Chapter Text
"So, Dad," you say once dinner is nearly done. Before the dessert, though. You need to concentrate, and sometimes dessert makes you sleepy and unfocused. You push the last little grains of rice around your plate. There's not enough for you to be able to pick them up with your fork.
"Yes, Son?"
"I..." You swallow. This is going to be hard. "I was wondering what you think of, uh... Gay people?"
Dad looks a little confused. "What about them?"
"Well, like." You blink. You're really lost now. "What if... one of my guy friends... went out with another guy?"
Dad shrugs one shoulder. "Well, people aren't any different depending on who they're dating. If they are, that's a different problem. If a friend starts acting rudely toward you, or their boyfriend or girlfriend, or anyone else, and makes excuses for themselves... As I said, that's a different problem. But they're still the same person, and I feel they should be treated accordingly. Boys, girls, people in relationships or not... Everyone's a person and should be treated with as much respect as they rightly deserve."
You nod. Makes sense, and more to the point, sounds like your dad. "And... if that friend's boyfriend was... me?"
Dad looks at you, and maybe his eyebrows are a little higher than they normally are. "Son, do you have a boyfriend?"
You nod. At least he didn't middle-name you. He called you 'son'. Not even 'John'. So he must not be too angry. "Yeah."
"Is it Dave?"
You drop your fork onto your plate.
Dad chuckles. "I knew there was something there." Then he gets his Serious Business face on. "He didn't pressure you into it, did he? Not to assume, but... girls?"
"I still like girls, don't get me wrong!" you assure him quickly. "Girls are swell. But Dave... he's... different. He's special."
Dad smiles slightly. "I hear you. As long as he takes care of you, I'm okay with it. Just... Don't think that a same-sex relationship negates the need for safe sex, though. If you decide to have that sort of relationship."
"Wow, Dad, I know. We just started dating today, wow." You look at your plate. Of course you would be careful. If you end up doing that. Because it's not just infections that you need to worry about with him. You're pretty sure you would die if you got Dave pregnant. You balk and shake the thoughts away. You can only imagine how you would feel if you got pregnant somehow!
"He wants to come by for Christmas. Is that okay?"
"Well sure, John. He knows he's always welcome here. What about his guardian?"
"Well, he hasn't exactly asked Bro yet. But he's going to."
Dad nods. "Well, we can make room for them, you know that. And for holidays, the more the merrier!"
You blink once, and then realize what Dad was actually asking. "Yeah, definitely. Well, we'll see." You make a mental note to ask Dave if Bro's going to come visit too.
Dessert is vanilla ice cream and lemon pie, and you're not worried about anything. Nothing at all. You can't wait to get back online and talk to Dave.
You giggle softly to yourself. Your boyfriend.
-
"Hey, Bro, I need to talk to you."
He looks away from the TV and his angled shades reflect the kitchen lights back at you. "Sup, little man?"
"I was thinking about Christmas..."
"What about it?"
"Well, my dark week should be over by then and... I was thinking about visiting Egbert."
Bro nods. "I don't see why not... Honestly a little disappointed, but we can do X-mas a bit later. Everything'll be on sale then, anyway."
You nod. "Sorry. But... I'd like to spend the holidays with my boyfriend. So it would be after New Year's..."
"Your boyfriend? So you finally wore him down?"
"Well, I told him about my downstairs situation and that I wanted to be his boyfriend, and then he said okay."
Bro's glasses shifted slightly, the reflection in them vanishing, and only then did you notice the change in his temperament.
"What?"
"Dave... I know you like this kid, but... Look, you know I'm all for 'live and let live' when it comes to sexual practices, but I don't want to see anyone treat you like just a hole to fuck."
"Wow, Bro, that is not even--"
"But what if it is, Dave? I'm glad you trust him with that info, and I hope he doesn't break that trust, but you're worth much more than just your junk, you feel me? He needs to treat you right, or as your big brother, I'm gonna hafta break his nose. If he even thinks about treating my little bro as a blowup doll without any feelings..."
"Bro, please, you don't know what you're talking--"
"Dave, please." He never says please. You shut up. "I know. Okay? I know you think he's a great guy, and that the world shines out that ass you may or may not want to fuck." You wince a little, but you keep quiet. "But if he's only dating you because you have a snatch... he's an ass and you deserve better."
You nod slowly. "I... don't think that's why. But I'll keep it in mind, okay?"
Bro's shoulders relax and he nods. "Good. Now come play some games with me."
"Oh, I was gonna grab something to eat, actually."
Bro looks up at the wall, obviously checking the time. "Shit, it's late. Hey. How about we go out and celebrate you getting a boyfriend?"
Your ears go hot. "Uh."
"Not an actual question you get to answer, little man. Grab your stuff and pick a place."
You scoff. "Fine. Gimme a minute." You return to your room and get your jacket. You grab your phone and shoot John a quick text.
going out to eat with bro
text me when youre done eating
-ds
You put your phone into your pocket and return to the front room. "Ready, Bro."
He's wearing a lavender fleece and down coat and he nods. "Then let's ride, little man."
You follow him out to the truck and get in.
"So where to?"
"How about pancakes?"
Bro nods and throws Beast into drive. "Pick a station, little bro."
"Really?"
He glances at you. "Would I have said it if I wasn't being serious?"
"Well sometimes you're being ironic..."
"Never about Beast. You know how I feel about music."
You smile a little and tune the radio to your favorite station. A happy country song with a female singer is playing and you start mouthing along with the lyrics... Until you hear Bro start singing along with the chorus. You glance over and he has a completely straight face (you're not surprised) and you sing a little louder, too. The two of you sing along with every song that comes on, even when one or both of you has to resort to 'lalalalaaaa I don't know the woooords' occasionally. The trip to the nearest pancake house goes by a lot faster than normal. You check your phone as Bro parks, but John hasn't texted you back yet.
But you're not worried. You know those Egbert dinners can last a while.
You and Bro get seated and you both order a stack of pancakes each. You order a hot apple cider, he orders an orange soda. Bro asks for some kids' menus to color and you can tell the server thinks he's hot because she says 'right away sir' like a blushing schoolgirl or something. He grins slyly at you when she leaves and you offer him a casual fistbump.
By the time your food arrives, you have drawn a rainbow unicorn fighting with the dinosaur in the kids' menu, and Bro has covered it with distinctly phallic symbols. Part of you hopes he gets kicked out for it, just because that would be a rad story to tell Egbert.
You grin to yourself as you remember that he's your boyfriend now.
You start in on your pancakes, shoving just a bit too much food into your mouth with each forkful. Bro laughs at you. "Downright unmannerly. Who taught you how to act in public?"
You smirk at him and point at him with two pistol-shaped hands. He ruffles your hair and scoffs. You both eat in companionable silence for a while. He finishes before you do, and he confiscates your menu, drawing little penises on it. He colors one in blue and draws squarish glasses on it and you nearly choke. You grab it back from him and he laughs.
The waitress asks if you're ready for dessert or the bill and Bro informs her that "We'd better get some cake since it's the little man's big day." When she returns, she has some of her coworkers in tow and they all sing you their version of a birthday song. Bro claps along with them and you gently bounce your forehead slowly on the table, shoulders shaking slightly as you try to not laugh. When they finish, you look up, smile, and thank them.
"Bro, my birthday was a week ago," you mutter to him once they're out of earshot.
"So? They don't know that."
The cake is chocolate, drowning in vanilla ice cream. You eat about half of it and give Bro the rest. "Thanks, man. For taking me out."
"Well, congrats on the boyfriend."
Bro finishes the cake as the server leaves the bill, and you feel your phone buzz. "Hey, Bro, I'm gonna head out, okay? See you at the car?"
"Sure. Don't get kidnapped."
You nod and pull your phone from your pocket, opening the message.
hey dave, dad wants to know if your bro is gonna come up for christmas too?
You blink and glance in the window at Bro, just finishing up eating the dessert. You tap out a reply quickly.
havent thought about it or asked him why
You barely have enough time to put your gloves on once your phone is back in the front pocket of your jeans before it's buzzing again.
dad said he was welcome too. i think he might actually want to meet him. you know that whole intimidate guardian of the significant other thing.
You get another message before you're done reading the first.
or maybe it's just to welcome him into the unofficial extended family?
You look at the table again, but it's vacated. Shifting the direction of your gaze to the front door, you see him at the register, chatting up whoever's there. You can't remember if it was a dude or a chick behind the counter. You know it wouldn't matter to Bro. You wouldn't put it past him to flirt with anything that was obviously of an age of consent.
He's never cared what's in the pants so much as what's in the head. You've always been grateful for it.
ill ask him when he gets out here k
John texts back a simple k and you sigh, your breath billowing out in front of your face like a cloud. Once Bro leaves the door, he eyes you slowly.
"Everything okay, little man? Thought you were gonna meet me at the car."
"Yeah. Uh, John's dad asked if you were gonna come visit for Christmas too."
Bro glances at you as he heads toward the car. "What do you think of that? You really want two old farts chaperoning your first real dating situation?"
"I don't really mind," you answer, walking beside him and just slightly behind. "We're chill, and I'm sure Dadbert will be cool with meeting you."
"Dadbert?"
"Oh, I never really um... learned his name. Always seemed kind of awkward to ask after knowing him this long. Like 'hey, John, by the way, what's your dad's actual name or was he named Dad when he was born?' You know? Plus John only ever calls him Dad and... well, I don't have a... one of those, so I just call him Mr. Egbert, or Dadbert."
Bro pauses at his door and you watch him past the windshield. He unlocks Beast and you open your door and slide in.
He's absolutely silent for a while. "Dave... am I a screw up because you never had a father figure?" he asks once he's in his seat and the doors are closed.
"What? No, of course not. Bro, you... were my father figure. A father figure doesn't have to be a Dad, you know? I..." You swallow. "I've told you plenty of times. Fucked up as you are, I've never wished I wasn't your brother. Okay? Now... can we get going? Or at least turn the heater on?"
Bro chuckles and pulls his seatbelt across his chest. "Buckle up, little bro."
You do so and look at him again. "So... Christmas?"
"Well, I'll have to call in at the club, but... Yeah, I can go with you. If you want me to."
"Yeah, sure. That way I can have Christmas with my family and my boyfriend. At the same time."
You notice Bro kind of smile, and you turn the radio back on to the country station you left it at. The trip back home has even more singing than the one to the restaurant did. When you get back home, you go straight to your room and log onto Pesterchum, opening up a window with John.
TG: bro said hell go
EB: he'll go?
TG: yeah thats what i said
EB: hehehehe sure.
TG: stfu john
Bro knocks on the frame of your door and you turn to face him.
"How's the 22nd sound?"
"Uh, I'll ask John."
TG: bro wants to know how the 22nd sounds
EB: for tickets?
TG: yeah i assume so
EB: well is dad gonna be picking you guys up from the airport or are you gonna get a rental car?
"Rental car or getting picked up?"
"Picked up would be rad. I hate driving in new towns in a car that isn't mine."
TG: picked up would be rad
You wait for a while for John to reply.
EB: dad says he gets off work for the holidays on the 22nd at 5pm, so anything that gets you in around 6 should work.
"How's it look to get there around 6? That's when Dadbert gets off work."
Bro taps a few things on his handheld and nods. "Right, booked a flight that should get us in to SeaTac airport around ten to six, barring major electrical or human failure. That plus the baggage claim should work, right?"
"I assume so."
TG: theres a flight that comes in at 10 to 6 and with baggage claim should have us out when your dads there
TG: that cool with him
EB: yeah that's fine with him.
EB: also i think he might want your bro's contact info so we're not stuck playing telephone like this
"Dadbert wants your digits."
Bro flashsteps over to the computer and leans over you.
TG: Mr. Egbert can add Dave's Bro on Pesterchum if he would like. His username is timaeusTestified.
EB: PIPEFAN413, AND JOHN'S FATHER'S NAME IS CHAD.
TG: Broderick. I'll add you now.
EB: SPLENDID.
TG: okay im back now sorry
EB: yeah, same.
TG: pipefan
EB: yeah, i know.
You look over your shoulder and Bro is nowhere to be seen. "Bro, please don't start hitting on him!" you call into the house.
"His name is Chad, Dave," he calls back. You're not quite sure what that means. You hope it means something similar to 'no one with a name like that has a chance with me' but you have been wrong before.
TG: so
EB: so...
TG: i guess ill see you on the 22nd then
EB: yeah! i'm really excited, dave.
TG: i know you are
TG: you get excited about everything
EB: not true!
TG: close enough to being true
TG: case in point
TG: matthew mcconnahoogle
EB: it's MCCONAUGHEY!
TG: case closed bro
TG: case
EB: shut up.
TG: closed
-
You leave the house at eleven thirty on the morning of the twenty-second. A week's worth of clothes packed in a duffle bag along with extra socks and underwear, shower stuff and other necessary toiletries, your warmest jacket on over your long-sleeved shirt, and your converses on. You know it will be colder in Washington than it is here, but the best you have is a tacky red scarf with puppy paw prints all over it and the gloves you keep in your jacket pockets. You texted John earlier, asking if it were snowing there, but he never replied. You guess you'll just have to deal with it if it is. You're really glad Bro isn't driving, in any case.
Bro buys two grilled subs in the airport after you're both checked in, along with an orange juice for himself and an apple juice for you. You thank him and he smiles crookedly at you as he ruffles the top of your head.
"Of course your big bro knows what you like to drink. I only raised you, lived with you your entire life, bought you enough AJ to drown a third-world country..." He sits down beside you and you tear into your sandwich. It takes Bro about two minutes to apparently get bored with just sitting in the terminal, and he starts pointing out inconspicuous strangers and relating their fictional life story to you. "That fella over there woke up twelve hours before he needed to because he didn't check to see if his alarm was set to AM or PM. That lady is stressed out because she doesn't trust her neighbor to feed her seventeen cats right. That kid finally convinced her dad to take her to the national museum of dolls. She's in for a lifetime of nightmares. She doesn't know what she's in for."
"Have you ever even been to a museum?" you tease him.
"More than you could count, li'l man."
Your phone buzzes and you check it.
sorry for missing your text. no, it's not snowing here. right now. anyway, dad wants to make sure you guys get on the plane ok. i guess if you did you wouldn't be able to answer but whatever. see you soon!
no worries bro
were waiting at the terminal now
flight should leave in about an hour if were lucky
you gonna be there at the airport to pick me up
ehhhh probably not. i'm not sure. dad already went to work, so...
k no worries i guess ill see you at your place then
yup! see you then!
Bro looks at you and you try to ignore his shades-covered stare as long as you can. "Something wrong?" he eventually asks.
"No... not really. John might not be at the airport to get us, is all."
"Ah, well I'm sure he would be if he could. It's not a big thing. Right?"
"Yeah... You're right."
Bro nudges you in the arm with his elbow and grins at you. "Don't think about it too hard. You're about six hours from seeing him, give or take. Relax."
You nod and close your eyes behind your aviators.
-
You were not expecting a cardboard sign reading "STRIDER" when you walked onto the main drag of the airport, duffle bag hanging from one hand. Mostly because you were expecting John to not be there to welcome you to the Land of Hipsters and Coffee. Or, from what you were able to observe as you were landing, the Land of Rain and Trees. But there he was, running at you full tilt. He wasn't the one holding the sign, though; that was a gentleman in a fancy, crisp suit and a fedora, an umbrella hanging from one arm, looking like a slightly younger version of Howie Mandel. But only slightly. And with less facial hair. So kind of almost like Powder. You need to stop figuring out who Dadbert reminds you of.
John makes contact with you and you wheeze, not having expected a body check to be the first form of physicality your new boyfriend gave you. After you recover, you realize his arms are around you and your feet are off the ground. You pat him on the shoulder with your free hand and he sets you down. He's shorter than you, but obviously built like a tank to be able to lift you and your bag, no problem.
"Hey, Dave!" His voice is familiar from the many video chats you and he have had, but now you're actually right next to him. It's... different, somehow.
"Hey," you reply.
You glance up and see Bro making his way to Dadbert, and they shake hands enthusiastically.
"Here, let me carry your stuff for you," John offers, stealing the handle from you.
"Sure, thanks," you say, as if you had any real choice in the matter. You both walk toward Bro and Dadbert, and you are acutely aware that the hand nearest you is conspicuously empty. You're not sure if that is to keep your bag from chafing against your leg, or because he wants you to hold his hand. You make a fist out of indecision.
"I parked in the garage," Dadbert says as he leads you toward a wall of windows, through an automatic door, and into a skybridge. You notice that he also took Bro's bag from him, and you aren't sure if that gives you some comfort or takes some away. John was just raised gentlemanly. It's... nothing special in relation to you. Not necessarily, anyway.
You follow them to the Egbert car, a simple four-door, the kind that you see in traffic jams all the time. Dadbert opens the trunk in the back and he and John put the duffle bags in.
"Who wants shotgun?" Dadbert offers as he shuts the trunk.
You look at Bro and he looks at John. "I'll sit up front with ya," he says. You can't see the wink he probably gave you, but you sure can feel it. You get into the back seat with John, and Bro and Dadbert sit in the front.
It takes until you're out of the airport hotel district, but eventually John ever-so-casually sets his hand on top of yours. You curl your fingers around his and smile slightly. He smiles too.