Chapter Text
“Is it you, Hyunjin?” he breathes, somehow out of breath from rushing here despite having used his superspeed. “Is it really you? With the letters?”
Hyunjin’s eyes widen and light up a little as he blushes and nods. “Yes– it’s me. I—”
Before Hyunjin can continue, Seungmin throws away all caution and, driven by an overwhelming amount of love, he pulls Hyunjin into a searing, desperate kiss. Usually he doesn’t let his emotions dictate his actions to this extent, but he can’t help himself, he can’t help that he feels this much for Hyunjin and has been wanting to kiss him again, feel his lips on his own again, for three months.
“I love you– Hyunjin— so damn much,” he breathes against Hyunjin’s lips without thinking, needing to let everything out. “I can’t believe you did that for me. I can’t believe you wrote these sweet letters for me. Even when I didn’t know they were yours, they comforted me. Thank you.”
Before Hyunjin has the chance to respond, Seungmin kisses him again, now more gently as the overwhelming feelings drip out of his system slowly as Hyunjin lovingly kisses back and everything slowly sinks in.
“Ah— I’m sorry, I—” Seungmin pulls back when his brain catches up to everything, but Hyunjin cuts him off by chasing him and capturing his lips another, brief kiss.
“Don’t apologize, Minnie. It was nice to kiss you again. And I’m happy to know that you still want to do that— that you still feel like that and I could make you happy with the letters,” he whispers with a small smile. Gosh, Seungmin missed that smile so much, and he’d do anything to keep seeing it — but that’s not possible when they’re together. Seungmin’s stomach drops as he realizes the reality of their situation again. Just because Hyunjin wrote the letters doesn’t mean that they can be together again, however much Seungmin wants it, however much he wants to spend that eternity with Hyunjin like he wrote in the letter.
“I do— you know I miss you, but… uhm– but you know what I said last week, right?” Seungmin says softly, and Hyunjin’s smile disappears, replaced by a somber frown. Seungmin didn’t want to ruin the mood, but he doesn’t think that their relationship will be better now even knowing that Hyunjin wrote the letters. It will probably take too long for things to change enough to let them be together, even if Felix gets into the council—
“I know, yes. I know you don’t want to try again unless you know something changed and it will be better,” Hyunjin replies with a serious tone, pulling Seungmin out of his thoughts and holding his hands. His expression is hopeful though still a tad shy and hesitant, and Seungmin is damned curious about what Hyunjin has to say. “But I’ve been thinking, as I said in my letter…”
“About an eternity with me..?” It slips from Seungmin’s lips as he wonders where Hyunjin is going with this. His throat becomes dry and his dead heart pounds in anticipation as he waits for Hyunjin to elaborate.
"Yes. Remember when I asked if you had any books about vampires for me to learn and you brought me a whole bookcase full of books?" Hyunjin begins and Seungmin nods dumbly, his mind lagging behind on what Hyunjin is saying. "I… I've been thinking hard, I've done my research, and… and it’s scary— but I've made up my mind. If you want it too, I want to spend an eternity with you."
“What..?” Seungmin gapes at Hyunjin, opening and closing his mouth as his brain works to try to comprehend what Hyunjin means. He doesn’t dare to become hopeful until Hyunjin tells him how he thinks an eternity together will be possible.
"I want you to turn me, Seungmin. I've thought about it, and even if in five years it'll get better because of the new council, I don't want to wait," Hyunjin explains, his eyes shining in sincerity as Seungmin takes in a breath and his eyes widen. "The human world doesn't work for me. I'm a night person, I can't make friends here, my parents don't understand me… You, and your friends are the only ones I like in this damn town. I've weighed the options and I want this, Minnie, even more than turning scares me."
Seungmin needs a minute to process it all, because one moment he feels like his and Hyunjin’s relationship is doomed forever, and the next he learns that Hyunjin wrote the letters and he wants Seungmin to turn him into a vampire, so they do have a chance to be together. It's a lot to take in, to say the least, but Hyunjin gives him all the time he needs, not rushing him or asking him to answer immediately.
"I… Okay— wow, I need a bit to think about it," Seungmin mutters, and Hyunjin’s face falls a little, so he quickly continues, "I… I’m just still basking in the realization that you wrote those incredibly sweet letters, and now you’re telling me that– that there's actually a chance we can be together now. That you really want this— become a vampire."
"Yes, I do really want it. I— I'm sorry for throwing it all onto you at the same time, but when you told me you missed me too while I had been doing all that research for months… I knew I had to take the chance, tell you that I want to be with you again," Hyunjin murmurs, wearing a beautiful, enamored smile as he raises his hand to caress Seungmin’s cheek with his warm hand, and Seungmin falls in love all over again. "We don't have to do anything right now— you're probably busy as always, so you can take your time, but… yeah. I hope you want it too."
"I do," Seungmin says, because it's the truth. He already knows that he wants it too, even if it needs to sink in a little more. "I do want this, too. I want to be together with you again, Hyunjin, so… Let's talk later?” he asks, and Hyunjin nods, a bright smile forming on his face. “I… I still want to take you through everything that might happen when you turn before we decide for real, and I can ask Jisung, who is a turned vampire too, for his experiences, and Minho, Changbin and Chan, who were there—"
Hyunjin cuts him off with a fond giggle, and Seungmin becomes a bit embarrassed at his own rambling.
“Sure. That would be good,” Hyunjin responds, his eyes scrunched up because of his smile. “You’re ever so meticulous with planning and being sure about everything. I love that about you, Minnie.”
Seungmin gets shy at the compliment, but he loves it, especially when Hyunjin kisses his cheek after, leaving that warmth he missed so much on Seungmin’s skin.
"Do whatever you need to do, whatever you planned, and come pick me up at my house when you want to talk, yeah? I’ll try to wait for you, but you can wake me up if I fell asleep," Hyunjin tells him, obviously trying to hold back a happy and excited grin, and Seungmin is trying his best to not jump right into things yet either. Things can still go wrong, and though he doubts that Hyunjin will change his mind about turning when Seungmin will talk to him, it won’t all be easy. He knows from a few stories that the turning process isn’t pleasant at all and it can have many bad side effects.
“I will,” Seungmin responds, caressing Hyunjin’s jaw gently and lingering close, not wanting to go just yet. “Gosh— do we really have a chance again, Jinnie? Can we really be together again?”
Hyunjin’s smile widens and he leans in to steal another kiss from Seungmin’s lips, and it takes Seungmin’s breath away. “I hope so, Minnie. I really do.”
They slowly let go of each other, but now, with the prospect of seeing each other again today, it’s a bit easier. Seungmin feels all giddy and jittery as he runs to meet his friends, and they seem to immediately know that something is up, both because Seungmin is late, and because he probably has an uncharacteristic smile on his face.
“There you are, Seungmin! Is everything okay?” Felix asks, standing up from where he was sitting at the long dining table with their friends.
“Everything is more than okay, don’t worry,” Seungmin assures them, and they all share curious looks. “I’ll tell you guys about it later, let’s first help Lixie with the campaign, yeah? Tell me, what did I miss?”
The brainstorming session goes well, and Seungmin’s friends are all very supportive and excited to hear about Hyunjin’s decision to turn (and they’re not surprised to hear Hyunjin wrote the letters), but they also offer their help since they know it’s definitely not easy to be turned. Seungmin stays to talk to Jisung, Minho, Changbin, and Chan, who experienced the process of Jisung’s turning and helped with that. There is not much research done about turning and the experience differs per person as far as they know, but apparently most vampires take a while to warm up to newly turned vampires. Seungmin knows it can’t be worse than how they act toward humans, though, because no vampire is cruel enough to attack a newly turned one.
Seungmin knows that it’s not that common for vampires to turn humans, mostly they either kill them as they drink from them and birth new vampires just by having babies (which doesn’t happen that often either), but sometimes when they need more allies they turn a human (though that was mostly in the past when humans and vampires fought a lot). Now that’s not the case for Seungmin, and Jisung was turned because he was sick and injured when Minho, Chan, and Changbin found him and they didn’t want to leave him to die there, so that was different too.
Jisung suffered a lot, though they don’t know whether that was because of his illness or the turning, and the vampires were a bit hesitant to accept Jisung at first, but eventually they became neutral and now they even treat him as an equal. It’ll probably be more difficult with Hyunjin since most know him from before, but Seungmin knows that he and his friends will have Hyunjin’s back and they will have plenty of time to integrate him into their community if Hyunjin wants to go through with everything.
His friends don’t have time to come with him today and share their stories with Hyunjin directly, but Seungmin thinks that with his own knowledge now they can come far enough with a decision. He first stocks up on some artificial blood packets before he dashes toward Hyunjin’s house and uses his key to get in.
He finds Hyunjin asleep on his couch, and Seungmin’s heart swells up at the sight. He missed it so much, and he missed being able to wake him up gently, seeing Hyunjin blink his eyes open and smile once he sees Seungmin. It all feels like a dream, still, but it’s not. This might be a sight Seungmin gets to see more often again.
“Hey, Minnie,” Hyunjin murmurs, voice low from sleep. “I tried to stay awake to get used to a vampire rhythm, but I fell asleep after all.”
Seungmin chuckles, finding Hyunjin cute when he just wakes up and he nuzzles his face into Seungmin’s hand as it caresses his cheek, and he cherishes the warmth of Hyunjin’s face. “That’s okay. Do you need a minute to wake up before we start talking about things?”
Hyunjin nods slowly as he sits up, rubs his face, and combs his hair a little with his fingers. “Yeah, uhm… what do you want to talk about first? I know three months isn’t much for a vampire, but I feel like we haven’t seen each other in forever.”
“It feels the same to me, especially because we used to see each other basically every day,” Seungmin agrees, his hand finding Hyunjin’s warm one. He’ll miss that when Hyunjin will turn, but being able to hold his cold hand is better than not being able to hold his hand at all. “Can you tell me about the letters? I… gosh, I’m still so touched that you wrote those and you even delivered them to me even though you got attacked the last time you saw me there.”
Hyunjin blushes and smiles a little shyly. “Yeah, I… I had been writing in my diary about you basically every day, and many evenings I stood by the fence, hoping I could catch a glimpse of you and how you were doing. Eventually, I thought, Seungmin gets love letters on the regular anyway, so why not send my thoughts to him? I thought, if we can’t be together physically because of who I am, maybe I can anonymously make him a little happier.”
Hyunjin intertwines their fingers and rubs his thumb over the back of Seungmin’s hand as Seungmin blinks away a few tears that are starting to well up. He can’t believe that Hyunjin is really this sweet, though he should know it from when they were together. Hyunjin notices how affected he is and smiles fondly, squeezing Seungmin’s hand and briefly brushing his thumb over Seungmin’s cheek in support before he continues talking,
“I was a bit afraid to deliver the letters at first, yes, but I just went in the middle of the day whenever it was sunny and I disguised myself a little so I knew there was a small probability of coming across a vampire.”
“And— and were you already thinking of wanting to turn then?” Seungmin asks when he has contained his emotions and tears, and Hyunjin nods.
“Yeah I had been thinking about it since the day we broke up,” he explains softly, playing with Seungmin’s hand. “I did try to move on, maybe make some friends after all, but no one cared that we broke up, they still treated me the same, and I didn’t want to be friends with anyone who blindly hates vampires anyway, so I just did my research on how to turn.”
Hyunjin takes a breath before he continues, “It… the books are vague and they kind of scare me, but I slowly got more and more sure of it. I didn’t know how you were doing, though, I didn’t know if you were moving on with your life better than I was, so I guess the letters were also to try to gauge how you were doing, trying to subtly let you know I was still thinking about you, but I was also afraid to make it too obvious in case anyone would find the letters and think we were still together.”
Hyunjin then looks at him curiously. “Did you know it was me, by the way?”
“No, I– I didn’t dare to assume it was you,” Seungmin chuckles to himself, though there’s not much humor behind it as he remembers how he felt about the letters. “I didn’t want to get disappointed if it wasn’t you, and I liked the letters a lot, but I also felt guilty for liking them when I still loved you.”
Hyunjin’s eyes widen and they glimmer as Hyunjin pouts a little. “Aww, Seungminnie… I— I…” he trails off and smiles. “I guess we were the same, then, both unable to forget each other or move on, both still in love with each other.”
Seungmin softens and massages Hyunjin’s shoulder lovingly. “Yeah… I really hope you won’t regret this decision to be turned, though, Jinnie. Because we don’t really know what will happen.”
Hyunjin shakes his head. “I don’t think I will regret it. I have tried fitting in with humans for my whole life basically, but it didn’t work. I want this also for the friends, and I’d love to help Felix as well with my human knowledge,” he says, lying his head on Seungmin’s shoulder. “I really thought about this well, but you can still take me through what you think it’ll be like. Did you talk to Jisung already?”
Seungmin confirms and pulls Hyunjin closer in his embrace as he takes him through everything he knows about newly turned vampires and what Jisung told him. Seungmin can tell that Hyunjin is anxious as he hears how Jisung suffered and they don’t really know what will happen, but it also looks like Hyunjin doesn’t want to change his mind.
“So… do you want to do it now? Do you still want to do it at all?” Seungmin feels nervous, but a part of that feeling is caused by excitement as well — the prospect of being together still feels kind of unreal, though. “I already stocked up on some blood packets in case you become hungry as soon as you’re turned, but we can also wait a bit longer if you want.”
Hyunjin shakes his head and tightens his arms around Seungmin’s waist. “I know it may all be sudden for you, so if you need more time that’s okay, but I have been mentally preparing for this for months, and I don’t need any more time. I just want to be back together with you. Whatever it takes, even— even if I might suffer for a while.”
Seungmin softens and can’t help but nudge his nose against Hyunjin’s cheek so he can capture his lips into a soft kiss. “I will be there for you through the suffering, for anything you need.”
“Thank you, Seungmin.” Hyunjin smiles and kisses back, and Seungmin gets lost in it for a moment, soaking up the feeling because he just can’t get enough. “I am less afraid because I know you will be there for me.”
“Okay then… let’s do it. It may take a while for it to settle in anyway— though, it will hurt when I bite you. Even more than when I would do it normally, because I need to drink almost all of your blood before I inject in vampire blood and turn you — but you probably already know that.”
Hyunjin nods a tad nervously, but he still seems determined to do it — Seungmin remembers that Hyunjin once asked Seungmin to drink from him when they were together just because he wanted to know what it felt like, and he also knows how it feels from getting attacked the day they broke up, but Seungmin hopes that Hyunjin will think of the former experience.
Seungmin asks if Hyunjin is ready one last time before he starts massaging Hyunjin’s shoulder, getting the blood rushing, and he can tell how nervous Hyunjin is from the way his pulse point beats rapidly, but nevertheless Hyunjin gives Seungmin a shaky smile. As Seungmin rubs his thumb over Hyunjin’s neck, he takes in everything that has happened today. It almost feels like nothing has changed compared to three months ago, but that’s the thing, things did change, and they’re going to keep changing.
Hyunjin will turn into a vampire, which probably won’t do much to change their relationship on a personal level, but everything around them will change. They will be able to see each other for the whole day (night) now, they won’t have to sneak around, and even though it will definitely be difficult in the beginning, the dark fog that was obscuring the path to the future is lifting up a little and Seungmin can see the light at the far end of the road.
“I’m going to bite you now, okay, Jinnie?” he murmurs, and the whole scene somehow feels intimate, but Seungmin guesses it is intimate to trust someone to turn your life around, to turn your life around for someone, and to ask to share an eternity together. Hyunjin nods and mutters his permission for Seungmin to bite him.
Seungmin leans down, first kissing the skin tenderly, then nibbling on it gently, making Hyunjin sigh softly and relax, and finally, he bares his fangs and bites down Hyunjin’s neck. Hyunjin yelps and holds Seungmin tighter as Seungmin sucks his blood. He’s careful not to go too fast in case it hurts Hyunjin too much, but he seems to be holding on okay, though his grip on Seungmin becomes tighter and tighter as he lets out a few pained whimpers.
“Wait— hnng— Minnie– ah—” Hyunjin groans with a strained voice, and Seungmin stops immediately, pulling out to check on him. Hyunjin gasps and slumps, almost passing out, and Seungmin panics, remembering how weak humans get with little blood in their system. He doesn’t know what Hyunjin meant, though, if he wants to stop or not, so he stays frozen in indecisiveness.
“Jinnie? What’s going on? Are you okay?” He frantically checks whether Hyunjin’s heart is still beating, but he fortunately still feels a pulse.
“I’m— yeah, it’s… okay. Just… hurt a little,” Hyunjin mumbles weakly, looking ghastly pale, and Seungmin thinks he should continue as soon as possible to strengthen Hyunjin with vampire blood.
“I’m going to go on, yeah? It’ll be over soon.” Seungmin’s voice trembles as he speaks, but he takes a deep breath so he is at least calm enough to not hurt Hyunjin unnessecarily. Hyunjin nods faintly and Seungmin bites again, drinking up the last bit before he activates the glands in his teeth to inject Hyunjin with a bit of his own blood so he can turn.
Hyunjin whines in pain and squeezes Seungmin tight in his shaky grip, and Seungmin’s chest feels tight in worry but he shouldn’t interrupt the process before he’s completely done. He just continues and hopes it will be okay.
Eventually, Seungmin pulls back, licking up the drops of blood he spilled, and he checks on Hyunjin to see how he’s feeling. He looks exhausted and pale, which is understandable since he lost a lot of blood and he’s undergoing a whole transformation, but Seungmin hopes he doesn’t feel too bad since it seemed like he was in pain.
“How are you feeling, Hyunjin?” he asks softly, rubbing his hand over Hyunjin’s back comfortingly.
“Weak— and… uncomfortable,” Hyunjin breathes, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead on Seungmin’s shoulder. “But I’ll manage. I— I just have to go through this for— hnng— things to get better, and… and I have you.”
Seungmin smiles a little and whispers that he’s proud of Hyunjin, though he’s still a bit worried. He knows the pain is part of it, but that doesn’t mean that Seungmin likes it. He feels like Hyunjin is so brave for doing this, choosing to go through this suffering to try and change his life for the better, and Seungmin still can’t get over how a big part of Hyunjin’s reason to want to turn is him, Hyunjin’s love for him . Seungmin is glad that it’s not the only reason — otherwise he probably wouldn’t accept this easily that Hyunjin would suffer — but he can’t deny that his dead heart still flutters with emotions every time he thinks of Hyunjin’s last letter saying that he wants to spend an eternity with Seungmin.
“And yes, you have me,” Seungmin adds in a whisper as he runs his fingers through Hyunjin’s hair and kisses the side of his head in hopes of soothing him a little. “You have all of me, Hyunjin. For as long as you’ll want me.”
Hyunjin sighs shakily and holds Seungmin tighter instead of answering, but Seungmin knows enough. He knows that the deep love he feels for Hyunjin is returned with at least the same intensity, and if the letters didn’t say it all already, the way Hyunjin trusts him and holds him right now would tell him.
Seungmin looks outside to see that the morning is approaching and even though they probably still have an hour or two of darkness, Seungmin thinks it might be good to head to his home where he can better take care of Hyunjin, especially since he seems to be feeling bad.
“Hyunjin?” Seungmin whispers, and Hyunjin weakly nods on his shoulder to show that he’s listening. “I was thinking of taking you to my place so I can help you better, is that okay?”
“Yes… but— but I don’t think I— can move,” Hyunjin heaves, and he definitely looks too weak and uncomfortable to walk by himself.
“That’s okay, I can carry you, Jinnie.” Carrying him is no feat for Seungmin’s vampire strength and he likes having Hyunjin close to him anyway (now also so he can keep a close eye on how he’s feeling, whether he’s okay). “Is there anything you want to take with you to my place?”
Hyunjin doesn’t seem to want to let go of Seungmin, so Seungmin just already lifts him in his arms and gets the things Hyunjin tells him to get between heavy breaths with Hyunjin clinging onto him before he heads outside and basically sprints to his own house to get Hyunjin to lay down as soon as possible.
Once he’s inside, he lays Hyunjin down on the couch, and he’s concerned when Hyunjin just lets go of him instead of holding on like he did earlier.
“Are you really okay, Jinnie? Can you talk to me and tell me what you’re feeling?” Seungmin asks, trying to mask his nerves, but he fails because his voice is about to break. Should he get Chan here? It’s late, though, and maybe Chan won’t know what to do either.
“Just… weak, a bit dizzy— toothache, muscle pain,” Hyunjin answers in a small voice, a frown of discomfort on his face as sweat drips down his forehead. Seungmin presses his lips together and runs a hand through his hair as he thinks of what to do to help— if he can even do anything to help. He frantically wracks his brain for solutions until an idea pops up.
“You know what? Maybe drinking some blood will help.” Seungmin hurries to get a blood packet and a straw (because Hyunjin’s fangs haven’t come out yet), and he helps Hyunjin sit up so he can take a sip.
Unfortunately, the blood makes Hyunjin feels nauseous, and Seungmin doesn’t want to force him to drink yet because this is probably part of the side effects. He guesses Hyunjin’s body still has to change so it can handle drinking blood, and Jisung told them it took him a day until he was able to do so as well, so it should be fine. Hyunjin should survive.
“Can we just… just go to bed, Minnie?” Hyunjin pleads softly, and Seungmin remembers that Hyunjin has been awake since midday, so he immediately agrees, even though it’s still a bit early for Seungmin. Right now, what Hyunjin wants is most important.
He first makes sure that Hyunjin has everything he might need within range — blood packets in case he’s hungry, something to chew on in case his teeth start to ache, all the lights off because he’s getting more sensitive to it, and so on — before Seungmin finally settles into bed with him.
His worried frown and uncomfortable jittery feelings don’t seem to want to disappear, but Hyunjin seems to feel well enough to give him a small smile right now, so that eases Seungmin a little bit. Hyunjin then weakly pulls him close into an embrace and seems to want to kiss him, so Seungmin indulges him and kisses Hyunjin lovingly. He can feel Hyunjin’s warmth slowly dissipating and disappearing, but that’s okay, he’ll get used to it, just like they’ll get used to probably living together and seeing each other more. It’s a nice thing to look forward to, and Seungmin thinks it gives them both more motivation and energy to get through the rough bit first and deal with the uncertainty of what will happen, because even though Hyunjin looks very sick, sweaty, and kind of miserable, he looks happy to be in Seungmin’s arms, and Seungmin feels the same.
They catch up a little bit on what happened in the three months that they didn't see each other, but Seungmin can tell that Hyunjin is having trouble talking and staying awake as he listens, so they keep it brief. They will have plenty of time to talk more later, when Hyunjin feels better.
“Even though I feel bad— sick, and uncomfortable, being with you makes up for it,” Hyunjin murmurs with a crooked smile, and Seungmin softens, feeling fond at how Hyunjin says this despite how he feels.
“I missed your cheesiness,” he chuckles, which makes Hyunjin pull himself closer in Seungmin’s embrace. “I’m glad I can make it all a bit more bearable for you. I hope you feel better soon, though. I don’t like seeing you in pain.”
Hyunjin hums gratefully before he tucks his face into the crook of Seungmin’s neck, and Seungmin snuggles closer too, his arms protectively wrapped around Hyunjin.
“Good night, Hyunjin. If you need anything, wake me up, yeah?” he whispers as he kisses Hyunjin’s temple gently. Hyunjin doesn’t answer, and from the way his breathing has calmed a little compared to his heavy, shallow rhythm, Seungmin can tell he has fallen asleep already. Seungmin is glad that Hyunjin managed to fall asleep despite his discomfort, and while he’s sleepy too, he wants to bask in the feeling of having Hyunjin back, back in his arms, back in his life, for a little more.
Seungmin slowly wakes up to the soft sounds of grunting and whimpers, and once Seungmin realizes where he is and who is with him — he apparently didn't dream that Hyunjin came back to him — he shoots up in bed. Hyunjin already woke up once earlier because of the discomfort, toothache, and light (Seungmin’s curtains block almost all of it, but Hyunjin is extra sensitive, and he is probably still in his human sleep rhythm), and Seungmin just massaged his aching muscles and let him chew on something for a while until he fell back asleep, and he wonders what it is now that woke him up.
Seungmin can tell that Hyunjin is trying to reach for something and he probably can’t keep his eyes open because there is still a minimal amount of light seeping in through the blackout curtains, so, Seungmin gently puts his hand on Hyunjin’s back and asks him what he needs.
“I… I want to— drink something,” Hyunjin answers with a strained voice as he stops reaching and turns to Seungmin with squinted eyes. “I don’t really know what this feeling is, but… I– I hate feeling this weak.”
“Okay, then we can try drinking some blood again,” Seungmin replies as he gets out of bed and grabs a blood packet and straw. “Do your fangs ache, but instead of your gums hurting, it kind of feels like the insides of your teeth are hollow?”
Hyunjin hums in thought, still looking kind of sick and exhausted unfortunately, before he nods and whispers a confirmation.
“Yeah, then you’re probably a bit hungry. Here, take a few sips and see how you feel.” Seungmin helps Hyunjin sit upright and brings the straw to his mouth as he holds up the packet for him since Hyunjin’s hands seem too shaky to properly hold it.
Hyunjin takes a sip and his expression first contorts before his eyes widen and he hungrily takes another few sips. Seungmin just wants to ask him whether the nausea is better when Hyunjin pales and his face deforms into a look of disgust again. He is out of bed before Seungmin can do anything, rushing to the bathroom, and Seungmin hears him throw up what he just drank. Shit.
Seungmin hurries to the bathroom where Hyunjin is heaving above the toilet and embraces him in a back hug in hopes of soothing him a little.
“Still nauseous?” he whispers, and Hyunjin nods at the question. Seungmin sighs, he doesn’t know how to make things better and he hates it. He hates feeling this powerless, especially when Hyunjin is the one suffering. He knows he could expect Hyunjin to suffer, but he hoped he could help a little better than this. “Gosh, I wish I could do something to help. I’m sorry, Jinnie.”
“Don’t apologize,” Hyunjin murmurs, leaning back into Seungmin’s embrace with a sigh and letting his weight be supported by Seungmin. “It’s okay.”
“Hopefully once your fangs grow some more it’ll be better,” Seungmin says, almost more to himself than to Hyunjin, but he hopes it eases Hyunjin a bit, too. “Do you think you can sleep a bit more or not?”
Hyunjin hums in confirmation. “Yeah, I… I’m still exhausted.”
Seungmin helps him drink a bit of water to get rid of the tangy taste of blood and vomit before he carries him back to bed, and Hyunjin almost immediately falls asleep again in Seungmin’s arms. Seungmin isn’t that tired anymore, so he just mindlessly runs his hand through Hyunjin hair, scratching his scalp lightly as he watches Hyunjin’s breathing calm slowly. Even when Hyunjin is sleeping he has a slight frown on his face and he looks sweaty and ill, and Seungmin has to keep telling himself that it’ll get better so that he doesn’t start crying. He keeps telling himself that they have time and their friends to help them figure things out, but Seungmin hopes that Hyunjin knows that too and isn’t regretting his decision to turn, because they can’t go back.
Hyunjin manages to sleep a little more until it’s almost dark, and when they get out of bed — Seungmin still carrying Hyunjin everywhere — Hyunjin tries to drink a little more blood. Now Hyunjin knows the signs of when he’s getting too nauseous and he’s more careful when he drinks, but he only manages two small sips before he feels like he’ll throw up again. Seungmin doesn’t know whether two sips are enough for him to gain back some strength, but they can’t really do anything until Hyunjin can handle drinking more blood, so it’s just a waiting game.
“Do you have plans for today again, Minnie?” Hyunjin asks, leaning his head on Seungmin’s shoulder in fatigue.
“Yeah, I… because the elections are getting closer, we’re meeting with Felix every day to help him with everything,” Seungmin replies, rubbing a hand over Hyunjin’s back. “Do you want to come with us? Or do you want me to cancel so I can stay with you here?”
Hyunjin shakes his head and mutters that he wants to try coming with them in case he gets back some energy, and Seungmin thinks it’s good too, because then his friends might be able to give tips and help with Hyunjin as well.
Seungmin brings along a few blood packets when they go out, and Hyunjin trails behind him, holding onto his shoulders for support — he said he wanted to try walking because his muscle ache is a bit better and he doesn’t want to sit still constantly. Seungmin is glad that it’s getting dark sooner and sooner, because now Hyunjin doesn’t have to suffer from the evening sunlight as much but they can still go out when it’s earlier.
“Seungmin? Who is that with you?” Shit. Seungmin had hoped he could postpone the confrontation with his parents a few days more until Hyunjin would have gotten used to being a vampire more, but he guesses that’s not going to happen. He hides Hyunjin behind himself a little, but his parents seem to recognize him anyway.
“Is that the human?” his father hisses before he sniffs with a frown. “Wait— did you drink from him recently? Are you finally using him for what he’s good for?”
Seungmin holds back a groan as he shakes his head. “No, I— I turned him. He asked me to.”
He doesn’t see any point in lying to his parents when the truth will come out anyway. That, and he isn’t immediately able to think of something to say that would be better than the truth but still close enough that his parents can’t find out the lie.
“Why?” his mother asks.
“Do you really care about the reason?” Seungmin can’t help but counter, and his parents gasp.
“That’s not any way to talk to your mother, Seungmin. Answer her question.”
Seungmin suppresses an eye-roll, but he can’t hold back a sigh. “He wanted to. Simple as that. He wanted to become a vampire.”
His parents squint, as if they don’t trust Hyunjin, but they don’t comment on it, instead asking, “So you’re together again?”
Seungmin shares a look with Hyunjin — they haven’t talked about it explicitly, but Seungmin is pretty sure that they both know each other’s feelings about this — and Hyunjin gives a tentative smile and a nod, telling Seungmin that they indeed think the same, and giving him permission to tell his parents.
“Yes, we are,” Seungmin says proudly, and his parents scowl, but he doesn’t care anymore, because he knows that they’re not going to go against them now that Hyunjin is turning. Even if they would, that isn’t the worst, because they have each other and their friends to fall back on now, and Seungmin is mostly glad that Hyunjin has less chance to be attacked.
“I cannot believe you’re going through all this hassle for this meager boy, son,” his father clicks his tongue disapprovingly. “First you had to adapt to his sleeping schedule and his culture, and now you can throw that all away but you still have to take him through months if not years of him adjusting to the vampire lifestyle and being a vampire. Is that really worth it?”
Seungmin breathes out an amused chuckle as he shakes his head at his parents’ ignorance of his feelings. By now he knows the answer to whether Hyunjin is worth it, and he isn’t afraid to say it.
“Yes. Yes, it is worth it. It all is. I know what it’s like to live without him, and I don’t want that. If he wants to be a vampire, then why shouldn’t I help him? Why shouldn’t I be with him? It’s not like he doesn’t give me anything in return, but either way— things are changing in the community, so we’ll all have to readjust again. He won’t be alone,” he says, and his parents raise an eyebrow. “I love Hyunjin, whether you are happy with it or not. He is worth everything and I don’t care what anyone says about it.”
With that, Seungmin throws his parents a fake smile and he pulls Hyunjin along to continue walking towards Felix’s house. Once they’re a safe distance from his parents, he looks over his shoulder to check if Hyunjin is still okay, if he wasn’t walking too fast, and he is met with a sweet bashful smile that makes Hyunjin look less ill than before. Seungmin almost gets emotional again as he is reminded of how much he missed his boyfriend, but he keeps himself together this time, slowly getting used to the fact that they’re finally together again.
“Thank you for standing up for me, Minnie. I… yeah, I didn’t really think of how much you would have to be helping me during this, so I hope it really isn’t too much of a hassle for you.” Hyunjin rubs his neck as a guilty expression forms on his face. “I— I thought I had gone over everything I needed to keep into account, but I was so focused on whether I would be okay with going through suffering, that I forgot to ask you whether you and your friends are okay dealing with it.”
Seungmin softens and caresses Hyunjin’s cheek. “That’s okay, Jinnie. You still asked whether I wanted to wait before I turned you or not, and my friends and I know what we could expect, so if we weren’t ready, we would have said so. And I hope you’re also not regretting it since you’re feeling so bad.”
Hyunjin smiles in relief and shakes his head weakly. “No, I… I don’t like feeling this weak and uncomfortable, no, but— but I think it’ll be worth it. Being— being with you is already worth it.”
Seungmin swallows away a lump in his throat and briefly, carefully hugs Hyunjin and kisses his lips gently instead of answering. Sometimes Seungmin just doesn’t know what to say to Hyunjin’s sweet words, but luckily a kiss does the trick of conveying his gratitude as well.
They soon arrive at Felix's house, where Seungmin’s friends happily but carefully greet Hyunjin, saying that they missed him and are glad to see him again. It warms Seungmin’s dead heart to see Hyunjin smile a bit and softly laugh at his friends' silly jokes, and even though he still looks pained and weak, Seungmin already begins to see and feel what Hyunjin meant with that he wanted to turn to make friends as well.
His friends don’t really know how to help Hyunjin’s nausea when drinking blood either, and though Changbin says that technically drinking from humans might help, they don’t want to try that for multiple reasons. So, Hyunjin has to deal with feeling weak for a bit longer, but he’s okay with just lying on the couch and listening to everyone talk. He even manages to give a few ideas for slowly being able to bring humans and vampires together — apparently he has thought about it a lot after the breakup and even during their relationship, just like Seungmin has, but Hyunjin is still a bit more knowledgeable about humans than Seungmin is. It gets everyone excited, and Hyunjin looks happy as well despite how he still feels very sick.
That happiness unfortunately doesn't last long, because when Seungmin turns to Hyunjin after they’ve wrapped up their session for today, Hyunjin looks half-dead as he lies on the couch, and not just because he's a vampire. Seungmin feels a sting of guilt shoot through his chest because he was so immersed in their discussions that he hadn't checked on Hyunjin in the past… hour or so? He doesn't know if he could have done anything if he did check on him because Hyunjin didn't want to drink when the rest took a break to have some blood, but he still feels guilty that it had slipped his mind.
"Oh my— Hyunjin, you look awful. Can you walk? Can you move?" Seungmin asks, quickly standing up and crouching beside the couch. He fears that he knows the answer already from the way Hyunjin groans and his muscles twitch as he almost blindly reaches out to hold Seungmin.
"No— everything hurts…" Hyunjin whines as he pulls himself closer and almost collapses on top of Seungmin, hiding his face in the crook of Seungmin’s neck. His skin is ice cold and it startles Seungmin a little. "Please make it stop— Minnie. I— I feel like I’m going to die."
Hyunjin’s sobs break Seungmin’s dead heart and he squeezes Hyunjin tighter in his arms while his friends watch worriedly — they don’t seem to know how to help either.
“Fuck— hold on, Hyunjin. I— it’ll get better. Fight for it— please,” he pleads desperately, trying to both convince himself and Hyunjin. His eyes start to sting no matter how much he wants to stay strong for both of them. “I— I can’t lose you Jinnie.”
“I– I’m trying, but— hnng—” Hyunjin shakes in Seungmin’s arms, weeping and whimpering in pain, and a tear falls down Seungmin’s cheek.
His mood has been fluctuating between happy because Hyunjin is back by his side and things are going well with the preparations for the council elections, and being incredibly worried and heartbroken because Hyunjin is suffering — right now he’s definitely feeling the latter. It kind of feels similar to when they were dating before, but now Seungmin hopes that it will get better soon. It has to. He will do anything for it.
His friends help Hyunjin climb onto his back and offer to help further, but Seungmin doesn’t know what they can do other than letting Hyunjin rest, so he declines, though he’s glad to know that his friends are nearby in case he does need any help.
He says goodbye to his friends before they head back home, Hyunjin’s face still tucked in the crook of Seungmin’s neck, wetting his skin with tears as Seungmin tries to keep himself together, but his legs shake with every step. Hyunjin’s labored breathing doesn’t help Seungmin calm down and he keeps on fruitlessly trying to think of something he can do, but his brain is plagued by doom scenarios.
“Hold on, Hyunie, we’re almost home,” Seungmin whispers shakily and Hyunjin groans in response, his muscles tensing in pain, so Seungmin quickens his step despite feeling like his legs could give in to nerves any second. “Can you talk to me, Jinnie? So that I know how you’re feeling?—”
“ AH— ” Hyunjin cries out and almost chokes Seungmin as his grip tightens on him. Seungmin falters in his step, but he powers through. They’re almost home, so then he can help Hyunjin. He fumbles with his keys while Hyunjin keeps on holding him tighter, letting out pained sounds, but he manages and—
A sudden sharp sting in Seungmin’s shoulder makes him drop the keys after opening the door and yelp, almost losing his balance. He reaches for Hyunjin’s head and notices that Hyunjin is biting him hard, and it hurts even though Hyunjin’s fangs haven’t fully grown yet.
“Ah— Jinnie, it— hnng—” He tries to communicate, but Hyunjin only bites harder, making Seungmin wince and fall down on one knee, losing strength because of the pain. “Hyunjin— AH!— ”
Now Seungmin cries out as a sharp pain shoots through his shoulder and his legs give in while Hyunjin still holds onto him, seemingly unaware of anything except his own pain. Seungmin tries to power through the agony, but he can’t think or see straight, and it feels like Hyunjin is sucking the life out of him— maybe he is, or maybe Seungmin is getting delirious because of the pain.
“Jinnie— stop— agh—” he pleads softly, tears stinging in his eyes as he writhes on the floor, reaching out in the air for nothing. “I— ah—” he cuts himself off with a large gasp when Hyunjin finally detaches himself from Seungmin’s neck and loosens his grip around him, and it suddenly feels like Seungmin can breathe and think again. There is still a dull ache on his shoulder, but the first thing he does now the worst pain is gone is turn himself around and check on Hyunjin.
Hyunjin hovers above him, panting heavily, and Seungmin spots some blood dripping from the corner of his lips— my blood? Seungmin wonders, still trying to comprehend what just happened. A drop falls onto Seungmin’s face and Hyunjin’s eyes widen before he pushes himself back so that he’s sitting and he touches his lips to check that there is indeed blood on his lips.
“Fuck— I– I’m so sorry, Minnie,” Hyunjin breathes, and Seungmin sits up as well, flinching at the pain in his shoulder. “Oh my gosh, your shoulder— Oh no—”
Seungmin finally checks on his shoulder and draws in a breath when he sees the wound — it’s not bleeding because Seungmin doesn’t bleed, but the skin definitely looks punctured and damaged. Hyunjin is frantically apologizing, his guilt-ridden expression making Seungmin’s stomach drop, so he leans forward to cup Hyunjin’s jaw and gently shush him.
“Hey, it’s okay, Jinnie. It– It only hurts a little,” he assures, but it doesn’t do much to ease Hyunjin’s frown. “What happened, though?”
Hyunjin swallows and takes a shaky breath before he answers, “I— I don’t really know. Everything was hurting and suddenly the pain amplified— in my teeth, too— and before I knew it I was biting down on your shoulder and— and I– I don’t know— I think I somehow drank a bit of your blood since you drank some recently, but– I-I’m sorry.”
Seungmin raises his eyebrows in surprise — he doesn’t think he has ever heard of a vampire drinking from another vampire, but the blood on Hyunjin’s lips says everything — but Hyunjin does look better, less in pain and less dead.
“It’s okay. I— The pain only lasted briefly. Are you feeling better now?” Seungmin asks, and Hyunjin nods lightly, though he still seems to feel a little guilty. “That’s good at least. If I have to experience a bit of pain to make things better for you, then I’m fine with that. I’d gladly do that.”
Hyunjin’s eyes become watery as he pouts and carefully hugs Seungmin. “You’re really the sweetest, Minnie,” he murmurs, placing a kiss on Seungmin’s cheek before he pulls back. “I’m sorry for making you go through this all—”
“Wait— Hyunjin, your teeth! Your fangs are out?” Seungmin points out and Hyunjin touches his fangs, jolting a little when he touches the sharp edges. Seungmin inspects them more closely, and they indeed look like normal vampire fangs — at least more grown than they were before.
They look at each other with wide eyes before they fall into each other’s arms in a celebratory hug, and Seungmin doesn’t care that it hurts his shoulder. He pulls back a little to kiss Hyunjin lovingly, and it’s a little clumsy with Hyunjin’s newly grown fangs, but it still feels good and familiar. Hyunjin is okay. He’s going to be fine.
“And don’t apologize for anything, Jinnie,” he whispers against his boyfriend’s plump lips. “Like I told my parents and like you said to me too, it’s worth it. And it’s not like we aren’t used to suffering a little, right?”
Hyunjin pulls back and giggles happily, a sound and sight for sore ears and eyes. Gosh, it’s a relief to see that Hyunjin is feeling better, and he really hopes that now drinking will be easier for him because that would mean that Hyunjin is definitely going to be okay. He suggests that Hyunjin tries to drink a little because now he can bite the packet and drink that way, but Hyunjin first wants to take care of Seungmin’s shoulder, and Seungmin wants to protest, but Hyunjin doesn’t take no for an answer, saying that Seungmin’s blood healed him already so he can still wait a bit before drinking. Seungmin relents, because Hyunjin indeed looks better, and Seungmin finally feels at ease again.
“Do you think drinking your blood helped me because we’re soulmates?” Hyunjin ponders when he’s putting a bandage around Seungmin’s shoulder after cleaning the wound. Seungmin snorts, but he likes the way Hyunjin thinks, he considers them to be soulmates as well, even if he doesn’t think about it often.
“It could be. I don’t know, I’ve never heard of vampires drinking each other’s blood,” Seungmin replies with a chuckle, and Hyunjin gasps.
“Really? Then I definitely think it’s because we’re soulmates.” He grins happily as he finishes wrapping up Seungmin’s shoulder, and Seungmin can’t get enough of that beautiful smile from his boyfriend. “Should you drink something too, by the way? Since I kind of stole a bit of your blood.”
“Yeah, now that you say it, I am feeling a bit peckish,” Seungmin replies and takes Hyunjin’s hand as they leave the bathroom and get some blood packets to drink from. Hyunjin is a bit clumsy with it, and because he spills some as he drinks, he still gets a bit nauseous, but it’s already way better than before because he manages to drink almost half of the packet.
“Oh wow, that… that really does wonders,” Hyunjin breathes in relief as they settle onto the couch. “My muscles still ache, but compared to a few hours ago I feel a hundred times better.”
“I’m so glad, Jinnie,” Seungmin replies softly, scooting closer to Hyunjin to wrap his arms around his boyfriend. “I— gosh, I was scared for a moment there, but I’m happy everything turned out fine and that I could help.”
Hyunjin smiles, looking at Seungmin like he’s his whole world, like he’s his everything, but maybe that’s just because Seungmin sees his own feelings being reflected. “Me too. I do think that I would have survived even if I didn’t bite you, but I guess our soulmate bond made sure I didn’t suffer for longer.”
He cups Seungmin’s jaw and Seungmin melts a little, all of his worries and fears slowly seeping out of him as Hyunjin caresses his skin. “I know that everything would have turned out fine either way. Because I have you, and you are all I need.”
Seungmin’s breath hitches and he can’t help but kiss his boyfriend again. Now that Hyunjin is finally not feeling like he’s dying, Seungmin wants to pull him close and make up for the three months they’ve been apart. He wants to convey everything he feels for Hyunjin, especially everything he can’t put into words.
If the way Hyunjin sighs into the kiss and lovingly returns it, he feels the same, and they end up with their limbs tangled, kissing as if it’s both the last and the first time they’ve done it, wanting to feel each other deeply. Hyunjin’s lips taste like blood and his cheeks are cold as Seungmin holds them, but it warms Seungmin from the inside, and he tilts his head and caresses Hyunjin’s sides as he chases this safe, pleasant feeling.
It reminds him of how they kissed the day they broke up, but back then it was desperate and melancholic, and now it’s hopeful, loving, and assuring. Through the way Hyunjin’s lips move over his and he deepens the kiss, Seungmin knows that everything will be okay, and he feels as loved as he has ever felt.
“Hmmm— I love you, Seungmin,” Hyunjin whispers between kisses. “Always.”
Seungmin’s breath hitches, and he never fails to get emotional whenever Hyunjin declares his love, because now, somehow, Seungmin feels it deeper than ever before.
“I love you too, Hyunjin,” Seungmin replies between kisses, lingering close. “Always.”
‘Dear Seungmin,
It’s been a while since I sent my last letter, a year to be exact, and I know I can just tell you this in person, but I also know how you liked these letters, so I wanted to surprise you with this.
It’s been a tough year, hasn’t it? Can you believe I gave you a scar by biting you only a year ago? Things were difficult, but I’m finally getting used to being a vampire in every way. With Felix in the council now it’s easier, but I’m still forever grateful for your help all the way through. I don’t know if I could have done it without you.
Can you believe we’ve been back together for only a year? It feels like it has been longer, but on the other hand it’s not even close to how much longer I want to spend this life with you.
And maybe I will make writing letters a yearly thing, to hopefully make you smile as much as you said they did when I sent the previous letters because I just love to see you smile, and to remind you of how much I love you because you deserve to feel loved every day.
My soulmate, my love, my Minnie. Thank you for accepting me and helping me when I wanted to turn, I still don’t regret that decision in the slightest, because you made and still make everything worth it. Thank you for supporting me when I wanted to be a representative to help Felix bring humans and vampires together and giving me the confidence to go through with it even when it gets difficult, and even when it meant that we could see each other a little less. And lastly, thank you for helping get me, us, through this tough year. I will try to not feel too guilty that you mostly did all the work, but now that I am getting used to everything, I will promise to always try to do the same for you and show my gratitude.
It was a tough year, but it was one of the best of my life so far, because of you. Here is to many, many more years together.
Love,
Your eternal admirer, Hyunjin.’