Chapter Text
The first couple of days had gone by in a massive blur. Scarlett couldn't even remember what had occurred in those days as for the most part, she had been sleeping on and off throughout the days. Right now, Scarlett wouldn't even be able to tell any one where she and Kol were as she didn't even have a clue herself. All she really knew was that the two of them were a safe distance away from Mystic Falls, away from her family and friends whilst some dangerous supernaturally enhanced hunter was skulking around her home town posing a real threat to the ones she cared about. Her loved ones were in danger and yet it was Scarlett who was the one being sent away for own protection, it was all because of this damn broken heart of hers.
Scarlett could still remember Damon's words to her 'Like it or not Red, your health is the biggest priority to me and it comes before any vampire hunter. Right now keeping you alive is the most important thing to everyone here, but being in Mystic Falls is doing you more harm than good.' Those words were still eating away at Scarlett because she knew deep down inside that Damon was right, it was too dangerous for her to be in Mystic Falls as her heart simply couldn't take it any more. Too much had happened in the last year, it had put too much of a strain on an already weak heart.
It was a harsh truth but true nonetheless.
It was also what had brought Scarlett to the bathroom of the motel that her and Kol were staying in at 3am. Her head was going around in countless circles and the only thing Scarlett could do was sniffle as she furiously tried to wipe away any and all evidence of her tears. It had only been a couple of days since she had left Mystic Falls with Kol and she couldn't help but keep falling apart. Prior to this, the longest Scarlett had been out of her home town was several hours. Scarlett was homesick. There was no other way to explain this horrendous feeling that had been bubbling inside the pit of her stomach, threatening to eat her alive.
No matter how much Scarlett hated that small little town that was her home, Mystic Falls was still her home. Her family were one of the founding families, Scarlett had been born here just like her father and his father before him. It was the place where she had lost her entire family only to regain a new one. Mystic Falls was the place where she had fallen in love. It was home to her. Scarlett missed her family, she missed her home more than she could ever possibly ever put into words. Yet that same place was slowly killing her, it was the place that everyone she loved was constantly at risk and she was separated from them for god knows how long.
Scarlett felt rather pathetic getting so upset about being away from her home that she had waited until Kol had fallen asleep so she could sneak into the bathroom, lock the door and cry for a bit. She didn't want him to see the damage. Her heart along with her pride would not allow her to have Kol see her in such a state. After all she was Scarlett Salvatore, she was supposed to be the strong one who always kept her head and knew what to do. She was not supposed to have faltered at a time like this, crying her eyes out in the bathroom. That was not the person who her beloved Nonna Helene had wanted her to be, it was not the person that her father nor her Uncle Zach had raised her to be.
Taking a deep breathe Scarlett once again attempted to wipe away her tears before allowing herself to take a look at her reflection. Her eyes were red and angry puffy mushrooms which was to be expected. It wasn't a pretty sight in the slightest and Scarlett couldn't help but look away as she felt so bad about herself already without her hideous appearance making her feel all the more insecure. Her heart felt heavy because of all the medication and Scarlett knew that all this emotional turmoil probably wasn't making matters any better. She needed sleep. The whole point of leaving Mystic Falls with Kol was so that she could be in a safe environment for a while and be able to talk proper care of herself. With one last fleeting look at her grim appearance, Scarlett slowly shuffled towards the bathroom door and prepared herself to go back to bed to try and get some sleep. But upon opening the door, Scarlett came face to face with the person who she didn't want to see her like this; Kol.
He wasn't sleeping any more. No, Kol was standing less than two feet in front of her, only dressed in pyjama bottoms, his hair a wild mess and those brown eyes that Scarlett adored so much looking at her with a troubled expression. Oh god. He had to have heard her, that much Scarlett was certain of. Why else would he here? Anyone else wouldn't have heard a thing but of course her boyfriend was a 1,000 year old vampire with enhanced senses. Kol probably heard her crying in his sleep, his senses were that good.
"What's wrong?" Kol softly questioned and Scarlett awkwardly tugged at the hem of her vest.
She couldn't lie to him. Scarlett knew that much as Kol knew her, in the short time that the two of them had been together, he had come to know her pretty well. This wasn't like the days in which they had first become acquainted with each other and Scarlett could easily lie about her feelings. Kol could see everything so easily now, everything that Scarlett tried so desperately to hide.
"It's nothing, don't worry about it." Scarlett slowly replied before attempting to slide past Kol, all this crying her made her more tired than usual. All Scarlett wanted to do now was climb back into the semi uncomfortable bed of the motel room they were staying in and sleep for the next fifteen hours. But Kol wouldn't let her move, for every step Scarlett attempted to take to pass by him, he matched it. He was going out of his way to prevent Scarlett from moving and she knew that there was no way that she could get through Kol, her boyfriend was one of the oldest and strongest vampires in existence. All Scarlett was compared to Kol was a weak and puny human with a heart that could barely function.
"It's not nothing."
Right now Scarlett hated Kol. She hated him with every fibre of her being in this second because he was being so damn annoying, Scarlett didn't want to talk about any of this and Kol just wouldn't leave the damn issue alone. But, for as much as she hated him, the love she felt for Kol was ten times more than any feelings of hatred that she could ever hold against him. Scarlett loved Kol so much that it physically hurt her and all she could ever do was pray to whatever god was out there, to not let her love Kol any more than she did now.
"I didn't mean to wake you up Kol, so let's just go back to sleep... I'm fine. I just needed to use the bathroom for a bit."
"If you are so fine, then why were you crying in the bathroom? Something is bothering you, so why won't you tell me the truth? Ever since we left Mystic Falls you've been distant Scarlett and you won't tell me what's going on with you. Talk to me, tell me what is wrong…" Kol stated and Scarlett couldn't help but feel her eyes begin to water again and the only thing she could do was look away from her boyfriend. She couldn't let him see her like this. Scarlett wanted to head back into the bathroom and hide from this conversation but as Kol pulled her into his embrace, she felt herself unable to move.
Her brain seemed to be shutting down and she was powerless to do anything as Kol nipped, caressed and whispered such loving things to her that Scarlett was certain that she would start crying again, or her heart would break.
"Talk to me, tell me what is wrong."
"I-I can't." Scarlett admitted, her voice trembling with emotion as she allowed herself to look into Kol's dark eyes. She loved him more than life itself but Scarlett couldn't tell him what was really going on with her. Already Scarlett had let Kol in to see the parts of her life that weren't pretty but she couldn't allow him to see the darkness that was in her heart. The truth that she tried so hard to hide from everyone. But for how much longer Scarlett could keep this to herself? She wasn't too sure. She had been carrying this within her for so long.
Scarlett didn't want to be like this. She didn't want to be on the verge of tears again and yet when Kol kissed her, it was like the flood gates had opened. Scarlett hadn't been expecting her boyfriend to just kiss her out of the blue especially when they were in the middle of a disagreement or an impasse, depending on who you asked. The tears came in full force and yet all Scarlett could focus on what was happening here and now. This kiss. It was different from all the others. It was like it was a tidal wave of emotions that was knocking Scarlett back senseless. The hopelessness that Scarlett felt deep within herself seemed to be getting pushed back as she felt herself drowning within Kol's embrace. The warmth that his body radiated was the only thing that kept Scarlett standing up right as she was certain that she would be a complete wreck if it wasn't for the fact that her boyfriend was kissing her like there was going to be no tomorrow. He loved her. That much Scarlett had gathered from the intensity that Kol was kissing her. Time seemed to stand still as Scarlett tried to keep up with Kol, trying to convey her feelings with each kiss.
With one last kiss, Scarlett could feel Kol pull away from her and he kept a tight hold on her as he straightened himself up and moved back from her slightly to look her in the eye. Scarlett wanted to look away, she didn't want Kol to see her like this. The whole crying thing always made her face turn into a complete mess, it was unattractive as hell. But Kol was staring at her so intently, his dark eyes seemingly looking straight into her soul that Scarlett was unable to look away.
"I love you. Is that what you need me to say? I love you. I love you. I love you. I will tell you a million times if I have to, if that will ease your discomfort. You asked me to stay with you and I promised you that I would remain at your side forever and I meant that. You don't need to hide any part of yourself away from me Scarlett, there is nothing that you can show me that will make me want to leave. I will stay by your side and make my strength your own, so please don't cry by yourself any more. No matter what happens, I won't leave you. I won't allow you to ever run away from my side! I'll accept your insecurities and doubts. It doesn't matter how many doubts you have, or how insecure you feel. I will be here for you."
"I'm scared." Scarlett allowed herself to admit, allowing herself to look at Kol who was furrowing his brows together as he went about wiping her tears.
Already Scarlett felt like a damn idiot for admitting the truth out loud because it sounded ridiculous? Her of all people scared? She was being raised by vampires, her boyfriend was one as well. Scarlett had seen countless deaths and lived amongst werewolves, witches and doppelgängers. What the hell was there for her to be scared about? She already knew what was out there and went bump in the night. There wasn't a single day in her life that she hadn't been aware of it.
"Of the Five? I know Nik and I may have freaked you out about them and granted we weren't thrilled to hear they had shown up. But they aren't invincible love, a rather annoying pain in the ass I'll admit but they can be dealt with. It's a difficult task but even those uncles of yours should be able to manage them. Nik has had previous dealings with them before and survived! So there's no need for to be scared." Kol reassured Scarlett with a tired smile and she wished that was enough. She wished that those kind and comforting words would be enough to ease her discomfort about what was bothering her.
But it wasn't.
"That's not what I meant." Scarlett whispered in response, barely loud enough for anyone else to hear but she knew Kol would hear her.
"So what do you mean?"
"It's not just the stuff with the Five. It isn't one thing any more, it's everything now! I'm scared all the time Kol and it never used to be like that. I used to be fine. I was the strong one who could deal with anything that came my way but now I can't. It's like I'm terrified of my own shadow… I can't remember when it became like this. But it's like my family are cursed, we are in this vicious circle of death that never ends and I feel like death is hanging over my head constantly now… And there is nothing that I can do about it. My loved ones are in danger constantly and there is nothing that I can do. I'm powerless to help them."
"Powerless, you? Never." Kol quipped in a light manner, trying to lighten the mood but Scarlett just shook her head. She could see what her boyfriend was trying to do and yet it wasn't working. Instead Scarlett felt herself getting upset all over again.
"Then why are my loved ones always suffering? I couldn't help my dad, I was supposed to protect Zach and I failed, instead I ended up losing him. The only way to keep my mom safe is to stay away and I just cause trouble for Stefan and Damon. I couldn't even do anything when your mother was trying to kill you. It is my job to protect my loved ones and keep you all safe but I can't. Instead you all have to go out of your way to protect me because I'm so weak and useless." Scarlett stated through several loud sniffles as the tears started to fall again. She hated the crying but she couldn't help it.
The truth was coming out now. The helplessness that she had been holding onto for so long now was pouring out of her and there was no sarcasm or wise cracks for her to play it off with. The gods honest truth was coming out and there was nowhere for Scarlett to hide. Here she was now, standing in front of the man she loved with her darkest secrets laid out infront of her and he was looking at her like she had shattered his heart into a million pieces.
"I'm supposed to protect you from anybody who could possibly hurt you, and yet I am the person who hurts you the most." Kol replied after a few moments, his eyes darting to the floor with a pained expression on his face.
Scarlett wildly shook her head. That was not what she had meant, she hadn't said what she had said thinking that Kol would go ahead and blame himself for how she was! He was not responsible for any of this. In the time that they had been together, Kol had never hurt her. He had loved her unconditionally. Placing her hands on either side of Kol's face, Scarlett lifted his head so she could look at him properly. She wanted to be able to look him in the eyes when he heard this, that way he would never be able to forget.
"No. No. No. You are perfect, you are everything to me and I love you Kol. I could not have survived everything that has happened without you being here. You're the only thing that has kept me sane recently. I couldn't do this without you." Scarlett admitted as her thumb slowly grazed Kol's check, before leaning in and touching her lips to his.
"If I was strong enough to protect you properly, you wouldn't be carrying all this pain by yourself Scarlett. You wouldn't be hurting and constantly blaming yourself… You would be able to let me protect your heart and not not have to worry about your family because you would know that I will keep them safe. No matter what." Kol replied in a manner as he wrapped his arms around Scarlett's waist.
"But you hate them." Scarlett replied, feeling the need to point out the obvious as Kol and Damon were pretty much 'mortal' enemies but yet Kol chuckled softly but as his laughter faded away, she found him looking at her rather intensely.
"I hate Damon, Stefan slightly irritates me but I adore your mother and what matters most is that you love them which makes them important to me. You made it clear to me a long time ago that your family were the most precious people in your life. If I want to be with you, I have to make sure their safe." Kol admitted and Scarlett was beyond surprise at what she was hearing, she never imagined that she would hear something like that. Their respective families had tried to kill each other multiple times and yet, Kol was still willing to protect hers. All for her sake.
"I'm sorry."
"I know that you are scared, with everything going on and then this stuff with your heart… I can't imagine how frightened you must be. But you are not alone, and you are not powerless because every day you give me hope. Me! Of all people. You taught me to love and you gave me hope for the first time in centuries…. When Esther bound my siblings and I together, I knew that it would only end one way. It would be us or her still standing at the end. Knowing that my own mother wanted to kill her own children was a dark time but I knew I could survive because I had my siblings and I also had you." Kol began, leaning down and resting his forehead against Scarlett's own.
"I don't understand… I didn't do anything." Scarlett grimly replied, her mind drifting off to that awful time that seemed like a life time ago. It seemed like so much had happened at that time that they had kind of quickly glossed over Esther's death.
"You did so much. At the time I was certain that you felt for me, as much as I felt for you even though either of us had yet to admit to the extent of our feelings. But I suspected that if you loved me enough to defy your family and friends to be with me, than that was enough for me to cope with my mother, the woman who was supposed to love me, wanting to kill her children. That hope was like a light that could be felt by my cold heart." Kol admitted and Scarlett felt a small lump in her throat as she hadn't known that. The two of them never really talked about Esther or Mikael and that was at Kol's insistence.
"You make it sound like I do a lot more than I actually do." Scarlett replied, her throat crackling with emotion as even though, she still felt very much hopeless. The pain felt a little more bearable, now that she had shared it with someone. It wasn't like this huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders as it was still there, but now it felt like Kol was supporting her with it and it was a nice feeling.
"Impossible. If anything you don't realise how much you do for the people around you. That crazy family of yours wouldn't survive without you. They wouldn't even last a day and they know it. I know that you feel powerless right now and I know that I cannot give back a fraction of what you have given to me. But I will spend the rest of my life making sure you remember that you are far from powerless ."
For the first time in the last few days, Scarlett felt her spirits were finally lifted. Not everything was fixed as Scarlett still felt terrible homesick and of course she was still worried about all her loved ones back in Mystic Falls. But now she could laugh and worry just a little less and even if she could not that for too long, Scarlett knew that Kol would still be here by her side, and what she couldn't do. He would. "The rest of your life, huh? Don't you mean the rest of my life given that I'm the mortal one here. I have the expiration date whilst you are going to live forever."
"For now, maybe…"
"Maybe? What the hell does that mean?" Scarlett questioned and Kol pulled back from her slightly and flashed Scarlett a rather mischievous grin. That never bode well as it was a sure as hell sign that Kol was up to something no good.
"Marry me."