Chapter Text
The next time Bellamy saw Murphy it was by chance, two years later.
Bellamy was standing in line at some new hipster coffee shop not to far from the station because Rosie's closed and he needed something other than station coffee and he couldn't help but think as he ordered that the place reminded him a little of Murphy. The outside was nice, a little torn up but it almost looked like they had planned it -though Bellamy knew that it hadn't been intentional at all and was leftover from the collapse of the building next door- and the inside felt a little bit like coming home. It was comforting but it also held an air of being so very far from what home could ever actually be, because that wasn't what it was meant for, and it was the exact place he imagined Murphy would have stopped on his way to the station to annoy him and for a second he missed him terribly, but it passed and he paid for his coffee and turned around to find a place to sit.
As he turned his breath caught in his lungs and he felt like he'd walked into a dream. Maybe he was hallucinating it, but he couldn't be. Murphy was really there in front of him, sitting in the booth, completely lost to the world. He wasn't smiling, he was frowning at the laptop in front of him, but even so, he seemed so much happier than Bellamy had left him and for a second Bellamy considered leaving without saying a word to him, but he couldn't.
The last news he had gotten about Murphy was that he had moved for college, the information given to him by Monty in hopes that it would help Bellamy move on. It hadn't. He still hadn't properly moved on, even now, despite Octavia and Clarke's attempts to get him to date other people. He had tried, he really had, but he couldn't do it. He had accepted that Murphy was gone, but he hadn't moved on. He didn't really want to.
But this, this could his second chance, right here. He could get Murphy back and they could start over. It was unrealistic, he knew, and entertaining those thought was only going to leave him hurting and disappointed, so he shoved them out of his mind as he stared at the man. At most, he might be allowed to say hello to him, but nothing else, because he wasn't getting Murphy back. He knew that, he had accepted it.
Murphy just sat there, typing up something on his computer that still had the same impossible number of stickers on it, his wire framed glasses perched on his nose. His hair was tied up and he looked older. He still wore the same leather jacket from before and it made Bellamy smile, to know that at least one thing hadn't changed. He was concentrating so hard on whatever he was doing that he didn't even notice Bellamy staring at him as he tried to figure out what to say.
Maybe he should just wing it. He had never been good with words, anyway, but Murphy knew that, already. He took a few steps forward, taking a sip of his coffee as he did so, still hoping that somehow the right thing to say would come to him, but it didn't and he walked over, giving up on it.
Just as he got close enough to say something the words died on his tongue. Someone slid into the booth beside Murphy, shoving a cup full of ice and whipped cream in front of him with a “Your syrup, sir.”
“Thanks,” Murphy laughed and it was the best sound Bellamy had heard in forever and it twisted his stomach because he knew what was going to happen before it played out.
The young man leaned over and wrapped his arm around Murphy, looking at the screen for a second before laying his head on Murphy's shoulder, sighing and resting there for a second before Murphy shoved him away, laughing, “Stop being a jerk, Drew, I have to finish this. Go bother Craig.” He readjusted his glasses and looked up, noticing Bellamy for the first time.
His mouth fell open in a little 'o' of shock but before he could say anything Bellamy was gone. He was out of that cafe, his coffee crashing to to floor, and he was promising himself he wouldn't ever return. He should have known better than to try to talk to Murphy. He should have just left it be and walked away.
Bellamy scowled at himself and ran a hand through his hair. He should have just left instead of making an ass of himself like that.
Drew stared out the window after Bellamy in confusion for a moment before looking to Murphy and asking, “So, you know that guy or something?”
Murphy stared at the spilled coffee on the floor, hesitating before shaking his head, “No, not really.” No, he never really did get to know Bellamy, had he? Two weeks wasn't very long, not long enough. No, he didn't know Bellamy.
“You sure? Because he seemed to know you and he looked pretty shaken up about it.”
“I'm sure.” He didn't want to see Bellamy. It was better this way, he'd convinced himself of that before he'd taken off for college. It was for the best, but even now, the words felt like a lie.
“Really sure? Like, so sure that you're completely willing to let him run out of here like that and never, ever see him again?” Murphy hesitated again and Drew laughed at him, “Not that sure, then. Go, my brother's wedding plans can wait. Chase him down and kick his ass for whatever he did that's got you looking like that.”
Murphy stood up, nodding because Drew was right. He couldn't let Bellamy walk away from him again. The first time Murphy had begged him to, but now, after two years, he still wasn't as over it as he would have liked to have been and he knew when he came back after graduation that there was a chance he would see Bellamy again. Hell, he'd been counting on it because even if it was just to work together once in a while, Murphy wanted him back in his life. Two years was a lot of time to think and a lot of time to get over someone, but Murphy hadn't gotten over him. And he would be damned if he let Bellamy run away from him like that.
Murphy left the cafe, following after Bellamy, hoping he hadn't gone too far, but even if he had, Murphy knew where to find him. He didn't have to go to the station, though, because he found him not too far down the street, leaning against his car with his head in his hands and Murphy chuckled, startling him into looking up. He didn't know what else to say, because this was two years coming and he'd be lying if he said he hadn't imagined it a thousand time usually there was a lot more screaming and crying and some begging involved, but it wasn't turning out like that now.
He took a breath and, as smooth as he could be, which, really, was about the equivalent of sandpaper, asked, “You still drive that thing?”
“It still runs,” Bellamy answered with a shrug.
They lapsed into a moment of awkward silence until Bellamy asked, with forced cheerfulness to hide the disappointment he felt, “So, new boyfriend?”
“Brother,” Murphy clarified. “Well, kind of. Brother in-law, really. He's Craig's brother. He's in town for the wedding.”
Bellamy frowned, his confusion evident, “So, you're getting married to... Craig, then?” That didn't sound right even to him, but who knew. A lot could happen in two years.
“No, Mbege's getting married to Craig. I am still woefully single,” Murphy told him, smirking at the relief on Bellamy's face and adding, “Have been for the past two years.”
“Oh,” Bellamy nodded, somewhat ashamed by the relief he felt. It didn't matter whether Murphy was getting married or not. He wasn't Bellamy's anymore and Bellamy had no right to be relieved or disappointed either way.
“Yeah, oh,” Murphy snorted. This was so much more awkward than he had imagined it being. He had always thought it would be easier, that they would immediately pick up where they left off and it struck him that maybe Bellamy didn't want that. That maybe he was just being polite by asking questions and making small talk.
“Me, too,” Bellamy said, smiling slightly. He wasn't sure what to do now, because Murphy was single and so was he and if he hadn't convinced himself that Murphy would never be his again he would have considered it possible that they should get together and try again. But Murphy didn't want that, he had made it clear when he told Bellamy to leave.
“Okay,” The silence was back and Murphy wished he didn't have nearly as much pride because that was the only thing stopping him from just taking two steps forward and grabbing Bellamy by the collar and kissing him because he had wanted that everyday for the past two years and his pride had kept him from seeking it out and now his pride was keeping him rooted in place.
Bellamy wasn't sure what Murphy expected him to do or say but finally, finally he gave in and asked, “Did you want to maybe, I don't know, get coffee?” It was a harmless offer and Murphy could take it however he wanted. If all he wanted was to catch up then that was fine with Bellamy. He would be whatever Murphy wanted him to be to him, he just didn't want him to leave his life again. And there was still that little bit of hope he couldn't stomp down that told him maybe, just maybe, Murphy would want more.
“Just did,” Murphy winced when the words were out of his mouth, his sarcastic reply falling short. He hadn't meant to turn down the offer, but that's exactly what he had done. Smooth as sandpaper.
Bellamy nodded sheepishly, “Right, sorry.” Of course Murphy wouldn't want anything to do with him. He probably was just out here to see why Bellamy had been in the cafe and to tell him to stop stalking him, not that Bellamy was, but Murphy had no way of knowing that.
Murphy bit his lip and tried his best to recover, “I wouldn't say no to a car ride, though.” He wouldn't say no to anything, really.
“You got another story you're after? Because there's a lot of other detectives in the department,” Bellamy told him. There was no reason why Murphy had to come to him. He was sure Monroe or Miller and Harper would be just as good of a source for him. “It doesn't have to be me.”
“Yes, it does,” Murphy said, quietly. It was always going to be Bellamy. It could never be anyone else, really. He figured that out a long time ago, he just hadn't done anything about it.
Bellamy looked at him in surprise, “You mean- Are you serious?” He hoped he was hearing right and that Murphy meant what he thought he did.
“Yeah, I am. I'm incredibly fucking serious and I swear to god, two fucking years is too fucking long and I'm probably completely off and if you don't want this to then you can leave and I'll never try to speak to you again, if you do, then for fuck's sake, but Bellamy Blake, if you don't get over here and kiss me right fucking-”
His speech was cut off by Bellamy's lips as he pulled him in to a kiss, chaste and quick and he broke it a second later, smiling at Murphy. “Do you ever shut up?”
“Not usually,” Murphy smiled back, letting his arms come to rest around Bellamy's neck. “But you're willing to try and make me.”
Bellamy smiled wide and pressed his lips to Murphy's once more, his arms around Murphy's waist as he pulled him close. The kiss was slow and almost hesitant, gentle and full of regret because the last time they had done this there had been tears running down Murphy's cheeks that Bellamy had been the cause of and he swore to himself he was never going to be the cause of that again. He was never going to walk away again. He couldn't.
It didn't take long before Murphy was licking at his lips, wanting more, because this was too long coming for it to be slow for long. Bellamy obliged, parting his lips and pushing his tongue against Murphy's, making him shudder and hold back a whine. They were rough and passionate, two years apart making it so much harder to keep it easy.
Bellamy pulled him back until he had Murphy pressed against his car as Murphy kissed him like they'd never parted. He couldn't have cared less who was watching them, he didn't care that they were in the middle of a public and there was the possibility of a write up if word got back to Kane about it. He didn't care, because he had Murphy back.
Murphy was back in his arms and he was laughing, his head tipped back and Bellamy buried his face in Murphy's neck because this was just like their first kiss, except Bellamy didn't have to worry about it being their last. Murphy kissed him again and this time it wasn't desperate or rough, it was sweet and safe and Bellamy melted into it. Two years Murphy had been gone, two years since Bellamy had screwed up one of the best things to ever happen to him, two years and he finally got a second chance.
He had fallen for Murphy in two days, had him for two weeks, and then lost him for two years, but now he was back and Bellamy wasn't going to let go again. He wasn't going to screw this up again. He wasn't going to keep anything from Murphy, he wasn't going to hurt him, not this time. He was going to hang onto this bratty, loud mouthed, sarcastic, liberal, hippie punk of a journalist and never let go, because two years without Murphy had been hell. He couldn't even begin to imagine a lifetime without him.
Murphy smiled at him when they finally broke apart, nodding his head at the car, “Come on, Romeo. We've got a lot of catching up to do.”
“Let me buy you dinner first,” Bellamy told him, pressing a kiss to his nose.
Murphy gave him a skeptical look and asked, “Rosie's?”
“God, no,” Bellamy assured him. “Finally closed their doors, actually.”
“Shame, they had great coffee,” Murphy laughed and got in the car, sending a text to Drew not to wait for him. He wouldn't be back for a while. Two years left a lot of catching up to do.
They had screwed up the first chance they'd gotten, but that was alright, because they were getting another. Murphy had never really been good at first chances, anyway. Second ones, though, he could do second chances.
They were broken -Bellamy didn't trust enough and Murphy trusted too much- but it had been two years and neither one of them had really moved on. It might end up failing again, they both might get hurt, but it was worth trying. Because Bellamy loved Murphy, and Murphy, well, Murphy almost loved him back. Maybe more than almost.
No, Murphy smiled to himself as Bellamy took his hand across the console. Definitely more than almost.