Chapter Text
Despite his words, it was clear that the Blood God did not take the warning well. He’s not sure if it was just his own head playing tricks on him, but it was as if the sound of the violin followed him, a mockery to his work and cause. He thinks about what The Blade had told him and feels a mix of embarrassment and rage. So what if he followed his duty to help the humans? Even if he wasn’t directed to by the Creator Himself, wasn’t it cruel to see these beings flounder helplessly in their efforts to survive? He wasn’t so sure anymore. He just knew that he would continue to try even so, for Her.
Whenever the sound of the violin would play off and the bloodshed followed, he would learn to look around. He was never far in those moments, almost as if he was waiting somewhere where the angel could spot him. Could run up to him and fight. And fight they did.
It wasn’t good for the Earth. It wasn’t good for the soil beneath their feet that would fly and break apart as they weaved around each other. He thought that one of these days, one of these fights, the god would kill him. But no, there was never a final blow, only a skilled fighter against another. He tried to stay angry after these fights, tried to grasp onto the hate for those red eyes that looked at him, but he couldn’t keep it. The hate seemed to ebb away, being replaced by a sense of connectedness. It was still something quite too foreign to be companionship, but he couldn’t deny that he was starting to look forward to these fights.
It made some sort of warped guilt in his heart form that he did not hate the being that was tearing his work and the people under him apart, but he could not deny the feeling that this was meant to be. How could he hate him when he was a break and almost a solace between his long strides in trying to help the humans? Their fights have turned into a warped comfort he can’t explain. Something so strong and powerful was setting time apart to fight someone like him, to fight a meer angel.
“This is ridiculous.”, He says one day as he blocks the incoming attack coming his way.
“I don’t think so.”, The god says simply, not stopping for a moment.
“You really think terrorizing these guys will help your cause? It’s not how it works.”, He says. There is no anger in his voice. No, he was amused.
“Well it’s something.”, The god says.
“Something.”, Philza repeats. Gods, he could roll his eyes.
After that particular fight, when their moves die down and they brush the dirt off of them and observe their cuts and scrapes, the god does not leave. He looks at the angel and hums.
“Y’know, I thought you were just some fool at first. The other angels, they don’t care as much as you do about their missions. But you’re stuck on helping these people tooth and nail. Thought you were some sort of brainwashed fanatic for Him.”, He says as he leans against his axe.
“Oh fuck off.”, Philza says in offense but hesitates. “He’s only spoken to me once. You really think I would do this all for Him?”
“Oh, you’re doing this from the kindness of your heart then?”, The god says sarcastically and Philza laughs.
“Would it kill you to accept I care about these people like you care about your Piglins?”, He asks. The god raises an eyebrow. He seemed to always know when Philza would slip up. “Well..maybe not as much, but still.”
It was a bitter thing to admit, but it was true. How could he unconditionally love every single one of the growing number of humans when they do not listen or respect him anymore? There were moments in the past when he would adore them as they took his help and teachings and used them in long strides. But times were changing. It would be foolish of him to think he loved all of them. He expects some sort of mockery for admitting it, but the god considers him.
“Come see my people. I want you to understand.”, The god says. Philza is surprised at the offer, but he only takes a moment to agree.
“Ok.”, He says as if they weren’t ruthlessly fighting each other just minutes before. The god holds out his hand, and Philza takes it. His hand looks small in the god's large one. He sees the scars that litter it and wants to ask how someone as grand and powerful as him has gotten such working scars. The hand is warm, hot blooded compared to his with his hollow bones that chilled easily, but the talon-like state of his hands and the feathers that grew aback of it betrayed how dangerous he was as well.
With a swish of his cape, the two are suddenly not on the ground anymore. There is a moment where countless eyes stare at them and voices whisper all around them. It is startling to be perceived by so many all at once, when he cannot do the same back. He shrinks instinctively at the sudden change, ready to bolt and fight, but the god does not look startled. He looks calm.
“Only a moment angel.”, He says as if this is an everyday occurrence.
The voices, hushed, seem to judge him. But some, they call him a friend, blinking calmly at him.
“What-”, He begins to form a question, but it doesn’t matter anymore. The two have solid ground beneath them, the eyes fading away but Philza swears he can still feel them there looking at him. He feels the heat of the Nether seep into him, the sound of lava popping around them.
“Those were the voices.”, The Blade says. He does not explain further, and something about the way he said it tells Philza he shouldn't question it further. The man pulls a golden bracelet from his pocket, putting it in Philza’s hand. “Wear this. Otherwise they’ll think you’re an enemy.”
“Really?”, He says with a snort but accepts the piece of jewelry anyways. He notices the small details carved into piece. It’s something to be marveled, and his instincts of cooing over shiny things almost makes him stay in place and stare at it. He puts it on his wrist quickly. “Guess that’s why you wear a lot of gold huh?”
“Nothing wrong with it.”, The god quickly defends and Philza laughs a bit. He guesses they all have their guilty pleasures.
The god leads him on, their steps careful through the hellish landscape. He’s been there before of course. It took a little difficulty with there being no clear portals between realms, but he was determined to explore every inch he could back in his younger days. Back then the realm was empty besides the lava that singed and the dust that fell from the stagnant air. But now, there were so many living creatures flying about or swimming in the lavas that hurt even him. He stares in awe as they walk.
“Guess things really have changed.”, He says aloud and the god hums.
“Yup. Don’t provoke any of them. Most of these guys are fine on their own, can’t really have the capacity to think or anything.”, He says with a shrug. “The Piglins though, they have their moments, but they’re smart.”
Philza smiles at the way he speaks of them.
“That just because you made them to look like you mate?”, He says and the god just snorts.
“If that’s the case, it makes sense why birds have such small brains.”, The god says back.
“Oh fuck off!”, He says but he’s laughing. It was no secret that birds were made to resemble angels with their feathered wings and affinity for shiny objects. He grumbles. “Some of them are smart, y'know. Don’t underestimate them.”
“Sure thing.”, The Blood God says dryly. Philza thinks he almost sees a smile on his face.
The two walk until they come across a clearing. Philza’s eyes widened at the amount of Piglins that scattered about, some conversing and trading with each other while others seemed to be on guard with loaded crossbows in their hands. He sees structures grand in the background and he can’t help but think how marvelous it was that they could create even in the depths of somewhere like the Nether.
“Now you see.”, The Blood God says. “Pretty great, but it’s not the best. This is all they can do with the limits of the Nether. They eat mushrooms and the meat of other mobs, it’s the best they can do here.”
They walk along, the Piglins stopping to stare at them as they walk. They seemed to regard the god with a respect that Philza had never seen before. They speak a gruff language that he does not understand or thinks his mouth is able to replicate. One of the larger Piglins goes over to the god, speaking to him and the Blood God effortlessly speaks back in their tongue before turning to Philza.
“Telling them not to maul you.”, He explains and Philza rolls his eyes.
“How kind.”, He says. “Look, I get it mate. You’re angry they have to live here, but I can’t do shit. You know only we can travel through realms. And it’s not like we can even get through even if we tried.”
“Maybe. But you see now.”, He says.
“I guess so.”, Philza admits. The god nods.
“Come on, there’s more to show you.”, He says as he takes some steps. Philza follows along, trying not to think about how the situation is odd. The god might be imposing and a nuisance to his work, but he felt a calm inside of him as the god continued to show him around. The Piglins do not attempt to harm him as they walk through their enclosures. They let the angel marvel at their handiwork and creations alongside the god. He thinks it has something to do with the golden bracelet the god had given him, but he starts to suspect it may not just be that when one of the children runs up to him and touches the ends of his braided hair.
He blinks in surprise at the hooved hand touching the strands. He laughs when he sees the culprit, thinking the action is not so different from how the human children act as well before they were taught to fear him. The Blade sees and sighs exasperatedly before talking in their language, the Piglin child squealing a single word over and over in delight. The god shakes his head and calls for one of the grown Piglins, and the child is swept away. Philza laughs.
“What was that about?”, he asks. The god looks away, almost..embarrassed?
“Nothing to worry about.”, he says cryptically. They continue on.
When they are at the top of the bastion overlooking the landscapes, Philza looks over at the god, many questions forming in his mind.
“Y’know, I help the humans for the Goddess of Death.”, He instead admits. The Blood God looks over at him at that.
“What?”, He asks. “That’s who you’re under isn’t it?”
“Well yeah, but it’s more than that.”, He says. His heart warms at the thought of Kristin, and he continues on. Talking to the god was something that was starting to come easy. “When anything dies She’s the one who has to take their souls. You know how long that shit takes when humans are killing each other in droves?”
“Heh?”
“It takes a long time! She barely has a moment to rest now. It’s ass. What kind of unfair shit is it to put all of that on Her? I thought I could stop the humans from at least killing each other, but they invent the stupidest reasons to keep doing it! And then you came and made them lose it!”, He says as he throws his hands up in the air.
“Wait wait- You’re telling me you’re only helping them so..The Goddess of Death has more free time?”, He asks disbelievingly.
“Yeah! I don’t give fuck all about the Creator, I thought you’d get that by now.”, Philza says.
The god laughs, a hand over his face.
“Bruhh.”, He says the unfamiliar phrase, but there’s a smile on his face. “When they said you loved the goddess, I wasn’t expecting this.”, The god says with a shake of his head.
“Oh fuck off!”, Philza says unashamedly as he elbows the god. The god just looks more amused. He pauses, processing the god’s words. His face grows red. “Wait a minute, who says I love Her?”
“Gods and angels gossip. Not that I care, but during that last meeting with the way She was holding you, it was all they were talking about. Guess you were too busy being in love to hear it all.”, The god says. Philza’s face goes even more red. He can’t believe it. Is the Blood God of all people really teasing him right now?
“Oh shut it.”, He says because it’s all his brain could muster to say in the situation.
“Nope. Can’t believe you just admitted that actually. Should have gone with the you really care about your job and boss route honestly, Philza.”, The god continues. The angel frowns.
“Ok. Hold on. You can’t use my name when I don’t even know yours.”, He says. The god frowns at that.
“You haven’t heard? I’m the Blood God. The Blade.”, The god says. Philza shakes his head.
“Those aren’t names. Those are titles.”, He says. The god’s smile drops. He looks at Philza with a look he can’t quite place. He leaned slightly, his ear twitching as if he was listening to something. Philza almost wonders if he took it a step too far before the god speaks.
“Technoblade.”, He says. The phrase is said thickly in a Piglin accent.
“Technoblade.”, Philza tries to repeat perfectly, but it’s not the same as how the Blood God, Technoblade, said it. He tries again. “Technoblade.”
“Don’t think you have the vocals to do it right angel.”, He says, but there’s a shine in his eyes as Philza continues to try. “That’s fine.”
“I’ll keep at it then.”, Philza says. “Something tells me I’ll be seeing more of you, Technoblade.”
“As long as blood flows, I'll be around.”, Technoblade says. Philza smiles a bit at the truth in that statement.
The heat starts to make Philza sweat, and his wings feel stiff and uncomfortable, but still he stays as the two talk amongst themselves. It shouldn’t be this easy to converse with someone who had almost killed you, but it is. Technoblade with his care for his people, and his love for the thrill of fighting talks to Philza as if there was no difference between them, as if Philza was another one of his peers. Philza thinks he doesn’t want to leave. He thinks he would bear the heat if he could just for a bit longer have this. Have someone to talk to. But he knows he can’t, and when the time comes he excuses himself, the god nodding in understanding.
“Seeya mate.”, Philza says. “Technoblade.”
“Philza.”, Technoblade says back with a nod. Philza leaves, and when he awakes in the Overworld, the beginnings of a plan form in his mind.
The next time he is whisked into Her world, he confesses. He confesses all he has done was for her. He confesses of Technoblade and his interferences of his work, and how even so the god has earned his respect. He expects Her to think him foolish, but She smiles.
“Oh angel. I’ve known. I watch over you, you know. I’ve known how hard you work for my sake. And I appreciate you. You should know though, that I don’t expect you to stop death. It comes when it does and there is nothing we can do about it. Even someone like you.”, She says gently, Her voice warm and loving. He wants to weep at how understanding She is. Wants to beg for forgiveness for not being able to change the way things are, but She continues. “You have gained a friend. How wonderful. It always makes me a little worried, how you are often alone.”
“I don’t know if we could be called friends.”, he says but She shakes her head.
“He showed you his home, and fought with you often. All the gods know how closed off The Blood God is. Sounds like he liked you enough if you managed to get his true name from him.”, Kristin says.
“You think so?”, he says thoughtfully. He looks down at the golde bracelet still adorning his wrist. He hadn’t even thought to take it off, knowing he will be back to greet the person who gave it to him again soon. He took the words of the goddess to heart despite his doubts. He smiles, admittance coming out. “If I do something foolish, will you still smile at me?”
“I don’t think I could ever not smile at you silly.”, She says. It’s almost as if She knows his next move better than he does. He leans into Her touch. He doesn’t know what he would do without Her. Such a fate, he doesn’t want to even entertain.
“Thank you.”, He says.
“Of course, love.”, She says. It’s almost painful how much his heart in his chest wants to burst at the word. Love.
“I love you.”, He says truthfully, the air escaping his lungs.
“I love you too.”, She says. They stay that way until she has to leave, the world a little lighter at Her words. The task he’s about to do is even easier with the knowledge that no matter what he is to do, he will be loved.
It made the obsidian he mined from the depths of caves not yet reached by man lighter to carry. It made the task of trying to will the winds to bend and help him create something out of his depths using the ancient material that much easier. He ignored the humans during those countless hours experimenting, only the crows that landed nearby knew what he was up to. He thought of the way Technoblade fondly looked at the Piglins, thought of the way he cared for their suffering in harsh lands, only able to just survive, and his determination steeled. When he mixed fire and put forth his energy he used when he traveled through realms, he did not expect the structure he made to light up. He did not expect a purple hue to light up his face as he thought of love and respect and added fire to the mix.
He laughs when he sees the swirls of the portal, a smile so wide it shows all his sharp teeth. The crows sound off happily to mirror his own joy and relief that the task was not impossible, that he had done it. He chirps, giving them a stern warning despite his elation to not to follow him, that the lands will be too much for their small wings to bear. Thankfully, the mischievous beings listen to his word, and when he enters through the portal he feels as if he has been plunged underwater, the world waving around him and seeming to become undone. But it was only for a moment.
He sees the warm light of lava pools and the netherrack beneath his boots and laughs loudly. He takes a step off the rectangular structure he built.
“Philza?”, A voice calls out his name. He sees Technoblade, standing tall and looking with undisguised awe at the angel and his creation behind him.
“I’ve done it!”, he shouts as he waves. The Blood god stills in shock before he breaks into a grin of his own. Philza laughs more, feet moving to run over to the god, perhaps his new friend, but suddenly something overtakes him.
“Philza!?”, he hears Technoblade call out, but he has no energy to say something back, to ask why he sounds so concerned as suddenly the world fades to black and he is whisked away by something larger than him.
When his eyes open, all that greets him is darkness. Even the glow of his halo and eyes amount to nothing. There is nothingness surrounding him and swallowing every movement, every light, and every sound he could attempt to make. He sits up despite the lethargy in his bones, as if standing up and looking around could make his eyes see something other than the void around him.
“Philza.”, A distorted voice reaches his ears. He stills, frozen. He knows who that voice belongs to. How could he not? He doesn’t think anything else in the world could replicate the sounds the Creator can make. Ah. So there was consequences to his actions after all. He wasn’t a god who could get away with creating wars and causing havoc. No, he was just an angel. And he had broken His rules.
“My lord.”, he spits out. It’s the way He likes to be addressed. He doesn’t bow though. Even if he wanted to do the action, he had no indication of what direction the being was in.
“You broke my rules.”, He continued as if he didn’t hear the angel speak. He sounded angrier as he continued to speak, his words growing larger and louder as he continued on. “You knew that you weren’t supposed to make it possible for realms to be connected for them! And you still went out of your way to do it!”
He stays quiet at that. There was no use denying the obvious.
“I told you to just help the humans! I thought a task like that would be easy enough for an angel! You’re either ignorant or deliberately going against me. Either way, you’re stupid! Did you think I would overlook this?”, He continues on.
“Well you seem to overlook plenty.”, Philza says despite the way the rising tone makes something in him feel uneasy.
“What! You dare talk back to me!”, The Creator shrieks. Philza’s wings flatten against his back instinctively. His ears feel like they are bleeding from the harsh volumes. He swallows back a warble of surprise, refusing to give any indication he is afraid. He stays quiet.
“I should have known. The Goddess of Death is too lenient on you. Either that or she put you up to this.”, He says which causes Philza’s heart to leap into his throat.
“She did not.”, He says quickly. Putting Her into trouble for his actions was a weight he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle. He swallows. He could admit the truth. He could explain the violin, and the blood on the streets, and the Piglins weathering in the unforgiving lands. He could tell the real reason in hopes to lighten the punishment that was sure to come his way. But he thinks of the way Technoblade fought with him honorably. He thinks of the way he proudly looked over the Piglins and all they managed to accomplish despite their circumstances. The way Technoblade spoke to him, and made him laugh.
“I did it to see if I could.”, he says. He was never a great liar, but he had to do this. Had to take the blame all for himself, because it was all of his to take after all. “I did it because the rules are stupid. Why shouldn’t humans see the Nether? There are more resources for them to get. In fact, after this, I think I should open the End as well to them!”
The confidence in his veins quickly leaves once the pain comes. He is not a stranger to pain. It was not something even an angel could avoid for thousands of years. But not like this. Nothing could have prepared him for the way it felt as if every nerve was on fire as what must have been lightning struck down on him. It was agonizing, and even his determination to not show fear went away as shrieks and warbles spilled from his throat at the agonizing feeling. If he wished to beg Him to stop, he doesn’t think he would be able to. He expects death to come. He expects everything in him to collapse in on itself like dust. He expects Her to pick him up gently as his life dissipates. But that does not come. Only pain and the much too loud voice stays with him in the darkness.
“You’re insolent. I should strip your wings.”, He says. The angel could barely understand his words through his agony. “But I’m kind. This is your first slip up. I won’t let this go though, you know that though.”
The pain suddenly stops, his limbs spasming from the aftermath as he convulses on the floor. He feels as if the darkness of the void could swallow him whole. He almost wishes it does. Small, pathetic chips leave his mouth. It's all he can manage after feeling too much all at once. He wants to curse this god. He wants to tell him even this won’t make him some obedient servant to be pushed about. But it hurts too much to even think. He thinks in normal circumstances he would be eased away into unconsciousness at this much pain, but it was almost as if the god himself was keeping him awake, making sure he felt every second of his divine punishment.
The pain suddenly comes again, the lightning pouring down on him and he screams. He was not aware he could make such noises. He was not aware his body was capable of feeling such pain. He was helpless in the grasp of an unmerciful god.
“You will be assigned to a new god, angel.”, He continues and Philza lets out a cry at the statement. The way his creator spits out the word angel is something foul. It is nothing like the way his goddess said it so lovingly. It is nothing like how Technoblade said it like something to be respected. It just adds salt to the wound of not being Hers any longer. The thought is so frightening he almost believes this to be a nightmare. A cruel reminder of his deepest fear. “This new god I assign you won't be as lenient on you, I’ll make sure of it. There won’t be any more careless visits to Her. You are far too busy as she is to waste time with such things. She is too busy to overlook you properly.”
The excruciating electricity stops raining down on him again. He braces himself, expecting for the searing pain to come once again, but it does not. He feels a hand on him, large fingers brush against the back of his head and he whimpers at the touch. “Don’t touch me.”, He tries to say but all that comes out are more pathetic warbles as his nerves burn. He tries to shrink under the touch but can barely move an inch besides the spasms he can’t control that rock his form.
“It’s ok. I’ll forgive you once you prove yourself to me again.”, The voice says. “Prove yourself to me, and I won’t ever have to hurt you again. I don’t like seeing my angels in pain.”
He does not attempt to voice his frustrations. He simply breathes through the pain as he closes his eyes and lets sleep overtake him.
When he rouses, his body is much too warm. The air around him is stiff and the surface he lays on almost scalds his sensitive wings. He feels his limbs twitch slightly, his chest heaving as he struggles to gulp in air. He opens his eyes and knows at once despite his fuzzy mind that he is in the Nether once again. He is not sure how long he had been gone. He mumbles a quick prayer to Kristin despite his throat still raw from the pain and screaming alike. He mumbles apology after apology, hoping She will soothe him and scoop him into Her hand again. He hopes She will tell him that nothing could separate them, that the words told to him meant nothing.
But nothing happens. There is no comforting touch here. There is only him wallowing in his mistakes. But was it a mistake to go against that rule? The crushing pain almost dissuades his conviction. He is much too confused to think of such things. He is much too crushed to feel the full weight of not being able to be with Her.
The ringing in his still bleeding ears blankets the sound of heavy footsteps coming towards him quickly, a shout following it.
“Philza!”, A voice, a friend says. He warbles in response, it’s all he can manage, but this is fine to the god that kneels next to his form. Large hands that were made to destroy pick him up with such carefulness that he feels he might break. His eyes filled with tears look up at the god. He is looking at him with understanding, like he knows what happened. And oh. This must be it. This must be who is assigned to. That at least makes the swarming worry in his heart calm just a little.
“I am sorry.”, An apology he did not expect nor want. Why was he apologizing? They both should know who had done this. “I didn’t mean for this. I am sorry.”
He chirps the way he does when the crows that flock to him seeked comfort. The god holds him just a bit closer as if he understood the words his noises meant. He is too tired now. The comforts of unconsciousness once again blanket him graciously as Technoblade picks his body up.