Chapter Text
[Yoo Joonghyuk walks into the camera range, stares at the provided seat for a second, and then sits on it. He looks up to face the camera.]
YJH: Is the camera rolling?
Bihyung: Ah, yes it is. Please introduce yourself.
YJH: Mhm. Good morning. I’m Yoo Joonghyuk, and I will be answering some questions you all have sent me. Please take care of me.
Buhyung: Thank you Joonghyuk-ssi. I’m Bihyung and I’ll be the one asking you questions today! By the way, I’m sure you’ve heard this before but you are much more handsome in person…
YJH: Thank you.
[Bihyung clears his throat.]
Bihyung: Right. We’ll uhh- we’ll start the interview now. LanenRiene on Twitter asks the first question: What face care routine do you go through to have such flawless skin?
YJH: I use soap and water.
Bihyung: What? Soap and water?
YJH: Yes. I think it was a Dove bar.
Bihyung: Nothing else…?
YJH: No.
Bihyung: You must have amazing genes, your skin looks even more flawless up close… Well, let’s move on to the next question. Polaris1003 asks, do you have any tips on how to cook? I’m having a hard time, please tell me. Crying emojis.
YJH: Cooking tips, hmm. If you’re adding some type of fat to your food, it’s better to add it at the end rather than at the start. Butter or oil added later pops out more when you eat the food. Also, the better you are with a knife, the more efficient the cooking.
[Muffled voice from the side: A knife, he says. Do you train by killing people with it?]
[Yoo Joonghyuk looks to the side and then rolls his eyes.]
YJH: Why is that woman here?
Bihyung: Ah, she said she was interested in how interviews work, so Uriel allowed her to observe us here.
YJH: Completely unnecessary.
Bihyung: Can’t go against the boss, haha. Your instructions sound very easy to follow. I’m sure they will help the asker a lot. Next question then. murdererson asks, what’s your favourite dish to make and why?
YJH: Murim dumplings. They are delicious and Mia likes to eat them a lot.
Bihyung: To think that Mia gets to eat your food everyday. I’m sure all your fans must be jealous.
YJH: Mhm.
[Muffled voice from the side: Hey, Yoo Joonghyuk. Do you like pudding?]
YJH: Pudding? I do not have any strong feelings towards pudding. It’s definitely easy to make, and if you use the right ingredients for it, very delicious. Adding rice to it is the best. I do not enjoy eating sweet things, however. It is bad for the teeth.
[Muffled voice from the side: Pudding deez nuts in your mouth.]
[Yoo Joonghyuk closes his eyes and clenches his jaw tightly. He takes a deep breath and looks up again with a blank expression on his face.]
YJH: What is the next question?
Bihyung: Right. Uh, hammiewastaken on twitter asks, umm... Can I sit in your lap?
YJH: …
Bihyung: …
YJH: No.
Bihyung: That was a pretty straightforward rejection. You wouldn't consider changing it?
YJH: Only Yoo Mia gets to sit on my lap.
[Muffled voice from the side: Not Kim Dokja?]
[Yoo Joonghyuk glares at the side.]
YJH: I don't remember asking you, Han Sooyoung.
Bihyung: It feels like the temperature just got lower, haha. We should move on to the next question.
YJH: We should.
Bihyung: So, uhhh, kyottero on Twitter asks, did you ever say something you regret saying now to someone you cared deeply for? And if so, what was it?
YJH: A thing I regret… I rarely ever say something without thinking it over. I like to think I have a good control on my emotions. There was this one time, however, that I told someone to go away because they were annoying me and they really went away. It’s fine if they annoy me, I don’t want that person to leave again.
Bihyung: Ah, that sounds sad. I’m sure if that person sees this, they’ll see your sincerity and not leave ever again.
[Yoo Joonghyuk snorts.]
YJH: That fool won’t know sincerity if it hits him with a truck.
[Muffled voice from the voice: That’s why you’re Kim Dokja’s babysitter.]
Bihyung: Kim Dokja? Was this about him?
YJH: No, it wasn’t. What’s the next question.
Bihyung: Right, yes! Next question is… top or bottom?
YJH: What?
Bihyung: Bunk beds. Top or bottom?
YJH: Bottom, I think?
Bihyung: Oh… Uriel would surely like that answer.
YJH: Uriel? Why would she like it? I've never slept in a bunk bed before so I'm not really sure, to be honest.
[Muffled voice from the side: Master, you should try it sometime! it's really mmf- Na Bori, why're you mmpfgf-]
[Yoo Joonghyuk stares to the side with a perplexed expression.]
YJH: If it really is enjoyable, I guess I could try.
Bihyung: I get it now, this was what Uriel was talking about. She’s gonna love this interview for sure! Thank you Joonghyuk-ssi! I might just get my pay raise after all…
YJH: ?
Bihyung: Ahem! Well, time for the next question! yoonyanhyuk on Twitter asks, can I touch your boobs? I beg bark bark I love you.
[An awkward silence ensues. The staff and Bihyung try not to meet Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes out of fear, but Han Sooyoung is slapping her own knees leaning against the wall for support. A tear slides out of her right eye, and she gives Bihyung an enthusiastic thumbs up.]
YJH: What is wrong with the people on Twitter?
Bihyung: Umm… Oh my bad, this was an alternate question by the same user, haha. The actual question was, what is it like working with Kim Dokja on the same drama?
YJH: The answer to both of these questions is no.
Bihyung: No? But-
YJH: No buts.
Bihyung: But that was the last question. We can’t end i-
YJH: Not my problem.
[Yoo Joonghyuk gets up from his seat and dusts off nonexistent dirt from his pants. With one last frown at the camera, he walks out with his head held high.]
[Muffled voice from the side: What just happened…]
Bihyung: Hell if I know. Stop rolling guys.
[Screen blacks out.
Caption on screen: Please head over to our Twitter page for the candid shots 😘
Video ends.]
Black Flames HSY, Uriel Fans Eden, pogchamp dokjaur and 16 others retweeted
StarStreams ✔️ @starstreamtv - 4h
Today’s shots!!
[Pictures: Yoo Joonghyuk glaring at something off camera, Yoo Joonghyuk looking at the camera with an adorably confused face, Yoo Joonghyuk rolling his eyes.]
1.5k replies - 16k retweets - 149k likes
pogchamp dokjaur replied
guys give me 10k rts and one lucky fan will get pics of joonghyukie in a pink apron
Yoo Joonghyuk Official replied
Kim Dokja GET OUT
pogchamp dokjaur replied
actually happy early christmas guys
[Picture: Yoo Joonghyuk in a frilly pink apron with his back to the camera. His side profile faces the camera as if the photographer had called for him. Yoo Mia at his side throws up a peace sign to the camera.]
2.6k replies - 12k retweets - 69k likes