Chapter Text
Marinette was on edge. She was a bundle of nervous energy, scanning the students filing back to the school after the akuma attack. She hadn’t seen Adrien after he had dropped her off at the bakery as the attack started and he hadn’t been in the crowd of stragglers at the school when Lila had been taken away.
Had he been hit by those sparks? Marinette swallowed hard, checking for him again. She knew he didn’t like being locked up. Was that his darkest fear? Or was it being isolated again? Adrien was touch starved and fiercely lonely. Would his fear have been being abandoned again to the loneliness? The very thought made her sick with worry.
Then she saw his sunshine hair from behind a crowd of other students. She plunged down the stairs and threw her arms around his neck, tears of relief welling up in her eyes.
“Adrien, I'm so glad you’re safe! I was so worried,” she whispered, holding him tightly. He stood still for a long moment before his arms closed around her waist just as tightly.
“Sorry,” he murmured in her ear, his breath shaky against her cheek and his voice strained. “I never want to hurt you, my… sweet.”
“Forget about me. What about you? Did you get hurt?” She leaned back to examine his face and was startled by the scrapes along his jaw, his red rimmed eyes and the shadows that lurked there. She gently took his face in her hands and he rubbed his cheek against her fingers. “Adrien?”
He stroked her cheek with his thumb, a faint, but genuine, smile tugging up the corners of his mouth. “How could I get hurt with a kiss from my Marinette as my lucky charm?”
She blushed at his sudden intensity, but continued to look him in the eye. “Adrien, what’s wrong? What happened? Did Lila-“
He shook his head and took her hand tightly in his. “Not right now, my sweet. We need to get back to class.”
She looked at him shrewdly, then sighed. “Okay, but only if my prince lets me fill him up with hugs later.”
His smile widened. “I look forward to it.”
Marinette grinned at him, wrapping her arm around his waist. “Step when I do. I won’t let you fall.”
Adrien chuckled weakly and hugged her close all the way to class.
Alya and Nino were standing at their desks, looking nervous.
“Hey, dudes,” Nino mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck as a flush burned up it. “Look we’re-“
“Girl, I’m so sorry,” Alya interrupted, throwing her arms around Marinette in a sobbing hug. “I thought you were just jealous of Lila because she was all over Adrien all the time, but I know you would never steal another girl’s man or tell lies just to tear someone down. It’s just a lot of what she said made sense given your feelings and after that Risk akuma and you trying to get us together to rescue Adrien-“
“What,” her boyfriend exclaimed, looking down at Marinette in surprise. “You never told me that!”
She blushed and she couldn’t help tucking her head down to avoid his direct gaze.
“You should have seen your girl, bro,” Nino boasted with a grin. “Marinette was going all action hero with us trying to find a way to kidnap you off the train or something.” Then it was his turn to blush again. “Sorry, dude. I should have realized that wasn’t your jam. I mean, you’re like my brother, man. I should have known or at least done something. And sorry for not believing you, Marinette."
Adrien grinned and wrapped his arms around his friend. “I’ve missed you, bro.”
“Me too, M,” Alya said thickly. “Honest! I may have been trying too hard to be objective, since you’re my best friend and all, but I should also know when to trust my best friend. Can you ever forgive me?”
Marinette patted her gently on the back. “Of course, Alya. I’m just glad its over. And, when push came to shove, you still had my back.”
“No, I didn’t, but Sunshine here did. Him and Cat Noir. He gave me a serious talking to about how I was treating you.” She had the grace to look embarrassed. “That might have been why I was so upset with you last time.”
“Its okay,” she said reassuringly as Ms Bustier came into the room. “We’ll catch up soon. I promise.”
Throughout the day, other classmates came by to apologize and check that she and Adrien were okay after the akuma attack. Marinette was happy to have the excuse that Adrien had safely delivered her to the bakery before going off to alert Ladybug and Cat Noir. Adrien was oddly quiet.
She noticed his gaze drifting to her face fairly often, a strange, desperate look in his peridot eyes. Grabbing him after school, she pulled him into an empty classroom and shoved a bag of chocolate croissants into his hands.
“First off, eat these. I know you never had time to make it home for lunch.” He just stared at the bag blankly, as if he was confused by why she gave it to him. “Do you remember the day Alya woke me up about the photo leak?”
He nodded. “You said she had awakened you in the middle of a nightmare.”
“I never told you what it was.” She sighed and leaned against a desk. “I dreamed you were trapped in a cage. I was trying to free you, but Lila and your father were just watching silently and there was this dark cloud of butterflies.” She shivered at the memory and he rested a hand on her shoulder in comfort. “The akumas dragged me away from you and into the dark. I tried to get back to you, screamed for Cat Noir to rescue us, but no one could hear me and I couldn’t save you. You comforted me over that nightmare and I didn’t even tell you about it at the time. Please, won’t you tell me what’s bothering you? You have been acting upset ever since we got back to school. You have me really worried!”
He fiddled with the paper bag, rolling the edge between his fingers. “It’s nothing, Marinette. Not really. It’s just… now that Lila is gone… what am I to you?”
Oh, how her heart broke over those words! The hunching of his shoulders, the way he looked down to avoid her eyes, the way he clutched the bag to hide the shaking of his hands all spoke that her prince was afraid. Adrien had faced down Lila, his father, and angry akumas out to get him with less fear than he was showing now.
But he had said he loved her. This whole mess started as a lie and now they both wanted it to be true.
“I want to be loved, but so much of my life is big and showy and fake. I’m a fake. I hide behind a perfect smile and say I’m okay, but I’m not. You’re the only one who really sees me, but sometimes I think you’re the only one who wants me to be me.”
She took a deep breath and gently lifted his chin so he had to look at her. Tears welled up at the emerald edge and clung to his lashes.
“You are Adrien Mud Agreste, the kindest, smartest, bravest boy I know. You’re my best friend and the boy I love. You always catch me when I fall, you help me with physics homework, you’ve protected me from Lila and akumas, you’ve held me when I cried, been patient when I was nothing but a word spewing wreck, and you’re the only one who stood by me through all of this. You’re my hero and my prince and the only way that will change is …” Her words petered out as she realized what she had intended to say, but she trusted him with the truth. “… is if loving me was a lie.”
His eyes blazed with green fire as he grabbed her waist and pulled her into a kiss. It wasn’t just his eyes that burned. His lips were hot against hers and the fingers curled possessively around her neck and waist were feverish. It felt like he was a dry cistern and she was a stream, determined to devour everything she was willing to give to fill the aching void inside him.
And, as she always had and would for her prince, she gave her all. Rising on her toes, she blissfully surrendered to his kiss, threading her fingers through his hair as she pulled him harder against her. He staggered as the unexpected shift pulled him off balance, but before she could back away he lifted her and set her on the desk, his lips never leaving hers. He caressed her cheeks, her shoulders, her back, his hands lingering at the curve of her waist or pulling her hair free to weave his fingers through it.
When they finally parted, they were both fevered, blushing, and trembling in their embrace. He barely pulled away enough to breathe, his panting causing a jolt to go through her every time his lips brushed hers. “You’re … the only… true thing… in my life… Marinette. I was so afraid… you wouldn’t want me… now that-“
She pressed a finger against his lips to silence him, but his eyes were hungry still and he kissed it before moving on to her knuckles and wrist. She couldn’t stop the little squeak that slipped from her lips and he smirked at her, sending her heart racing again. “Adrien, I have loved you since you gave me your umbrella. After all we’ve been through together, I would never leave you alone, even if you didn’t love me back.”
“But how could I help it,” he murmured, his fingers ghosting over her blushing cheek. “You’ve given me so much, Marinette. I don’t… I don’t feel worthy of your love. All those times you were there for me or gave up something for my happiness. You’re amazing, my sweet.”
He pulled her into a tight hug which she returned with equal strength.
“I love you, Marinette. So, so much!”
Tears trickled down her cheeks only to be caught in the weave of his over shirt. “And I’ll always love you, Adrien.” She leaned back and looked at him with a crooked smile. “But you need to get to fencing before you’re missed.”
He rolled his eyes and gave her a mock salute. “Yes, oh keeper of the schedule!”
She snorted and wiped her eyes as he pulled away. “Who do I look like? Nathalie? Get out there, Mud, before someone rats on you to Mr Candy Cane!”
“I’d much rather stay with you, but I’ll go only if you promise to go home and get some rest,” he countered seriously. “You’re tired, my sweet. Now that the Lila problem has been dealt with, you might be able to sleep better.”
As if on cue, she yawned. “Alright, but only because you’re extra cute when you're serious.”
Adrien pressed a kiss on her forehead. “Talk to you later, love.”
She shivered as those words rolled so easily off his tongue, nearly melting on the spot and wondering if she would have to call Alya to come mop her off the classroom floor. He strode to the doorway, confidence and sunshine renewed. He opened the door and paused for a second before going through. He waved at her over his shoulder and the look he gave her was sure to fill her dreams for weeks to come.
———
Adrien was right. It had been a very long day and as soon as she got home she felt her energy start to flag.
“Marinette, Adrien had a good idea about you getting some rest,” Tikki suggested, as Stompp frolicked about her room with Roar and Kalki.
“I know and I’m exhausted, but Cat Noir still has the Snake miraculous and he just… ran from me, Tikki. He looked like he’d seen a ghost.”
“Well, he did say there had been one reset,” her kwami mused. “There’s no telling what happened to him or you before the second chance.”
“I know and that has me worried. Tikki? Do you think one of us got hit and he remembers what happened?”
“Marinette, if he was hit before the second chance, then you wouldn’t remember and he would only remember your reaction. If you were hit…”
“Then only he would remember anyway.”
The kwami nodded as she nibbled on a cookie.
She frowned, releasing her hair from its pigtails to ease the strain along her neck and scalp. “I just have this feeling … like the ground is shifting under my feet… or a wave is hanging over my head ready to crash.”
“The only thing I can tell you is to trust yourself, Marinette. Trust yourself and trust Cat.”
“I think I need a cup of tea and some fresh air. You go on to bed, guys.”
“But don’t stay up too late. Hero in crisis or not, you still have school tomorrow!”
Marinette giggled and rubbed her friend’s head between her antennae.
“I’ll try.”
Going down to the kitchen, she made herself a cup of hot ginger tea with honey. The evening air had turned chilly and she threw on her Cat Noir hoodie before climbing out onto her balcony. She shivered as the light breeze tugged at her loose hair. Curling up under a fluffy blanket she had brought with her, she pulled the hood up over her head and sipped her tea. She watched the sun go down in silence, letting the music of the city wash over her. The rumble of traffic, the occasional clarion call of a car horn, and her father whistling La Vie En Rose as he swept the walk lulled her into an almost meditative state, letting her mind drift away from the events of the day. The city had a pulse, a rhythm that she could only sense on the rare occasions that she was completely able to still her thoughts. It was almost like she expanded beyond her skin, a feeing she wished she could attain in battle because it would be very useful to prevent them from being ambushed.
The scent of ginger and honey wreathed around her and, as she took another sip of her tea, she felt it. A presence behind her … watching… waiting… holding its breath. She sighed.
“I know you’re there, Cat,” she murmured, savoring the warmth of her tea while it lasted. That feeling of something ready to fall was getting stronger and the sense of her surroundings was lost as her adrenaline spiked.
There were three thumps behind her before he landed in a perch on the little table next to her. “Good evening, Princess. I just wanted to check in on you and your parents, since the akuma today was Lila and she was after you.”
His voice sounded casual, but the way he phrased the words sounded practiced… fake.
“I’m tired, Cat Noir. I’m tired of all the lies I’ve had to tell and play along with and deal with for the last month. I’ve had enough of them to last a lifetime, so just tell me what’s on your mind. Okay?”
He shifted awkwardly to sit at her feet on the beach chair. He flicked one of the cat ears stitched onto her hoodie with a crooked grin that only widened when he saw the words blazoned across her chest. “You look good in my colors, Marinette, but I thought I was the cat’s meow.”
She snorted and took another sip of her tea. “You’re something, alright. What’s up?”
She watched as his eyes darkened behind his mask and his hand crept up to ruffle the hair on the back of his head. He wouldn’t meet her eyes. “Marinette… about the fight today…”
“You know,” she said simply.
He removed her mug to the table, leaned around her knees, and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry, my lady, but you trusted me to tell you.”
“What happened? You looked … awful when you ran off.”
She felt his shoulder tense under her ear and heard the breath catch in his throat. Drawing in a shaky breath, he pulled her closer. “You fell under Fright Mare’s hooves. I cried out to you, thinking you were about to be trampled. You used Clout to save yourself, but those sparks hit you full in the face.”
He was trembling against her and she wrapped him in a hug of her own, giving him all the comfort she could offer. She knew what it was like to remember the full battle and the burden it gave her. She could only imagine that Second Chance would be a hundred times worse.
“Your fears were being pulled out of you like black smoke and you were screaming! I forgot about Second Chance when I heard that sound, my lady! I’m sorry! I scooped you up and ran off with you before Fright Mare could see anything. I took you to a hideout of mine just in time to see … everyone. Every akuma victim, your classmates, your friends, the other heroes, Su-Han, Master Fu… I never realized, Marinette, and I am so sorry I haven’t taken some of that burden off your shoulders. I saw myself yelling at you for not loving me… There was a white version of me saying our love destroyed the world… and then there was… Adrien.”
She shuddered at the memories those words evoked … and the fears. “Adrien?”
“Yeah… he… was chained and controlled by Gabriel and Monarch. He… called you by your name.”
She sighed and leaned away from him, wiping away the tears that fell silently. She had no energy left for sobs. “So you know. You know the miraculous Ladybug is just-“
His panther eyes burned and he pulled her in for a kiss. It was rough and wild and made her heart pound for three seconds before he broke the kiss with a shake of his head, cheeks pink under his mask.
Face burning, she grabbed him by his bell and dragged him through her skylight and down into her bedroom. He looked confused for a moment and she glared at him with crossed arms.
He groaned in exasperation, rubbing his face with his hands. “Sorry! Sorry! I know I shouldn’t have done that, but you are not ‘just' anything! The part of you that I loved first was how you did what you needed to do, even when you were afraid to fail everyone. You overcame your fear, faced down Hawkmoth, and won! For crying out loud, you dove off the Eiffel Tower! And you took me along for the ride! You made me believe I could be more than a mask. Sure, you had your weak moments, but you’re human, Marinette! I never expected you or Ladybug to be perfect, you don’t have to be anything but yourself!”
“Yeah? And both versions of my self broke your heart, Cat! I lied to you! I told you I was in love with you and I wasn’t, just so I could preserve my identity! Only it still turned into a meaningful moment for you regardless of turning me down for the mask!” Tears streamed from her eyes as the pent up secrets of the last two years rose like bile in her throat, her voice getting higher and shriller in her hysteria. “Do you know how much it hurt when you gave up your ring because of me? I felt abandoned and horrible! I cried for days! I couldn’t sleep! I barely ate! I wanted you as my partner! I needed you, but I couldn’t return your feelings and, when I was overwhelmed, I turned on you! And, yet, you stood by me when you had every right to walk away and nobody would blame you if you did! Whoever you are under that mask you deserve better than me! Maybe you should just take the earrings and-“
Cat grabbed her hands to stop her reaching for her ears as Tikki swept out of hiding, crying out, “Stop, Marinette! No!”
“Don’t you dare,” he said, so sternly it was practically a growl. “Don’t you dare give up! The Ladybug I know never gives up and, when you’re close, that is when I step in and help you figure it out! And you know what? The Marinette I love wouldn’t give up either. Who planned for every little detail of the fake dating scheme? You! Who suffered in silence under Lila’s threats for a year all alone just so Adrien could stay in school? You! Who survived her first photoshoot for Gabriel Agreste by turning his son into a lovesick idiot? You, Marinette!”
She shook her head, banging her fists futilely against his chest. “But… I’m just a mess and I broke your heart!”
He winced and shrugged. “True, you broke my heart as Ladybug. That’s why I ran away after the fight. I couldn’t bring Ladybug and Marinette together in my head. It didn’t make sense and made too much sense all at the same time. Hey, throw Multimouse into the mix and you had three separate identities you had to play with me alone! Not to mention having the guardian duties thrown at you out of the blue and now Monarch has the miraculous! And yet you’ve still fought more for Adrien than you ever have for yourself! And while Ladybug broke my heart, Marinette always did what she does best. Making people happy and mending what is broken!”
She was shaking all over now, her breaths too shallow and fast to fill her lungs, and the room spun around her sickeningly. Cat scooped her up and carried her to the chaise. Cradling her in his arms, he rocked her gently, letting her cry. His claws rubbed up and down her back in soothing circles, sometimes stopping to stroke her loose hair. Tikki cuddled against her cheek and the soft vibration of a hesitant purr dulled the razor’s edge from her heartache.
When there were no more tears, she drew in a long, slow breath before looking up into his eyes. There was only love and sympathy stirring in their depths, slightly shadowed by worry.
“Feeling better, Princess,” he asked softly, wiping away the last traces of tears.
“I’m so sorry, Kitty,” she whispered.
“We’re going to get through this, my lady. You’ll see. Lila is out of the way now and Alya and everyone else finally sees what has been going on. You’ll have more support again and a little bird told me that a certain Buttercup was madly in love with a very promising designer!”
This last was accompanied by one of the friendly shoulder nudges they often exchanged behind the masks and she relaxed a trifle. She hiccuped slightly as an embarrassed blush burned her cheeks. “Kitty? Are you sure you’re okay? About me and Adrien, I mean?”
The last expression she expected to see on his face was a knowing smirk. “Let’s just say I reserve the right to be the best man at your wedding, Princess.”
“Cat,” she exclaimed, swatting him lightly in the shoulder as she was sure her cheeks went from pink to magenta over the course of his sentence.
He chuckled and pulled her in for another hug. “I told you, Marinette. I just want you to be happy. And knowing you’re my lady, it’s doubly so. Having seen the burden you carry…” The smile fell away as he sighed. “We’re going to get through this, Princess. I promise. You can always count on me.”
“I know I can. I told you I would trust you with everything, didn’t I,” she murmured, closing her eyes allowing herself the luxury of being comforted by her partner without the fear of leading him on. One less shadow lurking in the dark.
As she relaxed against his shoulder, the tension that had been her constant companion since Master Fu had made her the Guardian let go of her. Her mind drifted peacefully for a moment and she let it go undirected. She and Cat were going to be fine. He had been right in saying they were finding a new balance and they would be stronger for it. Sure, he knew her identity and she would have to implement one of her emergency plans, but with his help she should be able to make it work in their favor. It might even throw Monarch a few unexpected surprises. Cat could also help her find a way to keep Adrien safe from his father and…
Marinette jerked upright, her eyes popping open in a moment of blinding clarity.
“My Lady” Cat asked, holding her shoulders to steady her, but his voice was lost in white noise as all the pieces fell into place.
Adrien had asked Gabriel last minute to replace Lila with Marinette for the photoshoot and he had agreed, without an argument from what Adrien said. The man knew she had tested clean for drugs, even allowing Nathalie to send the test results to Mr Damocles, and yet he had refused to let her be in the unusually quick followup shoot just a few days later. It was not the first time he had pulled Adrien from school for a last minute photo shoot, but for Adrien to have had no idea and to be stuck with Lila again when Marinette had been praised by all parties was odd even by Gabriel’s standards. It was almost as if he had been playing her and Lila off each other, but there was no reason for Gabriel Agreste, fashion mogul, to be bothered with the feud between two teenage girls he wasn’t related to.
“Mr Agreste, you need to calm down. I am not sure what the cause of your anger is, sir, but Adrien and I have done nothing wrong and you wouldn’t want to attract an akuma.”
“Foolish child! You have no idea what you’re playing with.”
Everything about their confrontation in the greenhouse had felt wrong, dangerous, and he had been practically gleeful over insulting her and his own son. All three of them had been in high states of negative emotions… and there wasn’t a sign of an akuma, despite the fact that Gabriel had been akumatized twice before. In addition, over-protective parent or not, his excuses for threatening Adrien if she didn’t leave him alone were specious at best and too reminiscent of Lila’s ongoing threat to be mere coincidence.
Lila. Lila had screamed for Shadowmoth and Monarch had answered in person. And while Gabriel Agreste may not have had any reason to interfere with the feud between two teenage girls, Monarch had everything to gain from a broken heart.
Cat shook her. “Marinette, if you don’t answer me, I’m going to have to get your parents! You’re scaring me! Please!”
“Cat,” she gasped as more pieces to the puzzle appeared before her mind’s eye. “He had the grimoire.”
“The what? Who?”
She stood and started pacing around her room, not seeing anything as she worked it out. “Lila stole a book from Adrien and threw it away, but Tikki said it was important so I pulled it out of the trash. It turned out to be the book about the miraculous and Master Fu needed to see it. We took pictures of all the pages so we would always have a copy. Gabriel pulled Adrien out of school for good because of it, so I returned it and acted like an utter idiot of a fangirl to avoid suspicion. But he had the book, Cat! And he told me it was a gift from his wife that she found on a trip to Tibet. That is where the Guardian temple is and Gabriel has a magic ring that can control Adrien. Ugh! Why didn’t I see it before?”
“But Gabriel has been akumatized twice, remember? He was akumatized because the book went missing, and then again a few months ago. Where are you going with this, Marinette?”
She shook her head, waving that idea away. “Easily faked. I fooled you into thinking I was Multimouse. But he-“ She nearly choked as the memory of her nightmare completed the puzzle. “Cat, we need to get Adrien out of there now!”
“Bug, you’re not making any sense! We suspected Agreste before and nothing came of it.”
She grabbed his shoulders and stared him straight in the eyes. “You were the lucky charm, Cat. You said my fear showed Adrien chained and controlled by Gabriel and Monarch, right?”
He swallowed, eyes wide. “Yeah… a sort of puppet rig with chains.”
“There never was a second threat. There was only ever one. It explains why Adrien has never been akumatized, despite everything he has gone through.” She felt the blood rush from her face and all that kept her hands from shaking violently was their grip on his shoulders. “Cat… Gabriel Agreste… Adrien’s father… is Monarch!”