Chapter Text
COUPRIS KINEEMA 41 - It takes exactly three turns of the ignition key to get the MC started. It’s an old relic of sorts, passed down by dozens of police officers before this. Patrol Officer Judit Minot has grown familiar with the vehicle's kicks and sputters. The odd noises it makes every time you push on the brakes a little too hard. Still, the car works and thankfully is not submerged in the sea like its other half-brother.
PERCEPTION (Smell) - The cigarette smell is forever infused in the seats. A mix of musty leather, tobacco and sweat. Sometimes you wonder what your car might’ve smelled like.
VOLITION - Best not to think about it.
LOGIC - Definitely booze.
INTERFACING - Heaps of empty liquor bottles ankle-deep on the floors of your MC. You can practically hear them clinking about as you make a turn to park haphazardly at the station. That poor car.
VOLITION - Enough. It’s not really helping.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - Your stomach is doing a million backflips as you grip at the leather seats, nails digging into the tattered fabric. You feel nauseous and it’s not because you’re prone to motion sickness. Something is eating away at you.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - A few metres away, Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi is making his way back to the Whirling-in-Rags. He rubs at his bruised head, hissing every so often at the prominent sharp pain. He crosses the water lock bridge with heavy steps, his eyes casting upwards to the sky above. It’s snowing again.
EMPATHY - There’s a different sadness in you, creeping at your heart, squeezing your throat and lungs. Suffocating. It feels new and fragile. Like a heartbreak that never happened.
INLAND EMPIRE - This isn’t how it’s supposed to end. It’s all turning grey now. Kim should be here! Even now, you’re sitting at the far end of the passenger seat while Jean has instinctively taken the far right, purposely not talking to you. An empty space at the centre.
COMPOSURE - There's a tightness in your chest. You’re keeping it together because Jean is there and the last thing your partner needs right now is you, bawling like a snot-nosed kid. You breathe out shakily.
YOU - The case is over. He shouldn’t be stuck with me of all people. I’m a worthless amnesic fuck up and Kim is —
VOLITION - Stubbornly diligent.
COMPOSURE - Cool as ice.
EMPATHY - Endlessly patient.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Fucking sexy as fuck.
VOLITION - In the end, he was your focal point. You try to remember the number of times he’s gifted you a smile. Even the hidden ones too. It's meant for you alone, something for you to treasure. The number of times he’s put his gloved hands on you, gripping you, patting you on the back, fleeting touches that left you wanting more. It keeps you awake at night in that cold lifeless shack by the sea.
PERCEPTION (Hearing) - You remember his voice. Of course, you do. You’re incapable of forgetting it for as long as your soul remains on this earth.
VOLITION - Even if you were to attempt another deluge that wipes away another ten years of your existence, his voice will remain etched in your mind palace. A single lifeline. You only need to hear him speak.
CONCEPTUALIZATION - It’s utterly bewitching. Like a siren’s call, you’re powerless against it.
PERCEPTION (Hearing) - You drink in his voice when he whispers low to you. The spike of adrenaline you feel when he decides to call your name instead. On rare occasions, you bask in the barely hidden laughter in his voice when one of your jokes tickled him so suddenly. It’s enough to make you forget that you’re standing in front of a bloated swinging corpse.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - He feels silly whenever he’s involved in one of your ‘stereo investigations’. This isn’t something he should find amusing. He’s still on the clock but instead, you’ve convinced him to play Suzerainty in the Whirling’s cafeteria.
VOLITION - Are you fine with never seeing him again, Harry?
YOU - N-No. No! Can’t I just…y’know. Visit him or something? Down at his station.
LOGIC - Should you be assigned to a case that requires you to cooperate with another RCM officer from a different precinct, then yes, technically, you will be able to visit him. But, you can’t help but contemplate on the chances of that ever happening, let alone being paired up with Kim again. Even now, your own partnership with 57th most finest lieutenant was fueled by some sort of internal workplace spite. From what little Kim has told you, it seems that Precinct 41 and Precinct 57’s relationship is strenuous at best.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - You can try asking your partner. He’ll have the answers.
YOU - “Hey, Jean.”
COMPOSURE - His body tenses for a split second. He was concentrating so hard on ignoring you that he nearly succeeded. Alas, you’ve opened your mouth and he’s mentally back in the carriage with you.
JEAN VIQUEMARE - “What is it, Harry?” His face has resigned to a frown, arms crossed against his chest as he tries his best to sound somewhat cordial with you. He knows you’ve taken the brunt of the case as much as he hates to admit it.
EMPATHY - It reminds him of his own pettiness. He feels guilty for letting you, quite literally, catch the bullets when you needed him the most.
YOU - “Do you think we’ll see Kim again?”
JEAN VIQUEMARE - He raises an eyebrow. “Why do you ask?”
DRAMA - Quick! Any excuse will do, sire! Say that you’re curious.
YOU - “Uh, no reason. I’m just curious.” You tack on a nervous smile which doesn’t help at all.
JEAN VIQUEMARE - “Yeah, sure you are.”
DRAMA - It’s code for ‘I’m not buying this.’
JEAN VIQUEMARE - He relaxes a bit in his seat and thinks of an answer. “I don’t know. After a case as big as this, we might be called in for a post-mortem meeting at his station or Lieutenant Kim visits us at our station. Either way, it's going to be a while before that happens. We have a ton of shit for you back at your desk.”
JUDIT MINOT - “After you’ve recovered, Harry. You won’t need to come to work with a leg like that.” Judit glares at Jean through the rearview mirror. He shifts in his seat before clearing his throat.
JEAN VIQUEMARE - “Of course.”
YOU - “How about after that? Once the loose ends are tied, will Kim’s precinct work more with us?”
TRANT HEILDELSTAM - “I wouldn’t bet on it. They’re nice people, the 57th. I’ve been to their station a couple of times now. You should see their breakroom. Their coffee machine must cost the same as our radiocomputer. Ah, anyway, we don’t get along with them. Well, more specifically, our captains don’t get along with them.”
JUDIT MINOT - “There’s always a disagreement down the line. It’s like both 41 and 57 are destined to become rivals in the workforce. Fighting over who gets Jamrock Central.” Judit comes upon a red traffic light. Slowly, she eases on the breaks. There’s a line of motor carriages in front, waiting for that red light to turn green. She tugs at one of the levers, changing gears to set it to neutral.
SHIVERS - Up ahead there is one more junction. To the right, into the east, you will enter the 8/81 motorway. It will be another half an hour drive to reach the old repurposed silk mill. Office buildings will start emptying by six o’clock as the people of Jamrock head towards their own cars, climb onto rattling buses and hail down taxis for their journey home. Half an hour drive will turn into an hour as peak traffic rears its head.
SHIVERS - A few kilometres from here, Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi is folding his clothes before tucking them away in his lightweight travel bag. He enters what used to be your temporary room to clear away the trash bin overflowing with bloodied bandages and linen. He decides to open the window, hoping the ventilation will ease the suffocating stench of medicine. The lieutenant unhinges the window and pushes gently. A gust of wind takes him by surprise, sweeping back his hair.
SHIVERS - There’s a sense of calmness that washes over him. Like he’s being comforted. The smell of rain and snow, a welcoming breath of fresh air into his lungs. He stares far north where the 8/81 resides as he silently ponders about his own feelings towards you.
SHIVERS - PLEASE WAIT.
LOGIC - The next junction will be the last exit leading towards the main highway. If you are planning on doing something to turn this car around, you better do it NOW.
REACTION SPEED - And FAST. Your window of opportunity is rapidly closing.
VOLITION - You’ve given enough thought on the matter. Before this, you chose to let Kim slip away from you. It’s your choice to make and ultimately, this might be your last chance.
SUGGESTION: 5 - Convince Judit to go back to the Whirling. Success rate: Even, 57%
-
-3 Didn’t offer Kim to join your precinct
-
-1 Asked Jean about seeing Kim again
-
+1 You want to be with Kim
-
+2 You love him
You roll the dice
/// Check Fail ///
SUGGESTION - Okay, here’s how we do this. Just go all-out dramatic. Start sounding so desperate and pathetic that they HAVE to turn around. Maybe you can try crying in front of them too.
YOU - “OH GOD, WE GOTTA TURN BACK! NOW!!!!!!” The volume of your voice coupled with the sheer desperation and urgency in your tone jolted everyone in their seats.
JEAN VIQUEMARE - “What the fuck is it now, shitkid?!” Jean is gripping his seatbelt, the frustration is slowly morphing into another migraine-induced anger.
JUDIT MINOT - “Please tell me you're not going to throw up in the car. Trant, do we have—”
TRANT HEILDELSTAM - “I’ve stored some paper bags in the dashboard just for this occasion.” He shifts in his seat, turning to face both you and Jean at the back, his hand holding onto a brown paper bag as your last salvation.
YOU - “It’s not that! We gotta go back to the Whirling. It's this, uhh…this pen! It’s Kim’s heirloom blue pen. He let me borrow it when I filled in the autopsy form. I forgot to give it back.” You’re showcasing the pen in front of Jean and Trant, both of them equally speechless.
JEAN VIQUEMARE - “Are you being serious right now? It’s a fucking pen. We can just mail it to him or something.”
TRANT HEILDELSTAM - “An heirloom pen you say?” He leans forward a bit closer to inspect the pen with curious eyes.
YOU - “Yes! He said it's from his late grandmother. It's a family heirloom. The only connection he has to his family from Seol.”
JEAN VIQUEMARE - “Trant, you can’t really believe this bullshit?!”
TRANT HEILDELSTAM - “Seol is known for its beauty in calligraphy art, Jean. I was simply curious about the fact but judging by the pen, however, it looks quite ordinary to me. But then again, I shouldn't judge anyone's sentimental value of an object, especially if Harry claims this pen is passed down from Lieutenant Kim’s ancestors.” He smiles and turns to Judit who, quite frankly, doesn’t want to get involved.
JUDIT MINOT - Her eyes are still focused on the traffic light ahead, both hands on the steering lever, ready to change gears at a moment’s notice.
RHETORIC - Hey! Forget about convincing those two blokes. The only person you need to convince is the person behind the steering levers.
EMPATHY - She’s a soft-hearted woman. The best approach is to be honest.
DRAMA - Not too honest.
YOU - “I made a promise to Kim. I said I’d return it to him after the case is wrapped up. Please, please, I-I just need to hand this to him personally. This pen means a lot to him, Judit.”
JUDIT MINOT - She turns around to face you. Her chestnut brown eyes are searching yours. She’s not as expressive as Jean or Trant and it makes reading her face even harder. She almost reminds you of Kim.
JUDIT MINOT - “Is it that important to him? Why didn’t you give it to him when we were about to leave the village?” You don't sense any real annoyance or frustration in her voice. Unlike Jean, she’s more willing to hear your pleas even though she does not believe a single word about that so-called heirloom pen.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - Patrol Officer Judit Minot has been observing you and the lieutenant for the last few days as she stands patiently beside Satellite Officer Jean Viquemare. She notes how often you're smiling around him, stealing glances when he’s not looking, the soft look in your green-grey eyes that leads her to believe that your feelings towards Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi extends beyond mere companionship. She likes connecting the dots as much as you do.
DRAMA - You’re painfully easy to read, sire.
YOU - “I… don't know. Guess it just slipped my mind. But I don't know when I’m ever gonna get a hold of Kim again. I just…please..”
SUGGESTION - At this point, you’re grasping for invisible straws. You’ve resorted to pleading because that’s the only thing you’re apparently good at.
PERCEPTION (Sight) - In the distance, a flash of green catches your attention. There’s a slow movement of motor carriages up ahead like ants marching to their nest.
JUDIT MINOT - She lets out a resigned sigh, her hands pushing back the levers in one swift motion. The motor carriage lurches forward, causing you to bump your head against the headrest. You groan in response.
JUDIT MINOT - “You better owe me dinner when we get back, Harry.”
VOLITION - She means it.
JEAN VIQUEMARE - “For the love of God. Am I the only sane person in this car?!” Jean is slumped in his seat, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. The third oncoming headache of the day and obviously, it stems from you.
YOU - “I won't forget this, Judit. Thank you! I’ll pay for anything.”
REACTION SPEED - Wait, do we even have—
JUDIT MINOT - “Don’t thank me yet, lieutenant. I just hope he hasn’t left the Whirling yet.”
YOU - “No, he’s still there. We can still make it if you step on the gas.”
JUDIT MINOT - She won’t ask how you know this. Judit gives a short nod and looks back at Jean who is silently fuming in his seat. She gives him an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Jean. I’m going to break a few traffic laws.”
YOU - Your fists tightening around the pen. Honest to God, you have no idea what you’re doing.
//////////
COUPRIS KINEEMA 41 - The motor carriage screeches to a halt near the Fritte store, the side view mirror inches away from colliding with the frosted glass windows. The engine finally cools down underneath the hood as soon as Judit turns the ignition key. She gives one last push of the steering levers and turns around to face you and Jean at the back seats. Both of you are deathly silent during the whole car ride.
JUDIT MINOT - “Missed the turn to park near the Whirling. Sorry, Harry, I think you have to walk a bit. Honestly, I didn’t know this thing could go 140.” She’s a bit breathless as she says this. It’s been a while since she’s driven like that.
TRANT HEILDESTAM - “It’s not really supposed to but that was quite the uh—” He lets go of the assist handles with trembling hands. “Jean, are you okay back there?”
JEAN VIQUEMARE - “Y-Yes. I’m fine. Can we just get this over with.” He manages to croak out a response, loosening the seatbelts against his waist. He turns to glare daggers at you. “You better make this quick.”
YOU - You scramble to unfasten your seat belt, the string of your eight-eyed Teratorn tie snagging on the belt. Apparently, you’re still an amnesiac and somehow you forgot about the bullet hole in your thigh. Without much thought, you jumped down from the vehicle with a thud.
PAIN THRESHOLD - The pain nearly knocks you out. It feels like you’ve stepped on a landmine and the shooting pain was the explosion. Slow down a bit, yeah?
SAVOIRE FLAIRE - There’s no time for that!! Kim is probably in his motor carriage by now. Suck it up and make a run to the plaza.
YOU - Gritting your teeth, you make a beeline towards the plaza, your breaths coming out in harsh pants after the first few steps. You’re running and limping at the same time like some deranged penguin set loose from the zoo.
PERCEPTION (Sight) - There! You can make out Kim’s motor carriage in the distance and right beside it, you spot the familiar nylon orange bomber jacket.
KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant is preoccupied with storing away his travel bag in the back seat of his Kineema that he doesn’t notice you waddling frantically towards him.
YOU - “Kim!”
KIM KITSURAGI - He turns instantly towards the sound of your voice, a mixture of confusion and disbelief written on his face. “Harry?” He shuts the door close and rushes towards you. “Harr– Detective, why are you still here? And why are you still running?”
EMPATHY - There’s genuine worry in his voice. He’s already reaching out to grab your arm to steady you.
YOU - “I—hah—need to…” Your lungs suck in as much air as it can take. The pain from your wounded leg is making it hard for you to think properly, let alone form cohesive words. You try to catch your breath while Kim waits patiently for you to regain your strength. A minute passed before you could finally speak.
YOU - “Kim, your pen!” You fumble for the blue pen in your pocket, pulling it out and thrusting it inches away from his face.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Oh, my pen.” He’s very much at a loss for words. Did you seriously come all the way back to return a borrowed pen? He takes it away from your sweaty grip, storing it away in his own pocket before turning to look at you.
KIM KITSURAGI - “Khm, thank you. I don’t mind you keeping it, detective. There’s really no need for you to give it to me back.”
VOLITION - That’s not the reason you came back here. In front of the Whirling where Kim is about to return back to his station and you will be an afterthought in his memories.
YOU - “Kim, I…”
COMPOSURE - Your heart is hammering in your chest, the sound of your heartbeat ringing in your ears as you try to calm down. You are finally in front of Kim, alone together in the deserted plaza where your own blood is spilt from the massacre three days ago.
INLAND EMPIRE - You made a promise back on that islet. You’ve already broken it the moment you left him in that fishing village. Now’s your chance to redeem yourself.
HALF LIGHT - Are you even capable of love again, Harry?
YOU - Does he even want me to be with me? Am I even worth all the pain that I’ll eventually cause him?
HALF LIGHT - You’ll be his ruin one day. Just like the apricot-scented one.
YOU - He shouldn’t want me. I should never have come back here. I should just—
HALF LIGHT - LEAVE.
KIM KITSURAGI - “ Harry? Do you need to sit down?” He’s looking at your eyes now, searching for any signs that you might collapse from a panic attack. His gloved hand holding you tighter now, he’s even going as far as to hold onto your waist.
EMPATHY - You will never get used to this. How is he still so attentive towards you out of all people? His touch feels too gentle, too soft and it’s wasted on you. You hold back the moisture pooling in your eyes.
YOU - “Back at the village, I…wanted to invite you to work at my precinct. I really…want to work with you again, Kim. Taking on tough cases, you and me, solving crimes, working late hours together. Maybe not as my partner but just as colleagues.” You pause for a moment as you try to arrange your thoughts before you start rambling further. “ What I’m saying is…you’re the coolest guy in Revachol. Who wouldn’t want you on their team? Idiots, that’s who!”
KIM KITSURAGI - He’s staring at you with a face that you can’t quite read. He’s silent as he listens to you, his dark eyes wider than usual.
CONCEPTUALIZATION - Like a deer caught in the headlights. Clearly, he’s a bit shaken by your words.
YOU - “But then I realised that I’m being selfish. I didn’t think you would want this sad sack of shit weighing you down. I didn’t say anything back there because you’ve got your awesome precinct with that fancy coffee machine of yours, you’re amazing at your job and then there’s me!” Your fingers pointing to yourself as the ghost of The Expression makes another appearance. Your voice is ringing a bit too loud in the empty plaza. You are acutely aware that a pair of gremlin-shaped kids are eavesdropping on this conversation but you couldn’t give a shit anymore.
YOU - You let your shoulders sag. What little energy you had in your fucked up body is completely drained by that rousing speech.
YOU - “I like being with you, Kim. If I can help it, I want to be around you all the time.”
KIM KITSURAGI - There’s a stretch of silence that falls on both of you. Eventually, the lieutenant clears his throat. His hand never lets go of your arm or waist. It’s still there even after you’ve finished spilling out the things you needed to say.
KIM KITSURAGI - “You know, Harry. We can still see each other, even outside of working hours.”
ESPRIT DE CORPS - Hang on, is that even possible?
YOU - “What do you mean?”
KIM KITSURAGI - “I’m flattered by the offer to work at Precinct 41 but at our current circumstance, I’m not sure how things will play out.” He slowly lets go of you, seeing how you’re faring better on your own two feet. He’s relieved to see colour back in your cheeks.
SUGGESTION - H-He’s turning you down?
KIM KITSURAGI - “But that doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t see you again.” He stops to smile timidly at you. “We could find time to do other things besides police work. You did offer to help me install those helium headlights on my Kineema, didn’t you?”
YOU - “Y-Yeah, I did!”
REACTION SPEED - Oh, you nearly forgot about that.
KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant takes out his notebook and hastily writes down something on the last empty page. He tears out the corner of the paper and hands it you. “It’s my number and address. I assume you don’t remember yours. And please don’t try to call me during odd hours.”
ESPRIT DE CORPS - He really hopes you won’t be drunk dialling him in the middle of the night. He has faith in you that you will continue your own fight without him.
YOU - You take the paper and grip it tight. You’re fearful the wind might snatch it away.
SHIVERS - KEEP IT WITH YOU.
YOU - “I-I won’t. Promise! I actually don’t even know if I have a telephone back at my place.”
INTERFACING - You can always use any public telephone booth. As long as you have a few cents lying around.
KIM KITSURAGI - “And Harry...the feeling is mutual. I enjoy our time together, too.” He’s finding it difficult to look at you in the face as he says this. He stands rigid with his hands behind his back but there’s a small flush of red at the tips of his ears.
COMPOSURE - You’re slack-jawed at that moment, your cheeks reddened by his casual statement. Kim….likes us?
LOGIC - You might need to sit down and process this.
EMPATHY - You ache to hold him again, knowing this will be the last time you get to see him for a while.
VOLITION - Soon. You’ll get that chance at another time in another place.
YOU - “Thank you, Kim. I guess…I should get going now. Jean is going to kill me after this.”
KIM KITSURAGI - A soft chuckle escapes him. “Oh? You better head back then.”
LEDGER OF HATRED AND FAILURE - You clutch onto the piece of paper between your cold fingers before reluctantly storing it in the hidden compartment of your hideous blue ledger. The sticker you took from the church is starting to peel and the lingering smell of garbage is still there. You wave away the cloud of dread that surrounds the flimsy plastic board. You only want that piece of information to be safe. One day, you need to throw away that fucking letter.
KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant is already inside his motor carriage. The ray of light from his headlamps piercing through the darkened streets. He turns to you and gives you a nod. A warm smile on his lips.
EMPATHY - Another goodbye but this time, it’s a happier one. He's nervous about the future. For the first time, he's looking forward to it, knowing that you will be in the picture.
PERCEPTION (Sight) - You watch as the motor carriage disappears into the distance, the sound of the Kineema’s engine fading until there’s only the muffled sound of the Whirling’s music in the background. The street lamps illuminate the words painted on the plaza.
VOLITION - It’s cold. You should head back now.
Fanart from Estela!
