Chapter Text
Everybody was seated.
The organist - a certain zombie by the name of Jules-Albert - sat behind his organ. His fingers played lazily over the keys.
And Nico bounced on the balls of his heels.
The Wedding was about to begin…
Any minute now, he would be getting married.
Hazel gave her brother a reassuring look. She was wearing her purple best maid dress; Leo, Percy and Frank were beside her in their own matching orange and purple - respectively - garments.
"This is it…" Nico murmured. "The big day…"
"I know," Hazel squealed.
"You're gonna do great!" Leo held his thumbs up. Nico smiled.
"Thanks."
Nico looked to the front row of seats on his side of the aisle and gasped.
"How long has our father been there?" He asked Hazel.
"What?" She looked at the seat. "I thought he said he wasn't coming."
"Me too." Frank said.
"Well, he's here now," Hazel said. "...and I guess that's all that matters."
Nico nodded.
"You're right. You're right."
He fidgeted with his tie and jacket quickly.
"Nico, stop!" Hissed Hazel. "You'll mess yourself up for when Toby gets here. We've already dunked your head in water once this morning. I will do it again if I need to."
Nico ceased his fidgeting. He looked down at the floor shamefully.
"There he is!" Connie extended her arms. "My sweet little groom!"
"Ma!" Toby chuckled. His mother pressed a kiss to his cheek.
"You look so handsome like this…" she said. "You need to dress up like this more often."
Connie straightened his tie. Toby smiled. He raised an eyebrow playfully.
"Yeah, sure. I'll throw another wedding next week - that sound good to you?" He joked.
Connie rolled her eyes.
"You know what I mean, Tobias."
Toby nodded. Connie gave him a sad smile. She placed a hand to his cheek.
"If only she could see you now…"
No context was needed for the pair. They knew exactly who Connie was talking about.
"She'd call me a dork," Toby rolled his eyes. "And then mess up my hair."
Connie chuckled.
"She probably would…" she paused. Then, she turned to him. "...but then she'd call you her dork, and sort you out again."
Toby nodded sadly.
The two didn't need much more to be said.
"Grandma's gonna flip when she realises that this isn't a Jewish wedding."
"Oh, God, I know!" Connie chuckled. "Just like when I got married."
"Must run in the family," Toby suggested.
Connie chuckled. She shook her head. Her son was some boy, alright…
"At least I snuck some Hebrew into my vows," Toby explained. "That might just have to sate her - and the fact that every meal at the reception is going to be kosher."
Well… almost every meal, he should say. Pig kidneys are as close to human as you can possibly get, and Jack wasn't going to nibble on any human ones at the reception.
Natalie had made sure of that.
Connie nodded. She looked at her son as if he were the sweetest man on the planet. Then, a cough broke their mutual silence.
"Mrs. Rodgers, we're nearly ready for the ceremony to begin," Natalie started. "If you just want to link arms with Toby."
"Oh, of course!" Connie smiled and joined herself to her son.
"Great. Now, everyone remembers their order, right?"
Doby and Liu got behind her in a single file line. Natalie breathed in relief.
"Good… now, we just need to hear our cue…"
As if on demand, the song started playing, and the doors were opened.
"They couldn't have held it in a synagogue?" Toby's grandma grumbled. "Or at least, have gotten a rabbi to do the thing?"
"Arianna, knock it off," warned his grandpa.
"Well, at least they're getting married," offered his aunt Judy. "And besides, it was nice that their friend offered to officiate the thing."
"Indeed…" aunt Layla said bitterly.
"Is there a problem, oh dear baby sister of mine?" Judy asked, slightly irritated.
"No, no. No problem."
"Then why are you in such a huff?" Asked Judy.
"I gave up a starring role in a Sex and the City spinoff for this…" Layla complained. "It would have been my big break…"
"Oh, please, you discount Samantha," Judy glared. "It's only your youngest nephew's wedding. If you think that your fame is more important than this, then go! I insist, I implore you!"
Layla said nothing; Judy had won. She smiled smugly and sat proudly in her seat.
Then, Judy turned to her nephew, who was sat beside her.
"Cody, dear," she put a hand on the teenager's shoulder. "Put your phone away or I'll take it off of you."
"Fine…" Cody shoved the metallic device into his pocket and stared up at the roof in boredom.
"Don't be like that, Cody," she scolded. "It's your big brother's wedding."
Well, his father, if people wanted to be technical… not that Cody would ever tell his family that.
"Still no reason this couldn't have had a rabbi or something…" growled Arianna.
Tomas softly squeezed his wife's hand. Her eyes softened as her husband nestled close to her.
"Let's just be glad he's free to marry who he wants to, Lovebug. I mean, remember how long it took us to find a rabbi willing to marry us."
She hummed. "I suppose…"
Her head rested against his, and the two softly smiled.
When Nico looked down the aisle, the first thing he saw was Natalie leading Doby and Liu. The trio waved nervously
Then, he looked behind them. And when Toby was walking up behind them, all Nico could do was stare in awe.
Toby was like a vision of joy. He looked downright adorable with his suspenders and tie. The bright orange plaster on his cheek only added to his cuteness.
And every freckle splattered across his face was like its own star in the cosmos of his skull.
"You look so handsome," Nico whispered.
Natalie, Doby, and Liu all gathered behind the orange-clad groom.
"You too," Toby whispered back.
"I love you, Toby."
"I love you too." Nico squeezed his hand. "Now let's get married."
Jane cleared her throat, and the entire room had their eyes set upon her.
"Welcome family and friends. We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the marriage of Nico Di Angelo and Tobias Erin Rodgers." Jane glanced over the room. "This is by no means a new relationship, but rather, a day where we acknowledge the start of the next chapter in their lives together. The two of them have spent years with each other, and now we bear witness to how the two of them have grown and come into their own."
Connie sniffed. Layla offered her sister a tissue.
Masky wiped his eyes. Hoodie set a hand on the man’s lap. Cody felt a smile creep onto his lips.
Even Leo Valdez - the so-called “bad boy supreme” - couldn't help but feel all warm inside.
"And today," Jane smiled. "They will affirm this bond formally and publicly."
All eyes were set upon the grooms. Toby's hands fidgeted. Nico glanced away for barely a second.
"Now, the grooms have written their own vows and would like to read them out to us. Toby, would you go first?"
Toby nodded. He took a deep breath. He had memorised every single word. He could say this in his sleep.
"Nico, when I was growing up, I didn't have the best view of what a marriage was… supposed to be like," Toby gently squeezed his hand. "The only healthy ones I saw were members of my family that I didn't see all the time - and the marriage between my parents was one that made the entire thing seem… horrible."
The room was silent; Toby had to work up his courage.
"My grandparents made love out to be this fairytale… My mother always said that you never know who the right person is until they walk into your life. I didn't understand it back then," he confessed. "But I do now. Nico, Ani L’dodi v’dodi lee. I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine."
From the corner of his eye, he could see Arianna react excitedly to the inclusion of Hebrew in her grandson's vows. He chuckled.
"What I'm saying is… I love you, Nico. You make me feel… complete. You're my soulmate."
Nico smiled and wiped his eye.
"I love you too, Toby," he squeezed Toby's hand. Nico cleared his throat. "And that's not something that I say lightly. I save those words; I don't just say them for no reason. Love is something powerful; I know this."
His eyes were welling up with tears.
"Love like this - like ours - is the embodiment of giving one's heart, one's soul, one's everything to another. Vita mia, you are my everything. My night, my day, my reason to see each and every last one through."
He took a breath and grounded himself.
"The ancient Greeks had a story about something like this." He said. "Mortals had four arms, four legs, and two heads. But Zeus feared their power, and so he separated them in two, condemning humanity to spend their entire lives trying to find their other half."
It was now Toby's turn to wipe his eyes.
"Well, when I'm with you, I know for a fact that I've found mine…" he took a breath to compose himself. "It's like… we were destined to be together. Io sono per il mio diletto e il mio diletto è per me."
The pair entwined their fingers; they gave each other the softest smiles they could.
Jane nodded and smiled as she looked over the pair.
"May we have the rings, please?" Asked Jane.
"The rings…" Toby patted his pockets.
Natalie pulled the box out from her purse and slid it into his hand.
"Of course!"
"Always prepared," Natalie chuckled.
The pair opened the box and took out the rings needed.
They each took one, and smiled nervously.
"Do you have a few words?" Jane asked.
"I, uh… I do, actually," Toby smiled.
He took the ring in one hand, and held Nico's with the other.
"Nico Di Angelo, I give you this ring as a sign of our love for and commitment to each other," Toby said. He cleared his throat and continued. "I promise to support you, care for you, and stand alongside you for all of our days. Through the good and the bad."
He slid the ring onto Nico's left ring finger. Toby's hand was shaking with excitement. The iron band settled itself at the base of his finger. Nico looked into Toby's eyes with all of the love and adoration that his soul would allow.
"Tobias Erin Rodgers," Nico shakily said. "This ring is symbolic of my never ending commitment, love, and devotion to you. It is an outward reminder of our inner unity, a bond which is stronger than any obstacle."
It was now Nico's turn to shakily move the brass band along his beloved's finger.
Toby chuckled excitedly. Nico's fingers were always so cold. He finally slid the ring onto Toby's finger.
Jane smiled at the pair. They were practically trembling in excitement.
…and they had basically gone an entire day without kissing, so it was only fair that she let them have this.
"Now, by the power invested in me - by the state of Ohio, and by www-dot-becomealesbianweddingofficiant- dot-com - I now pronounce you two husbands." Jane clasped her hands shut. "You may now kiss each other."
Toby and Nico wasted zero seconds, and pressed their lips together quickly. They needed this like they needed air. All the guests in attendance clapped excitedly.
The newlyweds didn't care, though. They were lost in their own universe of love and adoration.
"Hey, Nico," Masky whispered. "If you need me to deal with your father, just have Toby say the word "tartar sauce". Okay?"
Nico looked at Masky, confused.
"Believe me, I ain't going to heaven. May as well go down swinging," Masky shrugged. "Besides, this would be my… what, fifth tackle of the wedding?"
"Your fifth?!" Nico asked.
"Yeah. There was that one time with Doby. Then, I had to tackle Leo - he was going to take apart one of the hotel's toasters. You're welcome, by the way. Next it was Eyeless - Toby's brother is not a snack. And then, I had to deal with Noah."
Masky stretched.
"Besides, I could use a challenge."
"Okay… but why tartar sauce?" Nico asked.
"Toby hates tartar sauce. I thought that everyone knew that. Just like how he hates sock puppets."
Toby nodded. "I do historically have a hatred of sock puppets."
Nico chuckled and shook his head.
What had he just married into?
"Grandma!" Toby smiled.
"Tobias," the older woman stretched out her arms. "My grandbaby! Oh, I've missed you so much!"
Toby chuckled as his grandmother pressed a kiss to his cheek. She then turned to Nico.
"And my new grandbaby-in-law. Come here."
She flung her arms around Nico; Nico was… unused to the affection. But it wasn't unwelcome.
If anything, he loved it.
"You two look so handsome today. Why, if my mother were alive to see it - she'd have made sure there were no pearls in sight today."
Arianna then shot a glare to her youngest daughter, who was looking at her reflection in her compact mirror. Layla folded the mirror and slid it into her handbag. Around his aunt's neck, Toby could see an expensive looking string of pearls.
Nico mouthed the word "pearls?" to Toby. Toby shook his head and mouthed back "don't ask" to his husband.
Husband…
Huh, that sounded… kinda nice, if he was being honest.
"Hey," Natalie sat down.
"Hey." Leo smiled nervously.
"I'm Natalie - Toby's best maid."
"Leo - one of Nico's groomsmen," Leo explained. "Some wedding, huh?"
"Best I've ever been to," Natalie shrugged.
"Ha, same," Leo chuckled. "Of course, I haven't really ever been to that many…"
Leo looked at her, then he fixed his gaze back on his drink. Natalie did the same.
She put her hand on top of his, gently.
"So, what kind of stuff do you like doing?" She asked.
"Well, I'm a bit of an inventor," Leo explained.
Natalie hummed.
"You?"
"I'm a bit of an artist," Natalie said. She looked Leo up and down.
Leo whistled. Natalie placed her hand atop his.
"I love weddings," she said softly. "So many feelings in the air. So many people around you - some that you may never see again."
Leo nodded.
"There's so much that can happen over a single five day weekend…"
"Yeah," Natalie sighed. "You can find someone that you just… click with. And it'll feel so right. But you'll never know until you dive head first into it, right?"
"Right." Leo watched her every move - he saw how her hand danced up the stem of her glass. "Do you want to… uh…"
Leo's face was red.
Natalie simply nodded in agreement; the two slunk off together, hand in hand, to do who knows what in the hallway.
And the broom closet door shut with a click.
"Have you guys seen Natalie anywhere?" Asked Toby.
"No, I thought she was with you," Nico said.
"Well, she isn't. And the DJ can't find the right song and everything is going wrong and it's all my-!"
"Hey, hey, it's not a problem," Masky calmed the newlyweds down. "I can handle whatever catastrophe that's popped up."
"Really?" Toby asked.
"Really," Masky smiled.
Walking back from the bathroom, Eyeless wandered past several empty doors. He didn't hear much outside of employees from most.
At best, he heard absolute silence.
And at worst, an ant scampered across the floor.
Then, he walked past… that door.
So many crude, animalistic sounds were emanating from behind it. The demon shuddered at the vulgarity.
Couldn't people save all that… hankity pankity for their own rooms?!
He shook his head and slid back into the reception room.
Not his circus, not his monkeys.
Doby waved at him from their table, and Jack waved back. He smiled and quickly walked over.
"Somebody's really lucky in the broom closet," Eyeless Jack pointed to the hallway.
"Damn, couldn't even get to one of the bedrooms?" Doby asked.
"Wild…" Percy looked at the two nervously. "Uh, can I ask about the…"
"Oh my god, Percy, you can't just ask people why they don't have eyes!" Doby joked in a "Mean Girls" style voice.
Jack laughed quite loudly. Percy looked down nervously.
"We, uh… we watch Mean Girls... a lot…" confessed Doby.
"More than some would argue is healthy. But to answer your question, a cult pulled them out." Jack smiled with his sharp toothed grin.
Percy was unsettled by the taller man, but tried not to show it.
"Oh, there's Mrs. O'Learey!" Percy pointed the dog out.
"Aww, she's cuddling with Smile!" Doby squealed.
"What, you mean that… uh, dog?" Percy tried his best to sound nice. But it was hard to do, especially when the dog had freaking human teeth. With chompers like those, it was easy to see how the pup got his name.
"Yeah…" Doby smiled. "Ooh, we gotta take a picture!"
"...and now, the Newlywedded Mister Rodgers would like to sing a song for his new husband. Ladies and gentlemen, those whose gender fluctuates, and those that are none of the above; demigods, deities, mortals and monsters alike, please give it up for… Toby!"
Toby hopped up onto the stage, and sent a wink out to Nico. Nico waved gently and smiled.
"Alright, everyone. First I'd like to thank you all for coming to our wedding. Nico and I are more than grateful for the journeys you've all made to be here with us today - with some travelling much further than others," Toby looked vaguely in Hades' direction. Hades scowled at him. "...And I'd also like to send my thanks out to Nico. Who knows how I got him to agree to marrying me?"
Everyone chuckled in varying degrees of sensibility. Toby rubbed the back of his neck. Nico blew him a kiss, and he blushed.
"Anyway, uh… this song means a lot to us. It was one of the first we listened to as a couple. It was my sister's favourite, and I'm sure that you'll all enjoy it too."
The familiar song began, and Nico felt the smile creep up on his face.
"Uh, I love you Nico," he took a breath. "And… Tonight… I wanna give it all to you… in the darkness, there's so much I wanna do."
"Shit…" Natalie hissed.
"What?" Leo asked. "Did I do something wrong?!"
"No, no," Natalie sighed. "That felt just right. I just… Toby’s just started his cover of "I Was Made For Loving You". We've been here for longer than I thought."
Leo looked at her with a nervous grin.
"Is that a good thing?"
Natalie sighed and rolled her eye. "It's not the worst."
She tried to fix her hair to the best of her abilities, then she attempted to button up Leo's shirt.
"Now, look, Valdez," Natalie said. "If anyone asks…"
Leo tensed up. Natalie straightened his tie.
She looked directly into Leo's eyes. "...this did not happen. Okay?"
Leo nodded. He was entranced by the swirl of green in her only eye.
"I need to have your word on this."
"Okay."
"Promise me!"
"I promise!" Leo crossed his heart.
"Okay, good."
"...but could it happen again?" He asked.
Natalie rolled her eye. She then began attacking the demigod's neck with bites. Leo winced. He had his hands entangled in her hair. Yet he knew that he was in for something good.
"Okay, this is getting scary now," Hazel sat beside Nico. "Where's Leo?"
"I don't know," Nico confessed. "After the reception started, I kind of… lost track of him."
"Same with Natalie," Toby confessed.
"Wait, what?" Hazel asked. She felt their conversation a few hours earlier creep up on her. Could they have..?
"Yeah, we haven't seen either of them for… ages."
Hazel took a sip of her drink.
…that clever girl…
She chuckled to herself. Hazel shook her head. What was that girl like?
"Do you know something that we don't?" Asked Toby.
Hazel blushed.
"...I might…" Hazel whispered.
"Well, what is it?"
"Natalie might find Leo... perhaps the tiniest bit... cute."
"What?!" Both grooms asked in shock.
"I'm as surprised as you are," Hazel put her hands up in defence. "But the heart wants what it wants."
"And when Natalie wants something," Toby added. "...she tends to try and get it. Like, remember her thing with Jeff?"
Toby and Nico both shuddered.
…that was a truly, truly terrifying week.
"Well, does Leo like Natalie?" Asked Nico.
"She's a girl with an affinity for violence and weapons that he would view as out of his league. Of course she's his type!"
"You're right," Nico nodded. "You're right."
Eyeless came over to the group.
"Who're we missing?" He asked.
"Leo and Natalie." Nico gave the demon a quick look.
"Right… and when did you last see them?"
"The start of the reception…"
"Well, when I was coming back from the bathroom, I heard… uh… you know how you two get when Nico comes back from a quest?"
Both grooms turned bright red; Hazel averted her gaze.
"Yeah, it was like that. Albeit, there were fewer gags and more… Canadian euphemisms and Spanish swears."
"Alright, everyone!" Masky clapped his hands and spoke through the dj's microphone. "Remember, if you haven't signed the wedding book already, do so… but now, the cutting of the cake!"
Two figures stumbled out of the hall, into the reception.
"Just in time," Natalie smiled.
Leo nodded. He tapped his foot nervously.
"What's up?"
"Nothing…"
Leo caught the knowledgeable look that she gave him.
"Just a shame that it had to… come to an end."
Natalie sighed.
"What room are you in?"
"Excuse me?" Leo asked.
"You heard me," Natalie settled a hand on her hip. "Tell me, what room are you in?"
Leo froze. "Uh… 7-23-B?"
"Right. Meet you there after the reception."
With that, Natalie went off to the bar, leaving Leo to watch the way her hips swivelled with every step.
"Well, look what the cat dragged in…" Toby thought to himself. Natalie kept fidgeting with the bottom of her dress, and Leo was adjusting his tie at any moment he could.
Nico’s hand was clasped over his own. Nico raised an eyebrow, while Toby just shook his head. He mouthed a quick “later” to his husband, and Nico nodded.
The blade sunk deeply into the confection before them.
Their guests all “ooh’ed” and “aah’ed”.
Then, they pulled the slice out and shared it between the two of them.
Toby was half tempted to shove the slice in Nico's face - but he'd rather have his marriage last longer than his engagement, if he was being honest.
Connie walked over to her son as soon as the crowd dispersed.
"Toby!"
"Hey, mom!" Toby smiled.
"Congratulations," she hugged him. "You're officially a married man."
"I know," Toby beamed. "It feels awesome. Who knew the words my husband could feel so… joyous?"
Connie smiled. "Well, I'm just glad you're so happy."
"I am, mom," Toby nodded.
"The ceremony was beautiful, by the way." Connie explained. "Just gorgeous. In every way possible."
Toby smiled. He looked at one of the decorations on a nearby table.
“I know,” Toby said.
The two stood in silence for a bit - they didn’t really need to say much, as was the nature of their bond.
“I am so, so proud of you.” Connie held her son’s hands.
She never thought that she’d see the day - and neither did he, honestly. Connie pressed a kiss to her son’s forehead.
“Can I get you your first drink as a married man?”
Toby shook his head. “I am afraid that that honour fell to my husband.”
“Oh well,” Connie shrugged. “Whatever you want, I’m getting.”
“Thanks, mom,” Toby smiled.
“My pleasure, baby.” Connie smiled back.
Natalie walked shakily along the hall. Anyone could see her…
They'd know exactly where she was going. And at such a late time, the reason for her trip was excruciatingly obvious.
Finally, she made it to the right room. Her hand thumped against the door. Once, twice, thrice.
Then, the tipsy brunet poked his head out.
"Natty?" Leo asked.
"I needed you," she said. She shifted on her feet, and hoped that it would be obvious for the demigod.
"C'mon in," Leo took a step back.
Natalie took one last look behind her - hoping to the gods that nobody would see her - and headed into the half blood’s room. The door shut with a click, and the two were alone.
After hours and hours of dancing and drinking and feasting with friends, Toby held Nico's hand in his. The pair walked up the stairs slowly.
Nico went to open the door, but at the last moment, Toby stopped him.
"Hold on, darling," Toby smiled. "Would the oh-so-powerful Ghost King like to be carried over the threshold?"
Nico chuckled. He rolled his eyes.
"You big doofus…"
"Only yours," promised Toby. "Forever."
"I hope so." Nico said. Toby nodded.
Nico nodded back. Toby scooped him up and opened the door.
Nico smiled and pressed his lips to Toby's. The pair managed to fumble all the way to their bed and flopped back into it with a thud.
Then, they were finally alone for the night - as husbands, for the rest of their days.