Chapter Text
Sonic had not been wrong in the slightest. That must've been one of the worst comedies he had seen yet. And he was referring to the movie this time. Either the humor would be undercutting the romance, or the other way around. There was no winning with romantic comedies.
Thank God Sonic was here to save the day with bad jokes, puns and an overbearing amount of nitpicking.
"I can't even begin to comprehend the jokes here. Seriously, what's so funny about the number one? You almost peed yourself."
"Comedy isn't meant to be the focus, Sonic." Amy pointed out, still trying to watch the film. Emphasis on trying. If she hadn't watched it five times before she wouldn't even know what was going on.
"Yeah that's what we said when the show started out and-"
"Shhh! Ten second cooldown."
"Ugh, fine."
Sonic refused to let any more corny dialog make its way into his head. It was only cool when he was the one producing it. Instead, he internally counted down until he could make it interesting again.
And… one!
"I mean, this whole thing would've been solved if they just put on some pants and talked to each other! Metaphorically speaking. Wearing pants is for losers."
Amy gave Sonic a bit of a look. Nothing specific, just… a look.
"What? You don't wear pants either! You have those… hight socks? Whatever they're called; they don't count."
He leaned down and took a closer look just to make sure he wasn't digging himself a grave. That seemed to amuse Amy, because she giggled a bit.
"That's not why I looked at you like that."
And she left it at that. Almost like she was expecting Sonic to figure it out on his own. Haha, rookie mistake.
"I understand the urge to admire my physic, Ames, but we're watching a movie. Or… were you looking at my arms again?"
Sonic maybe was a bit insecure about his arms. Or a lot. I mean, what kind of creature has their arms the same color as the rest of their body? It always seemed so… wrong.
"No. I was just saying, it's usually easier said than done." she cleared up.
"Wearing pants? Because that's neither said, nor done in my book."
"Ugh, forget it." she sighted, now a bit more than annoyed. "You know sometimes I think you should spend less time alone with Knuckles."
"Or maybe Knuckles should spend less time alone with me."
That got a small laugh out of Amy. Thankfully. He didn't want her to revoke his right to talk over the movie again, so he had to entertain her somewhat. Plus, her laughing was fun… especially because she did so rarely. Ha! Gottem!
"Perhaps."
Amy left it at that, forcing Sonic to do anything to distract himself from the excuse of a movie in front of him. He was running out of bad ways to describe it really.
His first bowl of popcorn had quickly ran out during the credits, and while his second one had survived a good while due to the constant talking, it had started emptying all the same. He knew that much, because his left hand was constantly sweeping the bottom of it, in its search for any spared goodies. Yet the cycle of nature had been repeated, and most of it was now being digested… or not? He remembered Tails mentioning that they couldn't digest popcorn. Regardless, the moment he found that he had to actually look at the popcorn, or lack there of; he knew it was over.
But maybe not. Scanning across the vast ten original so meters, he took a look at Amy's popcorn and… it was half full.
"So, are you going to eat that?" he pointed at her popcorn with a grin.
Amy was a bit caught off guard, too immersed in the masterpiece in front of her. Which apparently was playing on the wall, because she wasn't even staring at the TV.
"Well, at least you're pointing at actual food this time." Amy moved the bowl from the table to the couch between them with her right hand.
"How many times do I have to tell you, I was totally joking? I know a decorative apple when I see one."
Sonic tried to reach the popcorn with his left hand to avoid washing another glove, but it became clear to him that wouldn't suffice.
"You won't have to anymore. Knuckles took care of them last time you guys were over."
Laughing at his friend's usual shenanigans, Sonic simply decided to do the obvious, and reach for the popcorn with his right hand. And then he gained awareness of his right hand… Such a complicated line of events for him to keep track of a limb.
"Uhh… Ames"
"Well… I guess we didn't exclude accidental hand holding after all…" Amy was also looking towards their hands.
"Ha… ha… yeah…"
"You want me to take away my hand?"
"Yeah! I mean- sure, I mean- only if you want t-"
"Sonic if you continue stomping your foot like that I'm afraid you're going to dig a hole in my floor." he looked at him with a worried expression. Worried for her floor, that was.
Sonic sighted.
"Yes please."
Thankfully she did and that was that. It couldn't get wrose from here… still tho, it didn't make much sense. Sonic wasn't the type to get awkward, especially not with one of his Platonic Best Platonic Friends Platonic.
But he could never blame his smooth as butter attitude. Instead, he suspected if maybe it was simply a product of not usually hanging out with Amy, like this. Either they'd do one of her activities, or they would do something fun. Both outside. He didn't like this middle ground.
Eggman was wheezing. No, scratch that, he was crying. He didn't even bother to help Cubot or Orbot as they fought to keep his chair from falling.
"Look, look at this!" Tails pointed at the screen in tears, and rewind a bit. "Look at his expression when he realized" he buried his face in the console.
Knuckles was also giggling along, but fought against it to provide his own share of wisdom. "Oh man, he looks just like me when I ate that apple in Amy's place."
"You've really gone and done it this time, boss." Orbot said.
"Oh, you think that's good? Look at this." Eggman continued the video, but slowed it down quickly. "If you watch carefully you can pinpoint the exact moment Amy's soul leaves her body."
"Oh man, did anyone time how long they were touching for?" Knuckles asked, wiping a few tears off his eyes.
"Fifty five minutes." Tails said.
"As much as I hate to say it, Eggman… your plan has gone great!" Tails said.
"Gone? Oh no my dear fox. It has just started. Cubot, Orbot! Drop the temperature!"
"Drop the what now?" Sticks yelled, confused.
"Observe."
…
…
…
"Just a second…" Eggman said worried.
…
…
…
…
…
"Why is it taking so long? Can't you two bucket heads do something right for-"
"Guys look!" Tails excitedly pointed at the screen.
"Ames… don't you think it's getting kinda cold?" Sonic said.
"We get it, you don't like the jokes!" Amy whined.
"No. I mean literally. It's like… I don't know, like the temperature dropped twenty degrees."
"Sonic, if you want an excuse to stop watching the movie, I trust you can think of something smarter."
"Oh come on, you're telling me you don't feel anything?" he turned to her.
"No I don't. Besides, the thermostat is on. Otherwise we'd already be chilly due to the raining outsi- wait I think I see what you mean." she embarrassingly corrected herself.
"What the heck happened here? It's freezing."
"Freezing? Wasn't it just cold a moment ago?"
"Look I don't know, okay? Why am I even explaining this to you we're in the same room."
"Well, maybe wearing actual clothes helps me from becoming ice cream the moment the temperature drops below thirty. I'll go check the thermostat, see if it's broken."
She lifted herself off the couch, and made her way to the edge of the camera's visible range.
"Won't she see the device?"
"Oh my sweet sweet innocent Tails. I've specifically designed the device to turn invisible after a few minutes of contact. There's no way she would ever-"
Suddenly, Eggman lifted his hand up in the air, shutting everyone up, as he focused on the screen waiting for the comedic timing.
"I'm still not wearing pants!" Sonic yelled in a late response to Amy, totally irrelevant to Eggman's speech.
So, thankfully it never came.
"find it!" he continued triumphantly.
"I don't think it's working. Pants or not, we'll have to put something on so we don't fre- freeze to death. I'll go gr- grab us some blankets."
"I'm not the smartest meathead out there" Knuckles intersected, "but shouldn't it take longer for the entire house to freeze?"
"Well Knockels, we have the cartoon physics to thank for tha-'' Eggman took a worried look behind him. "I- what I meant to say was… I mean they've got their windows closed." he shrugged.
"What the heck!" Amy screamed from the screen, grabbing everyone's attention and saving Eggman even smoother than he saved himself. "Where are all my blankets?"
Sonic quickly rushed into the room with Amy.
"Wait a minute… the thermostat, blankets, the weather machine…" Knuckles gasped, "You didn't!"
"Oh yes I did. Now that you left a blanket there, like I specifically requested, those two will have no choice but to share it!"
"Oh, that's not what I was talking about at all. Never mind."
Eggman looked at him with a disappointed expression. "How can you bear him?"
"So you had planned all this? The rain, the movie, the hand holding? Everything?" Tails asked, for the first time ever impressed with Eggman.
Oh god…
"Are you kidding? Of course not! Steve going there was completely out of my control. I'm still going to take credit for it however."
And, there it went… thankfully.
"Are you joking? How do you only have one blanket?"
"My guess is more lightning bolt society shenanigans. Stopped one of their robberies like a year ago."
"And how come they didn't take this one?"
"Because I've got it locked inside of a box. They probably thought it was something valuable so they left it there."
"Who stores a blanket inside of a box? And why is it blue? Practically everything in your house is pink."
"That blanket just saved you from hypothermia, so I would stop asking questions and start getting comfy."
"Oh yeah, and what about you? We've only got one blanket."
"Ummm… maybe we could… I don't know what if we… share it?" she suggested.
"Yes!" Eggman yelled triumphantly.
"After all these years, all these seasons!" Tails heard a growl. "I was talking about the seasons of the year. Geez."
"And all it took was my genius planning, and a tiny bit of help from you idiots."
"Thank you boss!" "We really appreciate it." said Orbot and Cubot in harmony.
"Not you! Them!"
"Don't be so proud of yourself, Eggman!" Sticks yell sounded uncomfortably not obstructed from a solid floor this time.
"What? How did you- how to-"
Sticks completely ignored Tails' baffled words.
"Even if you do get them to sleep together, the goal was for them to confess to each other. That hasn't happened yet."
"Oh but I'm sure you'll soon find that they- wait are they fighting for the blanket?"
Sonic and Amy's screams turned Eggman's attention back to the screen.
"Not exactly…" Tails specified.
"Why can't you just let me do a nice deed!" Amy yelled.
"You always do nice deeds; now it's my turn. Besides, I'm the hero, remember?"
"For the last time, we're all the heroes here. And besides, if that's your reason to spend an entire night trembling, then it's a bad one!"
"Do I need a reason to forfeit my blanket so that a friend can have a good sleep?"
"Wow, you butchered that line."
"It's my line, I can do whatever I want with it."
"Well it doesn't matter what you think, because you promised to do whatever I say when I allowed you in here. So you can either run through the cataclysm outside, sleep with my blanket, or spend an entire month without chilli dogs!"
"You're ruthless."
"So,which shall it be?"
"I- you know what, no! I don't care about chilli dogs! You're going to cover yourself with this stupid blanket!"
Gasps echoed inside and outside the screen.
"Did he just say-"
"This is incredible. Those two are so determined to be nice to each other, they're almost beating each other up about it." Sticks noticed.
"Let's hope that stays an 'almost'." Tails provided.
"Or not." Knuckles added.
"You're willing to sacrifice your favorite food for a month, just so that you can one up me on a nice deed? Really?" Amy asked.
"Yeah really!"
"Well then… Augh, fine!" she surrendered.
"Yeah really- wait, what?"
"If you're so dedicated to that, then have it your way. But don't come complaining when you wake up with a cold!"
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
And they both headed to opposite sides of the room, not even bothering to look towards each other.
"This is insanity!" Eggman yelled.
"I know right. They've left the TV playing all night! Quickly, somebody needs to go and close it before they get brainwashed!" Sticks also yelled, worried.
"It's alright Sticks. The movie is over." Tails tried to calm her down.
"Oh shut up! Just shut up! All of you, shut up! Don't you see what's happening here? We were on the verge of greatness! We were this close!"
"Now you see why none of our plans would ever work. Those two are bigger idiots than me!" Knuckles said.
"It's like they automatically lose brain shells when in close proximity."
"Well I don't know about you guys, but I'm not bothering here anymore. We'll try again next week." Sticks made her way towards the door.
"No."
With the press of a button, Eggman locked the door in front of Sticks shut. He usually added automatic doors for the style, but they had come in use for once.
"Umm, Eggman, what are you doing?"
"I've bet ten dollars on this, and I will get it. None of you leave this room until we come up with a new plan." He sat down on one of the large chairs.
"And then if we lock them inside the giant crab we can- guys?"
That was it. Even Orbot and Cubot had fallen asleep, and their systems didn't even require it! Those idiots couldn't even survive twenty six continuous hours of being awake. What losers.
Eggman sighted and turned back to the running security camera. It has been nothing but Sonic sleeping, shivering in the cold. He could have turned up the temperature a long time ago, but he was still a villain after all.
And then he saw it. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw someone walking in the darkness. It was Amy, carrying her large blue blanket in the middle of the night. She made her way to Sonic, unceremoniously stubbing her toe in one of the furniture, and yelling a not so family friendly word.
And then she took the blanket and covered a quivering Sonic under it.
It was then that the idea was cemented in Eggman's head. Firstly that they needed to take the show's rating more seriously, and secondly that this ship was too sweet to abandon. He would get those two together even if it was the last thing he did! For the ratings!
And for the ten bucks. And the Fuzzy competition…
"Let's see what we can do…"