Chapter Text
Luigi had a knack for getting into trouble. It wasn't of any fault of his own, he just had dumb luck. He'd stumble into these things, like running away from a giant turtle. Which he was doing, he was running from a giant turtle. Luckily for him, this wasn't a usual event in his life. Unluckily for him, that meant he didn't know how to out run this thing.
Earlier that day, Luigi had been helping his brother, Mario, fix some plumbing for an elderly neighbor of theirs. Something went wrong and they fell into the pipes. They fell in a forest, which was weird, because you usually fall into a sewer when you fall into a pipe.
"Hm, this is... unusual." Mario said while getting up off the green grass.
"You think?" Luigi said, glaring at his older brother.
Mario looked around a bit until something caught his eye. "Look over there! That looks like it might be a town, only bout a mile away!" He said, pointing to a series of blinking lights in the distance.
Luigi sat up and looked where his brother was pointing. "Could be a town, or our death."
"Oh, come on. You just wanna stay here?"
"We have no clue where we are! The safest option is to stay right here and try to find a way back to Brooklyn!"
"You know what, fine. You do your plan, I do my plan." Mario said while walking away.
"I'll be back in Brooklyn before you get back!"
"Good for you!" He said, giving a thumbs up.
Mario walked off into the distance, and Luigi was alone. The question on Luigi's mind was how to get home. Well, he fell from the sky, so find a high place to get back in the sky? He took a minute to get a grasp of his surroundings before getting up.
There were all sort of trees, but one caught his eye. A large oak. He hadn't done this since he was a kid, so he hoped he still remembered. I mean, how hard could climbing a tree be?
He was stuck at top of a very tall tree. He was too scared to come down. He was clinging to the only thing between him and a very broken neck, a single branch on the tree. If he moved even an inch, he might lose his balance and fall. This was not good. God, why was he such a scaredy cat? He could probably get down if his legs would just stop wobbling! The engine noises didn't help his anxiety. Wait a minute, those weren't there a minute ago, were they? Reluctantly, Luigi turned his head.
There was a racing kart flying at him. It was being piloted by a turtle. That wasn't good. Well, broken neck or not, it was better than getting run over by a giant turtle! Luigi took a deep breath in and dropped down to a branch below him. He took a moment to catch his balance, then dropped down again. He kept it going until he finally got to the ground. Wow, he survived! That was amazing! He didn't die! There was a metallic thud from in front of him. Oh no, that's not good.
A turtle, walking on two legs, about as tall as him, walked out of the woods. The two stared at each other. "Aren't you working for Peach?" It asked.
Luigi didn't know who Peach was, and he didn't care. He just wanted to get outta there! He started running as fast as he could, but the human sized turtle had a racing kart! That wasn't good! He saw a hollowed out tree and hid inside. He heard the kart pull up beside the tree. He was worried his heartbeat might give him away. He put his hand against his mouth. He heard the turtle get back into the kart. He breathed a sigh of relief. Making sure the turtle was actually gone, he ran towards the twinkling lights.
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Luigi ran through a small town, scared for his life. Where could he hide? Just then in a café window, he saw a familiar red cap. He burst through the door.
"Mario! There was a giant turtle! Help me, please!" Luigi was in hysterics.
Mario was sitting in a booth with an unfamiliar woman. The woman was all in pink. "So you didn't make it back to Brooklyn, I assume?" Mario said.
Luigi shook his head. "No, I was in a tree and this turtle in a race car Flys down and asks me about this Peach lady and I just run and now I'm here." He exposited.
"You mean a Koopa troopa?" The woman asked.
"You can call it whatever, it was scary as heck!"
"Well that Peach lady is me." She said, getting up. "And that means the Koopa Kingdom is after me again."
"There is a whole kingdom full of those scary turtle guys?"
"Unfortunately, yes."
"And there's a Koopa King who wants to marry her!" Mario chimed in.
"What?"
A Koopa King? That was not good. Luigi imagined what he looked like. Huge, lumbering, able to kill him in two seconds. Oh God. Why did he have to get out of bed that morning?
"You know what? How about I tell you more back at my castle?"
"You have a castle?"
"Of course, I'm a princess."
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"And that is the entire history of political espionage between the Mushroom Kingdom and the Koopa Kingdom!"
"Ah. I see." That was so much more information then Luigi ever needed to know.
"So, do you two have a place to stay for the night?"
"No, we don't." Mario said. "Hey, why don't we stay here?"
"That's not a half bad idea! How bout we sleep in my room?"
"That sounds like a great idea."
They all walked to Peach's room and Mario and Peach chatted more. About what, Luigi didn't care. He was caught up in his own thoughts, like, were the King Koopa and Peach actually married? What would happen if the King Koopa tried to snatch Peach during the night? Where would he hide if he burst in?
Peach and Mario slept in Peach's bed while Luigi laid on the floor. Luigi had a restless sleep. The floor was cold and hard and he only had a small blanket to keep him warm. But, eventually, he fell asleep.
He woke up somewhere warm, though the ground was just as hard. He must have thrown off his blanket in his sleep because it was nowhere near him. Also someone was talking about something. As he came to consciousness, he opened his eyes. Huh, were there metal bars there before? And what about those... turtles? Oh no. This wasn't good.
"Yes, but you captured the wrong person!" One turtle yelled.
"Can't we just dress him up?"
"No, he'll never agree to that."
Ah, he saw now that he was going to die. Great. Or he would be married off, which was also great. Amazing, even. He sat up straight.
"Look who's awake, the fake princess."
"Uh, can you please let me out?" Luigi squeaked.
A sharp spear poked into his back. "Silence, prisoner!"
"Alright, alright! I'll be quiet!" Luigi slapped a hand over his face so he wouldn't keep rambling.
"So, you're the new man in town, eh?"
Luigi quickly nodded.
"Don't worry, we won't hurt you."
"Much." The turtle with the spear said.
Luigi stifled a scream. He didn't wanna get hurt at all!
"Should we let him go?"
"No, let's ask him a few questions first. Have you met the King?"
"Answer or die, idiot!" The spear poked slightly further into his back.
"No, I haven't! I've never even seen him before!"
"Damn it. Do you know the princess?"
Luigi quickly nodded, for he was worried if he spoke he might cry. He was getting a little dizzy.
"He looks a little green, pun not intended. Do you wanna stop, maybe, so he doesn't throw up on us?"
His vision had black splotches as he struggled to keep his eyes open.
"Uh, don't puke!" The turtle commanded.
That was the last thing Luigi heard before he fainted. It felt good not to be terrified.
"Hey, greenie, you okay?"
Luigi, once again, found himself waking up. But instead of scary giant turtles, there was a man. He toward over Luigi. He had a perfect mullet, a perfect body, and a perfect goatee.
"Cool, you're alive!" The mysterious man said, reaching out an hand for him.
Luigi put his hand in his. He was so hot! Like, literally! He was warm to the touch! And he was also, like, 7 feet tall! The man lifted him up off the ground.
"So, do you have a name?"
"Uh, my name is Luigi! What's yours?" Luigi said, looking him up and down.
The man had a matching choker and bracelet set. They were black leather with metal spikes. He looked like a punk and Luigi loved that. The man also had long, painted nails. He had a feminine side.
"My name's Bowser. Say, you look new around here, just come into town?"
"I guess you could say that... what about you?"
"Oh, I've lived here my entire life. Do you need help getting back to the Mushroom Kingdom?"
"How can you tell I'm staying there?"
"It's a look, greenie!"
"Well, how are you going to get me back? I assume it would be a long walk since," he gestured vaguely at the dark woods that surrounded the two. "Well, it's so..."
"Koopa-ish?"
"Yeah."
Bowser chuckled. "Don't worry, I can carry you." Without another word from Luigi, Bowser picked him up and started running. He was strong, too!
"You alright there, greenie?"
"Yeah..." Luigi was love struck. Bowser was hot as heck! And he was so sweet too! Carrying him home? That was so romantic! He was so cool! He called him greenie!
"So, how'd you get into the Mushroom Kingdom?"
"Oh, I fell out of the sky!"
"So you literally fell from heaven?" Damn it, that was such a good pick up line! He fell right into that!
"I guess..." Why was he falling for a guy he just met?
Bowser carried him home, asking him questions the whole way. Luigi was kinda freaking out. Who wouldn't? When the man of your dreams walks up to you and carries you home, what else are you supposed to do? Bowser carried him all the way back to Peach's castle!
"You should've told me you were royalty!" Bowser said while putting him down.
"Oh, I'm not, just me and my brother are staying here until we can go back home!"
"That's so nice of Peach."
"Yeah, it is."
"Anyway, hope to see you soon, greenie!"
"Yeah, yeah! I hope we can see each other soon, too!"
Luigi stumbled into the castle, completely love struck. Mario was waiting for him in the hallway.
"So, I saw that man out there, what's his name?"
"Oh, him? You saw us?"
"Of course, dummy!" Mario said, giving him a playful punch. "So tell me, what's his name?"
"His name's Bowser."
"Where did you find him?"
"Oh, he found me." Luigi thought fora moment. "Wait a minute, I think I was kidnapped last night, by the turtles!"
"You mean the koopas?" Peach said, walking up next to the brothers. "You were kidnapped by the koopas?"
"Yeah! They told me that they were looking for you! And then I passed out."
Peach chuckled in spite of herself.
"But hey, look on the bright side, I got to meet Bowser..."
Mario chuckled, Peach did not. "Did he hurt you?"
"Why would my baby brother's crush hurt him?"
"Because it's Bowser! The king of koopas! Were you even listening to my lecture?"
Luigi's heart sunk faster then a plane crashing. "That's not possible, he carried me here!"
"He must have kidnapped you on accident."
"No, I was there with the Koopas who kidnapped me, then I woke up in the woods and there was Bowser! Plus, he was human, like the three of us!"
"Wow, I wonder who in the past 30 years would name their kid Bowser."
"I wouldn't be attracted to him if he was the real king of koopas!"
"You have a point." She sighed. "You don't seem that desperate."
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Luigi slept in Peach's room, alone. No Peach, no Mario, just him and his thoughts. Luigi knew why Peach had done this. She didn't wanna get kidnapped, so she left him in her room so he would get kidnapped instead of her. But Luigi didn't want to be kidnapped again, that would be bad. He would probably die. He didn't want to die. But Luigi was gullible, and wanted to protect people.
Okay, it was time to set up a game plan. If he got kidnapped, he would tell them everything so they wouldn't kill him. What if he fainted again? Maybe he would get to see Bowser! Okay, new plan, faint as fast as possible! Hold your breath, panic, speed run fainting! Then he'd get to see Bowser again. Luigi could see his whole life with him.
They would talk, then date, then they would get married! They'd get a cute dog together, like a weiner dog! And then they'd have kids together, twins! And they'd have the cutest family gatherings! They'd be such a dorky couple! Luigi grabbed his pillow and squealed into it. And when they'd get old, Bowser would carry him everywhere! They would be the perfect pair!
Luigi dreamed romantic dreams of dates and his future life that night. He was having a dream about him and Bowser going roller skating when he heard it, a loud clatter from outside. Damn it, he knew this was going to happen. Might as well not fight it. He sat up in bed. Instead of human sized turtles, there was a man, trying his best to climb onto the window cill. He had very familiar leather bracelets and painted nails. Luigi immediately rushed over and opened the window.
"Bowser, what are you doing here?" He said, grabbing his hand and trying his best to pull him up.
"Better question, why are you sleeping in the princess's room?" He said, finally able to put a foot up on the cill.
"Oh, I'm here so the koopas take me instead of Peach." Luigi chuckled. "Well, at least I'm pretty sure." Luigi looked away from him.
"Any Koopa would have to be an idiot to mistake you for the princess." He said as he dropped to the floor. "After all, you are prettier."
Luigi's heart skipped a beat. "T-thank you!" He stuttered. He called him pretty! That was a first. He'd never been called pretty before in all his years!
They stood in silence for a moment. "It's a lovely morning, why not go for a stroll?" Bowser said, holding out a hand to him.
Luigi took it with no hesitation. Together, as the dew settled and the sun rose, they walked throughout the Mushroom Kingdom. It must have been his imagination, but he could've sworn Bowser's eyes looked red, not brown, like he'd seen earlier.
(A/N, I originally wanted this to be a one shot but, uh, that seems like a good place to end off a part one, so, yeah!)