Chapter Text
i know it's been a while, so i've decided to officially discontinue this work. i loved writing this, it was the first work i ever published here, but my mental health hasn't been the best for a while now. maybe i'll continue it, but not now. below, i've pasted everything i had written for this chapter. if you have any questions about it (bc i wrote different parts of the chap) comment down below and i'll answer them
Reki waited the rest of his work day out with little patience. Every free moment he could take he glanced at any time-telling device. His day was filled with counting down the hours and Erika giving him worried looks out of the corner of her eye.
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“I can’t just divorce him! Do you know what we went through to get married?!”
“Yeah, Yeah, I do!” Reki yelled. He felt the nails on his fingers dig into his palm. “You couldn’t get married here, so you just went to Canada instead! You told everyone to go see your stupid fucking ceremony ! Everyone except me!” He vaguely, but painfully, remembered that day when Langa had asked him to not go to the wedding. He didn’t give a reason, he only asked, almost begged that Reki stay in Japan instead of flying out to Canada. “You wanted everyone to go! Cherry, Joe, Miya, Shadow, Oka,” he counted off the names on his fingers, growing a little angrier whenever he raised a finger. “You even told Adam to go!” And Adam did go. He recalled seeing the photos Adam posted on social media. Photos where Adam hugged both Langa and Haru tightly and wished them a happy life together in the caption. And, suddenly, Reki felt his anger deflate by just a bit. “You told Adam to go… you told everyone to go except me!”
“It would have been inappropriate!” Langa yelled back. “You were in love with me!”
“ That would of- what? ” Reki sputtered, almost unable to believe what Langa was telling him. “You think that would have been inappropriate?” he asked him. “Then what the fuck is this ?!” He gestured to the two of them with an angry wave. “What the hell would this be, then!”
Langa’s eyes widened. It was almost as if Reki’s words had shoved him back when he took a step back. He was stunned, too shocked to speak and too shocked to yell back at Reki.
Although he didn’t say anything, Reki knew that he was right.
Still, he wanted to hear Langa say it. He was tired of being the only one that felt guilty about what they were doing and he was tired of sneaking around and going behind Haru’s back and fucking in his bed and fucking his husband and feeling like shit over it when he couldn’t just put an end to things so then everyone else could move on with their lives and then maybe he could too and forget about loving Langa and all their memories .
Langa continued to stay silent, and it almost angered Reki that he chose to say nothing when had everything to explain.
“Langa,” he quietly said, “ what is this? ”
“It’s…” he trailed off.
“It’s what , Langa?”
He didn’t answer. Langa turned his gaze to stare at the floor instead of responding.
Reki didn’t know what it was or even why it was but everything that Langa chose to do angered him. Staying silent, making him feel guilty, looking at the goddamn floor, everything was making his anger rise until he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Langa,” he walked towards him, stepping closer and closer until they were face to face. Reki bent down, just a bit, to shove his face in Langa’s, who only continued to stare at the ground. “ Langa ,” he said again, but he expected an answer this time. “What is this?”
“It’s…”
“ It’s ?” He repeated.
“This is…”
“Inappropriate. Right ?” He sneered directly into his face. Langa went silent again, turning his head to the side to avoid Reki’s glare. Reki huffed and took a step back, running a hand through his hair in frustration. What the hell was he doing arguing with Langa? What good would come out of it? What would be accomplished if Langa admitted that this was inappropriate?
But Jesus Christ Langa was a stubborn motherfucker and Reki should have known better.
“It’s not like that…”
What? “What?”
Langa only repeated his words. “It’s not like that.”
Reki felt his eyes widen. What the fuck was he hearing? “‘It’s not like that’?” He repeated. “As in it’s not inappropriate ?”
Langa nodded.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Of course it is!” he yelled. “Do you know how… disgusting and inappropriate it is for both of us?! Do you realize how fucking stupid you sound? It was terrible from the very beginning!” And it was true. It sucked, it was terrible, for him from the very beginning. “First it was all ‘oh, Reki, you can’t be in love with me, I have a boyfriend’,” he mocked, and he could see the way Langa’s face twisted in… hurt, guilt, emotions, whatever! He couldn’t tell what he was thinking anymore. He hadn’t been able to for a longtime now! “And then it was ‘no, Reki, don’t come to my wedding, I’m gonna marry my boyfriend who I love oh so fucking much!’”
And suddenly Langa was in front of Reki, gripping his shirt in his hands and glaring directly into his face. “Stop it!”
Stop it ? Now he wants to stop?
“You wanna know what the worst part of it was?” he asked Langa, and he could visibly see the way Langa’s eyes widened in realization before narrowing them towards Reki.
“ Don’t say it .”
But Jesus Christ Reki was a stubborn motherfucker and Langa should have known better.
“The worst part was ‘hey, Reki, let me fuck you even though I have a HUSBAND !’”
“ Fuck you !” Langa loosened his grip on Reki’s collar to shove him. Reki stumbled back a bit, but quickly regained his composure.
“Why?” he asked, angling his head to the side. “Because I’m right ?”
Langa threw him a fierce glare and curled his hands into fists, taking a step back away from him.
“ God ,” Reki rolled his eyes, “you can’t even argue because you know I’m right .
…
“He wouldn’t care!”
“Are you shitting me?!” Reki yelled, eyeing him with judgment. “He’s your husband! You married him ‘cause you love him! And because he loves you! What the hell would Haru think about all of this!”
“Nothing, Reki! Haru would think nothing of this!” He growled, his voice laced with some sort of certainty that confused him.
“How do you know that? How the fuck can you be so sure-”
“Because Haru’s been sleeping with other people far longer than I’ve been sleeping with you!”
Reki took a step back, staring at Langa with wide eyes as the man let himself fall onto the couch and covered his face with his hands. He watched as Langa took deep, uneven breaths, almost as if he was trying to prevent himself from crying. Reki didn’t move, didn’t speak, the only sound that filled the room was Langa’s breathing.
“That’s why…” Reki mumbled slowly, continuing to stare at Langa. “That’s why you…” he sucked in a sharp breath. “You were just trying to get back at him.” He felt so stupid . He should have seen the signs, should have noticed that Haru was gone too often for it to be “just work” and should have noticed the way that Langa was always so sure that Haru would never catch them. “You knew I loved you,” should have known how convenient he would have been for him, “and you took advantage of that… to get back at Haru.”
Langa quickly seized his breathing and raised his head. “No, no, Reki ,” he stood up from his seat on the couch. “It’s not like that .” He made an attempt to reach out to him.
Reki pulled away from him, refusing to meet his gaze. “You were just using me,” he stared at the ground, feeling the sting of oncoming tears. He should have known . Why would Langa suddenly want to be with him after casting him aside all those years ago? But Reki can’t help but think back to the day before.
Hadn’t they promised infinity to each other?
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