makes Technoblade want to look away at the way the boy’s feet are only picked up a few inches as he struggles to take off.
“You really are showing me.”, Technoblade says with a snort. Philza ignores him though, concentrating on the task at hand until finally, somehow, he was about a foot off the ground.
“I’m doing it!”, Philza says with a laugh as he glides a bit. The boy sounds winded, but even so he giggles as he moves just a bit higher still.
“Don’t fly over a lava pool!”, Technoblade calls after him helpfully. He takes a few steps, eyes following the flight above. He smiles. He wonders what it must feel like to fly. Philza seemed to love it immensely. He wonders if one day maybe he can find his own way to fly even without wings. He imagines himself next to Philza in the sky but quickly wipes away the thought. Philza wouldn’t be here for that long, he reminds himself. For now, he could watch the boy fly and maybe take notes.
The boy lands, feet stumbling a bit as he reaches the ground. He giggles, spinning a bit once he’s got his bearings before he runs over to Techno, out of breath.
“See? I can flyza!”, Philza says proudly. Technoblade groans at the odd habit the other has coming back in his speech, but he nods.
“Well those wings have to be for something.”, Technoblade says. Philza laughs, and Technoblade bites his cheek to keep from laughing with him.
When he awakes the next day, Philza is still curled in on himself asleep. He shrugs the image off at first. Maybe this was just another one of those breaks the boy needed. He goes off with the potatoes, cooking them himself. Philza was somehow better at cooking the items despite not knowing what they even were before, but that’s ok. Technoblade was used to doing things on his own. He doesn’t know how many mornings he’s done this same thing by himself in fact. Yet there is a feeling in his chest that will not go away.
He doesn’t burn the potatoes this time on account of the fact that he hurries the process up, feet going back to the cave to see the still sleeping figure there. He frowns, setting the pan down before leaning down next to Philza, nudging the winged boy.
“Philza?”, He says. “It’s time to wake up.”
A groan leaves the boy's lips followed by a warble. He pauses at the noise. He’s heard the occasional chirp from him, but never that noise. He frowns. It almost sounded painful. The boy finally opens his eyes, looking up at the Piglin with bleary eyes.
“Technoblade?”, The boy mumbles.
“It’s already morning.” Or at least he thinks it is. Time was one thing he wasn’t too sure of here. He just chalked the morning up to when he woke up and the night as when he went to bed. Philza wheezes, curling more in on himself.
“Can I stay here today?”, He asks quietly. Technoblade blinks. Usually the boy was eager to follow him everywhere. He wants to say it’s unfair he does everything alone that day, but he doesn’t really care. He was ahead of most things with the extra help Philza had given him during his stay. He nods.
“Alright.”, He says. Philza nods, almost looking relieved before he closes his eyes. His flushed face looked even more red that day. He thinks it must be the lighting. “Thanks, Technoblade. You’re a great friend.”
Technoblade swallows. Friend?
“The Nether is my only friend.", He says before he can think of the weight of the word.
"Oh.", Philza says back. He swallows. "I guess it is warm huh?"
"Yeah.", Technoblade says, relieved he understood. His knees were already beginning to ache from being kneeled next to the boy. He stands back up. How could Philza not be hurting from laying there for so long? He shakes his head. "Sleep on my bed. I'm not using it anyways."
"Are you sure?", Philza asks.
"I wouldn't offer it if I wasn't.", Technoblade says. Philza nods, a thanks falling from his lips and he pulls himself off from the ground, moving to the bed and practically collapsing onto it. A gasp escapes him as his body sinks into the cushiony surface, a few chirps leaving his lips. Technoblade blinks. He thinks he's never seen the boy look more relaxed in his life. "I made it myself. It's nice right?"
"Yeah.", Philza responds as he curls up on the soft surface. "You're really amazing Techno…"
Technoblade blinks at how the bird shortens his name. Philza’s eyes are still closed, so he allows himself to smile. "Well, I'll be back later. Byee."
"Bye mate..", a drowsy reply comes.
He eats his portion of the potatoes and leaves the rest beside the sleeping boy before he quietly leaves with his pickaxe. The walk there is silent besides Chat's murmurings and the natural sounds of the fiery lands. For some reason Chat was still stuck on the brief conversation he and Philza shared before he left, saying odd things.
"Wow, cold."
"L"
"Philza = friend?? Hello??"
"E"
"Of course you guys don't understand. He's going to leave.", Techno says bitterly. He rarely entertained chat when they weren’t on his side but this was different. "He's not going to stay. Why would he stay here?"
Chat scolds him, already firing arguments on why he is wrong, but he blocks them out, walking to the mines and picking away at the material of the walls. It's eerily quiet without the sound of a twin pickaxe working next to him. It makes the silence in the air feel heavy to not have Philza's occasional talks. Even just the two of them being together, both silent, was easier than whatever this was. He pauses. This was going to be the rest of his life. Alone, and quiet, and without anyone there besides the land he walked on and the voices speaking to him. What an awful thought.
He doesn't expect the tears that fall from his eyes. He quickly wipes at them, trying to deny they were ever there in the first place. He's sure if Philza was there he would question what was wrong. It made more tears fall. He's not sure when the last time he cried was. He always tried to steal such a pitiful action back. He was eleven years old after all. He was big, mean, and scary. He was a monster people feared from sight alone. Doing things like crying over something that did not happen yet was not something monsters did.
Chat murmurs pity that he blocks out. He did not need that. He wipes away the last of the tears that fall before he grabs his pickaxe and goes back to work. He doesn't work as long as he usually does that day admittedly, something in the back of his mind hoping Philza would be awake by the time he comes back home.
When he steps into the cave the figure on the bed is unmoving save for some raspy breaths. Still sleeping. He wonders if Philza hibernates too. He guesses some birds must do it after all. He looks away, pouring himself over the work of making a new crossbow. It doesn't look quite right in the end, but he settles on it as the desire to sleep creeps into his mind. He looks over at the boy still sleeping in his bed. He was still breathing heavily, his face red, but he was curled in the soft blankets so maybe it wasn’t too uncomfortable for the boy.
He stares at the sleeping figure a moments more before he lays down on the floor. If Philza did it every night then so could he right?
As hours pass on, he thinks it's easily the worst sleep he's had.
He wakes unnaturally to the sound of covers shifting. He blinks out of his uncomfortable sleep, turning and seeing Philza step off the bed and leave through the mouth of the cave. He took nothing with him. Technoblade stays there, silent.
When he had imagined Philza leaving, he didn't think it would be like this. His heart feels heavy in his chest. He thought maybe the boy would at least offer him a goodbye, but maybe this was hard on him too. He puts a hand over his face before he sits up. He knows he won't be able to sleep now with this revelation. He turns and sees the sword he had created for Philza sitting next to his own.
He frowns. The bruises on pale skin and the way the boy had uttered the few sentences about life before he came here play in his mind. He gets up and grabs the sword on instinct, feet running. Philza could leave if he wanted to. He would not be like the humans telling him what he can and can't do, but he needed him to have this. He needed the knowledge that the boy was ok, that he had this sword to protect himself, otherwise he thinks he would go crazy with the possibility that he was out there somewhere trapped again. That people were hurting him again.
"Philza!", He calls out as he looks around. He looks to the air. It would be fitting for him to come and go free as a bird. But he is not there. He casts his eyes downward, in front of him. Philza was there, hunched over with his hands on his stomach, heaving chunks onto the ground, ugly noises leaving him. He stands there for a moment, unbelieving what he’s seeing before he runs over.
"Philza- What's happening?", He asked, panic rising. He's never seen anything like this before. The contents on the ground looked sickly, and emitted a foul smell. "Is this just another bird thing? What is happening?"
"I'm sorry.", Philza says finally, seeming to be done doing what he was before. He whimpers, sweat shining on his face and soaking into the green shirt he came here in. "I'm sorry, please don't make me leave."
"Heh?! Why would I do that? I thought you were leaving now!", Techno exclaims. Philza slumps over, unable to carry his own weight anymore, a pained gasp and warble leaving him.
"I don't want to leave. I'll be ok. Just need sleep. Please.", Philza is almost begging. His words sound funny from the way he slurs them.
"Sleep? But you've been sleeping so much.", He says. He shakes his head, hoisting Philza up and helping him stay upright on his feet. "Let's just go back home ok? But you have to tell me what that was."
It's a struggle to move their feet in tandem, and for once he thanks the gods the bird is so small and frail enough despite the extra weight of his wings to be helped back without too much trouble. When they get there he helps Philza onto the bed without a second thought, the boy not putting up a protest to the action as he sinks into the mattress.
"Alright. Now spill it. What was that?", he asks. He hates not knowing answers. Something inside him told him what he just witnessed was not good at all.
"Technoblade..", Philza says weakly before he smiles. "Is it really ok if I stay here?"
"I already told you it is! But you're ignoring the question-" The boy sniffles slightly before giggling.
"Philza if you don't answer I'm going to burn your potatoes for a week. I’m serious.", He says, which only causes the boy to giggle more. Technoblade breathes through his nose, trying not to join in on the strange laughter.
"Techno..I think I'm sick.", The boy finally says as the laughter dies down. "I know I'm weak. I'm not strong like you. You lived all by yourself here without a problem, and I can't do it right. Can’t even do it with you helping me..."
"Heh? Sick?", He says. He remembers the chapters in the farm books on healing sick livestock. How they stop eating and grow lethargic and then they die. His ears flatten. That's ok. There was a cure. Always a cure. "Well..we'll just find potions then."
Philza shakes his head. "Techno..No matter how many potions I have I will be sick."
"You don't know that.", Techno says stubbornly.
"Ever since I first got here..I didn't feel so good.", Philza says almost guiltily. He curls a bit in on himself. "It's..really hot. It's too hot. I don't like it at all. It feels like I’m being put over a fire all the time. Recently everything spins.”
“What? But..you always seem ok.”, Technoblade tries to grasp for words. Philza giggles.
“Did I really?”, He asks with a slight smile. He shakes his head. “It’s ok..I’m used to being sick. I can get used to living like this too! I just..I just need more sleep..”
“Will you be ok really?”, He asks. Philza nods. That was alright for Technoblade. He sighs in relief, but still looks intently at Philza. He crosses his arms. “I still think we should get a potion.”
“Too tired..”, Philza complains. He peeks an eye open. “Oops..I’m taking your bed again aren’t I? You can have it..”
“Nope.”, Techno says. He thinks about how awful it felt to sleep on the floor. He wasn’t going to do that again, but he sure wasn’t going to let the boy do that again, especially when he was like this. He hesitates, before he climbs onto the mattress next to the boy. Philza tenses just for a second before he relaxes, letting Techno lie with him.
“Now no one has to sleep on the floor right?”, He says like it’s the only logical solution. Philza nods in agreement.
“Goodnight Technoblade..”, Philza mumbles.
“Goodnight Philza…”
He stays awake listening to the uneven breathing of the bird, feeling the way the warmth radiates from him, rivaling even Techno’s own body heat. He closes his eyes, falling asleep.
The next morning, the feeling of feathers tickles his skin. He opens his eyes as sees the way his long pink hair mixes in with the shorter gold strands beside him. A whine leaves Philza and Techno sits up a bit, seeing the boy is shivering badly. He puts a hand on his cheek, just to feel the coldness that must be there, but all that meets him is warmth. He frowns.
“Philza? Philza wake up..”, He says as he shakes the boy awake. The boy murmurs a bit before he opens his eyes.
“Te’no..”, comes the weak response. Technoblade nods, not bothering to correct him.
“You’re shaking.”, he says. The boy groans, his hand going up and placed over Techno’s.
“I’m sorry..”
“You gotta stop saying that.”, Techno says. He shakes his head. “I’ll make breakfast. You just sleep more.”
He gets a few weak chirps in response which he takes as an agreement. The sight of Philza on the bed, struggling to even breathe, was enough to make him run out of there quickly. He stares at the fire as he puts the food over the flame. The boy had begged him to stay, as if Technoblade was the one who would kick him out. As if this whole time the Piglin hybrid was expecting the bird to get sick of him and the place they lived and leave. The reality was crashing hard onto him, and it almost made him want to cry again. Philza wasn’t going to leave. If it was up to the bird he would stay there and slowly die.
When he walks back in, the normally alert boy does not stir. He’s speaking, something mumbled and frantic that Technoblade can’t fully understand. He goes next to the bed.
“I brought food.”, He says, but Philza is still warbling and saying pleas in his sleep. He stares at the sight and his heart sinks. It reminds him of when he has nightmares. He wonders what the boy is seeing behind his closed eyelids. The food is forgotten, set aside, as Technoblade lays down next to Philza again. “Look, I’m here. Now nothing can hurt you ok? So forget about whatever you’re dreaming about.”
Philza must hear him, because he chirps, and calms, and deflates. He doesn’t feel tired, but something in him tells him if he leaves Philza won’t be there when he comes back. He stares at the ceiling. He knew what he had to do.
A bag is packed with careful consideration. He fit as many potatoes and mushrooms into the satchel as he could, his supply almost being entirely gone but that was fine, it wouldn’t take long for him to get it all back. Despite the bag becoming heavy, he slips in a few gold bars in there. He stares at the sword and wonders how it would fit as well. He looks over at Philza shivering and figures he would have to help him to the portal. He could carry it for him until then.
He plans to wait until Philza wakes up, but as the hours stretched on he knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon. He goes over, shaking the boy gently until he wakes up.
“Philza, it’s time to go.”, He says.
“Go..?”
“Yeah.”, He says. He hopes he won’t refuse. He hopes he’ll see and accept this. But he should have known by now, Philza was stubborn.
“Where?”, The boy asks. He shakily pulls himself to sit up, barely able to do that. Sweat made the blonde strands stick to his face.
“You can’t stay here.”, Technoblade says. The words causes a saddened look on the bird’s face that Techno can’t stand to look at.
“But you said I could stay mate…”, Philza says. He shakes his head. “Just…Just need a bit of sleep and I’ll be fine..”
“You can barely stay awake.”, Techno shakes his head. “If you stay here you will die! I won’t leave you with nothing. I’ll give you supplies and food to last for a bit. I’ll even help you to the portal.”
“No.”, Philza stubbornly refuses. “I won’t go..”
“The portal is hidden away at the other side! No one will notice you!”, Technoblade tries to reason. “I’m not lettin’ you die here!”
“If I go out there they’ll find me!”, Philza blurts out. He’s shaking violently, a tremor in his voice. “I want to stay here. This is my home now…You said I could stay..”
“How can you still call this place a home when you’re dying here?”
“Because you’re here Techno! Because you’re here and you’re nice and you’re safe, and I don’t want to be alone again”, Philza says hoarsely, coughing after the words are blurted out.
“Because..I’m here?..”, Technoblade repeats. The words wash over him like a cold wave. He was a monster. He wasn’t nice or safe. But there Philza was saying the opposite despite dying. He thinks no one has seen him that way. He thinks no one would ever see him the same as the boy somehow does. The bird didn’t want to be alone…
“Mate..”, Philza is saying, almost desperately.
“Ok.” He picks up the packed bag, grabbing both swords. “Can you walk if you lean on me?”
“I-”
“I know you don’t want to go...alone. I’ll go with you.”, Technoblade cuts off. “Past the portal. We can go anywhere we want.”
“You..You really will go with me?..”, Techno nods.
“But the Nether..It’s your friend.”, Philza says as he looks around. He actually remembered him saying that? He scratches the back of his ear.
“Well..I guess. It’s not my best friend though.” He’s not sure where exactly the words are coming from, but they feel right, especially when a big loopy smile spreads on Philza’s face.
“Aw mate..”, Philza says warmly. “I..I can get upza.”
Technoblade groans, but smiles, helping the sick boy sit up and stand on his taloned feet. It’s a struggle to balance themselves and the items they bring along, but they manage a shaky step at a time. The Piglin looks back at the cave he had called his home for as long as he remembered. It was the place that kept him safe and cradled him from the people of the world. But it was no longer a home.
“Almost there..”, He says as he turns back around and they move again. Philza is still shivering despite the hot air around them, and his sweat feels icky against technoblade’s skin, but he doesn’t mind too much.
When they reach the portal and step through, Philza hunches over to keep himself from throwing up again. Technoblade groans and tells him to hold it in as he keeps the boy upright.
It’s a weird feeling to feel sunshine on his skin after so long. He hadn’t made a visit to the Overworld since the day he ran into the bird. He hears a harsh gasp of breath come from Philza who collapses to his knees on the grass.
“Hey!”, Technoblade says quickly as he kneels next to him. He didn’t do all of this just for him to die right there. His beating heart calms when he hears Philza giggle between harsh intakes of breaths. He still looks sick, but somehow he seems to glow just a bit in the sun, as if the rays were making him feel better already.
“Thank you mate.”, Philza says as he looks up Technoblade, a warmth in his eyes.
“For what old man?”, he asks as he sits next to him. He had to admit, the grass did feel nice.
“Hey!”
He laughs, and then so does Philza. They should get moving. His survival instincts told him they should find somewhere to hide out of the open before night, but he sees his friend looking more alive than ever and thinks they can wait just a bit.