Chapter Text
No sooner than Cas opening the door to their home that Dean flew by him to run to the bathroom, just in time to expel his meagre breakfast. Cas can’t blame him really, they just found out they’re having triplets.
Triplets
3 babies
That’s 2 too many if you ask Cas, don’t get it wrong, he was over the moon that they were expecting, having a baby with Dean is pretty much the dream. But, it goes without saying that multiple pregnancies come with a huge set of risks that their doctor had no reservations listing all at once.
Preeclampsia, placental abruption, anemia, postpartum haemorrhage. And that’s just the tip of the ice berg, male carriers endure far riskier pregnancies than females, and Cas is out of his mind with fear, terrified doesn’t even begin to describe how he’s feeling.
It explains everything really, why Dean’s been constantly vomiting, exhausted, fatigued and as of late suffering from a blood pressure that won’t go below 160/80 every time they test it.
They just got back from their first sonogram where Cas helped Dean lie on his back, roll his shirt so that the doctor could wave a magic wand over his belly and peak inside his body and see the baby and hear his heartbeat. Dean has been so excited for and terrified of that appointment..
What if the baby was not okay
What if it had a defect, a health concern.
He’s shared all of those fears with Cas to which he replied that we’ll deal with it, they’ll be ours and we will love and care for them and give them the best life a boy or girl could have, no matter what.
But Cas didn’t see that one coming, it wasn’t even on their list of worries! One baby is huge, but Three?
Dean’s already suffering so much, and with all those complications plus the fact that he’s carrying multiples throw the idea that this is a text book pregnancy out of the window
Figures!
If anything happens to Dean or those babies, Cas won’t survive, he just won’t! That’s the problem when you decide to have a family, you give a piece of yourself to them and there goes your peace of mind, forever!
This isn’t an issue for Dean, after all he raised his brother, he’s had experience with that sort of thing since he was 4 years old when his mother died and left him with a deadbeat dad who’d leave for weeks on end and a 6 month old. One would say he’s got ample experience in raising children already! Cas isn’t above admitting that he’d always been jealous of the bond Sam and Dean share, having had no meaningful sibling relationships of his own, even though he has 4 brothers!
Apparently, They’ve hit the risk jackpot, and Cas doesn’t know what to do. So, he deals with what’s in front of him and goes to find Dean in the bathroom, spewing only bile at this point, so he sits behind him on the cold, unforgiving floor and waits for him to finish, rubbing his back and just trying to offer whatever support he can possibly give.
When Dean’s finished, he lists his body all the way back into Cas’ chest, exhausted and panting and semi unconscious, and Cas’ arms go around him as if on a reflex, holding him tight and kissing his temple, hoping against hope that he could some way make it all better, transferring some of his strength onto his beloved.
They sit there for a while, breathing in and breathing out in perfect synch, and it’s Dean who finally breaks the silence …
“What are we going to do?” Dean says.
Cas sure didn’t see that one coming! Out of all the things he’d thought Dean would say, that question just wasn’t one of them.
“What do you mean, baby? About what?”
Dean goes to right himself upwards on his knees, facing Cas and he lets him, looks at him with anguish in his eyes and says “What are we going to do about the money Cas, do you think having 3 babies on our salaries can work? You’re still studying to be a lawyer and I’m just a kindergarten teacher! How are we supposed to afford this? And Sam’s tuition, oh my God…”
What? When is that ever a concern? He knows Cas’ family are rich, hell he has a trust fund that could take care of them, Sam and their children until their last day on earth!
“Dean, I’m gonna take care of us, don’t worry about that, you know about the trust fund…”
“NO!” Bellowed Dean, with a force Cas didn’t know how he came to possess after being constantly sick for about 4 weeks.
This scenario is completely out of left field, it takes Cas a minute to even begin to formulate an answer, he takes his time, mirroring Dean’s stance and grabs both his hands, kissing his knuckles one by one and saying “calm down, my love, please don’t get worked up, I’m here and I’m listening, just talk to me”
“Cas, I uh…” and he just waits him out until he can formulate his thoughts “They never approved of me, of us, I don’t want anything to do with their money”
“Dean, baby, that’s my money, my dad’s money, it’s my right, and I wanna use that to give you and our babies the life you deserve, you should worry about your health, my love, take care of yourself and leave me to worry about everything else.”
“But they hate us, Cas, they were so hateful to you all your life and they always gave you a hard time, please, please Cas I don’t want that energy around me or our babies, please! I’ll find some extra work, tutoring or whatever or I’ll pick up a few shifts with Bobby at the shop, or…”
“WHAT? Dean didn’t you hear anything the doctor said earlier? You need to rest, I’m not gonna let you work yourself to death!”
“That’s just doctors making mountains out of mole hills Cas, he was just saying that stuff ….”
“No Dean, No! This is happening, you might as well just wrap your head around it now and accept that you’re gonna have to dial back on your work for the next 7 months”
“You could just forget it Cas, I’m not taking a dime of that money no matter what you say”
“Are you listening to me, Dean? ARE YOU? I’m saying YOU COULD DIE!” Cas is furious, beyond even, why is Dean being so stubborn!
“Well, let’s just hope I do die and then you could just do whatever you want and..”
If Cas has to guess, he’d say that the look on his face is what’s finally shuts him up, cause what Dean just said just about tore him into pieces, just saying the words brought an image that Cas never in a million years wants to see or imagine, it crushed him and he can’t even stop the tears of frustration from falling right now.
He does the only thing he can think of, he stands up, backtracks to the door and goes to leave and clear his head.
“No Cas, please wait, I’m sorry…”
He just can’t hear it, at this moment he’s out of his mind with worry for the love of his life, and classic Dean, he doesn’t care, talking about his death like he’s gonna do it just to spite Cas, he can’t stay here another minute!
And just as he’s about to put his hand to open their front door, he hears a big thud and his heart just about goes to the floor, he looks behind him and finds Dean lying on the floor, completely still and his eyes are closed.
His legs can’t carry him fast enough, he runs shouting “DEAN, DEAN!” at the top of his lungs, going down on his knees hard the minute he reaches him and says “Dean, babe, can you hear me? Please open your eyes baby, open your eyes sweetheart and look at me”
His fingers find Dean’s pulse, and it’s a bit slow but it’s there, and Dean does open his eyes and says “I’m okay, Cas, I just stood up foo fast and got a little dizzy, don’t worry, honey”
Oh thank God! Dean’s voice sounds weak, but it’s music to Cas’ ears “You scared me, baby, I’m so scared please don’t do that again, please.”
“I’m sorry Cas, I’m sorry for everything, please just don’t leave”
And we’re in each other’s arms, everything else just forgotten, we surrender ourselves to this moment, comforting each other.
“You dying is not a joke Dean, it’s an inconceivable scenario, and my soul would die with you, so never, ever speak of it lightly, ever!” And Dean looks downright ashamed, puts both my hands on my face and pulls me in for chaste kisses saying “I’m sorry” over and over again, and I hug him even closer.
When we finally break it off, I look him straight in the eyes and say “I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want to do, okay sweetheart? We’ll figure out a compromise, just please let me take care of you”
“Okay, baby, okay! We’ll talk about it, I just want you to know that nothing is worth living with that hate, you and I have had enough abuse and hate in our lives, we need to protect our family from it no matter what the cost”
“I hear you, Dean, but you have to know that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that I wouldn’t do or handle for you, nothing”
And Dean is nodding along his words, and they kiss so passionately till they lose their breath, overwhelmed with love, and the worry gnawing on Cas’ insides eases and abates, but is not fully gone.
The road is bumpy, but they’ll figure it out together.