Chapter Text
“Tommy!” A gruff voice swims in and out of his senses. Tommy groans, burrowing his head further into his pillow. “C’mon, wake up, sleepyhead.”
The room spins as Tommy lifts his eyes open. He panics for a moment before his gaze finally lands onto Techno’s. Techno gives him a half smile.
“Took you long enough, kid.” The piglin hybrid grumbles. Brushing a strand of purple hair behind his ear. “Was starting to wonder whether you were actually dead.”
Tommy winces a little at the words, but begins speaking quickly before Techno can lower his eyebrows any further than they already are.
“Mm, you know I’d never do that, Techno-no-blade.” Tommy yawns, his words slurring.He arches his back and stretches with a groan, his six fingers trembling in his blurred vision.
“You’re like a little cat, aren’t you? My little brother, a little cat.” Techno rumbles, purring softly and ruffling Tommy’s hair.
Tommy blinks up at him, shuffling up so he’s leaning against the back of the couch and batting away Techno’s hands. “A pussy, more like.” He grumbles under his breath. Techno huffs out a light chuckle.
“Well anyways, breakfast is ready. Thought I’d make up some classic carrot soup, hmm?
“Carrots?” Tommy echoes, his brow furrowing. He tries to think further, but it’s like there's a blurry wall blocking his thoughts. There’s something he’s missing.
“You hit your head or something, Toms?” Techno cocks an eyebrow. Toms? That’s… Techno’s eyes furrow when Tommy stays silent. “Does the carrot war ring any bells, or has being sick destroyed your brain cells as well?”
Tommy hesitates, flexing his fingers in and out. They blur in his vision, doubling and jumping. Fingers don’t do that. “No- no. I remember. Sorry Blade, slipped my mind.”
“Blade?” Techno laughs. “That’s a new nickname. Don’t mind it to be honest.”
Tommy falls silent.
There’s a knock at the door, a solid thumping. Tommy turns, his head fuzzy and weird. His eyes latch onto the window.
There’s nothing there. Outside is just an empty, white landscape.
“C’mon, Tommy, it’s dinner time!” Techno calls. Tommy furrows, turning back. The table is set, with two steaming bowls of carrot soup. It wasn’t set before.
Techno huffs impatiently. “Tommy! Come on, do you want the soup or not.” Techno chastises. Tommy looks up, barely seeing Techno coming for him when suddenly a bowl of soup is shoved into his hands.
His face. Tommy’s face- his own face is in the bowl.
Tommy screams, his hold immediately loosening from the bowl and it falls and shatters across the floor. Soup spreads everywhere, the… head rolling across the planked floor and stopping with its eyes turned toward Tommy.
He retches.
“Aw, come on Tommy.” Techno tuts, reaching out and pulling Tommy’s face towards his with one hand. His eyes glimmer dangerously, his purple (purple? That's not right-) hair falling across his face. “Was the food really that bad? Or do you just like wasting people’s hard work?”
“I- I-” Tommy stumbles backwards, his fingers coming to pinch at his skin. Nothing. Nothing.
“Hmm, Tommy? Are you going to answer me or not?” Techno leans in close, his fangs flashing dangerously. Tommy’s heartbeat quickens. His next words are hissed, whispered with a small smile. “Maybe I should’ve taken Dream’s favour when I had the chance.”
Tommy chokes on his own breath, whirling around and sprinting towards the door behind him. He struggles with the door handle. Locked.
“Oh Dream!” Techno calls, laughing maniacally as Tommy struggles, throwing himself over and over against the door. “Tommy’s here! Come and get him.”
Tommy’s breath speeds up as his shoulder bangs against the door. Behind him, he hears the sound of a door opening and crazy, pitched laughter bouncing off the walls.
The next sound sends his heart stopping.
“Oh, Tommy!” Dream laughs, his voice cold and crazed. “Oh Tommy, it’s been so long! Come here.”
He shouldn’t turn around. He shouldn’t- he shouldn’t turn around.
He turns around.
Dream stands in front of him, face pressed nearly up to Tommy’s. Immediately, his jaw unhinges, his eyes pouring from his sockets and his laugh escalating into a chilling screech.
Tommy gags on his own fear, turning and sprinting through the now open door. His foot slips and the floor cracks beneath him and he tumbles, spinning endlessly through a dark hole.
“Tommy, come one! Stop running. You know it’s not worth it!” Tommy hits the ground with a thump as Dream voice sing songs, his voice bouncing inside Tommy’s own head. Tommy gasps, scratching at his ears.
He opens his mouth to say something, but his voice fails. Black sludge swiftly rises up his throat, pouring sluggishly from his open mouth.
This is a dream, this is a dream. Tommy tries to rationalise, but his panic keeps rising, clawing up his own stomach and ripping his common sense to shreds as he continues to choke on the unknown liquid. He stumbles back to his feet, continuing to sprint through the empty darkness.
“Tommy! Tommy help, he’s killing me! Dream’s killing me!” Someone screeches. Tubbo.
Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Tubbo’s dying and it’s all his fault-
“Oh come on, Tommy, stop running. You’re such a child.” Techno’s voice chastises from the dark.
Dream laughs. “No-ones on your side, Tommy! You’re alone! You’re trapped. And you better come right here right now or Tubbo will suffer a particularly… painful fate.”
“All because of you!” Voices chorus from the shadows. Tommy can’t place who- it's a mix of many. Niki, Wilbur, Jack, everyone… all screeching, screaming at him-
Tubbo’s screaming increases, and something in Tommy’s chest snaps.
He collapses to the ground, panting heavily, his eyes stinging with tears. He brings one hand in front of his eye. Six fingers. He’s dreaming, he’s dreaming. He has to wake up.
“Shut up.” Tommy gasps, placing his hands over his ears and showing his head against the floor, his eyes clamped shut. “SHUT UP!”
“You can’t wake up Tommy!” Dream laughs as the screams increase tenfold. “You can’t! Wake up Tommy! Tommy!”
“Tommy!” Techno’s voice yells. Tommy shoots up from the couch, sweat pouring down his forehead, his whole body hot and sweating buckets, his heart pounding thunder in his chest. The whole room blurs before him.
“Tommy? Are you awake-” Techno begins, but Tommy ignores him, his voice fading into the background. He reached with one hand to his other hand, pinching so hard that in any normal situation it would bruise, half his fingernail digging into his skin.
Nothing. Nothing. Why doesn’t it hurt? Is he still dreaming? How- he needs- he needs to-
“Tommy, calm down, ok? Deep breaths? Can you do that?” Techno pleads, reaching one hand over to try and take Tommy’s hand off of his arm. Tommy immediately flinches, head flying over to Techno and eyes blown wide.
“Techno,” Tommy sobs breathily. “You have to- please! Please, Techno, you have to- to wake me up, please, Dream’s going to get me-”
“Dreams in prison, Tommy.” Techo murmurs, his voice dropping to a soft tone. “You’re awake, see?”
Tommy shakes his head rapidly, chest heaving for breath that he just can’t get. “No,” He begs, his eyes burning and streaming with tears. “No- no no no.” He sobs, an arm wrapping around his stomach. “My- my fingers- they’re doubled- I can’t feel it when I’m pinching myself-”
“Tommy-” Techno begins.
Tommy snaps.
“PLEASE!” He begs, screaming so hard his voice burns, his hands reaching up and tugging harshly at his hair. “PLEASE, TECHNO- DREAM- HE’S GOING TO KILL ME! PLEASE! I CAN’T GO THROUGH IT AGAIN- I-”
“Tommy, listen to me.” Techno tells him, reaching up to grab his hands. Tommy freezes, his heart thumping so heavily he swears he’s having a heart attack. “Tommy, just breathe. You can go back to whatever you’re doing in a minute, ok? Just trust me.”
Tommy hesitates, choking on his next breath. He tries, pushing his panic to the back of his mind, pulling a deep breath in. It hitches halfway through, but fills his lungs with the oxygen he was aching for.
“There you go.” Techno praises, gently pulling Tommy’s hands down from his hair. “One more deep breath, hmm?”
Tommy closes his eyes, sucking in air and breathing out deeply. When he next opens his eyes the room is sharper, the blurriness fading back into the depths of his fear addled mind.
“You see that?” Techno whispers. At Tommy’s confused glance, still desperately sucking in oxygen, he lifts up Tommy’s hand in his line of sight.
“Five fingers.” Techno murmurs. He reaches forward, pinching the top of his thumb. “See? One, two, three, four, five.” He goes down each finger, gently pinching the top. Tommy chuckles weakly.
“You can feel that?” He asks gently. At Tommy’s nod, he gives a half smile. “Must not be dreaming then, hm? And Techno knows best, so he must be right, yes Tommy?”
“Only you would refer to yourself in third person while calming someone down from a nightmare.” Tommy chokes out, his voice strained breathless. Tommy rubs at his throat, wincing.
Techno laughs. “That I would be.”
They sit like that for a moment, Tommy just breathing, and rubbing his hand round and round where his heart sits in his chest. Techno sits there, softly humming under his breath
“You want to talk? Or would you rather me just make hot chocolate for the both of us?” Techno asks. Tommy stiffens, glancing down at his hands. He recounts his fingers. One, two, three, four, five. Not dreaming.
“Hot chocolate.” He murmurs in reply. It takes a momentous effort to force words past the exhaustion forming tape over his lips. He’d prefer to sit in silence, but that can’t be given to him, apparently. He made that for himself, he supposes- Tommyinnit, the stupid kid who never shuts up.
Techno studies him for a moment, before getting up from the couch and walking over to the kitchen.
Techno wasn’t even that close, but the loss of another figure is startling, the wash away of warmth chilling. Tommy tucks further into himself, sinking heavily into the couch cushions. His gaze floats slowly over the room, tracing the pictures that sit on the wall. One of Techno sitting on Carl and Phil beside him, one of the two and Ranboo trying to build a snowman, Ranboo tucked tight in Techno’s cape.
A picture resurfaces in his memory. Him, wearing that stupid turtle shell covering half of his face, sitting on Techno’s shoulder. Techno wearing one of his rare smiles, looking not at the camera but at him instead. He remembers putting it up, struggling to reach where the pin had been shoved through the wall on the tips of his toes, the picture nearly falling from his hands as Techno laughed behind him.
It’s obviously been taken down.
He’s shaken out of his thoughts when Techno re-enters the room, carrying two mugs of hot chocolate under one arm and a box of donuts under the other. Tommy’s not that hungry, but he appreciates the offer.
Techno hands him the mug, which Tommy is careful not to spill anywhere, immediately tucking it close to his chest. Techno sits on the other side of the couch, and Tommy is immediately hit with a sense of deja vu from last night.
“Is this gonna become a regular thing, Techno?” Tommy teases, the sip he took from the hot chocolate managing to loosen the post-panic-attack hold on his throat, but his words still sound forced.
“I’d hope not.” Techno huffs. “The nightmares and running away, I mean. Hot chocolate- we can have as much as you want.”
As much as you want. Tommy smiles to himself slightly, ducking his head against his chest.
Techno takes a deep breath, and Tommy flinches. Don’t say it, don’t say it- “Tommy.”
His heart skips a beat.
“Look, I know you don’t want to do this, and I get it, I don’t want to force you to do anything.” Techno sighs. “But we need to talk about this. Not because I’m mad or upset at you but because we both need to work together on this, ok? Can’t have you just running away every time I go to sleep.”
Tommy purses his lip, his teeth subconsciously chewing at his lips. He hums noncommittally.
“Theseus.” Techno sighs. “I’m really in the dark here. I don’t know what you want or to help you. I want to help you.”
“Do you really?” Tommy whispers. He sounds like a little kid- he feels like a little kid. “You keep saying that, Tech- but- but I don’t really believe it. And even if you do mean it, you're not going to mean it forever. I’m going to do something and you're going to hate me again.”
“Well, first of all we need to work on that.” Techno smiles. Tommy lets out a weak chuckle. “And well. I know I haven’t… been the best.” Techno furros, and Tommy nearly bursts into laughter at the mixed look of disgust and awkwardness painting his face. “And sure, you are sometimes annoying, and not the easiest to deal with.”
Tommy waits.
“Is there a… ‘but’ to that?” Tommy asks, raising one eyebrow.
Techno laughs. “No, actually. We’re both flawed, and that’s ok I suppose.”
“Oh-my-god, Techno being soft? Crazy.” Tommy shakes his head, laughing and sipping at the warm sweetness of the chocolate.
Techno smirks awkwardly. “Well, I’ve been doing some thinking and self reflecting. But don’t expect any more of this.” His eyebrows furrow comically, and he leans closer to Tommy, holding up one finger in a ‘shush’ motion. “And don’t you dare tell a soul.”
“Oh, no, Blade, I’ll be sure to tell everyone.” Tommy smirks. He happily shrieks as Techno reaches over and ruffles his hair, batting the man's hands away.
“Oh you little-” Techno laughs. “Well anyways, do you mind if we set some ground rules? You can add some as well if you’d like.”
Tommy shrugs. “Sure.” He tries not to think too hard about the rules Dream set in exile. Techno’s not like that, and Tommy’s got input in this. That’s good. That’s nice.
“If you want to leave, you let me know, ok? I’m not going to make you stay, but I want to make sure you’re safe, alright? I promise I’ll let you leave if you want to.” Tommy nods nervously, glancing away from Techno’s expecting face. “Your turn.”
Tommy swallows. “Um.” He hesitates. “I don’t want to be forced to do anything.” He murmurs.
“And you won’t be.” Techno assures. “If you need anything or feel unwell, you have to let either me or someone else know. Don’t try and deal with it by yourself.”
Tommy purses his lips. “Ok. Uh- don’t touch me. Without permission.”
“Ok.” Techno nods. He thinks for a second, before seemingly not coming up with anything. “That sounds alright. If we need to add anything else we can have another chat, ok?”
“Alright. That sounds ok.” Tommy murmurs. All of a sudden he yawns, his body tilting over as the immense exhaustion his body has been holding back floods him.
“Alright, back to bed child.” Techno chastises, taking the empty chocolate mug from him and putting them on the counter. He comes over, pushing Tommy over lightly so he falls with an oof onto the pillow.
Tommy puffs air, pushing his hair out of his face. “‘M not tired.”
“Yes you are.” Techno raises an eyebrow. “You look like you’re about to kneel over dead.”
“Hmmm… ok.” Tommy murmurs. “But only because…. only because I’m better than you.”
"Yeah, yeah, of course." Techno smiles.
And when Tommy goes to sleep, for the first time since the height of Pogtopia, he sleeps soundly.
Tommy laughs, running through the packed snow with several of Techno's dogs barking and running behind him. One of the dogs leaps up behind him, crashing into his legs and sending him tumbling into the freezing snow.
"Careful, Apollo!" Techno laughs.
Tommy rolls around in the snow, desperately trying to push Apollo’s feet off him, hiccuping through laughter. Eventually he gives up, flopping back down onto the snow with a light huff. He ultimately underestimates how soft the snow is, because his head hits the snow and then immediately sinks under the white powder.
Tommy spits, floundering in the snow and gasping for a breath when his head crashes back up through the snow. He catches Techno’s concerned face, before immediately bursting into laughter.
Techno huffs as well, walking up and helping him to his feet. He brushes a hand through Tommy’s soaked hair, ruffling the snow out of his curls. “Time to get you inside, little runt. Don’t want you to catch a cold.”
The process of healing is hard, both physically and mentally. The first few weeks of Tommy staying with Techno has him rollercoasting in and out of feeling weak and unwell, both from being sick and the dramatic change of temperature that his body fights to get used to. But Techno was always there, whether with more blankets to throw over him or just a cup of hot chocolate to sip at.
The mental process is a bit more difficult. It takes a while for Tommy to stop waking up every day from terrifying nightmares, and to stop flinching every time Techno comes at him a bit too fast. Him and Techno still argue sometimes as well, but they’re at least both working at it.
Tommy smiles, leaning into the hand the Techno ruffles through his hair. Family.
And perhaps that’s as good as it will get.